Welcome To Mountain View Online

[Music] hey what is up welcome welcome to mountain view what's up everybody how you doing rachel i'm doing great how are you jeff i'm doing fantastic it's sunday we're here together with our church family online and in person i'm excited it's gonna be a great day yes it is going to be a wonderful day and we are so excited that you are joining us today and we want to know where are you guys watching from drop it down in the chat let us know you could be you can be on vacation right now you could be you could be uh driving in the car hopefully you're not driving someone else's um wherever you are maybe you're in person you're like i'm just gonna pull up online let them know i'm here in person let us know we'd love to know where you're watching from because we get to it kind of it encourages me to see people from all over the world right all the states everywhere so make sure you let us know yes now next week next saturday we have marriage oh it's going to be so good it's going to be so much fun if you guys are not registered i strongly recommend to register me and my husband are registered we're ready you guys are registered and it's going to be an awesome time it seems so much fun uh this saturday from 9 until three you don't want to miss it uh phenomenal time we're gonna have guest speaker and we're gonna do some breakout sessions there's gonna be uh lunch provided it's gonna be awesome so make sure you register at nv.church forward slash events or on the app yeah it's gonna be a great day and a great way to invest in your marriage and that's always a great thing to do you need to take someone you and your spouse why not do a day date and come to marriage conference invest in your marriage you will not regret it hey we want to talk a little bit i want to kind of commend everyone whether you're online in person all of you for your generosity for several reasons um but one recently we just had launched our season of generosity right yeah so september was uh these blessing bags yes i'ma tell you something you would have incredible you know what happened last week we were gonna do it for two weeks right we're gonna have some bags and you guys took all of them they're gone they are gone we have been a blessing to over 200 people in the valley speak through the blessing bags make sure uh you if you got your blessing back still continue to bless people with them where if you see them doesn't matter who they are just give them a bag and say hey we love you uh it's a great way to reach out to our communities but you guys made that possible you did all of them that was awesome incredible incredible and so you know if you have one of those bags when you're out you know you see someone like def make sure you give it to them and it's going to be incredible what god's able to do through all of that it's amazing what god can use through a single act of kindness what are you going to do through that so make sure you bless someone in our community hey so since we are ahead of schedule generation october let's do that let's just go on to october and it is our hope women's center outreach hope women's center is an organization here local in arizona uh it is a a place for women to come uh where they need assistance uh so we offer throughout the year we're doing things for them through our outreach program and you guys through your generosity as well this this october we're going to be doing um uh some some toiletries and some personal care items and so you can go to nv.church forward slash events um or the app you can see the list there everything to bring in outreach as well the outreach page on our website you can see a list of all things we're going to be taking donations starting in october i want to give you a little uh sneak peek so we actually did a little interview with them let's check it out so here at hope women's center we are able to serve women from all kinds of background we see women that are in a crisis situation they could be a domestic violence an outcome pregnancy it could be poverty and they come here for our services we provide an education program a mentoring program and also a material assistance program the women come here and take classes our classes can be anything from life skill classes to bible studies we do domestic violence angle management parenting classes for them mom support groups when they go to classes or go to mentoring they receive points and that's where a material assistance program comes in those points get accrued on a balance sheet for them and they can come in and shop in our boutique and our boutique is stocked with gently used women's clothing children's clothing baby clothes shoes purses toiletries well mountain view has been an amazing partner with us you guys once a year you help us with a christmas drive we you guys help us with the toys for christmas and then mountain view does donation drives for us we've had i think you guys have done two images before with food drives we have diaper drives so we're definitely we wouldn't be here or wouldn't wouldn't be able to to provide for the families that we provide if it wasn't for churches like mountain view i love it so incredible and that is you know because of you guys and what um you guys are able to do and help with hope wins women's center absolutely the generosity that our church has towards not only uh what happens here on sundays but all throughout our community is amazing we want to thank you for that make sure you grab your list hey celebration is about to begin let's go come on get up wherever you are we're ready to celebrate let's celebrate and worship jesus together hey mountain view we are so excited to see you here in the room and online we're going to worship together we're going to invite heaven into this room today because it is a good day to worship together let's sing this out [Music] and love and compassion and justice and mercy found a home the god [Music] come on all over this room let's sing this together [Music] and this is our freedom living to glorify the sun [Music] there's so much [Music] is [Music] [Music] oh let your kingdom come come church let your will be done in us [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] oh jesus christ [Music] is [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] our god is great and we get to step in to this [Music] [Music] your hands on future remains the promise is made long before us today and forever the same and you never change stand before whatever comes these are your glory [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] let's