X-Men: The Last Stand - Nostalgia Critic

this episode brought to you by stamps.com why go to the store to get stamps when you can have them printed right at home for your convenience [Music] previously on exports 13 years ago hey what's up I just saw x-men 3 yeah how was it it was awful really they focused a ton on Wolverine yeah like everyone dies do they even kill off Xavier oh my god this sounds like the worst movie ever it is I'm gonna hang up now because of how angry I am as you should good bye Billy hey what's up I just saw Logan yeah how was it really they focus a ton on Wolverine yeah like everyone died dude oh my god this sounds like the best movie ever it is I'm gonna hang up now because of how happy I am as you should this was worth staying in the same spot and never changing my clothes for a decade [Music] [Music] hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic I remember it so you don't have to and welcome back to X month well now we look at one of the most hated x-men movies if not the most hated x-men movie x-men the last and what the drinking sure now being filled by Brett Ratner from one not a controversial director to another it's been the last damn wasn't less than a critical darling and an absolutely despised addition to the x-men franchise fans hated how many characters died how unfocused it was how it seemed to amount to nothing how would kill President Kennedy how it caused the Great Depression and how it directed nor mother nor to you couldn't contain the amount of hatred this movie got and still gets today I kind of have a soft spot for okay I'm not insane I know this movie is bad and doesn't work from a structural standpoint it's one of the worst sequels ever made especially when you get to the end but after how boring and Wow is the other two were out of the original three I kind of consider this one the most entertaining it has the most wrists the most action the most color the most mutants and the most compelling ideas outside of just torturing socks oh sure it's story and characters are weak and the ending doesn't really go anywhere but I'm trying to use to that in these movies by now I mean what's worse safe bland middle-of-the-road tedium or batshit insanity that never once left you bored well that's the geeky complication we're gonna analyze here today let's take a look at the clearly bad my opinion enjoyably bad x-men the last step the film opens several years ago with a mostly convincing age restoration of Xavier played again by Patrick Stewart magneto on the other hand played again by Iain McKellen is looking more like a ps4 character when are you gonna stop lecturing me then you start listening yeah because I need you oh yes the pictures have told us they go to visit a young Jean Grey who apparently has unbelievable powers to make people look less like their action figures Jeanne's powers seem to be running amok but xavier says he can help her control it did you think you were the only one of your kind yet and I hope never to bring this up or think about it the majority of times we meet Oh Jean by the way to save all the mutants of the world it'd be extremely helpful if you could you know unleash that most powerful entity in the universe thing nothing nada got this better make more sense when your sons are stuck meanwhile at a later date gasp this a timeline or a math problem we get a pretty grisly scene of a young mutant trying to cut his wings from his back this kid deserves a freakin Oscar for the less than one minute of acting that he's given Wow I can't wait to see the development they give this character to justify such horrific imagery how much screen time does he have should i get used to things being dramatically built up with no payoff back in the not-too-distant future x' Pass we see storm played again by Halle Berry and Wolverine played again by Hugh Jackman trainee young mutants in a lawsuit battlefield the whole world's gonna know you're just gonna sit there come on it's the third one we're all on autopilot here we couldn't kill down here oh you read the reviews Logan has non-russian Colossus throw them at the threat and the sigh of disappointment is given when you realize the upside-down fakes Sentinel head is far better looking than the actual Sentinels we would get later class dismissed BB I love him they turn off the holodeck I mean Danger Room and they're both owned by the same guy as rogue Anna Paquin is pissed at her boyfriend Iceman is getting too friendly with another mutant named Kitty Pryde played by Ellen Page something's wrong what's wrong is I can't touch my boyfriend without killing him other than that I'm wonderful again nailing her character great and I ever flirt me for showing you you're a guy Bobby reminds on me on one point I'm gonna go talk to that gambit boy no wait that's what the fans would want we don't do that in these movies meanwhile Cyclops james marsden is having trouble coping with genes death from the last movie I know how you feel don't when gene died I said don't maybe it's time for us to move on you and I that one night of passion it's over now not everybody heals as fast as you love it well I am pretty awesome we then cut the Beast I mean Beast I mean kelsey grammer is beast I mean Beast yeah they mail beef it's amazing how well the gatha's character down from his casting to his makeup to his sophistication to his animal-like fighting even him reading upside down next to Wolverine and Xavier this is as perfect a realization of a cinematic x-man can be a major pharmaceutical company has developed a mutant antibody a way to suppress the mutant x-gene permanently how am I taking him so seriously when that ridiculous amount of makeup is staring back at me