Welcome To Mountain View Online

hey everyone and welcome to valentineview how you doing rachel i'm doing great jeff how are you i'm doing fantastic it's another great day to be here it is yes absolutely and we're so excited that you guys chose to celebrate jesus with us thanks for being with us whether you're online in person wherever you are you are we appreciate you we love you we are so glad you're joining us uh and we wouldn't have this without you so thanks for being here yes and you know what we'd love to know where are you watching whether you're in person right now or you're watching from any anywhere we'd love to know i want to know i'm curious like who our furthest away watcher is that makes sense like how far away the person is so if you're maybe you're like i'm in canada or maybe in austria which we had someone from australia the other week definitely comment down below or maybe you're just down the street and say hey i'm down the street comment down below we'd love to hear from you yes and you know what this saturday yep we have our marriage conference now this is going to be awesome it is i'm registered oh yeah we're we're coming all right yeah the great thing about it is you know we were talking to today about marriage we are pastor daniel's preaching a great message and it's so relevant to next week yeah so i want to encourage you you know take take what you're learning today but also come to marriage conference uh it's a sign up right now you go to mb.churchforward events or on our app uh you can definitely sign up but it's a great way to invest in your marriage you know we look at like things like and i'm not trying to compare marriage to cars but you look at your car right if you don't invest into it and you don't continually do like routine maintenance uh your car breaks down and i have that happen on quite a bit so make sure don't don't make my mistakes make sure you come to marriage conference sign up today you know you can never go wrong investing in your marriage and so definitely recommend you guys to sign up i'm probably going to hear about comparing my marriage to a car later but that's okay because your wife is a good analogy at least in my mind now you know what i just want to say how awesome you guys are because we had our start off our season of generosity with the blessing bag so seasoned generosity is is our way of mountain view to as we're heading to holiday season september october november december it's our way to be generous as a church collectively as a church and the great thing is we don't just stop at the end of december we're collect we're generous as a church all year round yes absolutely but we use we kind of mobilize our entire church to gather around different causes and the blessing bags you said yes we just started those and you guys were amazing because this was supposed to happen for two weeks and you guys took them all the first week like they were gone they're gone i'm just i'm just without words you guys are killing it so great job thank you for your generosity thank you for being getting behind the vision of season of generosity and taking it on and saying i want to be generous we appreciate that so we just decided here's what we're going to do we're just going to jump to october yeah we're going to go ahead and move forward because why not be ready for the next one in october we are our organization that we're getting behind is hope women's center great organization here in arizona that helps women uh that that are looking for help and assistance that need help and assistance with their families and uh we just want to show you a quick video that we interviewed the hope women's center uh directors and leaders there check it out so here at hope women's center we are able to serve women from all kinds of background we see women that are in a crisis situation they could be a domestic violence an on-prem pregnancy it could be poverty and they come here for our services we provide an education program a mentoring program and also a material assistance program the women come here and take classes our classes can be anything from life skill classes to bible studies we do domestic violence anger management parenting classes for them mom support groups when they go to classes or go to mentoring they receive points and that's where a material assistance program comes in those points get accrued on a balance sheet for them and they can come in and shop in our boutique and our boutique is stocked with gently used women's clothing children's clothing baby clothes shoes purses toiletries well mountain view has been an amazing partner with us you guys once a year you help us with a christmas drive we you guys help us with the toys for christmas and then mountain view does donation drives for us we've had i think you guys have done tuna juice before we've got food drives we have diaper drives so we're definitely we wouldn't be here or wouldn't wouldn't be able to to provide for the families that we provide if it wasn't for churches like mountain view i love it that video right there you see that boy at the end with a big old smile you get to be a part of putting a smile on his face through your generosity so head to mb.church forward slash events or outreach as well you could immediately the list of everything that we're collecting for hope make sure you check it out grab your items uh we'll start in october uh it'll give you all the dates and info there make sure you join us you know what celebration is about to be let's go stand up with us and we are going to have an awesome time celebrating jesus hey malcolm you were so excited that you were here in the house of god today we're super excited to worship with y'all if you're joining in the room we invite you to stand let's invite heaven into this room today with love and compassion and justice and mercy found jesus the sweetest name us is is here heaven is heaviness heaviness here our god is with us our god is with us the sun here as in heaven walking beside the wizards is with us let your will be done in us as we exalt the sun we are aware of what you've done jesus our god is with us let us rejoice we come together to worship him to give him the glory the honor that he in the deserves and your hands our future remains the promise is made long before us today and forever to stand before whatever these are your glory days know your best days are still up ahead foreign as we remember god's faithfulness today you are worthy of your name is foreign foreign the you you be the winner oh he is oh he is is you're never gonna let me down you're never gonna you're never gonna let me down you're you are good to me you're never gonna let me oh you're never gonna oh come on he's been good to you you are good oh churches we transition into a time of preparing our hearts for giving i'd like to share a story with you if you would allow me a moment to be vulnerable so this next song that we're singing is called house of miracles and even though we didn't introduce it uh back during our miracle month it still is uh an altar of remembrance for at least me and my family whenever we think back to that season this is your first time here at mountain view just for