Why You Need to Proactively Change Your Thought Patterns & Beliefs | Gabby Bernstein; Impact Theory

[Music] once you start to develop a spiritual relationship of your own understanding you'll notice wild synchronicities in your life you'll notice invisible doors open for you and even though you're a science guy you have a lot of God in your life whether you realize it or not because you wouldn't be sitting here right now being driven by this great force of inspiration doing the major things that you've done in this world if you hadn't been tapped into that source in a way that you understand okay so maybe you find it through Fitness maybe you thought you know I'm sure that when you're in in your in your moment in your zone in that flow you feel a different energy within you something to do here's the thing I love coming to consensus that is like a deep drive within me but I also it the truth is that the way that you and I would translate it would be so different yeah that in some ways we'll have different outcomes [Music] thanks for tuning in to this episode of impact theory sponsored by our friends at Skillshare enjoy the episode everybody welcome to impact theory today's guest is the number one New York Times bestselling author who Oprah called a next-generation thought leader and the New York Times dubbed a new role model and those are not the only high praise moniker is being thrown her way her inspiring social content an incredible string of best-selling books such as the universe has your back spirit junkie and judgment detox have seen her called a lot of names YouTube named her one of their sixteen YouTube next video bloggers Mashable said she's one of the eleven must follow Twitter accounts for inspiration and Forbes listed her as one of the 20 best branded women alive Oprah named her to the supersoul 100 self-made magazine ranked her as one of the top 50 women in business and dr. oz has had her on frequently as a guest expert on his massively popular show she's also an internationally sought-after speaker who has motivated audiences across many of the most well-regarded universities around and delivered memorable talks on some of the most prestigious platforms in the world including the Ted stage and Google's lecture series she even co-hosted a Guinness world record setting group meditation session with spiritual luminary Deepak Chopra her insights into the human condition and the steps for bringing your dreams into reality have seen her featured by virtually every major media outlet there is including PBS CNN The Wall Street Journal people L women's health and countless others so please help me in welcoming the best-selling author of super attractor Gabrielle Bernstein is an amazing screen of accomplishments so thank you so much I know you talk a lot about doing things out of service and really getting yourself aligned and you know not doing things for your own sort of personal glory or satisfaction but really stepping into something that you think will help other people and that is quite literally what Lisa and I have dedicated our lives to so is always interesting to dive into somebody's who has a similar view and approach so yeah thank you for being here yeah thank you one of the things I want to talk about and this is one of my favorite ideas that you have is the notion that between you and feeling better is a decision to stop feeling yeah dad tickling which gets into neuro chemistry for me and like the ability for us to consciously shift our moods yeah how doth one do that well first let's address the viewer or listener out there that's like well I'm depressed or I'm broke or I'm chronically ill how could I decide to stop feeling bad right let's just be real with that one and I want to give an example of what that meant for me in my own life and so recently about five months ago I just was diagnosed with postpartum depression anxiety and insomnia now having authored seven self-help books and having to really fall to my needs and realize that there was something really happening here and the reason I was able to find the right resources and doctors and and even medication that I needed to to live and to survive to not you know not do difficult things to myself was because of this method because of this belief system even in my darkest moment even in the deep depression I was able to say that each day I could reach into what was a better feeling experience so I you would think through what that look like I would celebrate the good stuff I would say okay I slept one extra hour last night or think thank God I have a husband and childcare that can support me through this period or I am opening up now to the possibility of taking medication if I have to so even just leading leading myself proactively into a better feeling thought even if that better feeling thought was still kind of low vibe it was better than despair right and so it is reconditioning your your brain functioning but it's also a spiritual act because when we have those moments where we say I'd like to see things differently that's actually a prayer right and the more often we do it we change the neural pathways you talk about thoughts taking form I found that really interesting and yeah and I'm this is a terrible way to say it but I'm glad you win through something so profound because I think there's a lot of legitimacy then that's lent to that because so Lisa and I a dear friend of ours his son just committed suicide and that is so scary - yeah yeah that you sort of believe that that neuro chemistry is going to last forever right and if you're not taking steps to get out of that whether it's going and seeking professional help getting medication and certainly spending time to remind yourself that these things are ultimately changeable one way or the other it it becomes a sense of despair like you said yeah and I think then you're making a really good point which is that that I am glad that this happened to me particularly now that I'm feeling much better but I can look back and say okay that was that was divine work that was intended that was no accident because now I you know for I've been speaking for 15 years and spiritual topics but I was never fully I was probably part of the stigma you know it was like I was looking at my audiences and saying like someone Vic I'm depressed and and I wouldn't ever in a million years say get off your medication or like that was not my style but I would say things like well you know you need to deepen your meditation practice and there is actually a point where your meditation practice just doesn't work and that was the case for me you know it's like when you're dealing with a biochemical issue your tools will no longer work and that was exactly what happened for me and I love that I can speak to that with authenticity and I love that I can really really look at mental illness with so much more compassion understanding and education than I would have had I not been through this myself and to speak publicly