3 Subconscious Reasons Why You Worry and How to Stop Worrying

worry isn't something that happens to  you it's actually something that you   do that you subconsciously choose to do  because it serves a function your brain   rewards you for it and then it becomes a  habit if you want to learn how to worry   less you need to understand why your brain  likes to worry because that will free you   to find a replacement for that habitual type  of thinking so in this video you'll learn the   three subconscious benefits you get from worry  and how to retrain your brain to worry less   now first off i have to credit dr martin  rossman he's the author of the worry solution   and he's an expert in mind body medicine this  video is basically a concise excerpt from   his longer and i would have to say excellent  youtube video how your brain can turn anxiety   into calmness and i'm going to link to that video  in the description okay so worry serves at least   three functions but real quick let's define worry  worry is a form of thinking it's cognition it's   imagining future outcomes usually the bad ones  it's it's considering all the things that could   possibly go wrong and stress is the physiological  response it's it's what happens in your body when   you're physically threatened so let's say a huge  dog jumps out to attack you your adrenaline surges   your heart rate and your breathing increase  and your blood pressure goes up so while worry   happens in your mind stress is what happens in  your body and your body doesn't just respond to   physical threats you can have a physical response  to a emotional threat or a cognitive threat right   you can have a physical response to being rejected  by your peers or getting an angry email from your   boss anxiety is the emotional response it  happens in the limbic system in your brain   and i consider it to be a combination of thoughts  and those physical reactions but basically anxiety   creates a strong motivation to avoid a threat so  if you're anxious around heights it makes you back   away from a cliff edge if you're anxious about an  upcoming test you may try to avoid that anxiety   either by studying or by procrastinating okay so  back to worry which is the thinking part of fear   worry or imagination is how our ancestors survived  on the african plain they couldn't run faster than   cheetahs they couldn't swim faster than alligators  they had no armor they had tiny little clowns   and very small teeth and very little fur  right they used their imagination to survive   so for example our ancestors could think about how  the day was going to get hot they could imagine or   worry that they would get thirsty and they could  plan how they would need to get water right they   could worry about how the alligators might be at  the watering hole and then they could use their   imagination their amazingly large brains to think  of a way to get water from the stream instead   because it would be safer so human survival and  in some ways dominance is due to our ability   to imagine ways to get food to imagine ways we  could get eaten and imagine ways how to avoid that   to imagine dangers to our children and to prevent  it right our ability to imagine future events that   haven't happened yet is powerful and this is the  first function of worry it anticipates problems   and it seeks for ways to prevent them but  worry can develop into a really unhealthy habit   so if you constantly imagine that the worst thing  is happening then your stress response is always   getting triggered and you just feel sick and  anxious all the time it makes it hard to be   present and you don't actually solve problems  you just feel unhappy now our imagination   is a skill that most people haven't been taught  how to use optimally you can learn to use your   imagination in a way that helps you and not hurts  you and we'll get to that in a minute but first   uh let's talk about the other two subconscious  reasons why your brain actually likes to worry so   reason number two this is called magical thinking  your brain mistakenly thinks that if it worries   and then the bad thing doesn't happen that it's  worrying that made the bad thing not happen   the brain doesn't like randomness it wants  a reason for why things are the way they are   and it likes a sense of control dr rossman shares  this story he said there was this man in england   who noticed that every day at 3 pm his neighbor  walked around his house three times and he asked   his neighbor why he was doing that and she said  because it keeps the tigers away and he said oh   there are no tigers here and she said see it's  working now i hear this all the time people will   say oh i'd rather worry about it and it not happen  and then i'll be pleasantly surprised then to not   worry about it and have something bad happen the  magical thinking says that if i expect good things   to come i'll jinx myself or if i let my guard  down or if i hope for the best then something   bad will always happen so there's something about  this that feels emotionally true so every time you   do catastrophize like you think oh i'm gonna get  fired and then the catastrophe doesn't happen you   don't get fired then your brain makes this weird  connection thinking oh because i worried about   getting fired that prevented me from getting fired  where it was much more likely that doing your work   actually is what prevented you from getting fired  but when the brain makes the connection between   worrying and bad things not happening it rewards  you for worrying it thinks oh let's do that again   you should do more of that it worked and then it  reinforces that habit which makes you worry more   okay so third is worry is a great way to avoid  feeling so if you experience some unpleasant   emotions like sadness and anxiety and then you  switch your brain into analysis mode or planning   or thinking mode then you can use worry to  distract yourself from your feelings and this can   work pretty well in the short term but in the long  run it actually makes you more sad more anxious   and more fearful so you're basically trading  short-term relief and short-term avoidance for   long-term misery okay so worry as problem-solving  magical thinking or avoidance that can become   habitual it feels good for a little while and your  brain rewards you for doing it so this basically   makes deeper neural pathways for worry which  makes you worry more and and you get the idea   right we basically can become addicted to worry  but you can learn to worry less and you can learn   to use the amazing powers of your imagination  to help you uh instead of harm you so let's talk   briefly about what to do to stop worrying this  is obviously a much bigger topic that we can   cover in a short video but let me give you a few  ideas number one do intentional problem solving   so we need to take worry from something we're  doing unconsciously and make it intentional so the   first thing you need to ask is is it likely that  i could actually do something about this problem   if the answer is yes or most likely then it may be  worth it to actually spend time imagining future   problems and their solutions but then i would just  say schedule in a time to do this just schedule   in 30 minutes to worry each day and this is to  actively problem solve right don't let your brain   choose when you do it because it would always be  right when you're trying to do something important   like sleep or play with your kids right so if  this idea of scheduled worry sounds crazy to you   it isn't it's a super effective way to train your  brain to use its imagination in a helpful way   you can learn all about this in the course worry  free where nick wignell can teach you in about   two hours how to stop the habit of worrying i've  got more information about that course down in   the description so check that out if you'd like  to learn more about worrying and and that very   specific skill of scheduled worry okay number  two we've got to challenge your magical thinking   you could try to run some experiments so you try  imagining good things happening for a while and   then just see if that made bad things happen when  you don't worry and the bad things don't happen   it retrains your brain that the bad things aren't  prevented by worry now dr rossman's book teaches   you how to use guided imagery to replace worry  and i really do like his book so you could also   check that book out that is not a paid promotion  by the way okay number three instead of avoidance   learn to get better at feeling stop using  intellectualization and worry as a way to   avoid your emotions so instead i would  say increase your willingness skills   uh willingness is our ability our skills around  feeling feeling emotions then a couple ways you   can do this is you can keep an emotion journal  you can talk with people about your feelings   you need to just address your feelings when  you practice feeling your feelings they become   less scary and you can develop more confidence  in your own ability to handle them and my motion   processing course goes into a lot of detail on  this so you can also check that out if you'd   like to learn that skill i hope that's all  helpful thank you for watching and take care you

Channel: Therapy in a Nutshell

Views: 271,924

Keywords: therapy in a nutshell, emma mcadam, mental health, depression, anxiety, overthinking, social anxiety, worry, how to stop worrying, anxiety relief

Id: cLG-pcdK6Ww

Length: 9min 41sec (581 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 27 2022