Why Clifford The Big Red Dog Is Fundamentally Impossible

hi everybody I'm here at the vet and guess who drank bleach and ate all of our silverware it was me the ever iconic bubble the baboon is getting a checkup because I'm concerned about his violent outbreaks when there's sudden loud noises around him because maintaining a living creature that isn't a fellow goon like me involves making sure they get everything they need want and a third thing so as I wait for like two more hours for anyone to come and check on us let's talk about the funny large maroon canine Clifford the Big Red Dog is a dog that's red and big he lives on Birdwell Island located in Massachusetts with the Howard family and their kid Emily Elizabeth who embarrassingly has two first names I like Clifford and concept like a giant dog you can ride everywhere and tear apart your enemies if necessary but when being realistic I don't think he's such a good idea a big part of the Clifford plot is that Emily Elizabeth's love for Clifford is what made him so big but that's nonsense he's got to have some weird genetics or something like he's red specifically a hex color of ee332e like I love Bobo and he's perfectly average in size but in though it would explain why so many short people are mean to me a ton of pet owners love their pets and most of them are pretty normal size so either we don't love our pets or Emily Elizabeth is full of lies I mean look at those eyeballs do you think those soulless hockey pucks are full of love absolutely not those CD raisins look lifeless cold Barren and like they're about to sell out faster than you can say industrialism speaking of which this video is sponsored by rage Shadow Legends I'm sure you've heard about this funky little turn-based RPG before but have you played it despite being on mobile devices this game runs looks and even sounds great I liked a lot of the champion designs and there's over 650 of them to start off you get to pick between four starting Champions those being Gaelic and orc with cool fire attacks Ethel 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kanaru I think that's how you pronounce the name along with some other useful stuff all you got to do to get these rewards are click the link in the description or this QR code or that QR code or even that one but not that one that's just a trapezoid and thanks again to raid Shadow Legends for sponsoring my rambling so getting back on track I think it's important to calculate how much dog food is required for Clifford on a daily to yearly basis for this portion I ended up rounding a lot of the exact numbers but it does provide a decent idea of what to expect Clifford differs in dog breed based on the continuity but from what I estimate I assume that Clifford is a giant Vizsla though he could be a lab because that's what breed he is in the not good live adaptation movie the average weight of this dog is between 45 to 65 pounds but I'll go ahead and say 50 pounds based on Clifford's adult height being 25 feet I guess how much he weighs and I came up with a range from 10 tons which is almost the same way as two African elephants 287 tons which is close to an adult fin whale and is definitely alive for a dog by dividing we can assume that Clifford weighs around 400 times to 3480 times the weight of a regular giant of Islam there's a law by the name of Cleaver's law which states that most animals metabolic rate scales to three-fourths of a power of the animal's mass by adding this power to the two previous numbers they become 90 and 453 then we multiply these numbers by 1500 to get the daily caloric intake of 135 000 to 679 500 calories a day and why not I'm just gonna round this number to 680 000. for this I'm going to assume the Howard family buys 20 dog food bags each with 80 cups of food of them and each Cup being 500 calories meaning a 20 bag equals forty thousand calories I'm gonna ignore potential exporting fees for living on an island along with the sales tax of Massachusetts because ignoring taxes builds character so with these numbers we can conclude that Clifford's daily dog food costs are between 67.50 to 340 and on a yearly basis that range goes up to twenty four thousand six hundred thirty seven dollars and fifty cents to one hundred twenty four thousand one hundred dollars I have no idea how they managed to afford that since Miss Howard works at the seashell a small shop on the island and Mr Howard probably does a business something I don't I don't know to give an idea the average dog costs like 500 to 2 000 a year not to mention there's also the cost of drinkable water medical stuff and that big old dog house which has to be at least a few thousand dollars geez Louise that is not good I'm sure at least some of the math was maybe wrong and I can already hear you goofballs scrambling to say I fibbed up my math but guess what I don't care Bobo can you say that one word that's kind of mean no the other one that starts with a z yeah but besides Financial stuff I think there's more crazy Antics regarding the funny dog that needs to be considered I fully believe Clifford would be taken away and tested on as unfortunate as that sounds because as surprising as it is Clifford is also extremely intelligent and he's been confirmed to have this High Intelligence in the show Clifford's Puppy Days a spin-off PBS show which is also about Clifford I don't know if it's Canon I'm not looking into the Clifford timeline a majority of the animals in the series fully understand humans and can all talk talk to each other a key example of this is the 2004 film Clifford's real big movie where Clifford realizes how much he costs for his family so Clifford and his goons go ahead and join a carnival competition thing where one of the prizes is a lifetime supply of dog food which as we've established is a good thing to get for free in the process of doing this we