Jon on Corporate America’s Values & Klepper on SCOTUS’s Abortion Pill Decision | The Daily Show

[Music] tribe month is of course that time of year when corporations get together and financially exploit the decades long struggle of gay people for acceptance and equality hey remember when you were fire from that bank job after you were outed well Burger King does with a burger that has two bottom buns yeah that's that's not a funny make them up scarred by conversion therapy Skittles is releasing a colorless version of Skittles apparently not wanting to confuse gay people with competing rainbows yeah and then there's this ad showing a family overcoming a father's deep conservative values and as you watch it try and guess exactly what it is they're selling Mom this is Amy hi Amy hey [Music] Dad over your you're the happy birthday is that your dad what is he doing did I do it right I love you you like it I love [Applause] it what the f yeah the next time you waste an enormous amount of paint to apologize to your daughter for and a her and her girlfriend walk on eggshells all weekend not even saying anything just standing there with your little glowering beard face in the shadows you just paint the face and give her an Oreo and then of course there's Target pride month means so much to them that they set up one small area in their 20,000 square feet of store to sell you a pride t-shirt they had made in Indonesia for 29 cents Landing because they believe so much in the cause well Target will be dialing back it's pride month merchandise this June what how will I learn to live laugh [Applause] lesbian that's right target is apparently less proud of Pride this year but why retail giant Target is grappling with backlash from conservatives over its most recent collection celebrating the lgbtq community do not shop at Target or else you're gay and you're a [Applause] perber even if I'm just getting paper towels is that but that's the burden corporations must bear they care almost too much about The Human Condition often finding themselves in the crosshairs of ideologues and fundamentalists but they stand by their values sometimes for a couple of months for instance Post January 6th hundreds of Corporations announced the end of donations to senators or congressmen who voted to overturn the election and that moral stand in defense of democracy itself lasted almost a month yeah they ran the numbers and apparently you can sell more cell phones in a dictatorship but that month appears almost Gand esque when compared to budlight whose foray into inclusion was last April's incredibly not in the Public's face small promotional social media video with a transgender influencer named Dylan mulany prompting a conservative budlight murder [Music] Purge dear God man those beers had family amilies budlight sales plummeted stocks tank and it only took two weeks for Budweiser to issue an apology and run a new ad campaign designed to win back the kind of people who shoot at their products let me tell you a story about a beer rooted in the heart of America a talking horse you're apologizing about a transgender influencer using a talking horse well tell us your story National Velvet found in a community where a handshake is a sure contract this is a story bigger than beer this is the story of the American Spirit first of all I think that horse is scared shitless and second of all the apology gift to the people upset about Budweiser is a Budweiser curious but don't be sad for this is only following in a long line of hollow corporate pandering meant to convince you that not only are corporations people they're good people decent people who care about the systemic ills of this great nation we saw this very clearly in the wake of George Floyd's murder corporations saw people's demand for a Reckoning with America's racist past and they said sure us too we're on a 400 year long journey and scars don't fade but neither does Hope and in the fight against systematic racism and inequality Doritos is committing to amplifying Black voices General Mills serve the World by making food people love and inclusion is one of our secret ingredients craft times our purpose is to make life delicious and we believe we can't achieve that without one essential ingredient diversity [Applause] [Applause] are you sure you don't mean sodium triphosphate meanwhile while corporations forcefully pronounced their deeply held value of promoting diversity on network television their commitment only lasted until the protests died down time for the Morning Buzz major Tech Giants including Google and medic quietly slashing their diversity equity and inclusion jobs this year and laying off workers in those departments Dei related job postings in 2023 declined 44% I guess they only needed to use much less of that ingredient than they thought they needed turns out the recipe craft wanted called for just a dash of inclusion just a s of diversity so they're very clearly conflicted between the high moral values that they think we want and the amoral values that serve their shareholders so if I may address Corporate America quickly in this moment stop we don't need any of this we don't need to know that your products are used by only the most diverse families walking down sidewalks or camping or families doing a ride or getting a loan or doing laundry or aers or that who I don't know what they are this guy doesn't he's got a skin condition and no way is he dating her no way no way there is no way oh sure we're supposed to believe how many beautiful multi-racial young ladies are dating EXA Opie oh okay okay very [Applause] believable I I apologize I apologize sincerely to that gentleman and by the way for those on the right who wish corporations would just ditch the woke performances and go back to good old-fashioned patriotic values that's all too for God's sakes SpaghettiOs told us not to forget Pearl Harbor by the way why is the spaghettio so happy about Pearl Harbor is he remembering it or celebrating it I wouldn't be surprised if SpaghettiOs supported Pearl Harbor attack technically a can of SpaghettiOs is a sneak attack on your digestive system w SpaghettiOs SpaghettiOs the Arby's of pasta why are we allowing ourselves to get worked up over whether giant multinational corporations are prog gay or have traditional American values because corporations have but one value shareholder value that's all they have that Budweiser horse that wants to to restore our American Spirit is actually owned by a Belgian Brazilian beverage conglomerate that all American Clydes Dale's name is probably je bolsonaro even