Why There's So Much Sugar In Our Foods | JJ Virgin on Health Theory

what's up guys thanks for tuning in to this episode of hell theory sponsored by our amazing friends at butcher box we've got an awesome offer for you below in the description be sure to check that out alright in today's episode with JJ virgin we discuss why suddenly changing your diet is the wrong approach how to talk to teenagers about health the real danger of hidden sugars and how your mindset can create miracles everybody welcome to hell theory today's guest is none other than JJ virgin she's a four-time New York Times bestselling author as well as a celebrity nutritionist and fitness expert who's one of the very first personal trainers in LA back in the 80s and since then she's become one of the most recognizable names in the space she's been featured on countless programs including dr. oz and dr. Phil as well as a slew of radio and new shows she's also the host of the JJ virgin lifestyle podcast where she herself dives into a massive array of topics around health and fitness but what I want to know about is something you just told me before we started rolling which is that when you were working with dr. Phil you guys tried to take over a town yes and the the results were somewhat sterile and this is all the stuff that I never get to talk about so we're gonna pull back the girls now and you know some of these things that you try to do on TV that are just an epic fail the whole idea was back during the weight loss challenge days and they decided to take over a town so they send me in and what they've done is they've gone in ahead of time and they have taken over the high school now they got the mayor on board the mayor thought this was a great idea but he didn't kind of check in with the whole town on what do you think about this right and so they go into the high school and what they did was they just removed all of the fast food and they removed the kids favorites like french fries cookies they pulled it all out so they took the french fries and they did a swap now I love swaps but if I was going to swap a french fry my first choice wouldn't be a carrot stick no one's fooled there right so they did all of this and then I get into town and they go okay here's what we're gonna have you do we're gonna have you go to the high school and you're gonna sit down with the kids these are a bunch of teenagers and we have you talked about nutrition and what they're gonna do right they wanted me to sit down and explain why we'd replaced the French fries with the carrot sticks and why we replace the the desserts with the fruit and how great this was gonna be for them and you can imagine what this was like I was like this little lamb just thrown to slaughter with all of these very angry teenagers who are they saying we don't understand why we don't care yeah we don't care right I mean they didn't care they didn't care that eating french fries was bad for them because it mean when you're a teen you can't you're not selling health to a teenager so you've got to meet them where they are right so for a teenager what are they gonna do maybe they want to be like one of the rock stars or one of the big athletic stars but they really don't care if they're not thinking about the heart attack they're gonna not have when they're 60 right they want the French fries and this is something I thought a lot about like one with what we were trying to do with quest was I didn't feel like I could convince people to make a lot of change of behavior our whole thing was how do you leverage behavior but if you have kids and your kids are facing that kind of I won't even call it peer pressure but you walk into the school there's a lot of fast food the fast food companies of course are making sure that that's available in the schools in some case right like how do you appeal to them if they want to be you know the rock star of the school they're not thinking about the avoiding us to send in the athlete or the pop star that they want to be like like what they shouldn't have done is sent me in they should have sent in someone like that and been aspirational and let them co-create what they need to do to have a life like that and get their buy-in and they're why I used to be a spokesperson for Subway and I remember I got one of one of the doctors who I work with was like I can't believe you're gonna be a spokesperson for Subway you know it's it's fast food I go Americans eat fast food so if I can work with them to make that fast food healthier and start to shift some behaviors that they're already gonna do but we can help them do them better great they're gonna go and get energy bars if we can get them to get a better choice than so many of them that are just adult candy bars great because you just got to have one foot after the next right IV night I was doing something on a home shopping channel and I couldn't say the names but I had Almond Joy and mounds and they had the same amount of sugar as a Clif Bar and I think it might have been in the Luna bar I was like are you kidding me that was literally our marketing message was it's the first protein bar there's not a candy bar in disguise which is crazy and you talked a lot about sneaky sugars and the way that people aid don't understand necessarily what they're eating and be that a lot of this stuff is just getting into our die in ways that we wouldn't expect so what are some of the areas that people should really be watching out for that they might not expect has sugar in it yes so I love this quote from dr. Mark Hyman who said our number one recreational drug of choice is sugar and it's true and so why are we sneaking