he looks like a Rogaine Smurf and yet I'm hanging off of his every word even the world they inhabit seems a little bit more evolved as mutants are now being hired into political office and people focus lesson wiping them out as much as helping them out so even that's quite a loaded issue as well apparently a quote cure for mutation has been found ironically in a mutant who can take people's powers away if they come near him they transform this into a drug that can take mutant powers away and unsurprisingly this causes a lot of controversy I mean what kind of coward would take it just to fit it is it cowardice to save oneself from persecution this is a callback to one of the best x-men cartoons entitled the cure we're mutants try to figure out whether or not it's ethical to be free of their powers give this movie credit for asking similar difficult questions is mutation something to be fixed like bad vision or is it a part of your identity and what makes you who you are should you change or society change mutants have different responses depending on their powers not all of us can fit in so easily you don't [ __ ] on the furniture is it true they can cure us they can give us real access there's nothing to cure that's wrong with you or any of us for that matter I do also give credit that storm has a bit more character in this than the previous films though maybe it's just a better wake their affliction is nothing more than a disease and this site once the world's most famous prison will now be the source of freedom yes I'm sure going to Alcatraz to have people who see you as a disease genetically alter you won't be intimidating at all these so-called mutants are people just like us but I stand here today to tell you that there's hope you know I want to listen to this guy but I keep looking around expecting to see one of the Penguins goons to flip in and steal his baby however some groups are taking this further as magneto infiltrates an angry gathering of mutants by the way doesn't anyone clean up churches in the not-too-distant future make no mistake my brothers they will draw a first blood any question is who will you stand with the humans or us I'll be selling my CDs in the back I live stream Thursdays it's all pretty tough for a guy in a cape you know you're talking to do you the gritty reboot of Sonic the Hedgehog meanwhile Cyclops returns to her Jean was lost but discovers she's not quite dead now you know every stone dead in a moment there's sadly a lot of truth to that she shows off to Cyclops how powerful she's become by coming back to life controlling his laser eyes and as if that wasn't enough she blows him up oh no not Cyclops he was a character anyway I've seen Westworld I know he'll be right back get to alkali lake Xavier feels a great disturbance in the x4 so he sends storm and Logan to check it out and they discover Jean is still alive but how can that be well that much built-up Phoenix saga is about to pay off involving aliens and Firebirds and several levels of psychological and physical identity powers wrapped her in a cocoon of telekinetic energy ok Jean develops a dual personality that in our sessions came to call itself the Phoenix what what there's a woman in front of us the Jean Grey we know or the Phoenix furiously struggling to be free so no aliens no Firebirds only one personality and all this is happening because of water yeah they say Xavier kept it dormant but they never said what triggered it back to full four so the only conclusion we can come to is water just add water boom crazy boy The Wizard of Oz would have been a different flake if that was the outcome oh no you don't you even wish don't be go part of my yeah Dorothy what did you think would happen well I thought she would melt that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say no I thought that you know Oh mom's still here so the first person to be given the cure is the creator's son the boy we saw in the opening named Archangel in that the credits call on that but nobody in the movie ever does I promise you oh man I'm glad he didn't take it oh not for any ethical reasons it's just the wings of the only way I can tell him apart from Malfoy and just to be overly dramatic divorce her for practical people I'm here to shove a visual metaphor down moviegoers throats maybe then metaphor would have worked if it wasn't used on characters who had less than five minutes on screen both the person being watched and the person watching are barely in this weird hell feeling for an image and relating to an image seem to be intertwined now I'm sure this will be underwhelming too as magneto plans to break out mystique who's been captured by law officials not what isn't gonna use this deadly marbles again maybe lift a car well that was awesome oh I mean uh nothing's good in this movie he puts her out which I kind of enjoy seeing how she broke him out in the previous film and yeah well in this mutant criminal grocery store he decides to go shopping James madrix he was arrested for being set to McFarlane five times when once was already too many what did they call you juggernaut he was arrested for quoting internet memes oh the juggle yeah yeah we'll get to it one of the guards try shooting the Cure at them as mystique gets hid and transforms into a human thus magneto abandons her presumably because she lied about being a real redhead now on the one hand I kind of like this it emphasizes how deep his prejudice goes and like no sack see [ __ ] bigots he's consistent in how hypocritical he is but there is one huge problem with this the situation should go more like oh dear well I better take you to my machine that turns people into mutants I know it had a few problems but