- I'd be curious, has this ever
happened to you? You're like, I'm going to declutter my bedroom today. And you start going through your stuff
and you come across something and you're like, okay, these shoes
aren't that comfortable. They don't really fit that well. But I do have that one
outfit that I wear them with. And so I only wear them
like once or twice a year, but if I want to get dressed up for fall, these are really the only shoes I
wear with that one pair of pants. And before you know it, it's like, you're trying to build a case for keeping
the item when your hope was actually to declutter a bunch of stuff. And then you go on to the next
item and you're like, well, the sleeves are kind of big. It makes
me look kind of disproportionate. But if I hold my arms just right, or if I only use it in Zoom
calls, then I like it. So, I mean, it still has a tag on.
I haven't actually ever worn it. But I should probably
keep it just in case. And so today I want to talk about this
idea, if you're a chronic overthinker. If decluttering is very difficult for you, because these aren't just
cut and dry decisions. And so there's been a lot of times where
I've felt bad because someone will say, I have a really hard
time parting with stuff. I think of all the ways I could use it. Everything feels difficult to
declutter and to work through. And a lot of times I'm just like, I don't know what to say
to that because to me, I don't understand keeping a pair of shoes
that you would only wear for one very specific occasion, that may or may not happen in the next
year or something like that. I'm like, they're not comfortable. You don't wear
them all the time. Catch you later. I don't have time for that. And so I was watching a Facebook Live
with Cas from Clutterbug the other day. And she said, if you are
a chronic overthinker, then you need rules. And I was like,
that is so good. And for some of us, we fall somewhere in between. Some things
have been fairly easy to declutter, but then we get to kids' toys or
sentimental stuff and it's all over. And so let's talk through a few rules
that we could put in place that are going to help make these decisions easier.
And so we've heard of the one year rule, and that's if you haven't
used it in the past year, and if you're not for sure going
to use it in the next year, then we agree to let it go. And the idea that the past is
the best predictor of the future. If I didn't have time at
yesterday to use this stuff, most likely I'm not going
to have time tomorrow. And often we glamorize the future
thinking, oh, in this next season, I'm going to have all this time. And it
never happens, right? It never happens. And with all of these rules
that I'm going to talk about, it can be very helpful to write these
rules out or print them out and have them with you. Like literally have it
with you when you're decluttering. Because often if you are an analyzer,
you're also a rule follower. So saying these are the decluttering rules
that I am giving myself and that I am going to follow. Another one that can
be really helpful is the 20/20 rule. Again, you've heard of this, but if you can replace it for
$20 and in 20 minutes and I am not using it, then I'm
going to agree to let it go. And I didn't understand this
rule in the past. I thought, $20? That's actually a lot of money. I'm like, why would I donate something only
to have to buy it again for $20? But what I didn't understand is
what The Minimalists say about it, is that once you declutter it, you're
not going to buy it again. Okay, so let's put the $20 rule
to the test. So again, if we're not using it and
we can replace it for $20, we are going to stick to this rule. So this is a basket with stuff left
over from our laundry room makeover. So we had this wire basket that could
hang under the shelving in there. I didn't want to get rid of it right
away cause I wasn't sure if we would miss having it. We have not missed
it. It costs, I think like $8.99. So it is well under $20. I
could replace it in 20 minutes. So this is going to go. We also had these extra
canvas bins. And again, they're very versatile, so I'm like, well, would we use them in the camper or
somewhere else? But they are all well, these were $5 each. These, I think,
were $10 each. So they're all under $20. But it still has the potential to
hang me up because they're nice. They're storage containers. And I start
to think, well, where could we use it? And my temptation is just to
go put it in the basement, so in case we would need
it, then we would have it. But I have to remember that this is
still inventory that I have to manage. And I'm trying to get my home to a
point where it is super simple to manage, like so easy. And so
that means for me right now, in this season of life that I'm in, I don't hang on to things that
are under $20 for someday, because it's still something
that I have to manage. So I'm going to let all four of these go. This was a clock we had gotten for
the camper. Well, the camper we sold. And then I found a different
one I liked even better, but I didn't get this returned to
Amazon in time. Isn't that frustrating? I know there's ways around it, but that
takes extra time. So it was a $15 clock. I have no use for it in our current
camper. And so I'm going to let this go. This was our old laundry basket. Again,
I didn't know if we would miss it, if we could potentially use it in the
camper, but there's no spot for it. So I'm like, that's not an option and I'm not going
to load up the camper now with all this extra stuff. So I'm going to let that go. And these were just some extra food
storage containers that came with a little cooler the kids got for their lunches.
