Thor Ramsey, Sinbad "Thou Shalt Laugh 3" | FULL STANDUP COMEDY SPECIAL

live from the historic mayan theater in downtown los angeles it's thou shalt laugh three starring lisa alvarado taylor mason leanne morgan thor ramsey and horace h.b sanders and now the man who still thinks his childhood dream of making the nba is possible the hilarious one and only sinbad [Applause] first of all i want to start because you know this is this is a i guess christian comedy which i don't really know what that means because christians are just as jacked up as any other people in the world we just have god who go like this you jacked up i'ma let you in anyway so god has got to have a sense of humor as what he puts us through think about because you become when you become a christian see my dad's a preacher so i've i lived in a home that i know how crazy it can be to be a christian you know compete with you chris like are you christian oh dude don't jump on me like that we are messed up we will fight christians will fight don't you read the bible you don't anger christians we smite we smoke we cut off heads we roll over your village we have a thing about us because this thou shall laugh god has a sense of humor because he gave us 10 commandments we can't keep he gave us 10. don't kill don't steal them because the best things in life he said don't do you can't kill nobody because think about it if there's no commandments if your neighbor took your stuff gone now your life moves on but as a christian you're like this i love you anyway although you stole my stuff [Laughter] because you're trying to go to heaven think about it if god has said there's no heaven just when it's done it's done really i mean i get to kill people i'd like you not to but i'm saying is is there any repercussions no there'd be some dead neighbors you know that so that's why he gave us heaven and all these things to do and i look at us now we we're the new generation christians we're like the 2000 christians because back in the bible that was some serious faith like he asked peter to get out the boat that's why i could not have been a disciple i let somebody else go first i just said i don't swim and jesus is mad at me so i want to ask i want to help some people in the audience any christians who had questions about something any question christians who have had doubts about something have been trying to read the bible trying to ask your friends would you get an answer yes do you know if you get a husband when one says i like you see how easy it is we thought it was gonna be deep you thought it was gonna be deep god makes it easy when a man says i love you that's your cue but don't go around downtown there's a lot of crazy men down here you'll get a lot of love so it doesn't count downtown get in your car and drive away so see i have the vision i have the thoughts anyone else yes huh why are we here because we're taping a show you are here because we're taping the show and you stood in line and you got in that is why you are here tonight these are all good questions yes shout it out how to explain the trinity it's three there's three some people are confused by that but they think it's four but there's only three anything else yes huh should a christian or mercedes if he can't get a bentley he should it's how big is your faith if your faith is only mercedes faith and that's all you should have but you might not have gas god might not give you gas you have to be careful what you asked for you got to ask for all of it i like mercedes and some gas money we're healing people yes why do people have the bible have more than one name bad credit had to get new utilities even back then electricity water gas sometimes you were joshua sometimes you're jeremiah just trying to get the gas on man just trying to get the gas on yes your daughter's pregnant what you do be a good grandfather which means you do everything you didn't do for the kid that's how you mess your kids up you be nice to the grandkids to jack up your children that's how you pay your children back that's the key to being a good parent it's hard being a parent it's hard trying to raise a child right yes my name is simba i could fight the evil i was given that name so i could fight what it is i am sin bad but what does that mean am i bad sinning or sin badly if i sin badly it means i do not sin if i sin badly i do not sin you did not look further did you you did not look you're a man who reads the scripture but does not see y'all ready to get this show started my man's from michigan like i am he's from detroit i want you again for mr horace h.b sanders y'all [Applause] all right how y'all doing my name is horace h.b sanders i'm glad to be here i was a little nervous that i wasn't gonna get the call for this show this is the third season of it you know this is the third production and i found out sinbad was on it i was like man that's the black person on it already when i found out he was light-skinned i'm like getting together we one dark black position it's mathematics it's funny to me you better learn to catch up enjoy yourself i can't laugh for you oh man this is cool man and uh they're very professional about this they were like horse make sure you turn off your cell phone before you go on stage i was like don't worry sprint already took care of that my phone ring it's a blessing somebody else paid the bill for me they are terrible wait i get my credit together i'm leaving sprint baby you can believe that they are they will cut you off for a nickel they called me up one time mr sanders we'd like to know when you're going to settle your balance i was like i just paid three hundred dollars yes but your balance was three hundred dollars and five cents ain't nobody down there got a nickel in their pocket y'all play too much this is horrible man oh i can't stand sprint my boy is always running to me man i called your phone some girl answered her like what girl you know the pscs number you reached has been disconnected it's like oh i broke up with her she keep getting my number say everybody got cell phones now i'm saying i was talking about myself everybody got one i missed the old days remember pagers remember pagers i don't even mean with voicemail i mean with just the numbers you had to punch in the number people had to call you back remember that remember pagers man you want to text somebody you had to be sweet you'd be like zero seven seven three four oh that's hello all right what's up