- [Amanda] Ooh, wow. Do you remember your last crush? Maybe you have a crush right now. They can fill you with both the elation when you see them or a nervous anxiety. Whatever the right words are to describe how they make you feel, one thing is for certain. What your crush does or says carries serious emotional weight with you. Since there's so much
emotional investment, sometimes even the most confident of us have insecurities and don't seize the day when the opportunity presents itself. Even worse is when those insecurities actively push this person away. And we may not even know it. Give me a break, right? "We're already nervous,"
so let us help you out. Here are a few actions you may not realize are pushing your crush away. Number one, ignoring them. Sounds counterintuitive, right? If you like someone, why
would you ice them out? Perhaps on the surface, you justify it as playing hard to get, but underneath, you are really trying to protect yourself from a rejection you've convinced yourself
is going to happen. If your insecurity is screaming, "They would never like the real you," you can figure if you're crush sees you, they can't hurt you. Hold up, this isn't good. Have you ever been hurt or upset by someone who
seems to be dodging you at every corner or ignoring you, even when they're right next to you? It's like being ghosted to your face. This is what you're doing to your crush. Leaving them constantly hanging or pretending they don't exist can be rather harmful and may give them trust
issues in the future. Trust us, you are not invisible. It is likely they notice
the in-person ghosting, they don't have a reason for it, so they're deeply disturbed as to why this person seems to despise them. If you've ever been ignored yourself, you understand how much this hurts. So you now have the power to stop hurting someone else. We're not saying that you
have to glomp onto them with romantic poetry in hand the next time you see them, but all it takes is being friendly and open to getting to know them so you can let them know how you feel. Number two, nagging and insulting them. So a piece of advice, don't listen to those pick-up artist tips. Especially ignore the one about negging, where something specific to the person is negated or insulted. The reason often given is that either this will make you look superior so the other person will want you more. Or for defense, through
preemptive attacking. We don't know about you, but this sounds a lot more like one person making an effort to hurt the other person. The insults are emotionally and mentally scarring the individual. Knowing this, is the belief that you're protecting yourself from hurt that may or may not even happen a truly justifiable
reason for traumatizing the very person you like? Engaging in insults is perpetuating patterns of abuse that continue to hurt not only others but yourself as well. It might be confusing if your crush and their friends insult
each other to bond, but they have an understanding of where the line is and connect differently to them than you. Starting with kindness and respect is always a good way to
take that step forward to developing a bond and understanding where the line is. Number three, deflecting their advances. You're not playing tennis. If your crush compliments
you or makes advances and do you respond with an overhead smash, they're not gonna return the volley. This is a game, set, match, where your win might actually be a loss. We get it. What if it's scary or
you feel not quite ready for them to get close to you? That's still no reason to deflect their actions hurtfully. If the deflection is rough, they can feel belittled. Worse, you could come off as condescending and cruel. So you'd be sabotaging yourself. To avoid this damage, you could try simply meeting them halfway. Instead of knocking away their offer of how they think or feel, make a matching offer of your own. You can give your own perspective and make clear what your intentions or feelings are. Number four, teasing too much. Ah, yes, the magical concept of balance is at play here. Teasing can be fun, and it's not unusual to
tease those you like. If it's light and good-natured, it can help relieve tension, show you're comfortable and confident around your crush and even open up conversation. There's always a point of too much though, and then it gets ugly. Exercise that self-awareness and looking at the situation as a whole. If there's been too much or an overload of teasing, it becomes annoying, or worse, bullying. If you're not careful or so wrapped up in teasing, you may land on a subject that is sensitive to your crush. And if you're always teasing and joking, the other person feels they don't know you because nothing you do or say seems to be taken seriously. A sense of humor is great, but successful teasing requires empathy so that it doesn't morph into humiliation or being demeaning. A healthy relationship requires all parties within to have some reasonable
level of self-confidence, as the previous points have shown how overwhelming insecurities can torpedo the whole thing. In the end, why wouldn't you give yourself the best chance possible to get to know this person you've been crushing on? Communicate and take the time to get to know them. You might even find out you don't have a crush on them anymore after this. Have you noticed yourself or someone else doing any of these signs stated in this video? Do you have a crush right now and kinda wanna say something? Feel free to comment below and give us a like. Catch you next time.
