Change Your Life by Changing Your Thought Process | Brendon Burchard

[Music] your life is a series of actions that you initiate or don't initiate and that your thoughts are gonna control that roadmap and so how are you using your mind today to either make yourself feel great or not I posted on Instagram this morning I said listen your destinies ultimately controlled do by a decision you've already made this morning everyone watching this already made a decision this morning this morning they made it a life-changing huge decision this morning and that is either I'm gonna get up enter the world with no intention go through the motions to hopefully get by or survive or I am going to get clear in this morning about what I want what I'm going after who I'm going to be how I'm gonna serve and whether or not I'm gonna be excellent and extraordinary or not and the problem is most people never make that conscious decision [Music] everybody welcome to impact theory today's guest is widely recognized as the world's leading high performance coach he's written a gaggle of books and top virtually every bestseller this there is including the New York Times Wall Street Journal and Amazon I've gotten to know him personally over the last couple years and I can say that I am not at all surprised by the fact that some of the world's most successful people have enlisted him as their coach he's worked with everyone from Fortune 50 CEOs to athletes and celebrities like Usher and Oprah and he's the guy that millions of people all over the world turn to when they want to break through to that next level he's one of the top 100 most followed social influencers on Facebook with over 10 million followers his podcasts the charge life debuted at number one on iTunes and stayed in the self-help top 10 for roughly 100 weeks more than 2 million students from over 190 countries have taken his online courses and his video series has been seen over 100 million times his experts Academy was ranked by Entrepreneur Magazine as one of the five must attend events for all entrepreneurs and his recent digital magazine and live event series influencer has launched to sold-out crowds and much fanfare so please help me in welcoming the man oprah.com named one of the most successful online trainers in history the author of high-performance habits my good friend Brendon Burchard let me run it thank you thank you good good to have you pumped it is very exciting to be back with you we've actually spent a fair amount of time over the last few months together and over the last about 18 months two years maybe now that we've done some legitimate time yeah and right now half the audience is thinking this guy is he's acting like that for camera and I can just tell you right now he's always like this the amount of energy that you have is thank you really extraordinary and I want to talk to you about carbs carbs that's a lot of fun these I want to talk to you about consciously designing your life it's an idea that I see live day in and day out thank you everything in your world seems completely integrated the people that you hang out with the things you do to have the energy the things you focus on and make sure that you remain excited like it all feels like there's nothing that sort of by accident in your life so what's the whole concept and how do you actually pull it off you know I think I've talked about this last time a little bit with my car accident so when I was a 19 year old kid I had this car accident and prior to the car accident I had been suicidal and you know coming out of breakup with the woman I loved I lost my identity in that became suicidal had the car accident and it was just powerful juxtaposition because here I am suicidal want to take my life and then I get an accident that says oh no I don't want to die and it forced me to consider how I will evaluate my life at the end of my life and that has always been the driving force for me is I realized the end of my life for me personally I'm gonna ask these questions to evaluate was I happy with my life and those from yard did I live did I love did I matter which isn't some people watching like so what but I was 19 and it's set in me and so if you think about it you know that was what 23 years ago if you wake up every day with a super clear intention and reverence for life realizing how short it is you absolutely get your act together but how do you like how do you really turn that into a road map and start doing the right things because one I think a lot of people could waste a moment like that the eye-opening thing a lot of people could do it for a while and without without concrete things to do on a daily basis like what I really want people to understand in all the research you've done in high performance and all that it comes down to things that you can do it comes down to things you can teach it comes down to things that people can structure their life rendom and what I want to dive into today is that structure yeah you know it's funny is like I think you nailed it people take an eye-opening experience and some don't do with it and some people grow from it and I came back from that experience I was in college and prior to coming back I was a depressed kid the sad kid kind of lonely kid kind of pull away from the world kid guy was hurt I came back and I had this new intention to live so I wanted to meet people and talk to people they're like who are you and anytime you change your life usually people are like what's wrong with you so I was like what's wrong with you but I was like I'm gonna change cuz I knew I didn't want misery anymore I didn't want suffering I didn't want sadness I think want negative thinking I didn't want poor quality of relationships I didn't want to feel horrible so I began the quest oh well how do I not feel horrible so I started reading first I started personal development self-help then jumped into spirituality then jumped into psychology then jumped into neuroscience then jumped into sociology then jumped into