X-Men - Nostalgia Critic

this episode brought to you by expressvpn the best VPN there is take back your online privacy today [Music] [Music] [Music] hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic guy remember it so you don't have to and welcome to X month we don't have a doorbells libary check that out uh yeah what are you doing here and how do you make that doorbell sound it's one of his many gifts so we trust you remember babysitting our teenage nephew today we weren't you about five months ago yeah but I move studios hoping you wouldn't find me we have eyes everywhere the more I find out about you the less I somehow know we don't actually know when are gonna be done so best play it by ear the why do you have some important stuff to do and you can't drag him along with you no we just don't like spending time with him is that right buddy I don't care dude you can't just leave him here indefinitely so what do you like I don't care it's the following routine just gonna be you answering I don't care to every question I don't care well if I know modern parenting just putting a screen in front of you it's the best way to raise you so two screens must be better you just play on your phone while I watch the first x-men movie x-men you mean like the Marvel Comics yeah I love Marvel Comics yeah what do you think about the Marvel movies they're amazing they're like the comics come to life oh my god well you're gonna love this movie then yeah when this film came out every x-men fan went nuts so this is a really great and faithful Marvel adaptation that's what everyone said at the time and seeing how that was almost 20 years ago on the landscape for comic book movies has barely changed at all I think we're both in for a lot of surprises when x-men came out there was little faith in it with the acceptable ADA comic book movies at the time was seen more and more as a big joke ever since Batman and Robin left a bad mark and everybody's rubber anuses comic book flicks were shown very little dignity and even less ticket sales so when the loud and bombastic yet still poignant and challenging x-men comic was given the big-screen treatment it was not given much of a budget or even much credibility even the trailer has sort of a b-movie sci-fi channel feel to it it looked pretty corny but thankfully the movie didn't suck which immediately meant it was amazing critics praised how they weren't laughing at the comic book film which back then was pretty rare and fans loved seeing a certain amount of dignity I'll hell any amount of dignity given to one of the greatest comic book series ever made but it's not like Doctor Strange where they made a ancient one into Altec woman or like Iron Man 3 were they made the Mandarin not an alien so annoying when they change stuff like that well again I haven't watched in almost 20 years but seeing how people look back on it so fondly it has to be a great adaptation and I'm excited so am i let's go back to the year 2000 when people really knew how to do comic book movies this is x-men that means they're aware of the title mutation the final frontier we open on a brief narration and we early 2000s movie I'm guessing quick fast blurry you know this really was the cinematic equivalent of the upside down visor every time you see it you're so glad it's dead and thus we opened this action-packed comic book superhero movie with a concentration camp nananananana yeah it looks like they're going all the way with this keeping the backstory of classic x-men villain Magneto totally in check with his parents being killed in the Holocaust discovering his mutant powers of magnetism at a young age and creating his hatred for humanity during one of the worst times in humanity's history at a time when the most recent comic book movie was Mystery Men this was a ballsy start wow that really is faithful oh you bet just look at the next scene that takes place in the not-too-distant future when we're introduced to role play by Anna Paquin only a few hundred miles to Anchorage rogue uh-huh that's rogue uh-huh the twenty-something super strong confident one-liner spewing badass that sucks people's energy oh close now she's a teenager who cries a lot is super depressed and can only suck people's energy so not rogue hey come on what was a tortured character yeah but she was still cool because she was confident she had one of the cruelest powers she could never touch anyone without sucking their life away but she turned that angst into something kick-ass not taking from anyone socially or physically you could look up to her because even though you knew she was suffering she still chose to be positive and full of hope that's what made her one of the coolest x-men sure if you want to be right but this character has a lot to look up to like what her angsty face that looks like she's trying not to cheat her pants [Applause] [Music] now that's something I can be inspired by see she's inspiring me already okay in all fairness frogs not a bad character here she still has death as active very well it's just not rogue something continues