sugar into all these foods because then we'll want more of them and so that's why the manufacturers are doing it instant places that you wouldn't expect used to be turn of the century we ate five pounds of sugar per person per year it's now gosh was a hundred and fifty pounds of sugar per person per year we're eating like basically our weight in sugar and the obesity rates have gone from 0.5% to over it now we're more obese and overweight so over 30% it's because of these things sneaking in and the biggest crime is them sneaking in and in with the marketing messages to make it look like it's healthy so take apple juice concentrate we're all concerned about high fructose corn syrup but apple juice concentrate has more fructose than high fructose corn syrup but you can put it onto a label and say no sugar added right doesn't this make you insane and put it on like a kid's food or one of those silly fruit snacks or one of the yogurts say no sugar added and then everybody thinks it's okay the sauce is those silly salad dressings me well we went fat-free back then it was everything we got to get the fat out of everything and all of a sudden you were eating all the sugar but it was okay because fat makes you fat yeah I remember literally so I was at roughly this time I was writing and I used to keep this big tub of Red Vine licorice and I remember saying to my friend because she was like you know I I think if you eat too much sugar it turns to fat and I was like that basically makes sense that literally didn't make sense to me I was like how's that possible how does sugar become fat I don't even understand so yeah I was totally bought into that I was - I used to eat six meals a day I used to go from client to client to client and I would go I had my frozen yogurt store and then I would go to El Fornaio and get a skinny latte and a side of fat-free milk right of course and I get like a baguette and I would just eat all day long carbs yeah cuz I was starving so talk to me about the drug like effect of this stuff like why why is it so hard for people to let go of this because I think that the reason that it's in this apply the way that it is is because we love it and we want it and it's essentially people are serving up what we're asking for well and we're also giving it to them and then we want it you know it's it's it's like which came first right and so if you look at so they did that cool study on rats where they looked at the reward center of the brain and when rats were first given in I think like it was some kind of morphine and when they gave the rats morphine it lit up this pleasure center the reward center in their brain then they gave them Oreo cookies it lights at the same pleasure center in the brain and then they gave them the choice and they chose the Oreo cookies but if you think about it you've got gluten dairy and sugar together that trifecta of an opiate like effect on the brain so you start out and you have a little bit of it and there's a couple different ways we've become addicted to sugar one is genetics I mean we have some people I am genetically not don't have a sweet taste a sweet tooth I'm so thrilled about that now my adopted mother does so she plied me with sugar all growing up but at age 12 I just quit I don't like it like I do not have a sweet tooth but you can get one because exposure equals preference you can train it but then you also get that hit you know to the pleasure center of the brain and also a boost serotonin and if you're stressed out if you're stressed out you are actually going to deplete serotonin and then you're gonna want more sugar to boost it on up and then you also change your gut microbe so when you change your gut microbiome or glucose intolerance so now you're gonna need more sugar for fuels your body can't access stored fat for fuel so you start to get this whole like compound effect of like what's really going on well these all these factors start to create the problems so how do we begin to back out of that I know you've talked a lot about or worked with people I should say with getting sugar out of their diet how to deal with that you talked about some of the replacement stuff there are smarter replacements and carrot sticks for french fries but what is some of that stuff for somebody watching now that's really tried they want to they've got the intent but they just don't know what to do how do you think everybody I mean no one sits down goes you know I think I mean eat really crappy that's what I'm gonna do that'll be perfect you know I think we all want to eat healthier but then we try to do too big of a change and we fail and we go see it's my genes I'm getting older so I'm an example to go well french fries to carrot sticks I'm not gonna eat any sugar I'm gonna quit it all cold turkey the reason I check 'old sugar and I never intended to the first thing I started with because I'm kind of obsessed with you being your own personal health detective and being able to connect the dots between how you feel and what you're eating I think we've divorced ourselves from that with so many of these different programs there is no diet that's right for everybody it's really about looking at your you know where you are your outcomes you want if your lifestyle you have your genetics your epigenetics and going alright what outcome do I want right now and I think diets help you learn what works for you and what doesn't work for you so I write the Virgin diet about testing these seven foods to see which works for you and which doesn't and one of them was sugar and the only reason I put sugar in there because it wasn't in there at first oh yes this is what's really funny