Trump Turns 78 Years Old, Parasites Kiss His Ass in D.C. & We Ruin a Finals Game for a Celtics Fan

for me I the host of the show please relax it's you know it's not true well thank you thank you for watching thank you for being here with a new show on a Friday night special welcome to those of you who stayed up after game four the NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics who were looking to sweep and claim their record 18th NBA title and the Dallas Mavericks who are just trying to stay alive the villain in this series for Boston fans uh was Kyrie Irving who used to play for the Celtics now play for the Mavericks that relationship in Boston did not end well and fans there I guess they just want to make sure he remembers it for K you're you job Kyrie get a job get aob Kyrie your baskets get a j I like to sell because I think they're really good basketball te he must he must be visiting from Vermont and you know while we have a lot of fun with the fans in Boston and fans in Philly the real hooligans are across the pond as this German reporter learned outside a soccer stadium with some Scottish fans [Applause] and in Germany they call it a v schnit tomorrow here in LA tomorrow going be interviewing President's Obama and Biden at a fundraiser even though I don't know if President Biden's even in the country the president was in Italy for the G7 Summit today where he had a little bumping foreheads time with uh Pope Francis you can see them there getting uh real close hey Francis we're going to f find some raisin brand around here huh Joe likes to really get in there and smell the incense you know the president of the Pope have known each other for many years a lot of people don't realize Biden is the Joseph who raised Jesus right and they do seem to like each other here was the pope with Biden 2021 and here he is four years before just for a little contrast there you go that's shot moment after Trump said his favorite figure from the Bible was the snake today I should mention today is a bigly day in the magers maybe the biggiest day of all on this day 78 years ago two people man and a woman named Mary and Fred combine their DNA to give life to the silliest hairdo this country has ever seen Donald Trump is 78 years old today but who's counting other than Melania you know I um I got an email today from DJ J TJ Donald Jr it was very forceful he wrote this is your final warning when I give my dad his birthday card will your name be there you've always been his top supporter so I'm saving the last spot on the card I have I'm his I feel like I haven't maybe not top H I would um well I would love to have my name on your dad's on this card he will never see I'm guessing he would you think they even bother to print the card these dopes pay money to be a part of I I don't even believe Don Jr's invited to his birthday party but I did want to do something and I made a donation of Planned Parenthood in Trump's name instead to celebr he's got enough stuff Trump was on Capitol Hill yesterday he got a skin crawling fawning reception from some of the most embarrassing ass Kiest parasites ever to Slither the planet Earth look at the all these spineless Senators lined up to kiss the onion ring and watch now watch Ted Cruz here he's like is he going to say hi to me will he he oh yes yes yes I'm included he touched my slime clap everybody keep clapping he sees us he's as for Trump look at his hair too he's really doing something crazy with that Trump had a a lowkey birthday celebration he reportedly spent the night at home quietly spanking himself with a magazine you know I have to admit Donald Trump has given a lot to our show and I wanted to do something special for him because I know he watches from time to time and over the last seems like I don't know 28 years since he got into politics we've come up with a lot of nicknames for Donald Trump and so in honor of his birth or day we comb through the archives to bring you our top 78 Donald Trump nicknames of all time are you can I get some music for this oh very good all right and here we go don horon Napoleon bonis fur R smelly fibach commander and Thief Nostra dumbass El pork Chapo magga Teresa all capston kangaroo rip one vanwinkle count flatula founding farter fy5 Teddy doeltgen mayor mccut the cheese groper Cleveland sleepy donzalesko dementia stable MC genius the tantuan candidate orange baby Jesus Refrigerator Perry Mason off- Whitey Bulger tanibal Lecter The Not So Great Pumpkin carrot bottom scammy Davis Jr rich little hands Donnie Cochran the magalorian Vladimir gluten hippopus Darth tax evader our fondling father maroon 45 the legend of bragger Vance Mara clo the tan of La Mancha Butch casserole skilskin magatha krisky where are we how many more are rbass Grandpa Orange Julius Caesar hungry hungry hypocrite dictator tot quidd Pro Com over the locker up Nest monster general lenh Hower Alexander scilt yelis Jaba the Pizza Hut and pumpkin MC pornh Humper happy birthday to you maybe maybe we do have Trump derangement syndrome I Sunday in case you don't know is Father's Day and Father's Day is a chance show your dad that you love him somewhere in the neighborhood as much as you love your mom and no son has done more to prove his love than the boy who almost grew a beard a boy named Eric I'm proud of my father I'm proud as hell of my father my father's a great fighter my father fought his ass off my father's a man I consider a best friend my father built the skyline of New York City been by my father's side almost the entire time I spent every minute of the last 48 hours as I said with my father no one that knows my father as well as I do I've got the toughest father in the world