We Eat Half-Century-Old Rations

this episode of the modern rogue brought to you by hawthorne head on over to hawthorne.co use promo code rogue at checkout and get 10 off your first order keep us in business not for nothing but we're starting one hell of an adventure we had expired mres from 25 years ago and by we i mean mostly me the tang was black that's fine we ate food that was alive during the bush administration how far back can we go all right double or nothing the 1970s too far how close can we go it's happening my guts weren't alive then please don't we will oh it's it's happening all right brian i am ready yeah okay all right these are authentic uh what what ebay is that what happened here these are not mres sorry mres did not go into production until like the late 70s 1980 these are american rations from around the vietnam war around 1973 they're called mci's that stands for meal combat individual rations okay so here's the part that i want to wrap my mind around this food existed before we were even conceived oh yeah before we even begin like like like set the scene yeah so probably nom imagine credence clearwater revival is playing a picturing fortunate sun we're sitting some jimi hendrix hendrix we're in a chopper twilight zone in the movie i'm familiar you know platoon china beach etc something like that these are the replacements for uh sea rats sea rations from world war ii so there is a very delicate science to military rations they have to be portable so that they don't weigh very much right so you can carry them on long distances on patrol deep into the bush or whatever which by the way we already see the difference because the current rations uh current being 25 years ago were closer to these whereas like the mere existence of tin seems insane to me yeah they had to make them as light as possible give you enough nutrition they had to be something that you could preserve but they also had to have enough variety so that the troops wouldn't get sick of eating the same thing over and over morale absolutely matters yeah yeah so all of these are from around 1973 from what we understand do you want to start with one of the packets or with one of the tins i kind of want to start with the packet because like like it's all the little accoutrements yeah accessory packet a and accessory packaging here i'll take it okay there you go you want me to get these yeah okay now interesting thing about how well some of these are preserved this has been sealed since before we were conceived it's like a just wrap your mind around that time capsule as we break them um army colonel henry moak in 1973 he took one of the preserved pound cakes and said i'm gonna eat this when i retire he retired in 2009 opened it up ate it dead the next day wait of of no i made that last part up he was fine oh god i wouldn't believe it either way okay things that i believe are safe i believe the iodized salt is safe i would believe that the refreshing towelette i don't know if it's still refreshing i do believe that the toilet paper will function give or take um the same thing oh the very same mattress matches it's almost like a spirit it's kind of like it keeps haunting us right cream substitute non-dairy okay this feels a little bit crusty like maybe it got some oxygen yeah national brands non-dairy creamer right here sugar seems like it would last forever got some sugar off-brand chicklets that i had helped disintegrate in your mouth yeah wait what is that okay this looks like some sort of caramel oh milk caramels yeah oh you know you have to try that you can't hate chocolate and caramel no i like caramel i mean stop everything we're beginning with this right now okay okay i don't i don't think i can do it i'm gonna open this for you and you're gonna try it i'm not i can't i can't do it no you don't want to do it no no no no no no no no i don't i don't i don't think i can the thing i'm weighing is not whether or not i'm gonna have it the thing i'm wearing is whether or not to bully you into joining me all right look uh caramels i mean what what sugar they're still kind of soft how is that really they're oily too have you ever had no no they're not supposed to smell like that they're not supposed to smell like that brian caramel should not smell like beef bouillon oh i gotta watch the babies smell it again say beef bouillon smell it beef that's what it smells like smells like beef but you're gonna go to hell for trying to get cory smell this it's beef bouillon man beef bouillon close your eyes oh wow it says here was i wrong oh that's 100 ingredients corn syrup sugar beef bouillon it does not say that it doesn't say that i don't even want to touch this on my fingers now absolutely not absolutely no it's wet ash and dead cow okay i'm going to open the wet nap so i can wipe the beef bouillon caramel off of my fingers still still wet-ish still wet-ish smell are you gonna eat it yes of course what no brian oh god no they're still soft which that's weird i expected it to be like a now and later and like pull my fillings out but what are you text your mouth field text your mouth it's very caramel like but when i talk beef bouillon i mean you got to think that it tasted better 50 years ago oh the bag bag bag just picture you just picked me why did you eat it oh my god imagine the texture and the sugar uh from caramel but nothing but beef bouillon it's as though you're biting down into a soft cube of beef bouillon i'm only gonna do two more what what what what what what why do you want salt or creamer for it or sugar something to make it not horrible did we you're gonna need the toilet paper did we kind of have the same packs give or take yeah pretty much wait so b is just a with bouillon caramels this is yeah pretty much every so often i breathe and then i can napoleon ah so i just opened the taster choice oh my god it's