5 Ways to Stop Negative Thoughts

if you've ever thought to yourself i'm not good enough i don't have what it takes i'm not smart enough i'm not strong enough i'm not competent enough i'm not capable enough i'm not lovable enough i'm not worthy enough then this video is for you and that was a trick question because we all have those thoughts at least some times so today i'm going to talk to you and teach you a couple little tricks to not let these unhelpful thoughts continue to bring you down hold you back and get in your way because they do just that when they come in and we let them win they decide so much of not only how we feel but how we show up in our lives and then how we show up in our lives is going to determine the results that we get and the life that we live and so we need to be managing these thoughts so that they are not controlling us and i'm going to give you a couple little tricks that are going to help with that today if you're new here welcome to our incredible little corner on the internet take a second introduce yourself in the comment section below if you are back again say hello it's great to connect with you great to see all of you connect with each other if you haven't already subscribe to the channel the subscribe button is about right down there and either way my name is julia christina and i'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and the creator of my amazing membership community that you all have to check out there's so many incredible things happening there people taking this work uh to that deeper level and being supported along the way in the shift society and you can get more information about that in the description below i help heart-centered humans break through the crap that is holding them back so that they can like themselves and their lives more every day and these unhelpful thoughts are just that they are things that absolutely hold us back and so what do we do when these thoughts come in and try to hijack our brains and make us feel all kinds of down and sad and discouraged and no good and then we're feeling those ways then we don't take the actions or show up in life in the way that we want to be showing up to be getting the life that we want to create the life that we want to get the results that we want to whatever it is that's important to you whether it's about you know building your career or building stronger relationships or getting out and trying new things or starting a business or getting in you know creating better health routines for yourself whatever that is that your brain tries to tell you that you can't do these things or have these things for whatever reason that it wants to come up with that's not helpful we need to talk about these ones even if it's just you know something arbitrary that happens so let's say you find out that friends went out and had a get-together you know somewhere and they didn't invite you and then your brain starts to tell you that well it's because you're not lovable enough no one likes you they didn't want you there and then that makes you you know kind of isolate yourself and be like well i don't need them and you get all just sort of like huffy about it and hurt about it and then you know take it personally and then end up isolating yourself and you know or just like giving people that you know kind of an attitude and then they're like what's your problem i don't understand what's going on and then it creates conflict and discord in the relationships and distance in the relationship right and then that is not helpful if our goal is to have connection right the reason why we get hurt or disappointed when we're not included in something is because we want connection and then we end up creating more disconnection with our reaction because we have made the action mean something about us we've made it automatically mean that if i'm not invited to something or included in something then it means that i'm not lovable enough right you see how that works how we create these stories our brains feed us these thoughts and then we create all of this mental drama for ourselves and then often end up getting the thing that we weren't wanting which was the disconnection or if it's you know about a job that you're going for where you're like going for a promotion and you really want the promotion but then your brain is like you don't actually have what it takes you're not good enough for this and so then your brain tells you this and then you feel discouraged you feel defeated and then you don't end up going the extra mile doing the extra things putting the extra work to get the promotion and then you don't get it and then you feel see then it's that self-fulfilling prophecy see i'm not good enough because i didn't get it and you can apply this to most situations in your life when your brain starts to feed you information about what something means about you and then you run with it and you indulge it and you feed it and you go with it and then you end up those thoughts end up turning into feelings right that create these feelings of hurt or discouragement or frustration and then that leads to an inaction or it leads to an action that is moving us away from what we actually want and then it becomes that self-fulfilling prophecy and then we end up feeling worse so what do we do with these thoughts when they show up the first thing a simple thing just front line defense when you have a thought that's coming in to tell you something about who you are and what you are and why you are that's not the most appealing that's not the most pleasant um you know like i said somewhere in the lines of like you're not good enough you're not lovable enough you're not worthy at a very simplified level just taking a step back and noticing what your brain is doing and being like hey is this thought helpful is this thought useful is engaging and indulging and feeding this thought getting me what i want is it moving me forward is it helping me create the outcomes or the results that i want and if the answer is no let it go and there might be reasons why this thought is coming up maybe it's from past pain past things that you've been through and it's just kind of showing up in this situation but regardless of where it comes from it's not helpful now so being able to just say hey brain for some reason you're coming up with this thought about why i'm not good enough don't have what it takes not whatever it's just not helpful and i'm just not buying into it and something else that we often do without even realizing it is that we end up fighting for the unhelpful self-defeating thought we fight for it and what do i mean by this so let's say that your boss gives you some feedback on an assignment or a proposal or a project or whatever it is your boss gives you some feedback on it and it's constructive feedback we'll call it and then automatically you think to yourself oh my gosh i got criticized for this so that means that i suck and i'm no good and i don't have what it takes and i'm a failure i'm an idiot or whatever that is and then you start looking for other instances where you haven't done your best work in the past you'll be like oh yeah and then a few