about the fact that I had to go on medication right when I was about to launch my seven self-help book you know and then it saved my life yeah I love that that one thing that you talked about I forget where now but you were saying you know I'm standing on stage and somebody asks me hey I feel like a fraud I'm a life coach and yeah and I'm trying to tell people how to do this and but I feel like I have my own issues and you were like girl I'm my own head case you know I've got the mic and my face is on all these books but acknowledging that yeah and processing through that is sort of how I'm able to actually do something useful for people it's walk us through the process the process of how you in the midst of that despair one can remember that there are steps to getting out and then to being able to frame it in a way where you can have appreciation for it yeah well first is that throughout the last 20 years I've really know 15 to 20 years I've had a really devotional faith practice and faith of my own understanding really believing that there is a higher power working with me so even in the darkest moments of despair getting sober 25 it was that faith that led me into the next right action remembering trauma in 2016 it was the faith that got me out of bed in the morning and out of that desperation if we can I'm gonna sort of point some mile markers you you want to come back to the remembering trauma yeah I would love to understand that so it it had been completely just forgotten you weren't in touch with it at all but you had sort of physical yeah yeah please okay here we go and I really want to go there because we're all walking around traumatized right let's be real every single one of us has some kind of trauma that's dictated the path of our life and we are you know I have this ten month old and I look at him and he's so free he's so fierce and amazing and free and every day I'm just like please stay there as long as you can and you know even the littlest things will help guide us to detour into fear and build this pretense that we begin to develop but then there's the the more severe cases where someone has had sexual trauma or or you know physical trauma or mental you know mental abuse or whatever it may have been that you know really derails them particularly as children what happens is is often when you're a child you're it's almost too much for you to take on that you dissociate and it's like your brain is actually brilliant right the brain just takes it and tucks it away and says we're gonna store this over here because it's too scary to face and so I have no memories of my childhood the zero to what age really I mean even I really don't even remember much from high school but but but but mainly like the you know you know infant to 15 or whatever it was right and I and I always had these sort of imprinted memories of like visuals or like the closet or you know just sort of imprints that when I thought about that mode be like my body wouldn't lie you know and then I had all these different symptoms drug addiction I had I had work addiction TMJ got issues chronic pain and my neck these are all trauma symptoms okay and worst of all was this like desperate need to be in control okay because if I was in any way feeling out of control I wouldn't feel safe and a feeling that I couldn't trust anyone okay so there was more there's more than that but that does of the big ones and so I I was I was always just in this like very frantic state and I always thought like okay I'm okay because I have faith and I have God and I have all this and so I can bring myself back where myself back was this constant yo-yo of being so far out and then coming back and so far out and coming back and melting down and coming back and listened you know is exactly as it needed to be in that time I probably wrote six books right but it was it was it was difficult and then around 2016 I started cracking into something I was having they went hope left side of my body went numb and I had to have MRIs and there was stress induced and and it was getting worse and worse and then it was actually in LA just down the road my friend's house and that night I had a dream where I remembered being a child having sexual trauma and then I remember being an adult confronting it and when I woke up it was the most real experience I've ever had in a dream where I woke up it was like that happened and then what did I do is it hell no I'm not looking at that goodbye hell no and then ultimately what happened was days later I remembered it in a therapy session and so that that moment of remembering was the scariest moment in my life but it was the catalyst for my great healing and the freedom that I have right now sitting with you I love your concepts around healing and healing takes time and all that is how does one begin that process so awareness that's yeah it seems like yeah bit yeah walk people through how to begin that journey yeah whether they've realized their trauma or just in general yeah exactly yeah so ultimately I think when we begin to identify the root cause of our conditions and we become conscious enough to look at the places that scare us and say okay you know I don't have a gut condition I have a trauma condition or I don't have an insomnia condition I have an anxiety and condition because of the way I was brought up or whatever it is and we have the bravery to go to those places whether it be through the guidance of a self-help book or be through the guidance ideally of a psychiatrist or a therapist or somebody that can guide you or a counselor or a support group to look at those places or a 12-step program and to do that inventory you have this opportunity to recognize that the conditions that you've placed upon yourself are not the problem the root cause is what's causing it and what is what's there and so the first step is to really honor the wounds and really really respect yourself for having the bravery to even look at them because so many people walk around trigger trigger and trigger trigger trigger all day long trigger trigger trigger little things out of control they blow up you know this thing happens they shut down and it's just all day long constant triggers and the first step to really healing that behavior and that kind of fight-or-flight lifestyle really is to begin by recognizing that there's something underneath it that's the first step so you begin to recognize there's something there you're in the yo-yo mode of you're able to rebalance but something then we'll reach rigor you and it pulls you way out you rebalance again but then it pulls you way out how do you begin to get to the point where either you're pulled less far out you're pulled out less frequently how do you then take that next step that's a great question so in my recovery from remembering the trauma it's been four years now I have done a deep dive of lots of therapy and EMDR therapy which I highly recommend never heard of that would go come on really EMDR I