Who I Want to Be | Sadie Robertson Huff, Ben Higgins & Jessica Clarke

[Music] all right welcome to the podcast i guess ben you've been on before but jess this is your first time so so excited to have both of you here um y'all are in a crazy exciting season right oh yeah it's definitely crazy but it's been really exciting and fun too it's awesome so engage you just moved to colorado all the transition happening so i know i've seen you post on instagram about dress shopping but have you found the dress i found the dress that's awesome i'm like not showing anyone so ben's mom and my mom are the only ones that have seen it which makes it really fun too i love that that's awesome see i wish i would have done that i could not help myself i was like showing the girl lululemon who was like helping me out i was like do you want to see like terrible like the only person who hadn't seen it was like christian um i love that that's awesome what was your experience like like picking up the dress did you know whenever you got it or were you like in between a few honestly i like i mean i don't know about you but i had an image in my brain of what i wanted and i put it on and i hated it yep so then i was like well i guess i'll just try on everything so i tried literally every style dress and then the one i put on i was like oh no this is it and then we made a couple changes to it but i don't even have photos of it on my phone because i know i'd be that same way and show it to every single person it's too hard you can't have the picture that's that's so funny that's how my sister is she just got engaged she like had the dress that she knew she wanted and she tried it on and she was like i don't like this at all like the one that she said she would never wear like the type that she would never wear is the one she got it's so funny yeah yeah so that's awesome i think wedding dress shopping is like i feel like sometimes it's similar to your personality too which is always really funny to see um ben are you excited for jess to finally be in colorado oh my gosh it's been awesome yeah we did long distance for two and a half years dang so and like long distance long distance like we would go weeks without seeing each other okay yeah i remember that so yeah it was tough so having her in colorado now is really great for every reason like we're able to actually like spend time together or do nothing together or go off and do our own things when we're in the same city like it's been it's awesome just a really positive thing oh i love that that's so great christian and i were the same way we did long distance our whole dating life and engaged i guess so we didn't actually live in the same place till we got married and it was so fun though like once we were together we were like this is the greatest thing ever so i'm so excited for y'all to step into that um well we'll get to the question of the podcast which is what is the best piece of advice you've ever been given and ben i know you've kind of already told us at one point one of your good pieces of advice but if you have another one please share it with us and i'd love to hear from both of y'all yeah well should we do it so like when i look at advice i think of like is should it be love themed wedding themed relationship themed or like life themed dang you're stacked most people are like let me think you're like well i have like six um okay let's go love theme for the sake of the season y'all are in if you have one if you have one ready for that yeah so like i it's weird i don't remember a lot in life uh in fact i forget most of the stuff that happens however like i can like compartmentalize these little pockets in my life and so when it comes to advice or words of encouragement then what like i have different the different sectors stick with me and when it comes to love um i i think the best advice which is so unromantic but it's uh love is a commitment um that's good it's one that you choose to do every morning you choose to do every night you choose to do it every second at with every breath is that you choose to love which is interesting because it helps my relationship with jessica because like um you know when i'm not feeling great about myself when i'm frustrated or anxious uh i can still love her because i can choose to love her even if i'm like angry at the world or angry at myself but then also when it comes to outside like people friendships i can choose to love uh and i know that it just maybe doesn't always come naturally but i can always say i'm going to choose to love today i'm going to choose to love this person so that's the best advice so good that's great advice and i think that's the advice that is the key to actually sticking with a relationship is that commitment and not just basing it off of how you feel or what if everything's going right but if it's that you committed and so that's huge i love that jess what about you i actually talked to my dad about this because he i feel like this is kind of backwards but my dad like kind of guided my dating life for a long time um because as soon as i turned 16 he was like i want you to go on as many dates as possible and that's always been his advice to single people is like not necessarily getting as many relationships but like talk to as many people as you can and like open yourself up to like all different types of people that's so good and honest it's really great advice for single people because then like i never had a really really serious relationship but when i met ben i just knew because i'd known all of these others yeah that's so cool so good and then for like a committed relationship my dad's advice was always put the other person first yeah so even if it's something that you don't want to do or even if it's like you're not like what bin said if you're not feeling great that day always