sadness they talking in tongues [Applause] man i'm trying to figure out something to wear too you ever get dressed up because all your other clothes are dirty don't get bougie on me now i know i ain't the only one your friends see you and get excited like oh you got an interview no i gotta wash like i'll see y'all on tuesday like yeah i was wondering why you had your prom dress on you put on all black it looks sweet in the house you go outside in the sunlight realize it's two different blacks she'll be like this don't even match [Applause] this is navy blue i'm gonna be late for work again all right we got ladies here ladies hey women got all kind of styles and fashions y'all play too much sometime though like when it's hot then it gets cool it gets hot and cool women start wearing stuff like short sleeve sweaters or y'all go further a sleeveless turtleneck come on make up your mind what's next a long sleeve tank top could you cuff my wife beater high heel house shoes look i can reach the apple jacks and be sexy you ever pour your cereal in the bowl you go to pour the milk and that's when it's only like that much milk i got a bowl full of cereal with an ounce of milk let me rotate this get all of them a little wet that's good enough or you ever go to eat it and you look at the date on the milk carton it was like yesterday you like how accurate is this maybe this milk don't know what day it is maybe this milk is from california i got three hours more for this day i got three more hours funny than me and people started talking all the time you christians i do a lot of shows a lot of churches and people are always like you know it's always some people generally the older older people in the church they like they always started like that you know ain't nothing good coming off them they're never like i love you baby and those are the people i call extra christian you know what i'm saying you know you go to get chicken at kfc they got like regular you know what i'm saying churches think that reagan they got extra crispy that's them extra christians i'm saying always judging everything i don't know baby some people out there that's always negative you know everybody got a friend like that don't you at least you know somebody like that that i don't mean negative sometimes you know they having a rough day rough week even the hard month everybody here knows somebody that's negative all the time this is my rule if you don't know nobody like that then it's you we talking about you being negative now with my question just you know what i'm saying just don't wait they even sleep negative man hurry up and wake up [Music] and they don't just be negative to themselves they got to be negative with you they negative spill over you could come with you know something nice anything you say pleasant i don't care if you're male or female you got negative people i call them player haters on both sides you could be out walking walking through the park you see somebody pushing a stroller with a little baby you'll be like oh look at that little baby look she laughing she liked me she probably do that with everybody like a hater or ladies you could be out shopping with your little negative player hating girlfriend like oh girl look these heels are so cute i bet you they ain't got them in your size like why do i shout with you well fellas you ain't worked in months you finally get a job hey man i just got hired at the plant i heard they about to go on strike just hating and hating ain't new player hating they say there's nothing new under the sun it ain't new it's in the bible they used to hate on jesus for real every time he would do a miracle sadducees and the pharisees would be over their player hating on them jesus go out there and walk on water all the people like look man ain't that jesus he just walked on water he gonna play haters man that ain't nothing but some ice wait till december i can do that too or jesus fed the multitude in case you all know that's a whole bunch of people with two fish and five loaves of bread or five fish and two loaves of bread depending on what church you go to everybody always happy man look at jesus he just fed everybody plus the women and children with two fish and five loaves of bread or vice versa he got a player haters yeah ever he didn't cook the fish though did he it still got the bones in it i need some ketchup or hot sauce with my fish and then the biggest thing he did the most important miracle we celebrate he gave up his life they ain't take it he gave it up then three days later he rose from the dead i'm seeing and he was around y'all grad clay and he was walking around they said for 40 days he did all kinds of miracles that you couldn't even counter in all the books of the world so you know people had to be out there man look look ain't that jesus from nazareth they crucified him and look he back from the dead he must be the son of god he go to play haters yeah but he still got them same sandals on though don't he if he knew he's coming back he could have went shopping first i know some of y'all out there being extra christian don't do no jokes about the lord or you'll go straight to hell like some people don't go straight to hell they stop at the mall first to get outfit uh y'all got any sleeveless sweaters we got a jehovah's witnesses here any joke witnesses everybody get quiet because the fear fall across the room we'd be scared of the wrong people think about it it ain't even a joke but how come when they come to our door at our house where you pay the mortgage or you pay the rent you live there all the time they get to your door you hide in your own house they come to the door you jumping behind furniture get down be quiet don't say that hold it baby keep them quiet turn that light out mama that sunlight i don't care turn it out it's the witnesses you scared in your house of jehovah witnesses people with suits on and books and papers but let the police come to your door with the guns out you'll walk up there and wipe it is there a problem here is that problem [Applause] but i have some in-laws i have some relatives that drove witnesses so i like to learn about people and it's things i didn't know like i didn't know they don't celebrate any holidays you know this like no christmas fourth of july had no fourth of july no thanksgiving no halloween or nothing they don't even celebrate birthdays i start thinking man next time they come to your door don't run just go to the