though we get more faithful interpretations like Charles Xavier played by Patrick Stewart Jean Grey played by famke janssen and Senator Kelly played by torch Costanza's boss are mutants dangerous I propose a poem about Susan's death this senator thinks the evolution of humans or mutants as they're called are a growing threat because their heightened powers are becoming more frequent and powerful a girl in Illinois who can walk through walls now what's to stop her from walking into a bank vault okay can anyone really be taken seriously in front of that Willy Wonka golden ticket mural she's looking like the Virgin onatopp what Xavier sees Kaiser so say oh I mean magneto walking away he's played by Ian McKellen what are you doing here why do I ask questions to which you already know the answers and which one of us is talking right now I confuse us both a lot whatever you're looking for well if you're looking for mental images in my head take a gander at this ah there's plenty more gay Middle Earth porn well that came from this baby's loaded with a mime god damn Gandalf meanwhile Rose powers drain the life out of her boyfriend no he just found out he signed down to three Resident Evil movies and she leaves her home in the south and runs away to northern oh bird oh Christ to hitchhike that far you meet the thumbs of uma Thurman from even cowgirls get the blues I thought you said you're gonna take me as far as Laughlin City this is law for the city even her plan take the absolute ultimate had and Jack Dawson the world on the drawing in a dream if you could fly that'd make more sense yeah we know what you think well maybe this cage fight bar can further her travels he can sing he can dance he can host the Oscars yet somehow he's still a credible badass this is for King Leopold this is for pan this is for not getting Russell Crowe to drop out of Rome is if you're still disciplined they didn't do rogue right check out this introduction did I just turn gay we all do from frame 1 Hugh Jackman got Wolverine down perfect it's the same when Michael Keaton was Batman or Christopher Reeve was Superman you didn't see an actor portrayal you saw a childhood hero come to life sure there's no mask or costume but the overload of adrenaline and testosterone is so heavy it just turned us into steaks I'm a steak and that's okay he wins the fight as rogue hangs around the bar not exactly knowing what to do I love the beer yeah I hear I was supposed to be teamed up with this rogue bomb show as the hots for me and can suck me dry oh god you're not her are you okay fights off Steve Wilkos but can't help but sense teen angst in the air I'm sorry thought you might help me the hell are you doing I mean you call that a southern accent it's not nearly as consistent as my Canadian accent eh he does decide to give her a bit of a break though and the two of them seem to form a bond she even over time starts to see him as a protective role model the first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma I can still feel him that's the same with you wait a minute an insecure teen runaway that looks up to Wolverine that's Jubilee totally rogue it's Jubilee man now that's two characters I'm never gonna see done right in the movies like uh there and there and it may be somehow okay look clearly they want to do like what they did in the cartoon with the young newcomer being introduced to the team serving as the audience but it's Wolverine who's focused on when the x-men are introduced yeah but at the same time she has a much more tragic power she can't touch anything what a great metaphor for teen angst so change the power not the character they could have replaced her with Jubilee and made her powers blow up everything she touches so she still couldn't make contact with anybody in fact Kitty Pryde has a cameo in this and she's a teenager that can disappear through walls not being seen as a far better metaphor for teen angst you could have done either of those faithfully and then save rogue for another movie where she can be older badass and fly no you listen here young man I will not have you badmouth well me and my college friends chose to ignore whatever I'm gonna go back to playing tinder fortnight wait you're gonna miss one of the greatest rivalries ever you see after a tree falls in front of him he suddenly smells spear gum in the air [Music] oh is that Sabretooth damn right that Sabretooth one of the greatest rivalries of all time is Wolverine and Sabretooth it's been going on for years in the comics cartoons games it's a classic feud and now we're guessing it explored here in the movie or you runs away like a have a lot of other characters to establish establish and ruin I don't like you well after that Court unquote panel Wolverine has a much more terrifying nightmare to face waking up without his clothes and being back in school while also being cast in Australia thank you I look forward to you being recast it twice so Wolverine is introduced to Xavier and the x-men who saved him Cyclops played by James Marston and store and played by Halle