Breath of the Wild! This most ambitious of Zelda games pits Link against perhaps the most difficult challenge a young man can face: feeding himself. Up until this point, Link has been surviving
on Lon Lon Milk, potions, and Grandma’s soup, which means his bowel movements must
be pretty wack. Link can cook now! And not only CAN he cook, he SHOULD cook,
because these recipes replenish the hearts needed to survive in post-apocalyptic Hyrule. But looking at some of these recipes and ingredients,
it makes me wonder... is Link a good cook? Are you seriously telling me this hot mash
of mushrooms and fruit is going to completely heal his wounds? Survival is all about using the items you
have at your disposal, but the food Link can cook and the ways Link can cook it make me
pretty skeptical about how beneficial they'd be. And when I’m skeptical, I research. Today, I will be cooking every single recipe
from Breath of the Wild, and reranking their heart bonuses based on how yummy they are. *80s music plays* Yummy! I don't think I've used the word yummy since
I was six. As always, we start with the parameters. If you were to choose every distinct iteration
of food you can cook in Breath of the Wild, there would be HUNDREDS of recipes for me
to cook. Not only is that unfeasible for me to do in
a timely manner, it is unfeasible for me to eat in a timely manner without sending me
straight to the hospital. So we're trimming! We’re cutting all the variations that modify
your stats. No normal steamed fish vs. mighty steamed
fish. No matter which type of fish I put in a dish,
I’m not gonna get any more ripped. I'm just gonna have a different fish in me. We’re also cutting the dishes like “Baked
Apple” which are just an ingredient coming in contact with a fire. You don’t have to be good at cooking to
do this, you just have to be good at arson. We're also gonna cut our inedible foods. I don't think I'm gonna have to seek out creating
dubious food. That's just gonna happen naturally. I’m also cutting the gourmet and prime versions
of recipes. Judging by the pictures, it's just more meat
as opposed to better mean. Also, Polygon won't expense Wagyu beef for
me, so... WHATEVER. And speaking of quality over quantity, we're
also cutting the copious versions of recipes. The single ingredient recipes are also out
of here unless they are actively transformational like an omelet or honey candy. But most of these recipes are just putting
an ingredient over heat. Ooh, look at Gordon Ramsay over here, making
WARM MILK. And finally, we are cutting all of the recipes that include monster parts, because we all know the true monster… is man. And cannibalism is frowned upon in New York. Now that we’ve narrowed it down to 78 recipes,
let’s talk ingredients. Some of these recipes need specific ingredients,
others are more vague, like asking for “any fruit.” Which, can I just say, is not how cooking
works. Obviously, there’s room for creative substitution,
but when I can make the same fruitcake whether I use an apple or a durian, a fruit that smells
like turpentine and wet garbage, that feels like a weird loophole to me. And it's a loophole I'm going to exploit the
hell out of. Link doesn’t have the luxury of getting
a wide variety of ingredients, so I too will use the fewest number of ingredients possible. Obviously, some of them have very standard analogs in the real world, but others are a bit weirder. As far as the cooking goes, we're going to
be keeping it as true to Breath of the Wild as possible. We will not add any ingredients not listed
in the recipe. That includes salt and pepper! *realizing that he will have to eat 78 unseasoned meals* That's gonna suck. But I'll be a little bit lenient with myself. I will add a neutral oil or water to recipes
that might require it, because I'm going to be cooking in a wok or pan for most of these
recipes, and if I don't put a fat in there, everything is gonna burn. And that’s it. 78 Recipes. 33 Ingredients. Now all we need... is a kitchen. And luckily, our sister site Eater was willing
to lend me theirs for a whole day because they have obviously not seen how these Unraveleds
go. Of course, they wouldn't let me in without
a chaperone so we have Eater's very own Zelda expert, Adam Moussa joining us. Do you know what you've signed up for? - Ah, I don't know, let's cook some food! We'll be fine. - Good, I'm psyched. You can see there is quite a lot of food here
today, but we do have 78 recipes to get through. And we will be cutting down on food waste
by cooking them all as if they're like tasting menu. - Just little tiny portions. - Mmhmm, yup, also, we are two mortal men,
and eating 78 full meals would kill us. - Oh my god. - What are we making first? - Let's cut open a pumpkin. - Oh my god, yes! In Zelda it's called a Fortified Pumpkin. And this definitely is a huge-ass fortified
gourd. And I think that makes sense for us. Also if I can't be accurate, I sure as hell
am gonna be extra. And with our mission statement set, we got
started on the prep work for the whole day, planning out our meals, discussing what could
be pre-cooked and combined later, and striving to fix any inaccuracies in the recipes by
making them as extra as possible. We also planned out our ranking scale. We will assume that 10 hearts is a full recovery. A dish that is amazing will receive a 10. A dish that is terrible and closer to dubious
food will receive a 1. In the rare case that a dish is transcendent,
we will reward it with hearts beyond the scale. And unfortunately... - There... there could be some food today...
