I Laugh I ADOPT A Child

welcome to Jurassic Park [Music] hello everybody and welcome back to my YouTube channel or welcome to my YouTube channel I'm call me Tyrannosaurus Rex and you can call me Tyrannosaurus Rex and today we are going to be watching children that sounds really bad I want to decide whether I want one of these little things you know and uh if I laugh I have to adopt one that's what I've decided didn't say when so got you there let's watch some kids be funny [Music] I don't know who is on threads or not but if you're not on threads get on threads and give me a follow alright I'm putting just absolute chaotic nonsense on there that's all I'm posting on there and if you're not following me you should be following me that's it alright that's my Shameless plug Jay is also on thread so give him a follow as well I was a little baby little doggies look at that oh my God baby's gorilla gripping that duh get it out of its hands what are you doing as a parent how do you just let the Divine kid do that all right as a parent how do you let that happen like all babies do is grip and put it in their mouth that's all they do I mean that's all I do too but it's iPad kids I didn't get that could you try again [Music] I know what he said he said subscribe to call me Chris that's what he said oh look at it took it on a little cell phone she really sounds like she's like having a conversation you know I I I I'm convinced that babies actually have their own language like a Stewie Griffin situation and we're just all too dumb to understand that language or we forget that we had a language before we got out of toddlerism I don't think that's a word but it's my conspiracy theory I have 137 nuclear warheads trained on every Capital City around the globe oh God a silent face where's the cry there it is oh my God she's she's the oldest she's like I'm not contributing to this Tyler that is probably the worst sound ever and that's why I always think about like oh yeah kids would be nice but then I hear a kid go on a plane and I'm just like um maybe not have I laughed yet am I adopting a child yet Jay did I laugh at all oh I hope this kid falls I hope oh they're gonna face plant come on give me some I'm not crazy I swear watch till the end okay what's gonna happen hahaha it was kind of funny I said goat oh my God and he's hit he's head butting him that's my kid I wasn't even bat in the eye I'd just be like yeah that's Jason yep I named him after my editor yep I guess I gotta I gotta name my my first adoptive child after after Jade out when you're in the wrong place at the wrong time ah oh babies are so dumb aren't they stupid stupid little little people with their little cute little chubby legs that I just wanna yeah why do we want to do that as I think mostly probably females why is it that I want to just bite a baby's leg like not you know to draw blood but I just want to like I just wanna is that why some moms like eat their babies like in in the wild and stuff did you know that um did you sound like a two-year-old trying to explain something did you know did you know that did you know that when did you did is why it prevents the mom from eating its baby that's why babies are so cute did you know that now you know that I don't want to eat babies by the way it's not I can just see the headlines now call me Chris admits to eating babies that's not I'm just okay wait till the end oh she's flying there's no way she gets out of this unscathed oh oh she's really cute oh she stuck that no yeah that's my kid I want that one I picked that one can you do that and is that how you adopt kids you're just like oh that one's cool can you just put him to a test I like kids and I think adopting is important you know there's a lot of kids without families and I think that's important I think I I think I'll do that one day we'll see if I actually laugh in this video which I don't I don't think I've laughed in this video Kid Likes His corn [Music] it's pretty cute he's like don't you could take my corn again I'll break both your [ __ ] kneecaps all right while you're sleeping in bed yeah I'm gonna take my little my little Rattler that you got me I'm just gonna [ __ ] pop pop you're not even gonna know what happened you're just gonna wake up confused with busted kneecaps you want that no give me back my corn [ __ ] all right this baby is from Brooklyn by the way Jay knows I likes cookies JJ why can't I why am I speaking like a toddler dog Jayla knows I likes the cookies Jay tell them how much I like cookies she loves cookies specifically chocolate chip cookies does not like oatmeal raisin cookies for whatever [ __ ] reason why it's true I cook your day keeps the doctor away and that's scientific no oh not nice that's mine that's pretty cute this kid has Authority broccoli yeah eat your veggies first Mom oh my God it's plastic broccoli too what a Savage and she walks away with her cookie I'll take that one too take that one put it in my cart where you going swearing toddlers oh take a [ __ ] I'm gonna go take a [ __ ] maybe I do need a kid that's funny I guess kids are like you just kind of train them like you train a dog but they can like talk and [ __ ] oh my sister's having a kid I'm gonna be an auntie by the way I'm gonna be a real Auntie Chris for those of you who don't know I'm gonna teach that kid out of swear just when Jessica's like okay here's little baby George uh have fun with your auntie Chris bye Georgie and he'll be like Mom and I'd just be like hey George and he'd just be like maybe like yes I'm kidding I'm not gonna do that I'll do other things too like give them ice cream for breakfast and buy them all the toys he wants I'm gonna be a fun Aunt I'm not a lame Aunt I'm a cool ant don't I give those cool ant Vibes I feel like I give those coolant Vibes dummy is in your bedroom you're dummy you don't need it during the day what's a dummy and what happens when Santa's gonna take it well it's a dummy oh my God I love when kids have accents no Santa's taking your dummy Sheena what's Santa taking a dummy takes it what are you gonna do then get my dummy no she's like no Mommy you're not having your dummy yes yes no Santa's gonna Nori what is a dummy is that like a Soother the kid's funny I don't know what a dummy is but I'm assuming it's suda just soothe the kid to make it shut the [ __ ] up I've heard that those aren't good because they make your your kids teeth separate over time I know a lot of weird facts about children not like that just