with me being a scientist and there being great breakthroughs in DNA transformation you can totally work with this oh wait I guess that's off the table now okay laters I mean the fact that you grew up as a save your sister was totally fine but yeah that still doesn't connect to any of these beasts is outraged that the Cure has been weaponized without his knowledge thus he tells the president he's resigning someone fire or resigning from the president's cabinet man that's rare these days have you even begun to think what a slippery slope you're on I have and I worry about how democracy survives when one man can move cities with his mind that's do I you and I know that it's only going to get worse all the more reason why I need to be where I belong Wow both of them are asking very tough polarizing questions kinda makes you wonder what you would do if you were put in a similar scenario no I mean it sucks every part of this sucks it's transformers twelve meanwhile the supposed and most dangerous mutant in the world wakes up with just Wolverine as security you know it's becoming easier and easier to believe that the apocalypse happened four in these movies one of them is called that and it appears she's not in control that remarkable metal doesn't run through your entire body does it but Fifty Shades of Jean Grey will have to wait as she busts out and goes to her parents despite her parents never showing up in the rest of the movie it's not the first time in these films someone abandons what's supposed to be the most important what the hell are you doing here visiting about a friend magneto and his goons are there as well that's Xavier in him agreed to approach her alone I came to bring Jean home don't interfere Attica just like old times huh she needs help okay this visual needs sitcom music one's a peaceful professor the other a genocidal extremist together they have to convince a woman not to blow up the world because everyone thinks the Dark Phoenix is the only part of the Phoenix there was can they stop her insanity while having a little fun along the way Fox presents jean-luc and Gandalf some wacky wood from wacky Brits they do a good job making Jean pretty intimidating and downright creepy at times but we're going back to her childhood home there's no exploring her past her psychology what led her to this mental state she just starts tossing [ __ ] yeah that's not like the Phoenix had any mental play whatsoever that's it even the fight despite it being impressively choreographed doesn't make a whole lot of sense magneto says nobody can suicide well obviously the first thing to do then is throw them inside so let's be honest that was only done for this stunt which makes no sense but I still frigging love yes gene takes house-flipping a little too seriously Xavier gives Logan one final look before being turned into powder deck slacks that's the look of a guy saying you're going to be changing me in the near future so x-man Xavier is extinct as magneto steals Jean away and the x-men realized they have to carry on not only without their leader Cyclops but without their mentor Xavier as well gee I've never seen that done in these movies before we must carry on his vision Oh world unite this hits our x-men pretty hard especially on which one was Juno again kitty oh yeah Kitty Pryde it has been over 40 minutes since we've given her or Iceman a scene so yeah there's nothing to help get over the death of your mentor like flirting with someone you barely know why your current girlfriend watches what Amex hold where you going you don't know what it's like to be afraid of your powers hello I want to be able to touch people Logan I hope you're not doing this for some boy no it's for some boy oh yeah that's totally what I'm doing well if you want to go then go just be sure it's what you want well I don't know if it's what I want I haven't asked Bobby yet [Applause] [Music] to a snack uh Douglas don't you ever knock Douglas were you looking at stamps Douglas it's not what you think Douglas I think it's time we had a talk Douglas it's perfectly normal for a human being to want to look at stamps Douglas do you really mean it Douglas the only problem is it's such a hassle to go to the post office to pick them up Douglas you shouldn't have to go to the post office or just look at them online you can print them out at home at stamps.com Douglas Wow of course I'm talking no one really is time to go to the post office as Douglass's we're busy that's why stamps.com is there as one of the most popular time-saving tools for small businesses Douglas you know when you mail out merchandise you have to go to the post office to get a stamp well you don't have to with stamps com Douglas that's amazing Douglas I like pointing over that way for some reason Wow stamps.com brings the amazing services of the US Postal Service right to your computer whether you're a small office sending invoices and online sellers shipping out products or even warehouse sending out thousands of packages stamps com can handle it all with ease Wow Douglas stop saying that Wow that list I take it back it's growing on me Wow Douglas it's annoying me again but stamps.com is and how Iowa simply use your computer to print official US postage 24/7 for any letter any package any class of mail anywhere you want to send once your mail is ready just hand it to your mail carrier or drop it in the mailbox it's that simple Wow plus I just haven't said Douglas for a while so I'm saying Douglas Wow with stamps come you give five cents off every first class stamp and up to 40% off Priority Mail not to mention it's a fraction of the cost of those expensive postage meters stamps.com is a no-brainer saving you time and