What Made You NOPE the Hardest?

what made you nope the hardest in your life i kept noticing little black specks in my bed every morning i would wake up and find these tiny little specks of what looked like pieces of dirt they would be everywhere in my sheets under my pillow in my hair due to their frequency of appearance and uniform size it didn't take me long to realize that something was creating these which led me to conclude they could only be faces of some sort it was 2 am and i was drunk when i made this conclusion i tore everything in my room apart everything i pulled off all my sheets ripped open my mattress ripped open my box spring flipped my bed over dumped out my dresser but i couldn't find the source but amidst my rampage it hit me they were coming from above i followed the wall up and saw a thin but very long crack running along the seam between the sheetrock and the molding i pushed on the wall and what happened next is this note moment i can never forget thousands of pieces of crap poured out onto bed from what the exterminator said was a pretty decent sized roach nest in my ceiling i noped so hard the entire city could feel it tl dr roach nest above my bed crap rained down four weeks until i figured out what it was imagine how much of it you swallowed while sleeping on your back with your mouth open i was once looking after my dad's place while he and my stepmom went on a trip this included looking after my old dog he had just had an operation to relieve an abscess on his anus so he was shaved a bit with a small incision looked relatively fine after a few days of healing anyway parents took off for their trip and i was left with my dog about three days and i noticed the incision is starting to look not too good so i call the vet and he gives me some spray to use cool number not cool a few days after that practically overnight a canopy of congealed tissues of various sorts hair skin some blood etc had formed underneath there was a wriggling mass i knew what it was because it was the summer and i live in the country and it's impossible to escape the flies so i grabbed some small scissors literally cut away this gross canopy that had formed over the maggots and just did what i had to do started brushing them away and when i had cleared away most of them i rubbed vaseline on the affected area that suffocated the rest and they evacuated my dog by the next day it turned out fine my dog died a year later just of old age but that wriggling mass on my dog's butt is the biggest god damned nope in my life tl dr a fresh wriggling crop of maggots right beside a wound on my dog's butthole which i had to clean up vote for helping your dog out of said nope i played rugby for a number of years for a team and while scrimmaging i heard a loud crack when i located the noise our teammate had snapped both the tibia and fibula bones right in half his broken leg was flopping around like a fish out of water that was my nope moment a friend who used to wrestle said that this kid snapped his femur one time but was on his stomach and couldn't easily turn around to see what happened the coach had to sprint over to physically stop his head from looking at his legs so he wouldn't go into shock instantly friend's hand accidentally caught between door and frame as other friends slammed on it hard hand split open sore muscles blood splattered all over skin flapped nope the frick out of there story b nope the frick out of there a plus plus plus would read again about a hamster food boxes worth of moth lava crawling up my walls and on my floor i am going to have nightmares again tonight your system of measurement fascinates me my girlfriend gave me a bunch of potted plants to take care of while she was working out of town she has had most of the plants for quite some time and because of that they hold a certain sentimental value for her one morning after sitting down to breakfast i noticed a spider hanging out on the cactus she had placed on the kitchen table on any other day i would have flipped aborting all previous breakfast activities and beginning operation october purge for some unknown reason i decided to continue eating breakfast and observe the creature i had so often sought to destroy it honestly wasn't all that big or scary and seemed kind of funny looking in the way he was trying to find a comfy spot to sit without getting poked think dog spinning around on a pillow i sat reflecting my previous disposition as i observed this peaceful little creature who was just looking for a place where he fit kind of like me at that point i spoke out loud you know what spider bro maybe you're all right maybe i was wrong about you at that moment the spider leapt onto my upper lip i note the hardest i've ever noped in my entire life a note that matched the white hot hatred of a thousand burning suns i knocked the eight-legged deceiver off my face with one hand and proceeded to nope all around my apartment finally i returned to the kitchen to exact my revenge the spider had returned to the safety of the cactus while my initial reaction was to just toss the whole cactus i remembered my girlfriend and spent the