You may be seated. Hello, Your Honor.
This is the case of<i>
Nicholas v. Nicholas.</i> Thank you. Good day, everyone. All right. Based upon
the papers submitted
to the court, I can say I have never seen
a case like this. Mr. Nicholas, you have brought
your wife to court today. Yes, ma'am. You claim you cannot be
the father of
four-year-old Naomi or one-year-old Nathaniel because your wife is
a habitual cheater and she
cannot be trusted. (AUDIENCE GASP) You say you have
shocking evidence
of your wife's outrageous sexual infidelity, (SIGHS) including encounters
with strangers in public places (AUDIENCE REACT) and affairs with
your co-workers. Mrs. Nicholas,
you actually admit that you've made some
mistakes in your marriage, but you claim
you have now turned
your life around and you are
a church-going woman who deserves
another chance. You state that once
these DNA tests... Church-going. Sure. ...prove Mr. Nicholas
is the father of all of
your children, you are hoping to
repair your marriage. Mr. Nicholas. NICHOLAS: Yes, ma'am. Feel free to
enlighten the court. Let me tell you this,
first of all. You know,
this sushi spot
I used to work at, used to have
lots of people come in,
in and out. And some guy
comes up to me
and tells me, straight up to my face that
my wife is performing oral sex
in the bathroom. Oh! Wait a minute. (AUDIENCE GASP) Wait a minute.
You're at work... Yeah. ...at the
sushi restaurant... Yes, ma'am. ...and a guy just
comes up to you. Yeah. And tells me that
she's performing oral
sex in the bathroom. Hold up, rewind. JUDGE LAKE:
During your shift? Yeah, during my shift,
while I was working. Okay. And then
you did what? I continued working.
What am I supposed to do?
I couldn't leave my job. And so, were you
ever able to prove or disprove that
this really happened? No, ma'am.
That's the problem. I couldn't, like...
It's the allegation coming
from other people, you know. I can't... JUDGE LAKE: Okay,
so that's hearsay. We never got
any proof on that. Hold on. First of all,
why would a bring a guy to a girl's bathroom?
It's the mall. Come on, now,
you have so many
stories about yourself. I messed up
in the past. Those were
in the past. We were in
high school that time. You got a high school
reputation. Come on. I know I've had lot of
boyfriends and all that,
and messing around... What about all
the stories that other
people are telling me, like Great America? I didn't do
nothing with him. Okay. I just kissed him... I'm almost afraid
to ask, but please
tell me that story. Well, great America's? Yes. Yeah, we're in
high school, you know. We're high school
sweethearts. We've been
together for a while. And then you know... She comes out
and tells me
straight to my face that she made out
with somebody. At least I'm
telling you the truth. That was the very first time. <i> She cheated on me.</i> JUDGE LAKE:<i> That
was the first time.</i> NICHOLAS:<i> Yeah.</i> <i> Now, that's when
we were in High School.</i> Those are the past.
We were in high school
that time. But what about all
the stories that other
people are telling me? Come on now. All right, so tell us these
stories you're talking
about, Mr. Nicholas. All right, the transformer
rides. Okay, let me get
those straight down. You know, she went into
the transformer rides with
my seven year-old-daughter. Okay, I'll tell you
that straight up. You know, I sat down
because my
one-year-old son <i> and my
four-year-old daughter
can't go on the ride.</i> <i> And so, I had to
watch them.</i> And then after
the show was done,
some lady comes up and tells me
straight to my face
that my wife was having sex
in the ride. (AUDIENCE GASP) ANGELA:
Having sex all right. (LAUGHTER) First of all, why
would I have sex while my daughter
was in the ride with me? And the chair just...
The chair moves. Come on, I'm not
that dumb. Yeah, let me get my point
straight. Then why did my
seven-year-old daughter come tell me straight to my
face that you were jumping up
and down some dude's lap? JUDGE LAKE: So,
your daughter came
off the ride that she was riding
with her Mom... NICHOLAS: Yeah. ...and told you,
"Mommy's jumping
around on some..." Some dude's lap.
