Have You Lost Your Passion as an Adult?

this video is brought to you by skillshare the first 1000 of my subscribers to click on the link below will get a free trial of skillshare premium more on them at the end of the video okay i'm hiding in the bathroom and you know when i do that it's going to be a good video [Music] hi everyone jennifer here and welcome back to the daily connoisseur so yes i am hiding in my bathroom the house is full and loud and i just wanted to come in here and talk to you about something i have been wanting to talk about on the channel for a while and that is about how we as adults tend to lose ourselves and how we can reclaim our passions our interests and our identities now i'm filming this in front of my mirror and it's a very cloudy kind of windy day so the light is going to go in and out i apologize in advance the exposure is probably going to be really off like here comes the sun right now do you see that so please bear with me there um but okay so i've been wanting to write about this a long time i have some notes that are highly illegible here in my notebook and initially i was going to only talk to parents about this because i think parents tend to lose themselves a lot as well but this really is an adult thing when life gets in the way you might be busy with a really demanding career or work or family life that is just taking up everything and how do you reclaim your identity how do you find those passions that you used to have maybe before you got so busy as an adult okay i also want to quickly say that i know that people who regularly watch my channel will say what are you wearing this is something new for spring so i'm going to be shooting the spring summer 10 item wardrobe at the end of april so you can look forward to that but right now this is a jumpsuit and it's super cute i can't wait till you see it okay we're going to talk about style and appearance later on in the video so here are my notes and i always have time stamps down below or library cards so you can always know where you are and skip to the part that interests you first we're going to talk about passions next we're going to talk about hobbies we're going to talk about signs of giving up and appearance and then finally i'm going to wrap it up with solutions and i also want to thank skillshare for sponsoring this video today so i'm going to talk to you about them at the end of the video as well okay so let's start off with passions what were your passions before life took over and that could be before you started working full-time or started working three jobs or even got married or had children what were your passions okay i want you to really dig deep and think about this most people will easily just be able to tell you well i used to love traveling i used to love i don't know going to nice restaurants discovering new cuisines i used to love writing i used to love playing in a band i used to love books or i had this kind of obscure hobby which we're going to get to in a second so the thing is what were your passions and have you lost passion for that very thing have you lost your passion or is it still there like a little kind of a flame that's flickering you know but it really needs to be ignited again okay so the first thing is to ask ourselves what were our passions so um my passions and just to kind of back up especially if you don't know who i am i am a mother of four children so we have four children and we homeschool and i work and everything and i'm really fortunate that my work coincides with my passions so i haven't fully let my passions go i'm passionate about writing i'm passionate about creating things so i get to incorporate that in my work but if i didn't do that i might feel really at a loss like i kind of lost myself there for a while because especially as parents it's so time consuming being a parent and you really sacrifice so much of your life that you kind of give up on your passions and i'm sure that this will resonate with people so if it does leave us a comment down below so my passions before i became super busy as a parent um were definitely playing the piano i used to love going to art museums and out to performances like the theater the ballet all of that type of thing oh my gosh the sun is just going back and forth behind the clouds so um i love mystery novels i used to love reading mystery novels constantly writing mystery novels so i wrote a mystery novel that's never been published um of course writing is my passion and all of that so those are my passions so let's talk about hobbies what were your hobbies before you became a really busy kind of stressed out adult and you know it's good to think about that because those are probably directly linked to your passions so hobbies could be playing the piano reading poetry reading books um writing writing poetry i'm just thinking of the things i like to do but of course there's all sorts of people watching this video men women and what were your hobbies okay maybe you like to go hiking or i'm not sure you know just what did you love to do and and are you able to do it now when was the last time you indulged in one of your hobbies okay the next point on my list here is signs of giving up now if you're watching this video you probably already know if you have kind of given up on your passions and your hobbies and your interests and it could be that you've come to a crossroads a tipping point in your life or you think you know i'm really i'm really burning out on this i am a human with interests and passions and loves and i want to explore that i don't just want to be mom i don't just want to be a person doing this job or that job or whatever it is that you do right now the other day i was having dinner with my family and one of my children kept asking me uh questions related to schedule and the week and what we were doing and what they could do and things like that she meant no harm but i felt like it triggered something in me where i had a little talk with her afterwards i said you know i am a person too i'm a human i know i'm your mom and i'm like the wealth of knowledge for the family