What's The Craziest Thing Your Hornyness Made You Do?

what's the craziest thing you did just because you were horny took apart an old mobile phone to fashion myself a bullet vibrator it kind of worked but it overheated quite quickly m stir baited with toothpaste don't ask why but don't do it i suffered so you don't have to [Music] bought a 1961 puget 403 there was this girl i really liked when i was 20 or so but she wasn't really in my circle of friends in a way that she ever noticed me her dad was kind of quirky into old cars and she drove one of his sometimes a puget 403 the only one of those i ever saw running i saw one in the newspaper and bought it 200 from a wrecking yard there was closing and clearing its lot it didn't run and was missing all sorts of things but came loaded down with boxes of extra puget parts from other more derelict non-runners in any case i eventually used it to strike up a conversation with her and got her to come over to my place which was totally awkward and weird as flop sweat nervous as a horny 20 year old could be in any case the whole thing went nowhere i moved from town for other reasons a while later and gave her dad the car as it wasn't worth dragging along and then you banged the dad drunkenly posting on adult friend finder in very graphic ways and then frantically deleting it the next day finally i went through with it after talking more with the guy via email and an eight-hour conversation on the phone also drunken this was back in 2011. the guy drove three hours to meet me and stay overnight in a hotel so we could have sex i hadn't dated or had any sx in four years because i was too shy but the guy seemed nice so i agreed to it and got in his car when he came to get me we went to dinner where i could barely string together more than two word answers afterward we went back to the hotel and started drinking and he told me i didn't have to have sx if i was uncomfortable i really wanted to though but the offer was kind we had more beers he played his guitar for me we talked and eventually had good hot air sex that was eight years ago and we are still together today and very happily married colin i drove three hours to pick up a girl and drove her three hours to my place for sx i then drove three hours to drop her back off at her place and then another three hours to drive back home so 12 hours in total of driving just to get laid at least i finally got to go balls deep in summon for the first time and experience what it's like to get a [ __ ] from someone who actually had experience with sucking dick unfortunately i never lasted long due to my inexperience and since she wanted someone confident who knew what they were doing i was a massive disappointment for her we never hooked up again still we had sex and she was hot you left out the time it took for sx so all together 12 hours and three minutes sniffed some panties found on the sidewalk no one was around presumably i looked around i picked them up sniffed i put them down i walked away this does not get easier to talk about with age that was a one-off i have told no one in my life about this nor will i edit smell keeps coming up like rain water it had rained lightly the night before in this particular segment of sidewalk does not see much sunlight i did not fully commit and my nose was an inch to three inches away because i don't know who these panties were on or what type of life this woman led i was safety oriented i washed my hands afterwards i was 14 was sitting across a dining table from my sister we were both doing homework except i had my hand up my shorts rubbing my [ __ ] had what i hope was an incredibly discreet orgasm she didn't look up from her books anyway though a few months later i woke up to sloppy wet sounds coming from her side of the room so i guess we're even like stirring mac and cheese was moving my ex-girlfriend into a new place and had to wait for the realtor because the key got stuck in the door laid out a blanket in the back of the u-haul tied her up with some of the rope and we went to town i stood in my mother's car in the night to have sx with gf while only having a learner's permit i was 15. i hit a deer on the way home quarter mile from my house with the deer used a permanent marker as a dildo when my husband and i were students we couldn't find anywhere private enough to get busy so we broke into my husband's uncle's old flat that was unoccupied at the time and had sex on the dusty wooden floor no furniture no blanket no dignity dignity is optional when the deed needs done picked up a pen in high school and accidentally upskirt saw this girl with pink lace panties went to the bathroom nobody used except during after school events and jerked it ended up dating her two years later as a senior and told her about it guess she had a crush on me and remembered it because she spread on purpose when she saw me drop it i was still embarrassed though edit today i learned i lived kids anime dreams and to answer some other no rubbed one out while my brother and my dad were in the same room sleeping edit i had broken up with my girlfriends not too long before this we never did it but we did other things that held it in at least comma sleeping pretending to be asleep to avoid the awkwardness tried sticking a pen up my ass the cap got stuck in there and i spent the next half an hour getting it out absolutely disgusting who in their right mind would think it is a good idea to use the cap end 22 years ago i jacked off to hillary clinton and ricky lake befriended a ukrainian cam model who happened to be the same age as me and in university studying geology and then did nothing essel at all for months and just chatted whenever she was online with her taking occasional breaks for private shows eventually