remember that that person should be put before yourself and not like help create a healthy relationship that's so good i love that we actually had my great-grandma on the podcast uh i guess a few weeks ago and she was so awesome she's a legend she's almost 90 and she was talking about her relationship her husband died years ago but they were married for 57 years and she said that her best piece of advice for relationships was to get excited about what the other person loves and it was like putting putting what their excitement is first so she was saying like she's like i'm not necessarily a basketball player but he loved basketball so i went to all the games and it was important that i was excited for him that he loved that and made that an enjoyable situation for both of us and i think that goes to putting somebody else first you have to put somebody else first to lay down your own like wants and stuff to say like this is so awesome that we're here right now and like making life just enjoyable for the both of you but i love the single advice because i think like i haven't heard that piece of advice but i dated a lot of different types of people too and whenever i met christian i was like oh i know you're the one but i never knew you know when people were like what is your type like i never knew what my type was but you kind of know the qualities that you're looking for and so i think it's good to date different types of people and then when you find the guy with the qualities you're like okay this is who i commit to that's so awesome i love it um then you just wrote a book and it is so good alone in plain sight which first of all just the title is so gripping i think for me especially too because i felt that way in my life a lot like you know even your subtitle that you're seen but you're not known and all these people like they say they know you but they don't know you they they see you and they have a glimpse of you but they don't know you and so i'm so thankful you wrote this book because i know so many people feel that way and it's so good it is so good so congrats on that for everybody listening it comes out february 2nd but i want to dive into some of the things that you talk about you start off the first chapter right off the bat with just like a slam dunk talking about who are you which is a question that like i think a lot of people wrestle with this who am i and i love how you talk about you say that a jock is like something that you did but it's not who you were um because i think today that might even be like a revelation for people like oh that's what i do that's not who i am and i know jess you like ran track y'all both like had significant things in your life that you were known for even the bachelor even if you go on instagram and it's your instagram or whatever it is but what was it like for you you can both speak to this or one of you whenever you went from like oh what i do is not who i am what was that freedom like in your life i mean i i can start here i think the the freedom's cr you said it best like there's what it's like is freedom um because like we always try to live up to whatever expectation the world's placed on everybody like no matter what that title is and that's the hopefully the the hope of that chapter is like to show that everybody's in this like in this place where they're labeled by something and maybe that label they have on them is a shame or a guilt or something that they've never been able to process through or it's a trauma and a pain and so the hope is that like you can release these things and re and recognize who you are as a human like what how you matter to others like what how how your love can impact those around you um but like releasing especially for me like releasing myself from expectations now i still have goals but they're a lot different than expectations release myself from those expectations free me up to start living and breathing again you know and feeling good and feeling like i matter and feeling like i have value mm-hmm yeah that's so good i love i actually underlined this to like say this but your quote when you said when dreams are eight-year-old self staked out become our identity and those dreams do not come true loser and failure become our new identity and i was like that's so true it's like and that's why i love that you like separated that expectation and like the goals because i think that's so true like whenever you go for something like that and then it doesn't me maybe what you expected it to be then all of a sudden the only thing you're left with is oh i failed or oh i lost which then creates that shame and the insecurity and that all that pain and so man you you want people straight through it and so if you're struggling with identity great first chapter i love that jess do you feel like there have been times in your life where you've wrapped your identity around maybe a certain thing that you were known for oh totally i mean i in college i like you said i ran track and so going to i went to a big sec school and that was like my thing i was like i'm the track runner like this is who i am i can't be anything else and then throughout college i admitted that i was struggling with an eating disorder and so i had to quit track wow and there was like six months there where i didn't really have a place i wasn't in a sorority and that's a big thing at scc schools and i really didn't know where to go or who i wanted to be i didn't even think i could stay at the school because i wasn't the track runner anymore so like what was i going to be known for well and that's actually when like i say i became a christian i grew up in a christian home but that was like my turning point of it becoming a decision like this is who i want to be so that that was like my journey of identity and it was really tough and so even that