Berry what is up with that wig looks like got the Queen a dragon okay look here if you keep laughing like that you're gonna miss the incredible romance that rogue cast Oh Jimmy's gambit [Music] Iceman is her love interest well technically it's ice boy what the hell they're one of the coolest couples in comic history and you totally could have made gambit a teenager with how rebellious he is that would have worked fine I thought you were an x-men fan and how are you okay with this you weren't there man we grew up with shakka steel it's Dale Xavier shows Logan that he runs a school for young mutants it's a little weird that rogue is just immediately tossed in a class Oh your runaway who just had your life button get to history class don't you even want to call my pen history class welcome oh it's an ice sculpture of hill it's even more realistic when it starts to melt but the school is merely a public face hello a levels however are an entirely different matter I'm still not sure how I got government funding for a military aircraft most public schools can't even afford the races you know I think it's the chair I play the pity card pretty high meanwhile looks like senator Kelly's off to great more fans but his helicopter is hijacked by Magneto's goons a mutant named toe played by ray park and a shape-shifter named mystique played by Rebecca romaine I assume she's not rogues mother why do you ask questions you already know the answer to [Music] my greatest fantasy is terrifyingly come true they'd taken to Magneto's hideout at the former location of fire festival where magneto has plans for him are you a god-fearing man senator there's such a strange phrase I'm a gods and monsters found myself in one of the film's more brilliant additions magneto makes a machine that's sort of a gay convergence reversal where a person is transformed into a mutant what do you intend to do to me let's just say God works too slow I'm going to pray your humanity away the only downside Christ that is such a boring looking effect if I was to tell you a giant beaming cases you and transforms you and does something else that you'd be excited to see that this just looks like Gosar's fishing net it's actually making me miss sky portals sky portals meanwhile Wolverine and Jean get to know each other better where's your room with Scott down the hall was that your gift putting up in that guy I mean he hasn't had a line yet but the comic says we hate each other I can move things with my mind really what kinds of things I also do amazing things with my thighs but Logan dares her to read his mind so read my mind I'd rather not she refuses then that immediately doesn't what did he mentally convince her and we couldn't hear it read my mind Scott look I thought of him naked once oh you gonna tell me to stay away from me girl if I had to do that she wouldn't be my girl so I guess there is a little development of Cyclops of Wolverines feud but it once again kind of comes out of nowhere and isn't focused on much to feel genuine in the cartoon when their personalities are so well defined one always following the rules the other breaking them but here we know so little of what Cyclops is like we just know he wears Tom Cruise shades so I guess that instantly makes us hate him you know it's weird that the best rivalry in this superhero movies between the two old guys who rarely see each other in the middle of the night Wolverine has a flashback about where he came from rogue tries to wake him but he's not a morning person somehow she absorbs his healing power resulting in her body getting better and I guess the holes in our PJs - sure she'll be alright yeah you're under arrest for stabbing a student wait I forgot one Hogwarts rules anything flies in this damn school meanwhile with Kelly's new mutant abilities he photoshopped himself free and swims to shore and I gotta say with all the cool powers you could have given him British sunbathing it's not one of the more impressive ones even Stan Lee here is like wait when I envisioned x-men as a movie this is not the imagery that came to mind meanwhile mystique disguises herself as Bobby to tell rogue to take her Fiona Apple wardrobe out of here where is she oh she's gone she's gone row I almost said it Xavier uses a device called cerebro to psychically locate her oh I do hope this means more palettes of gray it's not like the x-men ever have much color in it he locates her and Wolverine decides to steal cyclopses bike to find her oh that bike is amazing right how many action scenes is it in well that's what I thought hey this is exciting at five they could get to history class convinces little green Riding Hood to come home while Cyclops and storm search for her in the train station we don't talk to people with you master eyes but things heat up when magneto and Sabretooth attack all right so we're gonna finally see Wolverine and Sabretooth go at it Oh Sabretooth is going after storm and magneto is going after Wolverine it should be the other way around magneto and storm should be tossing things at each other and Wolverine