How to Confuse Employees

what have you done as a customer that is so unexpected the employee doesn't know what to do i walked into a theater with a large mcdonald's beverage and was told it wasn't permitted i replied no it's okay and the guy accepted that and walked away imagine if that was just a secret passcode to go anywhere all you had to say was no it's okay this is in the olden days when we went to actually went to locations to rent movies on physical media i was in a hollywood video and i plopped my movies on the counter along with my blockbuster card sir that's a blockbuster card coma oh i know just hit slash and scan it it won't work comma sure it will hit slash first then scan it with different companies this is hollywood video blockbusters across the street we don't share the same computer system records whatever i won't be able to pull up your information from blockbuster's don't worry about that just hit the slash button and scan the card i promise it won't work comma hit slash and scan it look i'll prove it scans card computer beeps approvingly however i paid for my movies and left probably making the troll face i didn't walk into the situation trying to troll anybody but i didn't feel like explaining myself what the guy behind the counter didn't know was that i worked for hollywood video at the time at another location hollywood's cards were all pre-printed barcodes like 1234 567 890. where the numbers were you account number and the slash told the computer it was an account number anytime you lost a card you got a new account number you'd simply scan the new card and reassign the account to that number the catch was that anything worked as long as it didn't duplicate another account somewhere else in the local system and you could then pull it up at other stores as long as it didn't duplicate anything in the region or whatever basically you could reassign your account to be your name your phone number anything with a barcode or mac strip worked as long as you hit slash first our employee accounts where we got free movies and such were all first name and consequently couldn't transfer to other stores so if we were out of town and wanted to rent a movie we'd have to create a new account most of us did this ahead of time and the people who knew the trick changed theirs to all kinds of stuff i picked my blockbuster card so i'd have one card for one purpose this really mess with people who didn't know that anything worked fantastic system and social hack when i order something where i am supposed to leave my name and they'll call me up when it's ready i put my name down as that really sexy guy it freaks them out every time especially if the cashier is male it would be funny if you put down that really ugly guy and pretended to be all pee at them awkward penguin's worst nightmare i'm a grocery store cashier so i'm on the other end here once a woman's water broke while she was in line at my register she already had two kids and i guess she thought she could make it until she got back home before the olay mucus plug fell she still made me ring up her order i don't think i've ever rung up stuff that fast i used to work at walmart as an unloader and when i quit after 1.5 years i still went to that store even though it wasn't the closest one to me because they were cool people there i just couldn't deal with the 40 hours a week but not being officially full time as they said so i had no benefits or anything about three months after i quit i saw a new unloader probably took my spot moving a pallet of juice from the back room to the cooler and he was having an issue with the turn i told him to move and did it for him and then showed him how to put it properly into the lineup for the dairy people to get it sorted in the cooler he was in awe as he didn't know i used to work there and he get thanking me as it was his first week without a mentor and he was still learning he was about to get in trouble for having a customer do it until the manager of receiving saw me and explained to him he was still so appreciative and it actually felt good to make a walmart employee feel good since the company itself never does that in my experience a very similar thing happened to me a couple of days after my birthday i drunkenly stumbled into a takeaway with a friend that was on our way home i had no cash on me and the takeaway didn't have a card machine at that time so i promised that if they made our order and the delivery guy took us home we'd stop by the cash machine that's around the corner from my house and pay them then they let us very good of them and is the reason i still go there when i'm drunk he probably did it assuming you'll give him a good tip i got dragged to see this promotional presentation for a timeshare resort because my so thought we had won a free vacation i was listening to the guy's presentation and mentally adding it all up in a mental spreadsheet i had going i realized he was out and out lying about the costs i asked a question that he could not understand so i said let me show you on the whiteboard i wrote out my tabulation about the real costs versus what they claimed people would be signing for and the difference was almost 50 percent everyone got up and left in about two minutes and the sales guys were just staring with a wtf look on their faces i always wanted to do something like this but i feared that my information would be wrong and i would look like the stupidest person in the room this happened to me when i was at work last month i