Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 433 w/ Bill Burr

welcome welcome to your mom's house [Music] [Music] all right Jean here we are here we are and here we go and away we're off dude I just saw a FIFO humping bit see very rare and this doesn't happen a lot he doesn't have a high libido we thought we had absolutely no we thought we had a genderless sexless a sexy asexual animal many years he cut his nuts off and he never say anything never but today I know we got him fixed right then we got of course we did but he arrived to us Vic no he did not he arrived to us with these big black balls remember he had big black nuts and is huge for his little body he only weighs that's right because compounds the first day that we got FIFO he we walked him into our house and he was like hi I'm Peyton Lafferty and that's right true story the shelter named him Peyton Lafferty that's right we had to change it yeah I got these big black balls and I'm like on him we're like whoa they were so big and I remember he used to run and they would jingle it was actually very cute mm-hmm but no now he has no but no balls but he's just humping her he he gets anxious when other people are coming around yeah I think he senses we're gonna have a guest yeah you think so yeah no that's only time he does it when he senses he it's K on it's like when you are anxious or depressed and you masturbate compulsively or when you're on the road under breath why are you telling everybody yeah isn't that everybody's thing especially if you know like a redheads coming over then it happens more you think so I think so he gets excited over that I think he knows yeah he's a huge fan of the guy that's coming today I know he watches all of his specials and yeah big huge amount of ATC yeah so it's excite yeah excite amaze anyways we had a lot to cover let's um let's get into okay yes yes oh yeah oh yeah all right all right you crazy ball hog here we go here we go electronic capsule to monitor gas levels in the human gut when it's paired with a pocket-sized receiver and a mobile phone app the pill reports tail wind conditions in real time as it passes from the stomach to the colon [Music] kabuki so yeah I'm petting laughs on a ball hog that's my favorite series of all time I also like the name patent patent laughs are they like it's such a white girl it's such a thing to me Horne name I mean I know there's the old kind of wait a minute that's not her given God name you would never believe it but no your parents didn't destined you to become a pornography there's like three people that use their real name yeah yeah and everybody else obviously picks a performing name yeah and the old joke you know is like you picked like the name your first stupid I mean what have you had to go out there right now and pick up porn name jet-skiing easy to pronounce easy to spell easy to Sorrell I'm such an idiot I should have changed my last name for 15 years ago when I started stand-up but I couldn't find a suitable I just couldn't you know you could have I tried I wanted to be Christina black but then there's Jack Black he was huge at the time Louis black all right you know there's too many blacks like there was too many there are there are I know exactly what you mean they're everywhere that coming into our cities no there are too many people with that last name and that's what I wanted I just I couldn't think of something well we would you name me now if you give me another name besides segura obviously but I can't do that because we're not the [ __ ] Bobbsey Twins of comedy I know yeah I don't know so lame Dalila dog hunt would be talking about ticket seller Christina if you were doing porn and they and they do that thing before you're seen there you go you're seeing a guy go the guys like it babe if you look super hot and then he's and you're like huh thanks and he was like what's your name and you're like Delilah dog can't actually good whoa let's see this thing yeah I mean that does pique your interest know if somebody texted me right now you seen this Delilah dog hunt I'd be like whoa whoa whoa what like yeah she's uh doing porn oh she's pretty [ __ ] crazy I'm like yeah course she named herself dog hunt that is the craziest yeah that's it she's wild for sure Delilah dog hunt Wow oh it's so funny that they that the porno industry still insists on calling it things like scenes or film I know I love it I like it right like do I love it language thing that they do is that they call people outside of its citizens oh right I do that accommodate yeah I know but it's just funny to me that like cuz there is usually we think of civilians you think of the military right so I think of I think of porn people thinking of themselves as like really sacrificing we're just the cultural elite yeah in some way yeah well these regular civilians they don't know the kind of thing that we do we're in [ __ ] we're special yeah we don't know anything about [ __ ] yet two kids nobody does yeah civilians shoot I'm gonna shoot my scene today it does helps I gotta go to work it's all about so yeah it's all psychological yeah cuz you've got to feel okay about being paid laugher you the ball hog of course if you're like well I'm kind of technically some people around you normalize it yes yeah that's absolutely true yeah so it's legitimized well I guess porn back in the day was shown in movie theaters which now you're just like could you even imagine going to us sitting in a full theater not jerking off like a whole room full of now they have those recliner chairs so it's like state-of-the-art comfortable blanket over you server and some of those exclusive theaters you know and be like become cleaner but then they come cleaner will come around and wipe you off and you're like it's like it's not erotic you're like man I think deigning come for 48 years he's got a filthy rag to use the same record every 115 they come and that's how I get my living like we've had here I think come cleaners got to be the worst job in the world I did it oh that's right it's play yeah I was a kind of cleaner oh good yeah but not like not like in the movie theater no but it was nasty as [ __ ] nasty as hell I did laundry where people just [ __ ] I had to mop the floor just so people know there was this place called splash a relaxation spa right if you ever heard Street watched the show blind date for some reason every reference ended up at Splash well because I'll tell you why you know why did they do that it was monetary so what happened was so splash scholars because of the relaxation spa so if you're you're unaware you go like oh maybe that's a spa that's what I thought where she would cuz that's what they're calling right so at a spa I imagined I go like I like spas when I first got here you know I like to relax I like to relax I like steam rooms you know like maybe I can get a nice guy so I figured you know I'll be like a towel boy like the guys you see at a spa sure I'm dressed up and like wearing their little thing like can I get you a glass of water or something so I get there and the guy gives us a tour I was with my friend Chuck and we go in there and he's like oh it's hourly rentals of themed rooms so there's like the Barcelona that's right I remember this garden Greek room and basically greco-roman yes they call it behind them with has like plants yeah fake plants and it has a hot tub and a bed and so what it was do is it it was just to rent now they would they would lean on the fact that this is like a date spot because there were some people that wanted to do that as like a date like an exciting day all this go this but could you okay and this is my up my thought always on blind date with Roger Lodge there are two horrendous first dates for me personally number one the workout date Darrell meet me at the gym that's so dumb and we'll put on our gym clothes and sweat terrible number two the jacuzzi the public Jacuzzi day it's crazy I mean that's television they grow they knew it was good TV and when I said monetary because it was cheap for a TV production and they would I'm sure they were thrilled to have the publicity court a splash on every episode so what happened is people would come in splash it rent their rooms but that big thing was hookers right clearly so because it's also where else can you go for an hour yeah now when I got when the guy was hiring us and training us he told us people will come in and they'll ask you about getting a hooker here you cannot tell them you have to say like we don't do anything like that like we don't provide the hooker right but you can bring you can bring a hooker bring in the food like you can't be like hey can you help arrange a hooker to come here worse yeah so man I mean we lasted Chuck last like three days I last like two weeks what kept you hanging in like what was honestly it was just that I had a job yeah so I was like but then like it was one of those things psychologically you break down because it's gross yeah yeah so they used to have this policy that you have to code you have to go to the room you have to go to the room when all parties are there but imagine if you're meeting a hooker let's say you set it up and you know like you're nervous right you're embarrassed that this is happening so I would see guys come in they're like I'll take that whatever room I'm like okay and they're like I'd like to go there and I'm like well is the other person here no they're gonna meet me here and I go you have to wait till they get here and they would get like they're like I don't want to wait I just want to go in there I'm like I'm sorry it's policy you'd see them just kind of like man yeah I can do like can I I really don't want to be like waiting here and like I'm sorry it's like that's the policy and then like a couple times I would see you know another guy would walk in and go Kevin [Laughter] Mario yeah okay and you look at me like come on okay and then I would take them to the room sometime one time two guys or one guy had two guys meet him there and they were in that room six minutes you know Peyton Lafferty Halen everything in there and there's like three used condoms of course but there was no actual policy at splash prohibiting no walking in the hot tubs of body fluid being expelled in the water I mean that was encouraged that was the whole point yeah but we just couldn't you couldn't get the hookers for them that you can facilitate the meeting kind of I mean you're just like you're writing a room I don't care what you doing there oh no but a room that's also really unhygenic and really dangerous if everyone's coming in the whirlpool every day I mean how many loads of jizz were in those jacuzzis and then now you're gonna rent that Jacuzzi it says so unhygenic system for like chlorine and measuring the pH balance I do that to everything then we had this mop you had to mop you know bunch up all the linens and wash that I'm everyone after every after every class no matter what even if they like didn't use the bed sure you still had to do it I remember one time this couple came in that was clearly like a real couple and the guy was like place nasty I guess he kept saying that and nasty as hell and she was like now it's gonna be fun she was trying to have like a romantic night yeah I take them to their room and like a minute later the guy calls the front desk and I go yeah he's like this place nasties help me go down there and there was a pubic hair and uh I don't on the same course I was like oh my had to pretend I was immediately cleaned it up and he was like no no of course and I'm assuming that's why splash got shut down was probably prostitution and I don't know I think he actually probably just had a good run you know hygienic that place was he was it wasn't old but I mean when I moved here which was over more than fifteen years ago he had all white hair and he was had to be like in his 60s or so Oh I mean splash has been around probably I don't know if it got closed for that as much as it might have been just the just had red because I'm growing up here splash was the punch line like everybody was like you take your day to splash everybody knew that some nasty [ __ ] was going down that's did you know that shows you when you're new somewhere yeah of course yeah I just walked in there like I like spa I wish I would have known you right when you moved here God and what it told you to run from splash yeah so gross he was such a weird guy clearly can you imagine what a rough business to run he boasted about his friendship with Hugh Hefner and yes you know party is at the Playboy Mansion yeah all that stuff no like douchey old guy in the grotto yeah he's like no run down I get a lot of broads huh yeah anyways we saw a movie