that will harm us. And in that case, that's a negative. We chopped up the calabaza gourd and roasted
it so it could be easily incorporated into other recipes. And though we promised to make most things
in the wok, we did decide to roast a few things like the gourd and the chicken, because link
doesn't have to worry about things like food poisoning. - That's a Zelda game I want to play, where
you can get food poisoning. You can get salmonella. Would it be cheating if we finish these in
the oven? - No. After deciding that our health was slightly
more important than being absolutely true to the game, we got the chicken baked, the
mushrooms sautéed, carrots roasted and chopped. You know, cooking. - That's cooking, baby! We got the steaks fried. Got the windows open because the oil got a
little smokey, but you know, that's totally normal, we're all professionals here. - Hey David Chang, do you want me on your
next cooking show? *pan sizzling* Turn away. No one needs to see this. If people expected me to come in here with,
like, perfect cooking skills, that's not true to Zelda! What I'm saying is I'm roleplaying right now. - You're roleplaying a dude who was asleep
for 100 years. - Yeah. - Again, I feel very free that we're not trying
to make it good, just cooked. Our failures fully justified, we finally started
preparing the first dishes, which were the four rice balls and five different curry rices. These just used our standard rice that we
prepared on the back stove, combined with one or two of the other prepared ingredients. None of these had salt. - We starting with the curry rices? Or the, uh... - I'm gonna start with a ball. - Alright. - I'm gonna go with the mushroom first. - I'm gonna go with the carrot. - Hmm. Unseasoned rice in an onigiri sort of ball
is... bad. - Yes. - I suspect yours is slightly better than
mine 'cause of the flavor of the mushroom whereas this is just... carrot. - I'm gonna put this at a solid three. Hmm. Okay, the meat flavor is good... is more there. - Same here, the salmon really, really lifts
this one up. Could use salt. - We'll be saying that a lot today. I would say that that's a four in hearts for
me. - I would put mine, well I'm gonna put the
first one at a two, put this one at a three. - Cheers. - Cheers. *worried laughter* - That's just a... that's
just a mush. - That's some spicy mush! The chicken is really lifting this one up
so I can't imagine how you're doing. - Now I'm gonna put this on dubious food scale,
I think. I think this is gonna be a solid one heart. Why'd I have another bite of this? - This one? It's a two. - I'm gonna say this is a two. Hmm, is it better than... maybe I ranked 'em
too high. Those rice balls. Maybe I have already screwed up my ranking
scale. - Very good sweetness from the pumpkin. - Unseasoned meat. Poorly seasoned rice. That's a one and a half. - What is next on the list? The first tasting done, we realized we had
spent over an hour on nine of the 78 recipes we needed to get through. - We are looking for speed over quality. So we kicked up the speed and decided to get
all of the risottos and the steamed AND salt-grilled recipes done. I watched a video online about how to fillet
a porgy and then I proceeded to do a spectacular job. - Holy shit he made it look so much easier
than it is. Please don't do a close up of this. Pat: You're actually doing really well! - This is looking great. - Hm... I mean... compared to what, Patrick? Compared to what am I doing this well? The porgy prepped and everyone fully supportive
of my great work, we started our steamed recipes, which call for the main ingredient plus any
herb, vegetable, or flower. So we just used carrots. While those steamed, Adam began working on
the risotto. We cheated by using pre-cooked rice because
we didn't have the time. - This isn't even cheating, it's just doing
it wrong. - It's just doing it completely incorrectly,
yes. Finally we could use salt. The salt-grilled recipes are just adding salt
to whatever main ingredient. We had some extra time while waiting for the
