When You Are Forced to Grow Up

what happened that forced you to finally grow up my mother left me in a restaurant when i was a freshman in high school with twenty dollars and moved across the state without me i had my grandparents who were willing to drive five hours and to give me a place to stay while i went to high school but it got me to get emancipated and get rid of that drug addict from my life i feel bad for my little brother though who she took with her everywhere on her drug-filled life he still to this day can't be too far away from mom in case she needs his help i used to be an extreme and unapologetic shut-in i moved to a new city to attend university but stayed very isolated i used to take regular trips back to my hometown for weed and beyond that the only significant social contact i had was one friend from back in high school who was studying in a different city on pretty much the other side of the country he lived the shut-in life too but didn't smoke and always seemed to have his crap relatively together we regularly skyped for hours and hours since we both spent a lot of our free time in front of our computers at some point i started running out of money and had to start taking jobs around that time said friend committed suicide sorry about your friend my brother getting cancer dude doesn't drink doesn't smoke takes amazing care of himself and has a successful career as a screenwriter i was 60 pounds overweight smoking a pack and a half a day and getting drunk stoned every night of the week when the big c showed up i realized i needed to get my crap together got a gym membership curbed the drinking quit the sticks and got my life together my brother recovered and now we can enjoy healthy living together it's rewarding dad was killed in an accident that didn't do it mom decided to deal with it by watching tv forever barely ever leaving the couch that didn't do it rest of the family blackballed me for not participating in their religion that didn't do it i was two years graduated unemployed in a dead-end gig economy career path spending most of my time on an xbox that didn't do it my girlfriend's friends had an intervention and told her she could do better than me that did it she was my first and only girlfriend we had basically grown up together we read the same books i'd beat her at smash but she'd beat me at mortal kombat i'm not a complete person without her her friends weren't wrong but i wasn't going to let them be right two months later i had a crappy minimum wage job that i worked at for a year before it fell through but then i got another crappy minimum wage job that i worked my butt off at for almost a year and then got promoted took my real job money and found a place to live a year after that she agreed to move in with me we've been married adults for almost a decade this makes my heart so happy i am glad you did it for your girl good on you sir i was a freak up college student and my mother died of lung cancer i had to drop out and get a job as a bill collector deepest respects to you for that my uncle passed away in 2011 and i attended his funeral we typically don't do open caskets in hinduism and we cremate the body as soon as possible but because he had helped out people in the neighborhood we held an open casket for one afternoon a thousand people showed up at my late grandma's house each one of them sobbing when they saw him and coming up to me and family members telling us about how he helped them get off the streets how he bought clothes for them how he gave them food when they were hungry how he helped them get jobs get into school we had no idea who my uncle was i carried his legs on my shoulders to the funeral van which was to take him to the cremation site and the day after i picked up his warm bones with my bare hand and helped them release his ashes into the nearby ocean that was the day i realized that i was no longer a kid and that i had some big footsteps to follow if i was to make a difference to my family my friends myself and everyone around me i've thought about this with my dad i can't count how many friends he has and everyone i've ever heard speak of and holds him in high regards the day will come where i'm going to have massive shoes to fill everyone always thought of me as the smart mature beyond my years person but i always got by in school with being pretty smart i didn't have to put effort into anything to get as college was a little rougher but after adjusting to putting in minimal effort into classes i was able to get us and a couple b's here or there the point is i was never challenged in the first 20 years of my life i was never a super immature child so no one ever felt the need to teach me a lot of things i assume they thought i'd figure it out or i already knew then i got cancer shortly before my 21st birthday and i had no clue how to deal with any sort of challenge in my life i was forced to grow up overnight or die i always knew in the back of mind i didn't know much about the real world and i needed to grow up sometime but i had convinced myself i was okay for now the cancer immediately destroyed that veil i vividly remember blankly staring out the hospital window watching the sun rise i was diagnosed at around 1am once the doctor left the whole time gradually telling myself that this was the time that i needed to finally grow up by the time the sun had risen my entire outlook on life had changed i hated the world and everyone in it i blamed god myself and anything i could for the situation i was in i told myself that was growing up and that was the only way for me to beat the cancer to hate it five years later i realized that i had done just the opposite of growing up i pushed everyone away friends gone extended family don't come around close family at their wits end i am now in the process of actually growing up at 25 trying to repair the relationships i lost over the past five years instead of hating the world trying to value the time that i have in it i thought growing up was doing difficulty or amazing things but it's not it's simply trying your best