3 Simple Secrets To Become More Mentally Tough

do you ever wish that certain things didn't bother you quite as much as they do do you ever envy those kinds of people who seem to be able to take whatever life has for them if it's criticism if it's failure if it's hardship if it's struggle if it's pain or whatever it is and they just seem to be able to let those things roll off their back and not get affected by them and not get upset by them and they just seem to kind of shrug their shoulders and say oh well and keep going those people that seem to be so mentally tough that nothing seems to faze them well if you're like me you are not one of those people but today we're actually gonna talk about three ways that we can build more mental toughness not so that things don't impact us at all because if you're like me and you are a more highly sensitive person things are going to affect you that things are going to impact you but we can learn how to not let them impact us quite as much and we can also learn how to get back up a lot more easily when we get knocked down stay tuned this is one of my favorite topics if you're new to me and this is the first time we're connecting my name is Julia Kristina and I'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and an online course creator I have a master's degree in counseling psychology and I work to help men and women get through the crap that is holding them back so they can like themselves and their lives more every day and mentally tough people how do they do it yeah it is true that some people are just born with a more kind of robust personality that they are just sort of born of a little bit more of that sort of even-keeled Nisour things don't really bother them quite as much either way they don't necessarily get super excited they don't necessarily get super down or depleted but for the rest of us who are more emotional people and like I said about being more of a highly sensitive person if that's a new term for you but you think you might be a more highly sensitive person have a whole video explaining what that is and how to note if you are highly sensitive person I'm going to put the link below so make sure you go and watch that right after you watch this video but if you are more highly sensitive person things do hurt you more deeply and the reason why I'm so interested in this topic is because like I said I'm a more highly sensitive person and so I wanted to learn how to not let certain things bother me quite so much so I've been doing a lot of research on mental toughness and how to become more mentally tough and what I wanted to know is how to not let anything bother me how to never get knocked down but unfortunately or maybe fortunately I don't know which one yet that's just not the way that it works and there's some good news and bad news with that because the truth is is that you can't numb out the bad without also numbing out the good if things are not gonna bother us if we're not gonna get impacted by tough stuff that comes at us in life then we're not also we're gonna learn how to just sort of block up our emotion the numb out and avoid and repress our emotions we can't selectively numb so that means that when we numb out the bad we end up also numbing out the good and so it's not about learning how to not have feelings it's about learning how to handle things better when like dishes on us when crap hits the fan when things get tough when crap gets real learning how to take that more in stride and so I have three ways and pick which one works better for you maybe in different situations different situations that are gonna call for a different response it's not a one-size-fits-all it's a put some things in your toolbox and keep pulling something out until you find something that works and so when life gets hard when things get real how to become more mentally tough and the first one is and this is a huge one and this is a skill that anyone can learn and some people come by it more automatically and some does have to be more intentional about developing developing the skill and learning this one and that one is to become more adaptable and flexible how to not get so stuck in our ways not get so cling so tightly to our expectations or our ideas or how we think things need to go or what you know what things how things need to turn out in order for us to be happy or satisfied a lot of times that's just made up anyways it's just a story you say it has to go like this in order for me to be happy it has to turn out like this in order for things to to be good or to be okay for me so learning how to be more flexible and adaptable and interestingly enough research shows that this is one of the most beneficial skills that a person can learn for happiness and well-being and just general life satisfaction is learning how to be more adaptable and flexible and how to not cling so tightly to those expectations and one of my favorite mantras with this one if you follow me on Instagram I posted this a little while ago but one of my favorite favorite sayings with this one it's a mantra that I repeat to myself when I get to kind of clingy and contrôlée about things the mantra is things don't have to go my way in order for me to be okay I'm gonna repeat that one again because it's a really powerful one to let sink in things don't have to go my way in order for me to be okay and when we're able to kind of roll with things a little bit better than then certain things when they come at us in life they don't slay us they don't knock us down quite so hard when things don't go as we expect them to we don't get quite so bothered by it if we can learn how to be and practice being more adaptable and flexible the next one and this kind of goes along a little bit with that same adaptability and flexibility is learning how to detach from the outcome