I was doing that online with thousands of people and because I was teaching doctors how to use food sensitivity testing in their office and the same food showed up it was always gluten and dairy and soy and corn and eggs and peanuts so I was like why are the elimination diets with look so complicated let's just focus on these ones but what I found is when I didn't add sugar people were just moving over to sugar and I couldn't think about that because I'm not a sugar person but I saw it over and over again and fructose actually can make your gut more perm and artificial sweeteners can disrupt your gut microbiome so I write the Virgin diet I slip sugar and there is one of the seven and this is like the uproar I can quit those six I can't can't get rid of the sugar so all those real diehard sugar addicts were the people I wrote the sugar impact diet for and what I did first was I did a little pilot test because I thought if I can if I can do this with them then I can do it with anybody right these are the ones that have failed these are the ones they're self proclaimed I'm a sugar addict I can't handle it and so the first thing I did was I went to Amazon like why have there been so many books written about sugar and yet we still have the problem what's really going on in my sense was because we were not taking people through the transition from being a sugar burner to a fat burner we were just trying to like go here cold turkey and unless you go stick them at Betty Ford this is not gonna work interesting that you liken it that hard to addiction do you really mean that there's that kind of intense physiological withdrawal oh yes well because think about it if you're used to eating sugar and most people don't even realize where it's sneaking in and again they don't think about that green drink that they drank that actually is more sugar than a soda right because it's a green drink yay for me or the fruit smoothie or whatever they don't think about all the places that's that kills me some mochas the bars like you look at a salad where they had the candied walnuts and then the dried fruit and then the raspberry vinaigrette or they went had Chinese food right they just load themselves with sugar so all of a sudden you've got a body that's used to having incoming sugar throughout the day and using that for energy and you yank it and if your insulin resistance it's not like your buddy goes okay no I'm just gonna use that fat for a fuel source I'll go dig it out of the belly that'll be perfect no goes where is it and you start to feel crappy and so what happens when you start to feel crappy and lotion you know low blood sugar you're not gonna go wait it out you're gonna go get a cookie so I knew that we had to take people through a transition from being a sugar burner to help them becoming a fat burner and what i did was i rated foods high medium and low sugar impact not based on sugar alone but really looking at fructose separately and then also looking at how fast carbohydrates turn into sugar because you know just because something isn't straight sugar doesn't mean your body's not turning into sugar quickly like white bread right so that's what I did and I tapered from say you know someone eating white pasta to rice pasta to spaghetti squash that would be an example of a taper but over time and then the other thing is I love adding before I take away when you think about it in most diets what do they tell you to do okay take this out take this out take this out and the minute someone says you can't have that I'm like obsessed thinking about it but if you start with telling them listen I want to make sure you're getting clean protein aged meals some good healthy fats foods with a lot of fiber that trifecta for good blood sugar balance cuz that's really the key to everything you crowd out a lot of the crap so that's kind of step one that's really interesting now thinking back to one thing that you said that really surprised you and it certainly surprised me when you told me is with all the people that you've worked with when you asked like why is it that why do you think you struggle with losing weight the answer that people gave you I found really really interesting what was it that they told you how do you know this stuff oh my goodness I've deep into the world oh wow I'm wondering what else you know yeah this was a shocker cuz I literally thought with everything that I do when I asked my community what if you're not where you want to be with your weight why not I figured they'd go it just sugar you know or I can't give up my bread or my cheese and that was not it when we asked people it was because they didn't feel worthy they didn't feel good enough so we've got to always go back and start with people as to like why do you want to do this why are you important enough why is this matter before you start to try to change things for them and with them and how do you then deal with that like how do you help people through that because your there's a reason you've endured there's a reason that you've been around in such a potent force in this industry for so long and I think it's because you sit at this intersection of really understanding the the realities of the biological responses in neuro chemistry and everything of what we eat but you also understand the mindset so one I'd love to know how you help those people and then I'd love to hear the just absolutely astonishing story of how you really develop this mother warrior mentality that you have so I think maybe it's just because also I just haven't quit you know right because it's a big part of it is just continuing to show up I'm obsessed with how to help people