- Have you ever looked at a dog and
thought, what do you even do? - Let's talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ - Good Mythical Morning!
- Before we get started we wanna let you know that we have pre-released our FOURTH
sketch in Sketchtober over on vessel.com/rhettandlink It's called: The Puzzle and it's live right now.
- Mythical Beasts, over the course of 20,000 years of artificial selection,
humans have produced upwards of 400 different breeds of dogs. That's pretty
amazing. And, some of those dogs were bred for amazingly specific tasks. Now
that I have a dog that obviously means that you are in the market...
- Oh! Oh, really? - ...so today I want to introduce to you
and to you, some dogs who were bred to do interesting stuff to help you make
a decision, Rhett. - Alright.
- You are gonna get a dog... - I am.
- ...now that I've got Jade, right? - I was planning on it before but I
wanna, well, leave it to the people. - It's time to play: This Dog Does WHAT? Okay, Rhett. I'm going to show you a
picture of a dog breed and I'm gonna give you some...
- Do I have to pick one of these dogs as my dog breed? Or is this just
to help me? - This is just to help you.
- I don't want to be committed to anything right now. - Also to help you I'm giving you four
multiple choice answers and I'm giving you three lifelines. One of them is
Bury Them Answer Bones, where I remove two wrong answers. The other one is called
Old Dog New Hints where I give you a hint in a dog voice...
- Oh. - And then the last one is What is it Boy?
What is it Boy? Where an actual dog is going to give you what he thinks is the
right answer. - An actual dog?
- First up, we have... - Where is he?
- A big and wrinkly Neapolitan Mastiff was historically bred to fight alongside
the Romans and do what? A. Flank advancing armies and take down enemy archers by biting
them in the legs and groin, B. Act as guard dogs while the Romans slept to warn
them of impending attacks in the dead of night, C. Wear body armor and blades to
run under enemy horses and disembowel them, or D. be so dosh garn...
(laughter) ...dosh garn, be so gosh darn cute that the enemy
stopped to give him some belly rubs because (baby voice) isn't he such a good boy?
Yes he is such a good boy! - You don't talk to your dog
like that, do ya? - Of course not. No baby talk.
- Well I wanna say that it has something to do with all the extra skin. Like, it
was for skin grafts for wounded soldiers. What is that patch of dog hair on your
knee? I was in an accident. (laughter)
- Hmm. But it doesn't have anything to do with all the extra skin. Why is the extra skin,
why the extra skin, boy? Huh? - It's a picture. He can't talk to you.
- Uh, I think that they are pretty intimidating and they probably have a very loud bark
just based on what they look like. So I would just say B. Guard dogs while they
slept to warn of impending attacks. - No, Rhett. The answer is C. They wear body
armor and disembowel the undersides of horses. Can you believe that?
- Really? I don't believe that ever happened. That was just a theory.
- Now, you missed that one and I didn't tell you what's at stake. So now, you're
already behind but I'm saying if you get four out of the next six right, you
won't have to go to the doghouse and be shocked with this dog shock collar.
Instead I will be. - I don't want to be, why would I want
to be shocked with a dog collar? - Well, if you lose.
- But, then you do it. Okay, alright. - So you gotta get four out of the
next six right. - Oh, I don't know. I don't wanna get
shocked. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it so much. - The Vernepator Cur...I'm sure I'm saying
that right, was an essential part of every large kitchen in Britain in the 16th Century
and exclusively performed what task? A. Testing the food for poison before it
was served to an important guest B. Running in a wheel that turned a
roasting spit in kitchen fireplaces - What?
- C. Keeping the kitchen free of rodents and cleaning up discarded food scraps, or
D. Hiding under the chef's hat and telling him how to cook in some weird dog version
of the movie Ratatouille. - Hmm. Probably not D. Ugh, okay, uh... I
don't wanna use a lifeline yet. Because I feel like the roasting thing makes no
sense, they're not gonna test a dog for poisoned food because it may not kill
a human, it has to be C. that this is a rodent and cleaning up dog. C.
- No, it is B. - No! But it can't be true!