to not die alone the thought of dying alone never crossed my mind until i looked up one day and all my friendships and relationships had crumbled now it's my biggest fear i've come close to experiencing death and i'm currently experiencing being alone my version of growing up is to do my best to avoid combining the two that's really tough i hope you recover those friends and relationships soon english is my second language so therefore i may not write that well when i just turned 18 i saw all of the friends i had before me fall out of my hands like sand all of them either turned into drug addicts or bad asses the rest began to take school very very seriously and didn't have time for me anymore my mother moved to another town and behaved like i didn't existed my mother and i have a very bad relationship so there were i in the middle of it all i was too depressed to engage myself in school and of course i did not want to turn over to the dark side i has had taken some drugs but it's not me a month or so go by with me getting more and more miserable and depressed when suddenly my uncle gives me a call he then starts the conversation by telling me that he has never seen me worse and that he can tell that everything in my life isn't what it used to be he works as an industrial butcher at danish crown here in denmark and one of the departments is lacking of holiday workers it was in may 2018 so i thought why not frickit snd i started the week after dropped out of school and said to all of my friends that i would be missing in a few months of course they were all shocked but i did not care one bit i were on the edge of a cliff for suicide and depression after the first two weeks of extremely hard work and sleeping from 16 30 after work to 1830 to eat dinner and again at 21 30 i could feel a little spark in my stomach and after every week it grew bigger i couldn't believe it but there it was both happiness and satisfaction that i did something i liked three months go by and for every freaking day from 6 30 to 1600 hours i stood up worked my butt off without any absence august comes by and i could not continue therefore i was left for a choice high school or a boring job at the supermarket what didn't come to my mind was that i could take a craftsmanship education my world grew bigger from that moment and i started on the bricklaying education since that decision in may and august i have never been happier i now life in my own department work every day and come home with the most satisfied feeling in my stomach so to all of you out there on my age if school is not you consider doing the same thing as me it can really do something magical to you that's a good tale thanks for sharing it your uncle sounds like a good man too glad to hear you've found a path with purpose and happiness in life watching all of my friends move on with their life and graduate college while there i was still working at the same grocery store now i'm two years into a computer science degree better late than never right best of luck to you realizing that if i want to make something out of my life the responsibility lies squarely on me blaming other people the past present circumstances doesn't do anything other than make you feel crappy and demotivated that's so interesting i blame myself and i find myself struggling with depression took me the longest time to realize it wasn't normal for people to get so sad and anxious about themselves or how it really looks to other people the third of august 2016 804 am i was 14 and knew my dad was in the hospital in very bad shape i got a call on this morning from my mom saying that she loves me with all of her heart she then stalled for a few moments and told me that my dad won't be around anymore it really sucks waking up and seeing a picture of my dad right there next to a jar of his ashes i was his number two through our entire adventure together we always stayed right there side by side and that phone call tore me to pieces i now have to be an adult i have to show my dad that i'm aware that i made childish mistakes if he saw me now he would be so proud i'm a varsity running back in 11th grade i'm doing good in school i got my license two months before my 16th birthday and became a gearhead just like him i have my life on the right track and soon enough i'll be back home where i belong and not in this dumb adoptive house that i hate living at i'm sure he'd be very proud of you when i was 21 i suffered pregnancy loss i was five months pregnant and had my son stillborn i feel like i aged 10 years over those days of finding out he had no heartbeat delivering him and having his funeral changed my entire outlook on life incredibly sorry to hear that i could never imagine that pain i hope you are doing okay and wish you the best i started realizing that getting a heart attack over lag is just not worth it so i decided to grow up and take deep breaths instead got arrested for a dui made me realize how many stupid decisions i was making in the fact they could have extremely bad consequences potentially for others as well at least you've learned from it the first was when i put the barrel of my handgun in my mouth and pulled the trigger unfortunately the chambered round was a dud from a cheap box of ammo that had probably gotten wet in the past thinking it was a hang fire i sat there with the barrel in my mouth waiting for it to go off just thinking over everything that brought me to that decision i'm not even sure how long i stayed that way the second was a year or two later when i quit a job that i really liked my performance was poor and getting worse the higher-ups had nothing but resent when they looked at me and i just couldn't find the will to do better i begrudgingly left to make it easier for them since they didn't have the reasoning to legally fire me i spent the next few years homeless in an unfamiliar city with no contacts the third was after i had gotten a job on my own to get a place to live it wasn't a great job but i scraped by part way through my second year i quit so i could make another suicide attempt