go [Music] and praise [Music] [Music] is you are worthy foreign [Music] [Music] [Music] the fountain i drink [Music] oh he is [Music] [Music] you are good [Music] [Music] oh he is [Music] oh yes [Music] is [Music] you are good [Music] oh you are [Music] [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] you're never gonna let me you are good [Music] me down [Music] you're never god is [Music] [Music] come on church we're gonna declare this again you are good come on you're good come on let jesus hear you you are good you're good you are so good [Music] oh come on church list your voice if he's been good to you church in just a moment we're going to continue and worship through a time of giving and what i wanted to do today is just take a second and can i be vulnerable for a minute is that okay so the next song that we're going into it is house of miracles and even though we didn't introduce it uh during our miracle month it still brought me back to that season which for those of you if you're joining us for the first time or haven't been here for a very long miracle month takes place in february and what that looks like is we spend 21 days in prayer and fasting asking god to show up and show off in our lives as we get ready to take a second and lay down a sacrifice a gift of finances that we've been praying over for that period of time and we ask god to move in mighty ways and a lot of times he moves right then and there that same week or some that same month some might be praying for that for years but we still get to see the fruit of what happens when we give over in abundance by what god has blessed us so as we were preparing to to go into this season we were in week one and for me my family personally something happened where the car that i was using to drive the kids to and from school uh started having issues and we would stop at a stoplight and just keel over and it's kind of older it got in an accident before i had had it and so i don't want to take it into a shop and i said god would you provide a vehicle for us and within that very week one of our family members was selling one of their vehicles it was a very nice van that was well taken care of and we offered him a little bit of money for it and we were scared because there was a number that god had placed in our hearts we feel like we couldn't say it because it was too little of a value for what the value of the car should be and so something that happened is as we had done everything we paid for we got some the title passed over as they were getting in their car and we were getting in this brand new vehicle my uncle came back out and he looks at me and says you're on and i want to bless you and we want to give you this amount of money back and as we looked just almost crying to know that it was that same amount that god had originally placed in our hearts to know that even though we hadn't taken that full step of faith that because we were there and because we were trusting in what he was doing god was still faithful to intercede on our behalf [Music] and so the thing is it's not the end of the story is right after that on the way home we're going down the freeway and um car swap there's a car in front of me that swipes left really hard and i ended up running over something that completely blows out the back tire and it's at that moment that i could let doubt and fear and insecurity let the enemy get a foothold and say this wasn't a miracle this wasn't of god this was something that was man-made but in that moment i hunkered down and took a second and proclaimed that this was god's work that he was moving already and right after that the entire thing was covered it was taken care of there was no issues and it was free of charge fast forward a couple of months this van is doing amazingly it suits our family's needs we love it it's great [Music] and then some of you uh may be aware that a couple of months ago i got in an accident right here in front of the church [Music] and the van was completely totaled and in that moment as i was standing on the side of the road looking at this van that was completely crushed [Music] the only thing besides to wonder if everybody was okay to think of is i messed up god's blessing [Music] that it was my fault that this happened that [Music] you know there's something else going on and in that moment when the midst of the chaos and the minister's trial i felt in my spirit god was saying i'm still working then i'm still moving and so as i'm sitting there uh crying in the front seat on the way to the hospital i feel him saying that and there's a little bit of peace that rushes over me and a week later is we're getting back some of the bills we find out that through the insurance that god has provided over double of what that car's value was and it paid for tickets it paid for bills it paid for us to put a little bit of something away and not only that but my friend paul here which is in the second row he was able to fix the car that had an issue to begin with and so god kept showing up and showing off in that situation even when it seemed impossible even when it seemed like there was not a hope what i want to challenge you today is is we look into giving as we prepare our hearts is that what i could have done in that moment what we could have done in that moment was taking a second and closed our hands [Music] and said i want to prepare for what's to come and i'm not going to give this week we're not going to continue to pour into it because we want to save and we want to make sure that we're okay but because we continue to trust in god that he was able to move and move in mighty ways that we didn't even expect and go above and beyond what our imaginations could even process because our god is faithful because he loves us and he sees even the smallest details and he takes care of them amen so i just want to encourage you let god be faithful as you give today there's going to be a link that comes up on your screen with all of our online giving options in our text to give options but test god today as we get ready to sing this next song when you lay down that offering know that you are touching lives know that there's a miracle on the other side of that gift [Music] will you sing this with us today [Music] is a house of worship [Music] this is a place [Music] [Music] this is [Music] [Music] is [Music] this is [Music] [Music] this is [Music] [Music] oh [Music] is [Music] this is [Music] in the name of jesus [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i still believe you're speaking to me that you're moving here [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] everything in the name of jesus this is [Music] amen what would church be if it wasn't a house of miracles it'd be just like any other building on the side of the road and i don't know about you but i come to church expecting something spiritual to take place expecting something supernatural to take place i think this is the best place i could be today because god is here and because you're here and you're hearing god's name or we're worshiping together this becomes something special it's the house of god and when god comes he brings his power with him he brings his provision with him he brings his miracle with him and i'm thankful for that today i'm thankful that i can work a worship at a church of my choice you know that the great country of the united states of america allows me to worship with the church of my choice and i'm thankful for that i think for every man and woman that serves and it makes our country what it is because it's a good one and it's a good church this is a great church and it's a house in miracles father we just thank you today that we get to be a part of this lord the miracles that josh just told lord they're so um well we don't want to say they're common but they are when you move and when people open their hands we hear these stories over and over again how you just can't out give god and giving comes in so many different ways you you give us good health and good life and great relationships and a great job and kids all of these things and we're just i'm gonna make sure that we get back and lord it's just this reaping and sowing seed time and harvest and we're thankful for that we're thankful that you know we don't have to just look at the seed we can trust that there's a harvest coming and believe that when we release things here on earth that you release things in heaven that's a great thing lord god do what only you can do today that's why we're here lord we came to experience more of you just like john the baptist prayed less of us we must decrease so that you can increase in our life so lord do that today as we lean in our hearts are pliable or our minds are going to worship you in truth does our mouth just worship you in spirit lord and we just thank you for that you're a great god and you are greatly to be praised so all of god's people shouted amen so be it god have your way go ahead and have a seat go ahead and have a seat i i want to uh take just a moment just a moment we have a special she's not a guest she's a member of our church in fact she's the oldest member of our church and i don't mean that by age i mean that by the longest member of our church who just so happens to turn 90 today [Applause] and i i love our our og members and i love those who are well seasoned and i'm standing up here on stage just a few moments ago worshiping i always like to survey the crowd i want to know what i'm going to be working with when i get up here and i look back and miss melba has got her hands raised just worshiping the lord at 90 years old 90 years old melbourne would you wave with everybody everybody turn around way back at miss melva amen 90 years old today and she joined mountain view all the way back when it was in the gazebo at johnson ranch that's almost 20 years ago uh when she became just a member of our church and owner here and still serves still serves on our food bank still serving still giving still worshipping and still supporting you see in the bible there is no retirement there is reenlistment and that's what melba has done and we're thankful uh for for her birthday today 90 years old man now i'll tell you what talk about goals hashtag goals 90 to be able to do that hey thank you mel we love you melva and it's so good to see you uh today i see you all the time but especially today hey listen we started a sermon this year's as we call it squad goals and we're just talking about you know all of us have a squad in life and and we talked about being single and and really um dating to mate you know dating and mating and hope that maybe that gave you a new perspective if you're single in here uh and looking for your uh your mr right and hoping you're not wrong um you know all of that stuff uh did it did it help anybody or maybe it helps a grain care or something you could pass down did you enjoy the single ready to mingle um i was i was curious because uh you know i told you that miss amy said to me last week that she'd like to get married again and i was kind of struck by that like i hope you wanted to get married with me because she didn't you she had to qualify her right but then i was noticing that during the messages i said hey if you're single or you know hope you get married one day write notes and all the married ladies were getting out their pencils and papers like whoa why y'all taking notes about being single and then you know don told me kids kids right kids because i was i was worried tim i mean misty was taking all kinds of notes i don't know about you but i was worried for you man i always worried for you well today we're going to talk about being married and and i'm just going to talk about this from a 30 000 foot level because this saturday is our marriage conference will get really really practical and i don't want to cover anything today that we'll be covering on saturday but the title of this message is chinet or china because i don't know about you but when miss amy and i got married we didn't get china we got chinet and we still don't have china i had to borrow this because we don't have a bud that's the title of this message is china or china and we'll talk about that here in just a few moments but if you can make it to the marriage conference this week i i really uh encourage you to be here it's gonna be a lot of fun uh and it's just a you know just a one day conference you don't worry about getting a hotel though hey that'd be fun if you did make a date out of it make a date out of it uh and uh but if you haven't signed up make sure you sign up today for the marriage conference this saturday now how many of you ladies dreamed when you were a little girl or maybe a teenager of getting married to the most kind and gentle loving husband and you're just going to walk hand in hand down the beach or down the road somewhere how many of you ladies had that dream raise your hand wave at me today okay okay men men let me ask you this man how many of you dreamed of getting married one day and having sex twice a day and three times on sunday that that was your dreams yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah one more question for both men and women uh how many of you are still dreaming yeah there are a lot of expectations of what marriage is going to be like and when it doesn't meet all those expectations well there's all sorts of disappointment and hurt and anger and frustration and i know a lot of you right now have been wounded in a relationship or you're in a relationship that is in bad shape and you are asking the question today is a good marriage even possible and i believe that without a shadow of a doubt the answer to that question is yes how many of you in here today could could testify and raise your hand and say yes a good godly marriage is possible amen look around and i hope that that gives you hope today and i don't want to be cliche or hyperbolic today but if you were to ask me what has been the biggest surprise in 21 years of marriage i would say i did not think that i could love somebody as much as i love miss amy and i could say that with all honesty and i don't need the o's and ooze and today that would help but i don't need it i want it but i don't need it or that i would say this that i didn't think that i could fall more in love with her and think that she was more beautiful as time got on because we we started you know dating i was 16 she was 17 almost 18. i'm just saying i'm just saying i'm just saying uh so we've been together a long time and i really really believe that that is true like i didn't think i could love her as much i love her that i could fall more in love with her and think that she is more beautiful so i want to encourage you today those who are single or those who've been in a bad relationship or maybe didn't go the way i i wouldn't tell you it is possible but it's not likely if you don't work at it really really hard you see there's a reason why almost all rom-coms and fairy tales end with the wedding ceremony because we know what happens next in fact it's biblical you go to genesis chapter 2 and there's the wedding and the devil doesn't even show up until after the wedding because in genesis chapter 3 there's a war you see no one plans on getting a divorce but statistics say that almost half of you will uh as a 25 year old pastor i dealt with the reality of a failed marriage at first hand i'll never forget i was in my office one evening in in one of my my deacons one of the best men that i possibly knew i thought had the best marriage he had been married 35 years and unexpectedly his wife walks out on him files for divorce and runs off with another man a few months after that i was confronted with the very same thing in my own family after 29 years of marriage my mother my father divorced and i'm left with this question of why and during the course of these events i was confronted with my own relationship my own marriage and i understood that if i didn't change my ways i too was headed down the same trail because amy and i were like business partners we were on train tracks living parallel lives but not intersecting so i was confronted with the fact that the enemy was winning the battle for my attention i was like most men in my family or most men that i had known and i was focused on my career and in making money and becoming successful that i was neglecting my own wife and children i was building success in ministry but bitterness at home i was married to the church and i was dating my wife and many of you men in here today or some of you ladies you're in the same situation you're trying to make money and that's and and that's you know too honorable because you want your family to feel secure well at the same time your absence is making them feel more insecure and one day my my son said to me and if you've been here long enough you've heard me say this story i was walking out to another meeting and he was three years old and he met me at the front door and he said daddy all you do is work work work and preach preach preach and i knew that in that moment i had failed and i was confronted with a choice do i want a great marriage and what i think to be sacrificed in my career or a great career and sacrifice my marriage and at that moment i chose that i will put my wife and my family in front of my job in front of my career and i tell you what i've been extremely blessed because of it and i'm telling you when you put god first and your family second god will take care of the job and he'll bless the rest so i just want to start today at the highest possible level again we're gonna get real practical this saturday is just ask the question why did god create marriage and we're gonna go all the way back to the beginning and some of these things we've talked about before but i'll move to them quickly so we can get to the rest of it and it's found in genesis chapter 2 it says the lord god said it is not good everyone say not good and we discovered that last week it's just not good to leave a man alone all the ladies can say hallelujah because if you've got a little boy you leave them alone they will break something they will tear something up you cannot leave boys alone and a man is no different it's not good god said for man to be alone i will make a helper who is just right everybody say just right so the lord god formed from the ground all the wild animals and the birds of the sky so we had relationship with god above and animals beneath he brought them to man to see what he would call them and the man chose a name for each one he gave names to all the livestock all the birds of the sky and all the wild animals but there was no helper everybody say just right for him so the lord god caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while the man slept the lord god took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the opening then the lord god made a a made a woman from the rib and he brought her to the man and at last he's pulling out the eda james at last and what's interesting is the very first recorded words of man were sung and that's why guys with the guitar always have an advantage he's saying this to her at last boned for my bone and flesh for my flesh and she should be called whoa man he'd only been looking animals up until this point is like whoa man because she was taken from man this explains why a man leaves his father and mother in his joint to his wife and the two are united into one now the man and his wife were both naked and that's where the men say amen amen there's a difference but you know why i had somebody one time right into the church can somebody please tell pastor daniel that you pronounce it naked and not naked and i wrote back there's a difference