How I got into Harvard Residency after 140 Rejections

so if you're someone who says i don't know if this is going to work therefore i'm not going to do it you are correct it may not work but it is because it may not work that is why you should do it because it's never going to work until you keep trying so hard work doesn't matter only results matter for the longest time i've had the belief that it doesn't matter how hard you work in life it's only really the results that matter people won't really care about how hard you work unless you give them the results they want to see you can spend days studying for a test putting countless countless hours into something or dedicating a lot of time towards whatever thing you're working hard at none of it matters if you don't produce results that you or others find satisfactory this mentality has pretty much been more harmful to me than it is helpful as it has pretty much stopped me from working on anything with any amount of effort i pretty much look at anything i want to do and go i wish i could do this but i don't know if my work can produce the results necessary to achieve success for me or others so why bother i really want to improve my life and work to make myself a better person but i just fear that i won't get the results needed to feel like i accomplished anything i want to do i really want to stop thinking like this but it's just been really hard to get out of this mentality if anybody wants to help me out with why hard work matters or how to get out of this mentality it would be appreciated sorry if this comes off as a ramble or anything i've been really nervous to post this okay so you know how sometimes i make it i try to bully twitch chat and say owned gg so i wanna i wanna actually give this person mvp because i can imagine that this person when they were thinking about posting this maybe their mind said i wish i could post something and ask for help but i don't know if posting something and asking for help will actually help therefore i'm not going to bother and what did they do they post it anyway so this whatever happened here is the first step to fixing this problem and what do you guys notice about this sentence awareness of your internal emotional state instead of this logical pile of do you guys like how more simply can i say this it's a beautiful illustration hey i think this way it doesn't help i'm nervous and they act it's a perfect example of exactly what you need to do because this is what the mind is gonna tell you it's gonna produce the false rational thoughts wrong knowledge and so the first thing that i'd say is how are you able to make this post what did your mind tell you would happen if you made this post it's kind of interesting but let's let's answer in a little bit more of a complete way so if your mind is telling you all the time that results are the only things that matter and because results are the only things that matter and look at all the evidence that i have no one cares about how much you studied they just care about your grades right like when i apply to college and here's the evidence right so here's the rational mind when i apply to college they don't ask how much i studied they asked me for my transcript and they make the decision based on the transcript it's a good argument right it's true it's good so remember that when your intellect gets hijacked by some emotion the arguments it comes up with are never false that's why you can't convince someone because the arguments they come up with are logical on some level i don't have an alcohol problem because i'm not in jail and i know someone who has an alcohol problem and he's in jail he drives drunk i don't therefore i don't have a problem if you talk to a thousand alcoholics who are in denial they'll draw the bar of who has a problem so that they are on the safe side that's where they draw the line the line is a little bit past where i am right that's just the nature of rationalization so how can we approach this okay how can we help someone who thinks to themselves only results matter now i want you guys to pay attention to a couple of things here okay none of it matter none of it matters if you don't produce results that you or others find satisfactory okay achieve success so i'd start with this question what do others find satisfactory and what is the nature and origin of success what does that mean like what is the target you're shooting for because it's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy if success means a 4.0 then you're right the only thing that matters is grades obviously right if my standard is like if success to me is a 4.0 if my success is an outcome then of course outcomes are what matters for that success it's like kind of a no-brainer so if you have a results-oriented perspective on success then results are going to matter it's sort of like you know if we're judging if we have a height contest what matters is your height it's like the way that we set things up so instead what i would encourage you to do is like think about this post was this post a success was it what's the bar that you're measuring against and this is a common problem that i have with the medical students i don't don't work with many of them now but like a lot of times like medical students are so grades oriented they're so results oriented at some point at some point i kind of like you know metaphorically slap them upside the head i'm like you're not here for grades who cares about your clinical grade like do you get that two years from now you're gonna walk into a room or you're gonna be like at a party and someone is gonna ask the question is there a doctor here and then like someone's gonna point to you they're like that that person's a doctor and then you're gonna have to figure out what to do with another human being that's why you should study who the hell cares what grade you get like you're studying because the information has value in and of itself that will become practically useful for you at some point it's absolutely terrifying it's the scariest damn thing and so i'd say like what is how do you define success and how do you define what is satisfactory how do you define what other you know what other people find satisfactory like where does that come from because as long as you're playing a game that is rigged to be outcome oriented you're gonna find that no individual thing will feel like enough there's a second cognitive trap here which is that the feeling of enough is like will paralyze you so let me just give you guys an example if i'm results focused let's say i want to climb to the top of a mountain i look there and i say okay how do i get to the top of that mountain and i take one step forward then i look at the top of the mountain have i made progress no am i any closer no it's still the same distance away every step you take is going to feel insufficient if you are focused on your end goal technically have i moved forward yes but that's