with a different method this time i knew i wouldn't fail unfortunately i was stopped while i was waiting for it to take effect i spent another few years homeless after that fast forward to today and i'm still growing up i enrolled at a university and was making some headway there but i recently have taken a break to think over another suicide attempt i like to think sometimes that my suicidal tendencies are the last vestiges of my young self trying to hold me back from growing up i guess time will tell if i ever grow up if i float through life stuck in between or i'm finally able to give in and end this ride life is obviously telling you that you are not meant to die yet hold on friend this year honestly x cheated on me i became homeless for a short time miscarried my rebounds kid never got the chance to tell him because we broke up got raped like three weeks later just lost a close friend yesterday because a mutual male friend claimed i was flirting with him and sending mixed signals even though i did no such thing and told him no so many times she believed him over me even after i asked her multiple times to tell him to stop i'm learning very quickly that i put too much value on being friends with everyone and being nice to everybody i won't tolerate crappy behavior anymore i'm learning to cut my losses and just focus on the people who don't mistreat me i hope you mean last year that's a whole lot of crap for a little over one month seriously though that's awful i'm sorry when i realized typical college-aged partying was killing me just couldn't figure out why it was a rare cancer-like disease that took years to reach a diagnosis if i didn't take charge and stop partying i'd probably be dead being kidnapped and raped by three strangers and almost murdered i grew up in a small affluent town thinking i was invincible and that bad things only happened to people on the news definitely not anyone in my life much less me humbled me up real quick and drastically changed my view on life in general holy crap i'm so sorry realizing that it is a better alternative than not growing up after doing a lot of soul searching and reading just living like a kid not taking up much responsibility when you're in your 20s and 30s is great in the short term but in the long term it makes you feel terrible depressed regretful act when you don't have a sense of meaning and accomplishment that only comes with taking up adult responsibilities having a career starting a family starting a business act act people in their 30s and 40s who haven't done much of value or meaning in their lives are pretty much all depressed and miserable from my experience this is so true realizing i meant nothing to my friends once it finally sunk in i decided to focus more of my efforts into doing well at work now i'm working in an industry i love and have made many friends with a likewise interest life does get better it does you made life better my mom drunkenly telling me in a bar she wants to divorce my dad i was in fifth grade i think that's when everything started to go bad by the time i was five i could tell people about the differences between male and female and what sex was not the kind where you're sat down and told about how a baby is made just the bare facts of sex and how it's done by the time i was six i knew how to lie through my teeth it then became a terrible habit but at times in my mind a truth and a lie felt like life or death but it also helped me be able to take the blame for things i hadn't done either by the time i was eight i knew how to change diapers do laundry and make meals if someone had to or it wouldn't end up well for everyone else by the time i was 10 i started realizing that my family was a bit different than others was it how they had nicer clothes married parents or that they weren't afraid of them when i was 11 i finally told my mom that my father did unusual things to me and some of my siblings i still didn't fully grasp that it wasn't normal as 16 is when i think my mind accepted the fact that i didn't really get a childhood i'm not sure when i exactly grew up maybe i'll never be mentally fully grown in a way i have times when i just want to be able to forget and pretend that i am a kid again but with parents that are happy and a house that doesn't look like a dump site and without knowing what only adults should do i'm so sorry that your childhood was like that and i hope you have been able to get any support you need my boyfriend at the time broke up with me forcing me to move out of his parents house where we lived the whole four years of our relationship as far as i know he is still living there three and a half years later i had to sleep in my sister's nursery she was pregnant with my nephew and i realized how pathetic my life was got a job and moved in with a roommate three weeks later now i have my own car own apartment and a healthy relationship my brother passed when he was 20 my dad passed a year later i'm here putting in the work to grow and i'm still dead inside it took my soul and burned it i am done being done though i can only go up from here depends on your definition of grow up according to my brother i'll never be grown up until i stop reading comics and playing video games and other childish things that i enjoy but as for being a fully functioning adult it just happened gradually my first time out of the house was the summer before i graduated college out of state internship and then i had one semester before moving out for good i had lived at home all through college i didn't have any issues paid my bills on time saved a ton of money stayed on top of life so i don't know if there was really one thing that triggered me to grow up i don't think your brother understands video games and comics are a form of entertainment like tv and movies or music i was playing in a band living in and out of a van playing 150 plus shows a year and touring for extended periods of time and yet i still live barely above the poverty level got sick of the poor boy ramen noodles and microwave pizza grind and quit the band in 2012. seven