X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Hilariocity Review

I did not hit her it's not true it's [ __ ] I did not hit her I did not oh hi mark hi hi didn't misspell anything what welcome back to my x-men series of reviews if you've been following my channel I've been talking about the x-men films I haven't yet reviewed and today I brought on my good friend of Flik Vic to talk about the best one but not only are you going to help me with this review you're going to do an unboxing for it that's right Chris I am by the way fazer guys how are you but without further ado let's rambunctious the lush edition of Wolverine with an X Wow now I'm gonna open this up because we're nerd that we like dirty stuff and we're talking about X min so x-men stuff now what I like to do Christmas Hanukkah put his arms up and this is the shrenger where he flexing the biceps and it shows anger and rage if you pay close attention right here the detail the X American Claus in the boldest tip that's what we don't hold your eyes out mole this - x-men origins this was an attempt at a big franchise I think it failed on every level possible directing style Fiji's acting script yes I mean when a studio makes a film and that film has specific points that reference and make fun of this one Deadpool yeah when another student lay I'll just make a movie and make fun of the last thing we tried to do like that's just it baffles me that this film and the Wolverine have the same IMDB score it says something about our culture and the blind love for bad things and it terrifies me and the saddest thing is this movie it was supposed to be the starting point to an entire universe of soul x-men spin-off movies it looks like the Marvel Universe is doing right except better so this movie always with an open credit sequence we got Wolverine and Sabretooth and they're kicking ass in various wars and I just thought this was a big missed opportunity to me it felt like that was a movie I'd rather see like what was good old we'll be doing in various world wars like that would have been a lot more fun than just like here's me as weapon a crime adamantium I'm mad at you can you imagine warring and Civil War Vietnam World War 1 World War 2 could you imagine all these amazing things I can't because the movie gave us four minutes of a montage opening sequence just glossing over all this amazing stuff to work with and they said you know what all this good stuff throw it over there let's just jump into some mediocre storyline with the blob yeah really and will.i.am from from black side tennis like what is he doing it smooth let's just have Justin Bieber being the next one why not let's just do it I think the weather outside is just like joined our depression it's a sore x-men origins aside if there's lightning in a tree fall through the ceiling here it was meant to be in Sabre suits just comes in and just got giggles Eve under chin but he comes in on wires he just glides in yeah cuz the wire work in this movie it is incredible there's a sequence in the beginning where agent zero is just like flipping over a fence I get that he's a mutants and everything but it just looks so bad he's like climbing up the side of a building it's one notch away from him just dangling on why like this and you see a crane above his head yes it's so terrible there's the laws of physics and gravity just don't apply to this movie now from the opening scene this movie takes place in 1800 you have young Logan young Sabretooth and then when Logan finally hits mutant puberty and his little shriveling bone claws come out and that's where you know that you might not be watching the best movie that was the first sign I remember seeing this in theaters and being like this suck my friends like know what's good you know your head will the reason it I was like um that was really bad guys like what are you watching what movie did you see were you aware when you first watch this movie that the CG was bad yes I mean yes yes I liked the x-men animated cartoon from the 90s when I was a kid quite a bit but I was a [ __ ] cartoon yeah and this is a live-action movie I don't need to look like a cartoon when he's in front of the mirror and he's like t'get and it looks like somebody just went in there with like you know Microsoft Paint and it's just animated who claws one frame at a time and I remember the first time I watched it as well this movie was leaked like five months early or something like that when I was watching that leaked version it was pre she G like some of the elements were there some work I was like oh yeah his claws are look way better this movie hits theatres I watched the movie in the movie theater and they look the same and I was like what do they do what did you do what have you done but the thing about Wolverines cause this movie like the scene you just said in the bathroom at the old people's house before they get violently murdered it's great scene the frame right and a lighting doesn't even memo not at all like they start flickering yet the other thing I hated about the fact that he becomes Weapon X and he's like dealing with this adamantium and everything if you remember his flashback in like x-men 2 when he when he has a flashback that sequence he's like holding his claws out he's like oh my god there's blood all over me [ __ ] pissed in the first x-men rogue ask Wolverine when they come up does it hurt thank you time so maybe during this sequence where he's first discovering that adamantium metal has been graphed throughout his entire skeleton you know he might be experiencing a little pain agony he's on form of depression or anger but no it's like a comical scene in a bathroom where he breaks the old people's radiator and their sink and he brings out he like I sworn on paper like it's supposed to be funny it's like no this guy should be an intense pain right now why is this a joke except it's like a comedy movie were a boy going through puberty and he just discovers the first hair at his ball sack yeah mom tries to come in the bathroom it's the thing is this movie has no humanity and has no real motion everything's so superficial in this movie there's a sequence that I think we both thought was really funny where Wolverine wakes up from a dream it's like did he just come looks like we're gonna need me she kiddin me did you like when Agent Zero pulls out his gun and shoots Wolverines cigar out of his