What It’s Like Being Married to Neil deGrasse Tyson - Key & Peele

(woman) Neil? Neil! Yes, honey? Neil deGrasse Tyson, I asked you to take the dog out for a walk when I left the house four hours ago. Now I come back, and this little mother[bleep] Sputnik has done pissed on my drapes. Now I've got to get rid of those things and get new ones. Neil, it doesn't make any sense. You are an astrophysicist. How can you not keep track of little details like this? Well, actually, it's the little details that cannot be kept track of, by definition. In 1927, a German university lecturer named Werner Heisenberg came to a seemingly paradoxical conclusion, that the more we know about the position of a particle in physical space, the less we know about its momentum, and vice versa. Okay, but what-- what does that have to do-- Taken in conjunction with what we know about the expansion of the universe, this brings us to a fascinating possibility, that maybe what we experience as one point in time-space could actually be a legion of points, which would mean that your curtains and little Sputnik's pee-pee could be as distant from one another as we are from the furthest galaxy. Okay. Well, just... next time. Of course, dear. (woman) Neil! There you are. What are you doing? We have to go to my Aunt Nelly's funeral. How are you not ready? I've been talking to you about this all week. How am I gonna find you in your boxers looking in a science magazine? [sighs] I swear, Neil, sometimes I think you don't have any idea of what's important. Well...actually... an idea of what's important is as close as we can ever come to any definition of importance. Our galaxy is one of over 100 billion in the observable universe, and it's 100,000 light-years across, which means it would take light 100,000 years to traverse. Okay, but-- But that's just space. If we were to chart the history of the universe on one calendar year, the history of mankind as we know it, would just take place in the final second of that year. So, whether I'm ready now or in 500 years, well, cosmically speaking, the distinction is meaningless. Well...okay. I'm--I'm going now. Good-bye, honey.

Channel: Key & Peele

Views: 9,155,966

Keywords: Key & Peele, Key and Peele, Jordan Peele, Keegan-Michael Key, keey & peele, Key & Peele full episodes, key and peele show, kay and peele, sketch comedy, funny, funny video, comedy videos, funny jokes, funny clips, Get Out, Us, Jordan Peele Get Out, Jordan Peele Us, Key & Peele sketch, Key and Peele comedy, Jordan Peele stand up, Keegan-Michael Key stand up, comedy central, comedy, skit, sketch, joke, high school, substitute teacher, a a ron, sketches, compilation

Id: TyZSBqQ813c

Length: 4min 27sec (267 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 23 2021