door with a birthday cake [Applause] because i can't just talk about people that's negative that's the opposite side anybody know what optimistic means somebody tell me it means think positive it's a bright side to everything it's all in your perception you know what i'm saying it's a bright side to everything if you don't like your job enjoy the ride to work get some music you like like i'm gonna be late i gotta hear the chorus if you don't like where you live it act like you're visiting keep your coat on and talk junk i'll see y'all later i'm about to go like where you going you better wash them dishes if you don't like your kids act like you're babysitting i'll be glad when your mama get back she said nine o'clock but you my mama can't i have a dream i got five daughters look at that they're all clapping like oh somebody got more than me five girls a man and the youngest three are right behind each other today and they all you know they're blessing they're cute but i didn't know how expensive kids were man my oldest daughter was first born i was so geeked to be a daddy i was excited you know what i'm saying cause my parents are great and i was like man that's my baby i was like the sky is the limit i bought her huggy supreme diapers for real and i'd be like that's my baby changed her i want her wet i don't want her bottom soiled man i saw after like three weeks how often babies go to the bathroom how expensive the huggies is man after three weeks i started saying it ain't leaking yet she's straight see baby that make your legs strong you're gonna be walking before everybody my one daughter the second second youngest we uh we i never knew what what the sex was till they were born but we named her micah now that could be traditionally a male's name but it could be a female's name we didn't know at the time we named her that she would have a deep voice she's three years old with a deep voice but sweet and kind as can be good morning daddy daddy i love you daddy you're the best daddy like i love you too baby i'm gonna have to talk to your mama see if she knew lou ross a few years ago this is ridiculous you my daddy and we got to be smart too being christians man sometimes you know it's a lot of churches opening up people open up churches as long as you're teaching the truth you know as long as you're teaching from the word of god you know and you're teaching what's right that's important that's the most important but people got so many churches now popping up all over they picking names all kind of names they're just picking any name about the bible you can't just pick any name about the bible i'm saying the bible is full of good and evil we're getting all kind of church names now lucifer baptist church i ain't singing in the choir there judas faith ministry [Applause] i ain't giving no offer in there sodom and gomorrah baptist church i ain't going to men stay there oh now if you don't get that joke go to bible study this week cause that is hilarious but we gotta learn to be good to each other what i'm saying be kind show kindness to each other you know walk in love it's hard to do sometimes people do dumb stuff like stupid questions you ever had somebody ask you stupid question you can't do nothing about it cause you need them you driving one time i was riding i get off the freeway to get something to eat i get all turned around i don't know how to get back to the freeway i'm like well let me uh we're gonna ask this guy in the gas station excuse me sir uh could you tell me how to get back to 401 from here no from your house i go outside i see a guy pumping his gas excuse me sir could you tell me how to get back to the 401 from here hmm you want the quickest way no i got a tank full of gas tell me the scenic route [Applause] don't you hate when somebody asks you something that you just said i'll be back i'm about to go to the mall oh you about to go to the mall i just changed my mind oh don't you hate you go to the movies with somebody neither one of y'all seen him before halfway through it they turn to you what's going to happen next did you see my name in the credits i remember one time i was waiting at the bus stop right trying to look as cool as i can at the bus stop a complete stranger walk up and me and do this little head thing you know so you know i'm hard too bust come yet but i told to keep going cause i was waiting on you they say laughter is good like medicine you ain't got a job with benefits you better get a funny friend work on your copay all right y'all that's my time my horse h.b sanders god bless y'all [Applause] all right what's up y'all like that we got a lot of young people in the audience a lot of young people i want to help you understand your parents i see you right there i see you with your family i see you young lady i see you right there you look like dang they dragged me down here i wanted to go to disneyland they brought me to a christian comedy i know i want to help you tonight i want to help you understand your parents because i think young people need to know their parents you know sometimes you're with your friends and you look at your parents like i hate my parents we hate you too sometimes so don't feel bad let that hate come out have you ever come in the kitchen your parents quit talking they were talking about you these are things that all children should know so i want to help couple teenagers any questions about your parents that drive you crazy i hope you understand your parents sometimes you just don't understand any kids young people here teenagers yes your parents repeat things over if you do it the first time they'll repeat know what they repeat see even if you're not gonna do it act like you're listening that's what i did with my parents when they say something like this oh okay i got it do that learn to do that because it makes them feel happily like they did something parents like to feel they accomplished something but were you standing with that little teenage look we think something wrong with you so next time she actually do something like okay i got that i'm gonna do it in about five minutes just say that she'll leave me go back and watch tv text do what you do go on my space my mama trippin just do what you do normally anything else young people teenagers even younger shout it out kiss up to who kiss up to your mama you don't have to kiss up it's your mama she is your mom you don't have to kiss up what are you trying to get here's the point there's