Valentine's Day Special | Pastor Touré Roberts & Sarah Jakes Roberts

hey family i'm pastor torre i'm pastor sarah and listen you're getting ready to hear an incredible word for the lord i believe it's going to bless you i believe it's going to be timely do me a favor share the message if it moves you share the message and then also you have an opportunity to be a part of not only helping to spread this message but to be a part of our outreaches we're doing a lot of practical things to be a blessing to someone so feel free if god so moves you to use the information here in the video to support what we're doing we're being a blessing not just people spiritually we're being blessed to people practically we love you get into this message and change your life we have the very very special task of having a session with you that i think is going to be worthy of any journal any phone note app that you have because today we're going to be talking about what women want and what men want we thought it would be fun if we created our own list and then shared it and went back and forth with one another so i have no idea what's on his list and he has no idea what's on my list and i think that it's going to play in so well to how we go into 2021. absolutely and the right perspective produces so many things in fact i'll just give you three things that the right perspective gives you right away the first thing it gives you is peace i mean the right having that expectation the right expectation i meant it gives you peace because you no matter what's happening you're not focused on the things that you don't want you already receive this word something good is gonna happen to me so you have an expectation so it's almost like the negative things don't even register the way that they normally would you've got this this expectation and the three things that come from the expectation first of all is peace like i mentioned i've got peace because i know that there's something good is getting ready to happen i can be like jesus at the bottom of the boat chilling right but it's not just peace when i know that something good is about to happen it gives me patience i can i can wait i can wait for the god thing right you know i don't i'm not settling or reaching or grasping for whatever comes my way i have patience and then lastly perspective right i am called by god i'm chosen by god all things are going to work together for good i've got the right perspective and when i realize that when you have the right perspective you can see and attract god things into your life babe i love that you shared that and i feel like that actually plays a little bit into my list as it relates to expectations and what happens when we have the right ones and maybe what happens when we don't have the right ones so did you do your homework you have your list i got my list i'm curious to see what's on your list okay so the first thing that i wrote down for my list for what a woman wants um i'm going to just i'm going to take a journey because you know that's what i do yes okay women if you're with me say okay i'm with her i'm with her okay i feel like the first thing that a woman wants is to stop the questions i've got a better word but i want to explain why i said to stop the questions first when eve was in the garden and the serpent came up to her and said did god really say that was a question and i feel like that when i speak with other women that one of the things that i often hear you all say to me is that they have so many questions about their identity am i good enough will i be able to do this is there something wrong with me we have all of these questions and so i guess a better word would actually be assurance but i think one of the things that a woman really wants is to feel assured assured in her identity assured in her confidence as short in how she shows up in the world so to see those questions as an opportunity to really revisit with god i think is the ultimate goal where do we get assurance from and i want to definitely hear your thoughts and perspective on that but i think our assurance can't be built on other people it would be so easy to say i want assurance from my relationship but when we go into a relationship needing that person to assure us then that's so much pressure on that person i think the first place of insurance has to come in our relationship with god you know what's crazy about eve and the serpent having that dialogue about did god really say is that like eve didn't have to go through jesus to get a prayer to god like we did she had direct connection and communication with god she could have literally been like god did you really say but instead she wasn't sure and she acted out of a place of not knowing and i think we all obviously we know how that story ended and so i think assurance which ultimately comes from god is what a woman really needs and then when you get it from a partner it is just an echo of what you already experienced from your relationship with god that's so true i think that the my take on a woman's desire and need for assurance is kind of tied into my thing like one of my things you know when it comes to what a men want i can't okay i'm curious to hear that because i kind of feel like men don't have as many like insecurities or uncertainties oh my god oh my are you kidding me i think i think men have more shut up yeah my thing i wrote down it wasn't as elaborate but what i have learned to want because there's things that i think men want and and then the things that as men as we grow that we learn to want and so i'm at a place now where i don't just trust what i want automatically because sometimes we don't want what's right that's good that's a whole word you feel me like there's a pastor that says there's a way that seems right unto a man but the end are the ways of death so i don't trust there there's a part i love