chapter that ben wrote when i read it i was like wow like this makes me feel less alone yeah and it's so cool because i have these conversations with ben all the time but wow that's so cool y'all i'm so excited to tell you about this product i just found out 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over 50 000 5 star reviews so you really can't go wrong if you go to functional beauty.com whoa you get 20 off and that's actually not just including the shampoo conditioner but any product they have on their store which is so legit but make sure you go to functional view.com and use the slash whoa so that you make sure that they know that you came from our show to get some great hair products i hope you love your shampoo and conditioner or whatever products you get and make it the function of you okay because this that's i didn't know that story and that's just so cool and i'm sorry that you went through that but do you feel like a hindsight 20 20 admitting that you were going through that are you even though it was so hard to admit that and you no longer did track and it was like a life change are you glad you admitted it when you did totally i'm really really thankful i'm glad it wasn't earlier and i'm glad it wasn't later because it was like exactly halfway through my college like career and so i kind of feel like i got to like see who i was and then like see who i could be in like the same amount of time and i like wouldn't change any of it like i think that the hard parts like in your life allow you to share them and hopefully relate to other people and um i wouldn't change it at all wow that's so good i love that i wanted to ask you that because i figured you would say that you're glad that you did and i feel like a lot of people you know are going through stuff that's really hard and they're so afraid to admit it because they think like oh it would ruin my life like i would lose my track or scholarship or i would lose my job or i would go through whatever it is i have to go through but every time you do like every time you admit something or you get something off your chest you confess something like it only gets you to where you're going and so it's so important to take those leaps and to take that next step and so that's so cool that you shared that with us um for y'all like y'all both obviously went through a time where you had to figure out who you were separated from like what you do are you glad that you did that before y'all met each other oh yes definitely i was a miserable person when i had my head wrapped around being the runner and it's still i mean it's still something that i have to like consciously make a decision like i'm not going to be known for this or for that and i still will like have those tendencies to want to be known for specific things but i think after like getting over it one time you kind of can do it again and i think it makes you a better partner when you're not wrapped up in your own thing yeah but i'm really thankful that i got over like that piece of it before meeting then because i don't think he would have like hey same i might tell christian because we we had this moment where we know like two years before we met we were in the airport at the same time and one of my friends met him at the airport and i did it because i went to a different gate and we're always like what if we would have met and i'm like you know thank god we did not meet because who i was at that time was not a likable person for us to work out and where he was too and so god simon is so great and i feel like when you go through those hard things and you figure out who you are and you're still going to be growing of course when you meet the person but when you know who you are in christ it makes the whole relationship so different yeah yeah very great yeah it's interesting too because i mean it's fascinating to think about how much growth there was like at leading up to jessica and then how much growth there's been since then but like for years of my life i wasn't a place of growth i felt like i was in a place of just trying to like process and figure out and i also was it wasn't until like my late mid to late 20s that i started to understand that like i one that being the victim and having everybody feel bad for you all the time wasn't a way to move through life and then two as i got through after the bachelor the the thing was like hey any amount of attention any amount of fame is not fulfilling and so like what is it that's important to you and so that question had i had to ask myself the question like before i can meet jessica the question i had to ask myself was what is this that's important to me like who is it that i want to be who am i and that was you know i want to be uh somebody that loves others i want to be somebody that connects with god i love that yeah and so that's like that's how that's where it's put me out and so yes like i had to process through all those things before i could be a good partner to jessica that's so good i love how you said in your book that no human can fix your brokenness and i think that sometimes people do wait for that in a person and it's an impossible thing to put on someone and so i know ben you talk about your faith a lot and just you do too um and what was it like for people i guess wondering like because y'all both clearly had this shift in your life where even you said you found it in christ what was that like finding your identity in christ instead of trying to wait to find it in a person you wouldn't meet uh you know i think the way how i'd explain it is it's finding your identity in truth so i was talking to my pastor the other day and i was like you know what like i can say i'm a christian because i really believe in jesus like it's a it's a real thing to me it's not an idea it's not a thought it's like a you know