background information in february we usually have what's called our miracle month what that looks like is we spend 21 days praying and fasting spending extra time in god's presence so at the end of the 21 days we're getting ready to lay down a sacrifice a seed to fuel the next generation and to keep going on a financial investment and all the time that that happens god chooses to show up and show off in many different ways whether it's during that same week whether it's months later or years later and it's amazing as i look around this room getting to know some of your stories as they have come in over the years and to hear what god has done in your life i'd like to share something that he did in mine and is kind of still in the process of so back in february the very first week is where i started the fast i had a vehicle that um kind of started having some issues there was the one i used to take the my children to school and it would stall out and it's kind of an older vehicle and it's kind of banged up and so i asked god rather than fix it if you provide for us a new vehicle and so i found out through i believe his first miracle is that one of my relatives were selling their van which was kept in pristine condition it was really nice and i felt like god was laying a number on my heart to pay for that van and i was a little too scared to ask because of how nice of a condition it was in so we go forward and are getting ready to to pay for the vehicle we are at the dmv we make the first payment and he's kind of just sitting there with us and we're talking and as we get ready to leave we get in the new van and he gets in his vehicle then all of a sudden he gets out and i feel something's stirring in my heart and i watch as he walks over and he looks at us and says you know i'd like to give you this back a portion of what was already given for the payment when he gave us some of it back the number that we ended up paying for the car was exactly what god had laid on our hearts beforehand which is amazing in itself we see that even in a moment of maybe doubting in a moment of scare that god still shows up and shows off because we were faithful to make that first step and so at the end of uh miracle month we laid down our gift and we were praying for a couple of other things but as the months went on we enjoyed that van it was great for our family and it was uh dare i say perfect and god had provided we were so grateful for that in that season but what some of you might know is a couple of months ago i got in an accident right outside the church here and that van was totaled and so i was sitting on the side of the road with bandages over my head the injuries were not severe i just barely had a couple of stitches but in that moment in the chaos and then thinking through that that whole thing i thought man the gift that god had just blessed me with i really did i destroyed this blessing that it was meant to to provide and in that moment the enemy could have gotten a foothold and was trying to as i look at seeing the damages from the vehicle and to other vehicles around in his i get in the car and to the go to the hospital i'm sobbing in the front seat he's thinking how it was my fault that this happened that i destroyed the blessing that god had brought and as i'm sitting there my wife reminds me and through the through the holy spirit as well that god has this handled and that i'm walking away safe already which is the blessing in itself so a couple weeks uh passed by you know the the injuries of bruising wasn't too great and so i'm up on my way once being healed and now it's it's looking at the bills and then the tickets and all of that financial burden and that's another moment where the enemy can sneak in but i trust and say that god's got this and in that moment a couple days later we found out from the insurance that the the claim on the vehicle ended up coming back double what that car was worth and double what we paid for it and it was able to take care with i was able to take care of all the bills all the tickets everything and even put some away for the next season and just to see god's faithfulness but something my wife thought of in reminding and hit home was what if that vehicle that van that god bless you with was not to have another vehicle for the next season because if you don't know paul lewis he actually fixed up the old one which is great and that's what i'm driving now thank god but she said what if that van was meant specifically for that accident so that i'd walk away safe what if i'm here today because of that blessing that happened and because of that faithfulness that i put in then and then at the same time as is we were preparing to pay all these bills we had the choice to make we could have padded our savings account we could have saved and not given back to the church but we chose to continue to to follow god's leading and continue to be faithful in that way i believe that's one of the reasons why he kept continuing to show off again and again in our lives what i want to encourage you with is as we head into this this time of giving that you would put god to the dust because he says that in tithes and offering that's how you should put him to the test that he will bless your socks off because he is faithful he owns the cattle on a thousand hills and there's nothing that compares to the greatness of god he doesn't want your money but what he wants is your heart and something to work through that and a lot of times it takes a sacrifice to lay something down and for god to work in maybe that season of weakness maybe that that that area where you think that you have it all when you lay it down god is willing to pick that up and use it even further than you imagined and i just wanted to share that story what's happened in my life because i get to see the tangible work of god every single time i step into my driveway and every single time i look at my wife now these days but as we continue there's going to be a link that comes up on your screen with all of our online giving options and our text to give options if you're joining us in the room in just a moment we'll be passing some buckets along what i encourage you to give today is we sing this song about the miracles that are happening here and now will you give as we continue to worship today this is a house of worship this is this is our hearts are full of is this of is everything in the name of jesus oh even the coldest this is everything in the name of jesus this of is everything in the name of jesus believe you're working all thanks for my good cause i'll fix my eyes is is foreign through the feet of jesus in the name of jesus this is this is a house come on y'all believe this is a house of miracles everything in the name of jesus this is all things come on this is your moment right now i still is this to the is of jesus everything in the name of jesus this so thankful that is is a house of miracles it's what separates this building from all other buildings it is a natural place where the supernatural takes place we believe that and we thank you for that we're so glad to know that we can worship you in spirit and in truth we can sing these beautiful songs but we can