learned that Clifford is easily able to swim to the mainland which is terrifying to think about and also the outside world doesn't even know about Clifford which is insane to think about and then the rest of the movie happens and then they win the competition and then the temporary owner of Clifford and his friends Larry Gable gobble accidentally signs a contract the rich host of the competition thing get custody of Clifford and then he escapes and Emily Elizabeth travels to the other side of the country in six hours just to say that they pay for Clifford out of love and that's the movie and again I'm sure they love him because I mean he's that big but again I don't know how much love Emily Elizabeth is capable of and imagine if Clifford wasn't as smart as he is it's entirely possible he would destroy homes and eat people in fact in the awful 2021 movie made by the Beloved K entertainment and E1 Clifford lives in New York which by all means Clifford absolutely cannot operate in regardless the movie sucks either way none of the classic characters are here besides Emily Elizabeth and her mom whose name was changed from Carolyn Howard to Maggie Howard Mr Howard is probably dead and even worse Miss Howard has a British accent Clifford looks kind of icky in the entire movie he saves a guy from falling to death and this movie is basically a worse Smurf which is basically a worse Stuart Little and it's a solid 3 out of 10. anyway it's probably better to read the Clifford the movie The Graphic novel based off of the book Source material but in the movie Clifford is a completely different breed he's some sort of lab only a puppy that grows overnight which is way different from the actual adaptations where Clifford grows over months and there's also a magic man named Mr Bridwell not to be mistaken with Birdwell Island and the late creator of the Clifford character Norman Bridwell they are all different people early in the movie Emily Elizabeth and her uncle stumble into birdwell's weird animal tent where they find tons of exotic animals including a giraffe hyena anyway throughout the movie it's semi implied that he's partially responsible for making Clifford Big among other stuff like how a tracking ship got injected into Clifford that claimed he was property of the bad guy's company and how it magically changes to Emily Elizabeth's name when he does magic Shenanigans and from this really existing kids movie that sure does exist we can consider that Clifford not only possesses mutated genetics not only grows from the power of love but could also be a victim of a strange old man's magical curses like did you really have to make the small red dog into a big red dog and not just a kind of Big Red Dog unrelated I'm sure you're all thinking chupo has Clifford taken a life before well I'm glad you asked he's tried to I couldn't get access to all the books but I found this Reddit post from eight years ago that covers all of the things Clifford has been responsible for thank you to the user by the name of I told my parents I would stop saying that word on the internet for the post and images in the book Clifford has been responsible for car accidents prolonging a fire disrupting sewer work halting Transit operation damaging random buildings causing children to fall into frozen over water and tearing the Howard house out of its foundation now I'm sure none of this matters in cartoon land but in reality we can assume that the Howard family takes financial and even legal responsibility for their dog Clifford the adjective adjective noun is I'm sure a great companion but I think after a while they gotta get rid of him you know give him a bunch of chocolate or Sail Out to the middle of the ocean and hope he doesn't come back wow wow that got dark but there is one thing one crucial thing that I have been neglecting throughout this entire discussion arguably the most important and not really considered aspect of Clifford as a concept in my eyes this one question was responsible for me to jump into this Rabbit Hole of a fictional cartoon dog it's because of this that I fully think that Clifford by all means needs to remain an idea and not a reality and I could spend way too much time talking about this if I'm being honest so I'm going to ask everyone to keep this discussion to a minimum because the more I think about it the worse this problem becomes I'm going to flash an image that includes text for one full second and once it leaves the screen I ask that we all move on so on the count of three I'm going to show the image here we go one two three and that's it that's all we're not going to talk about it anymore it's been acknowledged and we're moving on while buckaroos I think that's probably enough of that I think we can all agree that Clifford the Big Red Dog isn't a bad animal necessarily he's smart and at least tries to help those around him and he's a very selfless animal and though I will say that this bone-shaped island seems kind of nice to live on with Clifford I'm sure even after a while that would be a bad time plus Clifford size is too much of a Financial social and potentially physical cost that is not at all worth it the more you think about it like imagine if this jar was your bones and the gravity was Clifford I'm sorry [Music]

Channel: choopo

Views: 122,087

Keywords: Bobo, Bobo the baboon, Choopo, Clifford emily elizabeth, Clifford the big red dog, Emily elizabeth, Fundementally impossible, Mr bridwell, Ms paint, Ms paint animations, Why Clifford The Big Red Dog is, Why are you looking at the tags, animation, clifford, clifford film, clifford funny, clifford movie, clifford scene, clifford the big red dog, microsoft paint, microsoft paint animation, microsoft paint art, ms paint, ms paint animation, norman bridwell, paint

Id: 3C_MORcXlCc

Length: 11min 7sec (667 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 25 2023