(digital beeping) - How badly do you want to have sex? Very badly. Very, very, very badly. (keyboard typing)
(mellow music playing) - This is gonna be interesting. - How do you define virginity? It's really making me think here. - If we're talking, like, heteronormative? - It's so complicated. (laughing) The penis and vagina. - I may feel like a two-year-old talking about this right now. - Penetrative sex, whether that be dick, tongue, toy kind of thing. - You know, that's actually
an interesting question, because if you read the
technical definition, I'm pretty sure it says even oral sex is considered losing your virginity, and even kissing can be
considered losing your virginity. - Whatever you consent to is pretty much what defines your own virginity. - I'm a man of faith, so I'm a believer. I definitely see sex as a responsibility. Abstinence even goes further to that, even looking at a girl lustfully and looking at a girl in a sexual manner, just keeping your eyes pure. - How badly do you want to have sex? Very badly. Very, very, very badly. - I mean, I'm a teenager,
but I'm not a horny teenager. - I just never had the
need or want, to be honest. I haven't done anything.
I haven't had a boyfriend, I haven't even had my first
kiss. I'm not in a rush. - On the scale of how horny
am I, I'm not that horny, but it definitely needs to happen. Definitely needs to happen. - It's something I get to look forward to, and so once that moment happens, it's going to be really amazing. I hear that there's like an attachment, and I don't want to gain that attachment when I'm not ready for it. I've seen actually a lot
of drama from it, too. Me, I'm like, "Pshh. I ain't trying to get a part of that
drama." You know? (laughing) - I feel like the only
times I really actually think about romantic relationships or sex, is when I see it in a
movie, and it's like, "Aw, look at that." Then
I'm on the couch by myself, and I'm like, "Oh, that would be nice." - Why are you a virgin? Straight up, it's that it
just hasn't happened to me, in natural progression of life. - I grew up in a Christian family that believes in abstinence. If I have sex, I'll go to hell, so that's the only time
I ever heard about it. - Yes, I love Jesus, but
also, I completely know I'm gonna be a freak
when I lose my virginity, and I don't wanna unleash on
anyone who's not my husband. I'm just saying. (laughing) - I was always scared to,
just because my parents were really young when they had me, so it was just something
that I didn't want to repeat. - Me and my twin were assaulted, so I am a bit more careful
about it, I guess, in a sense. I guess I am the way I am because I've been through
what I've been through. - I'm a Christian, and I
think a large part of my life I believed that pre-marital sex was a sin. I'm in this middle stage where
I'm trying to figure it out, and reading books and having
conversations with people. As people, I think, are doing
more research into that, they're realizing that what
they believed to be condemned isn't exactly condemned. - It says, "Have you ever had an orgasm?" I'm a guy, you know. I fall short. - Do I have to answer? Can
I skip this? (laughing) - No, I have not, which
I guess is probably why I'm so anxious about that,
because I've never done that. - In school growing up,
people would always make fun of those people who were
masturbating all the time, so I thought it was something stupid, so I honestly never did it
until I was 18-years-old. - I don't think I actually
knew what I was doing, though. I just knew that I would do something, and it would feel really
good, and I was like, "I should do that more," (laughing) - So, my mom offered to
buy me my first vibrator. She was like, "Hey, so
I know you're older, and you're independent,
and you have needs. Please try to make sure it's not $200, but I'll buy you your first vibrator." Yeah, so she's amazing. - Would you rather your first time be with a virgin or someone experienced? Well, I haven't thought about that. - Preferably, someone with experience. - I mean, I feel like one of us should know what we're doing, right? - I feel like I'm fine either way. I don't know, I think there's
the whole insecurity thing. I would constantly be comparing myself to that other person's past partners, or I would be thinking,
"Am I doing this right?" - Honestly, I'd rather my first time be with another virgin, just
so I could feel comfortable that we don't know what we're doing. - I think it's more about
the person, you know? If you really are in love with them, or you really have a connection with them, it shouldn't matter. - Are you ever embarrassed
about being a virgin? I feel like the older I get, I'm already 22, so it's kind of weird, but I'm not going to lie, I do get embarrassed
about it sometimes, yeah. - There's a stigma against virgins, right? That you're awkward or you're weird or there's something wrong with you. You can't make eye contact,
you can't hold a conversation. While I don't exude any of
those things, that's not me, it's been my experience when I have gone on dates in the past
where they will take the time to get to know me and see
my glowing personality. Then they find out this piece, I think a very small piece about me, and all of the sudden, my entire being is framed by that one thing. - I try to set my expectations up front, and initially, they're like,
"Okay, I respect that." But the longer the relationship goes on, they try to pressure you. I did have this one guy call
me in the middle of the night for five hours to tell me
that Christianity wasn't real, God isn't real, that I
was being ridiculous. Yeah, that ended. (laughing) - It's so awkward. Sometimes,
if there are people around, you just try and brag all the time, kind of bragging about how
many times I've had sex. I don't even want to explain to them why, so it's better to just hit that white lie, "Yeah, I've had sex." They're probably not going to question-- I think they would question
it more if you told them you were a virgin than if you just lie and told them you're not a virgin. - Whenever we would be at a
party or something like that, "Oh, you're the virgin.