also open up the scriptures and they can still relate to our life lord we have the meditation of our heart and mind today to decrease so that you can increase because we are thankful that when god's people get together you do something special lord something powerful something that is pervasive and something that is well it's peaceful and we thank you for it god i i just ask that you'll honor our praise you'll honor our our our worship you'll honor the attitude and posture of our heart today we want to meet with you lord we need more of you and that's why we're here we believe that a miracle is in store and the best is yet to come and all of god's people said amen amen so be it go ahead and have a seat man so glad to be here today i just love coming to church and i love that i can come to the church of my choice you know because a lot of countries can't and i'm thankful for men and women that serve our country to make sure we have this opportunity to uh come to the church of our choice so thank you you could have gotten a lot of other places but you're here and we want to honor that uh that today that you take time out of your sunday to uh to be here because you know you can get ted talks online you can get great music uh on the radio but to be in the house of god there's just something special that takes place and that's why we sing about miracles because we believe that god is able and he he's still moving and still uh doing that and we're grateful for that hey we we started a sermon series last week called squad goals and the reality is all of us have a squad whether that be co-workers or whether that be family members siblings uh a neighborhood teammates if maybe if you're a part of a team recreationally you have a squad and we want you to have um the best squad possible and that's why we started last week just talking about what it means to be a single now i think being a single is really one of the most important times in life because that's when you really figure out who you are you know there's no outside influences or there shouldn't be developing your identity and what you stand for before you bring somebody else into your life and we said you don't have to have a significant other to be significant and that's important because in this world we almost think that we have to be married in order to be somebody but but being single is not a curse uh it's not a prison sentence it's the best time for god to really work um in your life so if you missed last week's message i'd really encourage you uh to go back in and listen to it how many of you enjoyed last week's message maybe not you're married like okay i get it although i was somewhat concerned and i told you this last week as i was studying for the message ms amy looked at me and said wouldn't it be fun to get married and go to honeymoon again and that scared me it was like well because she didn't say with you she just said that i'm like whoa i'm out here a little bit and then i was preaching last week john and i'm meaning to have this conversation right now is i said hey listen if you're single and you hope to be married again one day i need you to take some notes come tell you what to look for in a future spouse and teresa was taking all kinds of notes john i'm just telling you i'm just telling you right now you may need to be aware oh because you got four girls okay thank you for clarifying that for me but today we're going to talk about marriage and and uh we're gonna talk about from a 30 000 feet really the highest level because this weekend this saturday we're actually having a marriage conference where we're gonna break it down on the on the ground level so uh i encourage you to be here we're gonna have a lot of fun this saturday uh it's just a day conference will be done by mid-afternoon you don't have to get a hotel though if you'd like to get a hotel that'd be cool hey holla get your hotel come to the marriage conference so that's where we're talking about more practical things but today we're going to keep it on a really a 30 000 foot level and the title of today's message is china and china how many of you when you got married you got china anybody get china if they get china do they still do that is that still a thing you get married somebody gave you china amy and i did not get china we got trinette still to this day we i had to borrow this from somebody we don't we don't have any china we have china maybe that's a maybe that's the oklahoma thing i don't know and i'll talk about here in just a moment the difference between china and china and how that relates to us biblically but as we get started today we're on the you know getting on the same page i'm gonna ask the ladies a question first ladies how many of you uh when you were younger maybe a young kid or maybe a teenager progressed into your 20s maybe you dreamed of getting married did you get married to the most kind the most gentle the man who would listened to you you know the most loving husband he would walk hand in hand with you and you would plan your life together how many of you ladies dreamed of something like that all right all right man i'm gonna ask men a question i mean how many of you you two dreamed maybe in your late teenage years or you got into 20 you two dreamed of getting married but you dreamed your dream is a little bit different because your dream was i'm gonna dream that we're gonna have sex twice a day and three times on sunday come on man help me out is that what you dreamed of yeah yeah yeah uh uh our dreams were a little bit different let me ask you one more question this is for the both men and women in the room how many of you are still dreaming yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of expectations when it comes to marriage what a a good marriage should look like uh what we hope it is what we aspire it to be and when marriage doesn't meet our expectations there's all sorts of disagreements and discouragement and disappointments and hurts and anger irritation agitation and frustration and i know that for many of you right now you have been wounded in a relationship or the relationship that you're in right now is not really good shape it's in fact really bad shape and you're asking the question today is a good marriage even possible and i believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that the answer is yes in fact how many of you in this room today could testify that a good godly marriage is possible i'm really raise your hand and encourage the people that are not married or are in a bad marriage it is possible in fact if you were to ask me and and i'm not being uh cute with this or being cliche with this i don't need your ooze and alls though i would like your ooze and alls i don't need them if you were to ask me about my marriage today and amy and i met really young um i was 16 going to be a junior she was 18. going to be a senior hey holla at your boy y'all the players all the ladies hey um so i was really young and we've been together 25 years been married 21 years if you were to ask me what's the biggest surprise and i would say this in all honesty publicly or privately is i didn't know that i could love another human being as much as i love amy