not good man it's a bad scene in here this is this is wrong this looks like gunpowder this doesn't even look like good gunpowder it doesn't even smell like coffee anymore yeah do we have hot water you can either have me make coffee from your taster's choice or mine this is such a terrible idea they're the same they're the same they're the same yeah it looks like that's definitely black powder uh yeah no you pick you're the one you're the only this one's consumers you're gonna do the one that worked looks worse oh brian you know what you're right brian best of both worlds non-dairy creamer and sugar oh my god this one moment i wish everybody heard what happened i lifted this up and the entire staff started to moan it looks like tomato soup dog actually actually doesn't man imagine you go to a fireworks stand for some reason there's a set of firecrackers that are labeled hot coffee and they're not referencing the mod from gta okay okay imagine that firecrackers go off yep and you're told that they're vaguely reminiscent of coffee toby that's not exactly what this smells like uh yeah those this is firecrackers burnt that that is meant to smell like hot cup i'm trying real hard to give any words that aren't exactly what it smells like imagine that somebody picked up the fired firecrackers that were called coffee themed and then put them in water and then you drank it 40 years after its expiration date [Music] no we're good definite copy passes the coffee test yeah will you at least eat the sugar i mean or or the salt the salt salt is rotten i'll have some salt okay i'll have a little salt thank you yes a rich and gracious host that that counts oh look we're both doing this yeah okay the is yeah that's salt i like that i could i could eat the salt that's good yeah yeah salt gets passed because it's literally a rock that we dig out of the ground and eat for some reason yeah weirdly adding salt made this better because at least it felt familiar i don't know how everything feels charcoalized but it really does it it's as though i'm eating black cat fireworks or whatever that's gonna be some sort of preservative or something in there right yeah that would be us making stuff up yeah but but uh that's kind of coffee right that looks like yeah all right what else we got all right now this one is peanut butter my friend my favorite part from from the mre from the 1990s now peanut butter from mci's was so oily that they would use it as a smoking flair boy that salt actually makes it much better to be honest once you add the salt here's a thing that i never would have thought it's it's almost as though you you're having just some broth [Music] peanut butter from before we were born looks exactly like peanut butter when we applied for college looks exactly like peanut butter as we go into middle age this actually smells like peanut butter why wouldn't it it's peanut butter i've been very surprised about the other things so you can forgive me for thinking okay this might smell like a male a corpse ooh yeah spoon uh you're not even surprised that not even olivia no i'm just i'm after you made the coffee i thought okay well all bets are off peanut butter is i would say identical to the peanut butter from the mid-90s really i want to know what deal with the devil that caramel made um but the peanut butter i'm 100 cool with the coffee it's just coffee with like gunpowder in it for some reason i don't know what's in a b2 unit okay so what do you think the b stands for badass bread what's funny is i thought you said brett for a moment i would love to believe there's like internally branded like hey man eat bread it's meat but no you had bee units or bread so like crackers cocoa beverage powder so uh starches exactly i mean you had d units nope dessert that's dessert i'm just going to tell you and then [Music] oh yeah they're all cherries yeah cherries desserts and breads no meat peach brian meat so these cans were just the right size and they were used for heating things up in them so not only would it be storage but the moment you opened it you now had a way to cook whatever it is you want exactly and sometimes they would use a little bit of c4 in there to heat it up sorry sorry in in the food or underneath uh i'm not excited i would imagine understanding probably probably i saw a glimpse of something oh really crackers okay i'm not gonna say any of this is safe yeah i'm not going to say that you need to appreciate things the way i appreciate things it's not going to happen i am going to say it seems like out of everything outside of the salt or whatever seems like this is pretty safe if you want to join me all right you're already this far no no that's as far as i'm going wouldn't it be a little bit tastier yeah just a little bit of a bit of a 50 year old fell apart as i tried to put that in [Music] i turned into a dolphin why did i turn into a dolphin how was a cracker this bad oh it tastes like kind of kind of chocolaty kind of kind of like there's flavors that don't belong in there yeah it's kind of like cardboard and chocolate something something bad is going on there i'm gonna it's gonna [Music] i don't have words for the the other crackers were like cardboard but yeah but yeah those are like um the 90s ones were better that's that's got some something weird it's almost as though they didn't design these to last for 45 plus years yeah there's more in there it's more in there that you put on the crackers okay but we no there's more there's got to be more in there it's not just those jokes are still in there trouble yeah what do we got nope nope oh no no no no no no no cocoa beverage powder oh no no no no because if that's cocoa beverage you know that means i have to i mean it feels it doesn't feel right let's go back to my salty yeah okay mix content with six fluid ounces water for hot cocoa add contents to hot