leadership and spent every week for 23 years I've read a book a week on one of those topics for 23 years I went to the seminars about the audio courses so I listened to Dale Carnegie Leah Napoleon Hill and Earl Nightingale and Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar and Louise Hay and Marianne Williamson and Debby Ford and Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer Deepak Chopra Brian Tracy and I went down deep like I'm very much like you I'm obsessive so I got obsessive into psychology Carl Rogers Alfred a the Roy balm Meister Abraham Maslow all of the positive psychology work that was developing at the time that was becoming bigger and bigger and bigger well some of the early things you were pulling out of that to begin changing I'm guessing you didn't lay in the hospital bed and yeah and have the revelation of all the things you needed to do to your mind yeah to get out so what were in those early days you're reading these books what are some of the first things that begin to hit you like I remember I had a transformational moment with Napoleon Hill and yes rich yeah and that was a real demarcation point for me the notion of oh if you're if you think you can you can and if you think you can't you can't yeah and that was that was one of those things that just sort of cut to the heart of everything for me and became something I could circle my mind around yeah what were some of those early things for you first and foremost is exactly what you start the show with this is conscious design it's like your life doesn't end up an accident your life is a series of actions that you initiate or don't initiate and that your thoughts are gonna control that roadmap and so how are you using your mind today to either make yourself feel great or not I posted on Instagram this morning I said listen your destinies ultimately controlled do by a decision you've already made this morning everyone watching this already made a decision this morning this morning they made it a life-changing huge decision this morning and that is either I'm gonna get up enter the world with no intention go through the motions to hopefully get by or survive or I am going to get clear in this morning about what I want what I'm going after who I'm going to be how I'm gonna serve and whether or not I'm gonna be excellent and extraordinary or not and the problem is most people never make that conscious decision so and so I was learning early on make the conscious decision about who you want to be each day stay congruent with that and that was you know for me a kid who's just going through the motions all of a sudden going oh who do I want to be what do I want my relationships to be like that was really important and then I started setting personal challenges every month at the beginning of each month are this whole thing where I holistically evaluate my life on the 1st of every month and it's like these 10 different categories in my life you know from emotional to relational to financial to you know career mission objectives all these things I go down that on the first month just kind of holistic viewpoint of my life and that I set a personal challenge and a professional challenge and I do that every month every Sunday I revisit my progress every Sunday for 23 years so it's not like I'm just you know one day ended up in a happy life it was like that a level of self-evaluation that most people avoid until their birthday or New Year's I do it every Sunday and every 1st of the month and I don't ever miss and I think that has helped me kind of know what my thing is because I don't think I'm super special it's like what I help people do you know this is chapter one and if hi Foreman's habits right seek clarity the only reason I get to work with all these people you mentioned because they're at a new level and their life where they're going what is it now for me and I help them kind of figure that out like what is it now for you about how you want to define yourself what types of relationships you want and how deep you want to go what is it that you want to develop as a skill sets and what is the specific service you want to provide and I just work them through that because I've been working through that myself you know so let's say it's a Sunday and what what does that look like you sitting down at a desk by yourself headphones on Journal out are you sitting at a computer you write by hand what is the the physical processor desk journal green tea desk journal green tea and by myself doors closed no phones no computer just sitting and thinking about it do you that self of the process is huge do you write as you think sometimes not always so when if you're not gonna write as you think is it a meditative practice like are you sitting there so if I'm trying to think through a problem I'll sit myself down I in a ideally a completely dark room if the Sun is already up then I'll put something over my head so that it's at least dark to me I've got over the ear headphones I'm listening to the sound of a thunderstorm something that just completely collapses my world down to two inside my mind basically and I'll return to either a visual image or a very simple sentence like one that I'm doing right now because we're attempting to get neon future one of the projects fiction projects that we're doing thank you turned into a different format the simple phrase if I come back to is reboot neon future so like what does that look like imagined in this new way and so I'll sit there and then imagery words whatever begin to flow and then I'll start I do that but I'm actually typing so I'll then I'll type out my ideas and I definitely type as I think so what is that it is it like I would say my process is very meditative yeah is yours meditative is so for that the Sunday thing it's really self evaluative and very planning oriented so it's like where am i what I need to do this week this month and just checking with my calendar so on Sundays a lot of is like just deleting things but the separate processing