today and that i didn't think that i could grow in love towards her nor do i did i think that she could be more beautiful 25 years later than what she was when we met really really i really believe that i fall more in love with her i think she's more beautiful so i just want to say this that it is possible it is possible but it's not likely it's not likely unless you're willing to put some really really hard work into it but if you're willing to do that you can see god work a miracle in your marriage and everything possible and there's a reason why all fairy tales or rom-com movies end with a wedding ceremony because everybody knows what happens next you go home you know in genesis chapter two and this is a biblical principle we have a wedding in the enemy the devil lucifer does not show up until after the first wedding and in genesis chapter two we go from this wedding to all of a sudden now we go to a war and no one plans on getting a divorce nobody stands up on the day they get married like i can't wait to get divorced and screw this up for myself and my kids nobody wants that but statistics say that over half will as a 25 year old pastor i dealt with the reality of failed marriages firsthand i was having a deacon meeting one night and one of my my deacons the elder board executive board showed up early and he was sobbing this is one of the best men that i know had known and one of the best relationships that i knew and he's sobbing in front of me and he's asking me as a 25 year old kid he's i've been married 35 years and my wife just left me and she ran off with another person why not long after that i was confronted with this very same thing in my own personal family after 29 years of marriage my father and my mother were divorcing and this time i was the one left asking the question why and during the course of those two events i was confronted with the reality of my marriage if i didn't change it my ways i too was headed down the same trail amy and i were more like business partners we were like parallel train tracks you know living parallel lives but never really intersecting and i was confronted with the fact that the enemy was winning the battle for my time and my attention i was like most men are really only men that i knew i was focused on my career i was focused on making money and becoming successful that i was neglecting my wife and my children in the process i was building success in my ministry but building bitterness at home i was married to the church i was married to my job but i was dating my wife and kids and many men in fact there may be some women here today are in that very same situation you're trying to make money and that's honorable you want your family to feel more secure but at the very same time your absence is making them feel more insecure and one day my son said to me he was just three years old and i was walking out of church or walking out of my home i lived across the street from the church and he looks at me and says daddy daddy all you do is work work work and preach preach preach in that moment i knew that i had failed i failed my wife i'd failed my kids and i was confronted with a choice do i have a great marriage and maybe sacrifice my career or do i have a great career and sacrifice my marriage and i made the decision that day that i'm going to put god first my wife's second and then my kids and the church will come next i'm going to marry my wife again and i'm going to date the church and i can tell you this i've been extremely blessed all because of that decision that i made that day so what i want to ask today is i just want to ask a very simple question why did god create marriage and we're gonna go all the way back to the beginning in genesis chapter two now i know that some of the things we're going to talk about today we've already talked about so i'll be real brief covering them but we're gonna go to genesis chapter 2 verse 18. the lord god said it is not good everyone say it's not good it is not good for man to be alone and you would agree if you have little boys you know it's not good for man to be left alone they're going to break something they're going to get in a fight with somebody they're going to grab a stick turn it into a sword somebody's going to get hurt if you leave little boys alone god was acknowledging it's not good for a man to be alone and we would all say amen so i'll make a helper who is just right for everybody just right you see adam had a relationship with god above and man below we didn't have anybody that was a helper it was just right for him so the lord god formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky and he brought them to the man to see what he'd call them and the man chose a name for each one he gave names to all the livestock the birds of the sky the wild animals but there was still no helper just right for him so the lord god caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while the man slept the lord god took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the opening then the lord god made a woman from the rib and he brought her to the man and the man said at last you pulling little ed james there and what's interesting is the words that adam are the first recorded words of adam are actually a love song he's saying to her that's why guys with guitar always have an advantage it goes back to adam and last this one is bone from my bone and flesh from my flesh and she should be called whoa man because remember he'd only been looking to animals up until this point and he's like whoa man because she was taken from man and this explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined into his wife the two are united into one and now the man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame say hi a few years ago somebody sent an email into the church and y'all sent some great emails and they said can you please tell pastor daniel that it's pronounced naked and not naked well i like to have some fun so i replied back well there's a difference between naked and naked naked is you don't have clothes on naked is you don't have clothes on you having some fun hey naked and they felt no shame in verse 18 we had the first negative assertion by god it's not good for man to be alone but man really wasn't alone he hadn't he had god above and he had the animals beneath but what he was alone in a sense he'd have some anyone that was right beside him somebody that could walk with him through life so god created this institution called marriage and the first principle we want to see today is marriage starts with god if you want to have a great relationship you got to have a godly relationship adam had a relationship with god before your relationship with his spouse i know that we say this a lot so we'll move quickly but we've heard people say or maybe we've said i think i've found the one because in our mind to be fully fulfilled or to be feel complete you have to find the one the problem is another person cannot be the one god is your one then your spouse is your two and that's why when jesus asks what is the most important commandment he didn't say love your spouse or or love your kids or love your job with all of your heart mind