food to steam, so we prepped the basic "cream of blank" soup stock. - So I'm just gonna put some carrots into
some milk with some salt, and I'm gonna keep it on low over here, does that sound good? - That sounds terrible. But not everything sounded terrible. We got to use a lot of goat butter in the
risotto, and all of the salt-grilled food literally sounded good. *pan sizzling* - Hoo! The meat was browning nicely, the risotto
was looking creamy, and the beautiful aromas were almost enough to keep my mind off the
fact that we still had 60 recipes to finish in roughly six hours. - Doing this in this kitchen feels like a
sin to me. Our second session of recipes were done, with
the steamed recipes looking... not great. But the salt-grilled ones looked very nice. So I basked in it. - We really relished the first taste test. Now? This is business. - Steamed raspberries. - Just hot raspberries. It's not bad. - Yeah. - Seven hearts. Ready? One, two, three, pull! - Ooh, this is, this is incredibly tough. - Not bad! - Seven hearts. - This is the grayest looking meat I've ever
seen in my life. *muffled* oh my god. *sirens blaring outside* - *laughing, mouth full* oh god. It's like almost to beef jerky in its texture. - Oh my god, it's so dry. - Half a heart. NO! *Adam laughs* Ohhohoho no... - Steamed porgy! *exasperated laugh* - It looks so bad... It looks so bad! Ohhhhhhh no. It's tender. That's something I can say for it. I mean... - It's better than the steak. - It's better than the steak! One heart! - I'm coming back in for a little bit more! - NO. Risotto time. Uh, let's start with the standard, the mushroom. - Ooh! - Mmmm! - That's good! - Adam! - Butter and salt. - Holy shit! That might be a transcendent experience. And maybe it's just 'cause I went SO LOW two
minutes before this point. But I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna give it three
hearts above. - Wow! I did add some salt to the carrots 'cause
I could. - Also good! - Still not terrible. - Nine. This'll be a nine. - Crab. - The salt and the butter, man. - They do it. Stick this down at a six. - Salmon. That's good! That's a good dish! - That's really good, that's a 10. Still think that one, because of the experience
of coming into something so good is plus three, but that one's 10. I'm gonna start with the greens, which is
carrots. Not terrible. - Got some nice char on there. - I'd say a six? - Yeah. A tough as hell mushroom. - But the salt puts it above the steamed. So whatever I gave the steamed mushroom, I
give it one more heart than that. - Crab. - Crab. - It's great. It works. - Mmhmm. Eight. The salmon now. Not the worst salmon I've had. - I've literally eaten worse salmon at restaurants,
so. - Eight? - Yeah. - I'm taking this chunk with the big piece
of fat on there. - Ooh good choice. *not bad* *not bad* - I cooked it too long, but at least I cooked it over a thing that isn't steam. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'd say it's like an eight. - Yeah! - Our camera operators went out to grab lunch,
but we have the full bounty of food right here. This is our cream soups that we created using
the basic carrot stock. Okay, bottoms up. - Yeah, cheers. - Mmm. - Um, chunky. - Chunky. I'm just gonna have, I'm gonna try the next
one. MMM. Oh the crab... does not mix well with the
carrot. What about the chicken? - Milky! *Pat laughs offscreen*
- Good yeah, it's... we're just drinking milk with carrots in it. Let me try the pumpkin, let's see if it's
any different. Nope! It's the same. Can we just give a, a one for the whole group. - Yup yup yup. - It's stuffed, uh, pumpkin, but we don't
have the time to roast a full pumpkin and stuff it with meat. - No. - So instead we took our roasted pumpkin and
we just put some chicken in there. - Just right in there. - Three hearts. - God I miss salt. - I'll try the herb. - And I'll try the crab. - Yeah, that's... that's a carrot and curry
spice. - *quietly* fuck
- And let me try the mushroom for you. - Oh my god! *gasp* No hearts! *laughing and coughing* fuck! - There are quite a few things that are just