what things meetings blocks of time Thanks looked for what's coming you know yes because most my schedules been booked six months seven months out certainly given Sunday when I'm going through my value the process of what's important what did I need to work on I look at the schedule and notice oh wow here's that chunk of thing we scheduled three months ago delete I thought was gonna be here delete just like really clipping at the calendar most people don't have a calendar so that's problem number one they're not strategically blocking time moving towards the major things they want in their life they won't say they're going through the motions but the calendar reveals it like if I parachute in their life and I opened up their calendar and there's nothing there they can't possibly say they're living with purpose or intention and that sounds so flippant to say but I can't believe how many people they're not planning their skillset development they're not planning specific goal attainment on certain dates so just like their counter is completely empty and they're hoping it's gonna happen and it's like you look at mine it's like it's like military s like planning like I'm going to hit these goals it's going to happen so that's a piece of it but to what you were saying about the meditative process I also every morning lay in bed and I visualize what I want and I see it like when I first when I wake up I literally just lay there for an extra two three four minutes and I just kind of visualize and I'm thinking about the things that I want so that happens every morning are you willing to share an example actual example so from age of 20 to 26 probably 90% of the time I would lay there and I would see myself on stages big stages and I would sit there and see that image came up I'd freak out I got imagine myself walking on a stage with an arena and I would literally just start sweating in bed I'd lay there in bed terrified like just awfully uncomfortable because that wasn't me but I was like everyone was saying your car accident story brilliant really made a difference in my life this whole idea of having reverence for life and having you know the intention of who you want to be all these simple things that we talk about personal vomit but I would share my story of people and think oh my gosh you need to teach that and I was like you know I started hearing that I said maybe I learner to teach I'll learn to talk I'll even be more expressive because where I'm from I grew up in Irish mining town that it had been economically depressed for a century like men didn't communicate there was no emotional expression if their hands came above their waist they were punching you in the face you know I mean it was a very physical and very violent place I grew up in but there wasn't emotional expression so I laid there and I'd see myself like talking and moving onstage you visualize yourself on stage what people are watching now or listening now if you close your eyes and you see yourself on stage public speaking with no podium no notes to 10,000 people in arena most people will get clammy hands and start sweating if you really see it and think about it and feel it and put yourself there for two to three minutes I did that for six years for three to five minutes every morning I'd hear myself saying something I'd see myself moving I'd see the audience clapping or jumping up at the end I'd see myself moving across the stage in ways I never moved and that visualization created that skill set because then I'd go and I'd sometimes I'd wake up and I was good I try it out on the carpet you know I don't get up oh I like that I try it out and I try it out just in my little dorm room then my little apartment and I was always trying things out and I always wanted to get better at it and always want to get better at it so it just depends sometimes it's a specific goal like right now I'm also working on some you know major media goals and so I'm seeing myself and hearing myself talk through the deal with the people I'm pitching the second visualization I do in the morning comes later so I get up in the morning I drink 20 ounces of water I do 20 minutes of mobility movement and stretching every morning then I read for 20 minutes something positive for me it's almost always a self-help book or lead almost always sometimes a business but almost always self album and leadership read that book then I go and I sit down with my high performance planner my green tea I fill out the day right I look at the blocks of time that are already scheduled and then what I use my second visualization which is I look at the major blocks of time that have been scheduled just like this this morning and I close my eyes and I think how do I do that thing with excellence what would make that thing special so this morning before I got here when I thought about this because there's no my high performance planner impact Theory Tom Bill you oh yes three exclamation points literally so I looked at the schedule it closed my eyes and I thought okay what do I want to communicate on Tom's show how do I want that to feel what do I want to communicate with it so I literally closed my eyes and I visualized those blocks of time and how would I do them well that's a superpower most people write their day out and they just go about the day and then they sometimes they come back to the plan they go oh my god I didn't even do it because I sit there and I think about how do I do that well that's a game-changer how do you actually audit yourself how do you hold yourself accountable yeah what are the standards by which you're measuring yourself which is that alone I think is important yeah and that's something that I feel like if I were gonna put my finger on a high performance habit I would say for sure my ability to look naked ly at how I'm performing like yes almost dispassionately me to not I'm not beating myself up I'm not celebrating my I'm just saying like either it's worth objectively so how do you do that well in spirituality