between naked and naked naked as you you just don't have clothes on naked is you don't have clothes on you having some fun hey and there was no shame no shame in verse 18 we have the first negative assertion by god it's not good for man to be alone man had god above animals beneath but the bible says he had no one beside him so god created this institution the first institution he created on earth beside before the church and it was marriage and this is where we're going to get into some things we've talked about but number one is marriage starts with god adam had a relationship with god before he had with his spouse and you hear this quite often we've talked about i know a few times this year but we hear people say i think i found the one because to be really fulfilled or to feel complete you have to find the one the problem is another person can't be your one god is your one and your spouse is your two and that is why when jesus asks what is the most important question he didn't say love your spouse or your kids with all of your mind and all of your soul in all of your heart all of your strengths he said let the lord your god with all of your heart and with all of your soul with all your mind it is the first and greatest commandment and the second is love your neighbor as yourself and if you're not married but hope to be go back and listen to last week i need to tell you seek the one while you're preparing for your two don't look for the right person become the right person number two marriage reflects the character of god within the godhead we have the trinity god the father god the son and god the holy spirit they're working in connection in complete harmony and through this relationship we discover hey god is a relational god you see god created man to be in a relationship with him well then man sins well thankfully god brings the covenant he restores the relationship man sins again god brings circumcision hopefully reconciling the relationship man sins again god brings the law redeeming the relationship man sins again god sends jesus to reconcile to restore and redeem the relationship once and for all and that's the story of the bible god is repairing and restoring and re reconciling his relationship with man marriage is an example of the way that our relationship would be with god and life will never make sense until you first have a relationship with him so then you can develop deep relationships with one another and that's why dr gary thomas said marriage is not designed to make you happy it's designed to make you holy he was created to give us a picture of god's character his nature and his relationship towards us and that is why it is so important the relationship that we have relationships that we have represent him well all right let's move to number three marriage starts with companionship you see notice that god took a rib from adam's side he didn't take a rib from his head that she should be above him not from his back that she should be behind him nor from his foot that she should be beneath him but from his side signifying that she should always walk beside him because eve at this point could do for adam what no other creation could do and again he had a relationship with god he had a relationship with nature but this was the first time that somebody could do for him what he could not do for himself she was just right she was a help mate she was a companion and she fit like it made sense now i do need to stop right here and say i understand that the word help mate for some of you it's been misused and for some of you it's been abused but this term helmet is the very same word that is used to describe god many times in scriptures it does not mean inferior it does not mean secondary it does not mean less than it means fully fitting and fully adequate to come alongside and help in fact it's one of these that used to describe the holy spirit's paraclete one who comes alongside and help and eve could come alongside and help adam be the best adam that he could be adam didn't need an aide adam didn't need a servant he already had that the animals for all of those things he could do all of those things by himself what he needed was a companion he needed a friend and needed a helmet that's why in the most romantic book in all of the bible song of solomon 5 16 she says everything about you is desirable you are my lover and my friend you see the most romantic book of the bible she makes this most amazing claim not only are you my lover but you're my friend and your marriage's success or failure depends on the friendship that you have developed with your spouse one of the most respected sociologists of her day did a study and found the determining factor and whether a spouse feels satisfied is by the quality of their friendship you see a happy marriage is based upon a deep friendship now here's the problem friendship looks completely different for men and for women let me give you this example men are shoulder to men shoulder shoulder to shoulder so what does that mean that means we have we our friends are the people that we can share an activity with we want to do something together we want a teammate we want a a co-worker we want a a golf partner or a fishing buddy side by side we don't want our relationship to be face to face say we're talking about we don't discuss emotions and if we do you will not be my friend i don't want anyone texting me saying how are you feeling today is there anything wrong with you it seemed like you gave me the cold shoulder don't ever text me that if i know that i'm going to have an emotional conversation or a feelings based conversation with a man i will avoid you like the plague don't leave me hanging up here man am i being right i mean i don't ever have a conversation i feel i don't care how you feel i know that's bad that's bad tell your friend girlfriends how you feel just just don't tell me i don't really care see i know that you were gonna like me today i know how this is gonna be men are gonna leave me all alone up here today am i right yes like is that just weird is this weird tim it's just strange you gave me the cold shoulder yeah i did who cares i don't know i don't know women on the other hand let's just move on we have another end they're not one to side side-by-side relationship now they may have it but they want a friendship based upon conversation you know they they want to go to lunch together and they like do you want to go to coffee with me and then they would go shopping and they don't buy anything they don't want they want face to face time and they love