mean everyone could benefit from it it's a movement to sensitization and reprocessing and it's you hold either buzzers in your hand that buzzbuzz buzzbuzz or in your ears buzz buzz buzz or you would have someone you know going like this back and forth your eyes they're going back and forth and while you're buzzing you're going into the emotional disturbance so you guys asking you questions you have a therapy as an EMG are trained therapists guiding you and they're there helping you identify like what is the what what what is the the direction we're gonna go in today right what is what's the trigger that we're going to touch today and it may not be like you go right into the trauma you actually could be going into the guilt that you have right now and much like emotional freedom technique are you familiar with tapping no so yes tapping vaguely okay so I teach tapping I can speak more from an that standpoint but similar EMDR and tapping it's like the the issue is like a tabletop and once you kick out one leg that's an aspect of that issue the next leg kicks out the next leg kicks and then it starts to dissolve right and or the table Falls so in the case of EMDR you can go into these different disturbances and you can really address them Wow buzzing and then the buzzing you'll be losing do its bilateral brain functioning so it's it's it's unlocking the Magdala ultimately so what was found was that when there's that that stimulant that's that's stimulating both sides of the brain while you're talking about the emotional disturbance there's an unlocking that occurs and when you say it unlocks the amygdala are you trying to reactivate the amid door well no in some cases I think what's happening is it's releasing the trauma so so the trauma is stored and through this process it gets in some cases you could have an EMD our session and walk out feeling completely different that day yeah it's exceptional so that's been a really big part of my recovery emotional freedom technique what's that EFT tapping so that's just for the eyes are called emotional freedom technique well the founder of tapping named it emotional freedom technique because was ultimately happening is like I said earlier there's an energetic disturbance so you're not necessarily tapping to heal the phobia you're tapping to heal the emotional disturbance that's triggering the phobia okay you got it in art so the one time that I saw somebody do tapping they were getting carsick and they started tapping tapping and so is it is it trying to get you into using a sort of physical stimulus to get you into a different mental and emotional state is it meant to draw your attention what tab you're tapping at different energy meridians while you're talking about the emotional disturbance similar to the EMDR and that that whole process of like the acupressure and psych psychotherapy kind of the the talk the talking through while you have that pressure point is what deactivates that response that that triggered response you're trying to disrupt at sort of a biological process level to use my language energy to use your language my language in this case would be emotional disturbance right so and with tapping once again similar to MDR you don't have to tap on the trauma you could just tap on being carsick but tapping on being carsick could activate a deeper level of healing even if you're not going into exactly what it's about does that make sense sure yeah it's really I mean I tap daily and it the design of that is to basically intercept an impulse memory a sort of body level feeling and begin to create a new Association is it meant to guide you out of one mood into another or that will happen like at the beginning of tapping you have a most pressing issue and you would like you know my gut hurts or I'm scared or whatever I'm nauseous and then you rate it from zero to ten ten being the highest and when you're done tapping you you rate it because there's this thing called the apex effect which means that when when you tap sometimes you can forget where you were meaning you forget where you are physically or what you were chasing you start at a ten and you get down to a two you forget that you were ever at a ten no no I was good at a whole time didn't do anything right so the most pressing issue is what's what's allowing us to get to recognition of the how well it worked in five minutes or two minutes or something it's very interesting so I saw you do a live meditation one time very very briefly and you said even in the ten seconds or whatever that we just did that I could feel an energetic shift which meditation is something I have a lot of experience with and it was really life-changing for me and it's one of those where I will agree with you that meditation really is for everybody and everybody should be trying it and if you're not getting benefits yet that would keep practicing that I understand and sort of at a physiological level I get how we're going from the excitatory impulses of the sympathetic nervous system we're moving into the parasympathetic nervous and you you can literally feel yourself just relaxing and changing are there other things you do because I know that you're an avid meditator as well I know that you're really intentional about how you begin your day what are some things that you do to really sort of shape that energy state anybody who's watching long enough knows I don't use that word but I know that that I think makes a lot of sense for you so what would be the word that you would use I'm all about biological systems okay so from that standpoint and look you're always very generous with your language and you're always saying that you know whatever usually when referencing faith you say whatever shape it takes for you yeah so in many ways we're talking about the same thing just indifferently you know it's just by a thousand plus translators and we're communicating in it in the ways that are relevant to us i aggressively first thing that's watching you it's like I recognize myself in him and I'm gonna follow that right it's perfect yeah so what are things that you do to begin to shape that whether it's a morning routine or meditation or whatever else shifts your energy rapidly one of the most transformational things I've been gifted with is TM Transcendental Meditation you use a mantra yes I have a bunch of course you can't say I won't tell you that's so interesting people really die hard about that they do to you no way would I ever tell you hell no it's my mantra and you know it so I'm always laughing I'm like everybody a month that's not making anyone you know I was trained by the David Lynch foundation so being trained in TM was really really beneficial for my trauma was really beneficial for most important for my nervous system so you know I get what to 20-minute meditations in every day what is the nature of TM meditation I actually I know it by name I know that it uses a mantra I've never done it so I have no idea experientially I've done