Trump Puts on an Insane Show in Vegas, Santos Charges are Piling Up & Pence Drops Out

previously on Jimmy Kimmel Live we know you want to go Bigg or go home this year you know you want to impress your family we know you want to have fun I have my avocado in here up to 10 speeds soft start feature so it's going to give it a little bit I can decide oh sorry um but what I love is that I can decide how you know what what do I want my guacamole to be do I want it to be really thick do I want it to be chunky do I want it to be really smooth from Hollywood it's Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight Sean Diddy Cole Pete holes and music from Jesse Mur and jelly rooll with Cleo and the cleton and now Jimmy [Applause] Kimmel the show thank you for watching thanks for coming we have um you know let me tell you something I think you'll agree with me on this gar with all the unpleasantness and division permeating really every bit of just about everything in this country right now I thought it might be nice to start the show with something patriotic are you okay with that or is it too corny in Milwaukee last night a superstar of Music delivered what turned out to be a rousing rendition of our national anthem I not going to tell you who it is cuz I want you to watch the clip I want you to listen to it and take it in and as you do see if you can guess who is delivering this beautiful Ode to our United States of America are you ready if you're wearing a hat please remove it and we will begin and the rock is red the bers s in [Applause] there G proof to the night that our flag was still there oh wow look at that that's Flavor Flav flavor flavor one hell of a cover of Francis Francis Scott offkey oh the land of the free and the home of the pr of the bra of the bra wow that land of the free and the home of the flave that's you know when you have a clock around your neck you could sing for as long as you want they don't stop you hey speaking of big finishes former vice president Mike Pence told a group of Jewish Republicans over the weekend that his campaign for president is no more the Bible tells us that there's a time for every purpose under Heaven traveling across the country over the past 6 months I came here to say it's become clear to me this is not my time true his time was 1956 and he missed it Mike Pence made this announcement from the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas I didn't know mother even allowed him to go to Las Vegas my wonderful wife Karen who inspiring Faith strength and love saw us through all of our years of service we did did it all together and I could not have done it without her could not have done what you quit you ran for president for four months and then gave up and say what did and in Vegas of all places Mike Pence ending his campaign in Los Vegas could be a sign he's losing his mind next time we see him he'll be blackout drunk on TMZ yelling the only God I believe in is Chris Angel and it's a shame that he will never be president because I mean well for one just imagine all the wonderful dancing that would have been outlawed at his inaugural ball and while the GOP Primary may have lost a principled man who commanded almost 4% of the vote the space force just gained one hell of an Intergalactic Moon Ranger for that I applaud him you know Mike's Mike's for former owner Donald Trump had a lot to say this weekend despite the fact that a federal judge yesterday rein stated the gag order that prevents him from going after court Personnel the special counsel or potential Witnesses in the January 6th case against him Trump waited a full 75 minutes before violating that gag order he lashed out at a potential witness as former Attorney General Bill bar in response to Bar saying Trump's verbal skills are limited Trump didn't like that so he broke out the old thesaurus said I called Bill bar dumb weak slow-moving lethargic gutless and lazy a rhino who couldn't do the job see what kind of an idiot would hire someone like that but Trump was posting angry messages furiously until 12:40 a.m. then he started right up again this morning at 7:30 a.m. at this point he doesn't need a gag order so much as he needs a shock collar to contain himself Carrick bottom was also in Las Vegas this weekend where he unloaded some very self unaware comments about two other Buffet lovers I remember with that Chris Christie a guy shouts out he's a fat pig now he Shout It Out Chris Christie is a fat pig then they shouted out Bill bar is a fat pig he's a slob he's a fat pig you're not allowed to use the word fat you're not allowed to say that so they say Bill bar sir he's a fat pig and I say listen Bill bar is not a fat pig Chris Christie is not a fat pig sir but I said that cuz I just heard some call somebody a fat pig no we're not allowed to call those guys fat pigs it's a really good lesson he's finally starting to mature I'm starting to think he a he actually believes he weighs 215 lbs scammy Davis Jr put on quite a show for the Vegas crowd including a reboot of that alleged P tape rusher was rumored to have of him how about going home to my wife on the shower you know the golden shower they called it and and I had to explain that to our great first lady they said this thing with the golden shower the golden shower was a problem for me yeah well you know admitting you have a problem is the first step but good idea bringing that one back up I had almost forgotten about it then Rich little hands treated the crowd to a new bit he does which is a dead on impression of Joe Biden and he goes ah thank you thank you [Applause] [Applause] all right right imagine you got beat by a guy who does that it's incredible this is his new this is his new thing he's been doing this confused old Joe Biden routine a lot lately lately which made what he did the very next day in Iowa even more perfect well thank you very much and a very big hello to a place where we've done very well sou Falls thank you very much sou [Applause] Falls so City let me ask you how many people come how many people come from Sous City perfect s Flawless nobody even noticed it was incredible Trump was all over the place this weekend so we slowed him down to half speed for another edition of drunk Donald [Music] [Applause] [Music] Trump and I apologize for those lights the only place I don't have a