it's just called being the observer so you're observing your life dispassionately from a place of mindfulness and understanding where the judgment isn't there that's negative and so that's a huge part of it because a lot of people the reason they hate self-audits then they hate self-evaluation because it feels bad but they're letting it feel bad like instead just like how do I perceive this and think through instead what my real intention should be so how do I do it and others do it first I have my high performance planner which literally details out but if you don't have that forms planner here's a simple thing to do three things I want you to do every day first I want you to write ten prompts for the morning for yourself ten prompts those prompts for you might say how can we how can I be a great mother today how can I show appreciation to someone on my team today it might say how do I care for my health today it might say three words I want to keep in mind all day you know the message I have for myself today is this the most difficult thing I'm gonna face today would be this and the best way my best self could overcome it is this two big long-term projects to keep in mind are this right those like write down ten prompts so the high performance planner begins in the morning there's the ten prompts that we know correlate with long-term success that we've measured there they are so I feel that every morning second thing on what you do at the end of the night ten more prompts would I learn about myself today would I learn about other people today did I demonstrate my best today where did I not where did I get stuck where'd I get frustrated what a negative thought that I have today that I don't need to have anymore you know how did I treat people today did I move as swiftly towards my goals today that type of thing but the other piece about it is at night I do the scorecard so we for me it's the six habits of high performance now clarity energy necessity productivity influence and courage and so there's a it's like there's the word clarity and it says was I very clear about exactly what I need to do today to move forward score one to five and so what you added the third thing I want to build your scorecard for the other night and your scorecard might say dad your scorecard might say leader your scorecard might say specific but what I admit it is habit driven so it's generate energy did I generate the energy I needed today to deliver my best productivity did I avoid distraction today and only focus on the needle moving activities and what do you do if the answer is a low score on something it's always it there's so many low scores in there I just know I'm aware of it and I take that and what I do is I flip the page for the next day of the planner and I just write down don't get stuck here don't do this you know it's just it's a constant learning process the nice thing about self-awareness is the human brain has an incredible capacity for guilt and most people unconsciously let that roll over them and kick their butt and make a horrible life I love guilt guilt is a tool guilt is a weapon guilt does not have to be a bad thing it's not like I perpetuate but I'm like I love that I feel bad when I don't do a good job most people hate that about themselves I love that feeling like I didn't do a good job there next time I will so some people guilt is discouragement other people it's a signal for learning to me guilt is a signal for learning it is the body and the brain the spirit knowing what is right knowing what is wrong knowing what's great knowing what's mediocre and it's saying hey do a little better now if it's translated in a negative impulse then some people call it guilt but I'm like I'm totally cool with oh you know I think it's good that we feel bad when we do something that is below our standard or that's not right because that impulse to go I want to do that better like I wanted to make sure my I want to come back to my morning visualization I'm gonna be on Tom frigging bill you show when my favorite people on the planet I tell all my people to listen to your show watch your show like everybody every you know like the other day I was literally coaching a billionaire and I was like I'm supposed to be with Tom Bill you right now you got to watch this stuff like everybody I'm Tom Tom Tom so this morning I was thinking like how would I make that X how would I feel good being on Tom's show so when I was visualizing that the one thing I would make sure I did today was acknowledge you for how incredible of a speaker you would become well because I saw you two years ago and the tom bill you on the stage today is fundamentally the same it's the same man the congruence is there but the performance and the talent and the our with the audience has gone like this like you've gone from a passionate dude to the best speakers in America right now thank you ma'am and watching that I know that is because the impulse is like you know when you come off stage and you crush it or when you're like I can do better and that impulse that desire to learn and drive and do better is something that doesn't always feel good because it says also I kind of screwed up over there but when you can dispassionately recognize your performance and go I actually want to become great at this all of your psychological and spiritual energies kind of align a little bit to saying let's grow then and if you can allow that impulse and deal with that anxiety and that discomfort that comes with it just like when I was laying in bed for six years in an awkward super weird dude sweating in de Lille profusely sweating thinking about speaking people like profusely sweating I endured that visualization that practice that trial to for myself to become good and was part of the thing that you're practicing when you're doing that is it not having the anxiety response is that is that what you're trying to get to or are you just visualizing over and over and over I would move like this I would say things like