and Sabretooth should be clawing each other's faces off we're halfway through and the greatest rivalry ever hasn't even been built up at all him and mystique barely even talk I can see why they're called mutants because half of them are friggin mute you do have kids with your Marvel movies refusing to fix what's not broken my day spa took orders from a muppet aardvark and we liked it well no we hated it but we liked hating and tell yourself whatever you want see man I'm going to watch The Avengers end game trailer again you know mr. staff isn't in their phony movie phony movie where are you well where are any of us really look you need to come here and collect your kid he's an absolute menace really what did he do he's not liking the x-men movie oh no oh yes you come here and pick him up ASAP well that's gonna be pretty tricky critic because I fell asleep chasing a puppy who swallowed government secrets yeah either a fireman I'll come here but the movie will be over by then there's more important things than movies critic like finding a cure for an STD that you yourself created fine just be here at 5:00 good oh by the way do you know of anyone who can cure an STD that you need come darling there's so many more prostitutes to bring back to life [Applause] [Music] shopping I love shopping I love shopping I love shopping I love what I just plus seventy two copies of the smash hit drama oranges do taxes but I don't even like sending two copies of the smash hit drama oranges to taxes unless somebody hacked my credit card information while I was shopping online wait a minute that can happen because I've expressed VPN without a VPN your credit card information is 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expressvpn is less than seven dollars a month with a 30-day money-back guarantee so take back your internet privacy today and figure out how you can get three months free by clicking on the link in the description box expressvpn comm slash nostalgia critic take back your internet privacy today with expressvpn so everything can be all good expressvpn the best VPN there is take back your online privacy today [Music] hey everybody just letting you know we're gonna be at c2e2 in Chicago that's me Brad Jones Rob Malcolm Tamra and a whole bunch of the channel awesome gang are gonna be there we also have a panel movies everybody disagrees with you on where you get to talk about the movie that everybody well disagrees with you on it's your panel it's a lot of fun we've got the booth that this kind of ton of times it's a lot of fun and we'll see you there [Music] so magneto rips the train apart as Wolverine tries to stop him I'm a giant soup can you're not my type I prefer redheads blue redheads it looks like he's after rogue instead of Wolverine and he nuts are out cold always tried to run away from needles being thrown at them what are we lying the cops tried to stop them but that's just awesome he points their own guns at them but Xavier controls the minds of Sabretooth and toad to stop him can't you read my mind you forgot my shielded magic helmet you'll have to kill me Charles I don't think I can stop them all hey why don't you use Sabretooth you're controlling at the moment to take off his helmet so you can read slash control his mind but the friggin professor can't figure that one out as he just lets magneto go I thought you lived at a school just be sure you bring her back in time for history class just that the x-men are about to go looking for them to get an unexpected visitor can I interest you in bigoted Scout cookies well I'm not saying I'm enjoying this I'm relishing it so Xavier reads is mine to reveal but what we already know so it's pointless to show again as storm tries to comfort senator jelly donut I'm here oh you know even storm kind of sucks I mean the Halle Berry can turn in some great performances but she's not really an image of commanding strength you look at storm and you see a goddess of lightning a presence that demands Authority this storm acts like a nervous high school counselor on her first day normal people I suppose I'm afraid can you imagine if one of the guards and black panther played that role that would be awesome but then we wouldn't have Halle Berry's amazing African accent Logan you can't do this alone hang on to someone help us fight with us where are you going it has brown hair am I allowed to say that sucks you are it sucks hard so the senator turns into a melting sperm as his body rejects the mutation Xavier tries to use cerebro to find road but it looks like mystique infected the machine using oh no green goo that's always bad in movies Xavier is knocked out and after let's see two sentences of Cyclops talking to Xavier in the entire movie we suddenly get a monologue about how close they are you still here okay you've stopped me everything in my life if anything happens I don't take care of them ah they cut away before he sang to him I've been dreaming of the true love's kiss but Jean used to cerebro to locate them as magneto readies his Oh God GI Joe bomb batteries aren't included