me but i also suspect me yeah you feel me because because when you're broken you want broken things you want uh in a way that broken people want but when you're whole and you you you pursue wholeness and you get whole what you desire changes that's so good so like number one on my list what i've learned to want is alignment um alignment and you know we can like a chiropractor like you want you that too try to get that yeah no but but alignment for me my definition of alignment is purpose in real time okay right so being in my purpose in real time and to tie it back to what you were talking about when you said assurance for me where i get assurance from and i think this is where any woman any man anybody ought to get assurance from is knowing that they're right dead center in the will of god wow i that's when i when i know that i'm where the holy spirit has instructed me to be no matter what comes my way like that you've heard the safest place to be is in the will of god like that's my sweet spot it's it's purpose in real time it's it's alignment it is when i am in this moment this present moment exactly where god foreknew and preordained me to be yeah right and that takes you know it and maybe you're like too spiritual well no not really you know if you look at jesus and you look at the ministry of jesus jesus said when he was being questioned about his actions he said look i'm not worried about what you think he said i only do what i see my father in heaven do and so he's basically saying i am on earth in this moment aligned with the father's vision of me in that moment and so and so what i know through prayer through um his word coming to me and and the confirmation of that word what i am in alignment when i am right where when i'm in that jeremiah one and five moment before i formed you in your mother's womb i knew you right when i'm in that moment that's when i feel assurance that's when i don't the questions stop and no matter what i'm facing in that moment i'm good that's so good because i think sometimes when we are in relationship with men or we're raising men or we're trying to understand men that we're trying to figure out where they are at a time that maybe they're trying to figure out where they are too and i think that that's so helpful to us who are learning to live with men because it's important for us to recognize that what our prayer should be for them above all is that they would be aligned perfectly and based off of their perfect alignment then we can engage them in a way that's healthy so and you can encourage us too uh i think that that like even for you even with us you know when you speak to me about my identity and my calling and and you start you know maybe i didn't wake up in the morning feeling like you're king tourette you know what i mean but but i think that that you have often helped me in that uh sometimes to remind me you know no god is doing this you know and so sometimes maybe you know our male counterparts our men but sometimes just to remind no there's an assignment on your life there's a great purpose i think can be greatly encouraging to me okay i'm going to move on to my next i just want to say one thing about what you said i love that you really empowered us to be able to speak that over the men in our life whether they're our sons or fathers or our spouses because i think sometimes we point out what you aren't and where you are not but to highlight where you are like to really acknowledge and celebrate and applause where you are more than we do maybe you know the areas where we feel like there's still an opportunity for growth because i think that that assurance is just watering the seeds of what god has already aligned for them so you could have said that any better okay so my second one i'm really proud of because i feel like it's something that we don't talk about a lot but i feel like what a woman wants and this is not something that i have ever heard a woman say but i just feel it in my core as truth i think a woman wants joy we spend so much time talking about a woman being strong talking about her being powerful and if she is not aligned with those things sometimes we say just forget those things let's be rebellious let's be counter culture but joy like to not just talk about our stresses but to have moments of joy and there have been moments where we've been in the bed in the middle of the night just laughing and i wake up better because i've had an opportunity to explore my joy and i feel like from young ages we're told who we should be and how we should show up in the world but no one is teaching us how to have joy and so i think that when a woman is having a moment of joy whether she's talking with her girls or she's having laughter or she's dancing silly in the living room to let her really revel in that moment of joy because life is so heavy so stressful so insecure so fragile that joy is something that i believe every woman wants but hasn't communicated baby this is huge i'm actually touched uh as a man as you say that because when you think about a little girl and obviously there are exceptions to the rule but when you think about a little girl they have joy yeah you know uh they run around they're loud you know what i mean they're they're they're running through the house or they're running the playground and they've got this joy we talk about childlike faith but but we forget we've forgotten about childlike joy and oftentimes i think what happens is life starts happening yeah it kills our joy yeah and and i you know i said it and i'll say it again today i think the most oppressed and persecuted people group on the planet is the woman yeah is the woman and because of what she has had to endure she's had to fight for her joy and to acknowledge to be connected enough to yourself and humble enough to say i want joy yeah is huge and i feel like you know as you know