this yeah was it purely tactical for you well luckily I just knew that psychologically with familiarity you know the odds of decreasing anxiety is extremely high so it's basically like running a simulation that simulation exactly like a pilot running that simulation over and over and over if you're a pilot and you run the simulation that crash is 50 times the first ten you're mortified the last you know 12 you're on the dials you know and so I think there's running the pattern over and over visually is really powerful the world completely underestimates the power of visualization completely miss utilizes the human power of contemplation you know the number one thing I say to my high performance clients is going through the motions is the death of hyper high performers don't go through the motions yeah they're contemplated they're intentional they're thoughtful they've practice they want it to go well and the reason most people don't do that is because the pressure it puts a lot of pressure on yourself but that's what makes people great hmm I think you're very right about that notion of contemplation and the willingness to feel badly about something I think self reward and self punishment is really really important yes and you I think that if people don't sort of automatically have the guilty thing which they probably do it's more a willingness to lean into that and to say okay this is actually gonna serve me this is gonna work for me and I I actually do wonder sometimes you know somebody who now basically has a profession of giving advice at least on the one side of what I do and so I think a lot about like who should actually take my advice because my advice is not going to lead to a carefree easy life Lisa was just saying she was laying in bed last night thinking about me and she said how the [ __ ] does he do it because there's there's just a level of things that I'm willing to take on and I don't one I'm not even sure it's healthy for me and two I'm certainly not certain that it's healthy for other people but what I do know is that I have a level of thrill and pleasurable obsession around it so for me it's fun so when I think about the the guilt or the momentary pain of [ __ ] something up and you talk about me getting better as a speaker it's like that journey is it is a very simple journey that requires you though to really accept that you're not very good at things right now and that that's fine and so a big key for me has always been to think of my life not in the Lent not the lens of a moment mm-hmm and I used to tell this to my employees all the time like stop judging yourself through the lens of a moment and start judging yourself to the lens of ten years if you think of yourself in ten year increments like you will blow your [ __ ] mind so if you're embarrassed today about where you are don't compare yourself even to yesterday which may not soothe that and encourage you to push forward think back 10 years my gut instinct is unless you've really been treading water in which case then leverage that pain to never do that again but if you think back to where you were 10 years chances are like you're gonna be blown away with how far you come and so then it's like alright then I'm just gonna focus my gaze 10 years in the future and start saying what would I have to do to be somewhere where I'd be blown away then with where I'm at now yeah but it really does require you to say okay I'm the the pride that I'm going to establish is actually around my willingness to look at the fact that I'm not good right now today yeah and that to me is is it's really simple but it is very hard to do for people that are unintentional about their emotional life so how have you learned to read your emotions to not just give in to them and to have the same kind of high degree of you know consciousness around how you shape that as well one revisiting it a lot but let's give a framework to what you're talking about and we'll drop into the emotion piece is I love that you keep saying it's simple and for some people they don't think that way so it's not simple so let's give a framework number one what we're really talking about here is contemplation really thinking through and using the power of thought of what you want what do you want to be like what are the skills you want to deliver what's the service you want to offer the world number two the consistency of action to not only create that in your own body in your own mind but create that start creating that result in the world that's really important number three is courage because it takes courage to put yourself out there and try to get a little better like it was even just laying in bed visualizing myself doing something on stage that was way outside my boundaries of like comfort like walk across the stage really fast like walk down in the audience and give high-fives and you know say something strong or you know admit something or share something vulnerable like that's courage that's scary but the other thing is I think that you and I have always had which sometimes is undervalued is we also had community we had other people or right you had Lisa you know I had Denise we had people in our industry or our peer set who we looked up to or who we can learn from or we could be like this sucks this is hard and for me coming back to your emotional element that has been everything for me community having people in my life who I can you know when I'm on the road for X amount of time or I'm dealing with a super hard client or we're rolling out a Leadership Program to a fortune 50 company or you know I'm doing my first you know major deal with Oprah Winfrey Network and I don't know what to do I am so incredibly fast of asking people to do I'm also incredibly fast in sharing how I feel about it being like ah you know I feel really awkward about this you know I'm unsure you know I may have a lot of self doubt how would you deal with it like I'm somebody who expresses his emotions all the time my frigging tagline is bring the joy like