But they're not, I can already tell, they're not good quality, like
they don't seal really well. So I don't want to replace any of my
current containers. They're under $5. They could be replaced
really easily. Again, it feels weird getting rid of
storage stuff and organization stuff, because for so long, we all thought that's
just what we needed to get organized. I'm going to let this whole
basket of perfectly good stuff go, knowing that if any single piece I needed
again, I could replace for under $20, but trusting that I'm going to have
no occasion to replace any of this. And once it's gone, I'm
not going to miss it, but what's even better is that I'm
going to have this spot on our bedroom floor cleared up again. And this has
been nagging at me since we did that, like two months ago. I don't have
anything now in our bedroom nagging at me. And that peace of mind is worth so
much more than $20 or whatever the total is of all this stuff. This
right here is priceless to me. Now, something that we would never,
ever declutter is our Helix mattress. And this video is sponsored by Helix.
We are so grateful for their support. But we're also thankful because Tom
and I sleep awesome on this mattress. And we could not say that
about our last two mattresses. And we just got to the point where we
were just so frustrated trying to find the right mattress. And so then we
found Helix and it was so simple, to the point where you might,
especially you analyzers, you might be a little skeptical
because you're like, okay, I go online. I take the sleep quiz. It talks about
what firmness of mattress do you like? What sleep position are you normally in? So Tom and I are stomach
and side sleepers. And so it matched us
with the Helix Dusk Luxe. And it has been great. Tom and I
don't like super soft mattresses. We want it to be kind of firm,
but not too firm. So like, we're trying not to be picky,
but I feel like as we get older, we've actually become pretty
picky with our mattress. Like we go to hotels now, hotels that are known for having really
good mattresses, and we're like, oh man, we just can't wait to get
back home to our own mattress. And so we've had it for over a
year and we sleep so well on it. But you take the sleep quiz, it gets delivered to your door and
then it's very easy to set up and you get it on your bed, you watch
it inflate, which is kind of fun. And then you get to try
it out for 100 nights. And that's what makes us feel
good about sharing it with you, is that both that we've
had a great experience, but that you get to try it out for 100
nights to see if it's a good fit for you. If it's not, you just call them up and they take
care of everything of taking it back. But we just have to get a
good night's sleep. I mean, it's just too hard to operate the
next day and to make good decisions if you don't get a good night's
sleep. It just really wears on us. We have our link down
below, if you click on it, you can save up to $200 and get two
free pillows with your purchase. So thank you again, Helix,
for sponsoring this video. Okay, let's talk about another rule is, would I buy it again? I can't believe how many items
in our house that we've put very little thought into purchasing.
Like, I'll be like, oh, I'm scrolling on Instagram late at night. Or I see it at a garage sale or
a thrift store. And so I buy it. It wasn't too expensive and
I bring it into my house. And so I have put hardly any
thought or research into buying it. But then when it goes to decluttering
I'm like, oh, but I paid money for it. And I don't know, I might
use it in the future. And I kind of feel bad if I get rid of
it before I even use it. And it's like, it was an impulse buy. There was
no thought that went into it. And now I'm putting all this
thought into decluttering it? No, if I put hardly any
thought to buying it, then I shouldn't put hardly any
thought into getting rid of it. So would I buy it again? No, I
wouldn't. So I'm going to let it go. I'm not going to let it torment me
anymore. It's gone and I'm moving on. Okay, so like I said, I think it is super helpful to write
these rules out and have them with you wherever you're going to declutter. And I actually thought about making a
printable or click below and you can print it out. But I think there's actually
something really powerful about you writing it out in your own
handwriting and it kind of solidifies the rules as
you're writing it out. So picking out which rules really
resonate with you and using those. And especially if you're feeling at
all overwhelmed or frazzled right now, like most of us are, maybe just like
two rules that really work for you. Or let's not also overwhelm
ourselves with the number of rules. So just pick out two or three that
you really like. And then I also, at the bottom, I put my goal, which is
low inventory. And so that's optional. You can decide if you want to put a
goal, but I thought it's kind of good. It's helpful for me, if I get into
any tough decisions to be like, okay, remember, what's the ultimate goal here?
To get down to low inventory. So, okay. So we have our list of questions
and we have it with us. So now we could go through a few
examples quick. So if we're like, okay, beach towel. This is still
getting used currently. It's just supposed to go in the basement
for storage because sadly in Minnesota we don't have beach weather anymore.
So this is just not in the right place. So I don't have to use the rules on this.
I just need to go put this away quick. Oh, right. I forgot. But before I do,
because it's going in the basement, I'm going to look for anything else
that just needs to go in the basement. We have some nail filler
and a gallon of paint. These are still being used
and need to go down there too, so I'm going to run those down quick too. Okay, so now we have something like this. This could hang us up, right?