mouth that was a quintessential scene for this movie it really developed those characters and the lackluster CG really sold me on the story yeah yeah did you like the the moon story she tells to them about the the coo coo cachoo the cuckoo becomes alluring and we're just trying to set up the title for this movie and give you a name even though my whole subplot will later be revealed that I'm lying to you but we're gonna show you on this shitty talk about it could you exactly and that really when you go back and watch the movie edge ii was real to me too i was really in love with you that story i told you and everything i meant it from the bottom of my heart like oh my god just just shoot me give me an adamantium bullets in my [ __ ] head so i can forget about this movie if this really could use just one thing right it could have okay action scenes or at least convincing action scenes or well shot or choreograph these no we have a lot of high frame rate shaky cam multiple angle [ __ ] I mean there's even a sequence where like a bunch of logs fall on top of Wolverine and they just kind of go this they fall flat with no vibrations no jitters nothing they just go gravity stops instantly it's exactly when Deadpool first shows up and the end like he goes into a room and he's just swinging his swords around like blocking all the bullets perfectly it just it just looks like Ryan Reynolds just walked around going like this please add convincing CG to make this look cool this is all I can do when you compare that blocking tactic to the one that Wolverine uses at the end of the movie to block side pull shitty cyclopses beam vision where he's just holding him right here like this hey depa wanna just look up and kill him stop aiming for the claws when that happened in the movie we just read watch it I went is this this is real this happened Deadpool's eyes turned black an issue to bean I have his eyes and Wolverine like blocks it like it's Dragon Ball Z or something like what what is this what's happening it's like this horrible 360 CG battle on top of a smokestack yeah oh my god and they so is mouth shut of course they show they so shut Deadpool's mouth the Merc with the mouth his mouth is so shut John in this movie they say so Deadpool mouth shut why don't you just [ __ ] take away Hulk's strength you know why don't you just right you just take away Wolverines claws why you just make Superman just be like a poor depressed college student who can't fly why don't you give Thor screwdriver instead of a hammer now anarchy Chris why don't you just like make Batman just be like a Dracula cosplayer and that's it sounds like a movie that might develop next year yeah copyright Chris Buckman it's nothing Ryan Reynolds playing Deadpool by the end of the movie it's Scott Adkins this is yes another actor it's not even Ryan Reynolds it looks like a close-up of him it's not not even once it's got at least yeah wow I didn't know that yeah isn't that phenomenal you know of course is the big Weapon X scene where he comes out of the water and trains and everything and unfortunately they had to like cut it together and it's weird like 300 style of directing like slow fast mo like can you just show it really cool like why'd you have to have it be like oh wow like it was like this weird fast slow-mo [ __ ] I hate it I'm not giving away I kind of enjoyed it it looked like you Jag we got a pump right before the seat oh you know he did but during that really intense scene they really bogged down because every other character in the room is like I don't I think he's gonna survive it I don't know if he's gonna survive it oh you never survive it heart rate at 180 heart rate at 120 I think he's going to survive it maybe I don't [ __ ] it we know what happens this is a prequel we know they're eventually Wolverine will lose his memory and that he gets turned into Weapon X it's like they just took everything that we know happens and try to make it happen in the most boring unconvincing way and then add little [ __ ] things in there like gambit showing up or a fight scene with the blob in a boxing ring that we don't need to see or like I said will I am from black-eyed peas it's like we know exactly what's going to happen this is just one of those things like hey you know that story you know here's how it happened speaking of cringy cheesy [ __ ] just put in there when he escapes after being Weapon X from the facility that they transform and Matt the seal he cuts through the door in one big X and the other reason they made that is so they could shoehorn it into the trailer it was for marketing reasons only and that was it and by the way from a technical standpoint if you're going to break through a steel door to cut it open you wouldn't make it act and then punch the bottom out you make a circle or a square I get why they didn't do that but it's just like open the door or don't do it at all can you imagine if you made it oh and just came out with like I'm oh man so Wolverine second big action scene as adamantium Wolverine is this helicopter sequence where we have this amazing shot yes it's incredible with Wolverine on a motorcycle and he uses his claws in the dirt to turn the motorcycle around and then he's like on top of a truck and the reaction in his face one that when the rocket blows on the truck he knows he's about to get catapulted through the air like a [ __ ] slingshot he goes like oh and then like this gets shot up in the air a billion feet somehow avoids the helicopter rudder this is the sequence in the theater I was like is this unfinished do they forget to do this in editing is this pre visual well I love that sequence because it goes from zero to a billion instantaneously old people just got shot to death the next thing is he forgets how to use brakes on a motorcycle so you uses the quad and then he turns into Superman and take down a helicopter it does it's baffling to me that anyone likes this because there are people who like this movie there are people who like this movie look if you like this movie and it's just because you enjoy it you know like it's okay and you like to watch it and but you understand that this is like one of the worst superhero movies of all time then that's fine kind of like how sometimes I watch Batman and Robin to make fun of it but I know it's [ __ ] because if you genuinely like x-men origins I don't get it I'm sorry this movie's horrible