yeah I wanted to have fun the other day and we made the mistake of seeing the movie the post yeah it wasn't a fun movie I don't know why I thought it would be just feels like it's a well-constructed movie I mean all the although you know moving parts yeah the story are there it's well you know it's well put together yeah I just didn't yeah and I I felt like I felt like it might a dumb person because I'm not riveted by what's happening our guest is here okay we can't we gotta we gotta stop for a moment and get our gas but will you make a note of where we stopped this conversations we can talk further about it thank you all right we had to stop really quickly to get let our guests in and he's here now I know many of you know him from his many stand-up comedy specials his hit show vh1's I love the 80s Strikes Back fart is for family on Netflix it's all Billy red nuts bill burr what's going on is this your third time second I think a second Silverlake yeah back in the old school yeah and now here thanks for coming over man change with you you remember in the Silver Lake days you were just a young a young little man and now your wife you've got I wasn't I was well into my for developing very slowly a delightful young man I'll take that I remember I live 43 year olds and met bill I don't know if I mentioned this on the last one but I met I met him in person I'd seen him on Chappelle show and you know yes and like at the height of like its popularity and then I was at Melrose this is like I don't know what it was it was the year that you moved here and he's at the bar and I just started talking to him and he was like yeah you know I walked here and I go oh from where he goes Silver Lake oh my god walked here from Silver Lake he was like yeah kind of far I go yeah and I still in a New York sort of see yeah of course we bit which makes sense and he goes you know plus I want to be able to see a little bit of the city it's just like so much of it it's just like you know just go go go go go everybody up your asses you're trying to drive or something so and I gave him a ride back to his house I was like this is way far for a walk and then right before he got out of the car he goes uh do you want to see me come yeah like all right and he you know he just jerked off and then he got out the car he's just a me two stories like I was I was I wasn't affecting you weren't so yeah I'm saying that I was like that's pretty cool man and he goes that's the secret to be being good remember this right oh yeah and too many comics listen to me but that is the secret for all you young open mic is out there got to start doing it more we discovered that there's the weirdest story anybody's ever said like maybe from the beginning it's the serial killer like tone of the histories a complete lack of emotion thank you yes yeah you know what and I know being missing from our stories the sound of somebody gagged screaming in the other room right now I know that you yeah and I know that you suspect that my husband is a psycho I've heard I've heard about yes yeah no I know and I've actually yeah and I've been trying to prove this on this show for it's just like you know is like Bud in this Bud Light there's like psycho and psycho light like he just he's not the the high-calorie one that can't get married and have kids right yes but if you if his thoughts were a movie yeah yeah definitely nc-17 yeah he's a functioning psychopath yeah you know why because when I started dating involved this is a true story when I started dating Tom Segura back in 205 there were red flags little stuff like when we were remembering dead animals behind you you know in the beginning you're all lovey-dovey and uh and he'd be like I like you so much I like you so much I just want to gouge your eyes out I want to squish your face and kill you and put a sledgehammer in your head like that stuff Tom you're like I love you so much I just want to smash your goddamn head in I'm being serious no there's I somebody said that about my kid one time oh my God look at those feet I just want to cut him off and I was just like [ __ ] lunatics Yeah right there you can't you can't be with a person like that so we got a guest room well I'm two kids deep now I think I used to say like I want to put your head through that dress yes yeah yeah but I was like as an expression of love right and there were other things too like because you don't like love and you hate that it makes you feel weak or something that you want to violently take it out right exactly right yeah and you know it worked out it did actually are you frustrated that you knew you had no control over the love that you had for your wife so then then you just use starting to feel trapped I think it was more of like I didn't know how to express how good I felt you know you try to play like dim-witted they're calculated yeah you're everything you need to be to make in this business yeah you just can't get creative and just be floating around like oh that tickles my artistic fantasy you have to have a plan but you gotta leave your friends and family behind this is all these things when Oprah talks about women yeah you're gonna do this yes she leaves all that part out yeah you're gonna miss your children growing up right yeah get to the top of the mountain and you're going to be alone and have no real friends and there's a reason I never had children as Oprah because I don't give I don't have time for that [ __ ] I wanted to [ __ ] take over the world when I swing in this circle with both hands you can't you can't carry a kid yeah the other side of it of course you talk about me is that there's a lot of people writing in that bill is you know much more profound psycho no never yes I'll tell you seen it no no I I wouldn't do that but I also that like his feet fits the it's I get away with it being a redhead so everybody thinks Oh Opie Ron Howard they think like India the guy who doesn't get the girl the the [ __ ] awkward that's what they think him he looks like you know every time there's a [ __ ] serial killer yeah that is the exact hairline yep when they lead about that is he is the exact [ __ ] hairline yeah well and also that's that's why you're an extra psycho and bill deals with his anger on stage right you've got act these parts of your actor very the punching of the muffins it's very aggressive he deals with his anger creatively you suppress you push down you push down what you're doing is you're you're looking at me on stage as if that's who I am like you know talk to my wife my wife lives with me and I yeah I'm a [ __ ] lunatic would you express the rage it comes out creatively at least as what it also comes out in his personal life or you do you are you angry at home over the dumbest [ __ ] yeah the stupidest what what got you last time yeah what's the hey I don't know it's blind reaiiy got see read so I don't remember just don't [ __ ] some [ __ ] you don't remember I got a garage and it's locked and I don't have my keys yeah I'll just scream of course yeah yeah and what is rehouse is down they'll hear it can you imagine by the way she has this trait if you think I'm bad what how you would be with mr. burr over here so if I drop my phone oh god damn it right like [ __ ] because I had so much anger in my house growing up everybody's [ __ ] yelling all the time and I don't like it why did you pick this lunatic because he doesn't rage he suppresses it yeah and then he'll let it out a one big spurt like I'll really piss him off and then he'll let it let me have it but you have it it takes like a while let's let you hope the dog you poke the dog you poke the dog I don't bite really though I bite yeah like what I'm sure I'm way worse than him I don't want you guys bicker now hold on bill when you say of course god dammit right when you forget the keys what's the of course oh that is that easy that's the movie trailer that's not the movie of me getting angry I mean this it Tourette's yeah you just arrest I have like a string it's almost like Carlin's seven dirty words like I can't do it unless I'm mad yeah I know [ __ ] is in there [ __ ] yeah what about dog [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] like yeah yeah yeah yeah I go I go mother [ __ ] God yeah god [ __ ] damn it but there's something about pronouncing the whole world it takes the edge off [ __ ] goddamn [ __ ] yeah it just it takes it away you know it's it's good for you right there's studies about people who like run by angry scientist sick of their wives bitching at them I got a lot of work to do on myself I'm turning 50 this year so I'm on the other side of it so maybe the last few turning fifties maybe the last three holes of golf course hey you ever seen a shrink before ah therapy yeah I went to therapy well you went but you stopped going well after a while it's just like well you know I've told all the bad stories and I'm always gonna have problems it's just becoming like this you know lifelong car payment now that you have to come over here be like well this happened yeah my garage door was looked and I just I just felt like a [ __ ] after a while lucky when are you gonna just you know get off this [ __ ] couch here and go live your life and stop having to talk to this [ __ ] person yeah you're full of anger vlog yourself for for being both Oh would you stop it like you have some sort of psychology degree ten years in therapy is so much football for 40 years I shouldn't be somebody's coach yeah then you're gonna like superimpose your [ __ ] issues of the psychos in your life on to me it's like [ __ ] alcoholics they think yeah always like oh yeah you drink you must be like me yeah the whole world cuz their attics silly they're so [ __ ] self-involved the whole world has to be like them yes I agree I'm so glad you hear thunder scene in our place I'm the worst the worst I know and you you know think you're a [ __ ] shrink right now I mean let the guy be going I want to ask Bill something is this funny to you know what Jesus so those guys yeah what's going on well he's backing into a mechanic's garage oh it's in another part of the world so he's just kind of you know taking his time kind of getting it aligned jesus [ __ ] it's funny cuz y'all laughing dude somebody got to teach that person a little throttle control look at life life is cheap in that shop huh that guy took it like a champ though huh have pretty much man now but funny I saw you laughing it's funny cuz it shouldn't happen it's unexpected you didn't die yeah you know - you think that anything a part of the I think the guy in the red shirt would be a little more concerned unless he was the guy driving isn't it a little funny extreme if you listen to that you wouldn't think like just close your eyes and listen to that yelling you don't that doesn't that sound like I'm pinned right right see it helps seek his bill but he thinks this is the funniest clip we've ever played I don't think it's the funny you really like it I think it shows a lack of empathy for others because I know that that man's hurt I have a harder time laughing you know and I think that that's your husband's identity and that's his safety blanket so he stays in there because you feel safe who's therap izing yeah I mean their opposing therapist is about sizing what's my safe space yeah what does they say that again go laughing doing that so I bring to me wow that tom he's crazy I like him oh we're not gonna say mean things to him because he's crazy no I'm fine I just grew up watching Benny Hill and the Three Stooges like I did you know physical slapstick yeah it's it's reality TV slapstick how long have are you doing another you're doing another season of your show yeah we're uh working on season 3 right now is it awful to do that much work uh it can't be on days when it's it's not working mmm days when it's not working I mean you can say about any job but I don't know I I can tell you this it's way better than back when I had nothing to do when I was staring at my phone yeah but there's definitely days when it's it's not working and it's like anything any job some days it's great and you loving it and then other times you're like oh my god how is it only 11:30 did you love animated shows like I just always wondered like no I just love being able to say what I want to say without a bunch of [ __ ] [ __ ] tweeting about it and for some reason you could do that in animation alright that's why that's why I went into it really yeah I didn't know that well cuz I was telling all these stories on stage and it was like this this I feel bad for Millennials everybody shits on them it's not their fault it's the people who raised him yeah and everything got like labeled and like those holes not even people who