get results I mean it was it was actually very early on when I was a personal trainer back then people were hiring me because they wanted to lose weight and I was like well you know you can't exercise out exercise a bad diet like so exercise is important for maintaining your weight and for shifting kind of your body's hormonal responses we didn't even know about hormones and exercise back then but I I knew intuitively that if you had more muscle that it wasn't about doing bunches of cardio that if you had more muscle would shift things I didn't understand it also helps with insulin sensitivity but I I knew that diet was key but what I started to see above that that was crazy was and I remember I had this one woman who I helped her and she was getting so lean and fit and healthy and her husband didn't dig it that's a he was threatened oh I saw this happen now multiple times and so she went right back to where she was and then I started to watch people as they started to lose weight and get healthier if they didn't really believe that was their self-image they started to shift back so you still you have to work on who do you want to be you know who are you what what's your vision for yourself then you start to take the steps as to how to get there and you have to be so clear on that in fact we had this woman who ate ice cream bars all the time but she like literally every hour she'd gastric-bypass but she would eat ice cream bars every hour because she'd fill up her pouch otherwise so she would wake up all night long and eat ice cream bars every hour okay crazy why she was adjacent to ice cream bars but here's what I did she remembered herself as this lean healthy fit woman she remembered when she used to be there and I was like let's get that picture we actually took a picture of her back when she was that way and put it I put on an ice cream stick and I put it in the freezer in front of the ice cream bars you know it's like when you open that think about you know cuz they can't exist together you got to pick the one right you've got to remember who you are and then operate from that so I think we've got to go back to getting really clear on the why with whatever we want to accomplish in life and then make sure that we're taking steps in that direction if you start to go this way grab out that picture again to remind yourself of who you are and where you're going you know it's that Wayne Dyer you'll you know you'll believe it when you see it you got a and you'll see it when you believe it you know it's both ways so first thing I'm gonna do is see it then I can believe it and if I believe it then I'll see it yeah talk to me about that so your story may be one of the most extraordinary stories I've ever heard of leading with belief tell us about your son what happened to him and how you were able to leverage yes when I wrote the book miracle mind said it was very interesting because people kept asking me how I did it and I'll share this story and it actually all happened and this is why it's so important to work on your habits and your mindset and your health because you never know when you were going to be called this level and have this so this actually happened on a Monday on a Sunday I was walking through an airport I just been to a big event and they'd been training on the hero's journey and I thought well I got no good hero's journey be careful what you ask for my book was getting ready to launch the Virgin diet was couple I think four weeks out to our big pre-launch campaign I'd invested everything into it and I'd borrowed money I am the financial support for my kids they're 15 and 16 my son grant who was 16 walks out at dusk to go to a friend's house and the next thing I know my other son next husband come running into the house and say grants hit by a car and airlifted to the local hospital now you don't airlift someone when they break they're like we did not know what was going on my son and my ex-husband drove by the accident scene was only a couple blocks from her house and saw saw all of this like leftover remnants of a scene and asked what had happened and there was a policeman on the scene who looked at my other son and said a boy got hit he looked just like him because they were Irish twins right they were a year apart so we raced to the hospital and they assure us into a conference room this doctor said your son's been the victim of a hit and run and he was a neighbor actually saw this saw a woman get out of her car gas get back in her car drive off so or so your son's been a victim of a hit and run he has a torn aorta that is what killed Princess Diana it was hanging on by an onion skin he says it's gonna rupture sometime in the next 24 hours if it's not repaired but we can't repair it here it's a very specialized surgery and he's got three multiple brain blades if we were to repair his aorta his brain would bleed out because we'd have to use the blood thinner and it was like I was looking at a movie it was like my brain was going not your son not your son not your saying this could not be real because he was covered in road rash and he had these bones sticking through his skin and the doctor said you know you gotta let him go and he says he's never gonna survive the airlift to the hospital in LA he needs to go to and even if he was he wouldn't survive surgery and even if he did he'd be so brain damaged it wouldn't be worth it to which my 15 year old Yoda son says so maybe 0.25 percent chance you make it and the doctors say yeah that sounds about right son because well we'll take those odds the doctor walks up to me there's five surgical teams well and the doctor that put it all together