This, literally it should
get hung up on the wall. So this used to hang when our
bedroom was in that room on the wall. And then we moved over here and I got
some different picture frames that kind of went with our style a little bit more. So now I have to decide what to do with
this. And so let's look at our rules, the one year rule. We did
use this in the past year, but do I see me using
it in the upcoming year? So basically I need to decide, am I
going to hang this on the wall again? Or do I just need to take the
pictures out and then decide, am I going to use the frame somewhere
else, or should I just donate it? And I've actually been thinking that I
do want to hang it on the wall right over there. But these are plaster walls, and I've learned not
just to hammer into them. To actually drill first
usually goes much better. So I am going to use this and
I want to hang this up ASAP. So what can happen with things
like this is that we decide, okay, I found a place I want to keep it,
but then it never gets hung up. So I'm just going to take
a piece of painter's tape. We all do better with deadlines.
And so I'm going to say, "Hang up by Friday or donate." I know Tom also
likes these pictures, so I think he'll help me hang it up.
So I'm going to put it on the bed. So we'll see it tonight
and get that hung up. It will remind me to tell him and
ask him about it too. This was, I was looking for sample
bindings and stuff for a project. And so this was just a sample.
It's like a sample journal, but there's nothing in it. The kids
do not need more of this stuff. And so for something like this,
I would exercise the 20/20 rule, because I'm not using it.
It could, I got it for free, so it could be replaced
for $20 and in 20 minutes, and I don't need any more stuff
like this floating around the house. So this can get donated. So then
the shirt with the tag still on it. This is a great one for would
I buy it again? No, no, no, no. Big bummer. But again,
my goal is low inventory. And right now that goal is more important
to me than feeling guilty about stuff I spent money on. So I'm going
to donate it and never, ever, ever have to think about it again. And one last rule I think is
really important is to ask, am I keeping this out of guilt? I've been talking about
this quite a bit recently, but I'm just really aware
now of how my house feels and how guilty clutter
does not feel good. That when I look at it and I see
something and I'm like, ugh. That I don't want anything in my
house making me feel that way. And so I was reading recently too about
gifts and how often we feel guilty, that we need to keep gifts. And it said, remember that the joy of
gifts is in the exchange. Of the giver being able to give the
gift, and for you as the recipient, not necessarily about
the actual gift itself, but the thought that was put behind it, that this person cares about you and
wanted to recognize you. And that, that sentiment or that feeling of
appreciation or acknowledgement doesn't necessarily have to be
embodied by the gift itself. That we can feel appreciated
and recognized by them without actually having to keep the item forever. We might keep it for a little while
to enjoy it and to be reminded. But over time we don't necessarily
feel that same sentiment towards it. And it can then start
to go the other way from like, "Wow, that was so kind of them to
acknowledge me," to, "Darn it, what am I going to do with this now?"
And so it's amazing how it can go from, that was so sweet and
thoughtful, to a burden. And we don't want to
associate the person, I mean, assuming it's someone we like, we don't
want to associate them with a burden. So I think that's a sign, once the gift
has gone from, "Oh, that's so cool," to, "Darn it, I'm tired of dusting it and moving it
around and having to put it out every time they come over." That's a clear
sign that it's time for it to go. So if there's any things that we're
keeping out of guilt to say 100%, I have permission, like write
this on your rule sheet, I have permission to get rid of things
that I'm just keeping out of guilt. Because I want my house to feel
good and that's okay. Like, that's totally fine for me to want
that for myself. And so, again, I don't want to completely oversimplify
or just dismiss this like, well, if you're having a tough time decluttering
just make rules and it'll make everything super easy. What I've been hearing from others is
that it still feels difficult in the beginning, but as you get into it, and as you keep going and
building some momentum, using these rules is very freeing
and starts to make things easier. So it's hard in the beginning, but as
you get going, you build confidence. You have more experience with it. You see that you've gotten rid
of stuff and you don't miss it. So then you want to get rid of more.
Somebody asked me the other day, they're like, "How can you get through the messy middle
quicker?" And it's really using these rules. Like, if you don't want to have
to take, like we talked about the onion, like if you don't want it
to have so many layers, if you want to be able to
skip ahead, use these rules. No matter if you're an over-analyzer
or not, use these rules. If you will use these rules faithfully, you can skip ahead layers. And if you
don't, it's fine. It's totally fine. But if anyone's like, I just want to skip
ahead, I am so frustrated by my house, use these rules faithfully on
every single item in your house. And you are going to experience so much
freedom in your home and it is going to feel so good and it really, really
does work. And so I would love to know, are there any other rules that have
been really helpful for you to move past some of these mental stumbling
blocks? If you leave that down below, it's super helpful. I'm also going to link to a video
that I did a little while back on the Endowment Effect, which talks
about how, when we own something, we automatically think that it's
worth more. It doesn't matter, just because we own it, every
single thing in our house, we think it's worth more.
It's just how it goes. So I'm going to link to that too, because I think when we
understand that better, it's just another tool to help us to be
able to move through some of this stuff. Especially if you have special, expensive stuff or antique-y
stuff or things like that, it can help us move through it quicker.
So I will link to that as well. But I hope this is helpful. I love
you. And I'll see you again soon.
