What Surprised You About S3x? (r/AskReddit)

what about sex did you not know about until it happened I knew that condoms could slip off I did not know that they could slip off and disappear into my hoo-ha the dongs can grow significantly when a guy gets hard I assumed for the longest time that most well-hung gentleman had all that hanging in their pants at all times it wasn't until I saw my boyfriend's flaxseed Don for the first time that I knew something was up big difference George Costanza wishes everyone knew about this that the g-spot feels differently than the rest of it first time using my hand I was exploring seeing what she liked and all of a sudden I find this spot that feels different than the surrounding areas and she went crazy so I stayed there extended pleasure condoms wouldn't sell if they called them by their proper name of dong numbing condoms man Frick those condoms it's like your dong took a trip to the dentist it is really hot inside you can cook a hot dog in a birth canal I swear doing it in the shower is really hard holding her up against the wall was one the riskiest things I've ever done sticking torille in the shower was what I ended up doing it was awesome sometimes girls shake when they climax really really scary for an inexperienced kid eating his girlfriend out when she puts her head back and starts to have full body shakes for a few seconds I was pretty confident that I was about to witness an assortment of demons leave her coochie I thought doggy style or related positions meant it was going in your butt and yet the canine species continues to flourish against all expectations weird noises movies make intercourse seem so sensual and it really is good man there are some weird-ass noises during I call it stirring mac and cheese I remember the first time I did it my boyfriend at the time said I was really tight and after a few pumps my coochie farted I was mortified he looked at me and said was that an orgasm I couldn't stop laughing leg cramps they are the frickin devil incarnate I swear to God one minute you're pumping away on top of a nice lady the next moment you're suddenly Whiting out in pain rolling around on the other side of the bed nearly in tears as the muscles in your leg trick you harder than you ever thought possible freaking cramp BS that lady parts have a finish line also the position of the cervix changes throughout the month some of the sperm comes back out I like to call this the Prison Break how mercy it isn't how awesome baby wipes are first serious girlfriend after a month or two I finally tried the accidental boob graze which led to full groping all right this is actually happening so a week or two later I go for the drawstring on her pants denied that she rests my hand on the outside of her pants on the crotch okay I'll take it except I don't know what it is that I'm taking I don't know what I'm supposed to do I just wanted to see how far I could go so after a minute or two of my hand just chillin there she takes my hand and starts running it over the outside of her pants ohh I'm supposed to rub it okay got it after a few minutes of that she undoes the drawstring of her pants letting my hand in I reach in under the underwear and keeping doing that rubbing motion she's showed me oh yeah do you feel that baby I'm totally doing the finger freak with you then she reaches down and moves my hand over to her actual hoo-hah I'd been stroking the fold between her leg and her pubic bone it's very messy sometimes maybe you're using too many condiments that it was a lot of work sometimes I mean am I the only one surprised at how good a workout really good frickin feels like babe get on top my arms are getting tired holding off from finishing during is a lot harder than holding it when you have to pee I remember my first girlfriend telling me that she can't get off if she is on top I thought she meant she would get physically stuck their semen isn't sticky I always assumed it was going to be like tacky glue or maple syrup nope just insanely slimy and even worse when you go to shower it off geez and water is a hellish combination you cannot order a boner like a pizza and you won't get a random sudden pizza dong skin moves I thought too [ __ ] involved rubbing the dong like you would to your finger but the skin moves too the first time I gave a [ __ ] I thought you just had to mush it around in your hand like a stress ball almost that when doing doggy the guy is looking at my butthole as well knowing that now I am conscious of poo and hair just recently realized this and knowing that for the past two years my bf has stared into my hairy butthole and never said a damn thing bless him it's way less of a big deal than you realized then when you get better at it it's way way more fun than you realized how incredible it feels to finish in another person that after rough anal where the guy finishes inside you you should very soon try to poop on the toilet otherwise you're laying there in bed and think you're going to fart when what actually happens is you unleash a hellish slurry of Lube sperm and crap and ruin the bedsheets and probably cause the hotel maid to question their job anal needs to be done right or things can go grossly wrong that girls can get really wet to the point where it looks like jizz first time I did it was in the dark so I couldn't see much second time I bent my ex over and stuck it in took it out and my dong looked like it was dipped in glue and started freaking out because I didn't know if I came or not that once you get inside it's really wet I didn't realize how hot two naked bodies lying next to each other could get I always assumed I'd get naked with my so and press my body against hers for hours on end never did I imagine that would led to me breaking a sweat after 10 20 minutes us forcing me to retreat back to my side of the bed but the orgasms I have from hooking up are way better than the ones I have from jerking off also you slip out that might be the worst part so frustrating for me it was that girls need you to be real gentle as the beginning or they can hurt a lot watching P I always imagined my wiener to just slide right in making her feel orgasmic and asking for more the fart noises sweaty chests pressing against each other make fart noises the wrong angle inside her and an air pocket forms which then makes a fart noise when it gets pushed out sometimes it's just regular old farts that's where the ability to laugh with your partner and enjoy the hilarity of the moment comes in very handy loud girlfriend and fart noises equals awkward breakfasts at my parents house I always assumed it was the woman's job to guide my dong into her I hovered over her and waited and she just looked at me like what and I asked if she could put it in and she was all your big boy you can do this it happened when I was a teen my GF told me that she wants to wake up with Orel so I wake up a little early and start poking her face with my dong later I found out that girls can get oral as well stereotypical but my first time was at a high school formal dance lifted the dress unzipped my fly got lady juice all over the crotch off my black suit pants I had no idea that girls splooshed I freaked out and thought my condom broke she thought it was funny and told me that it was normal for girls to do this and the fact that I had such a mess on my pants meant that I was doing a good job the hole is lower than I expected that as a male in direct angles are not your friend so much of my own enjoyment actually depends on the girl being turned on as well I did not know that men female here don't always want it as often as I do I've had a couple partners and some guy friends who all have told me that I all their GF want to get down and dirty more than they do I'm not sure if me and these few other girls are just weird or if this is some kind of gnorm that men and women aren't willing to admit them or talk about you will live in a golden age of free easily accessible P the world I grew up and didn't even have Cinemax softcore P I'd seen pictures I knew all of the good bits and bobs what I didn't know was how to properly work those bits I didn't know it was supposed to go in and out and in and out again and again so after many failed attempts I finally found a girl willing to touch my dong and we snuck off to the bathroom neither one of us knew what the heck we were doing after a few cursory minutes of clumsy foreplay she climbed on top and slipped it in when she went up I went with her and held on to her hips for dear life I kept that little sucker buried in her as deep as I could try as she might she was not getting that dong out she zigged she's act Isak Dan's act right with her I may as well have superglued my dong inside her it was a little awkward hooking up drunk with a girl while she's on her period forgetting to clean up in the post capital bliss and falling asleep leads to terrifying thoughts upon waking up the first time it happened it looked like I was turning into a zombie and the infection starting down there it alight for once you make a woman orgasm really well a surprising amount of them will let you do some pretty nasty crap to them and they'll enjoy it thoroughly as a lady I was definitely not expecting it to hurt as much the first few times I honestly was not prepared for that at all I thought it was going to be amazing right from the beginning that I'd enjoy getting her off more than getting myself off that leaving Gong juice on your dong overnight makes for an uncomfortable feeling in the morning they're doing it while on the period happens more than I thought it would you've been visited by the toothpaste man for good teeth and fresh breath comment of fresh if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 2,792,482

Rating: 4.9174519 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: DsVWGxDrBBk

Length: 10min 48sec (648 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 24 2019