money it's no wonder over 700 thousand small businesses already used stamps calm Wow unless I actually have a special offer for the people watching right now notice that's right we're being watched it's kind of creepy my viewers get a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long-term commitment just go this stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type nostalgia that stamps comm enter nostalgia Douglas you see stamps are a wonderful thing especially with stamps.com there I go pointing that way again Douglas thank you for being so understanding about stamps it makes me not feel so bad that I look up envelopes hey Vance com why go to the store to get stamps when you can have them printed right at home for your convenience hey everybody just letting you know we're gonna be at c2e2 in Chicago that's me Brad Jones Rob Malcolm Tamra and a whole bunch of the channel awesome gang are gonna be there we also have a panel movies everybody disagrees with you on where you get to talk about the movie that everybody well disagrees with you on it's your panel it's a lot of fun we've got the booth that this kinda ton of times it's a lot of fun and we'll see you there [Applause] so remember how Jean even though she wasn't really developed I mean okay we're used to that in these movies but she was at least a little creepy we'll talk about the window as for the majority of the rest of the movie she does nothing but give one blank stare again something we sadly become familiar with in these films she made her choice now it's time we make ours so if you're with us then be with us again give credit that at least storm has a bit more character taking a little bit more charge and this maybe kind of ties into fans that believe she should have been the leader of the x-men instead of Cyclops but every time Jean is even close to being more developed they always push away in some cases literally like when Wolverine tries to track her down I came for key you think I'm keeping her against her will sorry we're paying her by the line in this one you've just seen the deal we got with Cyclops you don't know what you're dealing with I know full well I'm gonna make you do stupid things we're getting yourself now go [Music] look out you'll run into ash from people there too [Music] the SWAT team finds Magneto's army but it turns out it was just multiple man as a diversion okay I give up ah now I'm gonna be sent back to jail and have my powers taken away why did I agree to this magneto is actually throwing a mutant pride parade as he plans to get his army to Alcatraz via the holy [ __ ] amazing scene [Music] [Applause] Jesus Christ that's not x-men at all no no no that's you never see that in a comic and it's not imaginative not big or epic or anything like that is it's it's lazy it's it's it's stupid it's incompetent it's God that still holds up though it is funny how it goes from dusk to complete night in a matter of a few seconds and I do mean a few seconds actually that reminds me hey then we haven't seem to shoot at dusk today yeah but since it starts at 5:00 and it's 5 o'clock right now but that should give us plenty of time to shoot no it's actually 501 now we just missed it curses how did this happen I don't know climate change how's that affect the sunset I don't know she's always climate change things are always so strange we do too or around that's weird just things get a lot more normal when you aren't around Magneto's army plans to kill the boy supplying the cure but they have a lot of obstacles to get through in chess the pawns go first I call them the test audience but the x-men show up to stop them and the not the least bit kickass climax begins [Applause] just trying to find something awesome in this movie like juggernaut and kitty pryde chasing each other to concrete walls pedestrian setting projectile cars on fire boring kelsey grammer as beast watching into the air roaring and ripping people to shreds Oh have you even read an x-men comic where's Xavier showing a girl around cerebro for hours that's the kind of excitement that ignites the imagination oh don't worry though there's still plenty of stupid to go around like this line that launched a million groans don't you know who I am I'm the geminal [ __ ] yeah if you want to know what every x-men fans reaction was to this internet meme suddenly making it into a big blockbuster movie it went exactly like this don't you know who I am I'm the geminal [ __ ] and there's this scene where the mutants tried to kill the scientists in charge you're the guy that invented the Cure right yup that's her please don't do this I don't want to help you people do we look like we need your help all we need is a script doctor yeah thank you to headless screen time than the catering credit got the same as dad because that's what it's all about Wolverine even Maja's to learn how to work with the x-men as a team best defense is a good offense because that's what it's all about also gotta love how beast resigns because they weaponized secure and he uses the weaponized cure to inject magneto you and I know that it's only going to get worse all the more reason why I need to be where I belong in the hypocritical gray zone jacuzzi that this film is keeping me nice and warm in she decides once again to go berserk though as she begins wiping out everybody on the island so far done is it does it look like he's asking the audience that upon finishing the film rock so if I'd done [Applause] you ever wonder if this is Thanos is porn like he just stays up late at night like oh yeah turn them to dust you sexy thing turn them to dust god I'm lonely it looks like Wolverine is the only one who can approach her do two is fast healing