raised him it's this social media [ __ ] that came out which is just a horrible for the most part experiment that's gone wrong and everything just got labeled so all these stories that were funny and you could just bow you know I had a dad like that alright and my brother was like that or the guy down the street was like that everything got labeled too that's emotional abuse physical abuse bullying fat shaming you know all of it write down the thing so it's just this landmine of groans yeah trying to just tell the [ __ ] story and it's and then I get up stage everything oh my god yeah my brain would say my brother was like that blah blah and I just got sick of I just stopped telling stories like that on stage but and then I was walking my dog and I was thinking how the hell can I tell him and I don't know if I had watched a cartoon or something I was like what if I just animate him and I was just gonna make little animated shorts a little violin it shorts for like most comedians I say I'm gonna do it and I never did it and then I meant Vince Vaughn and all those guys through Steve Byrne and oh and my pilots never got picked up so I was like now I don't have a show idea yeah they never get picked up and I'm not taking myself off the table for a year so if you guys have a movie or a TV and you want to cast me in something I will do that and then they go okay all right now I'm walking around oh this and I kind of felt bad like well you know I kinda have this idea for an animated show and they were looking to do one so they literally I was literally walking out the door they go let's hear it I told the tomb and then you know those guys are like amazing over there Wild West and they got me in touch with they brought in Mike Price from The Simpsons - great Mike Price and together we co-created the show hey there we are it's amazing man yeah it's awesome oh thank you and you could run for I mean animated shows if I can go forever man that's kind of it I guess I I well if I'm sick of it I won't do it anymore but I'm not sick of it I'm still having fun how many in a show like that because it's funny - with Netflix you know you get into one show and you're like how many episodes are in the season it's like eight you know cut damn it and then the next show you pull up has 13 and the next show I mean what is like a riot is ten okay yeah okay that's cool it's not bad but if they're hour-long things even if it's a good show it does kind of feel like all of a sudden you've dumped all this work in your lap like I gotta sit down and watch all of these yeah and then if the story starts to go a little in a way that you don't want any like a half [ __ ] well things get I mean some of the shows like house of cards definitely got wacky as as the seasons progressed I never could I never got into that yeah I was writing like the asides to the camera yeah like that's the senator and he's a hooba-dooba I just [ __ ] I guess they really gonna do this every [ __ ] ten minutes yeah that breaking of the fourth [ __ ] wall I hate that [ __ ] I didn't like it in Ferris Bueller's Day Off yeah yeah either do the [ __ ] movie or make a documentary I don't like this hybrid [ __ ] like I'm suppose to be excited and I'm like oh he's talking to me there's like I don't know there's story I agree that that device can be distracting but the stories like the writing everything was I thought spot-on so good season 1 season 2 got started off just like crazy I like mid season 3 season 4 you're like what yeah but it's hardest it's hard yeah to keep it going this guy pizza dough and you just keep spinning it eventually you know there's no no show at some point other than like the wire breaking bad there's a few that just somehow just stuck the landing the whole way but it's the hardest thing in the world you know to keep going and not eventually you know have people going like you know oh my goodness it doesn't I don't like this character and then you got any after a while you exhaust all your characters that's not worried about our show because people always [ __ ] die on our show yeah he's introducing characters and then somebody gets killed so hopefully this season you know we're still working on it nobody dies that's awesome that's fantastic yeah I'm a big fan man so congratulations on all that for real thank you yeah I love you even just the way he goes yeah thank you you know what he was just so you know congratulations but this is the lack of a moat like like our relationship is him trying to do that and then sees me looking at him like you're a psycho and then he laughs and he has like this infectious laughs and he just pulls me back in like most of my most of my brain is saying I got to get away from this guy because he's gonna [ __ ] hit me over the head with a hammer but then that laughs I love his laugh yeah do people ever tell you especially after he was caught and then the movie started to come out that you have a look of Whitey Bulger is that a thing for you or no no never no I could totally see you well actually I see it too but I mean if they shoot another one I think the role was down to me and Johnny Depp and they were like which way do we go I think the last thing I said to the casting directors look but wait I'm already bald you think I'm actually going up but you think he got offered that he's [ __ ] Johnny yeah no but I figured you know they'd be like it's bill Bird [ __ ] let's take a look bilberry sells no movie tickets you sold out an improv hey didn't you have a clip from a bill show Oh is this here I don't know reducer sends us folders of [ __ ] I don't know this is it what is this black guys who love to [ __ ] and [ __ ] good if you're a hot black guy you want to [ __ ] me at 2395 if you want to move in you can move in but you gotta [ __ ] me I mean I need to be [ __ ] a lot man get ripped free free free rent and everything else man deal man that from your show no I'm just fascinated by that guy that's about his freeze that gets his mother sees that like re-rent you get free food you the reason why he's alone is he suffocates you yeah yeah he's a very needy very I need to be [ __ ] and to be [ __ ] like you know if you were into that that he'd be enjoyable for about two three days tire you out yeah men from jail homeless or your thug gonna come move in a friend come with you man freer educate loosen a key [ __ ] his song he beat me at home you know you see me when I come over today and try it out try it out man try it out what do you think no I'm just trying to think what happened he definitely was not built up as a child no your name all that stuff beat me pee on me and all that it's just like your parents are just I think this whole childhoods were just yelling you're not good enough yeah it's probably disappointing you I wish the kid across the street was my son and not use this horrible [ __ ] I felt bad for that guy I know every time it's funny however yeah but you know what's funny is like he so hates himself that he just [ __ ] he doesn't give a [ __ ] yeah I mean how do you get like this no how does he have a jolly good what do you mean rent-free like what are you doing does he drive like a UPS truck and like what he does in his own time he's not but we can't give many black and I partners though that deliver in the white neighborhoods so we keep that side of what do you think about drug use what do you think's going yeah I think he's a little high yeah rings around the eyes are pretty serious I think but that's such a crazy mustache that if he shaved that off I don't think I'd recognize him I didn't even really think about the mustache it's a good point every Cheech Marin yeah it's like dated it's very good look and if he wants to attract my piss let me try it out he replied homeless [ __ ] man I'm looking for hardcore guys I mean it do it mean it I want to deliver it I'm a high pop my trash come dump let's [ __ ] true it's a good offer rent free he's a hot [ __ ] dumpster yeah he's got a lot going on doesn't he have enough pain in his life he's got to be on this show - that was actually if you did that in a movie if that was the character you would be nominated because that was an amazing performance I actually when I was kind of addicted to was his cadence yeah the way he had a very unique way of see you know it's sort of somebody sent a there's a interesting speech pattern here yes it's like a he'll be always that might be the drug thing like it's yeah I've never been like a hardcore drug guy so I don't know we what that is that's tweaking is that what the kids say yeah twittering oh he's tweaking well we play a lot of times interesting speech patterns so people have when he comes off the meth gun he just looks on his phone again just so you know he gave out his home address on this video we had the decency to block that out but he gives his street address yeah yeah if you want to try yeah it's not a good thing the internet is not a good thing as but as much as we would all still be struggling if it wasn't the Internet you know it's good for comedians it's been great for Queens for the most part you can still get in trouble but like for people like that you know he just would have been muttering that around his house true or maybe out in his front yard two people walking and then he could deny it you could denied yes you did day it was your word against theirs and you actually had to prove [ __ ] and now there's like video evidence and now it's gone past that now or if it's just somebody gives a really good detailed story people just go well I mean how could you make something like that up yeah and that's become due process I feel like now too aren't we moving towards an age where like you remember remember when the Clippers owner got into like trouble and he yeah they recorded his conversation yeah the mistress did and released it don't you think we're I mean it might be past our life you don't think the police are gonna tap into that hey Siri how many [ __ ] Keys does an alligator have those stupid [ __ ] commercials they all you you're recording your entire [ __ ] personal life that's what I'm saying you are gonna be somebody's gonna and even if in there you all do every rule somebody hacks into that yang I'm saying that and they will they will [ __ ] they will do their their cut of the film of your life and they'll make you look however the [ __ ] you want people are self duck it's dumb to have this [ __ ] thing laying around it's gonna happen sooner than we think where you're gonna your work conversations anything you said will be able someone will be able to pull that out at some point and be like this is what bill said but this is you know what the thing about that all of that [ __ ] is is you have to like this is a time to be fearless yeah and I'm finding everybody is like so many people agree on so many different things right now that they are so afraid to talk about because you don't want to get in trouble and you don't want to bring it on to you I don't want to get you know I don't want to say anything like it's just you know you got a like you know where they all black tuxedo yeah you know where we're fighting for their freedom like anything about foreign policy anything about all these sexual harassment cases there anything about any it's like there is this one line of [ __ ] thought that you can have and if you don't have that 100% if you go a little bit out of the turn go oh hey there's a little dizzy know there's degrees any of that [ __ ] out the [ __ ] wall yeah I in care to its heightened almost no it's heightened in social media too because there's always been these nut bags that'll latch onto one thing you say but now they can or gate online and they can become an angry mob and now corporations listen to these idiot angry mobs and like what you're saying with the sexual harassment stuff it's bad enough just being accused of it and now everything gets taken from you and there is no due process there is no like there's no degrees hey this guy's rapist hey this guy said something well hey I had a bad date and then it's just all that's out I don't know out in the freakin woods - behind your ear / and then like some of this [ __ ] like I don't know like what is the endgame it's like these people are they not allowed to ever earn a living again yeah are they supposed to become homeless I just you know I don't know and but this is the thing obviously that behavior is completely unacceptable you shouldn't be doing it but the way that they're there I just love it this way it's like this [ __ ] was like a [ __ ] pressure cooker because no one was listening so in a way it's it's deserving on the male side that this is happening but it's [ __ ] exploding now but any sort of like hey okay