Tumblr Awards v3

unicorn bicorn con no dammit no corn in the context of unicorn and by corn means porn yes but having no prefix wouldn't work you should use the much more accurate acorn or without horn for a regular horse wait a minute what's the most cursed but cute fun fact you know cats the furry little critter everyone loves actually poops how is that cursed what do you like poop you little poop lover i freaking hate the color of your blog the light blue makes it hard to read you hurt my feelings please become experiments for scientists check the blog now and on that's right it's still light blue freak you i'm the baddest beach on all recipes.com are people still making fun of the name chat it's one syllable it's aesthetically pleasing my name's chad and i'm nice you're largest letting dudes named preston go unchecked because chad's an easy target come on man hayden tucker give me a freaking break he makes a fair point we've been letting the presidents off easy a ceo a laborer and an immigrant are at a table the table has 20 cookies the ceo takes 19 cookies and says to the laborer look out that immigrant is trying to take your cookie what is your most controversial video game hot take games over 10 years old should be free if you have an in-game store macro transactions or loot boxes your game should be free ganondorf should and will have shreks with every game and ever meets you at a party small talk is four poses rate your current level of existential dread from one to ten let's be emotionally intimate forever starting now asked movie was the vine of its time saying desmond the moon bear revoked the same kind of response as saying road work ahead now so i'm right till that when trees evolved nothing could decompose them until a fungi learned all coal comes from before the fungi learned the way this post is worded is so delightful i absolutely cannot stop reading it over and over knees not simply leg knuckles thank you for coming to my ted talk they are more like leg elbows if you think about it no because an elbow is just an arm knuckle host your own ted talk unless you go with a theory that knuckles are finger elbows this is open for discussion me in 2019 what kind of place is this me in 2020 remembering 2019 good times good times 2020 has been so bad that i don't even remember why 2019 was so bad this quarantine got me feeling like luke skywalker trapped on dagobah with that gay little frog help lol yoda gaming ketamine i need i just realized that not everyone can fit their fist down into a pringles can how do you all survive i rip the can open with my teeth raw strength or scissors pour it into my hand and then lick it up like a dog i just realized not everyone can fit their mouth around a pringles can smoke it like a giant joint damn beach you live like this i eat mine like a spider what does that mean me thinks about you my heart what does html stand for hypertext markup language no i mean like what does it believe in what is the purpose of training bras what are we trying to teach them they are trained to be the very like no one ever bras to catch them is my real chest to train them on my tatters i will browse across the store trying on every size need training bras to understand the memories inside voices booberman so i have two little cousins one is ten and the other is seven and my aunt told them they could each say one cuss word and not get in trouble so the older one very politely says damn but the younger one stands up on the kitchen table rips his shirt off and screams frick while dive bombing to the floor and my aunt just stood there and stared at him because she couldn't get mad at him so what do you guys have planned for valentine's day murder that's the spirit here's a hot take gift wrap is dumb 95 percent of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task society has conditioned us to love wrapping crap up for no reason probably by gift wrap industry people counterpoint monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as frick how to summon a dad make a circle out of power tools screwdrivers and wrenches will do in a pinch place a pair of socks inside sandals in the middle of the summoning circle chant hi hungry i'm dad over and over touch the thermostat when i was a child my cat died and the only way i could rationalize it was drawing her being crucified because i went to a catholic school and i thought that just happened to everyone when they died i can't comment on this just freaking look at it me trying to spell something in french i think that's enough vowels the french language yao fool yao and soul and coward it is scientifically impossible not to read this with a french accent um i'm french and please we don't talk all like that argh untime french ant pleaser ui down tall cows leaks at all gacks dracula's hair is suspiciously perfect for someone who can't use mirrors he's gay types of infused water i've been told to make hot dog water pickles to be fair pickle juice is surprisingly good at keeping you hydrated it works better than sports drinks i started drinking hot dog water after grandma vanished with the doll these two replies are worrying for different reasons anyone else get that i never expected you to say swear words you're so innocent crap from random people you've talked