["Vomit in the Ball Pit" by Red Vox playing faintly in the background] Vinny (recording): ♪I saw it when I was a little kid♪ [chuckle] Vinny (recording): ♪Aaauuu-uuu-aaaa-uuu-aaa-ugh♪ Toad: Allll right! Vinny: Beautiful. Well, that's the beginning to a video if I've ever seen one. So, here you have Toad, welcoming everyone to the park, right? With "Hong Kong 97 Remastered". However, I think... I have a few... This is all memes. Don't even... ...worry about it. [Infernal Toad noises] Vinny: Much better. [Infernal Toad noises continue] Yeeeeeah. I think this is a clown bathroom? Oh, this is gonna get annoying real quick. Here at Vinesauce Land, w-we only provide quality sound effects, and [laughing] quality clowns! Everyone who comes to the park... ...is trying to go to the bathroom... ...failing... ...and then leaving the park. That's ALL there is to do here. I have, um... ...a little shrine to one of our best friends. Shut the fuck up, Toad. I-I so regret this Toad thing. Scoot looks glorious at night. So this is the Speed Luigi ride. That's been in testing for, fuckin'... ...3 weeks now. I don't even know how the fuck people are supposed to get up there. Th-There's like nothing to do on the Speed Luigi ride. Oh, yeah, look in the hat. I know-- I know what's in the hat. I know all about the dick... ...chamber. In the hat. I know. [more Toad noises] On second thought, let's not go to Vinesauce Land. Some say the park should never have existed. They were right. I-- I guess we're creating floating islands. Someone made a functional Death Star ride. [laughing] I think tall people would probably get decapitated...on this lovely ride. But it's open! Oh, wow. They...news spreads quickly. 'Bout that new Death Star ride. They're so excited, they're walking through railings to get there. This is the first ride where you have to be a certain height UNDER... ...to ride it. This is only for people who are 5 feet. That's actually pretty cool. I can't help but think of the end of The Return of the Jedi. "The Return of the Jedi". [laughing] I dunno why I'm adding unnecessary "the's", that would cost George Lucas too much money on ink for the posters. Flat turds. Oh no. Toad, please. No, no, please, leave the Toad area, please, leave the Toa-- thank you. I just told my brain to leave the Toad area, and was pleased when I-- when the brain obeyed. Oh my fucking god. Mehrio. [Italian voice] Look, is the Mehrio Land. Step right up, a-do the dance, a Mehrio hland. [laughs] [speaking normally] I hate myself sometimes, so much. [Italian voice] Step right down, do-doo-do-doot... Come on, it's time to doot the Mehrio song. [normally] Is that how it goes? [reading the chat] "Please record the Mehrio song and play it on a speaker in your park." Is this-- do you really want that? 'Cause I can-- I can do that easily. [Italian voice] ♪EHHH STEP RIGHT UP♫ ♪COME ON YOU KNOW♫ ♪KIME TO DOOO...MEHRIO TIME♫ ♪COME♫ ♪COME INSIDE♫ ♪COME INSIDE TO MEHRIO PARK♫ ♪DOOOO THE MARIO TIME♫ ♪DU DOOT DOOT DU DOOT DOOOO DU DU DU DU DOOT♫ ♪DOOO DU DOOT DUDU♫ ♪BOOP♫ ♪COME ON DOWN TO MEHRIO♫ ♪GO ON INSIDE WE'VE GOT A DEATH STAR♫ ♪COME TO SEE THE TOAD♫ ♪ᵈᵒᵒᵗ♫ [normally] See, now you've got something to look at. File export... ...so we'll call it "dootmario2". I'm actually gonna do... ...something a little different. I'm gonna put it right here at the begi-- [CACKLING LIKE A HYENA] *clap clap* [CACKLING LIKE A FUCKING HYENA] This is the best day ever. These people haven't seen... ...entertainment like this... ...since they were born. Since they came out of a vagiiiiiii Fuckin' murdered. There's, uh... ...more bodies and problems happening. [dootmario2.mp3 playing on speakers] [dootmario2.mp3 continues] The Most Disappointing Place on Earth™. Vinesauce Land. The rides suck... There's an overabundance of Scoot and Toad... There's a Death Star... ...that takes a year to get to... There's a coaster that will either kill you or kill the people on the ground... Vomitting into a ball pit. There's clowns, there's frowns, [imitating Stefon from Saturday Night Live] there's freaks, there's geeks... [normally] ...anyway. [imitating his cousin] Vin, you gotta come to my club. It's called "Club Dread." Wh-Who's gonna be the first lucky customer to ride the Loog? Step right up, folks, step right up-- Oh, J.J. Abrams, what are you doing here? Double. D-- George Lucas?! J.J. Abrams and George Lucas have both gone to the Death Star coaster. No one wants to ride Loogie. Even in Planet Coaster, no one cares about Luigi. Wha-What's this? They're not comin' to Loog? [laughing] Go... No, what are they doin'? Aw, no, ride the Loog! I think... ...something's fucked up with the pathing here. "Speed Luigi's Remorse..." "...looks too intense for me." What? Luigi's Remorse. And mine as well. "There is a lot of vomit in the park." "Consider making first aid available." Are you fucking serious, did I really just get that message? This is my ultimate dream park. Everything is going according to plan. I've never been more happy in my life. Yes, please step into the ground, and I will get you whatever you need. First we need some kinda lighting. To begin with. Right? So no-- now, since I'm... [laughs] Just, y'know, just...a little entertainment. While you're...whilst you're visiting Hell. It could be anything. Is it a squid monster? Is it a hentai monster? You don't know. [Ceremony theme from Secret of Mana] Oh, you know how it is, just a... The life of a tentacle squid monster. Just waiting for hapless travelers to... ...enter. Your mouth region.