okay let's let's let's find out what happened yeah well you know it there's this Lana there's none of that I've actually heard the argument that we shouldn't break down and explain the degrees and the differences of these accusations like I've heard I think that's because there needs to be a corrective first right there needs to be a correction the pendulum like bill said was so far on this end and everybody's so [ __ ] angry so now the pendulums way here and now with the last thing with the Aziz story I think people are starting to go we'll wait a minute maybe there's gray areas to the discussion it's not just there's gray areas look at people who created law who are way smarter than me yeah you know what I mean that this is misdemeanors and the murder one murder two this manslaughter people that are in this thing with with their anger especially if they're emotional about it don't even want to entertain that conversation they are just like it's it's like you you're trying to sell somebody like hey armed robbery and shoplifting or different right and they're saying no I'll let's say somebody took something that's the same yeah take care like we're I think you're being unreasonable because you're so emotional which is a totally fair thing to say but everybody else who's kind of thinking logically I think is open to the idea that the majorities of people are cuz time I've said that on stage yeah like there's no like oh my god heckling shouting down there's no like [ __ ] problems is same thing when you talk about the war there hasn't really been he prompted and everybody is afraid to like you know it's it's not good to you know when it sits this level of emotional reaction yeah to to just just lay back and just be like just okay just don't get involved don't get involved because it's gonna you know god I mean that you know the thing about a sex thing is if you if you just get accused of it I'd say the longest time like if you get accused of rape they shouldn't show you face a name until you're convicted right because once somebody just gets accuses you of it yeah yeah and not to mention even if you were just accused of it like everybody in your own like personal life you work it that's gonna get out of course and now social media everyone's gonna rat you out anyways and it's just like there's there's no come back from that and if you're actually innocent and I've seen people going like well the instances of that are really rare it's like they look him up yeah there's enough of them that there should be some sort of thing like that but I just don't think you can keep anything under a lid anymore but I really do believe that it's a time for like you know to not be afraid when you're on stage especially as a comedian like all like they they're just starting to like you know paint it's a weirdest thing like when I was I was on stage I was joking well there's like this younger crowd and usually when you get to my age you suck it in 50 it's like you kind of become like the cornball like hey take my wife please you know like your style becomes old but they are so under a microscope they act like old people so like I was watching I was at a show last night it was a couple guys like my age we're like the edgy guys right she'd be the corn balls right looking at the 20 so zero in the crowd being like Jesus crisis these people are gonna be running the nation oh my god remember back in our day we just did dick jokes what are these I'm not really saying the comedians I'm just saying the way the crowd yes it's like you're unfuckin doing a whole bunch of old people on a cruise ship yeah yeah yeah you know it's interesting we had dinner with someone that has three 25 year old children and he was saying how these kids are so terrified now because of the whole yeah you know me too or the sexual harassment stuff they're so under a microscope like you said that every move is like can I ask a graph I don't know how to do that like they're so too much that that's that was at the Laugh Factory and as I was walking out I was looking at my phone and there was a waitress in front of me and like I don't I didn't see her and I bumped it like bumped into like her backside like her back all the way down I sorry about that yeah that's cool on stage I've been doing this bit about the degrees of the sexual harassment things like how they're basically it's a bit about that I did it in Phoenix Honolulu I did it at the store well you're working the road people I get you but I did it at a fundraiser show here booth man well when aids well anytime you do a fundraiser people are in this phony sort of I have to pretend I care yeah yeah so it and it goes beyond you obviously care cuz you're there yeah but there is the cause but then it seeps into everything else yeah you know and then it becomes like oh you just but I'd usually one line mm-hmm usually like gets rid of it or whatever you don't I mean if you just call him on it then they can kind of like relax but yeah that didn't my show it was it went pretty it went south pretty pretty badly you weren't able to recover I was able to recover after more than a moment and there was a little bit of chaos in the room that's how that's not oh yeah it was a totally you like that it was like fuel it was fun yeah yeah yeah so I mean if you're steering into it but I'm saying I hadn't experienced that real action doing that bit in other words my experience sometimes you have bits where you like I know this is going to run into like a huge pushback this wasn't that bit to me because I had done it that was my leg I had done it in places and it was always like a bit that worked and then this was the first time where I was oh that's always funny way like ah this one's gonna get cuz you've done like obviously everyone know you've done a ton of specials do you have in your catalogue a bit that you're like that's the one that infuriated people the most in other words from you know so I gotta be honest I don't believe in that [ __ ] none of it I am I mean I I've read it but it's it's just it's silly silly I said you know if you want to get like if you're like one stood out look I know that I don't mean it anything in a malicious way right so somebody on the internet why or whatever they watch it they have the right to take it like I said it seriously I mean if you want to do that yeah but just because you think that I meant it seriously doesn't mean I now meant it seriously I don't control the [ __ ] universe and yeah I like when they argue with you like now it's just joking no yeah I can tell you but blood blood so it's like okay so you know what my intent and my thoughts are more than I do yeah like that's what your argument is right now I guess they're just saying I'm a liar I don't know but it's just like it goes nowhere yeah and you make their day if you write back and forth and fortunately I've always been at this level in the business where like I don't I don't get like too many of those types of things but I also think that the stuff that I say isn't that crazy like I don't I don't I'm not really super dark I'm not yeah you know I'm just sort of a always had just a loud guy at the bar who's just you know you think he's making sense and then you find out he flunked everything in high school you know this guy's just an idiot that is a great description of you yeah yeah I don't mean the idiot part I mean the loud guy everything really bad in school oh yeah yeah I did I did really well in elementary school and then I did pretty good in junior high and then when it mattered like high school or what they looked at that's when like kind of the wheels fell off but uh you know my favorite thing is about um like when I hang out with comics what I want to know the most I would love a fifteen minute documentary on every comics like house like that where they grew up like I would love to see like a short doc is it Netflix doing that they're just gonna Whittle the SPECIAL down to absolutely nothing comedians houses would you love though to see like Bill's folks were siblings that would be the best I want it I want to hear every I want to hear the therapy version I want to watch mom and dad fight I want to watch like it's just intrigued creeps me out really no like I don't like this Oh like I like I felt like what that is zis story like I started to read it's just like dude I don't wanna know about his private dick this is not my was your nods line of my [ __ ] business yeah yeah but just you doing that just you doing that you know you all you heard was one side of the story and that's that's not how Court works all I totally agree if you just heard one side every [ __ ] thing would be a conviction it would be compelling yeah everything would be compelling him a totally [ __ ] it makes sense it's when you hear the other person's side that's where the art is and then trying to sift through look at somebody yeah and look at how somebody's like a motion cuz I ran into somebody and they were talking about how they had some of that [ __ ] going on and they were like well you know I mean that's just how it is in full of bone and was very like laid-back about it and I was just thinking I would be [ __ ] livid yeah yeah so I was thinking like that that's not a good so I don't know what happened really but if I was in the jury I'd be like that's not the [ __ ] reaction even though he's saying I'm innocent I'm innocent I was just sort of listening going like you know you sound like you're in a [ __ ] yoga class yeah he's like at this how it goes yeah it's just like okay i think about louis c.k and i love him so much and I I want like I feel like he should just be punished like we should just shame him a little bit but not take away everything right well doesn't that feel fairly or I will shame him a bit I think that get him to knock it off I think that the work was actually going to happen is a version of what you're saying because the shaming has happened the punishment has happened and then it's just time so at a certain time it's not like dude there's so many people they want to see him and and see what he has to say and just art it'll be the best special ever league in five years I don't know how long but it'll definitely happen without a doubt unless he's like I'm [ __ ] done with all this so don't be yeah move to France they would definitely walk a bit they always do yeah the French this is nonsense you jerked off everybody yeah don't they think that what's happening now is ridiculous at American Women's Catherine would know and fentanyl and brigitte bardot it's nonsense yeah there's so in doctrine and there are women that are saying it it's probably somewhere in the middle like the French get too much respect for like oh they can have mistresses and it's just sort of acceptable yeah go over it over there like you know like in Paris or whatever that there there is a misery to that place I mean I I don't I don't think that there is like because I used to look at that and I used to be like okay are they just like honest are they just like in the future mm-hmm or did they take like a wrong turn and I think it's a little bit of both yeah they are in the future and they also took a wrong turn and I just think it it all depends on how you're wired to like plug it in so I don't know those are my new points of view by the way well I just make sure that I say like this is what I think but I don't [ __ ] know because I'm so sick of people talking about yeah absolutes I unfollowed a lot of people too unlike Twitter like with the people who go into Lenny Bruce mode and all they can do is just tweet about Trump would be like so this happened and then they put the thing on there and it's just like it's just and now every [ __ ] day every [ __ ] second and it's just like okay and what's the solution right I don't have any I'm just gonna show you all this negative [ __ ] yeah from this point of view that's gonna have you like it's like it's depressing it is it is depressing yeah yeah like I said I was I was in like indulging newse [ __ ] 24/7 from the like Election Day through the Naga written in like months and months and months at a certain point the I think another like Steve Martin comedian right it's right right now for another just Steve Martin just silly silly yeah silly but there was a brilliance behind yes what he was doing like that I don't you mean like silly stupid or silly brilliant a Libra like this is a good moment for that thanks so [ __ ] heavy and I don't know and I love silly so I'm looking for cuz I know it's not me so I'm looking forward to whoever the [ __ ] it's gonna be now you have a child are you raising your child matter gender pronoun oh no I just throw food into a room in the general direction