and your soul and your strength he said love the lord your god with all of your heart your soul your mind and your strength it's the first and greatest commandment and the second is like unto it love your neighbor as yourself and if you're not married and you hope to be one day my encouragement to you is seek the one while you're preparing for your two don't just find the right person become the right person because the closer you get to god the closer you'll get to one another number two is marriage reflects the character of god we talked about this last week that within the godhead we have the trinity god the father god the son and god the holy spirit working in complete harmony and through their relationship we discover that god is a relational god and that god created man to be in a relationship with him he didn't need it he chose it he wanted but then man sins so god brings the covenants and he restores the relationship unfortunately man sins again god brings circumcision so he reconciles the relationship man sins again god brings the law redeeming the relationship man sins again god sends his son jesus to to die in our place to reconcile and restore and redeem the relationship once and for all now we become the bride of christ giving us a great example that when you love something you sacrifice towards it and that's the story of the bible as god is redeeming and he's reparing and he's restoring his relationship with man and marriage is the example of the way that our relationship should be with god and one another and life will never make sense until you have a relationship with him so that you can develop deep relationships with one another and that's why dr gary thomas said marriage is not designed to make you happy marriage is designed to make you holy he gives us a picture of the character and the nature and the relationship that god wants to have with us and that's why it's so important that our marriage represents his relationship with us so well now let's move on the third principle is that marriage is about companionship now i want you to notice that that god took a rib from adam's side not from his head that she should be above him not from his back that she should be behind him nor from his foot that she should be beneath him but from his side is signifying that from this moment on she will always walk beside him she could now help adam be the best adam that he could be she could do for adam what no other part of creation could do and what god chose not to do that's to be a helmet in this moment a companion and one who comes alongside to truly help him someone who fits just right now i understand the word help mate has been misused i understand it's been abused however this is the very same word that's used to describe god many times in scriptures it does not mean inferior it does not mean secondary it does not mean less than it means fully fitting in fully adequate just like the holy spirit the paraclete to come alongside and help us be the best that we could be you see eve would come alongside adam and help adam be the best adam because adam didn't need an aid and adam didn't need a servant he could do all of these things that he needed to do by himself but what he did not have and what he really needed was a companion and that's why i love this little verse in song of solomon and song of solomon is one of the most romantic books in the bible and she's talking about her lover and she says everything about him is desirable which coincides coincidentally is what amy says about me all the time it's amazing you guys don't believe that all right she said he is my lover and he's my friend in the most romantic book of the bible she's making the most amazing claim he is my lover and he is my friend you see your marriage's success or failure depends on the friendship that you've developed with your spouse now one of the most respected sociologists of our day did a study and found the determining factor in whether a spouse feels satisfied is by the quality of their friendship he said happy marriages are based upon a deep friendship but the problem with friendship is it looks different for men and women doesn't it man because some of you are like oh i didn't know that let me just break this down for you this way men are naturally shoulder to shoulder our friends are the people that we do life with or that we share an activity with our friends have a tendency to be teammates or they may be uh our brother a little brother maybe maybe a brother in in arms maybe we were we were uh soldiers together are we are co-workers maybe we're golfing buddies or we are fishing partners that's the people we are friends with side by side but never face to face men don't discuss emotions i don't want a friend texting me ask me how i'm feeling today and if you ask me if there's anything wrong between us there's about to be something wrong between us i don't need you texting me johnny c saying hey you kind of brushed past me in the hallway today is everything okay with us i don't want to hear that hey how are you doing today how are you doing john you don't know how how are you doing dude you just told me everything i need to know you don't need to say anything else you doing good that's how we know we bros now he just told me everything i need to know in one word that's a man i don't want to have a relationship that gets emotional and i don't want to have a feelings based conversation i really don't care how you're feeling i just want to know how you do it i know that sounds harsh but you know what i'm talking about here right and if i know that i'm have to have a conversation with you it's gonna last like three or four weeks and it's going to get feelings based i will avoid your text or i will block you like the plague i just come on man help a brother out up in here today ain't nobody got time for how you feeling today did you kill anybody today no we all good then we all good we good you're doing good emotionally that's how i know you didn't kill anybody you're doing good women on the other hand have relationships and friendships based upon conversations i mean it's not side by side it's face to face they go to lunch together and they just talk i mean they actually just go to coffee and they actually just go and drink and have coffee they go shopping and don't even buy anything see women like face to face conversations and they love to talk about feelings and emotions and they get together and they just talk and talk and talk listen i have a little girl and i was not raised around girls and and now she she'll be 15 here in two weeks um and i think every guy needs a little girl because she taught me how to be a man really how to treat a woman because i realize like she's going to marry somebody like me so i need to start treating mama better i really believe that like that was a big thing in my life but she has her little friends come over and she talks in an octave that ain't natural i've never heard this they're gleeful i would never use that word but they're just happy and they're just chipper they just talk and they just talk and it gets louder and it gets louder and they just dog talking my son on the other hand is in the room he's talking to