not what my mind is going to tell me because remember my mind is thinking about the the result right like what is his mind this person's mind tell him i wish i could do this but i don't know if my work can produce the results necessary to achieve success so why bother why bother trying unless success is guaranteed and if you think about it like nothing you do is gonna guarantee success and so you're setting up a situation for yourself where you're unable to act which is exactly what this person's problem is and they even recognize it's a problem so what do we do and so it's odd but what you have to do is let go of success right so then like the bar is not getting to the top of the mountain the bar is how many steps am i gonna take the bar is not getting six pack abs the bar is not losing 50 pounds the bar is am i gonna it's not even going to the gym every day be careful because that's an outcome the bar is am i going to go to the gym today am i going to exercise today so you need to shift your mindset from a performance-oriented mindset to a growth-oriented mindset and this is work that carol dweck did an awesome job of sort of thinking about so she hit on on it that way the other way to kind of think about it is from a yogic perspective garumafar as a human being you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions all you are entitled to is actions as a human being you do not get to control results i know it sounds weird you don't get to control results all you get to control is actions so as long as you are concerned at all about controlling a particular outcome that is something that you will never be able to succeed in i know it sounds kind of weird but we think we can control results but we can't any job interview i go into i don't have the ability to get that job i can't control that all i can control is whether i walk into the interview all i can control is whether i do my homework the day before whether i learn about the company or not i can't control whether i get an a or not all i can control is whether i study and maybe if i'm woefully unlucky and it turns out that out of the hundred questions eleven questions were from the one lecture that i missed and couldn't find notes on because my buddy who i relied on for notes never came through then i'm sol and i get a b g g i can't actually control getting an a all i can control is what i study so carol dweck sort of talks about this from a research psychological aspect but this has been known in humanity and in the east for literally thousands of years that as a human being you don't control outcomes you only control actions so when i got on stream today can i help you think about it for a second what's gonna happen if you come and listen to our streams what's the outcome you have no clue as do i i have no clue what are we going to talk about i don't know am i going to make sense maybe am i not going to make sense is it going to be confusing is my vata going to get the better of me maybe but we're going to show up and we're going to try and that's why we stream usually three days a week we're going to roll those dice as much as we can we're going to keep trying and if you roll the dice enough this is what the law of karma says generally speaking if you roll the dice enough things will end up in your favor so stop focusing about the success adopt a gentian impact mindset you gotta grind gotta put your wallet where your desires are right seriously life is a gamble chat right you gotta the way to succeed like how do you get a five star character and gunshin impact you roll the dice many many many many times so who is the one who succeeds it's the people who roll the dice over and over and over again so if you're someone who says i don't know if this is going to work therefore i'm not going to do it you are correct it may not work but it is because it may not work that is why you should do it because it's never going to work until you keep trying yeah so also chad i've kind of cooled off on genting impact it's getting kind of grindy and i'm not so sure i'm gonna continue playing it you know but i i will say yeah so like when someone was a 0.01 so chat i will explain to y'all okay last example of rng when i graduated from college with a 2.5 gpa people know this story i'm sure i applied to 140 research positions got one interview and 139 rejections the 141st research position i applied to was harvard medical school and i got it so keep trying on my wall my biggest regret from applying to medical school for three years in a row is that i did not keep all of the rejection letters what i want on my wall what deserves to be on my wall is not my certifications from harvard medical school what deserves to be on my wall is the 90 rejection letters i got that's my story it's not about the one that i got right it's about the 90 applications that i sent out that's what i'm proud of and so i encourage each and every one of you when your mind tells you it's not gonna be enough okay so what are you gonna do about it are you going to try anyway are you going to let external circumstances dictate your actions because if you want to take control of your life you have to stop letting external circumstances dictate your actions controlling your life is about acting and losing control of your life is letting other things control your actions whether it be a toxic relationship whether it be like applying are you gonna let your anxiety control you are you gonna ask someone out you can let your anxiety control you or you're gonna apply for a job you're going to let your anxiety control you're going to sign up to learn how to play the piano what do you control very little and the problem is that everyone is so bent out of shape everyone spends so much time trying to chase success that they forget action and what you essentially find is that the people who are successful are the ones who devote themselves to action so devote yourself to action that's all you need to do just get up and act you're like but it may fail yes you're correct it may fail it will probably fail and then if you do it again the chances of failure are lower you do it again the chances are lower you do it again chances are lower and then depending on your beliefs you know if you believe in god and what not hopefully there's a pity timer you never know right so i think maybe getting getting into hms as a research assistant was my five star pity timer you

Channel: HealthyGamerGG

Views: 69,975

Rating: 4.9859791 out of 5

Keywords: mental health, drk, dr kanojia, healthygamergg, healthy gamer gg, twitch, psychiatrist

Id: sOPyJR0pDxA

Length: 13min 49sec (829 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 05 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Mantler77]

Good video! I wrote about my perspective on how to be action-orientated in this post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/oxqv58/thinking_of_outcomes_as_probabilities_helps_me_to/ if anyone is interested :)