she asked for my skype and we talked on off hours and she gave me an unsolicited private show for free one day she never logged back on and we've been living our separate lives but i always wonder what happened to her when we were in first year of college my ex and i used to have sx in the back seat of my car all the time it doesn't have tinted windows we would do it in broad daylight too and quite a few times people walked by regardless of how secluded an area was i also hooked up with a guy on a beach chair at night right on a public beach someone ended up stealing his bag and he had to chase him down stark naked went to the bathroom at church to rub one out i knew a girl who had sex with her boyfriend in the church bathroom on our one zero zero zero mile drive back from our honeymoon i rubbed one out on the highway at 3am while my husband was driving not ashamed my boyfriend was taking me home late at night and i had strict parents who didn't want him staying over we stopped at a seven stroke 11 on the way pulled into the entrance and couldn't wait to park or properly situate ourselves f ked in the back seat with the door wide open and a security camera behind us i was also already 15 minutes past curfew so you ended up getting back 16 minutes past curfew f k had a guy in the middle of day in the middle of a park in a moderately large city here in finland middle of the day in finland probably means it still was pitch dark and nobody saw when i was about 12 i stuck an atari 2600 joystick up my ass not sure why exactly just a weird horny kid thing is atari 2600 joysticks have a rubberized coating no lube on it equals holy [ __ ] my [ __ ] hurts made it like a centimeter in and started yelping like a dog i was talking to one of my really good friends on aim for a few hours back in high school and she told me she was watching prn and she was horny i was actually 15 and a virgin at the time and i joked about coming to get her and bring her back to my house as my parents were out of town i didn't think she was actually going to say yes and she did i walked 5 miles at 12 at night and she snuck out and walked back to my house we ended up talking in bed for about 30 minutes before i finally got the balls to make my move and i ended up coming in about five minutes we took a shower and round two in the shower and it was amazing she ended up telling me could barely walk and her legs were shaking like crazy and i ended up having to give her a piggyback ride back nearly five miles i got her home at like five thirty a.m before her parents woke up and that rid it is how i lost my virginity and probably the craziest thing i've done to have sx not really crazy but back when i was with my ex i would sometimes have to perform the secret jerk off while she was in bed with me sleeping one time she woke up and said to stop shaking the bed while i was emsturbating it was actually pretty funny i did this and my gf got mad at me that's how i found out she's into getting f ked in her sleep and also that i'm into f king her in her sleep we got married got on a plane flew for six hours including a brief layover in midway which is a hell just for some dick i've been doing this on the regular for like six years now a really old man for forty dollars i was horny and also needed money not my proudest moment cranked one out in a portaloo with people waiting for me to finish f k had a girl up against a tree next to a parking lot at a church festival at least one car honked at us semicolon semicolon tug my rowboat if you will while on a cruise with my family my dad was sleeping in the other bed it had been two weeks so the lady going over how to put on a life vest properly really got me going made this user name was with my friend at my place at midnight during junior year of high school he's talking to this girl on video chat and that girl has a pretty cute friend they're at the cute friend's house and her parents aren't there so she wants to fck someone while she has the house cute friend tells girl this girl tells my friend friend tells me he wants to go see this girl and says i'll probably get laid but it's a two-hour walk a half hour into the walk it starts to rain we weren't sure if we should go back then said fck it and went for it ended up getting there around 2 am soaked to the bone got it and though self bondage that stuff is freaky especially when you get stuck jerked off in the pool when i wasn't alone that's how you get all the girls in the pool pregnant at once i stuck my dick in a shampoo bottle in the shower and took me five minutes to get it put because it was during that weird phase where you're getting the boner and my dick got stuck slayed the door girl at a show i was playing in my band's van which was parked right in front of the venue it was still daylight and everyone in line could see the van rocking her boss the promoter wasn't thrilled who would be thrilled if their employee was murdered robbed one out in the dentist office in the dental chair while waiting for the dentist to come in [Music] paid five hundred dollars for a [ __ ] at a strip club to be fair the vip room came with champagne and the stripper let me smell her armpits while blowing me username checks out but i'm still trying to figure out the logistics here oh no i once had phone sx with a friend while he was sitting in his car at home and i was in a hotel lobby for a conference it was like a small gathering area not an actual lobby but it was still pretty public i never like took off my clothes or anything but it would have been super awkward if anyone had walked in can i say it dart i am stir baited in a school bathroom cabin my thing was just too excited and every time i got up the chair i had a weird boner to hide and it was awkward play one of those