We Went Back To School...

[Applause] [Music] today we are going back to school mr simons get your ass on that seat right away i'm your substitute teacher for today my name doctor james hilton phd what does that stand for that is pretty huge [Music] [Music] 25 sir why are you still here [Music] and sub subscribers most people find me annoying at first please do come to the subscribing real world weekly this is not my time to self-promote get down now we have an important examination no one likes a beggar you know not homeless beggar type i just need someone who's got no issues with the homeless the teacher yesterday you said you hate them um pencil where's your where was it going where's your buddy [Music] that's a pencil isn't it it's not a pen this is a piece depends oh god help me tell me what this is before i shove it up your backside we're not supposed to bring religion in the classroom he will see everything that i do to you charles if you do not shut that lip okay that's you if you lose this pencil you're going to be that what i have some exam papers we will be doing five levels to today's examination do not spoil your exam paper if you spoil this i swear on jehovah you will fail this and i will personally walk you into the english channel do you hear me the act of the brighton city the english channel yes it is cold somewhat the point you could argue it is the very crux of this video you can today our first exam english charles why is your tie in your mouth i told the thais taste good i believed it sir describe the flavor two words tangy earthy welcome to english that was an incredible description [Applause] it's impossible for us to create any kind of technology to assist us with spelling so it is of the utmost importance that you know how to spell words so today's english w-o-r-d-s [Music] i was fairly witty i'll give you that one wilbur funny as well as big english language exam will be focused on your ability or inability to spell we'll start on this side charles yes hey yes [Music] do you want to feel the sea around your legs causing over your soft soft little body because if you do you're you're on the right path that is the first question of the exam and that is that is a failure i'll be coming back to you tom simons i would like you to spell bussy [Music] yes please sir smell my [ __ ] [Music] [Music] i double x correct uh freddie i'd like you to spell you demonic uh can i have a used in sentence please the teacher's decision to give such easy words during the spelling exam had a eudemanic effect on all of the candidates [Music] does that make you feel big does that make you feel big and important minus one freddie now that leaves us currently the ones that are failing at the moment yes will tommy wrote cue yourself charlie wrote it literally he said bye charlie hi wilbur kill yourself [Music] outside of class and what does this mean this chad [ __ ] what's so funny about that chad [ __ ] something funny about it that's just what they call me describe it what is it next science science we're going to be testing your most natural scientific tool in your mouth i'd like each one of you to come up one by one starting with charles pick a beaker choose wisely good [Music] you should have got a letter from my mum i'm not allowed to take part in sciences anymore she says it is of the devil of the devil your mother does plenty of things that i would consider of the devil do i get here right now and pick one of these bloody pigs [Music] yeah the last speaker is yours right almighty i am sorry because jesus [ __ ] christ you need to identify the two ingredients in each of your beakers stop trying it's sweet smells sweet fruity i think i'm gonna go for a taste i'm gonna need two flavors salt salt salt i don't know if the other salt you said very close can i touch it sir [Music] like a jelly bean like jelly i'll give you one point cher it was peach peach that was salt and peach peach is one of the most obvious fruits to identify [Music] jesus christ oh you're [ __ ] dude oh my gosh uh ginger ninja spice spice ah ginger spice that's a spice girl spice let me refer to my sheet that is jalapeno and mango zero fruits for you tommy for that you have to take it i said spice jalapeno is not a spice yes it is teacher bilzo you just looked at me directly in the eyes and i was impacted in the head by a pencil did you see that i have cataracts [Music] that's a great there's a great flavor it's a great flavor you've got there that's a great flavor teacher is it grapes it's charles i don't think this is in the bible sir no it's not a bloody god i'm not allowed to do this fine put it down down give [Music] oh [Music] [Music] [Music] oh my god is that close sir [Music] where's the card ready the other flavor [ __ ] i know gonorrhoea or some [ __ ] credit timeout [Music] drama nothing is more important in the modern world than the ones ability to successfully mask the truth ready get yeah i need you to fulfill these roles thomas you will be your fellow classmate wilbur all right hi i'm gilbert i suck yes hello