Where In The World Is Rudy Giuliani?

say hello to Lou K and the L show band everybody nice to see you come just uh up and just a shortly here up just a shortly here we got from the new movie Babes Michelle buto comedian will be out here in just a moment and just one of the greats just a lovely guest and a perfect person to have on right now Mr George Stephanopoulos will be out here in just a moment Tim talk about the world you know and all that's in it um folks everybody who knows me knows I'm big into hip hop the rippity wraps as we call it which is why I was personally devastated to learn that an obituary has appeared in the Detroit Free Press for Eminem's fictional Ultra ego Slim Shady if only the authorities had thought to contact his doctor but sadly They Forgot About Dre now the heartless buzzards of the media industry out there claim that Eminem is just running this fake obituary to promote his upcoming album the death of Slim Shady Cuda manm as he has repeatedly asked me not to call him is a true artist he would never stoop to emotionally manipulating his fans for a few streams plus no major media figur is going to be dumb enough to fall for this oit and promote the death of Slim Shady CAG available later this summer no this o bit is real and can mean only one thing will The Real Slim Shady please stand up now I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real shady all the other slim shadies are just imitating both The Real Slim Shady please stand up come on which means all the royalties for that music should be sent to The Real Slim Shady care of stepen Co bear Ed suan theater New York New York or just go to Time Square and look for the building with my name on it speaking of people who are not technically dead Rudy Giuliani seen here as a celebrity spokes model for corpse teeth corpse teeth they're free back in December Rudy declared bankruptcy after being ordered to pay $148 million to two pole workers whom he defamed but so far Rudy hasn't paid a scent of the judgment and the judge overseeing his bankruptcy case is losing his patience and yesterday the judge warned Rudy that he is Disturbed that so little progress has been made in sorting out his finances that is amazing a man who has been looking into the Affairs of Rudy Giuliani every day for months still has the capacity to be disturbed the judge is poed because while Rudy claims poverty and refuses to pay pay the Judgment he has reportedly been spending funds to pay his girlfriend's credit card bill which raises the question who is Rudy giuliani's girlfriend guys come here I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Swiffer with googly eyes she lives in the closet in a beautiful abandoned office building in Hell's Kitchen I woke up it was love at first sight I will admit our relationship is mostly physical she's a Wet jet last week we're all adults last week Rudy Giuliani Lost His Radio Show here on WABC in New York but his attorneys insist that Rudy's trying to pay up claiming he has additional work lined up to bring in money but they didn't say what kind of work that was okay this is just a guess but it is only a few months until Spirit Halloween opens and they always need window displays even if Rudy does somehow scrape up the scratch to pay this judgment he has a host of other legal troubles waiting for him last month in Arizona he was indicted for trying to overturn the 2020 election but now Arizona officials say they can't find Giuliani to serve him with the official indictment notice Rudy's missing and not only that but Rudy Giuliani has the same number of syllables as Carmen San Diego so I am legally obligated to make my band play this well he goes from bar to bar got from a dead horse down the street while BS and smok [Music] cigars jul so actually it's surprising they can't find Rudy because he hasn't exactly been discreet about his whereabouts this is how he started his Twitter live stream yesterday good afternoon this is Rudy Giuliani with the Rudy Giuliani show live from Palm Beach yep from Palm Beach just a mile from Mar Lago just 40 Steps From the inter Coastal and about third of a mile from the Atlantic Ocean if Arizona prosecutors are watching I'm 25 ft east of the Chipotle off South Dixie Highway cross the street from a red Toyota Camry I'm waving my hand out the window do you see me no okay I'll drop a pin you'll know you've gone too far if you hit the Artic ocean we'll be right back with George Stephan [Music]

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,028,146

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: IEB0Wde2pow

Length: 5min 57sec (357 seconds)

Published: Thu May 16 2024