talking about feelings and emotions and they just talk and talk it's just keep talking i have a little girl if you don't have a little girl like you guys don't know what i'm talking about like she just gets your friends and all of a sudden like they talk in this i've never heard my daughter's voice get to this octave before it's just it's just it's loud and it just it's it's cheerful and it's got the word glee attached to it it just goes on and on and on because for a woman the road to the heart is through the ear but for man it's through a shared activity and watches watches which is men have physical affairs it's the adrenaline rush women have emotional affairs it's the intimacy and a husband wants someone that they can experience life with so ladies you need to find out what that is and you need to do it he may want you to go gotham with him you're like i don't play golf no but you can ride in the cart with him he might want you to go fishing with me like i don't fish no but you can bring a book and you can get a sunken while he's fishing now i get an amen now i get an amen i didn't know that was what it took you see what i'm saying like i don't like football no but you can buy his favorite team's jersey and you can just wear it while you're pinching on the couch all he wants you is just to be there and man she wants you to talk to her she wants you to look her in her eyes and i know this is like the craziest thing in the world but they want you to touch her in a non-sexual way i didn't even know that was possible still trying to figure that out but ask questions listen for tone of voice and body language they are not a problem to be fixed but a person to be listened to and if you want your marriage to last you create memories together and then you talk about those memories because that's how it started you remember when you dated you could like talk for hours you know what i'm saying like i don't like to talk on the phone but for some reason when miss amy and i were dating we we didn't text we didn't have that back then we just talked for hours you started out as friends and the only way you're going to last is if you stay friends and that's why verse 25 says they were naked and they were unashamed because to be naked in marriage is not just naked bodies it's naked personalities it's infamous intimacy means into me see she felt no shame because she was truly known and accepted for who god made her to be not just what she looked like it was a true friendship developed by getting in front of one of them and just sharing activities and sharing vulnerability with one another number four marriage is a gift from god you see other than jesus your spouse will be god's greatest gift to you and as his gift to you you should accept their strengths as well as their weakness because i think that if you can if you can answer this question then it will change everything or if you ask yourself this question and it is this do you believe that your spouse is a gift from god because if you do it changes everything peter peter's a rock and peter's a a rough and tough guy like yeah i really love the story of peter because it reminds me so much of the the men that i've known in my life you know they've got that foot and mouth disease and and they just they do stuff that you're like why did they do that and they're very aggressive and you know they'll just chop people's ear off and things like that that's why i love peter and he says this though he says husbands must give honor to your wives treat your wife with understanding as you live together she may be weaker than you and some of the olders will say it just uses that word weak she may be weaker than you but she is your equal partner in god's gift of life and when you read that you're like oh physically weaker you know i'm a woman to hear me ruler and that's not true you don't know that's not what he's saying the weakness that he's talking about here does not mean what we think it means it means unique it means special because when many of you got married how many of you i don't know if this is still a thing anymore but when you got married you received china as a gift oh yeah so mickey you guys can receive that awesome go ahead how many of you see like it was it maybe it was a heirloom or maybe somebody bought bought this for you and i'm not lying y'all think of lion we did not get china we got chinet that that's just the way that it was china to me is uh i'll be honest with you it's a weird gift and somebody's gonna tell me here because you're not allowed to use it except for a special occasion and we men have no idea what that special occasion is because for some reason it's used when your parents come to the house but it's not used when my parents come to the house i'm trying to figure out like when is a special occasion it's not treated equally here you don't use china as common cut cutlery am i right it it it's special it's treated differently than the rest of your chinet and what peter is referring to in this moment and he says hey listen men i need you to treat your spouse the way that you would treat china in your house it's precious you you put that on that you look at it differently you you take care of it you present it differently it's special it's not like everything else in your house so he says man i need you to not treat your wives like one of the guys you don't even know what that means do you burp around your wife do you say words or crude jokes around your wife the same way that you do around the guys in the locker room you don't treat your wife as common she's she's unique and she's special and she's a masterpiece and you need to see your wife she's not just a piece of chinese she is a piece of china you need to see her in that unique way ladies do you treat your husband the way that you treat your girlfriends what does that mean you talk and you talk and you talk and you talk and then you ask us questions do you understand what i'm saying do you feel what i'm feeling i feel no no no no no you don't treat us the same way and if you view your spouse as your most prized possession your most cherished friendship you treat them differently and here's what god said you're equal in worth but you're different in your roles it's a companionship that's that's different let's move on number five marriage is a new beginning now i know and now i'm going to upset the mama's in the house but that's okay i really don't care we leave our parents the bible says we are to leave our parents and cleave to our spouse if you can't support yourself or another human being you should not get