years later i've quadrupled my salary i miss that life all the time but i'm finally comfortable and able to enjoy life and not stress about money or porn belongings to put food in my stomach no reason you can't do the occasional open mic night or something if you miss it that badly i'm hoping that i won't have to choose between a stable job and my passions once i'm out of school i still haven't fully grown up i feel like i'm mashing every button on my controller and somehow making it past every hurdle life throws while winning awards i'll add maybe it's begins luck getting married kind of forced me to grow up a bit though my mom took my uncle into our house with a pregnant woman and her boyfriend who asked the father when the woman finally had a baby the mother decided she couldn't handle it and abandoned her child with us my mom didn't want to deal with the baby i guess but she wanted to still have him and get money from the state for him so i was left to take care of a six-week-old at 12 years old at the age of 15 my mother kicked me out in the middle of winter and i moved in with my sister who kicked me out right after i turned 16. two years later and my father kicked me out and i was on my own realized pretty young that i had to be the adult in my family since no one else was parents moved us across the u.s without having jobs beforehand spent a year there they were supposed to be looking for jobs not waking up their nine-year-old at 3am on a school night to see if she wanted pizza i ended up doing everything for myself that year and never stopped my girlfriend at the time was freeloading and spending all her time smoking synthetic marijuana and drinking enough to destroy her pancreas via pancreatitis she was manipulative and closing off my relationships to family and friends so i broke up with her and she continued to live on the couch and i truly became a grown up about a month later please don't judge when i came home and helped her pack all her things and took my apt keys she was not on the lease and put her in her truck and said goodbye i came out to my extremely homophobic parents at 16 i spent the next two years being verbally berated by the two of them and was very close to being kicked out so bring up to the fact that i couldn't be honest about something i knew i couldn't change i knew when i was 12 tried to change it for years prior to coming out and have them love me anyway matured me a lot parents are still a bit homophobic 13 years later but are working on it those years still sucked though i did this thing to my girlfriend and her belly grew and nine months later an alien popped out crying i've been trying to tame it ever since lol my older brother shot himself when i was 12 mom moved him home after it happened unfortunately he is addicted to drugs so the family tried pulling all resources to get him clean and keep him out of trouble when you're the quiet sibling you tend to be forgotten or it's assumed that you'll be fine taking care of yourself so you do the best you can i have a mortgage own a brand new truck that paid off make good money heck i am a married foreman for a large commercial construction company and do a dozen or so million dollar projects a year i don't consider myself an adult like i view my parents grass has to be cut i'll do it next week next week i'll give neighbors kid 20 to cut it for me i became a citizen about 10 years ago still haven't adjusted my ssn status my brand new house needs gutters i've been working on it for just over a year the list goes on unless i am going to make 50 hours doing it i am probably not going to do it and instead play pc games i will say i am a completely different person at work i walk faster with purpose my brain is going 100 non-stop i talk differently much more diplomatic and soft-spoken but that side just gets turned off as soon as i park the work truck and put away my work phone watching my mom slowly die from an illness for nine years it started the year i graduated high school i've become a much kinder more loving person and stopped a lot of my bad habits i lost my dad june the 9th of 2017. sorry you been through so much was semi grown up until forced to fully grow up when my mom got stage four colon cancer diagnosed late in that had already spread everywhere chemo was fine but fricked her immune system so when she was hospitalized after a spinal fracture from a match he got terrible infections and declined rapidly a one-week planned stay turned into nine weeks trapped on a ward i had to give up my work and life in general to be her full-time carer since rest of the family are selfish and won't chip in but well she was my mum and i loved her and wanted her to have better cares in some minutes wage thrice a day council visitors uk here watched her go from nine stone to a skeletal five stone in the space of five months when your mom is sent home to die because she is in so much distress at the hospital and you are using a peritoneal vacuum bottle to suck 500 milliliters of cancerous fluid out of your mum's abdomen twice a day because the [ __ ] head district nurses refuse to win an attempt to take her pain down from a nine stroke ten to and seven stroke eight for a few precious hours it makes you grow up scarred me for life freak cancer everyone loved my mum and to see her suffer a slow agonizing death made me grow up in ways i could not have imagined i am glad i became her carer for those last months because i know she was terrified and i helped her through her passage off this planet she died peacefully mercifully a couple days after puking out her naso gastric feeding tube and refused to have it back in in the end didn't need the anti-psychotic yay 2018 the year i grew up if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: UE Studios

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Keywords: forced to grow up, grow up, forced, growing up, adulthood, adulthood meme, adult life, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2021

Id: DCmMb07GcnU

Length: 25min 44sec (1544 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 08 2021