everybody knows that why because I want to make sure people know you're we're going to create this energy because emotion is not something you have it is something you generate emotion can be an impulse but feelings is our interpretations of those impulse over a period of time and I said I want to feel vibrancy joy love connection satisfaction fulfillment in my life so I'm gonna learn to generate those emotions how do you learn to generate the emotions you read psychology how do you learn to generate the emotions you try like you're just like I'm gonna go we're gonna have date night tonight I'm gonna make it a fun night I'm gonna make it a fun night I'm gonna I'm gonna do things to see can I make people laugh can I make people turn their lights on you learn to control your own emotions and or deal with them in better ways as you decide to be one more picture person let me see how many people I can turn off right now by dealing with another element of this so everything you just said is a true and be super powerful there's an there is a different reason that I say that it is simple and admittedly this is because this is the journey I had to go on but have you seen Fight Club yeah alright there's a part in Fight Club and the gift that I would like to give the world if I had which I did not but if I had sat down and set my intention for you know what do I want to convey that this is one of my like top five things that I want to get across to people if you really want to succeed yeah there's a moment in Fight Club where he puts his hand out and the guy puts a caustic solution on the back of his hand and it burns and he tells him that he has to just leave it there and he ends up holding his hand down so that he can't take it away at first cuz it hurts so badly and then finally he releases and the guy has the strength to leave his hand there and let it just burn and what I'm saying is you have a mechanism in your mind called the psychological immune system it's job is get you to pull your hand away to wash off the thing that burns and hey you're fine again yeah what I'm saying is if you want to be great the burning sensation is you having to accept that you [ __ ] something up that you're not as good as you want to be that there are people that are better than you they are not far as far along in the journey as you want to be and what you have to learn how to do if you want to be great you have to learn to let it burn and even though your impulse is gonna be to turn away from that to not look at it to soothe it by saying it's them it's their fault they [ __ ] it up I grew in the grow up in the wrong place it's fine for them they're wealthy like whatever excuse you use to try to let yourself off the hook for not being where you want to be instead of saying actually the power is the ability to let it burn and one of my employees was just asking me yesterday and he said how do you not get overwhelmed and I said you want to know the God's honest truth the second I feel that impulse Brendan I say to myself you don't get overwhelmed I'm I'm not gonna [ __ ] back down I will not break you cannot break me yeah [ __ ] that yeah get that [ __ ] out of your head right now yeah and just interrupting that thought with an aggressive impulse of like yeah I'm gonna let it burn yeah now I'm not a [ __ ] so I immediately go hey Thank You psychology for letting me know that woo there's a lot of things coming at me right yep so I'm gonna go meditate but the way that I interrupt the thought is by reminding myself not to be wheezing control right 100 percent who's in control is over OMA and control or you in control or the all these different situations making you feel something or are you allowing yourself to interpret something to make it that and so I think that's incredibly powerful I mean I think there's a yin and yang to that too I think those who learn to endure hardships struggle challenge difficulty pain grief for mobility failure regret that's one side of that coin if you learn to do that but you also don't on the other side learn to allow joy fulfillment satisfaction a sense of Naha well I'll have to stop you allow is that the word you wanted me to I'm gonna said bring I'm gonna build ok build it you have to first allow it because what most people do is if on the other side of the coin it's super etched in what happens is even when that impulse comes up - I like this oh no I'm not supposed to like it this way so you have a lot of people who are extremely talented at the top levels who they do endure the pain and they really like the pain and they will allow that all the day long they'll allow that now cuz they'll tell their brain this is what's expected but they also don't let themselves feel good when feeling good is there this is a real big problem I mean if you study like psychoses a lot of people who really struggle with addictions eating disorders are super common who even when they feel that sense of self love or self except I'm not supposed to feel that no you really there is an element to personal development or you have to allow the good feelings and not push them away because it's like well should I don't deserve to feel that because a huge part of the world is telling themselves I don't yet deserve to feel happy even though happiness comes up I shouldn't feel that yet I'm gonna keep striving it's not until I get the next two million then I'll let myself feel happy even though they had that good Monday and so you have a lot of people who are striving in difficulty who also have not taught themselves the emotional side of what is called the most important movement in the history of the world in psychology called positive psychology kicked off with Marty Seligman a good friend of mine me Haley just sent me high without that work of saying no no we also have to allow ourselves and teach ourselves to flourish feel satisfaction feel joy so I'm a hundred percent with you and I'm like the rule is that's one side of the coin and the other rule is make sure you teach