Tommy Cooper - The Best Of

okay good evening never got time for more as what a tradition simply trough for live ducks look see that is what is the same it's a little trim like the food ah it's a very famous egg factory a sayings abate my teeth itch I won't have Dennis he's about to throw my gums gonna come out he looked at me and I said I've got a turtle pages up there see and up there it was show you some are taller I do I said what's that because he spoke that's it I'm gonna paint up those over I what is I'll x-ray so you get these little tiny x-rays like that little sport we like that I do put out there I'm sitting there like that and they bring this x-ray machine didn't see but yeah anyway just like that and he took it out and he looked at it and he said no wonder hurts you do you got a finger poked out there hey there as I was waiting to go in the sea the same tears and I was sitting reading the magazines was it off of it that Titanic another segment vanish before your very eyes and your home our feet are killing me there every night when I'm lying in bed to get running throat like that now season watch me very closely and if you see any suspicious move don't say this egg will vanish before your very eyes you won't have the slightest clue where it stopped yeah on the other hand I've got four fingers in thumb better see Freddie Arabian slightest tree where it's gone heaven hey we're home now another one thank you when you put your hand it's on the bag and you bring the egg out with thunderous applause it's not my night I've always been unlucky I'm gonna cigarette light another won't go out I'm gonna see her mother won't go out ah make it so so we can this doctor I said it hurts me when I do that he's what don't do it yeah I love you last night I would had everything in French surprise everybody it's a Chinese restaurant and I said to the Saudis waveless a lot this checker I got his code he's what sugars been dead two weeks after not only that I said I said I said it twice ah he's got one lakeshore nether is what you want to do ether or dancing I said forget the chicken there's make a video that how's it give me a given lobster so you brought the lobster I looked at it I said just for a minute I think just a minute I said I see you only got one floor he's been in a fight don't give me the winner to be or not to be that is the question whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune I had a bit of bad luck you saying I'm a bit of a party and I said the officer but I'm in a totally set is I don't care what kind of car you can't park here or to take arms against a sea of troubles I always travel by sea I never fly I did once I flew to America and there's a film on board now I already seen it I walked out halfway through and by opposing end them to die to sleep perchance to dream how do funny dream last night I dropped out eating a 10-pound marshmallow I woke up this morning the pillow was gone to sleep and in that sleep what living poetry namely from the tongue it's a poem a little poem entitled I can't get over a girl about you so get up admit this to yourself there once was a Scotsman named Andy he went drop up for Andy they blew up the froth useless kilt as a cloth and the barman said blimey that's handy but stop you now the fair Ophelia and there's a girl for you pretty as a picture I'm not a bad frame Arthur house you're not like the wife I'm not saying a wife exactly I'm not saying that what I was walking in a street the other day with her a policeman said to me his fever sir have you reported that accident Claire I've isolated only one wonderful Lord's eye before I girl I want to see your little song which I wrote on a back of a bus cuz I didn't really paper at the time Thank You maestro Oh Amelia Alex Celia you're hard to win you know to me van Delia I squeak Cecilia has had a day oh oh oh Battaglia I think you're really up so very sweet what a snap Emilia idyllic earlier that I coulda done all together now Leah please Romania in love with me sorry Amelia Amelia on bended knee the rain please famous vanishing walk there's a white tip here in the white tip there another reason for the white tips is to separate the ends from the center I get worse please never hand over that can't fall down a solid one but banishment for your very eyes it is a great job there was a in the jungles in the jungle and there's a hyena you know a hyena and he's talking he's talking to this monkey and he said to this mighty City is it you see that little passage that level thing down there low and narrow it just down there you see that big clump of trees and bushes and this monkey said yes he saw what I got home that way every night it I don't have to but you know it's a shortcut for me I've got home easy but every time I get to that budget sheet trees there is this lion jumps out and throws me all over the place is it I don't know why pick on me all the time he's throw me about bashing about is it and then he goes you thinks it's funny you know I mean so no smoke he said I know what you'd be is when I tell you what it's a ah I'll come over it's like you know is it to protect you so he said we're doing it he said yes so so they shook hands on it nothing arrived and just shake it there sure and it started water sources topic trees city I'm kind of larvae I know it's good my nose and it got top of this cupboard trees and he was just gonna turn like that and the Lions shut da I got this higher I went deal and there's much he went run up the tree and left him there look at him not that and awesomeness like boom-boom and left the sign on his back like he made me like that no he's like I thought this monkey came down I was standing beside him this high in his like that and he looks up in this mug he said what happened he said thought you're gonna help me he's what I was he said what well I looked down is it your life is so much I thought you're winning so what so so I'll tell you what I'm very soft-hearted really I have on so I wouldn't harm a fly I don't never use these fly killers never I use this instant starch doesn't kill him but they flied out their window ladies and gentlemen of the other night and man came here from a doorway so if you see the policeman around here I said no he's a stinger a lot of people express their feelings through different ways some people will express their feelings through a song other people express their feelings through poetry but tonight I would express my feelings by speaking to you through my trumpet video you gonna over in glasses I should be locked up see this leaf I saw this I saw this uh believe on a tree or on his own all on his owner was because