married because we all want the benefits of marriage but not the responsibilities of marriage and one of the number one needs that a woman has is financial security she doesn't want to be rich so that that's nice she just wants to know you can take care of her then you should not be getting married if you can't support one another financially we leave our parents and we cleave to our spouse now amy and i made twelve thousand dollars before taxes we were both in school on opposite side the states we paid for our school we paid for a wedding and we survived on rain and noodles and pumpkin pie but we survived if we could survive for six years we didn't have health insurance we didn't have anything but one another and granny's cooking whenever we called her and said are you cooking tonight i'm telling you this you leave your parents you leave to your spouse mamas you need to cut the apron strings you're not helping them you're hindering them from growing and maturing as an adult i knew it'd get quiet you're not teaching them to fly if they're getting fat in your nest once your kids get married they should not be living in mom and dad's bed and breakfast forever i once don't want them to go through rough tough times what do you think develops character and love for one another tough times i knew this is going to get so quiet up in here today it's what brings them closer together and teaches them to rely upon one another if they don't rely upon one another they're gonna keep relying upon you and guess what they're gonna keep running back to you every time that there's trouble to be honest i often wonder are you really doing this for the kids because i kind of think you're doing it for you you would never say it but you kind of like them being under your control oh oh nate doggy better help me i'll get to get rough up in there today you like telling them what to do and if they live in your house you kind of still get to tell them what to do they're still under your control nature you got to learn from nature be like the mama giraffe burn them and kick them just get them just get them out are the mama eaglet she throws them out of the nest and then she tears up the nest like you ain't coming back here nature says i'm going to raise you and i'm going to release you that's why first thing when my kids move to the house i'm getting a naked bong gone room they ain't going to want to come back to that room i'm telling them that right now they already scared they're like 16 making exit plans right now because marriage is not a date it's a commitment and commitments change your life amen and i got we got we had a dog a couple years ago every time we leave the house we have to ask what's the dog going to do what we going to do with the dog you can't get a dog without changing something in your life you can't get a goldfish without something in your life changing why should you not get married and not have to sacrifice a few things and commitment is what is severely lacking in today's world and we're trying to figure out why 21 of men and 11 percent of women will have an affair in their marriage listen anything less than 100 commitment is not really commitment at all i can't tell miss amy i was 99 committed to you today it didn't work that way jesus taught a lot about commitments oh i got to move on i got to move i'm already offended everybody in here today that's all right i'm an equally opportunity offender and i'm good large crowds were traveling with jesus and turning to them he said if anyone comes to me does not hate his father and his mother his wife and his children brothers and sisters yes even their own life such a person cannot be my disciple and who does not ever and whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple suppose one of you wants to build a tower when you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it what would happen if we actually asked ourselves that question before we got married can i afford this for if you lay the foundation or not able to finish it everyone who sees it will ridicule saying this person began to build and wasn't able to finish jesus said before you get into any relationship you need to count the cost because all relationships experience hardships life is a grind marriage can be monotonous work is the same thing over and over again you're not going to have a perfect marriage but you can progress every day the word wed actually comes from the word weld it's a banging together after you've heated up two pieces of metal that's a wedding for you in fact when you got married the pastor said the day you got married for better or for worse he was just warning you ahead of time one of you is going to go crazy so you better count the cost today so what's the cost personal sacrifice you know what marriage is if you say what is marriage i'll give you it's a serving contest it's it's we before me because most marriages have an eye problem you know what you've heard me say that in your marriage can be united or untied it all depends on whether i is placed and on the day that you got married you stood in front of the church and you said i do you know what your spouse heard you say i will then you went home and you know what you said i won't how many of you have ever said or heard someone say i didn't sign up for this for what well you both came into marriage with expectations from your family from your friends from what you saw on television and when those expectations go unmet it causes major problems and jesus says you got to count the cost you choose someone whom you are willingly putting their needs in front of your own it's part of carrying the cross he said i i will meet somebody i will lay down my wants lay down my desires and i'm willing to meet your needs instead of my own i've counted the cost and you are worth it to me i'm not talking about anything anymore i'm not talking about anything illegal i'm talking about serving each other selfishly because that's what we said we would do when we said i do and as they were going along the road someone said to jesus i'll follow you wherever you go and watch this this man was like hey this thing looks like fun it looks like fun following jesus people are gathering around you jesus turn around said hold on here a second foxes have dens and birds have nests but the son of man has no place to lay his head jesus says hey man i know this looks like a great time and this looks fun but you don't know what you're talking about this is a whole lot harder than you think it is because if you're going to get a relationship you have to deny yourself and