next hour hanging out my window trying to shake a spider loose from his needly stronghold oh the things we do for love tl dr under the guise of a non-aggression pact a spider launched a covered operation against my face he just wanted a hug i had just gotten back from a few months working abroad and was staying at a town house my dad owns for a few days while i figured out my living and working situation nobody lives at the townhouse and he pretty much just used it for storage at that time and it's also right on the edge of town and pretty much borders the prairie so there are bugs everywhere all the time lots of bugs all the time means full and happy spiders all over the place anyway my first day back i'm enjoying my first shower with hot water and high pressure i've had in a while but when i get done i reach for the nearest towel hanging near the shower and a spider falls out of it i squeal a little bit before telling myself frickit at least it didn't touch you he's just hanging out doing his thing he ain't hassling you so i dry off and go on with my day next shower i'm not about to be spooked by any towel spiders so i grab the towel and give it a shake before touching it to my body yep spider's there again he loses his grip on the towel from my shake and lands directly i crap you not on the base of my penis my freakout is immense and i nearly slap my dong off from the furious brushes to remove the little guy from my favorite body part i'm not sure what happened to the spider but i know he was on my junk for a total of around 0.3 seconds although short it was definitely the hardest i've ever noped in my life i almost expected you to finish the last sentence with hardest i've ever been i work at a funeral home so i see a lot of dead bodies i've been around them long enough that it doesn't faze me at all when i see them until i went to the morgue to pick up a guy who committed suicide by taking a shotgun to his face there was a huge hole where his nose and mouth were and you could clearly see inside his head his bottom lip was still attached so it was a huge hole and a bottom lip one of his eyes was hanging slightly out of its socket but his eyelids were closed so it was sort of peeking out from under his eyelid it was by far the grossest body i've ever seen and i've seen hundreds and after i got a good look i ran the frick back into the car leaving the other guy to carry the body out himself a friend of mine and i were back parking out in the rockies everyone in the group we were in had gone to sleep and we were hanging out about 50 yards away from the tents as we're talking all of the sudden we start to hear a female voice start to sing just over this small little hill now understand we were in the middle of the wilderness and the only girl we had on our crew was asleep before all of us and i doubt you would ever sing it wasn't singing anything in particular just a basic chord up and down and up and down and up and down i would say it was about 10-15 yards away from us and we could hear it clear as day as i turned to him and asked to make sure i wasn't going crazy if he was hearing it too i tell him we should investigate he looks at me and says you know how horror movies start horror movies stopped by us looking for that noise you know how horror movies don't start by us going back to our tents and going to sleep and so we did the voice kept singing even after we left still don't know what that was your friend is good company to keep bravo on his part was hungry so i decided to make myself a sandwich with some lunch meat didn't really look at everything for too long i was starving just putting everything on the bread and adding cheese and condiments as fast as possible when to go sit down and took my first bite ha weird some thing tastes weird here yeah let's have a look at this sandwich black freaking mold covering one side of the bread facing inside the sandwich the bologna was spotted white the turkey was pasty and green splotched in some places i just took a bite out of a moldy freaking sandwich nope immediately puked no hesitation just all over the freaking plate i threw that crap out then took a shower while brushing my teeth and crying i went out and bought listerine and washed my mouth out about five times i threw that crap out then took a shower while brushing my teeth and crying you did the right thing found a little worm in a bag of almonds throughout the bag of almonds started finding little cocoon things and worms in all the nuts and dried fruits in my pantry freaked the frick out and threw it all into the fireplace nope weevils nasty suckers i lived in one place in texas where everything in the pantry needed to be in tupperware personal life my dad cut through his ashel's tendon with the hedgehog trimmer blood and bone quite visible on the ward i'm a medical student infected hematomas what can only be described as the biggest boils you have ever seen bad part one ruptured as i was examining around the knee yellow red fluid flowed down the patient's leg and splatter onto my shirt smelled like dead flesh mixed and vomit gagged nope education video live birth pretty nasty