who's totally an angel said you know he's like you the mom my complete mess he goes listen I got this I do this all the time I just fixed one couple days ago someone got thrown off an overpass I totally can do this don't worry about it you go up to the waiting room I'll come get you in a couple hours when I'm done I said all right and I was on a discovery show at the time so I looked to the waiting room and I'm writing all the blogs and stuff I have to done cuz he said he'd be fine so I'm like totally gonna go with that and I get he comes up it was all right he's fine fixed because now I don't know if he'll ever wake up that's not my job I'm just the plumber I'm like great I walked into Grant and you know he's in this deep coma he had to have two orthopedic teams putting rods into his femurs so I'm holding these couple fingers and I said grant you know I love you so much we're here no response and the machines are going beep beep gonna nothing's happening and then I said and your girlfriend Mackenzie loves you so much and I feel this squeeze like he's there and then I said another name I knew wouldn't make any difference and no response and I said and your brother Bryce is right here with you and it was like BAM lift my hand I bought the bed and that's when I said grant I need you to fight you you're gonna be a hundred and ten percent I have got every resource you need here I'm calling them all in your name means warrior you need to fight I will get you to be a hundred and ten percent we've got this and he is better than he was before the accent well now I need to manifest the next big one for him but he is better than before the accent he literally is that's incredible how do you think the your mentality and flipping that switch when your senses are right you know we'll take those odds how does that actually influence your decision-making so for somebody that hears the story and thinks I can never do that how does does deciding that you're going to make this happen how does it actually play out so I had this great mentor at 30 who is responsible for my son being a lot she's responsible really for everything that's happened and I wish she was here so I could tell her she unfortunately passed but I'm sure she knows and it all happened because I was a personal trainer in Fort Lauderdale and she said to me when at one point she was why are you in school because I was at University of Miami and grad school and I said well because I want to impact more people she was great huh what do you do when you graduate I said I'm gonna go get my doctorate it goes huh why I go cuz I want to impact more people and well you know those don't actually correlate and they go they don't because in my family you just went to school that's what you do you graduate from high school you went to college and then when sure I was at UCLA and everyone at you said I had to go to grad school like it was just what you did I never gave any thought to well maybe that doesn't get you where you want to go she was all taeju and she was a self-made multi-millionaire who grew up in a trailer park well I said alright that's awesome I'm in I literally sold my personal training business and moved into her house and it was like a mr. Miyagi moment where I move in and I'm like alright teach me I'm ready like that want to learn everything about business could be awesome and she goes cool put the rubber bands on so put these rubber bands on my wrist she goes now every time you have a limiting belief judgment critical snap it like alright when you gonna teach me business that like she was not I will well go start there because you don't realize it if you do not tightly manage your environment that if someone tells you can't do something they'll be right because the reality is we create our luck anything is possible I knew with my son as long as he was breathing that I could harness anything out I mean I have so many contacts and with the internet we all do right and I could get him there because I was gonna keep turning stones over until I got him to be a hundred and ten percent until I got him to be better than he was before the accident that it was completely possible to do but at first if you think about it every single thing that we do in life is created twice like you didn't sit down one day and build the first quest bar physically it first started here right sure so anything that we want to do has to first start here you stir first start with the belief and then just go make it happen one foot after the next after the next and that's what I did with grant I mean there was literally any person who thought logically was that there's no way but he was still breathing there was a point to five percent chance and I just knew that I just keep staying forward and going what's neck what's next what's next Steven when he was in a coma we started with essential else and we had a progesterone then we added fish oil we started doing hyperbaric we did stem cells I brought in all of the top doctors who fortunately was friends with a lot of them but I had amazing help from people like dr. Daniel Amen and dr. Holick ass so I just started recruiting people to help like did you already know dr. Ian fortunately I knew and I'd known him for years and so I just reached out and asked people I'd heard about progesterone therapy from from a buddy of mine dr. Annika Becka and she told me about the researcher who discovered it and I just emailed him and asked him about it because it was a 72-hour therapy for people to give them progesterone to help with reducing inflammation in the brain and I said hey I'm outside of the 72-hour window will this still work he goes we