That's... You know, that's after
the old lady told me. The lady told
me your name. No... My name? There's a
bunch of girls named
Angela! Come on now! (LAUGHTER) Come on, there's a lot of
people named Angela. NICHOLAS: Oh, yeah. It can't be me. JUDGE LAKE: On the ride,
at that time with their
seven-year-old child. Now, what I'm
trying to understand,
Mr. Nicholas, is, who are these
people that just
feel the need to tell you about
your wife all the time? (APPLAUSE) You know, I didn't
encourage it myself. I don't know if
anybody wants to try and back this up
or what. I don't know. JUDGE LAKE: All right.
Any other thing you'd like to let the court
know about your
wife's infidelity? Yeah. For example,
the Pizza joint that
I used to work at. Mmm-hmm. You know,
my manager. She was having an affair
with my manager. So, tell me that. (AUDIENCE GASP) Oh, yes. Yes, I did
have an affair. (AUDIENCE REACT) On top of that,
every time I try
to talk to you, you're just not
there for me. NICHOLAS: Just 'cause
he's been buying
you diapers? All that, all-nighters? Diapers... Yeah. Every time I ask you,
you just take off! You spend your money
on something else! Come on now! JUDGE LAKE: So,
she asks you for money for the diapers,
for the baby? NICHOLAS:<i> Yes, ma'am.</i> <i> You say you
give it to her.</i> ANGELA: No. Mmm-mmm. You say
he does not. That's what he's doing... Yeah, because
I was stressed out... JUDGE LAKE: And then
you asked his co-worker to
get you some diapers? I needed someone to
talk to, and he was
there to comfort me. He's not... And you sleep
with him, too? AUDIENCE: Mmm. Am I correct? Yes, Your Honor. Okay. How did
you find out that she slept
with the co-worker
that got the diapers? Hmm. She told me she
left her panty there. ANGELA: I didn't leave
a panty there! NICHOLAS: What? No! No, you told
me you left your panties there. Oh, my God. Would you know
the panties were missing? I'm not... You just told... (IMITATING)
"I left my panties there." ANGELA: I never
said that! Excuse me! (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) She did a snap, too? No, I didn't
do no snap. No. No, I just put that
in there. Don't worry
about that. Ms. Nicholas,
did you tell him that? No, I did not. How did you
figure this out? First of all, her cellphone. No, I didn't even
talk to anybody. I've been with my kids 24-7.
Where have you been? Working. I know you work, but the time when
you're not working. Time when I'm
not working? Yeah,
I'm with my cousin. Are you sure your cousin?
Or the other chick? (SIGHS) (AUDIENCE GASP) JUDGE LAKE: ALL right. Do you have an answer to
that, Mr. Nicholas? NICHOLAS: Can I ask you
one question? Is it cheating
if I were to go kick it with another female
and just talk to her
about my problems? Is that
considered cheating? There's emotional
cheating, too, Mr. Nicholas. I know I've been
with other guys,
but I'm sorry. I know I messed up
in the past.
That's the past. Okay, can you
please explain to me,
what about the dude you
slept with that looks
dead-on just like me? Oh, I met that one. (LAUGHTER) Oh, it just
keeps getting not better. So, Mrs. Nicholas,
did you sleep with someone that looks
just like your husband? Yes, Your Honor. I'm being
honest with you. At least I told you later when
you were out on business. Come on now. JUDGE LAKE: And please
tell the court why. Why did you do that?
Yeah. Tell me. Why? I'm sorry, he just
looked like you. NICHOLAS: Oh! (LAUGHTER) Yeah, I messed with him, but I was thinking
about you most of the time! (LAUGHTER) Come on now! I mean, you know,
what other reason
do I need? I'm here,
I wanna do the DNA
and prove him wrong 'cause I'm tired of
him saying,
"Oh, they're not my kids. "They're not my kids."
