Why Growing Stardew's Easiest Crop Is Its Hardest Speedrun

if you don't know and i'm sure you do the stardew valley category extensions are live they're bland new speed runs out including a particularly interesting tab the meme tab now this is where the real runs are made inside the meme tab unfortunately i have lost my speedrun world record of the hat mouse i currently sent fourth to a very good friend of mine my editor and one of my closest friends all of which people who only attempted this to hurt me so thank you guys thanks for that guys really appreciate that one i was in third place on my birthday so thanks for that one guys that was that was funny that was very funny it's always the ones closest to you they say i lost my first record so naturally [Music] now that was cool wasn't it shush okay very cool this is the next one i must attempt now this is not the same way you might think growing a parsnip it seems rather easy but you know it's actually quite difficult anymore and we're going to see exactly why today i'm going to take you through the beauty that is the parsnip percent and perhaps get on here myself probably not first place i'm going to be honest because cebu had a really good run and i watched it already okay this is over this is over lost bob the people closest to me literally the only people in front of me are the people who i am friends with or work for me this at least i can be caught in the clutter of a bunch of random people i don't know who guacamole 54 is i won't feel bad if i take his record now if you are fool you might think that the easiest way to do this run is to take the parsnips from the boxes and before we do anything else i'm going to show you how long a run of that caliber would take okay just so we have a point of reference because that seems like the easiest way you have parsnips right there you run out bang ba-boom bang bang you know easy all we have to do in this run literally the only thing we have to do is grow a parsnip and pick it up i do not know why they added this is a category i cannot tell you all right we ready for this first run this is our initial attempt all right first off let's grow this parsnip three two one ready and go okay we've started the run now here we go i forgot to move the bed i forgot to move the bed i absolutely forgot to move the bed all right we got to get out our hoe i forgot where the hoe was gotta get the watering can forgot where the watering can was gotta plant the parsnip okay that was absolutely atrocious and i forgot to place the bed all right terrible timing the world record time might i add is 45 seconds so we are already at 27. oh my god that was just god awful oh my god then i know it always sleeps on the third so we need not do that day and then on the fourth we must go out and go out water it and then this should be our last day where we harvest so i'm gonna get out my scythe preemptively everything's ready on the fifth okay 58 seconds flat which is kind of crazy that i got 58 seconds just flat that's kind of crazy actually but that's not the point the point is this method well it seems quick it just it just takes too long and let me explain to you why let me explain to you why exactly this method takes too long no need to tell you let me show you okay oh four seconds four whole seconds that is a lot of time lost okay boys lots and lots of time lost anyway the point of what i'm saying is that four and a half seconds far too long far too long so apparently runners have found out that the actually quickest method is to play on the beach farm let me show you why exactly that is it is because if you don't know while it may seem random all of these spawns on the different farms are completely set in stone so whenever you load into a farm all your fiber your twigs your rocks those are all always spawned in the same exact place the reason i bring any of this up is because of these two pieces of fiber right here zoom in real close boom boom boom insanely close to the spawn and now if you don't know by cutting down fiber you can get mixed seeds which i'm sure most people know and mixed seeds have a one in three chance to be parsnips they can your parsnips potatoes and cauliflowers by loading it on the beach farm you actually can far more quickly get them exceed not by doing that but by just walking out and boom that was insane timing but you understand what i mean now you might say that four and a half seconds is that as long as time is this no let me show you how long this takes okay that was like one and a half seconds so statistically shaving off two seconds or so also you won't have to go up here you can just go straight on out there boom bang shaboom now why was all this optimization put into a run about growing a single parsnip that i cannot answer chad that i cannot answer but i am here to throw my hat into the ring or i have lost one record so i must claim another and even if not i got to get it close at least i just want to be up there i just want to be on there okay now the unfortunate part about this run is that it is very technically precise because if you get good at it you can hoe and water while you're walking if you know anything about me i am not very technically precise so this is going to be a very big struggle but you know what we'll see we'll see we'll see we'll see what happens ready to go guys three two one begin getting into it getting into it gotta place the bed should have poop incredible timing oh my god that was so scuffed okay there was no mixed seeds anyway we're getting the hang of it now i think for the first time in my life i will not be playing a sailor shaunie because this run requires too many resets uh to make taylor shot every single time three two one oh okay nope never mind okay i missed it there and then i saved that i didn't get anything you know maybe this runs a little harder than i thought dang it oh my god that was incredibly bad going in for round i don't know what attempt this is like six or something oop and i picked up my bed and i didn't know how to get to my site and i got them exceed so that was literally the run and i threw it and then i exited the desktop instead of exiting the title so you know a lot of things went wrong there a lot of things went wrong i'm not gonna lie to you chat a lot of things went wrong there no mcseeds okay so keep in mind after all this work that i'm doing to get the technically perfect run there's no guarantee that even the mixed seed will be a parsnip so after all this prep it's very likely that i get a potato or a cauliflower but i'm not sure what mixie chances are i don't actually think it's one in three but we'll see i guess then oh my god ah this is so hard and i keep exiting today's stuff oh my god this is