8 Ways to Not Overreact and Remain Unbothered

i'm sharing eight ways to not overreact and remain unbothered in today's video hello everyone jennifer here and welcome to the daily connoisseur i'm hiding in my bathroom and you know these videos are always the best ones today i'm sharing eight ways to not overreact and remain unbothered this video is brought to us by the chic society which is my private membership group here on youtube and i do one vodcast every friday and i go live once a month either on youtube or we do a zoom call and we have so much fun in the chic society it's really a great place to be and membership is only 1.99 a month i also have two upper tiers you are seeing one of the upper tiers down below these are the sheet connoisseurs and at the end of the video i'm going to give the uppermost tier the elegant connoisseur mentions and many of them have businesses or their high patrons of the channel and i just want to thank the chic society for supporting us here on the daily connoisseur okay so the motto of this channel is keep calm and remain classy why do i say that at the end of every single one of my videos it's just to remind ourselves that we are community here we have each other we need to remain calm because the things that are important to us in life which are elegance dignity classiness all of that is really going away in our modern day and it's dying out so we need to remind ourselves that that we are here there is a group of us of people who are interested in this and that we need to keep calm and remain classy why do i say remain because you are a classy person i know you're not supposed to say classy people say you shouldn't say classy but there's no other way to really put it classy elegant that is you and you may not feel that way about yourself but if you're watching my channel you're interested in that if this video was recommended to you on youtube the algorithm is trying to tell you something okay so we're going to talk about not over reacting today i am going to quote a lot of different sources in this video celebrities famous quotes authors i'm quoting from various religions and proverbs around the world let's take it all in we can learn from everything okay these are all of my personal experiences so i've come a long way with overreacting and i'm not saying that i don't do it anymore because i do but i i used to be a very kind of hot-headed reactive person thankfully i'm also an introvert and rather shy so a lot of the time when i would have anger i still wouldn't say anything about it to other people i would keep it in and just have rage boiling inside of me for example so that's actually a good thing because as we're going to learn here we need to really control our tongue but this is from my personal experience i've gotten so much better about this not only in my personal life but just when things happen out in the real world like in traffic and stuff like that i remain unbothered i do tend to overreact about certain issues and i'll talk about those later on in the video but let's jump into number one so this is my first tip when you are angry and prone to overreacting pause do nothing and see what happens okay and i have a quote here from lori destinay who says practice the pause pause before judging pause before assuming pause before accusing pause whenever you're about to react harshly and you'll avoid doing and saying things you'll later regret so that was laurie dashinay from little buddha who said that so pause okay this is huge pause and you're gonna see this all throughout this video the trouble with overreacting is it's usually a trigger we get triggered and then we have this hot-headed reaction and we don't think we don't pause and we immediately say something or do something that we regret now elegant people have control of themselves and their emotions they are very steady grounded people and i think that's why elegant people naturally make others feel comfortable because elegant people are comforting to be around you don't feel like they're gonna flip a switch and just suddenly go crazy on you you know so pause that's my number one tip my number two tip is to analyze how you react to situations because awareness is truly the first step you cannot change your behavior if you're not even aware of it okay so you really have to notice a pattern to your overreactions do you tend to get over heated or overreact to certain people or certain situations you need to know your trigger points okay this is really big i have a few quotes here the novelist ellen glasgow said what happens is not as important as how you react to what happens okay so you have to become conscious about how you react to these situations i have another quote here from epitectus i can never say his name epitetus said it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters that's essentially the same quote so of course what happens to us is important but we can't control what happens to us you cannot control if some jerk cuts you off on the freeway that is totally out of your control you can control how you react to it and this is where elegance really comes in and self-control i'll never forget this uh you know i live in california and the roads are crazy here and people are you know i love my state but sometimes people can be a little uh entitled so i'll never forget this i was in santa monica pulling off on the freeway to go home and i'm on the off ramp and this man uh in a uh convertible like a real super expensive car don't know what kind in a convertible the top down and he was an older middle-aged man and he had like a girl who looked like she was 19 in the passenger seat he cut me off that i almost get off the freeway right and so as a reaction i honked my horn now that's perfectly acceptable okay because this is like a it's not like i'm like honking my horn trying to get i just as a natural reaction honked my horn the man proceeded he proceeded to to flip me the bird he had the middle finger up in front of me and i'm like sitting there behind him the whole red light he did this and i remember i experienced a level of rage that is like heretofore been not seen okay i was so angry i didn't do anything about it and i didn't return the gesture or anything like that i didn't even yell at him i'm just sitting there like feeling so much rage that this person is such a jerk okay so those types of things happen to us all the time but we should not react don't stoop to this guy's level okay know your triggers so if you tend to be triggered in traffic just be conscious of that if you tend to be triggered by a certain family member be aware of that and when you're around them you can be aware of your reactions and let's go back to the first tip you can pause tip number three use other people's negativity toward you as a motivating tool this is something that i do it's one of my secrets so i obviously as a content creator and as an author i