mindfulness yeah and I've done what I call just breathe yeah it's all kind of interconnected with TM you have a mantra and you repeat your mantra and you do this for 20 minutes twice a day and the mantras sort of just the sound right it's not like gluten-free bread you're not saying that okay so what's the idea behind the mantra is it is it just sort of clearing the mind yes so you repeat your mantra and your Pete your mantra and your people your mantra and that's a single pointed focus a mantra is a single pointed focus and when you start to notice yourself go into what do I having for lunch or I'm late for my meeting or wherever you're gonna go the simplicity is that you notice it and then you just return to your mantra the same as you would return to your breath ultimately being in that repetition of the mantra then you can get to a place where you're sort of in this in this as I would say you know spiritually aligned state where you are so released from thought that your that your nervous system can relax but what I love about it is that I have an anchor that I can continue to return to you and just return to and return to and now because I practice is so strong I can just sit in the back of an uber close my eyes even if like there's crazy music on or something and just right away start to feel this just like deep joy and peace come in and I also recognize that when I have a TM meditation where I'm thinking a lot thinking a lot thinking a lot but that's okay that's for any meditation that's an active meditation and that's okay because whatever is coming up during that active meditation is unprocessed feelings that need to be cleared and even if they're coming up is like I'm mad that I ate that for breakfast it's something deeper and it needed to come up so you can clear it so don't judge what comes up in your meditation I want to come back to the things you do to shift your energy but the the whole idea of judgement I think is really really interesting so you have said and I think very rightly and very profoundly that okay look you're always going to judge but you want to not believe it how do you how do you practice that how did you go from judging yourself which i think is maybe the most destructive how did you go from that to realizing this is actually just a story and I don't have to believe it yeah the most important book I've written and it's not the most popular it's called judgment detox and it's funny it's the one book that most people don't finish not everybody because there's some real fierce you know spirit junkies out there that are like I got this and I did this and they'll come up to me in events and I can see it in their eyes I can see it in their eyes that they have practiced these principles I think that the reason that people don't finish is because it's hard work it's it's a commitment and it's a mental reconditioning so it's it's much like what we were talking about earlier we know witnessing looking at the judgement honoring the the the shame and the wound that lives beneath the judgment seeing someone for the first time forgiveness is a huge part of this meditations a big part of this and it require in the book because it's such a root cause condition that causes us to judge we judge because we are actually judging a disowned part of our own shadow when you say shadow do you mean in the Jungian sense yes and you know the the shadow side of us meaning that when we that the places that we are unwilling to look at the ego side the the part of us is driven by fear and the and the wounds that we have been unwilling to recognize right the unwillingness to recognize those wounds and so in that in that state of judgment we're often just projecting what it is that we don't want to identify in ourselves and so if it's you know some judging with jealousy it's because we don't feel we're good enough if it's judging somebody for having more of what you want you know it's it's because you know you don't identify as yourself of being worthy or if it's judging somebody from the standpoint of or not even somebody's judging yourself is just another form of addiction in many ways because it's it's a way of running from what's actually there interesting how is it because you're saying that it gives people something to obsess on and focus on really underneath it that's interesting exactly right so judgment is an addiction 100% so I see a lot of people in my life close people family members that are just like pretty much judging all day long judgments out like deeply deeply enjoyed and what I also identifying that person that's someone that has not done any personal growth work that's someone who has not dealt with trauma from their childhood someone who has living in fear and the way that they're staying safe is to judgment the same way somebody else would be like I'm living in fear and the way I'm staying safe is to anesthetize with drugs and alcohol right it's another form of addiction that's interesting so for you a definition of addiction is basically something that you obsess on to allow you to not deal with the things that are knocking at your door anything that you obsessively put in place of your core emotions and feelings any time you're trying to anesthetize anytime you're using anything to avoid facing the truth and I've been in sober Oh cover for 14 years and I can really honestly say that it's trauma that leads us into addiction what led you out I don't remember coming across any big sort of rock bottom story maybe I just missed it because it was 14 years ago and that's what I was talking about that I've had other rock bottom's is that well what was the thing that allowed you to flip the switch so I was 25 years old when I got cleaned and I had at the time as you know I had not identified my trauma I didn't know why I was using I had a whole story in my head about how perfect my childhood was that's the thing that we do when you're traumatized as a child you're like build the story around your life like all everything was perfectly I was good right and so it's like why would I ever become an addict well now I know but I was I was really really heavily trying to prove myself to the world I was 21 years old I started a business that was a PR business representing nightclubs and so that was the perfect place to run and hide and of course you know that would lead down the road of in my case cocaine which was my drug of choice because I wanted to be in control and so cocaine is a is a great drug that can take you down fast right you know and it's and it's also you know I feel blessed that cocaine was my drug of choice because it's easier to get off of it's not necessarily easy but it's easier than opioids and you know heroin and what were a lot of people were dealing with today and so I actually hit such a bottom where I was sitting in my studio apartment it was like I don't know 5 a.m. staring at the stack of self-help books next to my bed because I was seeking seeking seeking all throughout my addiction