had a table i'm a waitress it was three couples and three children one of the couples had a young child who was no older than a year or so and the other two kids were about four or five the four and five year old were getting pretty antsy which is when i realized that the hosts had forgotten the coloring books for the kids so i happily skip to the front get the crayons and books and go to deliver the goods to the table when i get there i excitedly give the older kids their book and crayons i had brought one extra set for the little one just in case the mom were to want him to color too so i says would you like this extra one for the little guy to which he responds nope this is vomit and places a mound of vomit covered napkins directly into my hands with zero warning i stand there for a minute what the freak this woman just plopped a bunch of vomit in my hands colder let me get gloves lady after i recover from the shock i spend the next 20 minutes just pee off on my hands and knees scrubbing what's left of the vomit off the floor and table and they didn't even leave a good tip animals i wasn't the customer here but i was once at work in an opticians on a nice seemingly normal quiet day when a guy bustles in with two carrier bags he slammed them down on the front desk and proceeds to grab handfuls of money out of them they are both completely full of banknotes he declared that he wanted to buy some specs but that he had busy things to do and when we told him we could have him tested and out of the door with the specs within an hour he shouted i have busy things to do rammed his fistfuls of cash back into the bags and walked back out okay i used to work at a fry joint at the mall new york fries best poutine in life one morning i was working alone when this japanese couple and their teenage daughter bought some fries then asked me if they could take pictures of me making the fries so i posed for about 10 shots of me making the fries dressing them etc it was hilariously awkward especially since i could tell their daughter was dying of embarrassment we went to a grand opening of a sonic when visiting my mom and apparently everything was free we'd plan to pay so we just gave the server the cash her eyes went as big as saucers and she lost the ability to speak it was really sweet to see how much it meant to her i'm nice to people seriously it freaks them out especially public employees like mail and court clerks back when i use both the post office and the circuit court office a lot i got tons of special treatment simply because i was always nice to the people there the post office used to wave me to the head of the line note this didn't slow anyone else down as i was so used to what i did that i could do everything myself and at the clerk's office they would stay late off the clock if i ask them to the attorneys i worked for thought i was a miracle worker when i'd save their asses with late filings i heard a story on reddit about a guy who just walked into a movie theater and took a huge cardboard cut out of the biebs right out of the lobby walked right out the front doors with it apparently it was a gift for his niece i can't imagine what anyone watching that would have been thinking at that point reverse situation but i'm a cashier and whenever i ring up kids i say with the straightest face possible that'll be a billion dollars or some other random and obscene amount of money confuses terrifies them parents always laugh though the ultimate revenge for giblet heads who chuckle and say well it isn't ringing up guess it's free her hahaha towards the end of the year in high school i had to get some form signed by a couple teachers of course as i was walking around looking for them the fire alarm went off a security guard approached me and told me i needed to leave because of the fire alarm i replied it's okay i'm with the fire department he let me go apparently my jeans and a t-shirt looked a lot like bunker gear i once returned to an old place of work that was down the street from my house there was a person working i had never met before but she'd obviously been working there a while since she was working by herself it was a gas station i picked up a few things walked over to the register like normal then i started hinting at things that a normal customer shouldn't know i made a comment about seeing a tree underground there they stored the christmas tree in the basement i said i saw a chicken in the dark we had a rubber chicken as a joke that was kept in the storage above the cigarette cases and then after a moment of silence while my card was being charged i left without a word i went back the next week and talked to an old co-worker about it apparently the girl thought i was a psychic trolling accomplished what's funny is how often people jump to the supernatural conclusion rather than the obvious and no this is not a thinly veiled attempt to disparage religion one day i decided to go to a restaurant alone it was a place i had wanted to go for a long time but my friends were busy so i decided to just go by myself everything went all right at first i was seated ordered my drink and ordered my food all within a few minutes then i waited and waited and waited two hours passed i had brought a book and my mp3 players so i wasn't bored but i was beginning to wonder if i should talk to my waitress she looked really busy though so i decided to wait until she went over and talked to me herself another half an hour passed i think there was a shift change because a new