months ago i had that colleague that made that comment during during a meeting that kind of shut down my idea and then last year i had my mother who was criticizing what i'm doing with my life and kind of made some sideways comments about my life choices and then i had this like third grade teacher that when i handed in you know a piece of art they said that it looked like a bunch of scribbles and it was no good see i can't do anything right i'm a loser i'm a failure right and then we end up fighting to keep that thought that i'm not good enough or that i'm a failure that we come up with all this evidence from any situation in the last you know 30 40 50 years to confirm that we fight to prove that thought right instead of fighting for the thoughts that you want to have fighting for the beliefs that you want to have did you know that you had a choice there that you don't have to fight to keep yourself feeling miserable you don't have to fight and continue to come up with all the reasons why you suck you actually don't you can sit down and you can think about okay so i got this feedback from my boss i get to decide what i'm going to make that mean i'm going to get to decide whether i me make that mean that i'm a failure and i'm a loser and i can't do anything right or i'm going to fight to make it mean that i've got some things to figure out that i've got some more homework to do that i have some things that i haven't learned yet and there's ways that i can improve like any human being there's always things different things to make things better and that doesn't mean that what i've done is terrible and so fighting for the belief that you want to have that is also allowed and then piggybacking on that not just fighting for the belief that you want to have but also finding evidence to support it so often you know back to the friend situation where like okay you know these friends found out these people got together they didn't invite me so that automatically means that i'm a reject and i'm a loser and they don't love me instead of hey i don't always invite everyone to everything all the time and it doesn't mean i don't like those people or it could have been that they just happened to run into each other out somewhere and then just made an impromptu plan it wasn't some big conspiracy theory against me there could be alternate explanations for this so i can fight for those thoughts and then i can also find evidence to support it if my brain is taking one instance of being left out meaning that i'm unlovable and no one likes me and these friends obviously don't like me then i can come up with evidence to support the other thought to be like oh i actually have no evidence to support the fact that these people don't like me we chat regularly we get together regularly nothing has happened that has caused any kind of major riff or conflict lately so you know as far as i know everything is fine so chances are then all of a sudden you're deciding to turn against me is not super likely and so i am going to find some evidence to support the thought that my friends do care about me the people in my life do value me and i can probably come up with a ton of examples for that so being able to find evidence for the thoughts that we want to be having instead of continuing to only find evidence for the ones that are not helpful another thing similar to the first one that we talked about which is about really asking ourselves is this thought useful or is this thought helpful another thing that's even simpler than that when you notice your brain just kind of coming up with these thoughts that are just throwing you off and just like kind of just taking you down an unhelpful path you can use something called the stop method where you just almost like picture like a red stop sign in your brain and just almost like yell out in your brain stop stop i'm not going there i'm not indulging that i'm not letting you do that brain it's not happening and so then just simply that just saying stop uh not today not happening not going there and then just get back to whatever it is that you were doing before your brain tried to fill your head with a bunch of garbage so just simply yelling stop picturing stop and getting it to stop now i gave you several things to do here because you might find that you need to run through a few of them depending on the situation and depending how relentless how stubborn that thought is that you may need to try a few of them before you find one that is going to work also learning at a deeper level how to manage your mind and direct your mind and be in charge of your mind no matter what is happening in or around you is the deeper work that we're doing in the shift society so you can get on the waitlist for the shift society in the description below you're going to want to get in the wait list um yeah in the description below because uh the waitlist always gets to find out first when we open up registration this is the deeper intentional supported work that the people in there are doing in the meantime building yourself trust and learning how to not let your brain just run away with itself comes from being able to trust yourself building your relationship with yourself so that your brain is automatically looking for the worst things to think about you trust is built when we are directing our brains intentionally when we are not constantly throwing ourselves under the bus when we are going through the steps to trust ourselves our brain just behaves in general differently it's not always looking for an opportunity to make us feel terrible in any like in any trusting relationship when there is a foundation of trust things are just they're better they feel better they run better they connect better so grabbing my simple steps to self-trust guide say that five times fast in the description below to get you started on that while you wait for the shift society to open what connected with you here which one are you going to try first would love to hear in the description below and if you found this helpful please do hit the like button it helps to get you know with the the the youtube algorithm helps to just get in front of more people also sharing it helps a lot too and subscribe to the channel if you want to stay connected to know when the next video comes out then that button is about right down there get on the waitlist for the shift society get that simple steps to self trust and start building that today and until next time take good care

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 10,031

Rating: 4.9843955 out of 5

Keywords: negative thought, stop your negative thoughts, how to stop your negative thoughts, limiting beliefs, distorted thoughts, negative thinking, intrusive thoughts, stop intrusive thoughts, automatic negative thoughts, unhelpful thought, CBT tool, CBT methods, CBT therapy, Psych Hub, therapy in a nutshell, CBT, CBT therapist, cognitive therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, cognitive psychology, cognitive psychologuy, defeat negative thoughts, Julia Kristina, Youtube therapist

Id: XDeKzO2FGWs

Length: 14min 53sec (893 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021