worst bit emergency episiotomy performed basically a large pair of surgical scissors used to cut a gash at the well gash blood poured out i countied three people leaving the lecture hall gagging edit seeing a popular post below then the placenta came out people forget about that crap and then little crap could be seen coming out my female friends with baby rabies were vaccinated against that day when i was in summer camp we would wait outside on stone benches for our parents to pick us up at the end of the day once while we were waiting a few of the councillors had driven up in the golf cart and parked it near where we were sitting the campers weren't allowed in the carts we were about ages 6 13 but these two girls decided to sit in the front seat it was all fine and dandy until one of them tripped and landed on the gas pedal cue one of them steering and the other one was still lying on the pedal well it turns out that eight years old can't steer for crap who knew and they swerved the cart right towards my bench and hit the girl sitting next to me more specifically the front of the card hit her knee all i heard was a thud in their near splitting screams i looked at this girl's leg and her kneecap was about halfway upper thigh i jumped the frick up and ran to the sidewalk lucky that my legs just got scraped up because the force of the impact moved the stone bench back about a foot all absorbed by this girl's kneecap she came back to camp a few weeks later in a wheelchair but i believe it was only temporary i just involuntarily rearranged my legs when i was in hs i went down into the basement to get my bike i reached for the light switch and touched something soft and furry instead of cold and plasticy whatever it was moved just before i lowered my finger to turn on the light i looked at the switch and just above it was a big shiny black widow spider nope why the frick am i reading all this spider crap before i get under my covers and go to bed my parents were american but i was born in amman jordan where my parents had evacuated to from beirut where they were working during the lebanese civil war against u.s government advice they decided to try and go back to lebanon but shortly after arriving were forced to evacuate again this time to cyprus i was somewhere around five at this point but this memory stuck with me rushing to catch our boot my mother was struggling whilst dragging a huge overstuffed suitcase that had to have weighed 70 plus lbs seeing how urgently we were rushing a kind stranger took over for her the memory of the details is a bit fuzzy as to exactly how it happened but one of those little plates that the caster wheels are mounted to had broken loose and it somehow fell onto this guy's kneecap and all but sliced it off i remember tons of blood and seeing the cartilage and all that white crap that's inside of a kneecap and the boat was leaving and my mom just kept sobbing about how sorry she was and we couldn't stop and we just left him there as men on the boat ramp think he was screaming and motioning at us to hurry up nope i then i got strapped onto a bench on the deck in my sesame street sleeping bag with luggage straps and went to sleep kind of makes the majority of these other posts seem like our first world problems our first world problems a friend of mine told me that one time when she was camping she started hearing a ringing buzzing sound coming from inside her ear and asked one of the other campers to look in her ear to see what was going on they were like it's probably nothing just leave it alone the buzzing and whining sound kept going though and was starting to hurt drive her crazy so she kept pestering them until finally one of them agreed to shine a light in her ear as he did the whining sound got louder and louder and she was pretty much screaming finally she felt something crawling out of her ear turned out a spider had scuttled inside her ear and gotten lost and it was only when it saw the light of the flashlight shining and that it knew which way to go out i know just from hearing the story second hand my mom had to have a roach vacuumed out of her ear the hospital thought she was crazy until they started pulling out bits and pieces of the roach i was only a baby when it happened but that story still makes me nope every time she brings it up walking into my apartment and finding a tarantula sitting on my floor looking up at me my rumored cat who normally loves to hunt spiders was even keeping her distance meowing nope true story i was living in a basement apartment in boston and it was a crap hole i had holes in my bedroom ceiling water leaking in from the upstairs shower and once i found an egg sack of some kind on the carpet but the worst thing happened a week or so after i had noticed my computer speakers were getting a little crackly i figured it was some wiring and i wasn't home much so i forgot about it so i'm at my desk trying to get my audio levels adjusted and done it everything is still sounding correctly so i reach behind the monitor to where the speaker cables are and kind of grope around trying to find the right cord i can't find it so