waitress came over to me hello honey how are you want another refill this was actually my first refill i had been nursing that now flat soda for hours oh i'm fine and sure top me off can i ask how my food is coming along though imagine that last part said in the most sheepish i'm so sorry i'm being a pain voice imaginable of course honey what did you order how long have you been waiting um not that long i ordered the ranch burger she goes off to check on my meal a guy who had been sitting at a table near me and was about to check out gave me a look you've been sitting there for an hour at least two hours actually it's fine i had nowhere else to be tonight he didn't reply i think the sheer magnitude of my spinelessness had left him speechless the waitress comes back i'm so sorry honey but it looks like they didn't put your order in have you been waiting long oh not that long the waitress saw right through me oh dear i'll go talk to the manager i'll see if i can make your meal free i told her how exactly i wanted my burger and then she left again the manager came to my table and after a minor grilling i confessed that i had been waiting for hours the manager was extremely apologetic and threw on a few gift cards along with a free meal for the rest of the night whenever he passed my table he would give me a look as if trying to figure out what kind of person would be willing to wait hours for a burger and that's why i don't eat alone two hours passed i was beginning to wonder if i should talk to my waitress ro i was at boston's pizza with a group of friends and they were drinking but all i wanted was a soda and an ice cream sundae so i put in my order and i get my soda just fine but no sunday so i wait a bit no big rush we're having a good time and i finally turn to the bartender and ask about my sunday and he very promptly apologizes and offers to go check a little while longer and i still don't have a sunday and i ask him again i'm having a good time still getting soda while my friends are having a good time and he comes back and sadly informs me that they are out of hot fudge and cannot make my sunday but will gladly make me anything else i want i told him it was fine i'm completely not mad having a great time with my friends and that i had already eaten and was just hanging out and didn't want anything else so he offers the next time i come into order the sunday and give the server his name and the sunday will be on him i pause for a second look a little skeptically at him and finally say shouldn't the sunday come in a bowl he stares at me for a second turns on his heel and walks away edit thought of another one i've never been a big drinker but i used to like going out with my friends and i was always good to be the designated driver so we'd go out to bars i'd think for a minute and order a scotch and vodka just to see the reaction on the server's face i only had one guy who wasn't surprised and i double tipped him that first one is freaking hilarious he probably didn't get it in the heat of the moment so i once broke both my arms in a motorcycle crash not major brakes one forearm bone each docks of course put both in casts the fiberglass kind which is important to the story well when you live alone with two broken arms it's kind of a pain for starters the whole wipe your bust thing or showers well after a day or two i said okay heck with this and took out my dremel tool i cut channels down the inside face of each cast and removed them i then pulled out the original padding leaving just the shells i wrapped each arm in ace bandages put the casts on over that then wrapped cast and all with ace bandages worked great once wrapped they were just as good as original but i could take him off to shower or whatever and before you lot ask fapping was still out of the question so six weeks or so later it's time to take the casts off go into the dock unwrap remove he was speechless i thought you were about to wipe your butt with a dremel tool went into an american eagle today to remind myself how fat i am one of the clerk said something like are you finding your jeans this was maybe the fourth store i'd been to so i was sort of expecting a do you need any help finding anything nope so i responded to her with no i'm all right thanks and she just goes what this went on for about a minute both of us trying to figure out how the frick conversations work again got home from the grocery store was looking over the receipt and noticed i hadn't been charged for the 12-pack of soda i had purchased went back to the store walked to customer service and told them what had happened the two people looked at each other with shock then back at me like i was an alien and said thanks for coming back as our gift your soda's on the house i am honest by default too and a few separate times now i've been at a bar and they've left one of the drinks off each time i tell them about it they are very confused for a few moments while they try to get their bearings it'll be buried but might as well practice storytelling i was driving home from a dealer's house and stopped at a petrol station to get some gas now you know the way some stations have an entry and an exit door so there is a smooth flow through the shop this one didn't so i walk in paid for my petrol lady handed me back change and then i just stood there i just stood there it's as if my mind couldn't process the next step i just looked around the place searching for the exit door for like 30 seconds and then managed to ask the woman at