light appear so that means we're going to have to wait we get tonight okay there's no light they give us plenty of likes but not to read this crap look they write a they wrote me a beautiful speech myself thr right out the [Music] window great he's doing great and despite all his many ridiculous flaws and the fact that he turned on almost everyone he knows he still occasionally manages to drum up support from old Pals in Iowa Trump locked down a major endorsement from one of his only former cabinet members that is still willing to be seen with him in public the formerly deceased Dr Ben Carson came out of mothballs to wow the crowd you know Benjamin Franklin was asked in 1787 after they finished the Constitutional Convention sir what do we have here a monarchy or a republic he said a republic if you can keep it the way we can keep it is we can put Donald J Trump back in office so much Charisma you know he reminds me of like a slightly older Bruno Mars the way he carries himself Ben Carson of course is famous for being both a brain surgeon and the model for the bear on the front of the Sleepy time te box he is um every time Trump needs to prove that he has a black supporter they pull Ben Carson out a cryo sleep like Wesley SN in in Demolition Man and you know who isn't getting any big endorsement these days George Santos has been charged with 23 counts including identity theft credit card fraud conspiracy and he could be voted out of Congress as soon as Wednesday thanks to a resolution introduced by his fellow New York Republican Anthony Diaz bazito whereas as a result of these actions George Santos is not fit to serve his constituent as a United States Representative now for there it be resolved that pursuant to article 1 Section 5 Clause 2 of The Constitution of the United States of America representative George Santos be and hereby is expelled from the House of Representatives and I say this as a man wearing 11 shirts at once George Santos is getting it from all sides now this is the scene outside the courthouse after he was [Music] arraigned you killed my dog G put that liar put that liar in the fryer almost makes it sound delicious like George Santos has been running from the the media but he did sit down last week for a very revealing interview with Megan McCain I've had reporters send questions about what is your skincare routine I'm like holy crap and then I literally said I spread Lam mer on my toast in the morning if that helps you use lir that's what my mother uses it's so good it it's it could it could be better but I've been very stressed so I'm breaking out but the reality is I've been using Botox since I'm 25 years old I'm not I won't lie about it and it's worked wonders I'm look I'm 35 I feel like I'm okay for 35 I use fillers and I don't lie about it I love how proud he is that he doesn't lie about something the one thing I don't lie about it's with all the charges piling up and uh this motion to expel coming on Wednesday George Santos clearly has a lot on his mind so I thought we should probably check in on him and that is how I won the gold medal in women's Greco Roman wrestling at the special Olympic hello um Congressman Santos hello oh God just leave me alone all right I'm mingling with my constituents over hell no what's going on with your lips I don't know what you're talking about there's nothing going on with them right George I just wanted to quickly ask you about look at this cute baby can I hold him for a moment goodness thank what what are you doing he's so cute I just got to show him to a colleague of mine oh okay all right he is cute yeah for sure okay hold on to say George always nice doing business George I'll see you tomorrow did you just sell that baby to a local scumbag no what are you talking about I was that's my niece first of all and I was protecting her from being kidnapped by the Chinese again oh yeah you know uh the NYPD said nothing like that ever happened that that was not truthful I I just want to ask you about this resolution to expel you from the house are you worried about that okay listen very carefully Jimmy I don't have time for this because this man is very seriously injured I need to take him to the hospital right away that man is not seriously injured at all and you don't okay somebody help that man he's going into labor I I just wanted I wanted to ask you about the expulsion vote they have to get 2/3 of the vote to smok screen see you in hell Jimmy that was okay this is this is serious you could be voted out of office this week I mean no please Congress isn't even in session this week because of a Jewish holiday what what what Jewish holiday it's rash hashan dummy oh no we've been over this you're not Jewish you don't know the Jewish holiday how dare you how dare you question my deeply held religious beliefs and this on my Bubby's birthday happy birthday to you oh this is your grandmother hi there what is your name uh name is Grandma my okay Grandma I don't think that's your grandmother and what are you doing in her are you stealing This Woman's purse how many sweet loes do you need in here I just my campaign credit card was in here okay um hey you have a trial coming up for fraud related to your campaign are you can you comment on that are you nervous about it why would I be nervous when I'm innocent of all the crimes I've committed and also all future crimes that I will commit in the future well where are you why are you going to the roof right now and what is that devel bad P this looks very bad George I can't hear you over the helicopter I'll try to tell him to turn it down yeah it kind of seems like you're fleeing I'm not fleeing I just got to go visit my constituents up in the sky okay all right you know you won't get away with this right that shows how much you know to infinity and beyond oh all right well Larry I hope he's amazing really amazing special [Applause] effects

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 2,815,638

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Cold Open, Milwaukee Bucks, Flava Flav, Mike Pence, Presidential Campaign, Las Vegas, Karen Pence, Donald Trump, Bill Barr, Drunk Trump, Joe Biden, Trump, Ben Carson, George Santos, Congressman, Nelson Franklin, Fat Pig

Id: 5F1f2_naE9Y

Length: 15min 43sec (943 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 31 2023