something you want right what do you want just open the door man dude what's wrong with you man have they not shown you how to get out your house [Applause] just go to the door do this and push when's the last time you've been outside today when you go home find out where the door is at act like act like you're sleep in the car and watch how they get in the house and use that same way to get out because they probably told you you can only come in this way you can't come out that way [Applause] that's why every child has got to get a ged every child no child left behind no child left behind y'all ready to keep this going a very funny young lady lisa alvarado please give her some love hola i would be the token latina on the show gracias yes my last name is alvarado which is spanish for single parent thank you yes and people tell me all the time that i do not look latino but i finally figured out why it's because i stopped wearing all that black eyeliner yeah around the lips i'm actually generation first generation here peruvian born in the united stand yes and the sad thing is when i tell americans my nationality how many of them don't even know where peruvia is stupid right i'm like hello it's by ecuadoria now that is the joke that i use to gauge the audience intelligence and uh some of you passed and some of you not so much all i'm saying is just go home tonight and study seriously just open up a geometry book that's all it takes i'm not even the typical latina i'm like the black sheep in my family just because i got pregnant in my late teens you know i would not recommend teen pregnancy to anybody but i would looking back i wouldn't change my decision on that because god gave me this beautiful son who i adore and now i have this relationship with jesus christ which is amazing thank you and we were poor we really were because i didn't have a career or a job i mean you know you're really broke when your only option left for dinner is to boil a macaroni necklace so what i would do is try to convince my son that we were actually richer than we really were i would take him to these parks in beverly hills but i didn't fit in with the moms whatsoever i mean they're walking around with their money and accessories like their diamond watches and their gucci sunglasses and their husbands so my mom retired and she moved in with me which is great and it's also actually the law because i'm latina and now i'm also becoming my mother i start doing everything that she's doing ladies you know when you hang out with your mom i'm embarrassed to admit i actually washed a paper plate we went to a buffet two weeks ago i got home and opened my purse there's a banana and like 50 sweet and low in there oh my goodness and i'm trying to look for a good male role model for my son and so my mother suggests my brother good idea he's a sweetheart but can i just say he's not the sharpest tool in the shed here's a perfect example he's babysitting my son for me i get home at 10 o'clock at night he's in the front yard with a flashlight and a piece of paper i said uh what are you doing he goes i'm helping the kid with his homework says here how many centimeters in a yard okay which leads me to find a different role model and so now i'm dating and it's just hard to date but i'm looking for that special guy you know just to share child support checks with kidding i don't get those uh let's keep praying huh and uh [Music] bad luck with men i don't understand i've lived in los angeles for seven years the longest dating relationship i've had out here was for a year one year that's it well i mean he left after six months but uh i stuck it out the other six um i'm gonna make it to an anniversary if it kills me so uh i do have some great advice to impart to the women in the audience from my dating experiences first of all ladies have you been on a date ever and the guy is physically pushy doesn't it bother you that you get uncomfortable i have a line that works great all you have to do is lean and shake his hand hi peter pan welcome to never never land right and also it's really important to date a guy that wears really good cologne my personal favorite is that new 401k stuff is yummy and now i only date christian men because i think that they can see things about my character and personality a little bit quicker for example i was out on a date with this guy it was our third date we're out to dinner and he leans across the table and says to me i know what your spiritual gift is i said wow that's really soon he goes you have the gift of singleness [Applause] i was like oh yeah well i also have the gift of prophecy uh-huh yeah and you and i will not be speaking in tongues you guys have been wonderful thank you so much god bless lisa alvarado no y'all give her some love that woman looks too good somebody she don't have a man she don't limit yourself to christian men find yourself one that you can convert i'll look at i mean let me deal with this right now i got a couple minutes here uh a lot of women we're talking about like finding a man how many we're looking for how many women trying to find a good man just trying to find a good trying to find a good man see the key is you're looking your standards are high and it's killing you fix the upper think of a fixer-upper i mean you do it in real estate you do it when you buy a house you do when you buy a car you got to see the potential say a guy is missing a couple teeth you can get him some teeth other women don't see what you see you see a tooth where that gap is at and then when you give him a tooth your friends where'd you find him that was that toothless dude and now he's never had an apple he owes you he's so happy to eat solid food he'll fix your patio he'll walk your dog but don't give him permanent teeth if you leave get your teeth back because you might need it for another man just try that remember that the key to finding a good man is also to be a good woman there are a lot of women looking for a good man but you crazy yourself check your crazy meter always check your crazy meter if you say i draw crazy people to me no no they came with you you didn't draw them to you they came with you just remember those are the things so now we're gonna keep this going we got another comedian very funny don't like him too mr thor ramsey give it up all right thank you oh please sit sit please sit come on sit sit don't worry we'll edit in footage you're standing later cause we got it so we're