the counter how do i get out of here she just looked at me and smirked a little assuming it was some sort of joke then that expression slowly turned to what the frick is wrong with this man why did he just go full she just pointed behind me to the door i came through and i managed to awkwardly mumble something like haha yeah cause like there's usually like different doors and leave the shop my friend in the car saw the whole thing and was in tears looked back into the shop as we were leaving and the woman was wt faying hard at the fact i was driving the car i read this it wasn't buried you were wrong i bought a laptop a year ago which turned out to have the wrong machine inside the box same brand the different color keyboard processor and graphics so very much the wrong machine it was obviously a mistake at the packaging plant but the problem was that the laptop had a different serial number than the one written on the box me i need to return this laptop sales guy why me it's the wrong model in the box sales guy i can't do a return if the serial numbers don't match me but i'm returning it because the serial numbers don't match sales guy sales guy let me go get my manager i eventually got it sorted out but it was a bit of a pain and all the employees were very confused as to what to do you're lucky that the merchant accepted the return exchange in most cases it's really your responsibility to verify the contents of the package before you leave the premises sounds lame but from the business side it's almost impossible to protect yourself otherwise i work at the front counter at a store and people often come in with trash they need thrown away i have a trash can below the counter so i don't mind taking it but a customer with three small children came in once and before i had a chance to see what he was holding placed a used cloth diaper in my hands to pitch i was pretty speechless but the guy had already walked into the store so i just threw it away and tried to ignore the smell the guy left and a few hours passed when i got paged for a call it was the diaper man asking if i could dig the diaper out of the trash and hold it at the front counter for him because cloth diapers are apparently very expensive nowadays i told him i would be more than happy to let him rummage through the trash for it but i wouldn't do it myself for his genic reasons got another call few minutes later from the guy saying he couldn't make it today so could i hold the trash bag for him for the next day i explained that trash is taken out every night and he could check the dumpster if it was that important or he asked me to lay it on the top of the dumpster in a marked bag i'm not kidding this guy came after we closed and pulled his child's used diaper from a dumpster he most likely was scolded by his wife for tossing a cloth diaper she was glaring at him with unforgiving eyes on the other side of the phone not sure if i exactly count as a customer in this scenario but full disclosures post reminded me of this incident last summer two days after moving into my new apartment in late summer i was lying around reading a book naked i lived alone then there was a knock at the door i didn't have a peep hole and thought it might be the landlord since i just moved in so i grabbed a blanket cracked the door open and peered out pidgey on panic yeah nicely dressed man may i talk to you for a minute i have a few survey questions for pidgey on panic yeah sure just let me get dressed okay nicely dressed man uh i got dressed and returned to the door and the now flustered nicely dressed man proceeded to ask me survey questions during which it became evident that he was employed by a religious organization after i answered only two or three he thanked me and fled from my building man if i lived alone i would do everything naked except make bacon that crap messes you up i'm quite tall so about once or twice a year cashiers call me so without really looking at me i do have long hair and a feminine shape so be female i guess as a former cashier it's not that we think you're male it's that we're just on autopilot and our brains are off from the employee side once i was working the drive through at chick-fil-a and a customer handed me his payment for his order and said here you go gorge eiffel he got so embarrassed that he drove off before i could give him his food or his change i had no idea what to do so i tried going out into the parking lot to see if he was just hiding out but he completely bailed it was cute though not really a customer but one of those scam calls saying that i had a virus on my computer lol and all i did was say yes to every question he got confused and just hung up i just started laughing said i wasn't a 90 year old woman and told him to frick off now i regret not wasting his time playing along for 20 minutes instead como i continue to wait for another one of those calls i was at a restaurant with my family food came french fries were rank i walked into the kitchen looked at the deep fryers and asked the cook when the last time the oil was changed he had no idea in went back to the dining area and announced this to wall with an ear shot wait staff was speechless if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 24,335

Rating: 4.9462366 out of 5

Keywords: confuse, confused meme, confused, confuse them with your silence, confuse employees, how to confuse, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: 3OSKH4qMAR0

Length: 23min 38sec (1418 seconds)

Published: Tue May 11 2021