jesus is real and so ultimately what i'm saying is like i'm going to follow truth wherever that may be and jesus is truth he's shown up in my life i have a relationship with jesus and so like as i pursue my faith i'm also pursuing truth because i believe there's something greater than us out there and i also believe that something greater caused us to love and so that's kind of why my relationship has gotten so real because jessica and i said i don't even know if she remembers it but it was like a a year ago and i was like you know what sometimes in my life like i feel like i've thrown all my eggs in the jesus basket and i have to continue to check to make sure that that basket still i still believe in that basket and and i do uh and jesus always shows up when i cry out for it but like that's where my faith lies is like if you take jesus away from me or or if you take jesus away from my relationship like you take everything like nothing else makes sense in my life yeah oh that's so good i love that like you know i love your chapter when you talk about like belief and doubt and all that and i love that wrestle that you talk about i have to check that sometimes because i think people associate and you even talk about this like doubt with like a lack of faith but actually they go hand in hand and i love how you challenge people that like all of those thoughts all of those wrestles are okay in fact like that only has improved your faith as you wrestle and so i think that that is just so cool um one of the things i love that you talk about and this kind of goes with everything that you are saying is whenever you talk about your breakup you talk about how like you would not be where you are now without like the hard time that you went through of that breakup and obviously it's the same with just like you talked about you wouldn't be where you are if you hadn't admitted to the eating disorder and you stop doing track and there are things in our life that are really hard but it we would not be where we are without them and i love that you talk about y'all's song so please share jess you can't you can do it because girls get all giddy about this kind of stuff about your song why you chose it and like what it means to y'all um well then showed me this song he it's by cody johnson who's someone that ben actually introduced me to but it's oh i always forget the title then what's it called what led me to you yeah i know the words yeah yeah but it talks about like all of the hard things and then the chorus is like what led me to you and so it talks about like all of the hearts that are broken all of the roads you didn't take like all of those things and it's what led me to you and so that's our first dance song and it's also the song that's like in our engagement video and everything i think that ben's like ben's journey is obviously more public than mine but we wouldn't have found each other without all of those things yeah so that's so sweet i love it okay y'all don't have to share if you don't want to but i think the way y'all started dating like how y'all met or how y'all saw each other if you will is like the craziest story so will y'all share like a little bit of that story yeah of course huh do you want to share your part and and i can tie in what on my side yeah go ahead and start this it's so great okay well i'll say my part but it won't make sense till ben says his but i woke up thanksgiving 2018 and i had a direct message on my instagram from someone with a blue check mark and like a million followers and i was like what in the world like i was working a full-time sales job in nashville i didn't have like that many followers i was so confused on how someone could have found me and so i showed my family my mom was like he was the bachelor like don't you remember he was the bachelor like four years ago you have to figure out how he found you and so i was like okay and so me and my little brother sat down and like got all these responses go into bin to like try and sound smooth because i'm not smooth so so great we dm back and forth for like a day and then facetimed a couple days later and then two weeks later i flew out to denver oh my gosh and now you're there that's crazy yeah so on the back end of that i was in nashville tennessee for a fundraiser uh brandy cyrus was putting on this fundraiser i also remember in nashville's huge and um i was staying at the hilton downtown in nashville and i was checking in and there was a hockey team checking in to the front desk and i was like i wonder what hockey team that is so i went to my room and i was looking at tagged pictures from that location because i figured somebody had to have like tagged the picture or tagged location with the hockey guys and when i got on the tag location uh the pictures from bridgestone arena popped up and her picture was one of those that popped up because she was there on a date but she posted had posted a picture with her dad at the arena and i was like that girl's cute so anyways that's in february i then kind of like screenshotted it because i was like i don't know how to respond to this that might be a little creepy um and so i just saved onto well then thanksgiving happened and for whatever reason i was cleaning out my phone from old pictures and i was like you know what i'm gonna message that girl tonight i'm feeling adventurous so i did that is incredible that's where that's when then she woke up to the text message on thanksgiving and the rest is history we really never stopped talking once like she kind of responded we just like kept talking and we're going to keep talking for that's right forever i love it i think it's so great and it's so funny because chris and i story is is kind of similar and it's funny because people are like embarrassed to say that you know he dm me but i'm like that is so cool like