Why do Narcissists Always Come Back After They've Dumped You (They Know They Can!)

if you've just been discarded by a narcissist this video is for you um narcissists always come back after they have dumped someone and in this video I'm going to give you the top three reasons why that is the case I'm going to explain those three reasons why narcissists always come back after they've dumped you and as always I'm going to give you a strategy to help you start healing today and the strategy is going to be different than my previous strategy you know that I typically give out on this channel usually my strategies are very tangible but this one is less tangible but still very effective so stick around [Music] foreign [Music] if we are meeting my name is Tamara and I'm your courtroom companion and here at courtroom companions we come alongside you virtually to support you through your narcissistic Journey you know healing from narcissism or family court or custody or all three that's why this channel was created and it's my passion to help people build their life back better and better so this channel is dedicated to helping people in those three areas and if you're not yet a member of my community here on YouTube hit that join button and you can learn all about it it's where I release exclusive content to just my members so definitely want to check out that community so why do narcissists come back after they've dumped you well first narcissists inherently need adoration attention they need to be you know the person that you're constantly adoring and so the first reason why narcissists always come back after they've dumped you is because they inherently need lots of attention and adoration and validation from whomever will give it to him and because you have demonstrated in the past that you will be that person for them you're a sure thing they know that they will be able to get that adoration attention and validation from you because you've always given it to them but a bonus in this kind of situation where the narcissist has left they've discarded you and when they come back there's a bonus in it for them in that you're going to beg them to come back that's what they believe and so when they're not just coming back you know after a fight they're coming back after discarding you possibly leaving for a month or two but when they come back they're thinking you're going to beg them to stick around and so it's kind of like a bonus feeling for them you know more than their typical um adoration that they get from you the second reason that narcissists always come back is because they never really intended to be gone for that long they believe that if they make you believe that they have one foot out the door that you will always be on guard and not upset them too much and that you'll behave in the way they want you to behave if they know that you think they've got one put out the door so they when they leave they don't always intend to stay for very long it's more like teaching you a lesson so that's another reason why they come back you sort of love feeling that control that they have when they think that you you want this relationship more than they do it's a sense of power and control which is a part of you know any abusive cycle and the third reason why they always come back is because they actually need the chaos and confusion that they had with you you know chaos and confusion is what narcissists need to actually get along every day they need to know that they have everybody wrapped up in drama because they actually don't feel those feelings so they like to instigate it with others so they can actually watch others feel it and so they need you more than you need them but they don't know that they think that if they come back that somehow you should be grateful that they're back but in actuality they need that chaos that they used to have with you and so it's kind of like the knowledge is power right so if you kind of know that they need you more than you need them it kind of turns to tables but they don't know that at the time and as they say old habits die hard they're convinced that no matter what they do to you you will always take them back and so when they come back they believe that that you will play along with that same drama that you've always played along with with them so I'm going to give you a strategy now that's that I'm hoping is going to help you and it's again not my typical strategy that I normally kind of share here normally I give you very tangible things to do but in this case the strategy is going to be more me talking more directly to you in hopes that it will kind of take you out of autopilot that you might be on with this cycle with the narcissist and please know that this strategy is coming from a very healthy place of love and wanting to help you with what you're struggling with and feeling like the narcissist did it again they discarded you again and you're really tired of the cycle so there's one thing that you can do to kind of stop that emotionally abusive cycle and that is to believe that you are actually in control of the outcome so narcissists get their victims to believe that they are the one that has all the power that has all the control that makes you believe that you can't live without them but the truth is you are in charge of the outcome so if you choose to let the narcissist back own that choice if you decide to once and for all stop the abusive cycle and you know really not let the narcissist back into your life for good like basically going out of contact then own that choice as well both choices are yours to make you control the outcome and so I want you to start realizing that you may be on autopilot and just going along for the ride because you've been doing it for so long with the narcissist and you're just kind of in this hamster wheel that you can't get off but I want you to stop pause for a moment and realize that you select the outcome for your life if you can hear anything in that is knowing that even if you let the narcissist back it's a choice you're choosing to let them back own it you might not be ready to let them leave you might not be ready to stop the abusive cycle that's an okay place to be you're not along in your healing Journey enough to let them go no judgment but just own the choice that you're taking them back it is a choice if you choose that this is the end of this cycle for you and you're done own that choice as well both are okay but you own the choice you are not a victim in these circumstances you are a I want to say willing participant and again I'm saying that from love I'm saying that from understanding everybody's at a different point in their Journey but you're not a victim you do have choices here and from my perspective when you're ready to make the choice to not let the narcissist back in that was the perfect time for you you know what you know and when you get to that point you will know but I want you to start breathing in the fact that if you let them back in you are making a conscious choice to let them back into your life and when you get to the point of not allowing it that's when you get there again no judgment this is all from a place of love and understanding that we're all in a different point and we all go through different circumstances and when we're ready to do it we're ready and not a minute sooner so I hope this video was helpful to you again as some a more of an intangible strategy that I offered today but it's still an effective one I believe just helping you get out of autopilot I think is the a really good first step so as always I'll see you next time and oh by the way I do offer one-on-one coaching and I offer a free 15-minute Discovery call if you are needing more support in this area to let go of the narcissist for good that's one of the Specialties I have in my coaching practice and you know just go ahead and hit that Discovery call link below and we can chat for a few minutes and we can talk about your situation and then if you decide that coaching is right for you we can set up a more frequent basis or a new free frequent timeline to talk and I'll see you next time bye-bye [Music]

Channel: Naked Narcissism

Views: 9,059

Keywords: Narcissists Always Come with Naked Narcissism, They Know They Can!, They've Dumped You with Naked Narcissism, Naked Narcissism, they've dumped you with naked narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, Always Come Back with Naked Narcissism, always come back with naked narcissism, Narcissists, narcissism, mental health, anxiety, social anxiety, anxiety disorder, narcissists always come with naked narcissism, abuse, emotional abuse, child abuse, sexual abuse, child sexual abuse, Naked

Id: 8uOpCTafa9M

Length: 9min 2sec (542 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 31 2022