particularly as it relates to you and our daughters and and you know my mother and my mother in love i want to do a better job at uh at bringing out or creating an environment or at least doing my part to contribute to that environment that allows your your joy to flourish i have to tell you i didn't realize that my joy had disappeared obviously i've shared my story so much about having kai as a teenager and at 13 years old i think that i lost the right to joy because of what i'd gone through and then as i continued to make you know choices that weren't necessarily a reflection of god's love for me that i felt like i got even more disconnected from joy and it wasn't until i met you and my mother said that she saw me smiling in a way she hadn't seen me smile since before i had kai that i realized that i had been missing joy and there's just something about losing joy and not even realizing it yeah yeah we we lost yeah and this is not just for women it's for men too life happened to us and we lost our shout yeah you said something powerful and it's so profound i don't want us to run past it but you said that that life happens to us and sometimes we lose our right to joy can you just talk to everyone that's watching and can you dispel and debunk that lie that says that i don't have the right to joy i have to tell you as i was sharing my story i was hoping that i wouldn't start crying just because i can remember feeling like i couldn't smile like the other girls anymore because shame i couldn't laugh like the other girls anymore because of what had happened to me and there was something so powerful about receiving god's love through my husband that reminded me that i still have access to joy and sometimes we have to do the hard work of digging up our shame of digging up our trauma and confronting the areas in life that have broken us but when i tell you sis there's still so much joy that you can smell that big smile with all of your teeth showing and it will be real and it will be genuine and maybe we're praying for all of the wrong things maybe we're praying for a boo or we're praying for a financial breakthrough we're praying for a degree but what we should really be praying for is joy and when i tell you i hear god saying that he has joy on reserve for you and that all you have to do is come to a place where you're hungry for that peace that can only come with joy i'm talking about the time kind of joy that overflows where you still have joy from something that happened the night before or the week before or the year before god wants to give you your joy back and i feel like something good is going to happen to you and it's going to be in the form of joy your circumstance may not change at all i'm still that teen mother i still have those scars god didn't go back and erase anything and when he erased that i had joy but he taught me to have joy in spite of and that's my prayer for you sis is that you will come to a place where you believe and receive that i can have joy in spite of and then wake up looking for that joy powerful you know joy is our right yeah it's it's our inheritance if you study this scripture from the old testament all the way through the new there was joy you know um david the the joy of the lord is my strength um they would joy was a warfare weapon when they were shouting and praising they weren't shouting and praising in doom bless jesus no no it was joy they understood that there was there was victory on their side and god had a plan for them and that he was with them that he was for them and i believe that this attitude of joy is going to elevate you those of you who are watching this this when you get your joy back i feel like a momentum is going to come back to you i feel like you're going to operate at a different level and you're going to begin to attract people and i believe that strength is going to come the joy of the lord is my strength i believe there's going to be a strip that comes to you that gives you the the force the momentum the velocity to seize the things that god has for you in this new year you may have to practice joy too i've been spending time with ella in the evenings and usually we just like watch a movie but it's like the pandemic and it's like we we've seen all of the movies all of the tv shows and so now i'm on youtube and i look up like dance videos or workout videos for us and there's this like dance freeze thing that we do where you dance and then you freeze and like you know dancing with a four-year-old like you know if you told me to like post up old me in a club somewhere and dance maybe but like dancing with a four-year-old forces you to have joy because you're just like bouncing around and jumping around and it feels silly and it feels like i'm too old for this but when i got finished i was smiling just at how i had allowed myself to be free in that moment i saw it i came in there and i had kind of a rough day i was tired i came in there they would dance and stuff like that i got my little two-step here i got in on that joy have to break out of your comfort zone to discover where your joy lives now you may have to practice it but it is worth it yeah that's powerful and and uh i'll jump into my next one um i want to be excellent at communication i know that's like not the type of thing you think a guy would say but i wanna yeah cause like don't you guys like not talk and you're so hard to understand you know i mean we're all different you know but i but i just like you know i'm reading these books and i'm seeing what being a good communicator what it brings out in the people in my life from you to the kids or whatever um you know empathy i mean i'm studying empathy i want to be a master at empathy and there's so much more to like empathy than than just being oh you know it's deep it's about being present and and listening and creating a space for people to share