magnificent are you going to kill me yes Wow he just said it you'll see that happen in movies his bedside manner is on par with Arnold from True Lies are you going to kill me yep magneto is here Liberty Island objective is to mutate the world leaders at the UN summit on Ellis Island you know for the not too distant future maps are becoming very impractical II stupid quit I'm gonna put my face on it you see you see you see the fight face I made you see maps what about Harbor Patrol radar if they have anything that can pick up our jet they deserve to catch us or you could let them know there's a mutant terrorists of the Statue of Liberty yeah why are they doing this alone I mean I know there's prejudice but if you just say a mutant is about to wipe out the world's leaders I think some military would get there pretty quick maybe then you can fight them with a ton of backup and not leave an entire school unmanaged without an adult oh it's okay every kiss just a nuclear time bomb not always aware how not to explode actually go outside what would you prefer yellow spandex next you'll be telling me in another Marvel film a raccoon will be firing a machine gun Oh yellow spandex gotta love the sick architect to design this the giant chickens down to the freakin basketball court they don't give a about the children's safety imagine some kids just want to play midnight basketball no you're the one that's going down hey you're finding more things wrong with the movie huh maybe when I see what kids grow up with with comic book movies today and how much more faithful they are I feel a little jealous about what we got I mean yellow spandex no that wouldn't work in this more realistic world you created but then neither do all these plot holes that were originally designed for a bombastic comic universe instead of a down-to-earth one yellow spandex would work in Watchmen in Avengers and eventually even in later x-men movies I realizing more and more what they chose to take out and leave in doesn't always match the style and tone they created for this universe well I'm sure that's what they could do at the time why can they just go all out why didn't they make a comic book movie we all know we're gonna see a comic book movie so why didn't they make a comic book movie we know what we were in for it looks like some good actions coming up see so magneto gets ready to transfer his power to rogue so she can use the device to transform everybody into a mutant draining all the life out of her I'm still giving my power to the girl longer temporarily we can know aren't all men that's why we leave immediately afterwards the Blackbird lands I guess not so elegantly sorry you call that a landing I call that a punchline thankfully mystique went to mime school as she stands ridiculously still as they walk past her and then she takes on Logan's form to attack they just recreate with Hugh Jackman does in the mirror every morning so this fight scene is a little odd on the one hand the battle between mystique and Logan is actually pretty cool and creative Zoe didn't know spider-man hang up the walls was one of her powers however the x-men battling toad seems a little weak because it's the x-men battling toad who gives a how could they not take this guy out in a millisecond look at this storm can control the weather the breaking weather master of the elements what does she do I'm gonna go for a stroll I'll take my time to admire the architecture and no face my hand politely gesturing you to stop gestured they're so pathetic even has time to do a little dance I love about the moon and the junior-m Springer of course the natural energy of an elevator shaft obviously bring some powers to life you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning the same thing that happens to everything else I said lines by George Lucas the head for charm we have to regroup the other one ain't far away well gee seeing how these two characters haven't been together for a while I wonder if one of them at least I really hope so okay we're good then make it to the Statue but magneto uses his powers to make them act backwards and captures them Wolverine uses his claws to break free though and we have the up mmm most ethically built up fight ever [Music] you know it's not even like you even needed that much between them it's just an occasional line here or there an angry glare like in Waterworld or die hard we're Total Recall just a little interaction to build up the hatred between them and we get none of that one of the coolest comic book rivalries ever reduced down to just two guys hitting each other big friggin warp oh come on fights not that bad that's kind of lame it's a battle on top of the Statue of friggin Liberty yet it looks like a stage set from the movie Chicago I mean look at this day that has effect why wherever did this switch from CGI to live-action happened I simply cannot tell Hitchcock did a fight on the Statue of Liberty decades earlier and not only did it feel more grand in scale but somehow it felt like it had more color than the actual caller movie