"glazed something." And I know normally what you would do is you'd
put it into a pan and then you make it a glaze. You'd, like, cook it in that. But we don't have the time for that. So we're just gonna dip the thing into honey... And see what happens. - That works. - That's the last of the steak that is cooked
and we don't have time right now, so... That's a sweet meat! It's a sweet meat that we've got right there. It's fine. Um. Five hearts. - Glazed mushroom. - Glazed mushroom. - That's a... that's a sweet mushroom. - The style points are off the charts! - *quietly* that's a sweet mushroom. - That's good! That's six hearts! - Okay, well I'm giving the mushroom four
hearts. Alright, do you want to bring the whole porgy
back here and I'll scrape a little bit off? - Mmm, you know if this was something other
than a steamed porgy, that would have been a really lovely shot right there. If you say more than three hearts I'm firing
you. - I just taste, like, honey... OH there's the fish. *Brian, Pat and Clayton crack up* - Okay. Two hearts. Two hearts, two hearts. - Dunkaroo right here. Ten hearts! - Yeah, that's full recovery. - Good to have a good thing for a change. Riding that high, we embarked on the next
set of recipes. We had 37 done, 41 left to go. This session required a lot of milk, as we
were making the roux for the stews and the batter for the crepes. Unfortunately, the crepes did not call for
any butter. - The browning is minimum, but I'll tell you,
from touching it? It's hard. It's been cooked. Also unfortunately, we didn’t have time
to let the different ingredients hang out in the roux for stews, so we had to add the
final ingredients to what was essentially a cream sauce. - *gasping laughter* Look at this *gasp* cream
carrot... *laughing* - I'm not even gonna plate the mussels. You ready to do this? - Let's do this! I bet a lot of chefs would say, "Hey, you
know what could have made this better, if you made the roux and then let the ingredients
be in it to infuse the flavor." - Yeah, that does... - And that's why most chefs are wrong. Pumpkin first. Pumpkin stew. - Okay. Let me try this with you. - Mmmmmmm... - That's a fibrous pumpkin. - That, you know... it doesn't taste like
stew. It tastes okay, though. - If it had some salt in it, again... - Yeah. As it stands, three. Now, you, um, you see this obvious meat stew. - There is.. this is a very meaty stew. - Mmhmm, yeah. Now that is milk and meat. Together at last. - Yeah I'm gonna eat the long boy. Oh, it's still crunchy. Drip. Alright. *laughing* It's very drippy. It's fine! - It's fine! It's carrots and milk... - It's milk and butter and flour and carrot! - Now this looks like it could be clam chowder. - Can we get in close enough on the... - Granted it is... this is mussels instead
of clams but whatever. - That's not bad! - That's not bad! - That's pretty fucking good! - Two. Two. Five! - Wow, no, those mussels are really... they
work well! - We've got three crepes here. One that is plain. One that is wildberry. And one that is honey. Hmmmmmmmmm now that does just taste like undercooked dough. - Let me get in on this honey one. Does the raspberry improve it? - Yeah, mostly just 'cause there's raspberry. It doesn't make the crepe any more palatable,
though. - Oh! We got some strong honey. - I was really looking forward to this. I was, like, this sounds like it could be
a good crepe. So I'm kind of disappointed. This a four, I'll give this a five. - Five for the honey as well. What are we cooking now? - *sigh* Something good I hope. NOPE! It's wheat bread time. Which only has two ingredients: wheat and
salt. The lack of yeast means that there is absolutely
no way we could make something that looks like the video game picture, but that gave
us more freedom to make something a bit quicker. Like fried bread. So we threw that in a pan and got to work
on the pie crusts. We have to make quite a few pies in a wok,
which, again, makes it impossible to create something that looks like the video game pictures,
but Adam’s trust in the hand pie tradition gave me hope. We chilled the dough, rolled it out, and stuffed