and so so as a man and even when i'm thinking about you know i really i could have like wept at this this this moment right now when you talked about joy and how i felt like i lost my right to joy and and i just feel like i just want to be a gift to the people that are in my life i want to be a gift to you i want to be a gift to the children and for me i want to be what i've learned and want to be is excellent at communication i love the way that i guess god just led us to do this because i think that a lot of times when we think about what we want we think about what we want from someone instead of what we want to be in the world and i feel like that's so important because as you were talking about communication for me as your wife it helps me to understand that as you're venturing into creating these environments for more in-depth communication i already felt like you were doing a great job but you're going deeper it helps me to honor your effort and i think that we have an opportunity when being in relationship with people who are growing and becoming to honor the effort as you venture into the new and so i just want to ask as you know excellent communication is one of your things is that what you want to receive too you want to have more excellent communication like do you want us to explore with communication the way that you're because my honey he really is taking this seriously with the communication like if the if mckenzie's 11 if she's like walking around the house because you know how these preteens are they walk around the house like they pay all of the bills and have such a hard time and instead of us being like girl you ain't paying no bills you shouldn't have anything to stress about we're like trying to ask her to communicate more like oh what's life like on your level and he's like how did that make you feel and what did that communicate to you about who you are in the family so is that how you want us to do you i mean i don't know because exactly but let me take i got to take you back to something you said because it was powerful and you just you talked about want and and ultimately that it's not about necessarily what you want from but what you want for and that's powerful i'm even thinking about relationships and i remember and you know this but you may not know the story but um when i was single and i was praying for mrs roberts i uh i wrote down some things i wrote down a list uh and it was two less the the the at the top of the list it was what i wanted her to be and then the bottom of the list and i think that the bottom of the list might have even been longer than that top of the list and that was who i was going to be for her and to her and i think that in a dating scenario or a you know just even having a desire to have a mate or whatever i think that it's important we oftentimes we have our list but i think it's important and i think what god honors even more than your list about who they are or what they need to have is who you're going to be to them because that person on the other side of your desire or on the other side of your future relationship is god's child and so it's almost like if you're just this is what i want it's almost like you're you almost want to take away from something where i believe that that all of us have the capacity to add value and add something in relationships babe as you were saying that i thought how crazy would it be if those of us who are in marriages or relationships took the time to write a list like that now like what do i want from my spouse now and who do i want to become to my spouse now just to revisit that because i think there's something so powerful and reminding one another like where we are now and what we need from our marriage and our union in this moment absolutely okay so my next one she's done a phenomenal job of doing but i think it's something that every woman wants is a healthy environment you know i think that even when we look at eve in the garden she was first created in this environment that was completely finished unlike adam who was there as things were being built when eve came in everything had already been set in motion and so i think that speaks to a woman's want and desire to have a healthy environment and of course we don't always receive that sometimes our childhood homes are broken sometimes our family dynamics are complicated and so we don't always have that healthy environment but i think that we bear the scar of not having that healthy environment until we feel like we can create an environment that reverses that curse and so i feel like a woman who doesn't have a sacred environment because that's ultimately what the garden of eden was and i believe that that was god's intention for every woman is to have an environment that is sacred so that she can understand how sacred she is because i think our environment is a reflection of our self-worth science and psychology proves this and so if we are going to see ourselves as sacred i think it first starts in the environment that cultivates us and so i think a woman wants a healthy sacred environment that's powerful and and i will continue to do my part to do that i also think it's important to learn how to cultivate a healthy inner environment because sometimes you're not going to be able to always control your outer environment you should as much as possible um you know and and there are certain points that you get to life in life where you can choose your surroundings so to speak not everyone can choose their surroundings not everyone can necessarily choose where they live what the community they live in or whatever but what you can choose is your inner atmosphere your inner environment the environment of your thoughts uh what thoughts you tolerate and what thoughts you reject at the door um i was thinking the other day your your mind is a gate your heart is a gate and you have