sir [Music] well this is this is news to me thomas gets in front of us now freddie you will be an attractive hunky sexy masculine teacher substitute teacher doctor you are to be a rock perceiving the events going on you are to be my the teacher's [ __ ] wife who would who would seek to prevent love in all forms [Music] again with the students are you [ __ ] serious we have actual kids that [ __ ] need you and you're here [ __ ] off this guy's a league he isn't he yeah he is me look at me hi my name's audrey [Applause] that's two points for freddie oh [Music] i need everyone sit down i need everyone back in their seats back in your seat stop fighting [Music] you always make me stay and watch you the special students have golden time well three strikes and you're out of this room so girl help me shut up shut up oh i have your mouth in my hands [Music] do you hear me we're on to exam [Music] why this item is so undeniably important to you yes in the toilet nope nope can you go to the toilet who him no can i i need to pee i don't care okay i'm just going to go that's fine can i go with him nope can i go no i'll piss myself good boy should i pinch it up that's absolutely fine have you ever considered turtle heading your shits never mind thomas if you'd like to come up and present your eyes this is a photo oh claude lion bose who's this my um grandmother don't say that yeah she was a stripper oh yes sushi was sheffield [Music] she said i just want the pain to stop was she with the lord no she was in the hospital bed she's with the lord now but no she's on the ground you'll be with her again she's in the crowd let me show you something about death class this is the grandmother claudia got old claudia got a disease incurable claudia [Music] that will happen to each one of you that's my only remnant of claudia she's garden tom yeah you just smashed her top for the first do not throw anything at me i can take you somewhere of the school where you can learn more about that no we don't take anyone to our spot well the challenge [Music] [Applause] i want you to show us this incredibly important object why is this important to you charlie it means a lot to me this is my father latif with some where'd you find my teeth in the mouth sorry why yo he looks like sir i don't know he was like sir what do you think class it looks like you if you were younger like if you were more attractive and younger and different yes every day i just play um a burr could burn adam to myself uh sing it for us a bird [Music] adam and i pretended me adam keep going adam [Applause] [Music] get back into your seats [Music] well that was quite nice where does this come from i did drugs okay okay uh i guess we'll move up exam d um art each of you have a palette in front of yourselves i have here some paints paint brushes too charles would you call me i don't go by that anymore what do you go by chad [Music] okay so in today's examination you are required to demonstrate your artistic ability by capturing the beauty of me is that understood you have seven minutes time begins [Music] come here down here i wrote drugs because i did drugs okay this is the creature [Music] the creature is wet don't close your eyes i might have to pray for this charles this is this is exceptional work two points for you charles fantastic thomas uh stand up present your piece it's probably dog [ __ ] this is your surprise that's disgusting it's horrible yes give him two points yes charles well stand up present your peace this is you if you were jesus at the crucifixion jesus is sad why is jesus because the romans have pinned him to a a torture mechanism i'd like to offer a small correction the creature says god died and we just forgot well the [Music] [Music] by my parents [Music] [Music] and finally no that is not relevant exam e design technology using the words provided create something thought-provoking what what what is that using the wood provided i was provided drugs and i did them use it i would provide it create something thought provoking [Music] why don't we turn this desk into a work of art yeah [Music] using the wood provided christ a lot of you are trouble i've given you marks i'm gonna need all of you to hand in your papers these nuts i had one rule do not spoil your exam paper i said that was an instant look at this hobby spoiled wilbur spoiled freddy these are testicles charles where's the paper you know what that means don't you get in the sea the rest of you into the sea now the ocean the english channel the coastline right boys off your pops back to where you came from the sea there they go be free my children now what did you learn i don't know i don't know quite frankly neither do i pass this fist [Applause] am i in school

Channel: Tom Simons

Views: 4,553,642

Keywords: tom simons, tommyinnit, vlog, tommyinnit vlog, tom simons vlog, tom, simons, fun, slimecicle, wilbur soot, school, school video, tommy school vlog, We Went Back To School...

Id: 6kRjQqG_KTc

Length: 21min 31sec (1291 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 11 2022