i turn the monitor to the side so i can look behind it and i see a weird green object and i'm thinking what the frick is that so i look a little closer and i'm thinking why is it shiny and i look even closer and it's a goddamn methurfickin snake sitting on my desk coiled around my cables i note the hardest i ever have in my life ran out of my room and into the hallway a few minutes later the super comes by and asks if i had seen his boa constrictor mother haha that's actually kind of awesome i worked in the i.t department of a larger hospital for about two years and every so often the hr department would have required classes which were supposed to teach us how to deal with a unique experience working at a hospital the topics were almost always geared towards the medical side of the business and i can never forget a story one of the hr folks told us about his early years at the hospital as a nurse in the air the day he was on they got a call that a young girl involved in a boating accident was coming in with severe trauma with her father who was unharmed the girl gets there and the paramedics describe that this girl her sister and her father were getting ready to go boating for a day and were loading up the boat the two sisters were on the back of the boat when the father somehow dropped the boat into reverse and the two girls fell over the back of the boat directly into the prop the one sister had her head cut off and the other was essentially disemboweled but was still alive when the girl and the father arrived this guy was tasked with talking to the father in a private room as the doctors took the girl into surgery to try save her life which he told us she died he sat down with his father whose entire life had just been destroyed and could not help but just start crying with the father he went on to tell us that he should have held his composure and helped the father through the terrible experience and that it was our duty to face the daily experience of dealing with grief-stricken family members better than he did at which point i am in nope tears just wanting to fix the goddamned computers even being the i.t department i knew what was going on directly above my head in the air and quit that job about two weeks later my dad and i moved into a new house when i was about 17 and since we were the only two men helping with the move naturally we were forced to carry all the heavy and awkward stuff anyway i'm helping him move his mattress out to the truck when for the first time i looked at the side he slept on there were stains everywhere i dropped my end of the mattress and jump to the side and since my dad lost his grip on the other end it fell hitting me in the face with a stain that just smelled funky nope earlier that year i was hanging out with my cousin in some backwater town in the middle of rural alberta her friends and i are sought aboard so get the great idea to get high and go explore some abandoned farm houses i passed out in one of the buildings and when i woke up i was alone as my vision adjusted i saw cracks in the walls and floors bloody meat hooks hanging from the ceiling and a bloody wooden table laying on its side right next to me i had blacked out in the basement of a butcher shop nope pictures of a brutal bush axe murder brought into my work crime happened a couple of decades ago at least four victims ranging in age three children the youngest in infant and the mother all of the evidence photos were taken on slide film which has quickly become an antiquated technology it took a long time to get the suspect and now convicted killer and pd had since gotten rid of their old photo equipment we however did have the equipment 150 unique 8x10 glossies that morbid curiosity forced me to look at while they printed there were pictures of the bodies as they lay at the crime scene then shots from the morgue i would have to say that the photos from the crime scene were more bearable because the amount of blood made the sheer number of wounds less apparent once they were in the morgue and everything was cleaned off you could see gashes where the bush axe had cleaved through skull and exposed brain also the mother and infant's eyes were glazed over with a milky blue film you couldn't see the whites or the irises or pupils just this weird milky blue but seeing pictures of the killer at trial totally devoid of emotion was a strong reminder that evil walks the earth as man horrifying i've since become a father and thinking about it makes me shake with anger sadness and disgust it was after school in first grade and i was eating crackers unbeknownst to me the box had been left on our screen porch overnight it was mostly empty and as i scoop up the last handful mostly of crumbs i see something move in it turned out a ton of earwigs had moved into the box overnight and i'd been eating them alive looking in the box they were all over the bottom the crackers were white cheddar cheez-its which i still to this day 10 years later cannot eat without gagging oh dear god me too white cheddar cheese it's as well but for me it was ants dear god it was ants so it turns out when it's cold spiders