Asmongold Plays Elden Ring Randomizer (PART 1)

it's time today gentlemen we are going to be playing the Elden ring randomizer We have randomized basically everything to make this experience as unpleasant for me and as entertaining for you as possible I really hope we don't get like Moana at the beginning like that's going to be so upsetting or like placidiax or some [ __ ] [ __ ] like that's what I'm just so afraid of that happening alrighty gentlemen uh let's see what we got okay carrion retaliation what the [ __ ] is that oh oops it's a Perry okay does it work against attacks no okay and I have this Shield too all right let's see what I've got actually inventory yes yes yes memory of Grace no equipment Escape okay meteoric or blade what the [ __ ] okay I guess I'll use that more all right that seems like a pretty good weapon right foreign what the [ __ ] is this wait what the [ __ ] there's two of them wait yo what the how that's this is even [ __ ] Fair there's two mobs this is no I'm not gonna jump off I'm gonna kill him okay we're gonna fight this guy first okay I can't even hit him he I couldn't even do damage that's not even [ __ ] Fair no it's not that you need no way no [ __ ] way are you kidding me thank you I'm gonna kill wait wait wait wait what wait what hey wait what the [ __ ] is this this is insane okay it's fine it's fine it's fine I'm not gonna worry about I'm good I'm good I'm good wait did I kill him all right so we've got oh wow about 100 negation too that's really good okay let's go down here you'll need it I'll be totally fine oh [ __ ] all right that's nope foreign what maybe I can sneak up on him he won't see me wait okay I'll get try and get this guy okay okay all right that one's dead and what do we get Lord sworn's bold [ __ ] I don't need that what about this Mausoleum clears okay all right we're doing fine so far [ __ ] [ __ ] this is this is [ __ ] ridiculous this I okay we're gonna kill that I don't know what these things do all right let's get the bear come on okay all right that guy's dead [ __ ] [ __ ] how how the [ __ ] all right it's fine it's fine it's fine I'm not I'm not even worried like I'll just I'm just gonna keep getting better at the game anyway it's not even a big deal foreign [Music] yeah trust me guys like I'm not even going to take any damage this time I'm just gonna pop off and do what I need to do okay no damage gentlemen quite your walking walking walking walking foreign there you go there you go there you go [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] it's just Scarlet rot one that's the hardest one all right all right all right I'm not even mad okay next let's go whoa okay Jesus stupid [ __ ] bear you think you're better than me you're not thank you [ __ ] [ __ ] okay all right we're good foreign I killed it I killed it I [ __ ] killed it I [ __ ] killed his ass I killed his [ __ ] ass all right we're good okay good we're doing really well so far what oh wait no that's right you aggro them and then they despawn okay nice nice [ __ ] out of here I didn't mean to do that okay all right we're gonna go around him we're gonna hit him with her heavy [ __ ] okay who's this foreign okay what the [ __ ] is this please don't be [ __ ] please please don't be [ __ ] [ __ ] oh he's good he's good he's good okay getting out of the way it's me I'm fighting me no no no how did you heal I can't no no what I can take him I can take him it's no big deal foreign I was only scared because I uh yeah we're gonna just do that [ __ ] what I didn't know he could do that holy [ __ ] okay that's it all right we're just gonna do it the right way yup yup no more no more playing around guys no more games I was just I was pretending before I was pretending just go back strength oh it's easy I got a new weapon pests wave it's a halobardo I don't think I want to use that right now I'm going to add a charge we don't have any magic yet so I'm gonna go all into health and so I can't level up yet spell proof dried liver and wait golden room nine oh my God I just won the [ __ ] Lottery holy [ __ ] I got that I got a nine holy [ __ ] use my staff I don't have a spell like the spell that I have used right now how can I show what spell I have inventory yeah this is garbage like I can't use this right now foreign oh yes tarnished are we yes come to the lands between for the Elden ring yes of course you have no shame in it yes unfortunately for you however you are maidenless without guidance without the strength of rooms and without an invitation to the round table hold you are fated it seems die in obscurity luckily for you however there is one shining Ray of Hope for even the maideness me very take care to listen are you familiar with Grace the golden light that gives life to you tarnish yes you may also behold its golden praise pointing in a particular direction yes at times that is the guidance of Grace the path that a tarnished must travel hmm indeed Grace's guidance holds the answers okay it will lead you tarnished to the path you are meant to follow even if it leads you to your grave all right [Music] I'm just going to go over here and kill this guy not a big deal uh foreign foreign why is he so fast I don't know I'm just gonna lose those runes like we all know it like let's just move on okay [Music] okay we're playing it very safe that was a mistake it's fine [Music] foreign I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm good what the [ __ ] we might have to go around him we're gonna have to go around him I think this guy is a real [ __ ] [Music] I thought I had walk up I guess not yeah no we knew those runes were gone Mike let's be honest those runes were 100 gone I should have actually known that attack would have killed me because I remember fighting this guy before and that exact same thing happened foreign oh my God to go to the next one I don't think I can kill this guy this guy's too much of a [ __ ] right now like I think that I might be able to but like I don't want to just beat my head against them it's like I have no I have no tools to beat this boss okay let's go around them it's literally an in-game boss there let's see what these items are golden room five we're getting really lucky with these rooms boys you're a tarnished I can see it and I can also let you along that wine I am Carly what does he sell storm Hawk ax night shard icy breath of Boral ass lion grapevo oh wow somber one and somber 2. meteoric orblade that's the one that I have Swifty fires semi-invisible magic projectile I think I should use this dual wield The Ore Blade no I think I should use the spell Nitro yeah we have to get the the point where we can level up though that's the problem okay what the [ __ ] oh this is no big deal actually let's see how we're looking over here okay we've got a jellyfish you have runes I know I'm going to go around them and I'm gonna I'm gonna level I'm gonna be able to level right here this is going to be huge for me okay there's nothing [ __ ] over there nothing [ __ ] over here okay good this should be where we level up here we go greetings hey yo what up Traveler from Beyond the fog I am Melanie okay foreign have you heard no they serve the two fingers offering guidance and Aid to the tarnished but you I am afraid are made endless I can play the role of Maiden turning rooms into strength to Aid you in your search for the Elden ring you need only take me with you to the foot of the earth tree okay I will accept then it's