did but look he says Bob just like in the comics yeah that's cool the Y's that look like the Statue of Liberty has a Wolverine earring and look after storm warp whistles him to the top we still have to see that radioactive eight drop soup effect almost consumed the city but it ends on a nice note look a figurative and literal touching scene where Logan gives his power to save rogue come on kid you don't want to miss history class but look it's nice it almost kills him so he was willing to sacrifice himself for her thang yes actually Jesus this poor guy spends half the movie friggin passed-out narcoleptics have their eyes open more than him so magneto is arrested and mystique somehow survives three nights to the chest yeah nobody dies in these movies and somehow everybody dies in these movies and she takes over the identity of Senator Kelly mystique son of a okay if that I thing was on screen for a frame and they paused it at just the right moment I could see maybe people not catching on to it but look how long it goes after those concerns you're turning into Jar Jar Binks that's absurd I mean everyone Maja's to heal up and Xavier gives Logan the location of where he might find some answers about his past so he's off but not before saying goodbye to rogue I kind of like it it reminds me of how I almost died I don't want you to go I'll be back for this no I gotta take a leak and I hate wearing in the bathroom just hold on to it before I leave you forever finally we see the only real rivals in this movie sequel beat the hell out of this series doesn't even wake you in the middle of the night the feeling that someday they will pass that foolish law and come for you well it's American politics and nothing ever gets accomplished so probably not the wars still coming charms and I intend to fight it always done less I died a couple times and or wipe out all mutants off the face of the earth but you know these movies are pretty consistent I can't see that happening they exit via giant condom and I guess the most authentic x-men movie has finally wrapped up Wow you know you were totally right when you compare it to comic book movies today this isn't nearly as impressive as I remember it well it's okay yeah how as an adaptation it doesn't have the color imagination or death of characters as a standalone movie it's kind of bland with a ton of plot holes apparently there was 15 minutes cut from it and it really shows it just kind of feels like we go from scene to scene with no big emotional impact ever being made well okay I guess that's all true but look at it this way when it came out nobody took comic-book movies seriously mostly because they followed the source material even less than this film did so attempting to be taken seriously talking about prejudice while also trying to be somewhat faithful to a source nobody took seriously was kind of risky it had to take baby steps find a middle ground so that future comic book movies could take more chances and risk higher budgets sure the movies just okay but being okay back then is what led other comic book movies to being great today even if it didn't leave as great a story as you remember it still left a great impact for comic book movies to follow yes a good point you know we actually learned a lot with the different comic book movies who grew up with yeah I guess we did I'll be your uncle experience I thought it was gonna be I pity the fool he kidnapped my thorn dad your dad miss petite there he is there's the guy that kidnapped your son it certainly wasn't us because when I think it certainly wasn't us that is a foolproof argument come here sucker we'll kick your ass this is don't words and this is Joanne so witty any questions oh yes get the history class Walker here I'm recording this on my phone today because the cameras back the studio someone else was using it but I still want to do the charity shout-out and if you haven't heard a whole bunch of tornadoes have gone through Alabama and I think something like 23 people were killed and lots of people are left without homes and this is a really terrible tragedy so today we're gonna do the Red Cross for East Alabama it shows how you can donate shows how you can volunteer it's a really really wonderful site and the I need Red Cross is great that they always do wonderful work but yeah definitely so many people have lost so much so definitely go donate check them out maybe even volunteer because there's a lot of people that need help thank you so much you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 1,467,657

Keywords: channel awesome, doug walker, nostalgia critic, movie, film, x-men, x-men the movie, x-men movies, x-men review, x-men franchise, x-men 2000, movie review, film review, marvel, marvel movies, marvel comics, bad marvel movies, bad x-men movies, x-men comics, comics, comic book movies, bad comic book movies, bryan singer, hugh jackman, patrick stewart, ian mckellen, halle berry, tamara chambers, malcolm ray

Id: UbIFOrC5gnA

Length: 36min 46sec (2206 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 06 2019