yourself to generate the positive emotions because what happens is if you don't teach yourself to generate the positive emotions as well then what is happening is you burn out or you become a cliche of the person who had it all and never felt fulfilled and you know our mutual friend Tony Robbins says like that's ultimate failure to succeed succeed succeed but never feel like a success never feel like you've had it like I'm vitally aware that you know I could get on a plane and not survive I'm vitally aware that tomorrow might not be here for me I don't want to grit and hustled out and never feel the joys of life that satisfaction that pleasure of you know what gosh good for you you're trying hard Brennan today sucked you failed today Brennan but you're doing a good job kid stay in the game feel some satisfaction that you tried feel some fulfillment of that you know because what I learned from high performers this is not just Brennan's personal opinion I've done this for 16 years at the highest levels and I see it over and over it's usually when I get the call it's like well I just sold my company for you know hundreds of millions and I crap I'm miserable and I ask when someone says I can't figure out Brenda you know everyone says I should be happy I'm not I don't know what's going on and they're edgy as hell about like geez look at the house look at the girl look at the cars look at the thing I got it all I'm freaking out man I don't know why I did it all and I said well did you ever teach yourself to be happy along the way and they never did that work cuz doing that work is what makes life worthwhile - why are you so good at relationships like what are a few of the things that make you bond with people as quickly as you do who I was convicted on there must be an intention there so the intention where the intention covers the attention for me came from you know when I was on my deathbed and in you know two times in my life I thought I was gonna die and the one that gave me the greatest gift was that did I love part of did I lived I loved I matter I saw scenes of my life when I thought I was gonna die I saw scenes of my life when I was surrounded by the people that I loved and my instant feeling was I'm gonna miss them and they're gonna miss me and I'm dying and that's so sad and that was as important as did I live my life or did I make a difference it was like I'm so sad and I got that as a 19 year old kid like a breakup of a relationship sent me into suicide that realization was like oh my god at the end all you're gonna wonder is about your family and your friends and people you loved and all they're they're gonna miss you so I got early that that one of the objectives of this game has to be deep relationships because you're gonna see scenes of your life surrounded people you love at the very end and I'm like so live your life so it's this epic beautiful movie and so I think that was where the intention came from was I just wanted to have great relationships the second is I'm so good at recognizing how awesome people are you know I just I have a talent fine capability of just goodness like I you know it you've been in my world I don't attract hassles like there nowhere that I'm too annoying I'm too happy for them there's too much positive psychology happening so the [ __ ] like I don't like that guy they don't come to my seminars they don't buy my stuff i repel all the jerks and i'm super lucky by that i don't know it's the way I look or the way that I talk I think the other aspect is all I want to do and what I realize early on from reading personal down books is your life creates a ripple and so I'm always trying to realize that maybe I can make somebody smile today and now when they go home they're nice to the kid that's a real thing and so I treat people with that recognition because I don't fear sometimes when someone treats you bad it really does mess up the rest of your day and I had people beat me when I was a kid I got in fights when I was a kid I was in martial arts most of my life so I I've just had like super violent things happen in my life I've had a lot of drama with relationships early in my life and I'm talking like pre 20s and I just wanted to be the positive ripple I love that dude where can people find out more about you listen to the Brendan show in my podcasts the Brendan show because I'm really excited because we we've basically taken some of the best I have on all my online course I got 28 online personal development and professional development courses we take little clips of those best courses we take clips of my live cast that people pay for that they don't get to see we put that on the Brendan show I'm really proud of that podcast right now because just the best of stuff is in there and then just on Instagram on the ground man just sharing my things but my favorite place for people to meet me is in your local bookstore go look for the bees last name is Bechard find those six books pick up one and if you don't like it use it as a doorstop or like a you know table leveler but my first and greatest passion is that people who I might I'm at a party in pure like introduced like if or somewhere how do I introduce you bring Sam a writer I love writing books Wow books saved my life I hear that for sure alright I've already asked you what the impact you want to have on the world is and the first time that we sat down together so I'm gonna ask you a slight variation what is the one change people could make in their lives that would help them have the biggest impact the one change yeah what could they do or stop doing that would allow them to have so many people that watch this show if you ask them what they want to do with their lives they're gonna say I want to help people or I want to have impact yeah but many of them oh ok Hale to have the impact they want to have because they aren't doing X Y Z or they should start doing X Y Z I have two answers but you're gonna like it all they're totally in line and this is one reason it works