are you raising your child by the gender binary right you call you Hershey or is it um this as a I I would never do that to my kid may not well I get into something right I always get into [ __ ] and then a year later I don't give a [ __ ] about it this kid has like a developing brain I'm gonna dump like my what it might [ __ ] my own constitution is [ __ ] on like I just feel like that is like adult stuff and you should allow kids to be kids oh I just can't I can they have a [ __ ] child because right now what I love about when I grew up was I was allowed to be a kid yeah and like you know I didn't like this like the stuff that these [ __ ] kids could you could see any up beheadings hardcore and all of this [ __ ] did you think they could have access to so I would never have sex some sort of political agenda as to way um but are you gonna force your child to be recognizes female girl yeah are you gonna say like you get them choose your gender later what do you mean force my kid to be right kids a girl no that's a objective now you didn't know that you're actually it's kind of a form of child abuse if you didn't make to make is because their sexual organs are anyway I don't agree with that and good luck to how you want to raise your kid and I'm gonna raise my kid the way I want to okay I feel like you're just to be a Sweden is good thinking country in the world when it comes to questioning gender the gender neutral pronoun hen is now commonly used by most Swedes this is Niko's room and holders Niko Niko's two and a half I makers almost five and a half question is a shame to being called the woman or a man or a boy or a girl as it's shameful it's what the idea is that you are gonna force your child to be to gender identify as female even though just because her sexual organs are my daughter is a girl I mean and if she wants to work on carburetors or yeah do some quote guys [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] yeah cuz then once you have two kids if you have a boy and a girl you always have to say their names then yeah yeah this over and over and over again well just go hen came in here and pissed on the floor which hen what's wrong with that like colors I hope you're not forcing her to wear pink I would just not hurt I would appreciate if you'd stop saying her I'm sorry that they can yeah I mean here's the thing there's this big mystery people don't realize that sexual organs don't dictate your gender that's just a sexual organ that's the point bill I don't know if you can wrap your [ __ ] head around that I yeah you know I must be a caveman yeah you can do whatever you want to do as long as you're not hurting people I don't know I don't have a [ __ ] problem with that we just would like you to open your mind to maybe letting your child decide what Drive my mind I listen to you I don't agree with what you're saying and it's my kid now razor the way her hostile pronouns bamni the sexy word boom with does not dictate your gender identity yeah very sight of you okay I absolutely 100 then okay but I don't think a pronoun dictates no and I don't mean to be like all male by saying dicks is gendered white privilige gum which you are right in there heterosexual you were right in there white woman's saying white privilege to me it's just because there slightly less than mine it's so [ __ ] annoying I used to do a bit about that all the white women crying when Hillary Clinton lost like their lives are gonna be that affected like I said we're gonna be drinking that glass of Rosie at 4:00 in the afternoon creeping up to 358 do I have a problem yeah I gotta be honest with you like I since becoming a parent I'm still a rookie obviously only a year in there's a lot of [ __ ] that other parents say to me or stuff that they're doing that I observe it and I just [ __ ] I just fade back yeah what's your call because I I understand how much they love their kid so then I'm not gonna go in and [ __ ] with whatever it is that they're doing which is why it's so crazy that these people who've decided to do this not that that they've decided to do this hen thing is that they're now gonna [ __ ] attack people who don't right right which is where all that you're not liberal anymore right are you you are a fascist a fascist liberal yes that's what you are they're your but this is the thing though they are a very small portion of the population who knows where where the pressure points are and they go after advertising money and then everybody caves in and everybody has to live off of money so everybody gets afraid like oh [ __ ] if I don't start saying hand and if I don't start saying this then I'm gonna lose my job I can't we're gonna become homeless we're gonna live in our cars yeah it's gonna be cars I just said this yeah and these minority the very small group of people like you said these far far far left paper tiger and everybody's folding yeah it's really interesting how they got to dictate the norms now like these these outliers of society you're like because people are choosing self-preservation yeah over logic chicken shits over yes the sky is falling and it's a [ __ ] a corner your head and I'm not saying that that all that hen [ __ ] is [ __ ] it's it's like the they're what they're trying to do is a good thing their heart is in the right place but to then become like this [ __ ] fists that it's just beating on people everyone else has to do yeah yeah that's uh you know if I'm cool with you doing it and I'm doing it my way and I'm not forcing you to do it my way then like why can't you give me that same common courtesy as an adult I guess they feel oppressed too because I guess they feel like well I've been having to do it your way first all this time we should all do it my way now or something I don't know I'm just trying to think about that but it's like I didn't come up with the way and I never told you to do it your way but then it's also like that would just be like you know somebody murdered my family so now I'm gonna go out and start murdering other people's families right that'd be fun and then I'd be like then I'm right we use he for them sometimes it's mixed and it depends you know because in Sweden we have hen the gender-neutral pronoun in Swedish I think Mika has always said when I've asked it's been she or Ken so the other thing is you could also do changing pronouns if you wanted to do that with your child like have let them I don't think I've ever given a [ __ ] less about a topic if this is what people want to do go ahead go ahead and do it but you know there's like certain things like you just you know certain things you come in you're like hey you know like there's a lot of stuff in education that blows my mind that people are talking about that I I but I am open to everything look this is a thing too if people across the street use Han or whatever the [ __ ] they're gonna say in this county and that's what they want me to do I'll do it when I'm addressing their kids but when I'm in my house I'm gonna do what I want to do if you don't mind yeah yeah I don't have a problem with that that I sorry yeah [ __ ] off yeah you want to come over for barbecue yeah one thing we may hands would you have a barbecue with the hens if they weren't [ __ ] yeah if they weren't constantly dumping their [ __ ] agenda and then also like secretly trying to put their agenda into my kid like like a [ __ ] lunatic in the burger and then they'd be talking no that's saying parents of [ __ ] psychos they do that like they like if you like raising your kid is like a vegetarian and [ __ ] like people who eat meat like they want they want like people which is the humans the big flaw that we got is that a lot of times we we want to we want to win more than finding out what's right right you just want to win totally so it can cause you to do [ __ ] like that and you know and I bet I've been guilty of it oh that's a hand from [ __ ] Sweden do you feel you want to be right a lot no I want to win you want to win himself wait no I would love to find out what all the right answers are yeah but you want to win but yeah I find like when I'll be argue with my wife that I want to win but over the years as I've matured I want to win for less time right if I know I'm wrong right I'll be I got you know what you're right you're I I've found I shouldn't have said [ __ ] [ __ ] come I shouldn't have said that in the ROG door that the being right thing for me is the urge was strongest always with my mom and that as I've gotten older become a parent and just realize how how much energy it takes that I constantly throw in the towel before it starts just I don't even I don't care about winning I just it's like self-preservation is a that is a high level of existing that I'm trying to get to just like this I did real well over the last couple of years especially like you know holidays or like big get-togethers where when people start [ __ ] doing their oh my god Hillary Clinton oh my god Trump they're by the left oh my god the right the [ __ ] transgender people whatever topic they're talking of and somebody is just going on like a rant and if they say something that I don't necessarily agree with I used to I would have just [ __ ] go write like a mosh pit I would go right in the middle of it now what I do is my default thing now is to myself I just go oh boy yeah that's it and then I and I'm trying to go back to the old school rules and used to be you didn't talk politics or religion at a social thing it was considered rude yeah and because it's gonna cause fights and it was like one of those things and and you'd never ever had a political or religious argument with someone who didn't agree with me we're in the end we've been like you know what now I think the way you think of course all you do is blow out your voice scream and yell feel yeah yeah you've just yeah and then you terrible your bad mood you're gonna get in your car you're gonna drive like an [ __ ] yeah and it's just you just gotta save it for the stage now I'll just be like hey this person said this I'll say my point to a crowd mm-hmm you know and then maybe I'll get heckled like that'll be like the worst argument I'll get and but I just you know I don't I don't I don't have any answer student and I and I don't want to argue with people anymore so I can't just I just cannot okay I just do it to avoid the feeling of how upset I'll know I'll get oh boy you know yeah that's my own well boy yeah no no no a good point I actually go ignite I see what you're saying even when it's like totally opposite I'll go yeah I know what you mean I see what you mean said I want to fight with them I don't wanna argue yeah but people like it's funny like they try to like put their like agenda in that could just be hanging out with your kids and stuff yeah yeah isn't she cute with that little toy phone that she has you know I'll tell you what if Trump passes this bill but blah blah all right yeah yeah yeah are you uh are you Road Dogg in it right now or no I took January off because it was my daughter's birthday and I just wanted a whole month like a sultan yeah yeah at lambeau no I did I made her a cake though that's nice so that's my tradition like every year I'm gonna make her a cake so hopefully it'll make up for you know my outbursts or whatever which I'm really gonna try not to do mm-hmm yeah I got a lot of work to do that so she won't eventually hate me someday do you think about that I think about all the time long time no because I am a very capable person if you live with me I have my good qualities or whatever it's weird man if I could just stay in the energy that I am right now yeah if I could just stay in this during times of heightened emotion yeah it's really my goal because I think if I learned how to do that the I would I'm doing everything else fine yeah and if I could just but that thing is so bad yeah it's like water damage it leaks into air all areas of my life I could just get that under control that energy yeah it's like what could she [ __ ] about right right I saw you I got a job I'm bringing in good money we'll live in a great life right you don't really have any wants yeah what's you know I cook I like doing dishes Jesus you know yeah [ __ ] maniac I'm a maniac dude i I just I wake up like my motors running and I get [ __ ] done you know we were at that party but yeah I snapped like you know too much is it is it really often the snapping it's it's you know I I want to say it's gotten better but she doesn't seem much happier you really know you know I I gotta work on it I remember uh we know we ran at each other at that party a few weeks ago remember that no recollection yes okay that was one of the things that left was like man you seem like you're