- They ran in a wheel that turned a roasting spit, and before they used the dogs...
- Get a child to do that! - ...they got children to do it behind wet
bales of hay where they wouldn't get too hot. - Oh.
- This dog is sadly extinct now, because they have like electric rotisseries, I
guess they won't care. (crew laughter)
- They can't just be a pet now? - I know, it's sad.
- He has to be used as a rotisserie dog? - Should I just say you need to get three
out of the next five right? I don't wanna shock you. But, then I'm gonna get shocked.
- You said it! Three out of the next five, Link! - If you get three then we'll have to both
be shocked. But if you get four, only I have to be shocked.
- Okay. Alright. - Hailing from Africa and sporting a
distinguishing ridge running down its spine as you can see, the Rhodesian Ridgeback
was originally bred for what purpose? In Africa. A. To hunt lions on the open plain
B. To flush out hippos lurking below the water's surface, C. To herd elephants as
hyena lookalikes, or D. To relay messages to other dogs, letting them know when
Cruella D'evil is on her way to steal some puppies for a luxurious
spotted fur coat. It happened. It was in a movie. It could happen again.
- Hmm. This is an ideal dog. It's like, this is a dog. If I had to get a dog tattooed
on my body, this would be the one. - And they'd be like, what's up
with that dog's back? - No, this is the ideal dog.
- That ridge is just hair by the way, that's not his spine. That's not a hint.
- Ooh gosh. This is so tough. Uh, I feel like I've got to get some help at this point.
I would like Old Dog, New Hints. - Alright, so that's me in dog version
giving you a hint. Here it is. (in dog voice) Rifff Rarf Rarrr!
(crew laughter) That's how dogs talk.
- Riff Raff Ruff? - (in dog voice) Riff Raff Rahhhh
(crew laughter) That's your hint.
- Did you say Mustafa? A! Hunting lions on the open plain!
- Mufasa is what I said but that is correct. That's a lion hunting dog, pretty awesome.
With a mohawk on its back. - I just don't think that dog has ever
successfully hunted a lion. I just can't believe they have.
- Oh they, all the time brother. - Find 'em and kill 'em?
- All the time. The Norwegian Lundehund is a six-toed dog
and was bred to do what for their masters? A. Locate marble and limestone deposits
to be used in construction projects - Hmm. That's cute.
- B. Track foxes by speedily traversing across mud bogs and swampy areas,
C. Hunt for Puffins in their inaccessible nesting locations on cliffs and in caves,
or D. Leave a trail of six-toed pawprints to their owners' house so the Baha Men
would know where to go when it's time to let the dogs out.
- Saw the dogs out. - Who? Who? Who?
- First of all, not to be mean but I don't like dogs with this whole tail that goes up thing.
(crew laughter) I don't like to see, I don't like to see
the dog butthole. I, in life, I try not to look at dog buttholes. And every time..
- That one it's like beggin' to be seen. - ...it's like <i>whoosh</i>. Like, why do you gotta
make a tail like that? Put it down. Put the tail down. I don't wanna see the butthole.
(laughter) But, why would an exposed butthole be
helpful? Let's see here. - And six toes.
- Mhmm. Uh, how does? It might help with limestone deposits, I don't know. Uh,
that's such a crazy, I think this guy would chase foxes.
- I made that one up. Nope. - Gosh!
- They hunt for Puffins in inaccessible nesting locations, dude.
- I suck at this dog stuff. - 'Cause they got all that stability.
You've only gotten one right. You gotta get the next three right in order to out
and out not be shocked. - Okay. Gosh.
- This shaggy breed, Lagotto Romagnolo, was originally bred as water retrievers
but have also been used to search for what? A. Beavers for their anal glands, which
are used in perfumes, medicines and food as we all know, B. Potable water sources
on remote hunting trips, C. Buried truffles for exquisite dining, or D. Rock bottom
prices (laughs) at the local Wal-Mart - I mean, get rid of two of these answers.
Bury some answer bones. - Alright. I'm burying B and D.
- B and D. - So they either search for beaver glands
or truffles. I thought you knew this one. That's a hint.