my father did a phenomenal job my father built the greatest economy this country's ever seen my father had peace in the Middle East and I was really happy to see my father out there my father didn't do a damn thing wrong my father has been so Cooperative my father testifies my father's been censored they're going after my father in Georgia they tried to get to my father they tried to impeach my father my father had a great relationship with Putin my father got out of every war stopped every war my father was so far ahead my father was very very good my father will do an unbelievable job my father feels great my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father my father father my father my father my father father father my father my father father father father father father father father father father my father my father is the greatest guy in the world you know what it's very sweet it really is and I wish maybe someday your father will stop calling you Derek all right back to basketball I every year at playoff time we send a camera crew to game one in this case played in Boston to see how long we can keep a fan who has a ticket to the game out of his seat so we set up TD Garden we found a Celtics fan in the fourth quar of the game and we tested every ounce of his patience in our 2024 NBA edition of clock blockers how you doing so what's your name Fred Hogan Fred where you from Lynn Max what do they say about Lynn they say Lynn is the best city in the world we don't use that him cuz I'm a Lynn city counselor we're going have to turn up tonight [Music] baby do me a favor look right in there say Celtics basketball then I'm going to throw you the ball and you say catch it ready so put put the shirt around your neck so see how hands free I going to count you in ready and three two 1 Celtics basketball catch it let's do that again that the camera was bad three two one Celtics basketball catch it he didn't throw the ball come on man was me that was on me Celtics wait I got to count three two 1 we go Celtics basketball catch it let's go you know what here let's try this I'm going to pass it to you better learn how to pass I'm a basketball coach too say Celtics basketball pass it on and I'm pass you okay right Celtics basketball pass it on oh no pass no bounce pass it back no you should pass it to me pass it on shouldn't pass it back pass it back here okay so wait so I'm going to bounce pass it to him yep he's going to pass it to you or bounce pass it to you bounce pass it to me and then are you going to pass it to me and then I'll pass it to you pass it on we're all passing it on ready right here we go 3 two 1 soueast basketball pass it on no to me to me it goes me to Fred Fred to you you to back to you all right me to Fred Fred to you than you to me all right let's get this quick come on I'm three I'm three I'm three three one two three let's do it all right ready and three two 1 Sage basketball pass it on fantastic oh you're missing the game oh my God we are missing the game of the year go this is unbelievable go do it do me favor look in there and say Celtics basketball you don't want to miss a second of the action Celtics basketball you want to miss a second of the action a little more clear a little more clear FR Celtics basketball you'll be crazy to miss a second of the action oh not the ball you're a bad pass man that was on me how about Celtics basketball you'd be crazy to leave your seat and three 2 1 Celtics basketball you'd be crazy to leave your seat grab that grab that yeah he's Fred Fred Hogan he's from Lin Mass yeah I'll ask him Fred they're asking if they could put your face in the Jumbotron you okay be on there guess what I'm up oh my God we are missing the game of the year okay let's get FR in the Jumbotron this is good get the we got to plug him into the green scam now you're all plugged in you can't go anywhere don't don't pull away okay that's a lot of expensive equipment on your head okay let's just get a couple quick little announcement on the Jumbotron real quick Celtics basketball welcome to TD Garden I'm on the Jumbotron season tickets are on sale now for the 2024 25 season ask about special group rates and many plans make TD guard your destination for your next party or function catch up I got a catch up say pton Pritchard for three pton Pritchard for three oh we are missing some game back there we are missing some back wow let me get this real quick with the owner of light K Rio with a wicked piss of bumper sticker please report to security you're parked in a fire lane okay that's great how many minutes have you left my brothers texting me they're calling me from my seats wow this is calling him from his seats Celtics basketball catch it Celtic basketball dribble it between your legs Celtic basketball dribble it between your legs Celtic basketball dribble it between your legs Celtic basketball dribble it between your legs Celtic basketball dribble it between your legs we didn't count him in we didn't count him in we didn't count you yet three 2 one Celtics basketball dribble it between your [Applause] legs y [Applause] take your head here you go here's your beer all right thanks [Music] FR sounds like the game's over I am the city council the city council my te needs some counseling now B

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 2,122,353

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, NBA, Basketball, Boston Celtics, Dallas Mavericks, Kyrie Irving, Joe Biden, Obama, Pope, Donald Trump, Trump, Don Jr, Ted Cruz, Nicknames, Eric Trump, Birthday, Clock Blockers, Father’s Day

Id: vbsUb-Mw0Eo

Length: 14min 2sec (842 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 15 2024