in a really good mood that's what was my was my thought about Wow like you were like just like you just found out I don't know that they [ __ ] sold the house or some [ __ ] yeah like you were just like yeah it's such a happy demeanor I was like jeez yeah it wasn't a good that's good I know I don't get that review that often so yeah that's good yeah I might even have to tell my wife that I think you know that party we went to Tom Segura said that I had a really really nice energy you know I played drums with somebody the other day and they and she was on bass and she said you got you got a good energy this is [ __ ] that I've never heard I was like wow yeah that's what I took away from that part of it really good I think he's way you're what you see much happier than the first time you did the show I'd say you seem a lot happier I don't bring you back to that that actually breaks my heart like the eggshells that you just said there was I don't want to be that guy never wanted to be that guy and I became that I became that guy cuz you you just a little more introverted I think in a little more maybe distrustful it felt well back then I'll absolutely yeah had the guard up yeah the guard you know where is it coming from you're like I'm [ __ ] I was like the black dude and predators shaving my head I could see yeah so what what do you think hat like lessened that over that I got out of conspiracy theory I stopped doing that because it was just becoming insane and I was becoming that guy that you didn't want to talk to and I stopped watching the news because I just realized it's just like I can't solve any of these problems yeah and knowing that they exist makes me sad so I just watched sports and you know I hang out with my kid and I'm all about the movement but I'm not the leader of the movement right okay if somebody wants to [ __ ] figure out how to clean up all that trash in the Pacific Ocean I'm all about it I don't know how to do it but I'm not gonna watch a documentary looking at it and seeing my all my toothbrushes from my entire life still floating out there cuz they made out of plastic like I need a new toothbrush right now and I can't get myself to [ __ ] buy one cuz I'm like this thing is gonna be in the ocean 200 years after I'm dead broken down into like little particles that a porpoise is gonna breathe into because god forbid you know I got a cavity so I'm [ __ ] with this thing in the middle that lives thousands of miles not even in the same like world as me can I send you equip I don't know what equipment so with a new toothbrush oh you know you look you're looking to write a prescription I feel like this is the end of a therapy session I'm gonna send you equip okay let me see what is equip it's a toothbrush is it a good one yeah it's really good fancy really fancy one try it out is this how you handle your relationships and people what I was just should have bitched about something bigger yeah [ __ ] hate my car get you car now you've been with your lovely wife for how long how long you guys been together oh I don't know like 14 15 years it's cracking yeah it's good run I love them more than ever oh it's nice I know it's refreshing I hate when people hate their spouses you can always hi [ __ ] about her onstage but I love her no but you meant it I [ __ ] saw that bit and you meant it alright don't yell at me so through the dresser no you're always looking for ways to spice it up every relationship is one ring that to me I'm wondering if that's what you're looking at you don't say that are you will consider something different you know it's funny is they like if you switch their hair they could be each other that's awesome yeah oh you and your wife go to a con hugging seminar if we send you that no because that would it would just interfere with all the things I'm trying to succeed with like if I could just keno a water bottle you just touch it with your fingertips will bring you to orgasm I would never be able that's amazing yeah good for them that they've found that dude they're full of [ __ ] though well I think it'll be weird when they have a baby and that was something realize how soft it isn't just know now they're too open when they become like I'm just loving in a different way than you would you deal with your if your wife came home was like we need to start getting into tantric stuff I'm booked a seminar I would say no I'm not going do you want to read up on it once you go to like a public sex thing with other couples it's just you like the the fortress you've left the gate open yeah and some weirdo that is gonna come [ __ ] and I shouldn't judge some [ __ ] person that's in this [ __ ] that I'm not into is gonna get in there and you know and it's just yeah you think they're gonna infiltrate your wife in your relationship yeah I just think you're just bringing something that's yeah you open in Pandora's box that's a wise that's a wise now what if she were to get into other things exploring her femininity listen Erica saw a clip we could show him about the woman who was exploring her femininity oh yeah yeah yeah guys do the long setups we can just watch funny clips if you want to no no it's just we wanted to see oh how I felt about it yeah if your wife were to suddenly do something like this yeah you have great glasses by the way thanks I just got that my visions getting terrible my tattoo do you look good in those like I've tried on glasses it's not a good thing no the first thing I thought of those real effective I actually first I was like is that that woman from the bangles that I had the crush yeah this woman she's coming with finger paint no and I just want to share with all of you why Donnie - yeah chamois placing menstrual blood all over my face and what power it holds for us as women to fully earn this part of self that we've been shaming so much yeah so now the overcorrection yeah sure regret the videos oh yeah yeah yeah but she'll get away no she'll get away with it good she's beautiful now what kind of reaction do you think she would have gotten if she did black guys who want to [ __ ] [ __ ] it for free man I'd put out that video this we wouldn't we wouldn't have seen it because there's so many there's so much of that like that guy was just gonna you flipped the script yeah he he might actually been reading from somebody out there have been plagiarism but it yeah that's like we know that that used to be a brilliant fit but now it's a hacky thing when somebody like croons like psycho lyrics to a song switching it up yeah yeah sure that that's basically what that guy was doing yeah a nice way it's interesting you brought up her looks because what we're saying a few episodes ago if this were not an attractive woman there would be a whole different reaction I mean the fact that she might have created a new genre of porn yeah that period on the player blood on her face yeah like if that woman was at the hugging seminar I might have been more open to it and I'm really sick of like people like that's another thing like regular looking people all the way to ugly people trying to convince us that that are our standards of beauty were somehow [ __ ] beautiful and especially naked we should be most upsetting with children when there's ugly children and people keep saying that like you're beautiful it upsets me so much you know I'm thinking more of adults yeah I'm thinking of this movement okay yeah oh boy I'm talking about where they're like the the morbidly obese runway modeling and you're like but we're beautiful and you're like I don't think I think if you're gonna be in a movie you should be if you're gonna get naked on film yeah TV movie you should be in the best [ __ ] shading possibly yeah or you go the other way for the laugh right what you're doing it for the left but like to sit there and just show off and unworked out body and say that that's brave right it's like the brave 'ti is the person who has to look at it yeah because listen we all look at each other's [ __ ] regular bodies you know it when you're in a relationship yeah because you love the other person right you have to love somebody right you know what I mean that's what's amazing about beautiful people is you're not in love with them but you can see them naked right like that's how that's that's that's really in shape right I mean I know the whole idea is like no one wants you to see me naked I joke you know what I look like naked I look like I have the exact same body is the Pink Panther just a big head and it's just straight down no ass and then I have like a pig bath it was like a first trimester yeah like and but there was but we live in an age though that if I was completely naked I would be called brave courageous rather than [ __ ] rude yeah and inconsiderate to make you guys look at me oh yeah I mean I've been asked I mean be shirtless I'm like it's disgusting like is it for because it's funny because if it's going to be funny that's one thing but like yeah I know if like it can I act like I think I'm good-looking right right then I would do it right but if I'm gonna do it like yeah man area this is my body deal with it and and and and literally put the pressure on you to not laugh at me and ridicule me is I am living in such a world of [ __ ] delusion I don't have any [ __ ] pigment yeah just for me you no matter what shape I got into to take my shirt off I would be blinding people right yeah I am I have other things that I'm good at right I convinced huh you can bake I can think yeah that's it make Oh what do you make you can I get errands done I'm really good at that am i doing dishes he likes doing dishes really come to ours we hate it but don't you think because beauty is a commodity you know models these chicks everyone makes fun of they might who knows if they're intelligent or anyone but that's a special thing if you're born remember in the 70s if you were born and you had nice teeth and real big tits not fakers isn't before cosmo your surgery that was a really big deal the HOV Lane yeah yeah that was special you know now you can go to the surgeon and have whatever correct it but back then beauty was a real come on I know is a gift I hate the lie of beauty so much like the idea that we're gonna act like these really beautiful people are you know not special they are thank ya I get in a debate with my wife because she goes if people want to do that it makes them feel better about themselves it's fine which is a very enlightened yeah point of view I look at it is you quit you gave in its week what what plastic surgery well it's an extreme stupid opinion but it's what I just I'm of the belief especially in this business to age naturally yeah you're gonna look way better yeah angry cuz trying to be 50 and looking like you're 25 you're just gonna look weird yeah yeah it never looks you never look 25 you love to see and you but you kept yourself in shape and you look 43 that's about is the best yeah that you can hope for but as you get older you know and it's it's like you're gonna you you start to look [ __ ] not know what yeah but you can play like a character or something like yeah I love these people who are still like in your 50 you're gonna be the next Brad Pitt yeah it's like it would have happened by now right just stop trying to be good-looking here and just be a [ __ ] regulator that beat you gotta get on that thing so like literally what they're doing with looks would be like if somebody who sucks at math should now like design a plane and get into [ __ ] aviation so everybody else has to crash and die because this person feels bad yeah that they're not good at math like you got to be like like part of being successful is is not only figuring out what you're good at but figuring out what you suck at so you don't waste time do I have not wasted one day of my life trying to become a male model like what a [ __ ] treadmill that would be to be on when I started what have you started now Abby fans over the hot mama I'll be great yeah if I did that it would just be it would if I was serious it would just be unintentional comedy and then I would make it I'd already Kuehl yeah but you know like I look at somebody like Pamela Anderson who at her heyday you really she's sure she defined the 90s right and then you know as we all do we all get older and and to try to maintain the persona you had 20 years ago 30 years ago no but that's so regular looking hair like myself if you actually resent good-looking people which I don't I love him I love looking at the [ __ ] I didn't move in one time I would say who was this person was so beautiful like I never had this thought before I was like her forearms were beautiful yeah like that's like the level of genetics it's just like you were