i have a lot of energy coming toward me and i mentioned this in my 10-year update video that for the past 10 years on youtube every single day of my life i have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of comments coming toward me some of them are questions some of them are praise some of them are criticisms and i have learned to put a block up with that but i have specifically used the negative feedback and the criticisms and the people who are just downright mean and trying to trigger me i use those people to better myself that that is what i do and so i do get specific haters who are like super like hating against me and i do not let that bother me i am amused by it and i use those people as motivation to be more successful so you can you can use that as fuel to drive you toward your goals even further and that's one way to look at it tip number four this is critical never respond to someone when you are angry i have four chinese proverbs here three or four and i'm going to read them to you right now these are really good anger is always more harmful than the insult that caused it so think about that anger is more harmful to you than the insult that the other person gave you because you're having all these negative emotions you're getting all this anger and and it's natural you shouldn't stifle that it's okay like if somebody just completely insults you to feel angry but you need to decide what you're going to do with that anger and i want to go back to that poem i read in the latest chic assignment by roomie this being human is a guest house and he talked about how as humans we have these emotions that come to us every single day and we need to decide what we're going to do with them he says welcome those emotions because they're there to teach you something and i love that so yes you are going to feel anger it's i don't want you to be this void of nothing that feels nothing you're going to feel the anger that's okay you're human decide what you're going to do with it and welcome it it's like when i get the crazy hater comments i can decide to get all angry and up in arms and write back and that is just so pointless i decide what to do with the anger that i might feel from those comments i process it and i decide to use it as fuel for being better okay so anger is more harmful than the insult that caused it here's another chinese proverb never answer a letter while you are angry okay people don't really write letters anymore but i mean i wish they did but uh this could be like responding to somebody or writing an email or a text never write a letter or never answer a letter while you are angry you need to wait go back to tip one pause here's another one in the midst of great joy do not promise anyone anything in the midst of great anger do not answer anyone's letter so that's kind of a take on the previous one and here is the final chinese proverb if you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow be patient in your anger allow that anger to pass through you do what you need to do with it give it to god do what you need to do but um allow it patience don't react okay tip number five is to gain control of your tongue gain control of it proverbs 21 23 says whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles can you keep your mouth and your tongue what does that mean it doesn't mean physically it means can you control what you say can you bite your tongue can you not be so hot-headed you keep your soul from troubles that's a big deal not just your life not just your mind your soul will be kept from troubles if you can control your tongue so that's really huge so watch what you say if you tend to be triggered and let's say you're the type of person who will swear at somebody or just say something just really just to cut the other person and get them back notice that you can save your soul from troubles if you control your tongue tip number six is to not neglect yourself so oftentimes we can be really cranky or sensitive if we are lacking sleep we're not eating healthy we're not getting exercise we're not taking necessary time for ourselves so i love to take afternoon tea for myself every day it's something i do every day i usually have a book and a treat and a cup of tea everyone needs to leave me alone unless they want to join me and be pleasant okay but but nobody can ask me for things and this is my time to recharge uh that i like to take nice hot baths with lots of oils and just things like that that that recharge me i try to get more sleep now that type of thing take care of myself drink water if you're neglecting yourself you're running on empty you're going to be more snappy and you are going to get into more altercations with people and so you have to really look at that and don't neglect yourself tip number seven is to look at the big picture okay here's where i come in so i'm pretty good about remaining unbothered and remaining uh calm and not overreacting with my personal life and even i've come a long way with my children they're the ones who really can trigger me if it's like been a long day and the straw is about to break the camel's back i might just lose it you know what i mean or even you know with my husband or with my family i've really come a long way and i'm pretty calm and i don't really have overreactions with them anymore which is great also in public with strangers i mean i don't overreact to strangers but where i do overreact is with uh the way society is going okay and you know this on this channel i get really passionate about things i like to encourage people to not let themselves go not only physically looks wise but also their mind and so i am a big critique of modern culture popular culture and i have videos in the past where i critique various things and uh those have gotten a lot of attention now i've learned a lot from that because i realize that that is my own form of over reacting now it doesn't mean that you don't carry the same convictions because i still do i carry all of my convictions that i've always had but i have analyzed things i look at the big picture of life and i'm trying to calm down a little bit more and just show my vision of the world to people here on my channel that's all i can do i cannot change other people i can't change the vulgarity that is seeping into popular culture all i can do is provide an alternative here on my channel and as i grow older and hopefully wiser i am now seeing that so i have had videos in the past on my channel where i have definitely overreacted to things and something gave me a light bulb moment when i was interviewing richard thompson ford who wrote dress codes that book is great because it uh shared the fashion history history of fashion and how it's changed and come and gone and molded into different areas and it helped me not be so judgmental and reactionary toward what i see today now do i really like what i see today no i mean i don't i don't