Selfishness in Marriage | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans

I want to remind you that God created marriage before sin came into the human race according the Bible do you believe the Bible story which I do and Adam and Eve had a wonderful marriage and they met each other's needs and they were very much in love and then if you remember sin came into the Garden of Eden remember sin was not just sin it was a spirit of self before sin came into the human race they were serving God in each other they remember Eve was called to help mate and Adam was her help mate they were equals and they were God's servants and Satan came into the garden and began to say if you eat that fruit you will be like God and all of a sudden everything was about them now I want to I want to tell you something about marriage and listen to me if you would because this will help you okay marriage was created by God to bless you and make you happy right after it kills you okay marriage is designed to kill you to kill self I heard someone say one time I've got some really bad news and that is the two most powerful beings in the universe are both trying to kill you Satan and God and it's the truth Satan's trying to kill you through all kinds of evil but God is trying to kill you through marriage as soon as you die you'll have a wonderful marriage and what has to die is that selfish spirits all about you it's all about you if your needs are getting met everything's fine if your needs aren't getting met nothing's fine but you don't measure find by yours by your spouse see here's here's what I tell people in marriage you're successful when your spouse tells you you are but you're not successful until then a lot of people say well I'm a good husband I don't know what her problem is I'm a good husband you're not a good husband till she says it you know what it's just how pathetic is that going around so I'm a good husband one of the one of the biggest fights that Karen and I ever got in we were riding in the car we had been to a mall or something and we just you know one of those stupid things that sparked a really bad fight and I remember being in the car humble person that I am and I remember in the car and I was yelling at Karen and I said I'm a good husband I'm a good husband and I remember her looking at me like oh how pathetic is this you know it and when I look back on it I was so defensive I was so insensitive and the reason that we were fighting is because of insensitivity selfishness is just it's all about me it's all about my rules it's all about what I want it's not about you I don't want to have to be sensitive to you I don't want to have to sacrifice to meet your needs and here's what happens because you know typically when you when you get into marriage it's either wonderful or terrible it really is I mean marriage is either the most wonderful thing in the world the most terrible thing the world it just depends on it the spirit of self has died yet or not and when Karen and I got married we were miserable and I played golf all the time and I worked all the time and when I came home it was all about me and my needs and I didn't care if Karen's knees were getting met and she would constantly ask me if I would do certain things and I just didn't want to and I say no but I wanted her to do the things that I wanted her to do and the night that our marriage was healed well I told her to get out of the house we had a big fight because I was so selfish it was all about me I was very dominant and I dominated her home and I dominated Karen and I remember we fought I said Gil go in there and get out of the house and go back to your mom and dad I'm sick of you and I'm sick of your mouth and all that well Karen one of the bedroom and she was crying and I remember sitting I was a Christian and I remember sitting there just thinking how do you know how do you do this how do you do this I'm so tired of this you know it's just it's miserable and that's when I died that's the night I died that's the night that the selfish obnoxious dominant insensitive Jimmy finally died and I walked in to the bedroom karen was sobbing and I said I'm sorry I'm sorry for the way I've treated you I'm sorry for what I've done and I've been wrong this first time I'd ever said I was wrong and all of our marriage and years of dating I because I was just such an idiot and I went in there and I apologized and I said I'm sorry for the way I've talked to you and she said Karen stopped me and she said the worst thing you've ever done is the way you talked to me worst thing you've ever done and I said I'm sorry and I know that you probably don't trust me anymore because of things I've done but however long it takes I'll prove to you that I've changed and I did I've never gone back I've never gone back on my word when I told it now I've made mistakes but when I told her that night that I had changed that's when I died and that's when our marriage started being wonderful marriage what marriage is brutal on selfish people it's just brutal but marriage is wonderful on people who have died to that spirit of self let me say this the best marriage in the world is to servants in love servants live to please somebody else servants servants are sensitive because they love pleasing somebody else and a wonderful if you could meet each other's needs you wouldn't get married I told this story before and some of my seminars and that is the picture of heaven and picture of Hell and the picture of heaven is everybody sitting at a banquet table and they're eating and enjoying everything they're eating but the picture of hell is all the banquet table is there but they have utensils on their hands that are too long to feed themselves but in Hell everybody is so selfish that they starve to death before they'll feed somebody else and when you get married that's the perfect picture of marriage there's a banquet table in front of you and you have what your spouse needs but if you could feed yourself you wouldn't get married but the secret of a happy marriage is looking at your spouse and saying putting hungry for it and they say I'm hungry for this because you have it as a man you can meet her needs as a woman you meet his needs you have it it's inside of you you can't meet your own needs but you can meet their needs and the secret of marriage is focusing on them taking what God has given you and feeding them and the perfect marriage is two people unselfish people who love each other and accept each other and listen to each other and you just spend the rest of your life feeding each other and this yummy yummy yummy old boy and my hat are you happy oh my gosh oh my gosh they're 2-speed me my mom only but the worst marriages are two selfish people and they have the utensils on and they have what they need two people they both have what they need but they're both so selfish or one I'm in so selfish that they won't focus on the other person and I promise you this marriage was designed to bless you and make you happy right after it kills you thank you for joining us partner with marriage today and receive the marriage on the rock series on CD or dvd follow your interest and get social by connecting with Jimmy and Karen and the ministry of marriage today on Twitter marriage today's latest book happy happy love will supercharge your marriage with practical tips wisdom and inspiration for every stage of marriage visit happy love book dot-com become a rock solid partner today and equip yourself with the tools you need for a successful marriage $14 $28 or $56 per month choose the partnership level that's right for you become a rock solid partner today you

Channel: MarriageToday

Views: 192,268

Rating: 4.9330492 out of 5

Keywords: marriage, needs, men, women, servant, selfishness, relationship help, jimmy evans

Id: Ra7MXsCp62o

Length: 7min 34sec (454 seconds)

Published: Tue May 22 2012