settled summon Me by grace to turn another matter I bequeath to you this ring what is this oh yeah of course use it to Traverse great distances I knew that it will summon a spectral steed torrent has chosen you treat him with respect how does she get on the mount inside I can't do that can I turn your Rune let my hand share them with me wait I'm level 17. how the [ __ ] am I level 17. okay we're gonna use the runes [Music] okay 3.8k all right I think we farmed 500 more runes and then we go and buy that item the magic spell like 100 . let's see what we get out of here this could any any box can be a big dick box or it can be root resin one or the other okay so that doesn't really work okay Jesus holy [ __ ] jeez I don't even know what the [ __ ] this guy does foreign [ __ ] this guy's so what's you this is insane I'm I'm getting all these super hard mobs that's a four combo yeah holy [ __ ] oh my God let me just I'm gonna go get the runes right now foreign Jesus Christ what is this I can't even backstab them holy [ __ ] question Jesus okay holy [ __ ] man this is insane blocking too much I guess I have to okay let me just go around this guy I just have to I have to dodge everything foreign Jesus [ __ ] Christ man holy [ __ ] [ __ ] I can't even kill this guy all right I'm getting yeah I'm actually getting farmed by this okay let's get runs get the spell for killing him I can't I don't have enough when are you supposed to hit that mob I don't know [ __ ] oh my God bro wifey's delayed attacks are just like they're really [ __ ] me man holy [ __ ] need magic yeah I think so he's a pharah Missoula mob yeah like this is really hard I guess I can just do this I'll just do it on the horse it should be fine yeah it's like you just can't like he has like a four attack combo I can't stagger him I have like nothing I can do this is what I'm gonna have to do holy [ __ ] Jesus okay ready all that for 200 runes yeah I know we still got a key out of that though that's okay I'm happy about the key okay that NPC is pretty easy to deal with foreign [Applause] okay foreign at least now we have over 6 000 we can go buy that thing okay that one's dead great and now let's go inside here no big deal dropped an item okay let me deal with that in a minute okay wait no we didn't what are you lying for let's go down here we're gonna get a special item there's always a special item in this box it might just be the knife but it could be Crimson tear Scarab that's an that's armor what [Music] oh [ __ ] that that's awful it's the worst item I've ever seen foreign let's kill the two big boys in in here okay okay [Music] how how are all these other mobs so easy but that one mob was just farming me had like so much more health I always keep forgetting no that's not my button foreign okay this should be no big deal all right he's dead green Great Dragon fled kindred of rot's exultation oh wow okay that's actually big good so we want to be able to poison things now in order for us to do more damage okay everything seems to be dead which is great now let's go back over and buy that item we need to buy this spell immediately I'm not even going to worry about that we're going to tip we're gonna take care of him I'm gonna I'm gonna just I might just deal with them that's all I'm just gonna deal with him huh all right so now what we need to do is we need to buy the item that's right okay purchase I'm gonna purchase night shard [Music] I really hope bro this one had better be good like if this item is bad like I'm probably just gonna probably just end the game all right I've never used spells before in this game how do I use spells at Grace okay I've literally never used a spell before in this game ever memorize spell okay got it foreign and this should do a lot of damage oh also I need to I need to get two more uh uh two more of these okay let's try this new spell out guys come on uh how do I do it again it's like that oh that [ __ ] sucks it didn't even hit him this thing's a piece of [ __ ] wait what the f foreign foreign okay he's gonna try and pull that [ __ ] 300 [ __ ] on him it's not gonna happen [ __ ] [ __ ] foreign No Loot okay all right all right all right let's go into this cave I guess we'll kill this thing for runes foreign what's in here oh this is no big deal that's no big deal foreign I can't see him I can't see anything I can't see [ __ ] okay all right how do I handle this I have to take him back I have to take him back over to here so I can see him in the light I fight him in a light and then I backstab him one two there it is got his ass okay took that guy out [ __ ] oh my [ __ ] god oh my [ __ ] god okay okay okay okay okay okay keep it clean keep it keeping it very very clean all right that guy's dead foreign it's only him right okay oh we can easily kill this guy that's just a one path and one and done look at all that stuff bro massive loot yellow in bar smithing Stone two I need those okay we're doing really well now somber too we need to upgrade my stuff I have to upgrade my weapon my weapon is Big good okay all right what the hell is this foreign come on come on run bro run bro run bro there it is there it is he ain't gonna get me we just roll out of the way of his attacks that's how we handle him that's how it's done that's how a winner plays that's how a winner wins a little stick pass a punch yeah I know well to be fair like the other weapon would have done even more damage I feel like I should not spend my runes to upgrade I should spend them to upgrade it feels like a better idea like I need to upgrade my weapon and not my uh my my level okay I hit the wrong button okay so smithing menu got it so sorcery scaling and then physical scaling as well okay so what we want to go with is we need sombers and we need smithings wait well you'll purchase okay so we can't buy Somers I can only level this one up and what purchase again oh [ __ ] okay I guess I'll buy this yeah might as well soap you [ __ ] kidding me all right we will get one level then no we won't okay let's go back over to the other area Stormfront catacombs have I don't think I've ever been there before [Music] let's go try over there you have no I don't think I have foreign tically I've never been here seems fine so far I can hear his ass I can hear his ass I can hear his ass okay lost ashes of War Miranda powder what the hell do I get with a lost ashes of War oh [ __ ] I'm gonna hit his I'm gonna hit his wing I'm gonna hit his wing we're gonna kill him no it's no big deal we're actually we're gonna we're gonna be cheating we're gonna cheat guys it's fine we're gonna we're gonna be cheating everything's totally okay [ __ ] ass foreign I don't know how this cave layout works okay thank you foreign that's why he can't do anything he's fine okay no [Music] all right let's go let's go back it's not a big deal it's not a video yeah this is no big deal like I know exactly what I'm going to do trust me like this is going to be no problem for me it's a problem for other people but I'm a I'm a Battle Master it's gonna be easy [ __ ] foreign foreign foreign [Music] thank you that's not even my fault like it's not that's not even like I didn't even do that wrong I rip runes doesn't matter I got him back foreign foreign that's right that's right one more one more one more he did one more he did got him [ __ ] got him see I knew I could get his ass I knew I could get his [ __ ] ass laugh all you [ __ ] won wait no wait no way come on oh my God