gonna use it magic television want to thank indiana jones for allowing us to tape in the temple of doom here roller coaster rides for everyone after the show uh make sure you get your complimentary monkey brains on the way out so i uh was at a restaurant the other day leaving the restaurant not even a mint basket mint bass mints are vital are they not they are vital because not everyone carries mints that's why your most practical mints are tic tacs because you can load them in bb guns and shoot people with bad breath in the mouth jim i or just happened to me you've been breathalyzed [Applause] so you got a special candy for people with bad breath they got no candy for people with b.o someone needs to invent an underarm mint put this under your arm minty restaurants without mint baskets clearly demonstrates our country is suffering from a customer service crisis we are suffering from a customer service crisis the other day my wife and i ate at perkins now if you're not familiar with perkins they're a lot like denny's except they wipe their menus pretty much the distinction of fine dining right there so they see this and our table's sticky right our table sticky so i asked the waitress i go hey can we get a rag or something our table's a little sticky and wipe it off and the waitress rolls her eyes at me and this is when i realized she wasn't getting tipped she brings our food right and she's serving us she knocks my tuna sandwich off the plate onto the floor now make sure that she picks up the sandwich walks to the kitchen two three four moments later moments returns places a sandwich in front of me and says there as good as new i know these rules don't apply to everyone but two of my rules are i don't eat food off of floors and i don't lick doorknobs at truck stops those are just my i don't want to force my beliefs upon you but i apply those things to my life because they're very similar and then i notice there's a hair on my plate and i'm like there's a hair on my plate i'm not she picks it up goes don't worry that's not from the floor that's mine but we're suffering from a customer service crisis i believe because we have an entire generation now they've grown up without customer service they don't even know it exists and somehow they have all the jobs and they all have the guitar center attitude which is pretty much why should i help you when one day i'm gonna be a rock star there's another example actual footage i'm at taco bell because if i can't get good customer service at least i can get authenticity i asked a young man behind the counter hey what's the difference between a a regular gordita and a baja gordita the kid actually does this he actually does this he looks at me he goes then he just continues to look at me he doesn't look for help to ask a manager he just looks at me and says hey pal maybe you should order food you're familiar with try a taco now that is just laziness i swear a lazy person can sleep for 12 hours they will still get upset when you wake them and what'd you wake me for i thought you wanted to ride home from work [Music] don't you yeah mop up that drool for somebody gets workman's comp but there's this other issue about customer service it doesn't have to do with laziness it's this thing where they just they're they help you but they ignore you have you experienced it like hit their grocery store or something they just talk to each other but they i'm a blockbuster video right i'm checking out and the clerks are chatting with each other helping me but ignoring me completely they're having a little fashion conversation and the one clerk turns to me and says you dress really hip i'm like it felt so good to be acknowledged and then she turns to a friend and goes i wish my dad would dress like that there's not a dome of silence here i'm a customer we are here we are here we are here we are here and you ever walk in five minutes before some place has to close and see the look on their face like five minutes before subway shutting down like yeah i thought you locked it i thought you locked it man can i get pickles on that sandwich we put them away already we put the pickles away so here is my uh this is my solution the customer service crisis and if we all participate in this uh idea i think we can we can defeat it so here's what we do the next time you experience bad customer service don't ask to see the manager ask for an application fill it out get a job there work your way up to manager then fire them exactly i travel a lot i travel a lot not a sightseer though you know people are always like you should see our city i'm like seen one i know i bet there's a starbucks there is but i was driving through arizona and i stopped at the grand canyon now i will say if you're driving through arizona you should stop there and see because not every city has a big hole so that is something to see uh this is a true statistic i found this out every year six people fall one mile to their deaths off the edge of the grand canyon while they're uh how should i put this marking their territory men i should clarify men if that statistic included women it'd be much higher because that was a whole different balancing act going on but i'm thinking to myself if you're gonna treat one of god's seven wonders of the world like it's a toilet he's gonna flush you and that could be your brother pulling that stunt when he falls to his death you're gonna laugh jimmy he's got no pants on all right second issue of the evening i'm on a campaign to eliminate valentine's day i will have a petition in the back you can sign valentine's day must go i've been married for 15 years this thursday i am out of ideas i got nothing left i got nothing every year it's the same flower candy cards candies flour ah that's it that's all there is and you can't get her candy you know cause then it's your fault so you can't do that and try a florist try call before give me your best arrangement for like 20 bucks yeah exactly hey honey how'd you like your seeds i uh picked those out myself because they fit in the card one year i did now one year i shopped i went i should i went to the i victoria's secret a store makes me nervous i don't know about you i got a pace out in front of that store for like 10 or 15 minutes before i get the courage to walk inside and once i get inside i got to walk around 10 or 15 minutes i got the courage to try anything on so it's it's uh oh i'm sweating it it's a con it's a confusing store it is