What is the most pp hardiest thing you've ever done? - (r/AskReddit)

our slash ass credit NSFW what's the horniest thing you've ever done drove an hour in to see a girl I had previously made up with because she said she needed a duck buddy for the night he got to her place around 9:00 hung out with her and her roommate for a little bit then went to the bedroom she totally shut down my attempts to initiate anything physical and said it was just the alcohol talking earlier in that she was not DTF at all so we just cuddled for a bit and fell asleep at 3:00 a.m. she wakes up and runs out of the room I'm like okay WTF and then go back to sleep next thing I know she turns on the lights and tells me to get out had a very long drive and total confusion back to my place got home at 4:30 a.m. virginity still 100% intact I made a woman out of clothes and a Styrofoam head and made out with her it's SNH I was 12 my mom went shopping at JCPenney and I was waiting in the car I was about 13 and I was horny ASF she had some tissues in the car and I jerked off into them I didn't want a litter so I just put them in my pocket till I got home back in high school one time I jerked off 11 times in one day between 6:00 a.m. and 1:00 a.m. my dog was in so much pain and I couldn't move for a day also don't do that doctor couch this is a riposte I went to a woman's house late at night in rural upstate NY we had been talking to each other via email at a time about 1997 we met via Yahoo Personals neither of us knew what the other looked like not everyone had a scanned picture I went over at 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night I didn't have a roommate at the time I went into a completely dark house located in the woods and had sex with a woman whom I had known for a couple of weeks with just several phone calls between us when the morning came we were both attracted to each other we ended up dating for almost a year it worked out but seriously it was stupid thing to do running to a convenience store at 3 a.m. with a guy I just met to buy condoms and two bottles of Gatorade so we could do it on an air mattress in the living room of my sister's house at 3 a.m. cycled for four hours to get to a woman's home in India who had matched with me on tinder the chat got very heated quickly and she wanted to duck a white guy the reason I cycled was because I was on around the world bike trip amazingly it was completely legit and we pretty much had sex on and off for 24 hours and we were having sex within 10 minutes of seeing each other for the first time I cannot describe how horny I was getting messages from her as I got closer and closer to her home drove three hours to duck a random girl I added on snapchat never met her in person until I drove to duck her it was awkward until my dong was inside her edit spelling jacked off in the ocean I was on holiday with my mom and we were sharing a room I took a late evening dip and was curious to see if I could jack off while my down with underwater but since I hadn't done it for the past week i nutted pretty quickly then just kind of swam around for a bit jerked off in every room in the house in one day my husband and my first date lasted three days the only time we went outside was to get more condoms and some Gatorade and snacks from around the corner it took us a week to have a real date because we'd end up just jumping in bed and would never even make it out the door my college roommate ended up being a week late to orientation in that week I met and got the Skype details of an online DOM and she had me edge a whole night and only finished by wrapping a lanyard tightly around myself and finishing to her rubbing grapes on her nipples probably jerked off in the backseat while on a family road trip not my proudest moment was 12 or 13 and just discovered masturbation about a week before 19 um he wanted to duck so badly that after going out with this really great girl I convinced her we should park on a less visible side road to talk turns out less visible roads of less visible ditches on the sides and there goes my car into the ditch now we are stranded in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere she takes her shoes off and tells me to go outside and push and hops in the driver seat and so I did I didn't push eight years later I'm still pushing whatever she tells me to I went to go meet a girl on her last night before she moved to a different state so she could suck my dong she really really wanted to for some reason I'm parked at her apartment waiting for her to come into my car as I'm waiting she asks for a pic of my hard dawg so I jack off a little to get hard and I end up coming in like ten seconds so I turn my phone off and drive home before she ever gets to my car I was so ashamed lol this is ducking hilarious when I was about 15 I got an erection so intense that I was screaming in pain this was before I figured out was masturbation was so I had no way to relieve the pressure came up with the bright idea of using IcyHot to enhance my jerk session I was 13 don't recommend jerked off in my middle-school bathroom and before you sick ass say anything I was in middle school at the time oh I also found a box off playboy stashed in a bathroom closet at a storage building label the center folds out and went to town in high school I was in band and I played the saxophone anyway one night I was super horny and my porno magazines were not at home at the time as all as my friend borrow them this was a time before phone so I couldn't go online and get some hardcore porn straight away long story short I stuck my tongue in the saxophone and rode it jerked off into a random dirty Cup I found in a parking lot was sexting a girl and got too turned on to make it home parked on the lot found some litter and busting it one time I was really horny so I asked my wife if we could have sex she said yes total win no regrets my ex was getting a little handsy under the covers with my tackle while we were watching TV at her parents place her parents are in the kitchen and wouldn't you know it some of their family friends showed up while somehow nobody noticed they left and her parents went to bed while we watched Polar Express my finger banged her while her parents were sleeping on the other side of the wall about 30 feet away whacked off to a CVS weekly ad masturbated with the Halloween monster glove I enjoyed the hell out of it but lost those gloves he did the Monster Mash edged for six hours in one sitting a girl who I never thought in a million years worth wanted invited me to dinner at her home with her parents we were in high school at a time diff schools and had been talking dating but nothing more than kissing at the time I had no car so she picked me up and she lived in a straight-up mansion her father who I thought was a lawyer apparently did something for the government I was clearly dating up as far as social standards go dinner went well parents loved Demi I was riding high when they asked if I'd mind staying and watching a movie with them mom dad had one couch and me date had other I'm on my best behavior when date laser had on my leg lab goddammit it's dark other than the movie date grabs a couch pillow and somewhat puts it on my lap but mostly blocks her