10 Major Problems Mario Would Have In Real Life

there's no denying it Mario is a video game superhero he shoots fire conquers castles and takes on big monsters all in the name of saving a princess but if the former plumber actually existed in real life the dude would have some major or should we say super problems join us as we look into the world of Mario if it existed in real life and we don't mean real life as in the horrendous live-action Mario movie so let's just ignore that broken hands Mario may have served as the referee and punch-out but the video game superstar would have been better off as a boxer himself his hands are seemingly indestructible smashing bricks punching boxes and being used in countless adventures no matter how thick his special white gloves were Mario would have a pretty tough time in the real world basically those white gloves would have been replaced with white casts you ever try punching a brick wall movie we don't recommend it but Mario makes the bone cracking activity his hobby he wouldn't make it past the first Goomba in real life before he was sent to the ER and getting treated for some broken knuckles and after years and years of this carnage his hands would probably be stuck stiff with very little mobility with the amount of damage his hands take he would be unable to drive a mario kart tossing cathy would be out of the question and forget any of the mario party minigame challenges Mario's friends in the real world one of Mario's best friends would clearly be Luigi and while he also has Peach and Daisy to hang out with his other friends might not jive so much in the real world can you imagine if you saw a man at a park talking with a bunch of mushrooms yeah so a real-life version of toad and toadette would probably be out of the picture he couldn't just spend day after day talking with animals plants and creatures he would no longer be considered a hero just the town weirdo we try to avoid Mario would have to make new friends and could you imagine it's a Friday night poker game and there's Mario just hanging out eating some chips and playing a little Texas Hold'em yeah yeah yeah it doesn't seem like his type of scene in reality Mario may be forced to hang out with some of his human enemies we're looking at you Wario and Waluigi were well well it would likely be unpleasant at first the real-life counterparts may get along great sharing tips on mustache trimming picking out new outfits together and playing a plethora of sports yeah Mario would definitely miss Yoshi and his other problems travels if we traveled like Mario does in his dozens and dozens of games we would have enough frequent flyer miles to enjoy free vacations for the rest of our lives even when he's riding the airship in Mario Odyssey the crazy amount of traveling he does is off the map or literally across multiple maps depending on what game your plan so in the games mario could defeat a desert world and then his next adventure takes him to a frozen tundra in real life let's just look at a little sample trip mario just defeated a castle near the pyramids of egypt time to head to Cairo Airport next stop Alaska never mind the extra charges for all those heavy gold coins in his luggage Mario would be looking at about 31 hours of travel time with two lay overs on his journey huh poor Princess Peach defeating the maps in just a single game would take weeks two months for Mario plus all that jet lag would probably cause some major performance issues his running speed and jumping just wouldn't be the same oh yeah there's also the times where the guy has to travel to outer space for adventures now we're talking about even longer flights and millions of dollars in costs vandalism charges Mario may be the hero of the whole Nintendo franchise but often the guy has tunnel vision his one goal is to rescue Princess Peach doing whatever it takes unfortunately much like a vigilante mario breaks a lot of laws along the way in real life the former plumber would find himself dealing with so many charges and legal issues we would have to wonder if Bowser was the real hero let's look at the basics first there's vandalism charges punching bricks smashing items and causing all types of damage to flag poles Mario also has no qualms about trespassing he treats new dog city like a personal playground climbing on the buildings jumping over cars and going anywhere he pleases and despite Bowser's minions going after him multiple times Mario would be at the mercy of so many animal cruelty charges there's literally thousands of turtle shells he's thrown around and used at his disposal not to mention all the four creatures he's killed ocean life has enough pollution problems as it is but mario has no issue diving in and blasting away all those poor cheep cheeps with his fireballs speaking of fire Mario would also have to face a ton of arson charges with the way he shoots off all those fireballs so willy nilly hopefully he has a good lawyer his mustache and smile isn't gonna charm him out of these charges burns when it comes to Mario and his arson charges legal problems would only be half of it no matter what Mario would have to deal with a whole lot of burn issues handling the hot flames is bound to come with some problems especially as they bounce freely around different worlds not only would Mario suffer from his own burns but he's constantly surrounded by heat and flames piranha plants blast fireballs in his direction Bowser shoots off even bigger fireballs and there are numerous levels where mario has to dangle and jump over huge pits of lava it only takes one single fire incident to cause major burn damage to Mario's skin seeing how much he's exposed to these high heat dangers Mario would need a lot of skin grafts and plastic surgery to maintain his classic look and while his overalls may be back in style again good luck taking him off after they caught on fire the straps would lock those flames in creating even more problems for Mario it may be time to teach him a little stop an identity crisis Mario may be known as a plumber but he's truly a jack-of-all-trades one of his biggest careers besides fixing leaky pipes as a medical doctor dr. Mario has proven time and time again his training in the art of stacking pills and shows