oh my [ __ ] god this is crazy why wait the reason why I moved is because the fire stopped occurring so I thought it was a bug bro I thought it bugged out that's why the fire stopped spawning like so I ran away to make distance so I could hit him with my spells like was it [ __ ] ass man [ __ ] foreign foreign there it is all right all right we're winning we're winning they don't even see me no no no no no no no no no no no no no no this time thank you deal with him later we've got to move forward we can't waste all of our time here hidden [ __ ] suckers everywhere okay it's fine it's fine that's totally fine things he's dead I don't like killing these but I have to great dragonfly bro why am I getting so many dragonfly heads okay now I guess we have to go down to here right foreign [Music] wait why am I not able to I can't attack I'm locked I can't I can't move my character foreign that's a dead boy good Golem's magic Arrow that's exactly what I needed okay now this this should be is this is this what I think it is wait what foreign holy [ __ ] I got a [ __ ] seed so that means I have to kill the dragon separately how the [ __ ] do I get over to him you're telling me this is a bonus right there gotcha [ __ ] oh my God foreign oh there he is okay let's turn around foreign [ __ ] where's my magic got him got him I killed him foreign let's kill this guy here okay so you're telling me that massive [ __ ] Dragon didn't even drop anything that's a normal mode mob foreign get the [ __ ] out of here we are getting the [ __ ] out of here okay flasks add charge yes allocate flash charges uh four and two seems really good okay cancel level up intelligence I think we should go with intelligence I think intelligence is the best option is mind manna FP let's actually get more Health like my health is just so low right now all right okay let's go down to the next one you always do melee do magic I am like I I literally am doing magic or do hybrid yeah like that's what I want to do I want to have my this guy's [ __ ] okay Hefty Beast bone okay so we have to go over to this one let's make sure that we get this too but those the golden calves Moses spoke about no never mind [ __ ] sucker product Renaissance we have anything good over here oh this could be something really really good what the [ __ ] preserving Bowl asses who cares I don't think that we really need to kill these but we do need to lose that though oh it's legendary huh that's sdl isn't it holy [ __ ] look at that okay we're not really gonna deal with that all right let's think about foreign okay I don't see a reason for us to have to kill this you can't get his spell I can't now but I will that's another legendary item what's over here it should be nothing bad right okay that's just a dick sucker it's no big deal I don't have any uh any light okay let's look and see what what this is remembrance of oh my God wait what just happened holy [ __ ] can't see anywhere else so I guess I must have to go down this way foreign foreign I imagine I'm out of magic I'm out of magic oh he's gay he up tailoring tools and sewing needle I I was getting nervous there at the end I ran out of all my spells I was really scared okay we should be fine though let's go all the way across I am so worried doing this I'm so worried because like I don't know what's going to be in here I don't have any heels I don't have anything left oh I have one heel it's actually not true I have one heel okay whatever this is we'll kill it right now instead wow look what what what what hey wait why can't I use my weapon [ __ ] ass all right all right good we're fine we're fine I think that's all the mobs right yeah this should be it okay we made it oh [Music] holy [ __ ] all right there we go gentlemen that's how it's done God [ __ ] damn that [ __ ] was scary well I thought there was an item here flame fortification hmm we need a dragon's heart for that spell that's a good spell I don't think there's anything here for me right I don't remember need faith [ __ ] okay I guess I might as well loot this one here let's teleport we're gonna teleport back over to here to talk to this Merchant we're going to see if he has anything good for us to buy any good snacks what is it this way no it's got to be the other one yeah if he has Funyuns I hope so I used to eat Funyuns like every day at school one time I told my teacher that I could eat Funyuns in school because there was a no food food policy because nothing in Funyuns was actual food what do you need I don't want any trouble wait receive Bell bearing where we want receipt velvet oh wow okay [ __ ] yeah okay we have a golden seed and we also have a golden seed grow curse grown on a body defiled by the dung eater okay these are Big seeds so I think we buy this behind us let's go forward all the way anyway just to make sure that we don't miss anything we could get another legendary remembrance yeah these moms are easy this is no big deal that's a dick sucker dead [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] foreign there's no chance they could have defeated the horse master stupid oh what the oh that's a lava [ __ ] foreign that's big good holy [ __ ] that's wow okay that's huge okay great now we beat that we beat this we [ __ ] that uh let's go back over to there did you check where the large Club is I don't remember I don't I still don't think I'm ready for him I'm so afraid of him okay we've got an Isis member good what an Isis member good what an Isis member all right perfect wait Double Dragon all right let's go what foreign [Music] what foreign we're trying to separate him from his uh from his friends get them right now [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] okay okay okay okay um all right great okay killed all of them that's really good [ __ ] all right I just I don't want to go in there because then I get attacked by all the other mobs lead [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] there's no way there's no [ __ ] way we can beat his ass look at that movie there's no way I could be a danger it's normal mops I'm gonna try and get away from him I just I I don't see how we can kill this thing I really don't I think let's go into this cave let's go into this cave over here and hopefully we can make a little bit more progress because like I'm not even hitting him for full [ __ ] damage you can kill it I could kill it if there weren't a bunch of other mobs that are going to like interfere that's what I'm mostly afraid of okay where's the stuff oh this is going to be really good this is going to be a good item good item right here oh golden run two and three that's actually that is good you got a seat yeah I did actually let me check and see if I can use it I think I might need two now yes I don't have seeds I need to get the other if I get 3 000 I can buy it from that one vendor though okay what is wait what oh my God no thank God okay he's dead there we go there we go okay we got the whole Squad pulling up right now okay that ass I don't know what this does this mod is [ __ ] foreign got magic Grease We don't really need that but we have it now and we already went in there okay we're gonna go back up we're gonna get that that's gonna be a legendary item I can tell I can tell just by looking at the door all right we're gonna pull this guy all the way away and then we're gonna fight the white one talk ass Comcast dick sucker [Music] avoiding they can't get my ass trust me let's go with