his best friends over the like the playing of games and they're saying i'm gonna kill you they're just threatening to kill each other over a video game like yeah they having a deep conversation they are spiritually and emotionally healthy because they're saying they're gonna kill each other and they're playing a video game it's not that way with women it's different because of our choices for a woman the road to the heart is through the ear but for a man is through a shared activity men have physical affairs because it's the adrenaline rush women have emotional affairs because it's the intimacy a husband he wants someone that he can experience or do life with so ladies my encouragement to you is find out what your husband loves to do and do it now listen you don't have to like golf to go riding in a golf cart with him you don't have to like camping to go glamping with him you don't have to like football to find out his favorite football team and buy a jersey and sit on a couch in pinterest don't even pay attention to the game to say uh-huh every once in a while and he will think you're the greatest thing in the world you don't have to like fishing you can bring your bathing suit and get a tan but i think he's gonna think you're the most awesome thing that ever walk men they want you to talk to her they want you to look her in the eyes they want you to touch her in a non-sexual way i know that's the craziest thing we've ever heard in our life but that's what they want they want you to ask questions that are open-ended and listen to the tone of her voice and watch your body language they're not a problem to be fixed just a person to be listened to and if you want a marriage to last you've got to create memories together and then go home and talk about them because that's how it started you remember when you were dating now this young people don't have any idea what i'm talking about but we actually used to use our phones to talk and we would call each other and we would talk for hours i don't even know how we did we just talked for hours and then we're like you hang up first no i can't hang up first girl i just want to listen to you boo boo boo i can't hang up on you i just want to listen to your breath oh now i'm here i'm gonna put the phone down and i just wanna make sure every night that you're breathing you started out as friends and the only way you're gonna last is if you're friends you see in verse 25 it says they were naked and unashamed and to be naked in marriages not just naked bodies it's naked personalities she felt no shame because she could stand in front of him naked and not feel insecure because almost all women feel insecure when it comes to their physical uh uh uh their body so he's looking at her and she's like i know that you love me for who i am not just what i look like and that's where we get true friendship from intimacy intimacy means into me see it's a shared activity in its shared vulnerability let's move on marriage is a gift from god you see other than jesus your spouse is god's greatest gift to you and as his gift to you you need to accept their strengths as well as a weakness so i'm going to ask you a question and really i encourage you you need to be asking this question to yourself consistently do you believe that your spouse is a gift from god because if you do that will change everything if you continually remind yourself god gave me this gift you know i love peter and the reason why i love peter is because peter's like a rough and tough guy right he's got the foot and mouth disease like so many of us men do i always open her mouth insert her foot he pulls out a sword he's cutting off malcus's ear i mean peter is a he's a cool dude and we see a maturation process in his life and we know that he was married because one of the first miracles of jesus was jesus touching peter's mother-in-law and healing her so peter's married and we see this process take place in his life and he writes something that you can see him changing just who he is as a man and he says husbands you must give honor to your wives treat your wife with understanding as you live together she may be weaker than you are but she's your equal partner in god's gift of life and when you hear that word weaker it does not mean weakness in the way that we think of weakness it does not mean a physical strength what he is referring to is something that is unique something that is special something that's not common it's it's just it's it's different and you treat it that way and that's why i started off by asking you how many of you received china when you got married as a gift you know china is kind of a weird gift to give somebody right and china is is is weird especially for me we again we don't have china but but my family members do and the thing about china is it's weird because you're not allowed to use it all right i mean you're not able to use it except for special occasions and us men can't really figure out what is a special occasion because we use it when your family comes over but we don't use it when my family comes over and i can't figure out the purpose of this stuff right we don't know we need you to tell us ladies however what we do know about china is it's not treated as common cutlery it's special it's on display i mean you can see it it it it looks pretty and we we clean it and we make sure that it's it's presentable but we don't treat it the way we treat chinette i mean chinette you kind of use it and abuse it and you just throw it away it's just like anything else you don't really put any thought and tension you don't put any money into it it's china but china on the other hand is just it's different and peter says listen you have to treat your spouse as china fine china they're special they're unique it's it's precious it's not like everything else that you have you can't treat your spouse the way you treat other people men let me break this down do you treat your wife as one of the guys do you burp around her do you use crude jokes around her to use foul language around her because she's not one of the guys she's she's special ladies do you treat your husband as one of your girlfriends what is that do you just talk and talk and talk and expect us to talk in return your spouse is your most prized possession and most cherished friendship so you need to treat them accordingly he said they're equal in worth but we're different in our roles and you need to treat them differently number five is marriage is a new beginning now i know that i'm going to offend some of the mamas in the room but i don't really care i'm an equal opportunity offender so i'm just going with it marriage is a new beginning the bible says we leave our parents and we cleave to our spouse if you can't support yourself or another human being you should not be getting married because most of us want the benefits of marriage but not the responsibilities that come with it you know that one of the the number one needs that a woman needs in a marriage is financial security she doesn't be rich though money is a down payment she just wants to know that you can take care of her and the kids and you shouldn't be getting married if you can't support each other