to man those gates and so you know sometimes you know we may have to go into places or environments that we don't want to go into we may have to be subject to situations or or surroundings that don't necessarily reflect where we're headed but what we can control what we can control is our inner atmosphere i love that so good um that inner environment i think speaks so much to your book wholeness so like if you need tools on creating what that healthy inner environment looks like this is um this is a shameless plug because i'm trying to help you out sis all right um i definitely think that you should get the man's book um wholeness by toure roberts you got a great book too that touches on that too it's funny we and it's a shame we haven't read each other's books so we can say that i should tell the truth like we have this thing like why would you you know a lot of them okay we read our first books no no let's just tell the truth here we read our first book she read purpose awakenings [Laughter] it's a shame but but what i've come to discover is wholeness and don't settle for safe are actually very very similar um like almost some of the same things just in different language so get her book too to be fair we were basically writing around the same time and the last thing you want to do when you finish writing is read something else so it's hard it's but i but i was a part of the process you were and i love it so much and your thoughts and i'm in the book i'm in the book so that's that on that and that's on mary had a little one [Laughter] where the money resides [Laughter] oh wow this is taking into account all right back to let me let me bring you back it's on me right yes it's me all right so so um what i've learned to want is impact i'm at a place now where i want to make a difference i want my life in my family in my marriage in our community in the world social media whatever i want to have impact and it's funny because we were having this conversation on clubhouse the other day about the difference between impact and influence and a lot of people now like they want influence i want to be influential but i would rather have impact because i've seen a lot of influencers that aren't having a real impact on society got millions and gazillions of followers or or impressions or what have you but they're not having an impact so as a man what i've learned to want and i think that i think that most men won't have it may not they may not want to change the world necessarily but they do want their efforts to be meaningful and uh and and sometimes even acknowledged that is really really good i feel like it plays a little bit into what my next one is too but that idea of being impactful you know i think women want that too i think that we want it in a different way though so i'm going to go into mine what i had as my thing that i believe a woman wants is fruitfulness and that fruitfulness that i defined it as is evidence that my sacrifice yielded a worthy result wow and i feel like that is connected to impact for sure but for a woman in order to be fruitful even in the natural there's such a sacrifice and that sacrifice yields this incredible result you know if we're blessed enough to make it to that final place we have this incredible human being and we say everything that we went through was worth it because i'm holding you but i think the way that that shows up outside of the natural in our efforts in our education and our efforts in our business and our efforts and our relationship is that women are willing to sacrifice give you literally most women i'm generalizing i'll give you the shirt off of my back i'll deplete myself fully but i want to know that this sacrifice yielded a worthy result i cook almost five nights out of the week at home and when i make a meal that is like supernatural like they're speaking in tongues like for me that is amazing because it's generally a sacrifice to make something that good and ciao if i miss the mark and it is not good i am wounded deeply because it was such a sacrifice i'm like we could have just ordered pizza but i'm like sacrificing to try and make this incredible meal and when it doesn't work out i'm frustrated but i think that that plays out in so many different areas of our life whether we're going to school or saving financially whatever that is we're sacrificing but what we really want to know is the is this going to be fruitful but honey i think i don't even think i think that that's how it's supposed to be because you know if you look at the way god set it up he said be fruitful and multiply the way that god set it up is is that with all labor and effort there should be a reward now the challenge is sometimes the harvest doesn't show up in the place of the sacrifice and that's where we get frustrated you know like my mom you know my mom raised me and my mom was praying and and i was strained you know how does that work like what you know see the sacrifice of prayer is creating or it seems like it's creating a strayer you know and so you know for the longest of times my mom is praying for me and you know and i'm just wild and just living my life and just being you know crazy and all that kind of stuff doing a lot of dumb stuff can i say dumb i'm sorry dr robin i'm sorry okay but you know but but what happened was those prayers were not missed and those tears weren't missed because all of what has happened in my life of the last 20 years i've been walking with the lord were in those prayers and so sometimes where it gets frustrating is i'm expecting for the harvest to show up here but the harvest is going to show up in a way over there and oftentimes it's greater than what you would have even known to to pray for so i think that we are right and for example like you you brought it back to your cooking first of all if you have not experienced the cooking and the baking of sarah