that you saw her on a tad picture and like christian was the same way he saw me like two years before we met at a passion conference and like dm me i didn't see it until two years later the whole thing i actually saw after we met when i followed him and it was just crazy and same thing when we started talking we just never we just never stopped and so i love y'all story i think it's so sweet um so i want to talk about because you know we have a generation of people who are obsessed with the show the bachelor um and bachelor nation is obviously a huge thing and all the things and no hate on the bachelor at all you've been through other people have been through it people who have gotten married and it's been great for them and they've had kids and everything but i do think you know the way that the show is it's kind of an unrealistic expectation of what dating is like and so for you who's been through the bachelor and now you who has met jess in this very unique way very organic way you know what is it regardless a bachelor or not that truly do you think makes a dating relationship a good dating relationship that people instead of being like oh the bachelor's the way to go it's like no actually these are the things that you can look for or that you can pursue that actually make a relationship a good relationship yeah that's a good question um i mean i think my advice to that would be kind of similar what you said when it came to singleness is like first off like date like explore what it is that you're interested in like what kind of makes you tick what makes you feel healthiest what makes you act best so that's the one thing is just like dating in itself is about exploring an adventure um and figuring out now what helps make a dating relationship really healthy is i think on honest i'd sum it up to like empathy and curiosity and so like be able to look across the person at the table or whatever you're doing and like empathize with them like compromise with them want to see them flourish like have that deep desire like that a lot of like what you want to see is to see them flourish and they they know and respect the fact that you invest a lot into seeing them flourish and then the second um is curiosity like ask the right like that you ask the questions to continue to explore who they are like you ask the questions to get to know them better you ask the questions to like help like try to figure them out even though i don't know if you'll ever figure them out but i think when those two things like yeah come out of a place of love like there's a lot of healthiness and there's a lot of excitement for the years ahead because it will never get old and it'll never get boring or repetitive yes you're not flying in helicopters and yes you know you're not traveling the world but like you're adventuring together in your everyday life which is something that's like just to be so fun to do forever yeah i love that that's such good advice so so good just uh you posted on instagram the other day and i thought it was so sweet about how like you see so much boldness in ben and that's something that like you want to get better at and because you're you said you're like a nine on the enneagram and that's not necessarily the trait that you're known for it's like boldness or whatever and i feel that way with christian a lot it's like there are so many things about him that i know i am not but that doesn't intimidate me it actually helps me so much and so what are some other things in y'all's relationship that y'all are like different in but you've actually seen each other grow from um i think one of the biggest things for me is like i said like i'm very much a peacemaker which makes me very passive so my communication is not great at all and way of like asking the right questions to the point where sometimes it like frustrates me because i'm like he literally sees right through me i don't want to because it might like stir up something or it might like cause us to have a deeper conversation that i would just rather avoid right and he has made me a much better communicator and he also asks a lot of questions especially like in our faith and everything and whenever we listen to a sermon together or go to church he always asks really hard questions afterwards and i'm like i want to process and make sure i'm saying the right things but he's like no just like say the first thing that comes to your brain and lots of times it's not correct for me yeah and i'm right all the time so really like really just need to like process better and then be able to communicate better and i've i hope i've grown in it in the past two years but i know i still have a really long way to go but that's been a really big thing that's so cool i love that bim what's your innue grow four so i'm the weirdo yeah i'm the weirdo i love it no my sister's a four i think fours are incredible all numbers are awesome but i just wondered with that deeper like thinking like think a bit longer about it or or even just get it out before it's perfect because that's i'm kind of the same way i'll just talk and talk and talk and christian's much more of a processor and he'll say the right thing at the right time and i'm more like i've said a lot of things so here's everything i'm thinking oh that's so good i love it then what's something that's different about jess that you feel like you've uh learned from oh i mean i think i think her desire i mean like she sees it as a negative and oftentimes i'll see it as a positive like her desire to to say the right thing not coming from a place of need to be perfect but like coming from a place of thought uh a place of like wisdom a place of processing um i think also that like her empathy i've always said that like uh when jessica is at her best which is often um she is the most empathetic person i've ever met which