just like sculpted yeah you know I can't remember my point because I just started thinking perform the thing is is the all of those people that I guess these people have issues with it oh my god she's so beautiful and they don't [ __ ] work for anything the thing about it is is this the expiration date yeah and those people never aged well because everybody's look like I love they people go my god did you see so-and-so what the [ __ ] happened to her did you see someone's what happened it's like dude what happened to you yeah yeah it's like they're coming down to your [ __ ] level and you weren't good-looking to begin with and you're 20 years older do you think you look better they need like everybody what happened everybody that's right everybody looks older so but what you're saying is true cuz we talked about that on the show that cut the cosmetic surgery thing yeah you just look so nice and the truth is I mean even though it you can give it to both sides I've seen it more now you know traveling and stuff is like guys that do it these men that the pull back their foreheads don't move have a bad wig and then they they're older and they have just blinding white teeth because they got different ears are like make them make them super white oh yeah it looks like it looks like a spotlight from a stadium yeah Harvey like LED lights on kind of a Jeep and they while they start looking like raceless yeah like that's not a white dude anymore that's not Asian I don't know it's like are you an alien yeah I do did you just [ __ ] land there and you don't know what it is true you know with the fake Tanner the lit up yeah just like and then there's something that you do with your eyes yeah you just you become like a like I don't know what it is it's almost like animation you know like the Simpsons look like they jus like they're like like like live-action/animated people it's and it stands out more maybe because it's newer for men but like when it's men I just you know say when I did the Duke company one coming up I can hyper date during the Irvine improv on the 30th and 31st of January that was the first time like I used to think that like the Real Housewives of Orange County I say okay they all right they they picked like some extreme people from down here and I went down and I did it and like I saw like nine people that had like back when Bruce was Bruce the Bruce Jenner [ __ ] I job like walking around the mall all yeah they all had like those laminated face like it my eyes were like watering looking at them like going like they look like something like I hated hot wax on their face you don't look younger you just look like that face what you're talking about the pulled and the lips that are so smooth yeah shine and the neck always gives you away you know it's where those if you if you keep working out like your body can stay looking young but your head I don't know what the [ __ ] it is with your head there's like no sit-ups or anything for your head like I don't you keep you ahead in shape your heads but your head just gives it away your head rest that's the ring on the [ __ ] because it's outside your shirt like the rescue body's like covered up this is just taken the weather hey will you put up that picture of Dennis the guy from cathouse the the pimp oh yeah I bet [ __ ] stage great you know a new gimps like when they're that whole zipped up [ __ ] leather suit the floor it's like they're in a human wine cellar all day but dennis is a great example of that that super white white venire yeah and yeah he looks like [ __ ] God if you get the super white venire then you have to get the fake tan yes then you got something and you start wearing like you know the guys who keep wearing tank like guys who keep wearing tank tops past a certain age it's like the only way that works is if you're totally Jack or you're a fat [ __ ] yeah well if you just have like those those old arms look like before he got them okay so this is this is just regular teeth like you just look like a regular [ __ ] sick love that watch and everybody who doesn't know this is the bunny ranch owner the famous bunny ranch owner has the the show was called cathouse yeah yeah it was on HBO for a show called whorehouse its cathouse bel it's different it's human trafficking house that was taken it's legal a lot of shows out there we've run out of name to like a name a stand-up special enough like oh it's the worst that was the worst experience latest one I don't know the first two were easy from couldn't name the third one I just was like sending in submissions and I was like what do you think of these six titles no I didn't know what to say I didn't know what to call it you named them well you've had good names no thank you walk your way okay here's his latest one looks totally different trying to find a to go see that's a problem bill is that those red flags I just find him so endearing my husband denied those are not those are crazy those are crazy teeth yeah the thing is too like what what you're supposed to do it I worked in a dental office with my dad for a while what you're supposed to do is when you fix somebody it's supposed to be subtle yes like because they totally not only did they whiten them up and they obviously fix that chip tooth yeah you want to do a little composite action there on number nine sorry it's all coming back they totally change the alignment of the teeth and then they're so perfect you know when somebody's yard is so landscaped like you know you're not supposed to walk on it yes like you literally can't walk on the grass like you can't have teeth like that well and you can't I guess you can cuz I have veneers my two fronts cuz I knocked one of them out as a kid they say they have to be somewhat translucent light has to go through them yes so when the people get them they look like Chiclets when they're just white white white and like just like bricks in your mouth that's when they look terrible you also get them like glass or something yeah this is the craziest mozzarella balls like the the craziest one I saw he looks better here yeah with this natural teeth danny aiello cuz the teeth match the age of the face his yeah so his is like here's his normal this is like his not a great actor by the way but come on these new ones I mean those are nuts those are crazy here's the thing they make you know about why make veneers now that will be like oh they'll be nice but they'll they'll have like normal color just like I'm saying but like that's super way he just what is that is that maybe a cap or Celyn he just went like a straight what is it bathroom redundant material [ __ ] great I know I'm just say I'm not trying to make fun I'm just saying that the teeth replacement didn't go well I just think it's too white when's the last time you went to the dentist last month I'm actually doing it there's a line right now good for you because I you know I never had braces I just lucked out that they came in pretty straight but as you get older like I don't know like your jaw keeps growing and stuff and stuff so I'm not saying this guy's you know they took a 3d model to put my teeth we're gonna look like it's tough and he scared the [ __ ] out of me it was like I was gonna like mr. ed psychic a bald redhead and havin [ __ ] Freddie Mercury smile sixteen weeks of these things and I'm about seven weeks in so okay and then at the rusty life you just at night you just went a night guard which is fine because I grind my teeth anyways because I even when I sleep by stress like I gotta get this done er yeah so yeah now had you had your wisdom teeth removed yeah oh so that I thought that would prevent that from happening but apparently not no I just noticed down here they were just getting more and more crooked and it was funny like that I I thought like it was these that where the problem was actually behind was like pushing on them and like it's pretty amazing though but every every every week like you put a new one in like on Wednesday so that [ __ ] hurts you on Wednesday right and they just move it just incrementally it's nice you know considering like at the point the age that I'm at everything is slowly tapering off it's nice to have something going like a positive direction and can you eat with them in or do you have to take them out and then you got to brush your teeth and floss because this animals that I know I know it's just like if you do that for a week like not it's no longer Invisalign it's like no I saw what you had to eat for the rest of the whole it's like a retainer I had braces and retainers it's similar but nice dentition is how it said let me see what you got going on on that great teeth I've never had braces anything but they you can't even see his bottom teeth no no somewhere between what you got in Danny's get yeah really see your bottom teeth when you smile look but you never even see his bottom teeth when he talks when he does his bottom lip is so big I feel or what is that [ __ ] man yeah lay off I don't see yours when you talk yeah say so no no now you're trying now you're thinking about your mouth I'm gonna steal a look you can see you look I can see your bottom teeth when you talk I can see both yours because I got this [ __ ] mouth guard in my mouth I'm also not a good looking person we can't see it well that's a silly smile that's not a deliberate assault it's a Casillas you grew up a wrestling fan yeah do you know about this like there's like the you know whatever the single a League of wrestling like this is like like guys that like wrestling and kind of do amateur style oh cool open mic wrestling open mic wrestling is the best we can describe it and you're speaking of speech patterns so this was sent in as an interesting speech pattern this guy named Lou Jean I'm just gonna throw it to you and I want you to give your opinions and your feeling I love this already listen up Lou Jane this freight train I seent your video what you calling you - about me and stuff they ain't gonna happen to me on July 27 listen up you're ugly short part you ain't gonna take this belt from me Lou Jane I'm sure you're old school I asked where I represent you from my old school just a new school Lou Jane is that the real-life Cleveland feels like it right it sounds like you know what I I would definitely watch this and I love this [ __ ] Village People guy on the [ __ ] left GG Allin I actually could be a stunt double of him I'm not you could worked out though yeah it sounds like Forrest Gump yeah he's like a big speech pattern you know that listen up Luger I don't think he's putting it on I don't know no that guy is a scary dude because his Tony yell and because it was calm and he's a big guy yeah like that guy I think when the bell rings he might not hear it and he might keep going what happened what happened there I just wanted to kill feels something beautiful was that Fight Club moment I said that movie once Of Mice and Men that's what oh yeah remember he loves him so much that he kills them all yeah did you cry when you read it like you finally related to somebody yes I got really emotional actually in there I've never read Lenny no no there's a few things like I never movie never saw Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory till I was like 40 oh really so then I finally just heard I could leave how dark it was I loved it rate I just saw some kids movie no oh my god my wife was like the other night she goes you want to go the movies I was like yeah let's go the movies she goes you know I see like Jumanji or like Star Wars and I was like no she goes why not I go cuz I'm an adult oh my god we're trapped in a board game yeah I'm 49 years old I can't [ __ ] watch that god bless everybody in it they made a ton of [ __ ] money but that movie and that movie wasn't for me exactly yeah so that would be like the short part I've watched this you ain't gonna take this belt from me luge a fright trying you know I don't like to see in movie theaters Luke I hate seeing [ __ ] bomber movies like you want to see the movie about the guy who's got cancer I don't enough don't you [ __ ] watch this for two other white bummers I feel like is a white boy like and then the baby had kin yeah dude I couldn't Casey Affleck his performance is amazing I I [ __ ] had to get up and walk out which one is Manchester by the sea yeah I would never see that I didn't have a kid at that point I don't know they all came in the screeners all came in last year we got a stack and we were like white bummer white bummer white bum and then it was moonlight like black bummer moonlight was like aids and like I don't want to watch any of these you know it's funny I saw a moon is it moonlight I think Simon Lee yeah like yeah I said moonlight