this smithing Stone one I need that sometimes you have to foreign [ __ ] okay but what's this oh we got Crystal bud oh that's good like weed you know oh my God this place is so deep let me make sure I didn't miss anything on the way over okay I'm very nervous come on there's got to be something here like I need a somber one I don't have a somber [ __ ] one I have a somber uh too but I don't have a somber one wait I forgot this place wait what the bro I I oh my it's so big no I don't I don't [ __ ] have one all right we have to go back and upgrade soon uh there's an item I can upgrade no no no no okay we're not gonna do that yet I'm gonna go back up where is it I knew that wasn't an invisible wall one of these has to [ __ ] here oh no oh I see I see I did it all for this I knew this thank you Beast champion armor altered Viridian Amber medallion that could be really big good I go heavy if I use this though that's the thing okay all right greatly raises maximum stamina I'm going to use that let's see what the boss is I can't tell why should I hear there's no boss no what the [ __ ] I rolled that you piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] sucker [ __ ] I blocked I did not get hit by that [ __ ] you that's what I thought why don't you stagger why don't you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] this [ __ ] love so much he's dead that's what matters is he's dead Speed Run I can't I have to wait for that [ __ ] that thing I don't want to aggro that dick sucker boy either we have to play this one you didn't see [ __ ] [ __ ] now I need to go back that's the worst part is I have to go back because I missed an area am I upgrading yes I'm upgrading there's Parkour in every elevator shop yeah this doesn't happen this does not matter but then how the [ __ ] okay there it is there it goes okay this is a new area [ __ ] ain't [ __ ] foreign but I don't okay wait that's it that's it this is it that's a whole cave what in the [ __ ] okay Let's Travel to here whoa wait okay okay I'll go back people say there's an item behind the shed where is it thank you golden centipede what do you do with that what do you do with a golden [ __ ] centipede you do nothing because there's nothing to do with it huge it's not huge we're gonna have to do something that's a little bit annoying we're gonna have to go over to the coastal cave go over to the dick sucker buy his thing then we're gonna go back up to the Anvil we're going to use the Anvil to upgrade the stuff then after we upgrade the stuff then we're gonna go to one more cave and then after that cave I think that we'll finally be ready to be going big dick against Margaret I think that's what we do that's the smart that's the smart and intelligent thing to do foreign should we buy this right now and we'll buy two of these might as well and by two I mean three we'll buy three of these okay then we'll go up to carway calling it now it's Elven Beast bro if it's Elven Beast it's about to be an album I am the witch I'd heard tale of a tarnished hurting about Atop A spectral Steed and upon looking into the matter the talk I surmise is of thee Thou Art possessed to the power no to call forth the spectral Steve named torrent yes I am the spectral Steed master Spirit calling balls and a golden Rune there's a bell of calling forth for them briefly this is for failures and losers I doubt we shall again meet but all the same learn well the lands between how long will it be I wonder before the tarnished Tire of a basins to the two fingers all right wait well you're back I shouldn't I should get that one I should get that one all right [Music] crafting kit what's it uh we don't have one of those that's a pretty good item strengthen arms okay so we want to upgrade this and then we want to upgrade this then we want to upgrade this and again okay and should we upgrade the shield too I feel like we won't upgrade the shield yet all right and now upgrading the starting staff what's so [ __ ] funny about that I'm using that wait wait wait wait wait wait I'm an idiot I forgot to upgrade my flasks again wait what the hell is this wait what's this one why can I not Mouse over it oh there we go bro or it says Oracle bubbles literal garbage bubbles are op what the hell foreign [Music] wait it's night time that means [ __ ] we know what that means Bridge boss yep there could you help us out Kelly foreign you yeah you there stop pretending you can't see me what Why Won't Anyone look me in the eye I'm I'm not that ugly am I would you go and do that for oh yes Claude just turned me into a tree it was a bush oh weren't you thank you the name's Bach I was pushed out of the cave told not to come back not ever then I ended up as a tree lucky you came along really oh what a shame when they threw me out of the cave they took everything I owned and so this is all I have to express myself that would be really good I hope you can forgive me it's better be really good what or I could snitch back into the cave and bring back something of actual value then I'd be of some real use to you I reckon right I'm I'm frightened of them so I have to gather myself [Music] my knees starting to shut the [ __ ] up [ __ ] right I'm of course oh my God that's a ball bearing Hunter isn't it foreign we got to get that uh that white thing I would have never made that mistake if it wasn't for the fact that uh that thing was just messing me up that's all it's not even my fault that happened sham foreign okay I think there's a thing on the other side wait that's a thing [ __ ] actually I'm sure I've never seen that ability before I don't know what it does wait I thought there was a sight of Grace here missed item no I didn't I did okay let me see if I can beat this guy at night time those mobs are tuned really high I don't know if I'm ready for it don't mess around no they don't yeah he's over there I'm debating how we should get his ass I'm kind of feeling like the best option is to fight him on the horse what the [ __ ] doesn't have that range right okay we're gonna get his ass we're gonna get his ass why did I do that [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] there it is foreign [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] okay new staff and night comment uh you're probably right because he's so hard you can use the staff on the horse here's what I think I'm gonna do start with the sword and I'm going to whittle them down with the sword and then after I get them kind of low and then we start using the comments [Music] I'm so bad at this game I should just delete it I don't even know how that happened I I foreign the range on this sword is like I'm trying to hit him with a toothpick like it's so annoying you're using your Shield no it's like I'm just not used to the range of this weapon this this weapons range I'm not I wouldn't even call it range it's not range wait I was using my shield I played this game on keyboard and mouse why am I so bad foreign okay fight him on foot no that's a mistake he does too much damage And my heels are too weak because I don't have any improvements to my Estus flasks so if I fight him I have to effectively Miss ever I have to dodge every single attack which is just not realistic okay [Music] foreign this is not working yeah this is this is not working okay magical horse yes that's what we're gonna do I don't want to joust with this guy it's [ __ ] annoying with especially with such a small range weapon I can't hit him and get