financially we leave our parents and we cleave to our spouse and he's like oh pass it down here you go be in old-fashioned listen my wife and i made 12 000 a year before taxes while we were both in college without health insurance for six years and we made it we lived on love and pumpkin pie and granny's cooking on friday night when we called her said granny can you make us something nice oh okay okay okay because mama's i'm gonna pick on you you need to cut the apron strings you're not helping them you're actually hindering them from growing and maturing as adult yeah but he's my baby duh he's not a man yet he needs to become a man because you're not teaching them how to fly they're getting fat in your nest our kids should not live at mom and dad's bed and breakfast forever i understand they might have to for a time but not all the time they got to go through some tough times i'm trying to protect them no you're not it's what develops character it's what develops dependence upon the lord and dependence upon one another and you're never teaching them to rely upon one another if they keep relying upon you because now they're gonna run back to you every time there's trouble and they're not gonna depend upon each other every time they're turning and i'd be honest with you guys i often wonder who you really doing this for because i don't think you're doing it for the kids i kind of think you're doing it for you you would never say it no no no you're too mature for that but you like your kids being under your control and as long as you keep giving them money or they're living under your house guess what they're under your control you would never say that but the truth is you kind of like it but nature teaches us the opposite raise them and release them you ought to be like the giraffe bird that kid and then kick it out the door that's what a mama giraffe does baby eaglet she raised that eagle and then she throws them out the nest and then she tears up the nest so they can't fly back home that's what i'm doing my kids i'm already telling them right now listen i when you move out i'm turning your room into a naked bomb bomb room you ain't going to want to come back they already scared already making suplex and plans right now marriage is a commitment it's not a date it's a commitment and commitments change your life you can't get a dog without something in your life changing amen i got a dog a couple years ago and now every time we leave the house who's gonna watch the dog who's gonna feed the dog can the dog get out to go to the bathroom do we have water inside the dog you can't even get a goldfish without something in your life changing why do you think you'd get married and not to sacrifice a few things have you ever thought that maybe that's why commitment is lacking in today's world it's too easy 21 of men and 11 percent of women will admit to infidelity in their marriage anything less than 100 commitment is not really a commitment you can't be partially committed to someone i can't call miss amy and say hey i was 99 committed to you today and she'd be happy with it and jesus taught a lot about commitment in relationships in luke chapter 14 large crowds i love when the moment i can see the glares and mama's looking at me right now but i don't care large crowds were traveling with jesus and turning to them he said if anyone comes to me and does not hate father or mother wife or children brothers and sisters yes even their own life such a person cannot be my disciple and whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple because suppose one of you wants to build a tower now he's given a practical illustration for the relationship example won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have if you have enough money to complete it for if you lay the foundation or not able to finish it everyone sees it is going to ridicule you saying this person began to build and wasn't able to finish jesus said before you get into a relationship with me and he's using this with him to to talk about other relationships you need to count the cost why because all relationship experience hardships relationships are hard work amen life can be a grind and marriage can be monotonous it's the same thing over and over again you're not going to have a perfect marriage but you can get progressive every day or progress every single day because the word itself wed comes from the word weld it's a heating up and it's a banging together of two precious pieces of metal and the day that you got married the pastor warned you ahead of time he said for better or for worse he's warning you ahead of time in front of christ in front of the church and your peers one of you is going to go crazy so you need to count the cost what's the cost personal sacrifice marriage at its core is a serving contest it's we before me because most marriages today have an eye problem and the difference between untied or united is all depends upon the whether where the letter i is placed and on the day that we got married we stood in front of the church and we said i do do you know what our spouse heard us say i will then you went home and you said i won't how many of you have ever okay you probably haven't said it but you've thought this i didn't sign up for this what expectations and everybody comes into marriage with expectations whether it's from your family whether it's from your friends whether it's from tv and when those expectations go unmet and causes major problems so jesus says before you go about entering into relationship you need to count the cost and you need to choose someone whom you willingly are saying you're worth it to me and i'm going to put down my own needs i'm going to put your needs in front of my own i'm going to carry my cross i'm going to lay down all these desires and once that i have because i'm willing to meet yours because you're worth it i've counted the cost and you're worth it i'm not talking about anything immoral or illegal i'm just talking about serving each other selflessly because that's what we said we would do when we said i do jesus went on and said this he said as they were going along the road someone said to him i will follow you wherever you go. and this man looks at jesus like hey this looks fun i mean we'll hang around you we're going to see miracles multiplication of fish is loads you're going to walk on water people you're going to be raising people from the dead i want to be a part of that and jesus said hold on a second here foxes have dens and birds have nests but the son of man has no place to lay his head he said dude you don't know what you're signing up for you don't know what you're talking about this is more than just a good time you have to deny yourself and your plans and your ideas and your agendas and at times let me just tell you right now this relationship you're going to feel lonely and in this relationship you're going to feel defeated and in this relationship at times you're going to feel discouraged so jesus said before you commit to this relationship at least know what you're shining up for and then he goes on he said to another man follow me but he said lord permit me first to go and bury my father but he said to him