or at least become less to the outcome along the time we go through life kind of insisting that something needs to go a certain way and we think that we're only going to be okay if it goes that certainly and we cling to it we push and we fight and we stress and we sacrifice in order to get that particular outcome and then when you don't get it we get totally slayed we get we get we get knocked down we get you fall on our face we get a mouthful of dirt and we maybe even lay there and have a little tantrum and say why this is not okay I can't handle this this is too painful this is too difficult it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to and it's okay to it's okay it's great to have goals it's great to have dreams but not in isolation it's not about just wanting to focus all of our energy or not putting all of our energy and all of our emotions into the outcome it's also about learning how to be more present in the process because the truth is most of life is process most of life is the journey we get to the outcome and we reach the goal and it feels good for a minute or two before we say what what do we say okay what's next we barely even reached the goal or and or been able to like smile and laugh and feel good and grateful about reaching that goal before we're saying okay what's next and so learning how to not be so attached to that outcome and be more present and grounded and and find the joy and the gratitude and the goodness in the process is gonna help us not be so tied to that outcome and great at the outcome is great but fine if you know a little more fine if it isn't because we haven't put all of our eggs into that outcome basket so it doesn't slay us quite so much it doesn't turn out the way that we thought it should or wanted it to or or believed it could the next one and this is one of my favorite ones for mental toughness and this came up again and again and again in the research that I was doing about it is like I said we can't turn off our emotions we can't know be affected by things when we numb out the bad we also end up numbing out the good we can't selectively none numb and so regardless of how enlightened or emotionally mature or how grounded you become as human being there are still going to be certain things that slay you that knock you on your butt things unexpected things things you weren't planning for or whatever it is there are gonna be times where life kicks you in the butt you're gonna get knocked down but to be more mentally tough mentally tough people learn how to become more bouncy they learn how to be more resilient they learn how to get back up when life gets hard they allow themselves to be impacted by to to to feel disappointed discouraged depleted frustrated upset but they don't stay there they figure out and they learn how to get themselves back because then if we know that we can get back up then we have a lot more courage to face and do and take on tough things and to take risks and to put ourselves out there and live more fully because we're not it's not that you know failure isn't an option failure can always happen but we can learn how to become more resilient so that we can get back up and chances are you know well actually the truth is is that if you put yourself out there big enough and long enough you're gonna get your butt kicked you're gonna all in your face you're gonna get you're gonna fall down it's gonna hurt and building mental toughness means that we learn how to become more resilient and how to get back I have a free document for you it's a download it's an audio exercise a guided mindfulness exercise 10-minute guided mindfulness exercise you can download after this video and listen to and that is one thing that really when I talked about detaching from outcomes and just learning how to not attach so much to our thoughts and our overthinking and all the ideas and stories and beliefs that we have in our head that all aren't always all that helpful this exercise is really going to give you a good start to that it's gonna be a really powerful one for that it's a 10-minute guided mindfulness exercise you can grab that I'll put the link below so make sure that you grab that before you go like the video share your comments in the comments section below what helps you build mental toughness what helps you feel a lot stronger and more courageous and brave to be able to go out and handle and deal with and put yourself out there in life and live more fully what helps you be able to do that and love to hear in the comments section below subscribe to this channel let's stay connected come and join my facebook group good for me group comm full of men and women who are heart centered go-getters people who leave from the heart who are sensitive and caring and loving and giving and feeling deep feeling men and women who are not willing to give up and throw in the towel ever they're really good at learning how to learn working on exactly what we're talking about getting back up when we get knocked down so mental toughness it's a tough one but using these skills is really gonna help us become more mentally tough to be able to handle what life has for us thank you so much for being here so good to connect with you until next time take good care

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 106,056

Rating: 4.8910203 out of 5

Keywords: How To Be Mentally Tough, Mental toughness, Mentally strong, How To become mentally strong, stress, anxiety, team fearless, building mindset, mindset hacks, mental wellness, how to build mental toughness, how to build mental strength, how to become more resilient, become more mentally tough, become more mentally strong, be more mentally tough, positive psychology, learned helplessness

Id: 7SttHmdYtao

Length: 12min 43sec (763 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 04 2018