Come on! They just look
like you. JUDGE LAKE: But so
does the other guy you slept with. (APPLAUSE) ANGELA: Sorry. JUDGE LAKE: Do you
understand why he potentially, maybe,
could have some doubt? Do you understand? Yeah, 'cause
I cheated on him. But all the time
when I was cheating... The kids don't
look like me, no. ANGELA:<i> They look
like me! That's why!</i> (NICHOLAS SIGHS) ANGELA:<i> Come on now!</i> NICHOLAS:<i> No, there's got
to be a part of it where
the kids gotta look like me.</i> ANGELA:<i> They do now.</i> What I want to know is,
how did it come to this,
in this marriage? Mrs. Nicholas,
explain to me, why are you going
outside of your marriage trying to find
someone that looks
like your husband to have sex with? What is going... ANGELA: Because
I'm tired of him... ANGELA: He treats me
like...at our home. Let's use better
language in the court. Oh, sorry. He called me names. I know I messed up. Yeah, I called you names because you deserve it. No, I've been with
other guys, but I'm sorry. Yeah. JUDGE LAKE: But
Mr. Nicholas, didn't you
say, in high school, she had
a bad reputation, and yet you still
married her? (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Yeah, because...
You know why? It's not...
I married her because... You know, yeah...
I was a nerd,
I'll tell you that. I was a fat,
little chubby-looking kid.
You know what I mean? I was probably
the rebound. ANGELA: You're not
a rebound. JUDGE LAKE: Ms. Nicholas,
I got to ask you. How many affairs
have you had? Mrs. Nicholas,
I got to ask you. How many affairs
have you had? How many affairs?
When I was with him? And when was the last... Yes. Last time was, um,
his business trip. How many? How... I mean... I didn't say...
I told you the truth. Excuse me. How many? How many times
have you had sex? How many times?
Less than 10
different guys. While we're
still married. (AUDIENCE REACT) While we're
still married? Some of them,
I don't sleep with them.
Yeah, I kiss them. NICHOLAS: Yeah. Is that cheating?
Kissing is cheating? (SCATTERED RESPONSE
FROM AUDIENCE) Yes, let me make that
ruling right now. Yes, it is. (APPLAUSE) Is it cheating? ANGELA: Your Honor,
he's been at this girl's
house for two, three nights and I'm trying and
calling him, and he
never picks up... You're staying at an...
Another woman's house? Pretty much. Yeah. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) ANGELA: See? You all obviously
never heard the phrase, "Two wrongs don't
make a right," have you? NICHOLAS: That's... Whoa! Two wrongs
don't make a right.
I know that, but the thing is,
I got to hear it from another
woman's perspective what am I supposed to do.
I can't just go and talk to
another guy 'cause if I were to
talk to another guy, he's gonna be like,
"Oh, Slick Rick," and come in
and try to take my woman. (LAUGHTER) You know what I mean?
He's gonna be, like, "Okay, that's
your problem." Mr. Nicholas,
you know, as a man, you've gotten
some things wrong. Yeah, of course. ANGELA:
If you apologize,
we won't fight every single day
like we... At home. (NICHOLAS SCOFFS) Just drop everything
and start new, like
a normal couple. Yeah... After all this... JUDGE LAKE: You both have
tears in your eyes right now. NICHOLAS: I can't sleep. I haven't slept for days
'cause I've been stressing
about you. Sleepy, yeah.
No wonder you just keep on waking
me up every time. I'm always
with you 24-7. Okay, listen.
Your Honor... (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) He's accusing
that I'm cheating
with another person, sneaking around
at night, and half the time
he's been awake
and I'm always with him? Sounds like to me that
both of you are accusing the other one of
doing a lot of things, but the problem is
that the both of you are doing
the other things! NICHOLAS: No, Your Honor... But at the
end of the day... I'm looking at
Mr. Nicholas right now and I see a man
that's standing here,
emotional still over his wife,
so I see love. Despite all of
this dysfunction
I see love. And what the court is
trying to understand is we've got
children here now, that I'm sure love
the both of you. And I'm trying to
get down to
the bottom of not just whether or not
Mr. Nicholas is
their father, but why you two
can't seem to
love each other appropriately when you
obviously do love each other. Yeah, I do love her. Yeah, I do love him. NICHOLAS: I just
want everything to
work out, all right? I want to be
a happy family with
white picket fence in front of our house. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) NICHOLAS:<i> That's all I want.
I just...</i> (VOICE BREAKING)
I'm tired of being hurt. All right? I'm tired. I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry,
that was the past. Could we just let go of
the past and start anew
for once? No, I'm sorry. It's gonna be done. It's gonna be done? It's done.