the lady helping me goes is your wife an abc or d well i know she's not failing [Music] she actually asked me she goes uh what did you have in mind what did i have in mind man why do you think people shop here what did i have in mind what were christians so i thought i'd get her a miracle bro you know and there's this weird thing about that store if you're the only man in that store all of a sudden you are the advice giver if that's even a word there's a lady she's not she's just shopping there she holds up this i don't look like something missing from a parachute i'm not sure what it was and she goes do you think my husband would like this like ma'am i think if you duct tape a dish rag to your stomach you'll get the same results so i'd save myself 60 bucks if i were you and go to the kitchen in the garage and get the proper ingredients be okay we don't think correctly about love in this country we don't think of we don't think right about love because i think because our cultural standard for romance and love is the romantic comedy when we go to these things and we're like then you go home to your life but you again your life's never going to be like that they don't share the guts of life the reality of life you never see meg ryan with a pair of tweezers pulling the hair out of tom hanks ears they don't show you that or as my wife takes a pair of tweezers pulls the hairs one by one from my ears something i find painful and unnecessary she wants to make sure she's being heard i guess then i'll show you that yeah they don't they don't show you what ruins an intimate moment you know when you're nibbling on someone's ear and your taste wax they don't show you that i love you they don't show you the guys who clean their belly buttons and then smell their fingers then i'll show you that let's be honest folks come on something many men including myself enjoy doing and i i'm not sure why that's a comforting smell it's like umbilical therapy oh yeah those were the days man float and get fed that's when life was simple there's a lot of there's a lot of displaced anger in marriages for honest and i think the reason that is is because ladies sometimes you ask us what we're thinking and when we tell you sometimes you cry so we stop telling you we push it all way down inside that's why sometimes you'll find a man in his office just smacking the stupid printer what's the matter this finn are stupid what are you acting like it's a stupid printer what's wrong with just a stupid printer why are you acting like you can't handle money what printer won't take my money i can't get it to go in this brings us to the most controversial part of the program um i'm going to talk about christians and their attitudes about procreation now kids if you're in grade school procreation just means we're for creation it's like christian environmentalists is really what it is that's one meaning of procreation the other meaning of procreation kids is that you're staying with grandma that's the other meaning [Applause] we get a little uptight about this particular issue which i don't understand because theologically we serve the god who created sex that's the god we serve that's where that whole phrase god is good came from like god is good all the time see exactly i was uh playing at a comedy club in houston texas years ago with a a friend who didn't uh share my faith and he was going off and how prudish christians can be and i shared this verse from the bible with him this is from proverbs chapter 3 and and i quote rejoice in the wife of your youth and let her breast satisfy you always he could not believe that verse was in the bible i had it memorized because i am standing on the promises of god that's right i am not just a hearer of the word i am a doer of the word and i love practical application honey let's have a bible study come on because there's there's an idea that permeates our culture it's in the church it's outside of the church it's everywhere that you have to be emotionally connected in your marriage before you're physically connected and that's poppycock because if you're waiting for an emotional connection it may not come but you can't remain angry with someone that you're physically intimate with gary i try this the next time you're in the middle of a knockdown drag out fight just take off your clothes i guarantee you i am so angry i can't even i'm not that mad it'll keep the connection going my lovely wife and i we did uh in vitro fertilization six times now if you're not famous in vitro fertilization it's just a scientific way to have babies that's not as fun so uh now if you're not familiar with the whole in vitro process and i didn't know let's you know i've never done this before let me do this i want to get the audience involved i've never done it like this but uh you guys are a lot of fun tonight so i'm gonna will you come up will you be would you come up come on up here go ahead you're volunteering there you go give him a hand give him a hand just if you stand right over here a second great and then uh you right here will you help me out come on come on up give her a hand here we go come on all right help you up here there you go and you stand right over here now what is your name young man jesse jesse jesse and what uh are you in high school college what are you school what year are you ten you're perfect and and what is your name ma'am maria maria okay now generally people ask me what's the primary difference between natural pregnancy and in vitro fertilization and that's what i'm going to demonstrate with your help here okay so i use the analogy of a junior high school dance and i still say junior high i know people say middle school i refuse to say middle school there aren't hobbits involved it's junior high okay stop calling it that all right here is natural pregnancy as a junior high school dance okay you got a nicely decorated gymnasium over here you know like this is the gym and over on this side of the gym you have one eighth grade girl okay because they only let one girl come to the dance every month okay now on this side of the gym you have two billion eighth grade boys okay imagine two billion of him okay so we got two billion eighth grade boys over here then the band begins to play and the boys are everywhere they're bouncing around you can act this out any way they're bouncing around they're trampling each other many are killed or partially wounded but not one idiot makes it over to ask her to