it's little brothers and sisters had been blown away over the wind so I thought myself I take that little leave home and I put it in a little flower pot on the windowsill with fresh soil and let the Sun gleam on it so that it would grow into a nice big tree all proud all on his own and then I thought oh five hearts ASA spades credo diamonds but the a space down there five half down there Andy Queen Adamas is completely vanished both sides the Matt look what this side is it bad cause I like something here now at random mr. Randy would you think of any college life in the pack so we don't tell me think of any card no artistic much heavy swords right that is his mind of a method have you don't mind I don't matter I put the cards in this now this duck we'll take your chosen card from that pack they may have seen a tough through that before but be fair right two dollars bigger than that you know some guys there's great performers like Al Jolson remember al Johnson he's a single man mega son tracking ocean right I eat dinner of a microphone knows that no microphones none at all he's get on one knee and sing people run from the back to shout and say things like ow we can hear and the other great performer the best of them are thing is still being cross don't you I do it for you they have a spot please I'm over here the blue the blue to go someone waits for me now holy leader will you make up your mind what he will do that light are you know flipping breasts now you know sometimes when you see these men on board ship aircraft carriers I think they call a baton see because they bring the planes they like that on the aircraft carrier you see the regard him in see I love you my oppression alphabet one of these men on his aircraft carries time the planes in and he's had too much to drink this tissue holder thank you thank you very much well it lovely audience well I must say you have been a good audience and I like the clothes that were made oh yeah I've been a pain here all day Oh is it hot heat that does it it's different every time oh what a day I made I went to see my doctor I had you Raziel and he said to me he said can I help you I said yes as I get these terrible dreams either what society through these little girls keep coming towards me beautiful girls like hey put it away they come to words that keep prison away he said what he want me to do as a break now you know what you lie down on the couch as a word for ease I want to sweep out after but seriously da fastest serie octina as a chief doctor doctor I said I have broke my arm in several places he said what you shouldn't go to this place is a quick joke is a man having a bar between the front guards so you turn to speak like that the flames get higher and higher iron high and he's singing oh no music oh yeah the Flavian are high and a drop box by senior singers alright but your monkeys on fire I'm here the please makes you come down what when awesome what yes our absolution from this heavy cloth a large killing me oh yeah my wife just phone videos before the show and she said to me I've got water in a carburetor how's the where's the car in the river oh that reminds me well beep oh hello is that the gpo I won't complain about my my phone bills they keep going up and up but why is so big what because did you like sitting here that joke the man you wasted the doctors little bird on is it doctor say what I look I didn't for you as a person would you take this man off my feet another lady's gonna I like you now to meet hello shoot right friend of mine Billy buck come on come on say hello to everybody but here we go say hello say hello what are you gonna sing what do you guys think hop on the street gonna see guide guide any common that's nice and it'd be brisk I must speak to inspector Smith he hates me is that you inspector what is me you know me don't listen I've got the news you wanted I could tell you who the killer is the killer's name is the killer's name is but whose name is I'll ring him back later is too much noise in it now I believe you have a black belt yes and before that I had a brown belt before they had a white belt and before that my trousers before that it's not karate experts and repair what are they like Marvis oh yes oh yes japanese japanese yes what was about that high C and a but that didn't better he wasn't C about it and these six men came towards him sick my son for the war and the old cable was an attack them at the same time what happened no no chance no tell me yeah now what would you do if a man came towards you with a gun in his hand about 50 miles nah you're right now is the time now since I believed that you were going to break these four bricks in halves with a single blow of your hand that's quite right yes quite right see because for these that there is like solid steel yeah I don't feel any pain no pain at all this hand is a killer no yes it's a wrong hand it's this way a very famous magic shop however I make the clock disappear from the box so hula ha ha ha ha I make this way I want to hit my next great backup rop-chok 'a zibari white hankies white hankerchief yes anybody here is ela I'll give you one of mine if you could um what's your home to put four minutes it wants to do I should go down here like this see ya I said stand here like that right I do be up there yeah I was creep towards me and try to hit me in the back with a plank of wood sure about it oh yes cuz you're wonderful chance you see because I still stand like that I also turn on rake trip me up or make that way I don't know I make a lot I see nothing take the wood and give me the eyes oh if I'm not very good at hitting people don't worry I'll tell you what let me take your shoes off so I can do come again at all right see no don't forget that click on any time you like because I've got Mazen reflex I mean if you knew him I'll tell you what can you cough put the shoes on oh and this time when you come down cough not that yeah I mean you better give me a chance I'll report yes I know I got Mason reflexes yes right come down see and cough now as possible until you can you sing not not very well any particular song anything at all come up here see and see this song and cut down very heavy like that ah it's a long wait okay that's it surprise attack surprise a tree what have a wearing a blindfold and bang a big drunk everybody general I show you this wonderful trick now for the Gypsy VARs ovae's i will now produce a bouquet of flowers a bouquet

Channel: Mike Davey

Views: 24,323

Rating: 4.7113404 out of 5

Keywords: Tommy, Cooper

Id: z7GtlKby5J0

Length: 45min 46sec (2746 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 07 2016