I know it's supposed to be I know it's fair no I saw that and I have no idea how it ends really that I can never remember him really no I can't I would oh I saw the usual suspects I I daydreamed in the middle of it I'd like massive crazy ad D back then yeah and I lost focus so I didn't really pay attention so in the end happen everyone was like freaking out around me and I was just like I don't I won't remember the movie so I'll be able to go back and go see it again but what happened was it became such a legendary movie yeah that everybody said oh my god the ending so I you put it I know why not no no I was never able to go back oh and yeah yeah yeah no as it was happening I was like oh so this was all right I'm trying to ruin it for anybody I understood what happened but I didn't I wasn't on the ride did you enjoy moonlight if that's what it's called yeah I did yeah I really like that movie like I like I like movies where I think like okay that would happen that's that's a natural reaction bla bla like I either want it to be like totally over the top blowing everything up or just an absurd comedy or like something that seems like this is really happening that [ __ ] that exists in the middle yeah that passes itself off is like a real gritty movie and it's just like people not holding guns right and [ __ ] like this yeah stuff like that it starts to annoy me after whoa yeah I like grounded I like grounded comedies where it's like it's not big studio comedy of like you know like dude the nice guys yeah yeah one of my favorite [ __ ] movie yeah yeah Ryan Gosling in Russell Crowe Russell Crowe I was a good movie loved that movie I like those types I like dark comedies but then I just honestly the only thing I really want to see that I really go for our thrillers I love suspense I love like a political thriller I love you know murder mystery all that stuff that's entertainment to me I hate horror films horror I'm not in I just hate to have in the [ __ ] skate army because I always take the ride on him yeah like everyone Blair which came on everything scare me that movie scared the [ __ ] on him really I did a set at the Laugh Factory and I went I saw the midnight showing by myself and later on and I walked in the parking garage by myself I mean I was waiting to see some dude standing in the corner facing the wall freaked you out that did the ring freaked me out yeah I what was that Bob dog dog dog do you ever see that [ __ ] one no I forget that by that [ __ ] and there's nothing to I will little I literally get angry if there's a horror movie and there's some kid little kid in trouble like I get mad at the movie like what now what a [ __ ] what I want to watch is no we just started dark I can't watch it on Netflix but the serious German - German serious like it's a big hit have you you don't yeah I'm gonna watch a German hormone oh no no it's a series that's the monster [ __ ] on somebody it's like a stranger things but German kind of but there's a kid that goes missing I can't I can't watch [ __ ] say you know we start law and order Special Victims Unit don't even show me that I don't go from Happy Days to that I know Special Victims Unit which is like these are the most egregious violent sexual crimes you know we started watching on Netflix everyone's [ __ ] on and we're actually enjoying is that movie bright I want to see that I was expecting like a hate watch like a haha yeah I never do that yeah I know I think that's bad karma to watch something anything artistic you're gonna watch it because it sucks there's a few thing I guess I just watch that wrestling thing but like I don't do that because I feel bad for the people II if it's a guy like you know who's had great movies yeah yeah yeah and you know sometimes they just don't come together right now yeah so but you're good guy man your empathy yeah I do yeah I actually do as much as my [ __ ] is I am yeah yeah I actually you know I don't this is might think I don't like kicking somebody when they're down I don't but I'm sure you could go back to my act I'm sure I'm guilty of it I'm also a hypocrite though so there you go there you go force a bill chorus funny heap said oh I got it Irvine dates of course they're all sold out you can see him in Christ and hold him again and Reno the Reno ballroom Santa Barbara the Arlington Theatre he's gonna do the Patrice O'Neal benefit in New York February yes that's right only a few tickets left you're going to be in Vancouver and check it out and show your bottom teeth [Music] okay okay ready here you go would you rather this is just specific for you I crafted this one just for you okay would you rather from now on you're known as the non-binary comedian hen bill burr hen right I love this already I feel like I need to reinvent myself at this point in my career so I like this so far and you're kind of gonna do an Eddie Izzard thing where you maybe you want you might wear like high heels and a skirt for the first half of your show and then you might gender flux in the middle of your set and then go back to being a man what does gender flux mean good question so gender is the flute wasn't condescending at all genders fluid it's it's a it can change throughout the course of the hour the damn hand could be she to start the show and he by the end of the show you could be asked for sir could be dog and their mission which I think would be advisable where you switch genders so like your first half like she said is an address maybe you can I pick the shoes can they have like that the ones that don't hurt your back the one with the less sexier Leto one big square one oh right yeah yeah wedges I'm going to a barn raising yeah okay so you're the nan by ear bill burr or the non-binary comedians very in right now or you're bill burr the race comedian where you do kind of what Don Rickles and Lisa Lampanelli we're doing you know so it's like can I do it as like a Tony Clifton type character or do I have to believe it well you know it's you know no he gave me this is a character it's not your no right or bill birth or race I would do the binary thing absolutely really so you could do with all the material you want but at your presentation will just be as ten base I absolutely I probably have more female fans might [ __ ] fan bases of sausage festival yes yeah you know so I'd maybe have that Prince vibe he's in drogyn Asst yeah you know so you'd go for that do some of my jokes in falsetto learn a couple of languages okay he's in that's good Albert in a dress and heels and not addressing it would be the [ __ ] most and you can't be like this is because we're crystal it's so courageousness so woke woke AF you know I mean coming out okay okay so you're the non-binary comedian very good yeah good here's another landing in Irvine by the way they didn't mention I'm going to be wearing a dress yes okay would you rather everywhere you go you have to run to get there I'm out doing that I don't even care what the next one is my back can't take it it's literally like you go to the next room in your house to say it's a five no always running it never stretching just always running someone knocked on your front door you have to run there you to run on stage or join Isis Isis let's get those [ __ ] infidels or every time you speak you're shouting so you're basically a toddler your your soul hurt my voice two doors yes a little bit yeah of course either of these are going to be fun you have to go like the phony hello yeah like that you always you see everything in that range I understand it I'm fine Nicole find a loophole I would just ignore people so then I wouldn't have to talk to him and then when they I just wait till they save my name ten times and I'd be like what so it made sense there's a loophole you need your health in am i I bite my body would just hurt so much if I think is that you're sweet what you love be like Bill yeah yeah do you think you get yeah and then your sweet daughter but I could explain to what you're gonna have to do the purchase yeah whispered during the movie [Laughter] I actually good that would be fun my wife was into it I would just be totally having sex you like that it would where I would just duck take a pillow around my but if you run everywhere you'd be in great shape there you go and you can maintain your human relationships yeah you wouldn't yell it but it's it's as simple it's like you have to go piss in the middle tonight no but I would be miserable would start yelling at people because your body can't take that yeah yeah but you get used to it what do you mean you begin fantastic sure I would just like to love it that's all you need to be in fantastic shape and unit you don't get used to it your body breaks down he goes into the back to the line they're like your next Sprint's up hey someone to make a deposit and they're like all right have to start flying private so you're gonna take shouting uh made me laugh so yeah it takes shouting I told you I just I wouldn't talk to people a lot yeah but your act you're gonna have to shout I would write out books and I would live alone you couldn't do the audible version of the book though sure I after a while we're not talked to but yeah then abut that what if I wanna oh yeah does it talk those hard ones I maybe I would choose running no me neither what I think I'd kill myself you know one of those would lead me to suicide that's the point yeah Tom what would you choose running or yelling yelling look at him he's completely out of shape I'm not I run and lift weights no you don't I swear to you I never do I always do you should feel bad about yourself Phil I've been doing aiming you Shay me I could do it more is judging you all right husky you know like in the 70s when they used to have that size Husky rescue James yeah you'd be a husky when you're a boy you're Vicky oh you're just a thick E yeah thick boy nation that's one part of thi CC no I would definitely not take running I would take running maybe not pregnant but if I weren't pregnant I just run everywhere be good for you get my I hate exercise yeah no this way to get it out of the way you'd be insane you'd feel the sense of urgency other they both make you feel safe take a shower run into yoga class and run out but they'd also be crazy if you're like yeah yeah you could hide the having to run everywhere more yeah yeah hey Bill can you come here for a second ah busy yeah exactly I said come here for a second not in a second yeah yeah go to commercial boom there's you think this might be a sitcom this could be these two people live together I'll stop running if you stop shouting we can't we played would you rather so we're stuck in this agreement yeah that's the stake if you want to move in you come that guy's fascinating I want to him talk about other [ __ ] that's fantastic bill thanks a lot for coming over great time with you as always nice [ __ ] now you do yeah it's just no just looking at you're the psycho look on your face as you say that's just [ __ ] great everything is cycle for me I didn't realize that he's right bill burr calm for your tickets to all his recent okay and yeah you can listen to his wonderful podcast the Monday morning podcast you can watch f is for family it's on Netflix he has 13 stand-up comedy specials and hen has their head now you're on the program good now you're finally getting finally geez alright so that's it gene anything else that's it go to the site your mom's house try it out it's not that I'm cheap it's just that this is gonna exist in the ocean forever so I might as well [ __ ] drink it right there you go try it out yeah this song you beat me alright bye guys thanks so much genes on the day before the 70th birthday we're gonna get down get up until we're gonna have a swinging time get a grip up on the pole I'm going downtown to the watering hole gonna have our sale to 69 69 69 eat that scrub eat that all the time get a grip upon the pole I'm doing downtown to the watering hole gonna have ourselves 69 [Music]

Channel: YMH Studios

Views: 2,630,528

Keywords: ymh, your mom's house, your moms house, tom segura, christina pazsitzky, christina p, mommies, jeans, up, high and tight, what's with the jeans, denim on denim, podcast, bill burr, mmp, monday morning podcast, comedian, comics, stand up comedy, chappelle's show, breaking bad, netflix

Id: tcC4ZeABv7I

Length: 113min 26sec (6806 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 30 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/thehornedone]

Bill talking about Tom being a functioning psychopath while Tom giggled uncontrollably was fucking hilarious.

[u/norwalian]

Cheers for the heads up. Took a break from the mommies a few months back - those 30 minute intro adverts were a bummer.