away fast enough it's just a mistake Jesus all right holy [ __ ] sh I can't even res I can't do anything okay we're just not even gonna do that this time it's done on the uh on the staff 100 percent foreign I hate this [ __ ] mob man I'm only gonna do this a few more times this is just [ __ ] pissing this is just pissing me the [ __ ] off I'm getting so frustrated I'm starting I'm starting to get actually agitated I can tell so I'm not thinking logically anymore okay [Music] thank you what I'm how this is just crazy it didn't even show up okay you'll never kill him with this build I don't think I will either I forgot momentum on the attack yeah it's like since you can't be knocked down it keeps sitting you in 0.1 seconds try without the horse just roll all right I don't think I can do that all right this is last attempt unironically last attempt if we don't get them we're gonna go do something else the horse is just making it worse foreign [Music] foreign [Music] foreign foreign [Music] thank you [Music] thank you all right we got his ass holy [ __ ] we got his ass God damn that was [ __ ] brutal holy [ __ ] let's go get that thing we're gonna get that thing we're finessing him we're stealing it it's a hit and run scavengers curved sword what the [ __ ] is that okay let's go possess watchdog's great sword I would use that but I'm not allowed to let me just deal with this guy first all right there we go not too bad we're doing work boys doing lots of work Okay so now where let's kill this thing right now all right all right we have to go to this cave here [Music] is that an elite Lobster is that that looks to me like an elite Lobster that's huge we're gonna use some runes we're gonna level up again okay I think this shouldn't give me two levels yeah they'll actually give me three okay um I think I just need more Health like I'm gonna be honest like I'm really I'm really feeling insecure with the amount of Health that I have actually let me change my flasks too try the great sword oh I have no doubt the great sword will be very good like if we look at the great sword this is the thing that I just got uh this one right here it's big good okay it should be this one that sword is insanely [ __ ] rare I dropped some Stone Watch Dogs which barely exist outside his bosses uh I think they they do exist um can't you uh Farm them in like one dungeon the ones that like the spawn then you have to kite them into the into the light [Music] foreign not the white one but the Mountaintop one I don't remember yeah that's that's the one I remember seeing okay so how the [ __ ] do I get down there it's down here okay I see whoa whoa okay anything that comes through here we kill it foreign foreign we're going to cut our way through all of them holy sh where the [ __ ] did these game where do they come from holy [ __ ] what is this everyone welcome okay [Music] yo I saw me foreign foreign Jesus Christ okay I was a little bit worried about that guy honestly foreign okay [Music] we made it just barely we made it what am I using I'm using a one-handed bleed sword that scales with intellect and dexterity and I'm also using Magic but the magic that I have is not very good I've never seen a knife [Music] it's because the mobs there are programmed to jump down so they're programmed at the top this is hard I need to like I wish the key bindings for this game is better like it's so hard to like manage because I can't keybind everything to the right Keys like for example like changing different uh different buttons like doesn't work and like I don't like using a controller I I know that other people want to use a controller I don't like using one I don't feel comfortable playing with a controller and I don't enjoy it I wish that I was just able to keybind what I want to the right key like yeah I understand that controller would be better but I don't like that I don't like that type of gameplay Jesus [ __ ] Christ foreign I always hate multi-mob fights man I just always hate them foreign holy [ __ ] that took forever okay we got him Jesus I hope I don't die again I'm here foreign all right that one's dead this one should be a really easy area at least this is insane foreign I only have one heel left I think we just need to do this with the with the cast with the Spells I'm like mentally programmed that R is uh it is just to cast a spell I don't know why foreign oh my God it's R it's rebellio yeah I just uh I have a really hard time learning new uh new keybinds and even like going back and like playing a game that I've played a million times like redoing a keybind or relearning something it takes me as long as as learning it for the first time [Music] okay foreign I didn't know he was going to do that [ __ ] thank you I'm trying to get him to do the jump [ __ ] what the [ __ ] let's go I hate this [ __ ] mob so much where is it where's it where's it right there [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm missing okay God damn it bro what a [ __ ] man I'm just getting my ass beat by these mobs it's on the Glock yeah true yeah I just wish that um I don't know why games don't have better uh better support for keyboard it doesn't make sense to me because like uh to me I feel like if I was able to keybind everything that I wanted like my experience playing the game would be a lot better and I would enjoy it a lot more what is this oh right it's an invasion um it just doesn't make sense to me why I'm not able to do that learn the keys well the problem is like the keys are not like you it's complicated Facebook well help me bro foreign there there get him got him nice battle mage leg wraps wait what the hell is that foreign oh nothing well at least now I have actual legs rather than that [ __ ] that they gave me still an improvement we'll do some more levels you can go to settings and change keybinds because there's some keybinds I can't change okay I think we could just go with more intelligence you could also get more points into mind I think let's get more intelligence because that'll scale both things all right what what the oh my God what the [ __ ] is this I can't even see [ __ ] I just it's like just swapping my ability oh my God I was trying to change my potions but I forgot which way to [ __ ] oh [ __ ] foreign I just [ __ ] up my keybinds again let me think this controller I can't foreign [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm tilting too hard I think I'm gonna have to stop soon Godfrey icon what the [ __ ] is that trolls hammer let's see if I can kill this fast enough I'm just gonna play this super aggressive yourself to a man's personal okay all of it wait wait please I Surrender okay let's talk to him quick there it is finally come round have you well I knew you would a man of reason it's gonna it's gonna kill me I took you for a death an innocent about water a true unpacked harnessed like only for now in exchange um [ __ ] annoying okay let's see if we can buy anything from this guy that's important I'll be ready to oh oh so I have to I have to go and rest and come back okay it's no big deal can't wait for you to find a lantern yes same the potion swap key and Autos to yields I don't know like uh I I just I wish I could just keep on different spells to different uh different slots because it would make it a lot easier for me to play because like as I said I just I refuse to learn a controller I don't want to okay it's not wow yeah but there's like if I could keybind it like it