to maybe twice me so yeah i'm freaking them well you know gets really quiet the f word you're so sweet and cute though rip here to munch reseal for crunch choose your path booty shorts that say rip here to munch on the a casket that says reseal for crunch on it my surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on tuesday that i'd be down and out for about two weeks my brother two weeks holy crap surgeon well consider this she and i just had a knife fight and i won because she was asleep during it my brother oh yeah okay that's fair punches you in the chest punches you in the chest punches you in the chest punches you in the chest this post is like getting punched in the chest four times in a row [Music] norway compared to eastern united states that's our secret underwater norway why does it say bermuda in the middle of the ocean come on buddy you can figure this one out whoever's reading this deserves love and grilled cheese sanj does anyone want to join my midnight shovel club we walk around the streets at midnight with shovels why is it that every white person in the world will be like oh lol my family is crazy like they are while that is totally bonkers like bro chill i get it when you turned 18 you found out you aren't cheated on your uncle but they stayed together for the kids one time at thanksgiving somebody got too drunk and tossed a salad fork your dad has unresolved trauma and one of your cousins uses macro labels to the discontent of your grandmother you're not special we are all like that god released me into the wild and now he's hunting me for sport the wheel was a cool invention but what about my patented piss in the sink concept that's called a toilet you would just steal my patent and place it in everyone's homes without freaking telling me hey does anyone want large free money piles blood money so want to get rid of it but free pukey is there something you need to tell us i do not wish to discuss anything besides the blood money is the money stained the only thing that gets stained will be your conscience country music sells a redneck fantasy for people with no connection to what it describes oh and i'm sure that you live like that hip hop song with ice on your wrist and a clip at your side you've got the partying lifestyle and shrek shall prowess that the pop singer is detailing let he who is without sin cast the first stone on today's episode of discourse i didn't know was a thing snap yep this one's going in my cringe compilation wait they gave him his freaking bag op changed the picture and now i look insane salt is known to be able to repel or even contain evil spirits as companies start to drain the dead sea of salt to sell as a novelty they unwittingly unleash that which the dead sea was meant to contain skeleton zoo strong stoic man with sad past adopt child me every single time i'm reading on old superstitions and do not go out collecting nuts on september 14th holy rude day as the devil will be out nutting too september 14th the day the devil nuts happy devil nut day but why do i say i know to my pets when they make noises i'm lying to them i don't know anything bianca is having two babies who is bianca grandma you can't just text me that and then don't reply the singer bianca single lady bianca [Music] mo hey dad's name oh whoops i mean brother's name oh no sister's name i mean name of the family goldfish oh should i meant your name can you get down here really quick i need something my dad has literally called me by his own name my mom calls me by our dog's name mine does too my parents just switched to hey you cat tum is a temptation of biblical proportions my cat if you put your hands anywhere near me i will cage you in the real life sore trap from which there is no painless escape me chumpy kitty tumby a huge and ancient dragon loses her clutch of eggs she decides to adopt an office building full of employees as her children but to keep them safe she doesn't want to let any of them leave mighty opius destroyer of kingdoms please mom alright mom um so i have to get back home i've got three kids who need dinner and i really think i should go back why are you crying grandbabies her business children earn money and she is very proud of all of them shut the frick up i love you so much don't say mean stuff about yourself also sorry for saying frick do you or your mother with that mouth that's the worst thing you ever could have possibly said i love it a guinea pig with giraffe style legs [Music] i mean if you insist art crappy cryptids crap my wife has said to our cat you are the cause of all entropy i don't know how but i'm going to blame you for all my problems life on this earth is brief what do you think about the plight of the jewish people miss kitty you have to ask yourself miss kitty would you rather be comforted by a lie or strengthened by the truth the straight boy who booped my nose and touched the back of my knees was sitting next to me in chemistry today when one of his friends asked if i'd suck straight boys i replied no comment and straight boy blushed which was kind of cute ngl he also found out i found scarshrexie and i found out he has lots of scars or so he says and i'm just like that guy really wants his pursuit yoda really is just a funny old man he just made all that crap up