no sign of quitting we've also seen him as a baker in Yoshi's cookie and archaeologists and the president of the Mario toy company all of these occupations don't even break the surface of his sports and fitness career including events at the Olympic Games soccer and a passion for tennis in the real world Mario would show clear signs of a major identity crisis he hops from career to career on a whim has no set goals other than rescuing the princess and never seems happy holding a long term career Mario would really need to take a good look in the mirror and really analyze his actions before making any future career choices a lot of these things could be interesting hobbies but there's just no way he's filling out prescriptions heading out on a dinosaur dig and making decisions about toy products all within a nine-to-five timeframe Plus can you imagine filing his taxes Oh Mamma Mia arthritis and mobility issues we all know Mario can jump that's kind of his thing unfortunately the world of Mario is much different than the real world mainly gravity if we went out hopping jumping and sliding down flag poles on the daily we'd have some major health problems especially as the years went by over time Mario would not be jumping as far or as high the natural aging process would start limiting his ability and shortening each jump he took not only that but his knees would be pretty much a big bowl of jell-o the cartilage would be pretty much worn down to nothing and he would suffer a whole lot of arthritis issues after a while the list of surgeries Mario would need would look as long as a grocery store receipt we're talking knee replacements hip replacements and probably some work on the neck and spine as well Mario would need a chiropractor on speed-dial healing the man up and providing some relief after all his adventures at least all the exercise would keep his heart healthy there's one upside to basically needing a robot body for all the intense physical activity mario never just takes a stroll in the park he is a man on a mission and will run and jump to get there every single time family drama in the video game world Mario Luigi are the best of friends Luigi comes in for the assist all the time they love to play sports together and Luigi even saved Mario from being trapped inside a painting in Luigi's Mansion while we want Luigi and Mario to remain close brothers and Friends things wouldn't work out the same way in the real world there would be all sorts of family drama first off there's the crazy amount of attention Mario gets as the hero he's plastered all over the game hailed as a hero and truly gets the majority of the credit while the weed left in the shadows even in Mario Odyssey Mario does the adventure himself while Luigi is humiliated and relegated to hosting a hide-and-seek balloon game what's up with that mario has capi a majority of the friends and when each adventure ends he gets to reunite with Princess Peach while Luigi is left twiddling his thumbs Luigi's last name is even Mario serving as a constant reminder of how his brother controls and overshadows Luigi every step of the way there would come a point when the brothers would throw down Super Smash Bros style letting out all of their rage and problems that built up over the years let's just say that Mario Thanksgiving dinner would be extremely awkward weight issues for the amount of time that Mario runs jumps and plays sports the dude still packs on a few pounds while Luigi is tall and lean Mario's calorie burning technique is just not adding up if you were to run into these problems in the real world there would be two most likely causes the first Mario is a binge eater running through levels and surviving castles makes the man hungry so hungry that he Chows down on a castle feast after each adventure we know he loves Italian food so bowls of pasta and slices of pizza are probably his specialty and if binge eating isn't his thing then a real-life Mario would likely have some sort of thyroid problem when your body doesn't produce enough thyroid hormones you may be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism a condition which could explain Mario's weight gain and inability to properly lose weight to get a hold on it Mario would have to see someone other than his own alter ego doctor Mario with the right treatment he could get down to a healthy weight and still enjoy his speedruns of course we love Mario for who he is as long as there are no physical or psychological problems connected to his body size no shame in here you do you Mario money issues globe-trotting adventures all types of costumes and the proud owner of his own high speed go-kart yeah it's pretty safe to say that Mario is loaded but in the real world we wouldn't have gold coins just floating in the sky hidden behind flowers or buried under large pipes we actually have to work to earn our money and while mario has plenty of career skills as we previously mentioned it's gonna be pretty hard to keep up with his lifestyle sure he saves a lot on his wardrobe by wearing the same overalls all the time but his traveling alone would cost thousands every year not to mention the amount of money Mario would spend on his go-kart up keeps the time he spends at the Country Club playing golf and tennis and the number of coins he bets and wagers during a mario party game on top of all that Mario would have to care for and supply food to Yoshi considering how fast yo she swallows things hold the food and vet bill would cost a pretty penny and with the amount of time Mario spends trying to rescue Princess Peach he doesn't seem to get any money in it for the process it feels like we're just breaking through the surface of real life Mario what do you think though any other major problems we missed would you love to see Mario try to survive in the real world well let us know down in the comments and stick 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Channel: TheGamer

Views: 535,277

Rating: 4.7691908 out of 5

Keywords: Mario, Nintendo, Super Mario, Mario in real life, Super Mario Odyssey, Mario World, Luigi, Mario and Luigi, Mario Galaxy, Video Games in real life, The Gamer

Id: 0CsMHjCLw34

Length: 11min 37sec (697 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 02 2019