was well I I would I would be very happy okay all right I'm gonna use all these this one too I don't know if that's going to be enough or not to buy everything this Warrior jar shard oh oh you guys can't see it it it's too golden it was two golden seeds and a sacred tier and I just had barely enough wait what the [ __ ] huh well well well hey I should have known you skinny what the [ __ ] the gods demand Vengeance vengeance this little dick sucker what the [ __ ] yeah it's at least of these Hawk sucker [ __ ] them let's go this way isn't Godfrey icon for roars it's probably just for some kind of [ __ ] that I don't need what's this Crystal Dart oh yeah the flask I forgot all about that holy [ __ ] Archer asses okay give me one second [Music] [Music] [Music] foreign just get off okay um let's go ahead and figure these out okay flasks out of charge yes increase amount yes owl Kate yes yes uh mixed wondrous physics stamina okay this is [ __ ] garbage all right [Music] isn't there a cave here there's not okay so I did this I mean I guess I could just finish off and do this one too Something's Gonna [ __ ] with me isn't it teleported behind the church wait what there's a teleporter well it's over here right yeah okay I thought so marionette Soldier armor fighting multiple moms I'm not even afraid I just don't want to have to fight like three things attacking these simultaneous okay this weapon is really good [ __ ] sucker oh I hit the wrong button again foreign malformed dargon gauntlets okay so uh where the [ __ ] is it you guys said there's a teleporter where am I teleporting to behind oh [ __ ] you guys okay fine let's go over there oh yeah I remember this now okay okay teleport to another location yes I will absolutely teleport to a random location that I have no idea where it takes me no idea what the [ __ ] I'm doing and what the [ __ ] is [ __ ] foreign [Music] boss you had to open the door and not fight him yeah yeah um yeah uh well I I actually I wanted to fight him just to see like what the what the difference would be and now we know yes and it was a big difference true is this car [ __ ] okay forgive me I've been testing you to determine if the Elden ring would truly have you if you had the metal to endure this long and arduous path it seems my worries were unfounded torrent had your measure from the very start whereas I merely pretended there is but one other thing I can do to offer you guidance I can take you to the round table Hall Gathering Place of tarnished champions Guided by grace go to Round Table very well let my hand rest upon you I do want to go there that way I can look at what I can do with those remembrances yeah new spells new [ __ ] this is big for me this is huge what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] your name okay we got a somber right here okay I need a somber three let me see if I can buy a somber 3 with that ball bearing dick ass oh we know it's this way that's right she's right here wait that's just all the same stuff purchase is Stargazer good plus five in yeah yeah that is good let me see I can fight whatever this is gonna be [Music] foreign [Music] what how how oh there we go fish hey yes get the [ __ ] out of here [ __ ] you okay we got him that was no big deal those dudes get randomized too yeah okay so I don't need to do any more upgrades there I think we're good and I can't upgrade this at all so I think what we need to do now is we just need to go towards Margaret because we we beat all of these we could go do this one but I think we should do Margaret first items down there wait wait wait wait okay all right fine fine fine we'll go back we'll go back we'll go back foreign oh it's down there okay got it there'd better be something big down here Dragon wound grease red Crest heater Shield smithing Stone one thank you guys thank you so much we would have missed all of that holy [ __ ] like thank God that we were we were there to get that it's random you guys should have known that it was random okay let's go okay I don't want to deal with these [ __ ] mobs right now oh let me actually get the uh oh what's this is this gonna be a seed lost asses of War golden ruins Golden Glove War wait oh no oh no what's this gonna be [ __ ] ing stuff wait what thank you still might in a minute all right got it oh wait let me let me loot this too troll knight sword isn't that really good because it does like magic damage or something okay let's go foreign foreign foreign [ __ ] ass that's how it's done she's supposed to give me something wait what you've been heading to him oh what it'll be glad of you I thought it was supposed to be something good they gave me a [ __ ] emote and a butterfly kind of a [ __ ] game is this there's no way The Crucible Knight respawns right he respond okay yeah yeah he does actually a little fun fact there okay let's loot a few items the [ __ ] was that oh a graveyard this is going to be big Lou here watch watch watch I'm gonna get crazy Luke smithing ones sniffing ones golden nines bolt twos foreign smithing fives poor Frost golden six that's everything that's really really big let's go see if we can do the ever goal for awesome people yeah I got this well the stomp got nerfed let's go to acid work yeah it's like what I could do is I could put the asses of War on mine since it already has a bleed and then what the [ __ ] [ __ ] this um and since it already has that I can uh [ __ ] is this I I can I can get Frost and bleed on the same level I think I actually have no idea what I'm talking about okay blue oh wait or I'm going back I'm going back I'm going back chill this better be good guys oh yeah it will be good actually I got a dagger a regular dagger like just a literally a dagger it's a yeah damn you got me okay what's this oh this is big sacred tier that's actually [ __ ] massive holy [ __ ] that is unironic big good okay let's do it this will probably be a pretty easy boss do it see what happens one more [Music] fighting his boss foreign wow okay focus who shows in second phase because it's way easier no this is a really easy boss I just uh I think that what I'm gonna do is I'm just going to use Magic and we're just going to spam Magic on him and he's going to die sad easy it's hard for me to like see where those are coming from [Music] I don't think this is worth it foreign yeah I just I'm not feeling it we're gonna two-handed it was fine you probably won't cast that again okay here we go no no it's it's fine I tried it with magic it didn't work here we go what the [ __ ] was that [Music] [ __ ] I tried to get away from him I just can't economy all right all I need to do is just [ __ ] focus and and kill them I I feel like I'm I'm really really overthinking this okay still not having golden halberg I have never played any of these games without a big two-handed weapon foreign not even kidding I've literally never done it office stupid I I've never seen that combo before from that boss I thought he could only do two different things yeah I've actually never seen that combo what the [ __ ] that was the wind up yeah I just I didn't know what to do he does that if you're right in front of him okay I just can't balance that attack I don't know why foreign foreign that sucks oh my God that's so annoying got more than half of the way yeah I did okay Dodge I just uh I didn't know what he was gonna do foreign [Music] I I don't know the timing for doing any of that okay oh one shot yeah I know like my health is