seeking and looking at those self-help books and thinking to myself I'm so far away from that but that's and I know that's Who I am and I sat on the floor of my studio apartment and I said to myself God universe whoever is out there I need a miracle I I was just I sent out the call I need a miracle and that day I heard a voice of my intuition my inspiration it's really moving to me right now because I just celebrated 14 years thank you the inner voice you can call it inspiration or intuition I call it God said to me get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams and that day I went into a recovery program on my own I walked right in and I got sober that day and I've been clean ever since and yeah last two weeks ago I celebrated 14 years and my sobriety gave me everything because my sobriety was getting clean you put down the drink of the drug but if you're getting clean with the with with really good spiritual guidance it also opens you up to a higher power of your own understanding and then that dictates the rest of your life why do you think a higher power is so useful I've heard that spoken about a lot with recovery that the notion of letting go and relying on something bigger than yourself is somehow very very useful it's not just for getting sober it's for life in my opinion and like I say I love the language of the 12 steps the higher power of your own understanding because we were told or in my books I was saying this is your God or this is your angel if I won't take you screw you and I think what's working so well is just saying you decide I'm here to crack you open and you decide once you start to develop a spiritual relationship of your own understanding you'll notice wild synchronicities in your life you'll notice being invisible doors open for you and even though you're a science guy you have a lot of God in your life whether you realize it or not because you wouldn't be sitting here right now being driven by this great force of inspiration doing the major things that you've done in this world if you hadn't been tapped into that source in a way that you understand okay so maybe you find it through Fitness maybe you thought you know I'm sure that when you're in in your in your mode in your zone in that flow you feel a different energy within you something to do here's the thing I love coming to consensus that is like a deep drive within me but I also it the truth is that the way that you and I would translate it would be so different yeah that in some ways we'll have different outcomes so for instance we'll take patients I know you encourage people in the book super attractor it's be patient it's one of the chapters and I have railed against patients in my social content and all that and I rail against patients for a certain type of person I don't think everybody should take my advice I think people who want a stress-free the easier gentler way to live should probably avoid me and virtually everything that I say because I'm not leading people down that path yeah so it's interesting I so agree with you on like our ability to shift our energy and stuff I think you're more patient than you think let me let me let me let me please completely reorganize okay I will first have to ask you to define patients because if we simply disagree on the definition and we're ultimately patient without faith you can be patients faith in whatever it is that you're doing in life whatever it is that you desire and so the reason that you have so this fast-paced way of doing things and get it done and allow it to have is because you're faithful it's because you believe in it I don't agree okay go ahead so no please I believe it is how come I know that everything I say I say in good faith so I think that you're bringing something beautiful to the world I think you were beyond sincere in your desire to help people and you take so many amazing steps to do that so my thinking is that one I don't have faith in a higher power or even necessarily myself beyond that I will keep putting energy and effort into something yeah but I spend so many mental cycles trying to you're out how I'm wrong that that is the birthplace of my my fear of patience when people if they're if they're trying to accomplish something extraordinary let's define that because that I don't think that it is a necessary path I don't think anybody has a mortality or for finding a partner yeah it's different right it probably would be if somebody were your own story about fertility I think a very powerful example of the right move there is patience yeah patience as I tell people not to be patient but I think in that particular case the relaxation that is needed let's buy a lot here because I want to talk about like that kind of stuff but I also really am digging what you're saying so I see something that I need to say please so you're saying I have this way that I unpack things correct me if I'm wrong and find the fault so that I can make sure that it's going to be this elevated thing that's going to show up in my life is that correct I don't understand the use of the word elevator okay so though I am I won't even go that far I will just say that impact happens to be my goal yeah but I'm actually driven by goals yeah goals do not have an infinite number of paths to achieving them they're only certain paths that will work yeah and so I think people are the reason that most dreams never come true and this I think we will disagree on at least in the words that we use the reason I think most dreams don't come true is that people never developed a skill set they need to actually get there so so my thing there is when somebody is patient and they think things will just come to them it's beyond false but when I hear you say things like you have to just go I'm like okay that I'm with I was in percent here we go you are practicing in your life a principle that I have in super attractor called spiritually aligned action and it's a method of creating but creating from forget the word spiritual alignment because that's gonna take you out okay joy so you have fun unpacking things you have fun reaching for goals it's a it's your driving force in life it's it wakes you up in the morning or wakes you up in the middle of the night with excitement it's what it's what has created this right part of it okay okay it's joyful for you it can be okay and enjoy follow the fun which is one of your maybe not mantras but like I love yes yes so my entire books super attractor it has the premise that it's good to feel good and when you feel good you were a super attractor and so you could be hustling right and feeling good and still like working where I work a lot like I hustle at times right and it's when I'm in that joy and when I'm allowing inspiration to move through me that I'm taking what I refer to as spiritually aligned action so I could be doing way more than imaginable than the average person which I can do I have the capacity to do more in one day or one hour than people could do