schedule but i just want to talk about life i want to have a normal conversation with people where they're not trying to get something out of me do you know what i mean um where i want to be seen as a another human with interests and passions and things like that and so um she totally understood and i just said you know it's like when you talk to me talk to me about more than just our schedule and what i can give you and that type of thing right so i think um these are the signs of having given up having lost yourself the first one would be a lack of interest in the things that you used to love resignation like you just give up you resign um i can't read my own writing oh lack of wanting to learn wanting to grow that's a big one and the final thing is complacency so signs of giving up maybe would be that instead of pursuing your hobbies and your passions instead you veg out and binge watch television for a really long time which i know is really prevalent in our culture i do think that is a sign of just giving up also signs of giving up can manifest in your appearance how you present yourself to the world which is uh the next thing i want to talk about so appearance have you let yourself go what is your style that's kind of a question that goes in line with what is your passion what do you love to do in life and everybody does have a style i know some people might be watching this and think i'm not really not that type of fashiony artsy person i don't have a style well you probably do have a style and if you've never discovered it maybe it's time to discover it but um signs of giving up in your everyday life with your wardrobe might look like just if you're a man just wearing athletic shorts and an old wrinkled t-shirt every day your sweatpants for women it could be don't hate me but it could be every day you're in your yoga pants and your t-shirt and that's how you present yourself every day with a messy bun and everything okay i'm not saying that there's not room for that type of self-presentation but what i'm saying is that if you're doing this every day and you don't wear day clothes why why is that is it because you're exhausted because you don't even know where to begin with how to express yourself well if you're having trouble with that you could always check out the 10 item wardrobe ten item wardrobe is something anybody can do it's free and it really helps you to look presentable every day and discover your true style so i'll leave my tedx talk on the 10 item wardrobe down below and also my madame chic books which really help to solidify the concept so that's with appearance and usually if you have lost yourself you've not only lost your passions and your hobbies and everything but you've also let your appearance go slightly too i find so okay those are the major points now here's the good news because i was thinking about how i can offer solutions to people and by the way the only reason why i'm talking to you about this is because i have personally experienced all of this maybe less on the appearance because that has to do with my work but there have definitely been times when i've been in the thick of it with children and babies and i'm just exhausted and i work and we run like a really tight budget those times of my life i definitely have kind of given up a little bit you know what i mean but i'm slowly finding myself again and so i wrote down some solutions here uh to help you to find yourself again okay the number one thing that i think is important here is to cut out the things that are making you complacent so for most people this is going to be media either watching television like binge watching tv or going on the internet too much going on your social media too much i think those are the two things that are making people complacent if you used to love to read books or write things or create things or do things now you will probably find if you don't do them anymore it's not that you don't have as much time but your leisure time the time that you do have to spend maybe is sitting in front of the television watching a really good show for four hours straight so that was something that was really a problem for me i was watching so much television it was ridiculous so i kind of went the extreme because i'm a very extreme person so i stopped watching it all together but i'm not saying that you shouldn't watch it and i'm not saying i'll never watch it again um if a really good show comes on i might one day if i have time sit down and watch it you know so but if you find that television is is a problem you know it's like in that book atomic habits by james clear make um your bad habit really hard to get to and make your good habit that you want to implement the path of least resistance so if you have a bad habit of watching too much television unplug the tv so that every time you have to watch it you have to recalibrate it right or if you have a problem spending all your time on facebook just watching what other people are doing log out of facebook and require yourself to enter your really complicated password every time you have to go on and over time you just will not be bothered to do it you know you won't do it because you just won't do it because you can't be bothered basically so those are some good ideas so make the good habit that you want to implement the path of least resistance if you want to read more set up a really nice reading nook put a book there and make time in your day to read instead of watching tv for an hour maybe read for at least 20 minutes right or 30 minutes and then slowly you'll start to do that more i love to play the piano and i went through a phase um well first of all when you have a baby it's hard because you don't want to wake the baby the baby's always sleeping and then i went through a phase where i would sit down at the piano to play and then my now toddler would come up and just bang the keys while i play and i got so frustrated like sometimes i just want to say you know mommy only has a few things in life can i please play this without you banging on the keys you know but i'm slowly in a place now where i can play