water and stir until dissolved what is that mystery i think it might be the cocoa i think that's what i was tasting on there oh you know what yeah you already hate anything chocolatey yeah whatever yeah yeah yeah okay all right here we go thanks so super hot water thank you court can probably get pretty hot yup immediately super hot okay okay all right all right about half the cocoa oh all right that seems fine right yeah okay all right yeah i mean the cocoa doesn't look bad it smells it smells weird like kind of like kind of like a clay smelled i don't look bad no i mean yeah i heard in your voice the moment that you realized you were walking into a trap is you're like no i mean there we go what happened to what happened what is it i don't know what just happened but it was bad um i mean i was comfortable with strange and mysterious surprises but whatever the demon is that you smell in these crackers is more present here is it swiss a mist would you like to smell and verify yeah yeah that doesn't even smell kind of like chocolate it's the broken promises of spiro agnew that's as far 70s as i go comment uh below if you just googled who spiro agnew oh so hot why would they do that oh this water's not very hot at all you want hot yeah yeah if you can give me give me give me that frothy close to over over 200. kind of nothing really do you need do you need more i guess probably i got plants oh god this one maybe next to the peanut butter is the least bad i mean it's um it's got some weird odors but the taste is straight up like crappy hot cocoa i'm gonna tell you that like even back in 1973 this was all probably terrible also probably already expired yeah yeah because again the mcis were only manufactured from like 1958 to 1980. yeah this is all fine now that it's not burning me actively you're good you good with that i'm not just good my friend i'm the best oh do you want to do you want to try the gum now just it just now occurred to me that it's probably not normal to finish drinking a thing and do this i don't know what this is sort of this felt like the most natural thing to be doing is it neurologically damaged i don't know you're very red yes you're very red which one go with the green you did the white last time all right i mean it's probably the same right i ain't gonna kill you all right i already told you how it goes oh it's very hard it's super hard spearmint fish yep taking the shot too actually this one's holding up better it is holding up better but yeah so much so that i was afraid it was gonna break one of my teeth oh my god tasted okay though thank god no this is straight-up gum that has survived longer than my entire life i don't know how all this was preserved but it's not dissolving in my mouth hate these that's for some i did not expect to hate a cracker but i feel obligated to put peanut butter on a cracker are you doing the thing yeah i've got to do the thing oh god it's falling apart definitely falling apart oh a little dusting of them why not all of the cocoa powder oh no all right just tell me this much i'm allowed to take the gum out of my mouth right yes yes please overall review uh mci's from before we were born thumbs up thumbs down thumbs way down way down all the way down i mean it doesn't matter how much how good everything was gotta grab it grab it on a curve this traded on a curve this was poison i mean you're not wrong thumbs down way down but like grading on a curve it's amazing that i'm i'm not afraid to eat this whatever this is i'm genuinely concerned about you fine oh it's not bad i don't know i i may die of those meat caramels i don't know what's up with the meat caramel oh and it's bothersome to me that i'd rather have salt coffee than [Laughter] all right gang you know how this goes this is that time of the year that we all decide we're finally going to start taking care of ourselves we want to look feel and smell our best that's why i went to hawthorne.co h-a-w-t-h-o-r-n-e dot c-o use promo code rogue check out get 10 off here's the thing they're gonna give you this quiz it is a very direct quiz you're not gonna find out at the end of this quiz that you're patrick stewart or patrick swayze you're gonna find out the real solutions for the type of hair care products that are gonna make you feel great about yourself i don't know what you're gonna get in your quiz but i know i was super stoked when i saw words like mint and eucalyptus all that stuff that's gonna wake me up in the morning it's like coffee for your hair is that a new catchphrase we can give that to that one's for free hawthorne it's like coffee for your hair the quiz is serious business and so are the products you're gonna get deodorants you're gonna get skin care products you're gonna get hair care products i'm telling you it's a transformative experience oh wait did you notice i've transformed yes because while you were looking at hawthorne products i ran home and washed my hair it was an almost religious experience the ecstasy of those odors that made me feel like a brand new man the silky smooth texture that my hair took on yes it is beautiful hair i'm glad you noticed but most importantly it was beautiful hair treated right thanks to our friends over at hawthorne.co that's h-a-w-t-h-o-r-n-e dot c-o use promo code rogue at checkout that's r-o-g-u-e and you get 10 off can't guarantee that the sun will shine afterwards so or will it offer and link in the description below okay we'll find out why i can't identify that devil flavor it might be the devil devil cracker delicious let's see what else is in there come on dump it it's like the reverse of communion [Laughter] anti-transubstantiation

Channel: The Modern Rogue

Views: 229,566

Keywords: modern rogue, brian brushwood, jason murphy

Id: N1ohKteH94I

Length: 22min 4sec (1324 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 18 2020