in two months okay that is just because I'm so inspired by it because I'm so psyched about it and that's what you're doing okay and so when I say you are actually actually living in a patient state because you believe in what you're doing because you have joy whether that's coming through with what you're doing and so when you take action from a place of spiritual alignment okay and that spiritual alignment comes with making sure that the desired goal is back with service and love which I know is 100 percent right that's correct I know that I wouldn't be sitting here if it wasn't the truth the truth but that's that's number one the first step of spiritual alignment the second step is believing and I know you believe in yourself because we would not be sitting here if you did it okay you believe in humans and you believe that you are here to facilitate service and love for humans yeah now you're getting into meant to be which I don't believe in okay so I have chosen that path that's right okay so that's that's the path I've chosen so you believe right believe in what believe that the actions that you're taking have purpose yes I have imbued the actions that I take with purpose and I do think that we have innate reward systems for helping the group yeah and so being of service to other people is neurologically rewarding whether you want it to be or not do you believe in that yes yeah and whatever form is right for you and then the third step is take action from a place of spiritual alignment so when you take actions right when you pick up the phone you're about to make that big call that's going to begin quest right or start impact theory you feel good right when you make that call I probably I mean certainly back in quest I would have felt terrifyingly anxious but anxious but excited yeah yeah I don't want to get lost in whether I was excited or not because everything you said up to this point is wonderful I think the only sort of edge case moment where and I don't know if it matters yeah but the edge case where I would say we disagree is is is the notion of patience so there is a part to the law of attraction where it's like hey the universe is actively working for you I don't believe that I think the universe is neutral it is beyond and different to what you want but I think that what you are is is calling in what what you are I don't understand the question so that like the energy that you're putting out may be just or the intentions or the purpose that you're putting out is coming back to you do you believe that just I think humans will reflect it back so if you are rad to be around and this is straight out of your book yeah if you were you don't use these words but if you're rad to be around people gonna want to be around you that you're much more yeah perfect yeah you're much more likely to get people that want to team up with you and then a lot more things become so I think we agree on so much so just on the the patience thing so that we close the loop on that when it comes to patience I think that the reason people's dreams don't come true is they never acquire the skills to actually be able to execute against it yeah because it's like building a house wanting it is not enough you have to go become an architect we are 100% on the same page about that this this chapter and super attractor is called spiritual aligned action is not a chapter on just sitting on your ass and meditating and thinking it's going to come to you it's a chapter on taking action like Gabby Bernstein wouldn't be sitting here right now having authored seven books in eight years if I didn't take some action so here's I'll give you the language that I use that people often confuse for patience and you're gonna be tempted for a minute to believe you're saying the same thing so I really really believe when you look at the world at large and maybe we disagree on this but when I look at the world at large yeah the vast vast majority of humanity never make their dreams come true the vast majority of humanity live in a dark and terrifying place they died before they ever figure it out so I have given my life over to asking the question why the is that true yeah yeah because if everything is working for you and it's Olga then more people and I'll say I'll be generous and say 10% find a life that is really joyful on balance no one's ever gonna have perfect joy I certainly do not but on balance so all right we're talking about a 90 percent failure rate like there's something is working so actively against us yet that we have to find a way out of that now I will say what is working against you is evolutionary pressures you've been pressured evolutionary lee to survive not to thrive okay so I think the human brain is working against people in many many ways they don't understand that they get trapped one of the ways that I think it's working against them is you have the biological imperative to conserve calories which means be lazy it's another way of saying that so you get really hungry you you get tremendous sexual desire and then you crack over and you go do something about it for the most part you kind of just want to chill yeah so given those biological realities what I'm saying is if somebody decides they want to do something extraordinary route through their life which they don't need to but if they decide that they want to do that the amount of inertia that you have to overcome this is quite literally the second law of thermodynamics States all systems move towards chaos yeah now the only way according to physics to bypass that is to pour energy into the system okay so we know your life is moving towards chaos as all systems do the only way to overcome that is to pour energy into your life patience to me is about waiting it's about relaxing it's about surrender now I'm definitely using your words so once you tell somebody to get into that state it will open a certain channel for them that channel having a stress-free life finding beauty in their life connecting with other human beings really getting in touch with a spiritual nature inside being so quiet you can hear yourself those things are so important I'm not in any way shape or form diminishing them what I'm saying is there are already people that speak to what to do with that path I want to be over here you want to build something extraordinary now I'm your guy right and and I will tell you you're gonna dip into these moment you're gonna have to you're gonna have to learn to meditate you're probably even gonna want to start your day there but in terms of getting the skill set and executing Agron's against a grand vision you will have to come at everything with so much energy and intensity yeah to overcome the inertia that is inevitable because all systems move towards chaos so you were fighting against chaos yeah so in that particular Lane you cannot patients will be the death of you will be the death of your dream we have a different definition of patience but first question I have to ask