dance and even if you have a low student body count you still have 500 000 morons who can't find one girl that's natural pregnancy and all this takes place underwater by the way okay in vitro fertilization works like this okay you got the same thing again a nice junior high school dance decorated nicely over here now what now let's say in this class they have 38th grade girls what they do is they take 26 of the girls and they freeze them don't worry their parents have signed permission slips okay and then they put four uh girls out here on this side of the gym over here you have your two billion eighth grade boys but you have a teacher take the boys by the hand walk them over to the girls and say now dance and that's how babies are made give these guys a hand give them a hand thank you very much my name's thor ramsey you guys have been amazing god bless you good night all right see it six six [Music] where's my man that was up here dude you were so scared that was your one chance to get a number you didn't even use that opportunity you could have hooked up you was the only one of three billion that was left you could have had car payments and mortgages you could have had happiness beyond all happiness that all men here have that are married with children you could have had what we have the joy of love and marriage and payments ain't got good when he came up with marriage that was that's why i know god got a sense of humor he said i want men and women to get together and stay together till they die and he knew they couldn't have that's why he said to death do they park he didn't mean you couldn't kill one of them he said to death do they part because you cannot hate to you love i'm gonna teach you something at 15. you will not love to you hate you have to love someone to hate them i hope you understand look at young folks who are dating see they're smiling look at the married people it's hate love it's like i'm with you but i wish i had done something different and it's okay i think the key to marriage because the throws toward the key to marriage i think the key to marriage is being honest i think the key to marriage is being honest with someone it's like wake up and morgan like you know i wish you weren't here right now you should be able to say i was hoping i could sleep so long you'd be gone but you slept just as long as me and that kind of honesty and talking will keep you together for the rest of your life if you want to stay together a long time don't talk don't marry people i'm talking about when you walk in when you see each other just what's up and you walk through the house because when god created marriage we only lived to be 13 so it's only like five years so you was in and you was out savior lived to be 80 or 90. that's 70 years with somebody that's too long that's too long to be with somebody the only thing you got left is to outlive them that's the only thing that's the only thing that keeps you there is i will not die before you i swear you will die before me you will be in the bed next to me dead and that will be my that's my victory and sometimes you just fool them ha ha still here and if you stay married long enough you become one person one can see one can hear one can walk one can use their hands you have to go to movies together one watches one listens you need each other one goes to the bathroom you miss half the movie that's marriage i hope you find somebody i know you can't wait after i broke it down like that all right this is a very very unique young lady those who have never been to the south don't understand the south you about to get the education in the south so let's give a hand up for leanne morgan y'all leanne morgan [Music] thank y'all so much thank you i'm tickled to death to be here some of y'all got looks on your faces like oh my gosh we got tickets to hee-haw well yes you did i'll tell y'all a little about myself i want to be help i want to be a help mama and i don't realize how unhelped i am until i get to los angeles california and everybody's here up here but i want to be help i don't want to be a goober mama have y'all seen the goober mamas the mamas that wear blue jeans to up their armpits you know i don't want to be like that so i went to the gap to get some low-rising blue jeans have you girls bought pants in the last five years oh my goodness terrible okay i went into the gap this beautiful darden a little 19 year old heifer um brought me in a pair of blue jeans to try on i did okay the zipper honest to goodness was about that long and they hit me about right here and i said to her i said is my stomach supposed to be hanging [Applause] out over [Applause] my blue jeans it looks like a small purse [Applause] i said are my panties supposed to be hanging out this far out the back of my pants she said no you're supposed to wear a phone i said excuse me mias but i'm a christian i don't use my panties for evil i said do y'all sell any sweatsuits she brought me out this shiny velour number i bought it now it looked like p diddy did y'all know there's size zero with the gap there's psi zero with it you know what i think i think if you don't get a number you don't need to be in there that's what i think you know where you need to be at home and your baby being that's where you need to be and let your mama shop for you at the gymboree or somewhere like that my husband and i met in college while he was stalking me you girls know what i'm talking about don't you he was on fire for me he bought me presents for no reason no special occasion he asked me to marry him every day well i did and i've had three children by him things change when you've been married a hundred years doesn't it girls now i have to give birth to get a pair of earrings we were at the university of tennessee knoxville and when we met and i was getting my undergraduate degree it took me a long time because i'm really fun and um he was getting his mba and i thought oh my gosh i'm marrying hoopty-doo he is so smart he can reconcile a checkbook there's no telling where we're gonna go what we're gonna see what kind of life i'm gonna have with him well we graduated and he decided to buy a used mobile home business in bean station tennessee y'all don't know where bean station tennessee is do you okay it's at the foothills of the appalachian mountains have you ever seen deliverance if you haven't i suggest you don't it'll mess with you um he moved me there and he wanted me to be in sales for him so i