just did 72 hours because that's what the funding was like ah I go if it was your family member would you do it past that and he goes absolutely I good that's all I needed to know thank you so much right how do you keep turning over those rocks like it walked me through that process this is something that I think a lot you talk about like people need to prepare now I think this would be really useful for people they don't know when they're gonna need it but sometime gonna need it where they're in just a terrifying situation they're absolutely paralyzed they do not know what to do and some of that's like the memory game at first it just starts with you turn over a card it's exactly that's exactly it so when you think about life there's one thing for sure things are gonna happen and how you show up can be a life-or-death situation now when I wrote miracle mindset I honestly didn't know if grant was going to bank it when I was writing that book because one things that happens when you have a brain injury is that you're very suicidal and he tried to kill himself numerous times numerous times I mean I remember at one point I was like I'd like to jump him you know and he was dragging me down the street telling me he was just gonna get hit by a car again and I'm like getting dragged down the street right I called 911 dragged down the street you know but I'm like I'm not letting go you're going down together first I thought well this is the story about my sons arriving oh it's got nothing to do with my son surviving it is how you show up when situations happen because they're going to and if you look at the most successful people that we both know teen cross COC and Joe polish and everyone's been through crap I mean shoot Dean lived not not in a trailer he lived in a bathroom right I mean it's how you show up that changes everything and the cool thing is is that's got nothing to do with your race your religion how much money you have how tall you are it's got to do with your mindset you can train that and again I was just lucky at age 30 that I had a woman take me under her wing and I literally for six months I didn't get to learn business for six months for six months she taught me on mindset I'm controlling my environment on staying positive on being a possibility thinker on turning over all those stones because you just start with that first step every where I am right now was because of those things she taught me when I was 30 and I put into motion you said that she taught you a lot of raises what were some of the phrases that have stayed with you a big one is the only limitations are the limitations in your mind she had us do something early on where you pull out a sheet of paper and you write down everything that you want and I've done this with my mastermind okay pull out a sheet of paper write down yeah like all the things think big like like and get totally materialistic I know we're not supposed to be materialistic but write down like car you want and house you want the places you want to travel to and the shoes and then write it all down and we write it down thinking we're thinking so big right she was okay so I remember at the time I wanted a Jaguar teal green if I'm not mistaken I I didn't say how did you like that's just crazy so I wanted this Jaguar and and I wanted a condo and and she's like huh Jaguar till green why just one like why I don't need to she does I didn't ask you what you needed right and she got like so you want to live in Hawaii with a condo why not house no it's just me so you can still have a house okay I'll have a house shows well part of a Hawaiian goal now issues all right well which part of Maui and I totally I think it was like well counter partly chose well why not all of Maui okay well why not all Hawaiian Islands right you know we're so trained it but it was so good to feel so expansive if my son gets hit I could've come well I hope he survives I see a lot of people out there just surviving I didn't want him to just survive he could have just survived and been you know had a horrible quality of life that's what I was absolutely frightened of I did not know what it was gonna be like when he woke up out of that coma when he first came out of that coma he literally was lying in bed staring like this and moving one arm back it was the only thing that he could move on his body moving his arm back and forth and I'm like oh what'd I do right and that's when the the only way I could make it through that was go he's a hundred and ten percent hundred ten percent hundred and ten percent you know the hospital people that I was so insane but like I couldn't let my brain go to what if this is it what if this is it right that I could never go there and like I can I can imagine what that would feel like to have a moment where you think did saving him actually help him or hurt him and in those moments was it just that mantra like the blind faith that you were gonna get him to one hundred and ten percent that allowed you to cope or did you have other things you were doing to stay focused so knowing that I had a next step was one of those things that just was good for anxiety alright so I think in anything when we have a big vision you just have to know what the next step is so how do you how do you find that next step I mean this goes back to part of my obsession in life because it was so scary for me in my early 20s I did not know how to turn rocks over and I certainly didn't think that the answer was just keep turning rocks over until you find something useful like how do you help people find that next step like if somebody came to you in that moment of crisis but it was in an arena that