jakes roberts i'm not even quite sure you're alive no it is it is amazing and you know full disclosure the other night you made something new and i didn't say anything i you know i just that was the problem no you didn't say no no you actually i did say something at first i said oh fancy right i said i said oh fancy this is fancy and and and that uh it was a little different for me a little different and that was fine you had this other other dish set aside and here is the thing i just received your intention like okay yeah that you know didn't turn out the way that you expected or i expected that's fine but what i received your sacrifice wasn't in vain i received the intention of that hard work and effort and you still had a backup over here on the side because i didn't trust the recipe so i did have a backup but you see the point though babe the point is if you worked hard if you sacrificed sometimes you may not see immediately the evidence of it but in the bible even says this in all sacrifice there's profit yeah yeah babe that's so good uh did you finish your whole dinner yeah we'll talk about impact and then yeah right oh i got one more oh you didn't wait i think because that was three alignment uh impact excellent community oh i do have one more okay but i think it's on you right you started first i did fruitfulness and sacrifice trust you yeah all right all right i got you all right so then i'm women want to be trusted okay all right oh that's true you're right you're right okay all right so so my last one my last one is and we're talking about what we what i have learned to want as a man uh for me is that every gift and every opportunity be unlocked like i have my my great i know you're not supposed to have fears i'm just being honest with you but my my greatest fear is to die with potential and and and there's so much to me and there's so many doors that that uh i mean i am dimensionally expense i'm dimensionally increased in the 20 years i've been walking with god so what i mean by that is that before i hooked up with god i thought that there was only one dimension to me and that was business right and i felt like okay this is it i'm great at business i'm going to do business i'm do business well i had no idea that there was ministry i had no idea that there were books i had no idea that there were entertainment companies plural i had no idea that that we'd be partnering and you know and all the things that that are in store and so for me and i think that that that enlightenment conscious men feel the same way i just want more than anything that every gift is unlocked and every opportunity is is walked into that's me that reminds me so much of this idea something good is going to happen to you because that unlocking i think has so much to do with how we show up in the world and when we show up in the world with that expectation i believe that we are able to unlock what's in us so that those dimensions can be unfolded i am i've loved this conversation so much and i think what i love the most about it is that constantly throughout these lists that we had for one another that i could feel goodness already happening to people you know i think that a part of us probably wanted for this to be very structured and fancy but it ended up being full of joy and fun and love and so i'm just grateful babe i think we should pray absolutely um this has been awesome this has been fun and one of the things the lord taught me is pay attention to what you see so if you've seen in our interaction or heard something that is something that you desire or something or is confirming something that you already have uh it's god saying that this is what i've got for you you know that there have been so many things i've learned to pay attention to what i see because oftentimes god reveals something either in word or or in even a visual image you know a life a blessing sometimes it's something uh physical you know sometimes it's something in the natural but i always pay attention to what i see and what i hear what i experience because you know why would god be showing me something if he wasn't giving me a glimpse of things perhaps to come so uh yeah let's pray you you started you finish it yeah well father we just thank you so much for these few moments that you allowed us to share here and we thank you god for all who are watching something good is going to happen to you and i believe that it's starting even right now i thank you god that you're shifting perspectives and you're cultivating an optimistic expectation in the lives of your daughters and all who are watching lord that will yield great fruit hallelujah and god you've said something you've shared something in our interaction our exchange something has been revealed and it is a foreshadowing of the minimum of what you're going to do in the lives of those who are watching so i pray god that that those truths and those ideas and those confirmations would take root and ultimately spring up and bear fruit in the lives of those who are watching father before we head out i also just want to add one more thing god as we've read in your word that you're pouring out your spirit i pray that you would pour out your joy that your joy father would meet every one of my girls who are watching right now and as that joy is poured out that they will realize that they were looking for strength in areas where they didn't even need the strength we needed strength to come from our joy father preserve the joy that you have stored up for us and pour it out in jesus name jesus thank you amen you

Channel: ONE | A Potter's House Church

Views: 67,805

Rating: 4.9616475 out of 5

Keywords: LA Churches, TPH, The Potters House, TPH LA, The Potters House LA, One LA, Toure Roberts, Sarah Jakes Roberts, tphla

Id: 4KrH8aa1ZH8

Length: 38min 19sec (2299 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 14 2021