allow the dead to bury their own dead that's kind of rough but as for you go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of god now at first look this man's request seems pretty reasonable listen my dad died and i need to go bury my father it was a jewish responsibility to take care of their parents but look again at this reply he says lord permit me first lord me first what would our relationships look like if our goal was not me first but you first what would our marriage look like if our goal was not to be pleased ourselves but to please our spouse above ourselves not not out of duty but out of opportunity i love what the apostle paul said he said do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit rather than humility value others above yourselves looking out out to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others is it is your marriage to china or is it china now yeah china is is it's a high price that's expensive and that's why jesus said you've got to count the cost ahead of time and then the apostle paul when he was writing to the church of rome he said oh no one anything except love because many of you here today and say i i don't owe you anything i don't owe my spouse anything i don't owe another person anything yes you do if you're a child of god you say that you love jesus and you say that jesus is in your relationships you owe them your life why but you because you signed a covenant and you made a commitment to christ and to church and everybody else you said i will love you as long as i shall live and i am pleasuring to you my love as long as i shall live now love when it's done christ-like and it's done in a godly way it is powerful and it does protect and it does provide and believe it or not it actually brings brings pleasure and i want all of you to have the best marriage possible because 91 of you you will be married at some point and a great marriage is possible but it's not likely if you're not willing to count the cost if you're not willing to commit to this person above all else and to meet their needs in front of your own and you know the greatest paradox of marriage is is that when you're meeting your spouse's needs willingly and joyfully all of a sudden they want to meet your needs but when you're fighting about who's going to be right nobody wins so here's the thing in here today i know that there's some tense relationships and we talked about divorce a few months ago back in june there uh there's some uh biblical examples of that in the book of malachi that we we talked about so i understand some of you are just in a bad situation and you it's bigger than this i get this i'm not i'm not breaking everything down to something that's simple i know they're complex not everybody's doing well my encouragement is don't look for perfection look for progression just get better every day and how do we do that it's real simple abc admit my sin and my selfishness we're all selfish people and if we would just take responsibility and understand that hope begins when we realize the problem is starting with end you see i have the power to initiate change i can't change you but i can change me and that's where it all starts i can get better i can be selfless and i can say today i'm not here to be served i'm here to serve and i need to admit that today that i have a selfishness problem number two is i need to believe that god can heal my marriage peter said love covers a multitude of sins hope deferred make it the heart sick but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life god can change your marriage and god can do a great work in your marriage i really believe that and i need you to believe that today too and number three is abc commit to give god and my spouse my best i'm not gonna fix you i can't fix you i'm gonna fix me i'm gonna worry about me and i'm gonna put god first then i'm gonna put you next and god's gonna honor this in a way we never thought possible how many of you can testify that god can do that in your marriage if you put him first then you serve your spouse god will do remarkable things you resist the proud god resists the power but it gives grace to the humble father we come before you today and we are thankful for the example we have in scriptures you told us to love our spouse the way you love the church that starts with us men to say listen i'm going to serve my wife and i'm going to serve my kids and and i'm going to put them first i'm going to make sure their needs are met and they feel safe and secure in my home and my presence and lord we're all selfish people i repented my selfishness and i know that we all need to say hey listen we haven't always loved honorably and we want to do that today we commit our marriages to you we commit our church to you lord and god i pray that you work a miracle god i believe you're a miracle worker we talked about this being a house in miracles and i pray you'll do that and we all make the commitment today god we're going to put you first and i'm going to ask you to bless the rest it's in the mighty name of jesus that all of god's people said amen amen amen thank you pastor daniel i love what he said is a quote that he used in his message i bolded this underline this wrote this uh send out a smoke signal because it was that good it says marriage is not designed to make you happy it's designed to make you holy that is so true and so good pastor daniel just thank you so much for that today my name is pastor perferio i'm the next gen pastor here at the church i want to say welcome i'm just so glad that you chose to celebrate jesus with us today if it's your first time here we want to get to know you on the way out we want you to stop by the blue tent it's our new here start here tent we have a gift just for you and it's an opportunity for you to learn more about us but maybe you've been here for a while you want to take that next step you want to get connected we encourage you to stop by the orange tent it's our connection tent it's a great place for you to sign up to volunteer just take that next step sign up for baptism just figure out what you can do to become an owner and someone who contributes here in mountain view um and last but not least i do want to remind you that this saturday is our marriage conference we're so excited for that my wife and i yeah we're all right let's do it yeah he's like yeah yeah marriage conference my wife and i we're excited for that we're signed up and we hope to see you there if you're not registered i encourage you to register today you can go through the app you can stop by the orange tent there's also some stickers qr codes on your seat that you can scan on your phone and it'll allow you to register for the conference um it's going to be fun we're so excited to do that we put an intentional event a potential day just for you so we'll be there and we hope to see you there as well well thank you so much for hanging out with us today we're praying for you we hope you have a great sunday and i'll see you next week

Channel: Mountain View Church

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Id: sngi8xXcdjg

Length: 78min 59sec (4739 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 20 2021