You're the goody good." I think over time, I embraced
it. It's one of those things that once you get to a
certain point, I'm 29. Shoot, if I can get to the
40-year-old virgin type thing, I'm cool with it. - Have you had the chance
to lose your virginity, but chose not to? Yes, I've had the chance. - Yeah, I've had a chance to. - No. Yeah. - No. I wasn't social and just
very bad at talking to people I'm also very oblivious to flirting. - There's always just those
people that slide into your DMs, and are like, "Hey, you
wanna have sex with me?" I'm like, "Stranger. Go away. No." - Yes, yes. It was there,
and something just told me it's just not worth it. - (laughing) It was after winter formal, and I made out with this guy. He finished, and he wanted
to continue and stuff, but I was just like, "You know, I'm okay." - Not really, because
a lot of those chances are a party situation or
you're drunk, they're drunk. It's not like it was a romantic situation, where it was super intimate
and you just missed out because you were scared. I really don't feel like I
missed out in those scenarios. - Do you watch porn? When I was younger, it was Tumbler porn, and it was, "This is
like-- is anybody watching? Close my door, lock my door. Make sure no one knows this is happening." Then be like, "Oh my gosh." - It's so awkward. I'm like, "These people are doing it on camera." - I don't watch porn now,
but I think there was a big part of my life,
everyday, watching porn. I think it did get to
the point of addiction. This constant reminding of, "This is really bad. This is really bad," and you beat yourself up about it. You're not telling anybody about
it, because you just assume that none of your friends
are watching porn. Porn is also something where
even I'm rethinking a lot. When I more lean towards, "I
don't know if porn is bad," my viewpoint shifted, I just-- There wasn't anything
I was fighting anymore, so I just stopped watching porn. - I feel like if you can differentiate that porn isn't real life
from the fact that it is, like porn is strictly
an entertainment thing. As long as you're consuming in moderation, it shouldn't be a problem. - Are you afraid for your first time? Yeah, totally. Me and someone else just being that intimate with each other and revealing that much of
yourself to someone else is just intimidating. - I am not because if I trust this person, then I shouldn't have
a reason to be afraid. - I'm afraid of it not
meeting my expectations. I think since I've had so
long to fantasize about it, I have all these visions of like, "Oh my gosh, we're
gonna be on satin sheets with rose petals and candles." I think I've amped it up a lot in my head. - I'm afraid I'm not gonna
get any pleasure out of it, because there's the huge stereotype is pleasure for the guy, and the
girl doesn't get anything. I'm pansexual, and if I do
end up having a male partner, and that happening,
that would really suck. - I did hear from friends that it's not gonna be very pleasant, and
I know it's gonna be awkward. That's why I hope it's
with the right person just so we can laugh it off afterward. - I see myself after the wedding, where it's going back to the room, and then there's this
special moment where-- Actually, this is actually
something that I think is going to be really
surprising for a lot of people, is I actually want to pray. This is going to be crazy,
this is going to sound crazy. I think it would be a
beautiful, beautiful thing to be able to actually pray. It sounds crazy, but I think
it's so beautiful. (laughing) (mellow music)
(keyboard typing)