he saw this kid come into his swamp and he was like how can i freak with this guy this guy how can i freak with stop using the t slow you idiots you cannot stop me totally pride and crime and war and punishment and sense and peace and prejudice and sensibility my pride my prejudice and me [Music] the f-15 is no match for this plane i don't think anything is a match for this plane aerodynamics has left the chat this but like in the air up late just click in my mouse lol girl v2 i will be posting dudes telepathically today so if you think of that that was me i just realized the five stages of grief denial anger bargaining depression acceptance spelled out dab dab and i feel like this is important information sometimes you just need to dab dab grief away i need a popular blog to reblog this because it has eight notes and that is unacceptable creepy pastors are like i took a poop in a bathroom that doesn't exist what is your attitude towards cannibals like when you jump in the pool ha ha ha ha um make a huge splat and yeah win the competition lmfao if you use your full legal name as a url it technically counts as a canon url i what the frick you mean nothing to me uses you as an item to solve a point in click puzzle draw the ultimate bike worm [Music] 8 and under 9 to 12 13 to 17 18 and over are yes the ripe old age of 18 andover hate to ruin the fun but penguin lifespan emperor penguin emperor penguin 20 years think about how many puppies will get to experience snow for the first time this winter puppies confused about why their feet are cold confused about this fluffy stuff gotta bite it got a roll in it remember to drink lots of water because your insides are a swampy bog and a water shortage would affect the local frog population jarlene jolene jolene jolly half of me wants to be a really physically active person but the other half of me is like nasa and how can i argue with that teacher can i see your homework me haha no way loser do your own god all american kids cartoons really do have that one outstandingly scary episode no matter what do you guys fricking remember this repressed it until now thanks being 20 plus is basically a constant question of am i doing enough and the answer always being a solid no the concept of foundation is really so evil to me a liquid skin you paint on to cover your natural skin to market that as a normal and even necessary product only to women evil if no one tells our fathers they look sick or tired or dull without forty dollar poor clogging paint on their faces that shouldn't be the message we get either honestly my dream is to not be famous myself but to be married to a famous person purely so i could go to events full of other famous people and pretend i've never heard of any of them i would love to watch the look on leonardo dicaprio's face as i ask him what he does for a living and when he incredulously tells me he's an actor take a sip of my drink and ask and how's that working out for you skeletons fighting over a pickled herring james henser 1891 encounter skeletons fighting over a pickled herring no matter how broken you are you will always find a way to rebuild yourself i need this more of this kind of positive outlook in my life my 19 year old brother put sports bottle lids on his chocolate milk thank you for sharing his wisdom with us i'm a nice person but i'm about to start throwing rocks at people modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and purse phone are played by john melanie and his wife cursed image where is his hat freshman school supplies versus juniors and seniors [Music] where is the lie these are all actual screen caps from this godforsaken movie [Music] her name is cheese onion petition 4 stars in the daytime please girls already exist [Music] teamwork make the dream work i want curly friends i meant fries oh [Music] what do you want to be when you grow up nr lives alone in a castle with her cats and her 91 million pound fortune anaya 54 has maintained a reclusive existence since she shot to superstardom following the release of a global hitori noco flow sail away in 1988 [Music] if by some divine mistake you find the lady of the forest you can only ask her a single question pray that it's the one she knows how to answer who's a good girl i was returning something at target and the person ahead of me was returning five thousand dollars worth of umbrellas me i'm not better narrator she was bitter h is the strongest most expressive letter in the alphabet [Music] beach jellyfish wow it looks almost exactly like a dog stop global warming i don't look good in shorts no offense but do i look like i understand anything the banana duck native to haiti and venezuela is appealing for its bright yellow skin and long bill dancing bees young and sweet only seven bees life is a party and i'm the predator [Music] you

Channel: Tumblr Reads

Views: 70,061

Rating: 4.9570436 out of 5

Keywords: tumblr, tumblr memes, dank memes, dank, memes, meme, funny, lol, comedy, humor, r/tumblr, best of tumblr, top tumblr posts, funny tumblr posts, hot tumblr posts, funniest tumblr posts, cowbelly, comment awards, tumblr reads, tumblr trophies, tumblr awards, text posts, tumblr posts

Id: JfE-bc3MEV0

Length: 19min 6sec (1146 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 17 2020