you as once you started meditating regularly did you notice more successes or ease or that that things were happening faster in any way in your life I noticed a profound change in my ability to think clearly yeah I noticed a profound change in my ability to enjoy my life yeah that is the profound reduction in my anxiety okay okay and did that impact your purpose and your goals it made everything in my life better so we're saying the exact same thing that we are not and I could feel the trap I was being set up for but so I think I think it is the entire universe of meditation of relaxation of letting go there is so much power in that at a biological level and if people do not learn to do that they're never going to be able to hear themselves think right and so it didn't slow you down right no it's been me up that's what I'm talking about but now so here is speed up by slowing down all right dive into that okay speed up by slowing down I have I have created far more and I'm not Tooting my own horn I'm just trying to be a powerful example of what it looks like to live a spiritually aligned life right I have created far more in the last 15 years than I think people could do in a lifetime okay and that's not major I don't want to sound like I'm being egotistical person that is is watching right now every single person has the capacity to be this way we all are super attractors is what I refer to okay and the reason I've been able to do that is because I've had foundational practice of tuning my energy making sure that I am clearing whatever is in the way the blocks the belief systems the the you know neural programming that has blocked me 100% the chaos the choice for chaos that's not supporting me that that devotion and commitment to to slowing that down to undoing that fear to grounding my energy has given has has given me far more energy to do the things I need to do and so I show up I show up I huh like I don't actually like the word hustle anymore because I'm actually priding myself on on how relaxed I am but I want to tell you something this most recent book launched I've launched many books and I've launched them with a lot of stress and a lot of like you know force and want to get that out and want to be number one New York Times bestseller and you know there was always love and service behind the books because they wouldn't have had the success they had if it wasn't there but there was also a lot of struggle because I was in the wrong mindset and this book launched I lived and practiced what I'm preaching in super attractor and I didn't really care like the the biggest goal was to serve Souls the biggest goal was to help people feel good period end of story this book in the last two weeks has had far more success than any of my other books and when I took my publishers called me and said oh my god you're on the New York Times list I was like I didn't even realize it was Wednesday like I didn't even know that did I forgot every year before BIC it's Wednesday when's the list app I didn't realize that it was Wednesday you know I didn't care I didn't care all I cared about was that people were being served and so the but the bigger message here is that I really made relaxation and and and calm and serenity and a groundedness my highest priority in my life at this stage but that doesn't mean that I didn't get on every call with my team and look at the ads and that I didn't care about the way that we were positioning messaging and that I didn't get on Facebook live and do Facebook live I didn't show up here today to share the message I did it all but I did it with grace and ease and it had far more success as long as we don't use the word patience I'm with everything I just said but I get and this is one of those where the nuance sort of is the word pians people hate I think people know when I've been giving my talk since super tractor and I get to that spiritually lined action method and the fourth step by the way which we never got to his patience because you've already I'm gonna go there that's I say patience the entire audience like oh what do you think they're struggling with people want to well a few things one people have a belief system that if I don't make it happen it won't happen right and so they think they have to hustle and push to control to make it happen and you know very well that when you were in that might there might have been times in your life where you were in that mindset but not as inspired or not as faithful that would fall apart right because you were forcing it you're pushing it I know for myself I can say that anything that I've pushed pushed pushed to happen has has been not correct you know things would fall apart it wouldn't have success it wouldn't you know it wouldn't be wrecked it wouldn't work okay and so I think that people really dwell in the belief system particularly in America that if I don't make it happen it's not going to happen so patience is the opposite of that and is terrifying to that police system so people would say hell no that's not true for me I also think that you know people don't trust they don't have the belief system that I know you have which there's trust that that if I create this it will be and that it's going to have purpose and it's going to serve and it's going to make it impact even if it's if it's a little difficult to make happen it's gonna happen it's gonna be great they don't have that belief system and without that belief system how could you possibly be patient because you're constantly chasing something to feel good yeah the constantly chasing something to feel good I want to ask you what do you think about self-worth yeah where does it come from how do we build it people get up in my audiences and they say to me you know I don't know why like I'm trying so hard to track that partner I'm trying so hard to you know make my business so excellent and the thing that's underneath all of that is a feeling of unworthiness the reasons that we don't thrive in our lives in our careers and our in our health is a feeling of unworthiness and that's that's that often stems back to a traumatic event or an experience in life where we in some way chose a belief system that said I'm unlovable and I'm not good enough I like what you just said we chose a belief system tell me more you know if we've had a experience in our history where their father left then you know men always leave and that's our story up until we're you know dead or that you know we grew up with no money that money is gonna be a struggle and we believe that's the belief system until we choose to see it differently I've grew up in a home where there was no a lot of financial and security and when I was 21 years old I was like I made a decision I was on my own I was out of college I'm gonna support myself and I got to make some money and I was promoting parties at nightclubs my cousin owned some clubs and I started promoting parties and one night you know and I was like oh yeah I can totally do