- Well, I know that pigs search for truffles but I have heard that dogs are now being
used for truffles. So, I'm gonna assume that this looks like a truffle dog.
Looks like he's got some truffle sauce there on his back. Uh, C. Truffles.
- That's it, man. - Yay!
- That's a truffle finding dog! Alright, let's blaze through these. The Portuguese
Water Dog was bred originally by fishermen to dive off boats and do what? A. Swim to
the next boat delivering fishermen letters B. Chew and remove barnacles off the side
of the ships to reduce drag, C. Attract large fishing game by acting as living bait
Or D. Do some wicked sweet canine canin-balls (laughs) canine-balls.
- Gosh. (laughter)
- That would impress the ladies. I didn't even try to re-say that one correct.
- Wow. - Because (enunciating) Canine Balls...
(crew laughter) - ...is an awesome thing. I do it at the
pool all the time! - Well, he's got a, he's got a haircut
designed to show off his canine balls. - Yeah, okay.
(crew laughter) - Okay. Okay. Okay.
- What is up with that haircut? Does that make you live bait?
- It's top heavy. He's front heavy. - Chewing barnacles off the sides of ships?
I mean, it's such a crazy thing I'm gonna say that's what it is. It's so stupid
and every answer has been so stupid. - (laughing) No, they deliver fishermen
letters from boat to boat. You're gonna get shocked. If you want me to get shocked
with you... - I gotta get it right.
- ...you gotta get this last one right. - Okay.
- The Xoloitzcuintli, better known as a Mexican Hairless Dog, is sacred to the
Aztecs because A. They would guide the soul of their dead masters safely through
the underworld, B. They were originally bred in the fabled golden city of El Dorado
C. They do not carry fleas and associated furborne disease, or D. They make their
masters more comfortable about their male pattern baldness.
- (fake laughter) - 'Cause they're bald.
- Well I'd like to Ask a Dog. - Let's ask a dog! It's never too
late to ask a dog. - This is the dog?
- This is John Lennon dressed as a dog I think. (crew laughter)
- Just imagine. - Alright, what is it, dog?
- Um, I think... - How's it smell in there by the way? - (sniffs) Rubbery, very rubbery.
- What do you know about dogs, Chase? - Well, I am also a Mexican dog, I'm a
Chase-hua-hua, so... - Okay.
- ...I think I would know this stuff pretty well. - Alright.
- I think it's the uh, A. The soul to the underworld. That sounds cool.
- Okay. - It sounds cool. That's his rationale.
- Well, I'm gonna agree with him because this is the kind of dog that you feel
like it's painted in, you know, pyramids. - Crypts?
- Maybe like all its hair burned off. - Like, with the ears and the stuff?
- Aztec pyramids? - Aztec pyramids. Yes. Thank you, dog!
- Final answer? - Final answer.
- Final answer? - Yes. I'm not gonna let you mind game me.
- (laughing) Ha, that is correct! - Thanks Chase-hua-hua!
- Alright! So you're gonna have to be shocked but you're not gonna be shocked alone. Let us
know in the comments what is your favorite dog breed. And don't say Chase-hua-hua.
I don't even know how to spell that. Let's not try to figure it out.
- Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing! - You know what time it is. - "Hello. I'm Paco from Spain. And this is Zach.
And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality." - Remember to check out the pre-released
Puzzle sketch over at vessel.com/rhettandlink - And click through to Good Mythical More
where we're both gonna be shocked with this dog collar shocking device.
- Rhett tries to rob Link, but in a very polite way.
- Hey, bud. - Yo.
- I like that shirt. - Who, who're you?
- Got anything...got anything in that pocket? - No. No, no. Don't.
- What about back here? - What? No. There's no pocket back there.
- Hey, hey, hey...just, just give, hey, give me a little lean forward.
- Why are you, why are you touching me? - How's that massage feel?
- That's okay. That's good. - How's that?
- That's good. - I'll just take...
- Okay, a little lower? - Nice wallet.
- What did you say? Nice wallet? - Nice...wallet.