just so bad I'm getting destroyed you got first half of the fight down I it's the same fight the whole time I just uh just making mistakes foreign [Music] like the the like the thing where they just like hold their attack I think it's like the cringiest [ __ ] thing just got mad I got mad and I oh my God I just [ __ ] hate that [ __ ] man [ __ ] the delay got yeah I hate delay attacks man oh my God I was so mad because I get frustrated really easily like I'll get mad super fast like that's why I don't like I that's why I don't like playing like new things on streams because I'll just immediately tilt I have a a very very like bad temper with that stuff and I just it like it brings out the worst of me what the [ __ ] I rolled that thank you [Music] thank you [ __ ] [ __ ] oh my God thank you all right all right let's beat him let's just beat him here we go prized foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] so [ __ ] annoying man foreign [ __ ] foreign yeah just fight pissed me off a lot okay let's get this stuff over here not as difficult as the Giant guess we just have to go back up to there I took around we should be fine why the [ __ ] am I getting great dragonfly heads I've gotten like five what is this not five like I just got five there but I mean like five separate times okay let's look around here [ __ ] price [Music] foreign [Music] it's right there foreign okay let's go up to Margaret and see what we get wait what the what the [ __ ] foreign [ __ ] this oh my God that's so annoying I just want to get my room to get out of here it's just it's [ __ ] annoying I'm getting agitated foreign okay let's go back up to the top foreign [ __ ] it's not very good are the bosses random too yeah it's gonna be a random boss foreign foreign I feel like I should get more runes for that I feel like 100 like that's some bull [ __ ] [ __ ] that I only got like how how many for that 300 yeah right a bunch of horseshit that is man alrighty it is time foreign thank you yeah we're gonna get more health all righty boys it's time foul tarnished in search of the Elder ring emboldened by the flame of ambition why is he holding a hammer I'll get the fouled what the [ __ ] no no no no no oh are you [ __ ] kidding me I I was fine I'll get it I'll get him this time this guy's easier foreign he's trapped in here with me it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter I heal I heal I heal I heal I wait what everything's just [ __ ] fight are you [ __ ] kidding me stick [ __ ] roll that no way stay away I roll I rolled man [ __ ] why can't he just roll off the edge foreign [ __ ] where the [ __ ] are you where he be at there he did he a dead ass he a dead ass he 100 dead ass there it is get the [ __ ] out of here suck a dick that's how it's done that's how I was [ __ ] done right there boys 12 000 for that look at that that's how it's done oh my God of all the bosses man yeah of all the [ __ ] bosses I need to go back over to the round table hold and buy stuff best case scenario to be honest I mean realistically like it wasn't really that hard of a boss like I I don't think that uh that boss is is very bad you're out okay so I guess we should just upgrade this again dude I feel like this weapon sucks like it does suck so it it just it sucks big fat dicks and I can't get us I don't have a somber three foreign thousand dollars I just don't think I should do that when am I going to be able to open this [ __ ] door because I want to use the um I want to be able to use the boss items after God dick okay all right Rooney all right we're gonna buy a golden seed and I could buy the Stargazer heirloom let's buy this and then we'll buy this and we're gonna buy we can buy two sacred tiers and then we can also buy a golden seed okay we spent all listen I know it might sound bad that I spent all of that but I actually think it's the right decision because now all I need to do is I travel back over to here yeah huge dick that Stargazer Talisman the [ __ ] no it's not it's five [ __ ] intelligence do you know how many that is it's a lot watch now we fight him and we easily win foreign foreign [ __ ] dick sucking mom foreign dumb ass [ __ ] I can't [ __ ] oh my God [ __ ] tree in fact that's right that's right okay we're gonna go over this one [Music] about to get out do the dragon now I still don't think I have enough damage due to the dragon easily the one thing I wish they would add into this game or they would have added uh is uh like how you could do insecuro you could drop down and stab something I thought that was really cool that was so [ __ ] stupid what the [ __ ] was this I just got gang banged like I just walked in and I just got [ __ ] in the ass no Health spots either yeah it doesn't matter hmm not even math not even that it's whatever let's try to cut out some of the mobs in the area oh okay foreign oh wow that's gonna kill me for sure no okay I love how they just hold their swings for like [ __ ] five minutes so cool thank you wow wow how [ __ ] fun a mob with literally zero down time thank you it's [ __ ] annoying man Jesus Christ hate this [ __ ] [ __ ] okay foreign [ __ ] dog Jesus [ __ ] Christ foreign please just not just fight one mob foreign I really wish I could get a better spell I feel like my spell is just so bad right now and there's like nothing I can do about it except for just look around more zerk mode yeah it was just [ __ ] annoying I mean like that that that's fine I feel like I can't roll out of attacks in this mode like in this randomizer thing I feel like I just like I'm getting I get knocked down and then they just immediately hit me again whereas like usually that doesn't happen I don't know why that is or is this annoying [ __ ] monkey foreign foreign how the [ __ ] did I do that foreign foreign oh [ __ ] man rotten staff huh okay foreign [ __ ] [Music] oh my God these things are annoying yeah I know I hate those [ __ ] things yeah I know it's just so annoying right and staff equals big dick bill yeah let me see what that even does can I get to uh can I get to a place in time I don't know if I can I think I'm [ __ ] no I should be fine didn't loot yeah I know because I I have freaking out oh my God respawn here let me see you could I just got I'm just I'm mad I'm just I'm agitated right now I don't do well whenever I I get like annoyed like as soon as I get mad at something I I might no longer a normal thinking person frustrated because I can't really turn it off okay let me Focus here I and I I've always I've tried really hard to like figure out a way to like turn that off but I just I literally can't like I've never found a solution that I like freaking stop getting like irrationally mad like video games I wish I could it's like a huge debuff smithing 3 actually need those okay let's try to just focus and get back to where we're at this with the two another rotten staff yeah foreign how do I determine if something is good like I don't even know foreign okay what's this dagger Talisman I don't really need that unfortunately okay whatever smithing five wow foreign holy [ __ ] I'm getting a lot of stuff now make the staff stronger than what you're using yeah I know what you're talking about I can't see anything oh man [ __ ] Christ [Music] behind I oh yeah let me just get that right now thank you nice man what the [ __ ] God [ __ ] damn it oh my God that's so [ __ ] tired it's just like I I can't even [ __ ] oh my God I'm just I'm getting so mad if I had