in all fairness to this movie I'm going to be positive for about the next fourteen second okay there are some good ideas in this movie there was good ideas especially with the opening montage sequences and there's a few ideas where he actually does have a little bit of motion and you can see that Wolverine inside of them but they're terribly executed ideas absolutely I mean the best part of the movie is Hugh Jackman I mean like he's great as Wolverine you know you Byron's the character he gives emotion to the character even when the script is asking him to say horrendous lines of dialogue and do hilariously silly things in front of a green screen he's great as this character he's the PISA saving grace of this movie and that's really it and of course at the end of the helicopter sequence he he ignites like fuel on fire and walks away like it's bad boy 3 starring Hugh Jackman just cringy stereotypical action movie slow-mo the wind's blowing a but he doesn't blink not world not now now just for two seconds can we talk like a [ __ ] blob in this movie why not he looks like chewed-up bubble gum and that entire scene where takes place in the boxing match with him and Logan going back and forth it felt like a slapstick comedy movie the way it was put together hey bub but burner call me blob hey I mean Fred that was so dumb it's like hey let's have Wolverine say his big bub line did you recover a blob like that's the that's the screenwriting just terrible I like that's the dialogue this movie didn't know what it wanted to be no it's either bad boys or it's like a serious movie like a romance where it's tragic it's like a brothers brothers are fighting and they hate each other story it's a CGI mess it's a hilarious slapstick comedy with the blob doll Wolverine was a good movie until the end because it betrayed its tone it became really silly yeah but the serious stuff up until then I really liked origins is just like that throughout the entire film like a big rocky just mess this movie was written in such a way that it couldn't help itself but be bloated they try to shoo him in every mutant that they could gand it Cyclops they almost try to make it like an origin story to Deadpool but why we would ever start Deadpool off like that I'm not quite sure they almost committed suicide for every character in one movie but this one we waste so much time with just dumb subplots and scenes and little tidbits of terrible tge like the cigar scene but the one that was such a substantial waste of time was when it's finally revealed at the end of the movie that his wife of six years turns out to be a spy for Stryker that didn't need to happen like he she could have been a legitimate woman that he loved she dies and he goes on a revenge it's true because she says like it was real for me too okay so you're right back where he started so why were you a spy why'd you have to die and they lose his memory never sees her again so what does that add to this film besides one scene where he goes like done you're alive his emotion last like 12 seconds he goes up and he just walks away he does it okay cool right and then yesterday like free all the mutants and everything with his claws but of course the only mutants this guy is captured which by the way he's capturing mutants to like give their powers and energy to Deadpool we just process that for a second and Wolverine is freeing all the mutants that are in cages so it's like I guess you only like you know took like the semi kind of maybe powerful mutants they can't break out of cages yeah they're so powerful they can't break out of a chicken water that you put them in there's a little girl in the first x-men that can walk through walls yeah what the hell is going on what's going on with this movie no knows but Cyclops is also in one of those cages I believe why doesn't he just take his glasses off and saves the day because John and then really would be over I'm sorry yeah but at least we got that really cool scene where Wolverine opens the cages up yeah Jing Jing Jing kidding me you like how they just ran through all the cages and like didn't even look to make sure he wasn't going to slice a child's finger off like ever you can dive in the open occasion yes that'd be so great he's like Oh running on he's like I'm a badass any wool turns around they're all dead so in the big epic bloated finale where Deadpool is teleporting around by the way cuz Deadpool can teleport yeah Sabretooth just shows up and says nobody kills him but me nobody kills you but me nobody kills Jack Roth while I'm around that's the address of that lecture for me like we said you know [ __ ] Deadpool shoots beams and [ __ ] now and Wolverine can block it with his claws and of course Wolvie loses his memory because striker shoots some of the bullet and I mean why's this movie happening money yeah you're sweet holy ye what is that what the [ __ ] is that well guys thank you so much for watching my series of x-men reviews it's been a great time talking x-men with you guys thank you for joining me for clearly the best most perfect classic x-men film that has an applause this is my buddy dyslexic you can definitely check out his channel it's awesome you should subscribe to it well thanks for having me Chris I appreciate it I just wish we could talk about better movies when we collab it's true whenever we cut wherever we get together it's like let's talk about some [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] movies anyway guys thank you so much as always for watching and as always did you like this you can click right here and get Minhaj that was a reenactment of the special effects in excellent and the acting and the way the camera was yeah yeah [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Chris Stuckmann

Views: 1,337,398

Rating: 4.8173804 out of 5

Keywords: X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Movie Review, Hilariocity, Chris Stuckmann, 2009, John Flickinger, The Flick Pick, Reviews, Film, Marvel, Comics, Superhero, Cyclops, Gambit, Deadpool, Ending, After Credits, Scene, Clip, Trailer, Teaser, Claws, Fight, Weapon X, CGI, Stan Lee, Cameo, Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Gavin Hood, Will.i.am, Lynn Collins, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Wolverine, Sabretooth, Blob

Id: Cuz6HbBnR9s

Length: 19min 47sec (1187 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 28 2017