this right I can totally do this I can get my girlfriend's to say Gaby at the door like 100% but I you know I was like I can do this I can I can really give myself the ability to earn some money here and then the first night I Pro the party my cousin handed me $1,000 cash and I was like in that moment I had a quantum shift I said I know how to make money and I'm gonna keep making money well that could have still happened but I could have chosen to stay stuck in the belief system that it's not you know it's not easy to make money and I'm gonna have financial insecurity for the rest of my life and that no matter how much moments of money that would come into my life I could have deflected at all at that moment I said money is not my issue I will be supported I can and I can make money I know I can make money so I guess the point is is that in in ammo in any instant we can choose again and that's a method in the book we can choose again and - you know - your language it's a mental reconditioning talk to people about the choose again method it's it's beginning to notice those fear-based belief systems are those onion feelings of unworthiness as you said before or the stories that we have on repeat those those negative thought systems that we have on repeat that keep us stuck all day long right and for some people you've done a lot of personal growth work and there's just one lingering one or two or three lingering ones and you recognize them and you the first step is to notice the thought and notice how it makes you feel because when you recognize that it's not making you feel good then you no you are out of alignment with your super attractor power right the second step is profound it's to forgive yourself for having the thought so sometimes when we have that fear-based thought we actually believe that we are the thought we are having I am not worthy I'm not good enough I am overweight I'm a you know I'm a piece of whatever it is okay and that's a big one I hear people say a lot I think I'm a piece of how horrible is that that's when I I carry I sold I'm still working on it I'm a really yeah and so forgive yourself for having that thought and when you forgive yourself for having the thought what happens is is that you can now recognize that the forgiveness dissolves it because it makes you realize that I am NOT that I am NOT that person that's unworthy I forgive that I forgive that belief system about myself or you can forgive the thought altogether and the third step is to choose again and this is where you start to reach for the next best feeling thought and so when you're stuck in in a low vibe thought of I'm sick and I can't get well and then you forgive that yourself for having the thought oh god you know I went there again let's let's return this around and then you start to reach for the next best feeling thought you would reach for well I have access to podcasts about health or I have III I do I do have some awareness about diet and I'm gonna be able to you know read that free ebook that so-and-so put up and that ebook will put me on the right path and these little thoughts that you believe in start to guide you out and the more we proactively practice these three steps the more we literally change the way we believe yeah thatthat to me is so profound that you can actively choose to think different things and that in thinking different things that changes the way that you actually feel I think that cycle is really really important where can they find out more about you Gabby Bernstein calm nice and easy nice and straightforward what is the impact that you want to have on the world it's a big one I like this yeah yeah well here there's a little backstory for one second about it so I was I'm working really really working to relieve myself from trauma and be free you truly free and I said to my my therapist I said I don't think that 99% of people can get through this and it's kind of like what you were saying like you know 90% people don't actually have that success that you want for them I don't think that 99% people and she said 99.9% of people don't get through this and my impact is to help create systems and and help people face their shame and write books to help people truly begin to heal from traumatic experiences that have dictated their lives know that it's interesting because Deepak Chopra actually referred to your book he didn't say instruction manual but that was sort of the intimation which I like a lot all right guys definitely check this out if I loved that she called herself a translator if she is translating things in a way that makes sense to you you will love everything she has written it is very clear very articulate step-by-step tells you what to do how to do it it's all about helping you get the life do you want waking up she's referred to it many times as being that of seeing a world anew realizing that you have choices it's incredibly powerful if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care thank you that was wonderful what's up impact of this if you want to acquire new skills or improve the ones you already have then you're going to love this as you know a huge part of my life is about acquiring skills that have utility and exist in service of something greater than myself and that is why I highly recommend Skillshare Skillshare is an online learning community with over 25,000 classes across more skills than you can imagine at impact theory we view skills share for things like project management marketing analytics and even for our comic book and today skill share is giving the first 500 people who click on the link in the description to three months to their entire library of courses that's 60 days access to literally thousands of courses on whatever topics you choose for no money at all you just have to click on the link in the description below and join the classes that work for you and you will be in very good company as one of the seven million people on Skillshare and should you decide to stick around beyond your free trial an annual subscription to Skillshare is less than ten dollars a month that's nothing for a skill that could very well change your life so go ahead and click on the link in the description below to start acquiring those skills today and until next time my friends be legendary take care so if someone is having fear or panic or worry get 2 when was the first time you felt this way what was really going on in your life at that time to show them that that's not what's happening now

Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 371,292

Rating: 4.7835159 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, Gabrielle Bernstein, Super Attractor, spirit junkie, meditation, spiritual, spirituality, faith, divine work, trauma, emotional freedom, judgment, addiction, energy, patience, self-worth, mindset, relaxation, calm, belief system, forgiveness.

Id: 9BHlM56LCBk

Length: 55min 11sec (3311 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 05 2019