I guess that kind of looks like a Firebird even though you promised us an actual Firebird but I guess they meant a symbolic Firebird [Music] what I know you want to see me naked but can I go one of these movies with my body mostly covered I'm tired of people seeing my Hugh Jackman he gets her back to her normal self just so he can kill her yep she came back and went crazy just so she could die again yeah that's actually all they do with her Matt creates Jean man destroys Jean man recreates Jean man destroys Jean man this movie's [ __ ] and the ending only gets worse from here we see Kitty Pryde at Xavier grave because clearly no other character had a stronger connection with him as these movies have now gone full force into making rogue barely recognizable don't 100% unrecognizable as she had her powers taken away it's what I want oh so she did it for herself now let's reconnect with a boy who was about to cheat on you because he couldn't touch you and remind yourself that had nothing to do with him cuz that's what this is all about Hey look Wolverine is proud that beast is back in the white house putting their two-sentence rivalry behind them way to go furball because that's what this was all about Logan tries to figure out if he owns the school or what nothing else is discovered about his past despite the other films talking about it I mean poorly but they did talk about it and we see Magneto's powers are coming back proving the Cure pointless Xavier comes back to life proving his death pointless but that arc angel kid is still flying around in the background for a millisecond thus that's what this was all about I have no idea what this movie was about for a film called the last dance it doesn't stand by jack [ __ ] this movie raises the stakes racist the body count raises the issues and questions and yet never follows all the way through so it ends up saying nothing want proof there's an alternate ending where rogue doesn't get the cure proving even they had no idea what they were trying to say I couldn't do it I'm sorry Bobby this is me the whole movie just feels like a lot of big scenes that never connect or build up to anything and when you have a movie that makes a lot of huge choices resulting in a lot of huge deaths it has to amount to something you can't back down on that with that said well I'm still a lot of amazing scenes to appreciate some great action great effects great makeup great ideas and yes even some great character moments all of these scenes on their own would be fine maybe that's why a lot of them have so many hits on YouTube because individually they're really impressive and deserve more credit when people just scoff that there's nothing good in this bill but it's the equivalent of having all your favorite food on one plate alone they're great altogether it's a giant mess so yes in comparison to the other films that while slow and uneventful did have a beginning middle and end this tosses all of that away for some big scenes that practically destroy what the other films were trying to do in that respect it's one of the worst sequels ever made because it disappointed fans who really got into these movies but for me I never got that much into these movies I thought they were OK at best I watched them because I liked x-men but these films never really represented x-men at least not the x-men I was familiar with they were dull colorless restrictive middle-of-the-road adventures from a franchise that was the exact opposite of that this one at least was big loud fun energetic imaginative visually stunning action-packed and had good dilemmas despite them never following all the way through with it so while it is technically bad when I think of the bombastic cool adrenaline-filled x-men fighting against varying types of prejudice this is the one that gives me a more enjoyable time so it's picking your poison the safer blender but ultimately better put together films or the over-the-top hyper punch fest that constantly insults your intelligence whatever you choose one thing's for sure for some this is an enjoyably bad movie but it is still a bad well that about does it for X month the next week I have a brand new movie to review whom aren't you forgetting something wow he has really repressed x-men origins Wolverine hasn't he yeah that's why I put a copy of it under his desk to remind him he needs to review it I'm the germinal [ __ ] hey Doug Walker here doing the charity shout out and this week we are doing health write international this is a global health and human rights organization that was founded in 1990 their goal is to leverage global resources to address local health challenges and create sustainable solutions they've worked in over 30 countries with current projects in Kenya Mexico Nepal Russia the Ukraine the United States and Vietnam so many people all over the world have been helped by this great organization and you can play a big part in continuing that help click on the link below and show your support for the good things this charity does for good people [Music] you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 1,314,501

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, doug walker, x-men, x-men the last stand, x-men movies, marvel, marvel movies, x-men review, x-men the last stand review, the last stand review, movie, film, marvel movie review, worst x-men movie, comics, comic book movies, bad x-men movies, worst super hero movie, bad comic book movies, worst comic book movie, tamara chambers, malcolm ray, marvel comics, hugh jackman, wolverine, dark phoenix, halle berry, ian mckellen, x-men 3

Id: CfEK6UqAjZE

Length: 32min 29sec (1949 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 20 2019