because like i'm not i'm quick to like kind of like judge or criticize or i'm a i'm a really good critic when i'm not healthy and when i'm like not in a good place and so her empathy and her care and love uh like kind of helps me re readjust my thought process um which i really love and respect cause i need that i i need that bad that's awesome i love that y'all it is y'all are so sweet are such a sweet couple and i'm like so excited for all to see each other tomorrow because you know like if you christian are the same way if you have to do anything together like online like that was so sweet you're like i need to see you i know it's like i need to argue right now it's so sweet okay so lastly i want to talk to you about this because ben you're so honest in your book about so many things that you've gone through and i love that you have so much scripture and so much uh so many things in the bible that are so relatable like for people who may struggle to read the bible it's so your book is so easy to read but it's so powerful and impactful but i love that you talked about the stuff that you knew people also wanted to talk about like the bachelor and for me like that's always the hard thing because i don't want to talk about the thing that everybody wants me to talk about but i know i need to because it's important that you get you know the heart out and you talked about your previous relationship and how you were engaged before but that wasn't the person you were supposed to marry clearly because now y'all are together and it's so obvious that you all too are the one for each other and so there's a difference in that right i dated people that clearly weren't the one for me some people that i actually thought i was married and it didn't work out what was it for you about jess or in y'all's relationship when you were like this really is the one i'm gonna marry um and what are things that people can look for those qualities to know this is somebody like back to that word commit that i really can commit to the rest of my life with yeah that's good uh well first off like big question there's a beauty it's a big question um there's a beauty in the question you just asked though that i want to point out because um there's something important that jessica does for me that we talk about often that has been been the freeing thing that we spoke of before so like she gives me permission to share my story and like she doesn't run away from my story um she's not scared of my story she yeah i don't think she like wants to watch my season of the bachelor over and watch it with her two eyes and like have to relive it for 13 episodes um but she she has accepted and owned the fact that like that is a piece of me and it's made and it has like it's it's brought me to this place today and it has it's caused scars it's caused wounds it's caused me to like see better what i wanted in a partner um and so i don't feel like i have to run away from that or hide it or suppress it which is like freeing for me and like a really beautiful thing in a partnership that she allows me to share my story freely and openly and honestly so good i want to start there uh because that is a huge reason why uh you know you can commit to somebody and that you want to commit to somebody for the rest of your life because they free you of any shame and any pain like not pains they free you of any shame and any guilt that you've carried from past relationships it would be really easy for me similar to you like to walk into life and feel like i'm only defined by a reality show that i did for a period of my life yes it's a part of my story but it's not hopefully going to be the biggest in fact i also hope that it's not the thing at 70 years old that i'm sitting on the couch going that was the coolest thing i've ever done in my life yeah i hope there's some other stuff involved and so i want to be free to like own the fact that that was a season of my life but also move forward in what the next chapter is so the final thought to this is that like i knew i could commit to jessica because one uh she wants to see me thrive like she desires to see me thrive um she desires to see me free um and she also i'm a better man with her in my life because she doesn't restrict me now there's obviously when you get in a relationship there's new boundaries that are set like there's new things that are wise and unwise to do but when it comes to me as a person and like who like god is calling like what god has called me towards i know that if i told her i think god has called me to this or hey i want to go hang out my buddies tonight she is i don't have to worry about the fact that i am just going to get destroyed back home she's going to just be like you just go like do you and i don't know it's just a freeing that i have with her like i feel very free and my burden is lifted with her that's so good no i'm so glad that you shared that and the thing is like for people listening i don't just ask all these questions so y'all can just talk to each other about it because i know you know all these things you you know ben thinks about you you know just things about you but i think that you all are such a great example for this generation to look up to like it i'm so thankful for you all because you are a christian couple who pursues the lord pursues each other so respectfully and so sweetly y'all don't try to be perfect you're very real about struggles you've gone through and i think that you know a lot of people like we talked about like the bachelor's their idea of dating or a dating another dating show they watch or a dating podcast or whatever and not that those are bad things at times they can be good things but for that's not really realistic all the time and so to hear from a real couple who is really walking through life and willing to share the real