first one it has to be a mindset shift specific one a very specific one that's everyone's struggling with right now which is really giving yourself permission to have the ambitions you have most people are half hearted half interested half engaged in their actual dream and actual ambition because they either fear it or they feel insecure and capable and teaching people I literally just had this conversation with my most successful people in literally the like the world and in the top point 0:01 percent category of revenue is has not fully expressed and owned their ambition instead people apologize for their ambition hide their ambition you have to learn to own your ambition speak of the ambition chase the ambition Drive the ambition and lead the ambition it is a full both allowance back to the words allowance of the ambition and an active generation of that ambition the further you are from your ambitions the more miserable you are and most people don't look at their goals every day so no wonder we have a world that says I'm disconnected it's like no wake up I ask people jump did you look at your goals today that's it simply that's literally personal about 101 is have goals look at them most people do not do that I want you to not just not gold I want you to deeply visualize feel sense and talk about your ambitions way more like way more like I love that about you you're like I'm gonna build a frigging Disney that's it and everybody around you knows it you know how rare that is it's one reason I love you I people who were scared to communicate about their ambitions are cheating themselves in the world from supporting them I coached an Olympian I love this it's in high forms habit I wrote really briefly about it but she had won several World Records and World Championships but never a medal and this was a big goal for her and then she did and I was working with her and then afterwards we had this conversation I said we what made the difference she says you know what one day it wasn't training it wasn't nutrition it wasn't diet wasn't everything we talked about she was one day I just I just started shouting from the rooftops that I wanted to win a gold medal I started telling everybody around me and she had this great say she's when you shout from the rooftops what you wants two things happen one the village idiots come out and judge you all the village idiots she says but also the village leaders come out go see this let's let's set this person up buzzer she said all of a sudden the right coaches the right dieticians the right former gold medalists the right teammates started came out and all of a sudden she had a community who were galvanizing behind this vision and a mission she had that she never achieved even though nothing changed in her physical body it was like she communicated the ambition the tribe arrived the goal was achieved a complete game changer so allowing the ambition shouting from rooftop that's the mindset that is a behavior change that takes real personal power real courage real vulnerability whatever you want to call it but most people don't do it that's number one number two you have to have daily intention and habit tracking you you you can't leave your personal development to randomness and what most people do they leave their personal growth to randomness and so they're always in a land of mediocrity you have to have that morning routine and that evening routine of evaluating where you are and where you want to go and asking the hard questions of what is it about me that's not moving forward what is it about me that I need to accept love care for take care of do a better job with how do I treat other people so I can get ahead faster what do I need to focus on if you don't do that on a daily basis you're going through the motions and even if you're successful imagine how much more successful you would be if you were way more intentional and you actually tracked your habits there's why we developed a high performance planner because I wanted it I was like I know how easy it is to go through a day you hustle all day and you crash at the end of the day I know the hundred hour work weeks I know how that feels I know what that's about but if you're doing all that and you're not aware that leads to a nightmare that leads to you take the wrong path and you're hustling down the wrong path you leave the ladder against the wrong building you do the wrong thing the wareness on the daily is something people need to build into a routine and physicalize like right not a note on your phone journal work book planner something that you actually connect pen to paper you think through and if we can get you ambition clarified ambition speak the ambition own the ambition and you're actually intentional in tracking each day you win this game very well said yeah guys he says a lot of things very well I highly encourage you to go to the B section in the bookstore and pick up all six of the books they really are extraordinary the deeper you dive into his world the more you're gonna get out of it he is one of the rare people that the more I get to know him the more I like him the more I'm affected by him so I hope that you will avail yourself of all the amazing stuff that he makes available all right if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care Brandon my [ __ ] thank you dude it's good I was amazing all right there's always another loose there's always another game system take your game and Ratchet it down just a drop and you're going to have another game and he was right I didn't listen to that to me winning is everything

Channel: undefined

Views: 401,854

Rating: 4.8906741 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, Brendon Burchard, IT, High Performance Habits, habits, Live, Love, Matter, HPX, Life Coach, influencer, Oprah, next level, self-evaluation, meditation, life planning, visualization, ambition, emotion, relationships

Id: YRWHMuRJ3cw

Length: 49min 50sec (2990 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 21 2020