the corporations you think are sinere like Dove and their multi-year commitment to body positivity are owned by Unilever also the owner of ax body spray and their decades long commitment to anything that moves there is nothing corporations do that is not in service of their bottom line even when you go to the checkout at the grocery store and the little card reader thing says do you want to round up to help feed some children well the first thing I think is you're the one with all the food why don't you round some of that up and then they got the balls they got the balls to put out press release talking about how much money they donated to stop world hunger that's my money you tell those kids that's my money let's stop pretending that a corporation can even be woke or unwoke or patriotic or unpatriotic let's just let corporations live their truth as the prophit seeking Patrick baitman Psychopaths they are at the very least we might finally we might finally get some honesty from them as well we start with one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in American history Hunter Biden he's gotten away with being Joe Biden's son for years but today he faced Delaware Justice we begin with our breaking news a federal jury finding Hunter Biden guilty on three felony gun charges the president's son walking out of the courtroom earlier today a convicted felony wow wow frankly I'm shocked we're actually enforcing gun laws in America halelujah and what has been wild is watching how eager Republicans have been to hold a gun owner accountable of course it's only because he's Joe Biden's son but that's an opportunity all we need is for Joe Biden to adopt every single person in America and we can finally have some responsible gun control in this country yes let's move on to some news out of the Supreme Court last weekend an undercover activist snuck into a private reception and secretly recorded Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alo and no surprise it turns out that the guy who overruled roie Wade is a bit of a religious nut what was much more interesting is that this activist also recorded alito's wife Martha and Alo she's already been in the news for flying an upside down American flag at their house after Trump lost the 2020 election and then for flying a far-right appeal to Heaven flag at their beach house and if you thought two flags with a lot of flags this lady's just getting started you know what I want I want a sacred part of Jesus flag because I have to look across the Lagoon at the pride flag for the next month and and he's like oh please don't put up a flag I said I won't do it because I'm deferring to you but when you are free of this nonsense I'm putting it up and I'm going to send them a message every day maybe every week I'll be changing the flags holy this lady loves Flags I mean once Alo retires that house is going to look like a Spanish gallion I mean later the United Nations called they said tone it down with the flags you know but even Betsy Ross is like Jesus I was only doing this because we didn't have Netflix liking Flags this much is ironically the ultimate red flag and yeah thinker it's a thinker I also I also love how she refers to her husband's job as nonsense this man is one of the most consequential men in the country but she's like I can't wait until you're done with your little black robe so I can focus on what really matters semaphor so Martha Anne got so mad after seeing a pride flag that she's planning to put up a whole bunch of Jesus Flags to combat it because everyone knows Jesus is the ultimate symbol of your love and also if she runs out of flags don't worry she's thinking up more Flags in her head there'll be all kinds I made a flag in my head this is how I I satisfy myself I made a flag it's white has yellow and orange Flames around it and in the middle is the word vonia vonia in Italian means shame oh first off what a burn out Justice too your wife is going around telling strangers that she has to think up new Flags to satisfy herself I got to think up new Flags cuz it's not like there's anybody else taking care of my needs somebody's got a pley my Ferguson come on no not to be a hater but designing a special flag for yourself is literally a homework assignment my kindergartner just had he drew a butt farting on a stick figure man who I'm pretty sure is supposed to be me I don't love it but it still beats Veronia look I think there's a missed opportunity instead of getting mad at the pride Flags Martha Anne could use this opportunity to find Unity you love flags they love flags the people you really should be fighting are the lawn sign people no motion you can't see it from up high no way to tell the wind direction I mean those lawn sign people are animals and we all know it let's talk about the Fallout from the big political story in the news yesterday Hunter Biden was convicted of lying about his drug use when he filled out paperwork to buy a gun and can I just say how weird is it that in the past couple of weeks Hunter Biden and Donald Trump were convicted of lying on paperwork I mean this country really does draw the line at filling out forms correctly the next time I show up at a doctor's appointment I'm going to make sure my Sig in time is on theing dot so Hunter Biden has been convicted on all counts and may even spend time in prison I can only imagine that Republicans spent last night celebrating until the sun came up just because one Democrat was convicted doesn't mean the American legal system isn't being abused margerie Taylor green tweeting quote Hunter Biden just became the Deep State sacrificial lamb to show that Justice is balanced while the other Biden crimes remain ignored Hunter is them sacrificing a useless Pawn everybody knows what this trial with Hunter Biden was about this is about smoking mirrors this is the red herring this is a distraction this is part of a cover up this is part of a running protection racket from the highest levels of the US government downward to protect the Biden family this is the decoy that they can say there's equal justice under the law but it's all nonsense don't go for it don't let them sell you it understand exactly what's happening okay I don't want to make any assumptions about a guy's drug use but if I was Don Jr I would not try to buy a gun in Delaware here's a here's a genuine question for Maga world can you guys rest the conspiracy mongrain for just a second and squeeze a beat of joy out of this I mean my God you're all so miserable the last time a republican had fun was when she was kicked out of the Beetlejuice musical