(soft music) - (sighs) - It's not plugged in. (horror movie theme music) - Okay, kids, so today
the principal is coming to supervise today's class. You guys better (bleep) shut your mouths because I need to keep my job at-- Heyyy, so everyone say
hi to the principal. Okay, we're gonna talk
about dinosaurs today, so if everyone can open
their textbooks to page 20. And then we're gonna talk about. Thank (bleep) God, guys come on, couldn't you pretend to be a little more excited? Dinosaurs were extinct way before we even existed so. Oh bye. Everyone say bye to the principal. Bye. Now that that stupid idiot is gone, everyone open your textbooks to page 40, answer all the questions, I'll be over here watching my Netflix. - (hand clap) Alright, welcome back class. Hopefully you enjoyed your summer. Welcome to the first day of school. I'm gonna start off with attendance. So leading me off (bass drum beat) is a nightmare of a name. Hair jight? Is a Hair-jight here? - Sorry sir, it's actually
pronounced Har-jeet. - Yeah, that's exactly what I said. Hair-jight. God! Second is (bass drum beat) (stutters) Jase? Is there a Jase in the classroom? Jase? - It's Jazz, like the music. - Okay, it says Jazz here, but like what's your real name? - That is my real name. - It just can't be just, Harjit and Jazz? What's your real name? Come on. - Good morning students, my name is Miss Sandy, I'll be your substitute
teacher for the day. So today your teacher gave
me a bunch of assignments. (romantic music) - Harjit. - Yes.
- I have a question for you. - Yeah, ask me anything you want. - What's the answer to number seven? - What? - Harjit! (bass drum beat) - What happened, what? - Harjit, what's the
answer to number seven? - Yeah, of course, it's purple. What? - (claps hands) Good morning, class! Hope you guys are having
a great Monday morning. Welcome to my class. We have so much (claps) stuff to do today. We have assignments (claps), we have projects (claps). But (claps) first things first, let's get our energy levels up, guys! Let's all riiise. Come on. Get up out your seats, come on guys. Alright, ready, set? We're gonna do jumping jacks. One, two, three. I know this is an English
class, but come on guys, four, five, yeah you got it. Wooooooo! - Okay, okay. Welcome to Philosophy 101. Before we start I just want everyone to know, that my name is Mr. Mandel, but all y'all, can call me Mr. Bizzle. (laughs) You know what I'm sayin'. But this class is Philosophy. (record needle scratch)
Hold up. ♪ Philosophy, do you love me? ♪ (laughs) You know what I'm talking about. You definitely know
what I'm talking about. I know that you know
that I know that you know what I'm talking about. (laughs) Okay, let's get started. ♪ Philosophy ♪ Aaahhh. (pops can)
- Harjit, you know the rules, there's no drinks in class. (sips loudly) Ahhh. (wrapper crackling) Danny. No gum. (spits) Jazz, come on, you know the rules, there's no phones allowed in class. (phone rings) Hey girlllll. Oh, my God,
I didn't even know you'd be alive after last weekend. - (mumbles) - What is he saying? - I don't know. - I can't hear anything. - (mumbles) - (whispers) Okay, come on, come on. - (mumbles) - Wait, I have an idea. - (mumbles) (knob clicks) - We'll also be discussing politics, so any of you politic heads will also be doing that as well. - Okay, so does anyone have any questions about chapter three? And remember in this classroom,
there's no such things as stupid questions, so
whatever questions you have, let me know. Yes. - Is this gonna be on the exam? (bass drum beat) - Are you serious? Why would you even ask me that question? That is such a stupid question. Why do you come to this class and repeatedly ask me stupid questions? Can you not, can you please stop? If you're not gonna pay attention to what I'm saying, just leave. The door is right there. Right here, let me show
you, let me show you. The door is right here. Thank you, thank you so much. (door slams) Does anyone else have any questions? ♪ I wanna know ♪ ♪ Ooh yeah ♪ ♪ Would you wanna wake up next to me ♪ ♪ I wanna know ♪ ♪ If every night wasn't ecstasy ♪