deny your plans and deny your ideas and deny your genesis and at times you're going to feel lonely at times you're going to feel defeated at times you're going to feel discouraged so jesus said before you commit to this relationship you need to know what you're signing up for and he said to one another follow me but a man said lord permit me first to go and bury my dead my bury my father but he said to them allow the dead to bear their own dead but as for you go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of god now this seems like a reasonable request doesn't it hey my dad died do you mind if i go bury my dad but i want you to look again in his reply i think we have this in the notes lord permit me first and then you kind of drop the permit lord me first what would our relationships look like if our goal was not me first but you first what would our marriage look like if our goal was to please them not not out of duty but of opportunity paul said do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit rather in humility value others above yourselves not looking out to your own interests but each of you to the interest of others how do you view your marriage is it china or is it china now yeah it's a high price and that's why jesus said you need to cut count the cost before you get married paul said at this point he said oh nothing to anyone except to love one another because i've heard people say this in their marriage they say i don't owe you anything yeah you do if you're a child of god you owe them your love why because you signed a covenant and you made a commitment to them and as long as you both shall live you have a debt of love that is owed towards them now love when it's done correctly is very powerful it protects it provides it gives pleasure and i want all of you to have the best marriage possible because 91 of you will get married at some point and i want to say it is possible when you're honest and you count the cost now i understand in here today that it's hard to meet everybody's needs and everybody's expectations with one simple sermon i understand i'm not negating what you're going through and i'm not telling you go back and listen to a conversation we had in in i think it was july about divorce and all those different things we had those conversations go back and let's do it i'm talking about i know there's going to be some tense relationships and i know not everyone is doing well and you can't look for perfection but progress just get better every day but here's what we all need to do and number one is this i need to admit i am sinful and i am selfish it all starts when we take responsibility hope begins when we recognize the real problem is within because now we have the power to initiate change i can't change you but i can change me and i can get better every single day how by making this conscious decision to say you're worth it to me you're worth me serving this is not about me being served because the great paradox is if i meet your needs you're going to meet my needs that's a great paradox but in this moment i'm selfless i'm selfish i'm sinful and i just want to say i'm here to serve you number two you got to believe that god can heal your marriage love covers a multitude of sins and you got to believe the best is hope deferred make it the heart sick but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life that's what proverbs says god can heal your marriage today number three you need to commit to give god and your spouse your best i'm going to fix me before i start to worry about we but i'm going to show you humility and if i will show you humility god's going to give me favor he resists the proud but he gives grace to the humble so i'm gonna put god first and then i'm putting you next because my kids will move out and i hope you don't go with them and i'm gonna make sure that you don't father we come before you today and we admit we're sinful we admit our we are selfish and we believe you can heal our marriage today and we give you our marriage as we give you our lives god we put you first and then we're making the commitment to the best of our ability to serve our spouse god we thank you we love you we thank you for treating us the church as the bride you've already you've already set the example you died so that we could be set free and that's the example that all of us are to follow it's in jesus name we pray and we ask these things amen and amen amen amen thank you pastor daniel for a challenging message today i love when he said i wrote this down because this was really good it wasn't your quote but he stated this quote it says marriage is not designed to make you happy is designed to make you holy that was so good volvid underlined that one i hope that you did too my name is pastor perferio i'm the next gen pastor here in mountain view and i just want to take a quick few moments to first say welcome if this is your first time here we want to get to know you want to get to meet you and we encourage for you to stop outside at the bluetooth it's our new here start here tent we have a special gift just for you and it's a great place to get to know more about us and the church maybe it's not your first time here maybe you've been watching online for a while you've been attending and you want to take that next step you want to get connected we encourage you and challenge you to stop by the orange connect connection tent it's a great place to sign up to volunteer sign up for our next baptism ask questions sign up for an event or maybe sign up for the marriage conference which is coming up this saturday super excited for that that's right my wife and i were so excited to go to the marriage conference and we hope that you join us it's going to be a great time we've created a very intentional day for you and your spouse to come together to play together and learn together and just have fun with your spouse someday so we want to see you here i will be here and i hope to see you here stop by the orange tent sign up through the mv app you can register if you're watching online you can still come to the conference if you're not here today so we hope to see you there this saturday well thank you so much for joining us today for this great uh time to celebrate jesus together i'm praying for you we're praying for you every single week and we're praying and hoping to see you next sunday have a great day oh

Channel: Mountain View Church

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Id: lYrGS3jVYP4

Length: 73min 53sec (4433 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 19 2021