I'm tired of being hurt. Ms. Nicholas, what
would you like to say
to your husband? I love him a lot,
but this time I really do want to get out of
the house because he would always just
argue, argue, argue. I want to stop
the arguing. I'm not controlling. I never
controlled you. You never
controlled me? No. Really? I let you go out
with your Mom. No, you don't! (LAUGHTER) That is so a lie! NICHOLAS: I don't? We have the
results here today. But I need some information
before we get to the results. These results pertain to
two beautiful children. AUDIENCE: Aw! JUDGE LAKE:
You see them? Aren't they worth more
that the tit for tat that you all do
all day long? Yeah. Look at them. I believe they are
worth the effort. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) NICHOLAS: Come on now
and tell me he don't
look like me. ANGELA: He does
look like you. Come on! Yeah, it's 'cause we got
both pony tails that
doesn't mean anything. JUDGE LAKE: What do you
want from your marriage
and your family? I want him to
stop calling me
names for once and just be like
a normal couple, and just be there for
the kids. Not just say,
"Oh, they're not my kids." I'm tired of hearing that. I hear that almost
every single day. And he wants you to
stop cheating. Can you do that? Yeah, I told him
I stopped cheating. When my son was born,
I said I'm gonna stop
everything. I'm gonna tell you
the truth from now on. I've been
telling you the truth
every single day. JUDGE LAKE: All right.
I think it's time for
the results. Jerome, do you
have the... Yes, I do. Here you go. Envelope? Thank you. When it comes to
four-year-old
Naomi Nicholas... Uh-oh. Here we go. JUDGE LAKE: Mr. Nicholas, I know she's been
the apple of your eye. You love that
little girl, hmm? It has been determined that you are her father. ANGELA: I told you so! Get your life straightened
out, man. I told you so. I've been telling you. Yeah, that's one. Are you ready
for the next result? Yes, ma'am. How 'bout this?
If the result's true, I'm going to get you
your 16-diamond ring back.
How about that? JUDGE LAKE:
Did you hear that? Yeah, I heard that. JUDGE LAKE:
So, with that said... Jerome? Here you go, Your Honor. Thank you, sir. As it relates to
one-year-old
Nathaniel Nicholas, it has been determined, Mr. Nicholas, that you are his father. ANGELA: Exactly!
I told you from
the beginning! God! I told you! How do you feel,
Mr. Nicholas? Relieved. Really relieved. I'm super happy. I wanna be
the respectful father
that they need. Good. Mrs. Nicholas? You're very emotional
right now. What do
you feel? I'm relieved. I've been telling him
it's his kids, but every single day,
he'd say, "Oh, they're
not my kids. "They don't look like me."
Come on now! I apologize. Okay? I'm sorry. JUDGE LAKE: Can you
accept his apology? Can you understand,
honestly, as a woman, why this man would
have some doubt? Everybody in here
gets it. Do you? No, let's keep it real.
Do you? Yeah, I messed up. Because the only way to
move forward and change your past behavior
is to realize and own what
you've done wrong. Now, you've got it
all wrong, both of you. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) But you've got three
incredible reasons why you should
try to get it right. Now, there are a lot of
people that come before me,
where I go... I love it, I love it. Yes. (SOBBING) NICHOLAS: It's all right. It's all right. JUDGE LAKE: This is
what this courtroom
is all about. I got to
look up to her. That's all right. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) That's wonderful
to see. You all have
been through it you've done pretty
much everything you guys can do to
one another,
but I still see love. I just wanna settle down. JUDGE LAKE: And as
long as there's love, there's hope. And all it takes is for
you both to decide that you want to be
the kind of people that can love and connect,
and have a family. And both of you
want the same thing. Just make it happen.
It's a choice. Do it for those children.
They are worth it. <i> I want you to raise
a beautiful family</i> and live the lives
you want to live. Good luck to you both. Court is adjourned. I apologize for
calling you all those names.
I didn't mean to. And I'm sorry
if I hurt your feelings. I accept that You know... Your apology. I'm really... All right, I'm really,
deeply sorry. Will you please
forgive me? Yeah, I forgive you. (SNIFFLES) (ANGELA SOBBING) Let's go home
and work things out. Well, I love you. All right. You know,
I just want to be
happy with the kids. You know,
he's Mommy's boy. Daddy's girl then. Mama's boy, huh? Hi five?
There you go.