them with the fillings before popping them back in the fridge to chill before frying. We also prepped the honey candy by heating
it up, popping it in a pan, and cooling it in the freezer so we could eventually pull
it. And then it was time for every omelet. The beauty of these recipes is that they basically
have all of the parts of a normal omelet, which gave us hope that these would turn out
alright. Because even I can’t screw up a fried egg
over rice. - I'll tell you what, Adam, we've made something
that looks actually kind of okay. - I'm very proud of us. - Well let's taste 'em. Okay? I don't want to get ahead of ourselves. - Yeah I don't want to jump the gun. Okay, where are we gonna go? - Let's start first with perhaps the most
beautiful thing we've done. Pat: Oh daddy... - We're gonna have to throw this away 'cause
Pat said "Oh daddy" in an audible space. That's good! - That's really fucking good! That's a 10! - That's a 10! Now, this is just a plain old omelet. Solid eight. - This has salt, butter, and some mushrooms. *big ol' bite* - MMM! *happy stomp* I do NOT regret taking that big of a bite! AH! That's a plus three! So this one could have had greens in it but
we just went with carrots. Mmm, no, the carrots are hard. - And they don't really have any flavor. - Mmhmm. Five. Shall we break into this really *laugh* good
bread that we made? - I feel like I'm holding a Ritz cracker right
now. - Maybe it's the fact that most of these meals
haven't had salt, but this is fucking good. - This is great! - This is really good. - It's just fried bread. - Patrick, have a piece. Pat: That's good! - It's good! Clayton. Clayton: Oh damn! - This is good! This might be the best thing we've made. Pat: Can I have more? - This is the only thing we've finished so
far. - Plus five. - Yeah. - That's... that's the best thing we've made. This is a crab omelet over rice. I think the big takeaway is that breakfast
food rules. I want to put this also in the pluses. - I wouldn't do that. I wish we had more bread. - I wish that, too. I'm gonna say this is a solid 10, though. So we still have about 26 recipes to get through. It's 4:30 and we have to be out of here by
6:00. We left some of the hardest recipes for last. We're gonna take some liberties. *Pat laughs*
- Okay! Sadly, those liberties were not taken with
the Creamy Heart Soup, which is just a hydromelon, a voltfruit, a radish, and some milk all blended
together. Delicious. But the hand pies were chilled enough and
ready to be deep fried. The first ones came out great! The later ones started to fall apart a little
bit, but hey, they were cooked, and we had no time. We also got cooking on the spicy dishes, which
were just habaneros or Goron spice over the other food we prepared. - So we're in crunch mode. We managed to make 11 different things in
the past 20 minutes or so. Uh, that being said, not all of them are great. - Our pie dough sort of fell apart while we
were frying it. - Mmhmm. - Theoretically we would have liked to have
baked it, but, you know, time. Raspberry hand pie. - Okay. That's good. That's really not bad! - Tastes like pie. Very flaky. - Yeah, very good. Nine! - Think you're being really generous there,
but... - Yeah well I have to be, okay? - Fine, fine fine fine. This is literally just pie dough, pumpkin,
and sugar. - Not what I would expect from a pumpkin pie,
but not unpleasant. - I mean, it has no spice. - Yeah. Seven? Eight? - Seven works for me. - Okay. So this one didn't have so much fun in the
fryer. - Yeah, it sort of split apart midway through. - I just got dough there. - I got some apple. - Four. - Theres a chunk of apple here if you want? - No. - Savory! Over here is the fish pie. Tastes like burning. - Yeah. *Pat laughs* - I don't hate this. I'm gonna give this a seven. - Okay. - I would eat more of this if I were hungry. - Alright, I get it. - This is the meat pie. That's not bad. - It works, it's the meat. - It's the meat, the meat is well made in
that one. Solid eight! - Yeah. - And then finally, we were asked to make