things and also like point to jesus as the thing that makes everything work i'm so thankful for and i want to ask you all these questions so people can hear how you talk to each other how y'all are kind each other how you pursue each other because that is such a great example and i'll just say so thank you all for like who you are and how y'all are walking this out and just like just to say from every woman in the world i just had to like respect you for your confidence like you have such a quiet confidence about you because you're not flashy with your confidence you don't have to post certain pictures of you wearing certain things or doing things are flashing where you're at you're just confident because of who you are and you sit in that so beautifully and i think that that's why you can let ben share his story and be who he is because you're free to be who you are and it's huge and so thanks for just being you and ben thanks for being such a good man who has um just continued to stay true to who you are and your faith and just openly shared with the world things you've gone through because it's helped so many people so i just think the world of y'all i respect y'all so much i've like seen you all both at different times and never hung out all together so one day we need a double date we'll have to hit up colorado but thanks for being on the podcast and just sharing your hearts with us hey thank you very much thank you that's really kind and thank you for having me yes hopefully the next time i see you it'll actually be in person gosh hopefully we always say this i know it really is actually time we've had so many conversations all right well i love you guys hey thank you sadie love you all see you guys [Music] welcome back to the good or bad advice i'm your host christian and this is my lovely assistant satan assistant why'd you say wife my wife assistant okay thanks i'll take it uh we love this part of the podcast for you guys sending good and bad advice to our instagram and on our yellow sister it's our favorite part of the day it's our favorite of the week we love it all right let's get to it christian you only get better by being with people who are better than you that's so true for you you're so much better ever since i came into your life that is so true looking at my life before sadie then i'm just like you can't even get it in the shop it's just way up here um but no i think i think that's true um but i do think sometimes you know hanging out with people that maybe aren't as skilled with you and something that they like that can cause you to rise up you know that's so true um i think there's that aspect of it too yeah i think there's both i mean obviously i think it's a good thing to hang out with people who might be years above you and whatever they're good at more wisdom more more grace more love more energy better at you than working out that's good for me with christian because he helps me with that there are aspects of your life that you want to hang out with people who push you to be better but then there are times that you might be a little better than somebody at something and you need to invite them into it and hopefully teach people and by doing that that can even help you increase whatever you're doing yep makes the world a better place yeah good stuff you make me better too babe you make me better too baby right me too whenever i said that you're so sweet oh my people are gagging i'm just kidding all right your direction is more important than your speed that is advice for you yeah that's good advice for you you need to take that yeah i received that actually i received that this was a good advice when we got from christian i took a tennis lesson last week and the guy was telling christian like you're driving the car 100 miles per hour and the car is like hard for you to control because you're going at such a fast speed a lot of my shots were just not going because they weren't going in but they were hard they were fast and he said take it he said take it back to like 60 like miles per hour like 70s like you can actually drive a car like 60 and it was so good because christian stopped trying to kill it every time and he was actually getting the ball in which made him a much better player so i think that is great advice and it kind of echoes what we just learned yeah that's true but also think about it too like when we were dating you know we had that we always talked about you know yes we're going the same direction but we want to be going the same speed and the same pace so i think there are aspects that you can be going the same direction but if if you're running faster than i'm running you're not going to want to be dragging me along see if it is the same direction you want you might want to be cautious of it in that area true i love that it's great all right when you're sad eat chocolate chip pancakes yes great you like blueberry bacon i do healthier than me but that's not even like healthy i just think they taste just healthy no that's like a blueberry muffin a chocolate muffin i'm not eating the blueberry because it's more healthy for me i think it tastes good okay that's cool i've always thought you did it because that was healthier and i just like talked it better but i will say like obviously chocolate chip pancakes will not cure your sadness and i don't think you should cope with food or anything other than god but chocolate chip pancakes are good and why would you not eat one when you're sad that's true yeah boom i think we end it there because that was great advice that was great advice go eat a chocolate chip pancake peace you

Channel: Sadie Robertson

Views: 64,594

Rating: 4.9578114 out of 5

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Id: CgMGRttEmls

Length: 40min 34sec (2434 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 08 2021