you knew nothing about how would you help them identify the next step you know what's so cool nowadays is it's never been easier to figure out a next step that's fair right I mean come like I think about I get reached out almost every single day by someone in crisis because their loved one is has a traumatic brain injury like almost every day looking for a next step so it's pretty easy nowadays to find a next step but even if the next step is just looking for the next step you took a step right let's say someone wants to lose a hundred pounds you first have to start with something like alright I'm going to start to drink more water and that sounds so ridiculous they're like but no I want to lose 100 pounds I mean shouldn't I just go on a fast for like you know a month let's just start with you humor water then we'll start with getting more sleep then we'll start with like right if you just one step and it's that whole baby step thing it doesn't have to be it just has to be forward motion yeah I love the way you break things down it's one you're very good at starting with something super simple like drinking more water like not going from french fries to carrot sticks well the reason that I put this shirt on so I always pick assured that means something to me for the guests and I think that you look really powerfully at no what would it take and looking at tough love with love alright I dig that one thing that you have talked about which I just found astonishing is forgiveness how did you feel about the woman that hit him so it's it's interesting I didn't realize how act of a process forgiveness was so when the woman hit my son it was very interesting what happened in my town I was in LA at this hospital so I moved to LA and I was living next to the hospital in Torrance but I was getting these emails from the community in Palm Desert and it was a witch hunt well after this woman and they were I remember gal emailed me shows we're gonna put up a ten thousand dollar fund to find this woman and I said why well because she did this I'm like but hey if you're gonna put up $10,000 support my son that's a way more important thing I go be I'm not expending one bit of energy there I got to be over here and see we don't know if it was her fault like she shouldn't have driven off but I have no idea what her story was what if she was an illegal immigrant and she had children at home and she would have been put into jail and like there's so many things that could have happened we don't know we don't we don't know so what how does that change anything and maybe just maybe this is exactly what was supposed to have happened for grant maybe he needed this like we stood in the hospital that night and we went maybe this is our second chance here maybe this is the turnaround he was going down a really bad path maybe this was also was that maybe he walked in front of the car no one knows but everyone was so quick to blame this woman judge her all of the stuff and I go this is mmm there's there's no good energy going over there I'm like releasing that and I didn't spend my time there and I'd never known that you have to actually process these things if you still have a charge around someone that's by the way not hurting them whatsoever it's only hurting you right so we went through this whole process and that the reality was I went through this process and forgave this woman might my son's never none of us have ever my ex-husband neither my snow it never occurred to us from day one like I don't even call it like calling him a victim of a hit-and-run to me there are no victims only volunteers and that's another phrase from my mentor I mean by that I heard that and I wasn't quite sure I understood you decide you decide you're like something crappy happens to you you can decide that that was the worst thing ever happened to you or how you're gonna make it be good for you you look at people who've gone through bad circumstances and then and I will tell you the night that grant got hit I didn't go this is gonna be the best thing ever this is gonna be awesome right I mean but I kept going okay what's good about this how can I move forward what do I need to do to get help what can I do here right you know you just you could I could have sat there had a pity party or I could have gotten into action on what do I need to do I'm getting be 110 percent John and I literally looked at grant went this is our second chance how are we gonna do right how are we gonna make this the best thing what can we do that is not being a victim and I was like I should just let him go why don't just let him go if I'd let him go you wouldn't have gotten hit by the car a weird intuitive piece of me feels like it what this all was supposed to be exactly what it was but I was blaming myself and so I had to go through that whole forgiveness protocol and I think a lot of times your self to forgive yourself like when you really get down to it and you start to dig into all these things and you're so mad at someone the reality is quite often when you really unpack all of that the person you're most upset with is you how did you forgive yourself well there's a protocol to do it so you actually can walk through it and it may take a couple times and sometimes you have to rest for a little bit and come back and do it but there's a way that you do this where you you assign a judge and jury and you can pick who you want and then you decide where this is gonna be like where are you having this where is your courtroom and then you basically and you have the person you're charging with the crime it could be you and you go before the judge and jury and you charge the person