an egg tart, and as you can see, it didn't go so hot when you try to make an egg tart
in a wok. I'm gonna say, without trying it, a negative
one heart. - Yeah. - Which of these terrible concoctions do you
want to eat first? - I think I'll save the soup for last. - Hmm! I inhaled some! *Adam, Pat, and Clayton laugh* - Let's go with the spicy seafood. - I'm gonna give this a two. - I'm gonna give this a six. - Really!? - Yeah! - Before my mouth, like, totally succumbs
to the burning. Mmm! That's good! That's good steak, good peppers! That's a nine from me, baby. - So this is just honey that's been heated
for a while and becomes harder. It's hard to break apart, and also we couldn't
pull it because we don't have enough time. It's honey. - It's honey. - So I can't say it's bad. But I also don't think I would sit out in
the countryside cooking honey. - If I want something sweet, it's one ingredient. - That's... okay. Alright. - You know what, I'm coming back for more. - Five! - Yeah. - Well now we get to perhaps my favorite meal
of the whole day. And it's got a watermelon, a radish, a dragon
fruit, and milk. So. Shall we? - Cheers. I don't hate it. I really don't. - I just wish it was something else. - It's chunky. - Okay, on the second sip, I'm coming around
to it. If I had four ingredients, out in the survival,
I would not put a watermelon, a dragon fruit, milk, and a radish into the same thing. - Yeah, well I would eat them separately,
because this is less than the sum of its parts. - Yeah. 10 out of 10. With about an hour left on the clock… things
got hectic. Eggs were flying, rice was frying, and I had
the unenviable task of deciding how to make an egg pudding without having the time to
steam, chill and make caramel for that pudding. So... I just cracked an egg into a pan and put sugar
into it. Pilafs, check! Fried bananas, check! Every version of two ingredients haphazardly
thrown together into one dish, double check! There was no more talking. There was only cooking. Until we had to make the cakes. We decided to make pancakes, because, again,
we had to do these in pans. But the fruitcake… oh, the fruitcake posed
a challenge. So we chose to cook that one last while we
got ready to eat everything. - Oh! That looks like a beef patty. *everyone laughing* It looks so... *breaking
down* - We just cooked a fruitcake that looks like
it'd be served at McDonalds. Let's start with the meunières. So there's seafood, salmon, and porgy. The seafood meunière, which is just crab
in there, it's just one step short of a crab cake. So I would say, I don't know, like a seven. - Yeah, I'll put the... the... - Porgy? - Porgy! At a... at a six. - We're so tired. Worse than the crab, I'll give this a four,
but it's still pretty good. - Yeah, I can really taste the flour. It's seafood, it's rice, there's some salt
on it. - Hmm, you can tell that we cooked this first,
it is ICE COLD. - Five! - Okay! - I like these mussels. - Spicy meat and seafood fry. Get into it. - How are the peps? - Not bad—Oooh! HooHOO! - Ooh! - Four. - Yeah. - This is the seafood paella. - Oh yeah, it looks just like paella does. Look, this is one of three things that have
five different ingredients in it in all of Breath of the Wild. But none of them are necessarily what makes
a paella, namely saffron. - Well yeah, there's no saffron in Breath
of the Wild. That's not bad! - Not paella, but not bad. - I'm gonna give it a seven. - This is the meat and seafood fry. - Yeah yeah yeah. - It's the same thing as this without spicy. So we've already had the good version of it. EH! - Wow, that is somehow even colder than anything
else we've eaten so far. - Two. - Fair. Pat: You guys feeling pretty full? - We've had seven dishes really quickly. - I'm feeling upset that I've eaten like 70
dishes so far. - We've only got 10 left, and one of them
is this, and we can look forward to... - STOP POINTING TO IT. - Beef rice bowl! This is good. Nine. - If it was hot it would have been a 10. - Yup. - This is the poultry pilaf. - Okay... It's warmer than that so I like it more. - Yeah, same. - That's a 10. - That's good. - Next up!