parents view of her head my area you can guess what she was going for but I kept trying to play a coolant blocker I felt it was so obvious and I wanted her parents to keep liking me and not try to kill me and chase me out of their house and all that well once I got a little excited I didn't seem to care as much all I did was focus on not moving and keeping my face as normal as possible I don't remember what the hell movie we were watching but her parents must have been duckin captivated to that or they were the weirdest most polite parents I'd ever met I gave the three courteous 10-second warning taps and she made no other notion of acknowledgment other than squeeze my leg idk how my eyes didn't roll to the back of my head let alone off my face she zipped my pants back up laid back down as if nothing had happened I felt like I was watching someone else's life play out but it was me since it was late dad offered to take me home I got nervous and kissed my date on the cheek as we left dad let me drive his brand-new Cadillac all the while telling me he was so glad his daughter found such a nice young man I felt a twinge of guilt but overall like I had just gotten away with some kind of bank robbery one time I drank Gatorade one time when I went to church I excused myself to the bathroom and went used the fastest hand in the Wild West so I could not and get back in a few minutes wrote a fanfic between me and Freddy Krueger use a rubber glove and a roll of toilet paper put the rubber glove inside the roll put lubricant and use it as a flashlight edit I forgot to mention we used mechanic's gloves premarital hand holding made an apple pie and sipped tea while wearing an oversized cardigan and reading about Norman Rockwell fat with friends in a cemetery offered a girl a $90 cab ride to my place she declined me but it worked out I married her 10 years ago she was well worth the wait truthfully and yes she knows she was supossed oh be a booty call but that booty so good I married her I was at my grandparents house sharing a room with my sibling and all the four other bedrooms were full of sleeping family members I was so horny I went into the bathroom to be quiet about it thing about girls is super horny equals super wet equals can't feel friction + [ __ ] is so sensitive it's in overload equals no orgasm was a very frustrated swamp dry humping while making out at the back of my school 11:30 p.m. sexted with a friend where there was a mutual interest then we had our first kiss couple days later during a game of truth or dare we were in our early twenties but our friend group was dorky F then duck for the first time the next day we wound up being fw bees for nearly two years masturbated in the same room as family i jacked off two TV commercials just to see if i could they weren't even sexual or hot in the slightest but I still busted enough before my show came back on honestly speaking getting hard by reading these comments is the most horniest thing I've ever done I lost my virginity in the dormitory kitchen at 3 a.m. we didn't have any other place to do it cuz my room mates were sleeping in my room the kitchen is shared by the entire floor 80 students on each floor and we were butt-naked with clothes thrown all over the kitchen but thanks God nobody wanted any midnight snack went on a road trip with my family once when I was like 12 or 13 my parents are in the front my brother and sister are sitting in the middle seat of our mid-sized SUV and I'm in the back each of the kids takes a turn getting the back row to themselves to stretch out a little until the next pee gas snacks break so naturally during my nap time in the back I jerked off under a blanket with zero material and just [ __ ] into my underwear and sat in it like the filthy animal I was I once ejected to VeggieTales lamay oh my parents weren't home all day and I was expecting my period I jerked off 32 times before I lost count I think the horniest I've ever been was when I was convinced by FWB to pop some speed and vidura she was limping for a few days as a result this wasn't me but I was on the receiving end of this horniness a guy I went to high school with drove 2.5 hours across the state for me to duck him in my dorm I offered to let him spend the night but he thought it it'd be weird to spend the night with a guy apparently the sex was no problem though he immediately turned around and made the drive back home when I was 19 I had a huge crush on a friend of my brother's we were all hanging out at my brother's house one night bro goes to bed and I realized his friend was into me too so we made out and talked for hours and agreed it was a good thing that we were at my brother's house and wouldn't be able to hook up so we could just get to know each other better and not move too fast a few minutes later I looked at him and said or we could just have sex in my car drove around the corner at 3:00 a.m. to a dirt parking lot and ducked in the backseat turned into a two-year relationship though ah memories in high school me and a guy jerked each other off in the bathroom also found out how I was bisexual to combat my post period horniness I Tod drawing one NSFW image I filled up a whole 100 page sketchbook in a day and a half laying on the couch watching TV the thought of this girl I talked earlier and the day came into my head in particular hurry around I started playing with myself under the blanket with my dad in the next room over and no closed doors in between humph my schoolbag when I was 14 or something I was too horny cuz I saw this beautiful lady in my aunt's neighborhood she probably noticed the little soldier standing Kal she always gave me this weird but not affirming smile whenever we came across each other fingered a girl while two of her friends were laying in the bed below it was a loft bed one of them in a call with her brother also with the same girl I was sexting while sitting in the bath while in sweatpants and had a really hard time hiding my boner shivers while coming and coming three times in a row without stopping I'm a guy about 16 years ago I had just gone through a really bad breakup you know the kind way you still duck for a few months afterwards and neither of you feel good about it my ex went to see her sister for a weekend and I offered to dog-sit for her went out to a bar with friends that night and met a really cute girl she wanted to go back to her place but it was about an hour away and I had the dog to think about so I invited her to my ex-girlfriends house and we spent the next 24 hours or so ducking in my ex's bed a few years later I married that girl from the bar worked out pretty well jerked off 20-plus times in a day turns out coming too much in a short period of time can give you a splitting headache too that time I had sex with this guy like 30 times in four days whoa you made it to the end you're ducking beasts I'll cut you a deal smash like and subscribe for more curated content brug it's free and that's a great price

Channel: Sir Reddit

Views: 687,623

Rating: 4.9355097 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, emkay, ToadFilms, sir reddit, doctor reddit, reddit and chill, giofilms

Id: aS5Qt8V5QJE

Length: 15min 4sec (904 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 16 2020