I mean think about this think about this your political enemy son is headed to prison and your mind immediately jumps to he's just taking the fall for Joe Biden let me tell you something nobody is taking the fall for Joe Biden he falls plenty on his own thank you very much just take the w When Donald Trump was convicted you didn't see Democrats going I bet this is just a distraction from the classified documents case or the January 6 case or the Georgia reran case or the egene Carroll case or the insurance fraud case no Democrats were celebrating I was in a Brooklyn whole food when the verdict came down people started fing in the bolk grain's ey today Trump met with some people who contribute even less to society Congressional Republicans there's more breaking news we're following only moments ago former president Donald Trump wrapped up his meeting with Congressional Republicans up on Capitol Hill it marked his first visit since telling his supporters to quote fight like hell just ahead of the deadly January 6th Riot yeah Trump was back on Capitol Hill for the first time since January 6th and I must have felt like visiting your old high school you know walk in the hall so many memories flooding back I remember Joey taking a dump over there Blake beat up a cop right over there we tried to hang Mikey over there just outside there I told everyone to be peaceful such good memories we should do this again how about January now this meeting was build as a chance for Trump to discuss the legislative agenda for his potential second term so let's hear how this serious serious policy discussion went it opened with members singing happy birthday to the former president because his birthday is just right around the corner what they saying happy birthday to him they're not waiters at a TGI Fridays mean isn't that embarrassing for everybody involved a room of adults wearing suits saying let's discuss our agenda to dismantle the regulations that protect our environment but first who's the big boy getting a year older and and today isn't even his birthday it's tomorrow I mean I know Trump has done a lot he's a convicted felon he tried to overthrow the government but now he's celebrating a birthday week the man's aing monster and the worst part is that Ted Cruz saying it sexy like Marilyn Monroe just bro bro you can't can't unsee that everybody okay now that Trump has blown out his candles and made a wish I assume to meet that three boobed lady from Total Recall let's get to that policy sources inside the room tell us it was a typical Trump performance bragging about his polls attacking Republicans who have opposed him questioning why Taylor Swift would support a Democrat apparently the former president made reference to Hannibal Lecter and said nice guy quote he even had a friend over for dinner at one point he even talked about Nancy Pelosi's daughter saying that her daughter had told him in a different lifetime she and Nancy poosi and Donald Trump would have had a great romance come on does Donald Trump have nothing better to do at Capitol Hill than quote Jodie Foster movies and act out Nancy Pelosi fanfic I mean imagine if you were a serious Republican Congressman in that room who came to work that day to get things done and make life better for your consti uents that person does not exist but imagine how annoyed they would be now to be fair Trump did discuss some actual Politics as you know the Republican National Convention is in Milwaukee this summer and apparently he just can't wait to fly in Trump said quote Milwaukee where we are having our convention is a horrible City hey I may not be from wiscons but I am from Michigan and let me just say don't mess with the Midwest buddy we will politely ask you to please stop and then thank you in advance and that's a threat Honestly though how does Trump not like Milwaukee the two main food groups there are sausage and cheese a salad just means the sausage has sauerkraut on it but let's move on from Trump and Biden to the people who actually run our country the Supreme Court today they issued a ruling on the abortion pill which religious activists asked them to ban on the legal grounds that they don't like it now traditionally that's a compelling argument for the Supreme Court but there must have been a gas leak because this time they made the right decision justices unanimously rejected a bid by a Conservative Christian legal group to restrict access to an abortion pill you by millions of patients every year the Court's decision unanimous here finding that the group of anti-abortion doctors who question the fda's decision to make it easier for people to get the pill did not have the legal standing to sue Justice Kavanaugh writes in the opinion quote a plaintiff's desire to make a drug less available for others doesn't establish standing to sue yes obviously you can't sue a drug just because you don't want somebody else to use it like I want cocaine to be less available to Don Jr that doesn't mean I can sue cocaine now to be clear you can't look it up to be clear the court didn't decide this case on the merits just on a technical issue of standing so anti-abortion groups still have another chance to get the abortion pill ban which is nice to know that they at least they get a plan B but but because it's 2024 we can't celebrate even a small win for Reproductive Rights without hearing about another step backwards Senate Republicans blocked a democratic bill that would have established protections for invitro fertilization Nationwide this all comes as the nation's largest Protestant denomination the Southern Baptist convention voted to condemn the use of ibf at its annual meeting just yesterday the resolution which received about 60% of the delegate votes supporting a decision in February by Alabama's Supreme Court which ruled embryos are considered children really really Southern Baptist you're against IVF don't you remember how Jesus was born that's basically the Bible version of IVF it's wild that they were inspired to do this because of the Alabama Supreme Court ruling that everyone hated that's like if you asked a comedian why they got into standup and they said I loved Kramer set at the lab Factory [Music]

Channel: The Daily Show

Views: 674,828

Keywords: the daily show, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, daily show, news, politics, jon stewart, hunter biden, donald trump, scotus, corporate america, pride month, jordan klepper, capitol hill, joe biden, biden, trump

Id: K7AZc826lBg

Length: 26min 13sec (1573 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 15 2024