seen this thing earlier foreign Jesus does it ever stop attacking holy [ __ ] man foreign to attack it Todd this [ __ ] mob sucks foreign okay uh did I miss anything else here no I didn't I can just leave holy [ __ ] okay so I do have to go up this way I wish I'd known not going down there just give me the boss I I I don't know where I'm going with this foreign foreign [Music] thank you [ __ ] dog [ __ ] Mouse man I'm trying to like scroll through my abilities and it doesn't let me it's like it'll like go go past one of them and then go to the next one it's just so annoying [ __ ] foreign [Music] foreign foreign foreign [Music] thank you foreign [Music] foreign even if I used magic I thought about that [Music] foreign they can do Madness I didn't even know that foreign okay large Club just what we need all right let's do it sounds like I can't hello come on bro I [ __ ] hate this [ __ ] I just want to have like one one mob that I can fight rather than like two or three okay let's go I hate I hate these like oh it's like it's a very small room and it's like she I I can barely just see what the [ __ ] is going on because the second that I go in there I can't see God [ __ ] damn it man I'm I'm almost done I'm almost done man I'm so [ __ ] mad Jesus Christ [Music] with a Spell vendor at starting area I can't I don't know where the Spell vendor is [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] foreign give it like one or two more tries and I think I'm just done foreign [Music] foreign foreign God bro I'm all right I'll do I'll give it one more I'll give it one more and if I don't get it I'm just gonna I'm gonna just quit this is just so annoying I'm like actually molding like I'm I'm at the point where I'm like not like I I can tell like I'm just I I'm I'm like not I I can't think anymore like I'll get so mad and then I just I can't like think clearly [Music] I wish I could do something I don't know what I can do about it like I just I I can't stop like getting irrationally tilted at games [Music] foreign it's just like I I [ __ ] it's I'm not even I I [ __ ] I [ __ ] how because I'm scrolling and I scroll over it like I I [ __ ] I would have been able to heal but I didn't heal because I I scrolled over the heel that's why I hate playing [ __ ] like these uh like you have to heal and you have magic builds because I I hate swapping my [ __ ] around man I I'm so [ __ ] mad [ __ ] man [Music] thank you oh my God I don't know why I didn't have that on earlier foreign hey [ __ ] God I'm so mad I'm so mad I'm so mad I just I should just quit right now I should just quit but I'm not gonna quit because I'm so [ __ ] mad oh my God it's just like [Music] foreign foreign Jesus oh I'm just getting so [ __ ] mad oh oh oh [Music] you barely even see the attacks from the like the the girl with the whips like you can barely even see what she's doing like both of the mobs are like like the the texture the terrain of the ground obscures their attack the most dumb [ __ ] thing I've ever seen oh my God bro I'm getting so [ __ ] oh my God basically an RNG weapon yeah fight yes I know it is oh [Music] it's like I don't I don't really know what to do like I don't know foreign [ __ ] foreign I need to stop I have to stop I'm not gonna stop though like I I have to I should stop this is the most unhealthy [ __ ] that I do I should have stopped absolutely I should stop a hundred percent I should stop thank you [Music] oh my God [Music] foreign foreign [Music] no I I can't I can't do it that way I I can't I can't do it with one-hander because if I block the attacks I'm just gonna run out of stamina and it doesn't actually like Parry them [Music] true all right this is actually the last one you know like this is not healthy there's like literally nothing that I'm doing with this and I'm actually done after this [Music] [Music] foreign foreign foreign that's so close I'm gonna do it again thank you [Music] foreign foreign foreign [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [ __ ] oh my [ __ ] god why [Music] foreign foreign foreign [Music] foreign foreign foreign too much adrenaline I couldn't hit the button at the right time I just uh [ __ ] I got too stressed out the fight went on too long I just [ __ ] lost my cool and I just didn't roll I no I'm not going to use I'm not going to use the Spells at all because I can't swap between spells and the weapon during the fight because I don't have enough time to just like pause and kind of like do that foreign foreign oh my God we're all like don't double swing whenever I jump it won't I will always do it because I'll be stressed out so much I'll just hit the button twice because my hands will just do it twice like that's just what's going to happen it's about taking your time no what I have to do is I have to I have to separate her from the mob so the mob has three different attacks it has a basic melee attack actually Four where it charges after you so the worst case scenario is for the big thing to be in the middle because if the big thing is in the middle then it can hit me from any area but if it's in in like a mid-range area then it can't do that so what I want to do is I want to just took me a [ __ ] knife foreign foreign foreign foreign I'm not going to stop until I beat it I will not stop until I beat this I've already decided I I can't I can't I'm actually so mad I can't stop [Music] foreign at least now that that's out of my head you're not gonna worry about the souls I'm just not I'm just gonna kill the boss I I couldn't see it I I [ __ ] I'm just God [Music] [Music] foreign foreign [Music] foreign that fast yeah like he just instantly recovered after the spinning attack and then just immediately started attacking me again it was like one second like stores have lost no no good I just the problem is like I get anxious like I have really really bad anxiety and so like whenever the anxiety gets enough like my uh I guess we'd say like my like rational like plan going into it is like deleted [Music] foreign foreign yeah I just got hit by the stun lock and then I'm just like [ __ ] stunned that I I can't move and that's it I'm dead too greedy I have to end the fight fast why because it think of it as like a poison barn but instead of being poisoned it's like just adrenaline and once it gets to a certain point in my head I lose so I have to play to the point to where that doesn't happen does that make sense [Music] so the fast right in the fight the faster that doesn't happen that's why I have to do the fight fast yeah I got that too yeah like I just I can't deal with that as fast as [ __ ] yeah I know and I'm St I'm like stuck in this like weird [ __ ] like I'm like taking damage but I'm not and so I can't move my character I can't roll I'm just like stun locked constantly and then I die and I don't want any help or any advice from anybody on how to do anything like I'm going to do it my way and that's it if that's not [ __ ] obvious by now I don't know when it will be like I do not want anybody's advice [Music] foreign foreign bank is annoying I hate I [ __ ] hate run backs and games they're just a waste of [ __ ] time foreign thank you foreign foreign foreign foreign

Channel: Asmongold TV

Views: 769,848

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, world of warcraft, asmongold funny, asmongold tv, asmongold channel, ZackRawrr

Id: w3B-1I9XsdU

Length: 297min 56sec (17876 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 27 2023