with the crime and you let it all out I mean you just charge that person one side to the other until there's nothing left you've got it all out and then you have to step into their shoes and you have to explain what was really going on and then you come back and you basically forgive them you find what was good about this and you're empathetic to it and then you check in with the judge and jury to see if you really did it right and this is all happening in your own mind right this is not that there's no judge or jury there's no friends there there's no nothing there you're just going through all of this but it's it's really about learning to become empathetic you know they talk about like you're driving down the street and someone cuts you off and they scream at you and or you scream at them and there's such a horrible person and what you didn't know is they were wasting to the hospital because you know their mother just had a heart attack or something I could just allow you two go wait a minute what's really going on here yeah god I could keep asking you questions all day like you've you've really overcome what have been just moments of extraordinary fear how what technique do you have to deal with that to reframe I actually I believe fear is a sign that we're stepping into a bigger arena that we need to be in like to me the litmus test in life is if you are not afraid you are not playing big enough it means you need to go out bigger right I mean I can always tell them like when I'm in my comfort zone like mmm you know there is no growth in your comfort zone none so if you have taken on like I just took on a speaking gig that's totally outside my comfort zone it's already it's months away my sari like yeah you know and this is good this is gonna force me to stretch and step up to a higher level so that's what I always look at then you look and go what's the worst thing that could happen here I always go through that what's the worst thing that could happen I never sit in that because I'm always thinking to identify and manifest that thing I believe that we can manifest just about anything grants proof positive on that but I always go through ok what's the worst thing yeah but I could like walk out there fall onstage my dress could flip over my head I could totally blow it everyone can boo and throw things at me all right so did anyone die because that's my litmus test or is life really bad anyone die no all right okay cool yeah I love that all right before I asked my last question tell these guys where they can find you online it's really complicated JJ virgin calm bro well just like it sounds there it is nice and easy all right my final question what is one thing that people can change in their life to have the biggest impact on their health so I really believe in habit hacking right because if you take it one habit of time habits dictate hormones and that's going to change everything so the first thing you have to do is really make the decision that you're worth it right because if you make the decision that you're worth it because we all are here for a big reason and you can do that if you're you know exhausted tired dragging your butt so the first thing you have to do is decide that you're actually worth it and then pick that first habit that you need to do because it's different for everybody you might be sleeping great in which case that's not the habit you need to fix you might be drinking the water but it's not the big complicated thing you think it is it's one that you know you can have that first win with so that one win creates the next win creates the next one JJ thank you so much for coming on the show that was really amazing guys this what you saw here is I promise the tip of a very large iceberg the amount of wisdom that she has both on just the biological part of diet to the psychological part of why we eat why we crave the things that we crave all the way to mindset and overcoming fear and all the things that she's been through in her life and really being an extraordinary example of how to bring that all together from having the energy to fight through what she's had to fight through to having her mind in the right place and being ready to step into that role as she said to rise up and step into that bigger arena it's it's really amazing and the more you dive into the things that she's covered from her books to the talks that she gives to the interviews that she does the more you're going to be filled with the tools that you guys need to go and do the same things I promise it will be time well spent all right if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care again hey everyone I hope you loved that episode now I want to take a quick second to share about our awesome friends at butcher box butcher box delivers 100% grass-fed and grass-finished beef free-range organic chicken and heritage breed pork straight to your door every month when it comes to cooking it is really hard to find high-quality meat that you can actually trust and with what lisa has gone through I've realized just how important it is that the food you eat is raised and sourced properly and that's why Lisa and I 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Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 229,404

Rating: 4.8792958 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, jj virgin, health theory, health, health impact, impact health, nutrition, sugar, why there's so much sugar in our food, sugar conspiracy, sugar conspiracy revealed, virgin diet, sugar impact diet, miracle mindset

Id: -IrTcQxLQXM

Length: 44min 50sec (2690 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 29 2018