like I I raised I helped raise my four younger siblings so my mom told me a lot of do's and don'ts what an honest restaurant for the whole day yeah I'd like peace and quiet no we don't tell them oh my God she sounded like she was Irish oh I'd like some peace and quiet oh no we don't sell that sorry wait I want one of those can I order an Irish one to put an Irish one in my basket I want one of those oh I love when kids have that's the cutest thing ever when babies when little baby toddlers have accents oh I love when they're little Scottish ones when they're like there's this little girl there's a clip of it I gotta find it and she's like we needed some therapy baby my uterus said did you poop toddlers be like oh my God is that oh my God look at that load that she's packing back there nope I don't want one I'll delete I'm leaving the cart I forgot about that we are so not efficient as human beings like animals just go out they just [ __ ] and they usually leave it out there and you just keep going like these kids are just [ __ ] their pants literally why can't we teach us not to [ __ ] in our pants why can't you just teach your kids [ __ ] in the toilet I guess they like fall into the toilet because they're kind of small but teach your kids [ __ ] outside or that's what my kids are gonna do I'll be like little Jimmy sorry little Jason Jason ghost [ __ ] outside like your daddy taught you like your daddy before before that Daddy taught her taught their daddy I don't know what I'm saying so far can you climb out oh my God his little hat that's pretty cute cult oh it's so adorable God damn it how do you get one I guess I would have to be with somebody with an accent and then I would just I guess that's the only way I'd have to be with somebody with an accent I have to move to England find somebody with a strong English accent Irish accent Scottish accent any accent I guess and then just not I I just never talk to that child until it starts talking in the accent and then I can ensure that my child will have an accent that's not emotional emotional torture at all is it why won't Mommy to me they get you to have an accented to be adorable don't look at me I shouldn't have kids but I wanted to stay there forever shall we pack our things oh my God I love I love parrots that [ __ ] with their kids like this oh bye-bye no no no his name is Grayson kind of a weird name Grayson that too you like get to name this little thing and it gets to like run around the world and it just has that name that you gave it like you can just really [ __ ] that kid's life up you know like the song A Boy Named Sue if you haven't listened to it you should listen to it can't play it on here because copyright purposes but it's about this Dad that names his son Sue so he'd be tough because you have to be tough with a name like Sue as a boy it's really messed up and then sue grows up and then he meets his dad at a bar and the dad's like yeah I'm the one that named you Sue and then he beats the [ __ ] out of his dad and his dad's like yeah what is that song man you should listen to it give it a listen Jay have you heard that song of course oh my God oh my God I just cracked my dude we can't play the music because of copyright the song in the background is a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops it's Reba and she put her little kid to bed and then she went to work on that pole because she's a working mom God damn it I respect the [ __ ] out of that kid that's so funny that kid doesn't even know how funny she is and she's funny God damn it oh I should give her my channel I guess he said it behind closed doors it doesn't count what is a swear hey [ __ ] I laughed oh he said it's so funny when kids swear why is that so funny because they're so little and innocent or are they kid swearing is always gonna be funny Hey Dad I want to show you something bring me the remote oh he put his back into that [ __ ] oh again oh [ __ ] I gotta adopt so many kids now oh my God holy [ __ ] he sounds like he said that word for for 49 years that sounded like he he just went through a divorce and he lost the settlement on the kids you know what I'm saying oh ice cream oh dude that ice cream's gonna fall don't be weird oh my gosh why do all these kids have accents he's so cute no don't be weird that's what I said all my first dates when they're like hey can I have a little bit of that I'm like no don't be weird I'm the weird one I don't go on first days I'm fine you got a fishy let me see can I see the fishies he's got a fish it's okay why do kids put stuff in their mouth like that stop it stop putting [ __ ] in your mouth that you don't know what that [ __ ] is fancy thank you Hennessy Hennessy Daddy oh Hennessy tea party hell yeah dude oh my God Stars this is the family I want this is so good yum oh damn bite let him bite oh that's some good candy ah no no you don't need a child talking to myself no honey you don't know how to jump you just learned how to ski I love my favorite thing in the world is kids in snow suits I it's my favorite okay so now she's not gonna go okay you're gonna go right [Music] hi look at her go oh she wiped out but that's all right she's a little badass that's awesome that was me as a kid like literally she's going Mach 5 down the [ __ ] Mountain I'm taking names and slaying hoes what I didn't slay her I I'm grounding myself [Music] it's been a while since I've been down here it's hotter than I remembered maybe because it's summer I have a summer home down in hell do you want to visit okay everybody I hope you enjoyed the video if you did please like the video it really helps out the channel and also subscribe if you haven't subscribed this is obviously business YouTube channel ever and uh you know what I I don't know if I'm gonna adopt a child soon but maybe one day she's hold me accountable ten plus years from now just come back to me and be like hey you said that you would but I had fun you know what I just want to give a shout out to all the parents out there you're doing a great job I know raising a kid is probably hardest and I will not understand until I have a kid of my own but you know what have fun with it you're doing great I love you and to all those little kidlets out there be nice to your parents all right okay I will see your beautiful face in the next video alright bye

Channel: Kallmekris

Views: 2,162,785

Keywords:

Id: L7BTc-FTwZM

Length: 14min 29sec (869 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 08 2023