like the way things are going where people just don't care about their appearance anymore and and seem to be more sloppy and it's seeping into everything so i still have that fire in me for that but uh i think i guess i have more compassion toward it so look at the big picture when you're getting worked up over something whether it's something political or societal or even in your own household just look at the big picture look at history um where have we come from what is the good in the situation that you can find and that helps me now to not overreact and finally tip number eight is the elephant in the room that i really need to address because it's the thing that people say you shouldn't talk about in polite society um but it's the one thing that i have to share here because it's a major part of my own journey with not overreacting and that is my prayer life and my faith life and i know that there are people from all different walks of faith on this channel so uh we have everybody here and listen you are all welcome i'm just sharing with you that honestly the first thing i do when i met with a confrontation something serious that really bothers me really disturbs my soul is i pray i give it to god i can't tell you how many times i have been in my closet right there with the door closed on my knees face in the ground literally crying and praying to god i just have to tell you that i do that i do that and when i do that i get the peace that passes understanding every single time i it's amazing so this is individual for everybody it depends on what you believe and and how you cope with things but to go my advice for you is to go there and don't be ashamed of that and you know you don't need to do this in front of other people i like to be private about that type of thing so um just however you can communicate with god or whatever you do to help you get through really difficult situations it's better to take it there first than to get hot-headed and overreact you don't ever want to say things that you will regret later that you wish you never said you cannot take your words back and it is very easy to ruin a relationship forever when you say something that you don't mean um or that is supercharged so those are my tips for not overreacting and remaining unbothered this is not a comprehensive list i could go off on any of these subjects a little bit more if you like or even expand on it please let me know in the comment section down below but i believe that these lessons and elegance are really important for both ladies and gentlemen that we need to work on ourselves i'm not perfect i mean you know i'm not perfect okay and i know that you're not either and but we have this community here where we can help each other and that is very important i would like to take a moment now to thank the elegant connoisseurs for being such great supporters of the channel so here are their mentions amanda dykes author of award-winning fiction written to light the dark and lift your heart amy floor from azalea spa goods handcrafted aromatherapy body oils brandy still silhouette artist keeping alive the art of silhouette portraiture that dates back from 1700s france jenny williams from carrot top paper shop offering colorful literary wall art and book themed gifts to inspire every woman to be the heroine of her life elaine brisbah is a certified nutritionist and women's weight loss coach download her elegant eating handbook simple and effective strategies for permanently living at your natural weight to get started ashley buffa from freedom moms learning to treat chores as a family team is the key to creating and maintaining a tidy organized home and it's attainable through the freedom mom's smart kid chore system carrie van hooser author of tis the season for poetry through the year with poems and activities for children and their families inspired by nikki youtube channel and etsy shop nikki creates beautiful aprons stationery and so much more julie coleman from my confident closet julie helps you build a seasonal wardrobe that fits your style and budget lindy sellers health beauty and lifestyle for women 40 plus nicole brignol founder of lovely bits organic intimate care for women rosenda valenzuela from little pink casa youtube channel inspiring ladies in vintage homemaking elegant lifestyle feminine wardrobe and romantic home mrs shockley from a home for elegance dress boutique visit her online at a homeforelegance.com sarah morgan wellness sarah is a wellness coach for women specializing in helping busy women especially moms find manageable ways to meet their own health and wellness needs without the guilt learn more at sarahmorganwellness.com tina hugol from outschool tina teaches history through biographies for ages 8 to 16. michelle rohr from the secret owl society digital planners and e-courses on how to create passive income from your own planning business learn more at secretalsociety.org alan's scottish shortbread uses their scottish grandmother's heirloom family recipe to bake small batches of buttery shortbread that pairs perfectly with a pot of tea learn more at allenscottishshortbread.com stern brothers jewelry is a family owned custom designed jewelry store specializing in making heirloom jewelry into something special for the next generation to cherish something to cherish beautiful and meaningful products that promote the celebration and gift of life based off of the watercolor designs of artist cherish flighter v-cell victoria your jafra beauty consultant featuring beautiful products such as royal jelly skincare rituals royal almond body oils and lotions as well as sumptuous color special offers every month and thank you to the following catherine ray carly tom from living in loveliness carolyn haydew guy blaise isabel clebeau janice leitner jen carlson jet rally heron gina k henry jenny candelaria juliet keeler laban linda eckloff marie cottle maria conder melissa m and prudently at home thank you so much again to the sheik society for supporting the daily connoisseur if you would like to join the chic society i will leave the information down below or you could hit the join button thank you so much for joining me here on the daily connoisseur keep calm and remain classy and i will see you in my next video [Music] goodbye [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] you

Channel: the Daily Connoisseur

Views: 122,597

Rating: 4.948863 out of 5

Keywords: how to be unbothered, how to stop caring what others think, how to be less sensitive, how to find passion, how to be more confident, self improvement, elegance, elegant, classy, Madame Chic, Jenifer L. Scott, Daily Connoisseur, finishing school etiquette lessons, etiquette, manners, remain unbothered, Not overreact, elegant behavior, how to act, anger control, How to deal with toxic people

Id: CeFqBAnge7w

Length: 23min 16sec (1396 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 09 2021