so painful this is the worst speed run to ever exist and i hate it and i thought this would be easy because i was tired of losing my records and now i'm sitting here getting mad about a mixed seed and then i use my axe nope okay stupid frog that's not a mixed seed deep breath dude you take some deep breaths don't tell what to do okay nope you know i'm having fun really for me this is sort of part of the fun you know like the resets the give the take relationship you know that's all part of what makes being a speedrunner fun okay click that i got clay i mean that's something that's something at least guys i am not actually tilted i hope you guys are intelligent enough to realize this nope okay and i'm playing on the forest farm i'm literally an idiot really makes no sense okay it's it's a run it's a run anyway it's a run anyway uh no it's not it's cauliflower to be the best you gotta reset the most that's what they always say no seeds i got a seed for every frick i give and that'd be zero oh oh my god that was perfect execution terrible luck but perfect execution sexy execution five oh my god my execution is getting flawless pop off king my gosh after all this work the chance of us getting the parsnip on the mixed seeds is low all right okay we have a seed boys and it's a cauliflower all right why not forest farm i believe it is because the least amount of other debris spawns on this farm it has the most straight shot which makes this pathing the easiest is i believe the reason but don't quote me on that nope okay firstness in real life tastes good i kind of want a parsnip well maybe i'll have one sooner than i think am i working on a secret video involving parsnips that would be literally insane that would be crazy okay no mix seeds i'm slowly losing my mind over here i remember when i used to know happiness and that was before i started the parsnip percent run years before and now i forget what it even was like if i'm being quite honest with you i know it tastes kind of like an ice cream sundae family hasn't seen me in years because i need to grow a parsnip from mixed seeds under 10 seconds and then i forgot to place the bed car snip on snip guy snip guy snip guy that was perfect execution not so great luck but the execution was really good and i'm very proud of us you know i should probably start practicing my watering technique right should probably start practicing clicking on the right farm and starting the timer [Music] all right this has not been going well this has not been going well chad i'm just gonna be honest with you i was expecting to have gotten one by now but i'm honestly kind of surprised we haven't oh that was not so perfect execution i'm just going to be honest with myself there dang it i really thought that was the one that was semi-perfect animation cancelling okay okay it's another cauliflower god dang wait is that a cauliflower that is a cauliflower right yeah that's a cauliflower i think i thought that was parsnip for a second but now i'm remembering what parsnip seeds look like what do parsnip seeds look like you know the cauliflower percent and i forgot a chance of farm are you ever going to try and get a better hat mouse percent are you ever going to feel the love of another human i made a wrong farm type the freaking potato not like that was good movement either way but it's a freaking potato did not do that right either dad why is it so hard i was expecting this run to be like a gimme chat did i watch a booze person percent i think i did this is the strategy that i was told has worked why is there something that he does better oh he does the hoeing on the way back oh okay let me try that let me try that chat aren't you not working your favor i will tend to agree with that i realized that was a little harsh to what i said to that one person but i don't feel that bad okay [Music] cauliflowers dang cauliflowers all right here we go how many attempts has it even been well enough for me to not set the counter right this time i guess we can count through at the end let's see how many attempts are at right now [Music] wow i have done this 75 times and i haven't even smelt the parsnip seed i haven't even gotten in one good run that's kind of astonishing oh did that wrong please don't have a mixie don't feel bad okay what are seeds if not vegetable ore what what does that even mean wait no the comparison literally makes no sense uh because ore doesn't grow into more ore snip equals bad that's what it seems like all the photos i've seen from parsnips they look pretty bad they do not look good i'm gonna be honest with you chat that's how i feel right now i wonder why concern dave chose parsnips above all else and also i wonder why there's no carrots in the game you guys ever wonder that why does this game have no carrots that feels like such a gimme plant cave carrots someone can't i mean like real traditional carrots oh cave carrots oh okay dude you must you must be a real blast at parties man cave carrots that's clearly not the same thing not even clothes oh cave carrots i like how radishes taste like eating electricity i have never had a radish and now i never plan to have one after i've heard that what do you mean it tastes like eating electricity i should taste like what batteries smell like bro what is going on with this plant what are you and what are you guys talking about how can that even be close to true that is a potato bro how have we gotten so every single time i play a play through every time you get parsnips when you want the potatoes the cauliflowers this time i can't even get one mamma mia oh no the best phineas and ferb song still probably busted right and when you do you're gonna be busting i don't wanna put the hurt on you but you better believe me when i tell you that i finally got rude on you you're busted i'll never want to see a lie this is how it's gonna be when i find out that that was always wrong okay all right why is it on this busted run why is it on the busted run man this is gonna be so embarrassing and this isn't on youtube now god damn it i hate this so much why on the boy gotta be on the bus to run man come on come on okay well let's go let's go let's go 47.50 47.50 that would put me at five place that's pretty that's pretty good i'm happy with fourth place cool easy easy easy and did i mention easy as yo busted ferb that led us to victory man we need the bronze well i need to go so that took me way too long already fourth place is not bad and i'll probably get retimed to like even lower fourth place is not bad at all you

Channel: Seanie Dew

Views: 153,644

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Id: TM0aEJjUEIM

Length: 13min 53sec (833 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 11 2022