stupid chat roulette games when you get your tits out for point swoop whoop i looked up prostate massage and ended up with a vibrating toothbrush up my alley bet your breath smelled like tea afterwards one time i was in a grocery store there was this really cute girl she was so pretty i just couldn't contain myself i walked over introduced myself and asked for her number till this day i still don't know what came over me f k had a cousin of a friend on a music festival in broad daylight right there on the grass we got cheered it was nice i also was like f ked a cousin next i stuck an entire game boy advance cartridge up my ass monopoly man was inside of my [ __ ] was away for work and in the hot tub in a hotel at like 5 a.m after working in overnight they opened the pool up from the early cause i made small talk with the guy at the front desk and asked him was moving in the hot tub when i noticed the jets were blowing super hard casually directed my manhood towards it and wondered if it was blowing hard enough to make me blow a load exited the tub to grab a newspaper so it would look like i had a reason to be facing the opposite way in the hot tub started reading the paper while i let this jet i didn't even know give me one of the most satisfying blow jobs i've ever received i came like the moon no shame in my game i was watching and no one was around or really awake i got out after my boner subsided and went to bed drained of all my fluids and dignity started talking to strangers online to get attention into sxt so that maybe i won't just hemster but prn it has worked and it's also how i met my husband jerked it on deployment in a shared bathroom probably 20 dudes trying to sht skeet in their own private world except for one dish bag who kept trying to drum up conversations about the new project we were working on while i was trying to get going with a pixelated picture of an asian woman and not letting the smell of the runny diarrhea from the rancid meat we were given ruined my happy time fck you white you knew what was happening had one date with a guy next date we met in a hotel room where he tied me up f kept me in the ass had never done it before and he was um forceful pissed on me and made me call him prince it was f king weird but i was horny my high school sweetheart and i lost our virginities to each other on our school ski trip in a hotel room full of people probably pretending to be asleep i mean i wouldn't mind f king in front of other people in general but like maybe they should consent to it first also with the same girl we were upstairs at her parents place and got super horny so we just started having crazy not thinking about what we're doing sx after we were done i realized that we just f ked on her five-year-old bro's bed her mom then wanted to know why we were washing her brother's bedding but no one else is at 2pm in the afternoon so f king embarrassing f ked in a public park and in her apartment complex laundry room not use protection with ons did that this weekend making out naked and with some grinding it slipped and so i figured wtf let's just keep going damage done ask my wife 4sx got a [ __ ] in the back of a church van in high school usually when i tell the story i end there leaving out the fact that there were like 10 other kids in the car and our youth pastor was driving i never got called out on it but he did make us sit apart on the next trip idk why people are claiming jerking it in the bathroom is the craziest thing they ever did i was jerking it in the bathroom every day in fifth grade made a five-course meal whole morel mushrooms sauteed with butter gotcha jang garlic sesame oil and scallion burbank and jiggly with shallot capers parmigiano-reggiano and prosciutto braised pork belly in an apple maple and bourbon reduction served on a bed of cauliflower grits seaweed salad with pumpkin seeds cranberry and pear strawberries peaches and blackberries in clotted cream with powdered caramel and a dash of fresh basil inspired by the movie chef with praline pecans beside started by serving french 75s finished with negronus pinot grigio and chianti on the table my gf and i at the time were in a semi-ldr we hadn't seen each other in over a month it was our first anniversary it was my shark week i was in a word manic it was the worst case of i'm horny but can't i've ever experienced i had to put all that energy somewhere so i splurged made the menu and when she complimented the first course i came back with well i have to get you to eat something before i realized what i said we laughed we ate and luckily enough for me when we saw each other the next week she was still seduced from earlier i jerked off while i was in class back in eighth grade somehow didn't get caught was on a road trip with my boyfriend at the time spent the first half topless driving through construction zones also spent a majority of that time with his dick in my mouth we passed a rest stop about 30 minutes from our destination and went into one of the washrooms i rode him while he sat on the toilet when we finished he looked around only to realize that the place was infested with huge spiders worked in a resort cleaning rooms was cleaning this room with a german chick called maria masses of vessel attention ended with a speed f king for five minutes on the floor while the guests enjoyed the pool just 10 steps away almost fck someone that was almost assuredly going to pull me into a terrible relationship just because she was available at the time to make the nasty had sex without condom repeatedly i'm father of three now your pullout game is weak sir you

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Id: Vjpmk_qDAZk

Length: 20min 58sec (1258 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 29 2020