- *under his breath* oh fuck. - This is the curry pilaf. - It's like crispy rice. I think I fried the rice a little too hard. - But it's good! - That's a nine for me. This is egg pudding, what's in this? - Well that's milk and sugar and eggs, and
we didn't have the ability to do a real egg pudding, so I kind of just made sweet scrambled
eggs. Oh... oh no. It's so much a food I expect to be one way, and
it is SO not that way! - On first bite, it like coats your mouth
in these tiny curds, and it's just very unpleasant. Negative... six? - *laughing* This will hurt you so much. Let's have something that's slightly better,
namely mushrooms and apples. *everyone laughing* - What the f... - This is our hot fruit and mushroom mix. I can, I can take one for the team and just
have this. - We both gotta suffer. - Those do not blend together. - That's very... two distinct flavors. - They are... at war in my mouth. - Better than the egg pudding. - Oh for sure, still a negative one. - Thank you, something that's good, this is
fried bananas. Mmm! If they were still warm, that would be unbelievably
good. That's a plus four. I'm realizing now that all of the things that
Link should be eating are gonna, like, kill him, and they're just carbs, and, like, this
is a bad thing. But! Plus four. No doubt. Hot buttered apple. Not bad! Uhhhhhhhhh, nine. - Oh, alright! I was gonna go down to like five but sure. - I was imagining it still warm. - Okay! Seven. - I just am so full. Just go ahead and break that in half for me. - Could have used more sugar but... fine. - Yeah. Eight. - Yeah. - Oh my lord. - Alright, come on. Two more. - Mmhmm. Worse than that. Still a six. - I'm, I'm sorry, I feel like this, this fruitcake
is, like, staring into my soul. I... It looks too much like me. Pat: What the fuck did you do? - Exactly what it told us to do, Patrick! Uh, it looks like a slice of brain. I will put it out there. Here's the thing, we don't have to worry about
it being raw because there's no eggs in it. The last one. We can do it. - Please don't ever ask me to do this again. - Okay! - You know? It could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse. I don't want to swallow it, but... - Yeah, it could have been way worse. My big thing: keep your fruits out of my cakes,
I just want a super sweet cake. I was never gonna like this. But I'm not gonna give it a negative. I am gonna give it one heart. It's dubious at best. - I haven't swallowed mine, but... That's bad. - It bad. - That's bad cake! - Adam, now that we have eaten 78 of Link's
very own recipes, how do we feel? - *sigh* I feel like I can't distinguish tastes
anymore. I feel like my taste buds have just been shot
to hell. Um. I do have a newfound understanding and appreciation
for Link in Breath of the Wild, cooking all of this on the fly. - Yeah, this was a real challenge. I'd say what I learned here is that Link is
definitely a better cook than I originally gave him credit for. Uh, some of these were actually very tasty. That being said... Stick to what you know, Link. Don't try to make fruitcakes. Don't try to make egg puddings out in the
wild. I think you've got your fried egg and rice. That's delicious! Stick with it! - You've got a wok, you've got a flame, why
are you steaming things? Don't steam things! Do one thing well! That's all you need to do. - Never change. Stick to what you know. - Never try and improve. - Don't try to get better in life. Those are the things I learned today. And I think the big thing is that it could
have been worse. - It really could have been worse. - Not the worst salmon I've had. - It's not the worst thing! - Not the worst! - Could have been worse. - It could have been worse. - Could have been worse. - It could have been a lot worse. - Yeah, it could have been way worse. Could have been worse! - It must be so nice to have a cooking show
where, like, all of the ingredients are prepped for you. - And somebody's cleaning up after you. - And someone's cleaning up after you! And the recipe you're cooking is a good one! Pat: And not 70. - And also not 78. That must be nice.
I love this man and his shit eating grin
An actual mealtime video
Great video, a shame they were constrained by time. I feel like a lot of the recipes would have ended up better if they had the time (and the budget) to cook them to their potential.
Why did they decide "Goron Spice" was curry powder? I feel like it could have been a blend of spices probably even containing salt...
Literally watched this during dinner earlier. Great post! BDG’s energy is a thing of beauty.
god damn I love BDG
When I saw "Polygon" and the gimmicky nature of the title, I thought "Is this BDG?" Then I smiled when I expanded the video and saw that beautiful face.
Seriously, stopping using the crazy titles of the videos and just write "Brian David Gilbert made this video" as your post title, and I WILL CLICK ON IT GUARANTEED.
I wonder if this doubles as an Iron Chef audition.