like to hide in your air conditioning in your car a few weeks ago when it really started to get cold i turned on the heat for the first time in a few months immediately three spiders were crawling on the inside of my windshield several nopes were heard when i pulled over the car and nearly killed everyone in the car i ran several meters away from the car and left my passengers to fend for their own lives i have this itchy feeling now my biggest fear while driving is that there will be a spider in my car i know that if i see one i would freak the frick out and wreck my car i'm impressed that you didn't crash woke up in the middle of the night once because a cockroach was underneath my night shirt and was crawling around knocking open open up an oak it was a humid summer day so we smartly decided to get stoned in the woods we did the deed and then began officially making our way back to the trail we were hiking along joking around and generally having a good time when a fallen tree impeded my path i started to step over the tree when at the last possible second i looked down and made eye contact with the long dead heavily decayed deer my foot was about to enter i don't know if it was the half missing face the writhing maggots in the eye socket or the fly infested black hole eating away the torso but my body forcibly noped the frick away from that horror i pulled off an adrenaline fueled mid-step 180 spin move that saved me from even worse nightmares easily the most athletic thing i've ever done childbirth miss two of my three kids births because the army is the suck it's cool though because congress plans to cut trick because soldiers do not make enough money to bribe congress lobby against it wtf just happened anyways the one i did see was terrible i stuck by her shoulder most of the time just derping away then i got this silly idea to lean forward and take a look-see just imagine your favorite place in the world turning into a bloody mess as a giant blood-coated thing with chunks of wtf obliterates it oh and do not forget the placenta my wife's doctor just casually yanked it out by the umbilical cord it looks like a small intestine attached to an undercooked steak that was left out for a few days the poop too yes there was poop as well jumping spider not even that bad but i still nope about it found it on my bathmat sucker was at least four inches wide camouflaged against the dark red carpet stuff it moved fast and i ran out of the bathroom equipped big jacket collar popped equipped gloves jacket tucked equipped pants jacket tucked equipped boots pants tucked equipped big flat stomping mop i spent the next 20 minutes just trying to find the sucker who moved from the bathroom eventually cornered him with a mop bucket and unleashed my final assault jump jump jumpy seemed to say no no no stomped the mop at last a critical hit i put pressure on the mop until i could be reasonably satisfied it would stay dead and i took the shakiest shower i ever had i ended up 20 minutes late for work my boss accepted my excuse had to kill a spider i was working on a painting crew for the summer and i was charged with sanding the side of the house i knelt down to start when a grate just randomly fell about five feet away from me not 10 seconds i assume the portal to heck ripped open underneath that house because a horde of spiders came skittering out i threw down the sandpaper and didn't come back for 20 minutes when i was a teenager my mom and dad were installing some glass panels into a couple of curio cabinets they had just purchased my sister and i were in another room when we heard a loud shout followed by a lot of cursing i ran downstairs to find my dad holding his nose blood streaming down his face apparently one of the glass panels had slipped and hit him in the face it also sheared off a large chunk of skin from his nose which was laying on the floor the chunk of skin not his nose nope after i found out my girlfriend was lying to me about her age she was significantly younger than i thought she was she asked me to kill her parents nope nope nope i removed all trace of her from my life and made sure to have a constant alibi for the next several weeks my senior year i was a car hopper at sonic i lived in central ca then it all used to be rural orange groves and crap but when the housing market was going crazy they bought all the land and started building anyways so at the end of the night we cleaned the place this chick was cleaning the tea maker and was looking at a hollow bottom and found a spider web with a dead black widow she's about to stick her hand in when i'm like b please you crazy she claims it must be dead it would have moved by now so i blew on it it made a mad scramble in the direction of my face and i know be the frick out of there on my roller skates if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 38,609

Rating: 4.9055648 out of 5

Keywords: nope, nope sound sound effect, nope yup, nope rope, nope meme, nope or dope, nope out of there, nope out, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: n6v6WasT05I

Length: 26min 53sec (1613 seconds)

Published: Tue May 11 2021