and i'm able to reason with my toddler and he can respect that he shouldn't bang on the keys while i'm trying to play the piano so i do practice now for um like 20 minutes a day which for me is just life-giving very big so make uh a priority to do the hobby that you want to implement uh the passion that you want if you like to read poetry um you know put a book of poems in your bedroom and you know have some chocolate in there and close the door and and read it or write write get up early in the morning and write so implement these things that will allow you to do this again and parents we have to remember that our children are looking at us and we can't just be these working machines we have to express to them that we are people as well like i was saying with that illustration of us at the dinner table so you know you want your children to look at you and think oh you know daddy daddy loves working on i don't know tools or i don't know i'm making generalizations here daddy loves working on a bike or you know mommy loves writing mommy loves playing the piano whatever it is um they need to know that we are interesting people because we want them to grow up and be interesting people right okay so what else did i have here oh this is really good it's important to cultivate meaningful friendships as an adult um you might already have some really good friends and don't let those friendships go cultivate those friendships maintain your relationship with these people now another flip side to this is that you might have developed friendships just based on certain life circumstances and you might have outgrown them a lot of parents will find this like if your child's in preschool you just make friends with the other parents because they're in preschool too and then you know your children grow apart you don't have that much in common anymore so it might be time for you to find a good friendship and how do you make friends as an adult well i think it's important to have friends who have similar passions and interests to you so that you can actually talk to them about real things that enrich you maybe that you can't necessarily talk to your family about um this is a big one because sometimes with your family you get into you know the rut of you've you've said everything that needs to be said so sometimes it's good to find friends like this how do you find friends like this you could join a book club you could join a special interest group or a group of people who have similar interests to you i'm going to plug the chic society here that's the private membership group here on youtube you could always join that all of the ladies in there we have a lot in common so they have a lot of fun talking to each other but you know what i mean anything look at your local library see what groups meet there on a regular basis or even online groups or find a pen pal you know but it is important to have very meaningful friendships so i have a lot of friends but i only have very few close friends i mean really close friends and they know who they are and um it's so enriching to be able to talk to my friends and friendships are really important so don't let your friendships go and i finally want to close on this read more write more stretch yourself play that guitar play the piano do that passion learn to cook that cuisine learn that language and that's how you can try to find yourself again okay which is really important so i hope that you found this video useful i want to thank skillshare for sponsoring today's video and i want to tell you about them quickly before we close so skillshare offers thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people they have topics that include illustration design photography video freelancing and more they even have cooking and lifestyle classes i mean they're it's pretty amazing they have thousands of classes so i'm always taking their classes and i specifically take their classes to try to improve my youtube channel which i i feel that i really have so the one i'm taking this time is taught by matt bellassai and it's called going viral write film and make content people share so i've never gone viral on my channel so we'll see maybe i will now go viral now that i've taken this class so the biggest tip that i took away from it was to have a consistent theme or format with my videos which i definitely try to do but it's something that i'm working on streamlining myself so skillshare is less than ten dollars a month for an annual subscription and the first 1000 of my subscribers to click on the link below will get a free trial of skillshare premium so that you can explore your own creativity and that's another way that you can not lose yourself is just get interested in something again take a class that's huge and actually i want to say that when i decided in my late 20s to take that writing class with al with my writing teacher with the ellie writer's lab that completely changed my life it was incredible to go to a class and um sit there with other writers and to work i mean it just changed my life obviously because then i became a an author so thank you so much for watching today i hope this video sparked something in you if it did i would love to hear from you thank you to skillshare for sponsoring today's video if you click on the link below again the first thousand of my subscribers will get a free trial to skillshare premium thanks so much everyone keep calm and remain classy and i will see you in my next video bye [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] you

Channel: the Daily Connoisseur

Views: 62,425

Keywords: find your passion, adulting, adult life, stress management, self improvement, feeling lost in life, motivational video, how to get clarity, for people feeling behind in life, self help, feeling lost after breakup, how to get clarity in life, how to stop feeling behind in life, adult life skills, adult life hacks, self improvement journey, daily connoisseur, Jennifer L. Scott, Madame Chic, classy, elegant, chic, Etiquette

Id: pEFRzxHevcI

Length: 20min 12sec (1212 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 08 2021