did that day till i saw a family drive up in a gremlin with the wind out and a nine-year-old smoking a cigarette she lit it off of her memo and um so i went home that night and quit um that job and i got pregnant and um i had three babies in four and a half years is right it hurt [Laughter] i was pregnant and or breastfeeding for six straight years in the foothills of the appalachian mountains and the mountain people would say to me don't you know what causes that [Laughter] um i noticed here in los angeles a lot of little girls have on low-rise and blue jeans good for y'all i'm tickled for y'all good i say let your little light shine as long as you can let it shine when i see those darn little girls in the audience i like to share with them what their future is gonna be because my mama lied to me because she wanted a grandbaby so i'm gonna shoot it to you straight okay there's a uniform that mamas wear day in and day out when they're at home having their little children grace wet pants extra large their husbands haynes white undershirt with two breast milk stains looking out the window thinking where is she going with lipstick on i'll never forget the day that i found out about my baby child i have three children that i'm in love with and my little uh baby child i that day i knew something wasn't right i didn't feel good i thought oh my gosh what in the world i don't feel good oh surely the goodness i'm not pregnant again this quick and you know when you got to know something and you got to know it right then i was crazy i got my two babies in the uh car seats and i got their diaper bags and all that stuff you take with you when you have little children and i drove them to the walmart in the foothills of the appalachian mountains and i bought an ept pregnancy test and i took it in the stall at walmart and i tinkled on it and my three-year-old boy looked at me he said what is it positive [Laughter] and it was and so i got him in the car and i drove home just as fast as i could and i called my husband at work and i said you're trying to kill me aren't you where you're not going to you better get home right now cause i'm gonna walk out in the woods and let the animals eat me but god knew better than i did because that doll baby is been the joy of my life she is my third though and i think when you've had more than two they beat you down and um it's hard to discipline that many little children it's my fault i'm the one that did it i was tired but um anybody here that's had more than two you know that that baby child out of four or five who how many ever that they cry when they want something and they know how to get it and that's what she's done she get to crying i said what's she crying about she wants your toei well just give it to her i can't deal with it and so now i've created this little booger that i'm having to deal with and she says things like did i say i wanted oatmeal but she's a funny little somebody let me tell y'all she's 10 years old and she loves office equipment she plays office all day long every day in our house she sets up little offices throughout our house with old broken down equipment and cordless phones and stuff like that and we spawn her and she'll be working she'll pick up the phone she'll go if you can't get that order in i'm gonna take my business elsewhere and you know when a child has a birthday how mamas will call you and say what's she into what can i get her and i said well she needs office supplies my middle child is 12 beautiful athletic smart cares about school precious precious child and has been very responsible and she's needed to be because i've had to go out on the road some doing comedy and years ago when i started i told her at about seven years old mama's going to nashville and i'm gonna be gone for three days but your daddy's gonna take care of y'all she busted out crying i said what's wrong she said don't leave us with him he doesn't know where the food is so she's always been in charge but she's 12 and going into seventh grade and the old she's going through puberty and she can't help it that she's crazy she's mean as a snake and we're scared to death over all right i'll give you an example i'll be in the pickup line at school and my children go to really small school and the mamas wait out in the vehicles all right i see my girls coming out every day and they're in a good mood i saw it i saw the look on their face and they come out and they're goosing each other and tickled and then they waved to the teacher and the principal see you tomorrow okay then they come over to my minivan get in shut the door my 12-year-old take her backpack slinging hit me in the back of the head with it every day she says something like this i'm starving to death you don't have a piece of cheese in this car you're driving is making me car sick she can ask me some of the craziest things one day she's saying did jesus ever have headlines how'd he answer something like that i said well baby if he did i know he healed it and then my girls will be whipping each other in the back seat knocking and banging you can hear flesh hitting and knocking and all that then my sweet boy my sweet boy will come out and get in the car and he'll say you know they're building a new home depot up on 281 just as easy going he is about to turn 15 he has never sassed me people say it's coming i don't believe it because i'm let me tell y'all about him sixth grade he was this little bitty round little bitty boy and husky britches and overnight he just shot up into this tall thin beautiful man but he had hair under this armpit this one he didn't but he had this little girlfriend and um they kissed on the lips nearly killed me i tried not to act shocked but he came home and told me and i said okay baby that's normal god made us all sexual beings and this is normal for you to have these feelings but baby let me tell you that if you start you know holding hands that could lead to you know putting your arm around her and then before you know it it leads on to something else and he looked at me and he's saying mom she and i prayed about this we're not gonna let anything happen like that and i said you angel from heaven i believe you and then all i could think of myself is some of the nastiest things that ever happened were at the adams united methodist youth fellowship on a hayride it did for me did it for y'all i was on fire about hey i wish i was now i could get a new purse out of that um what kills me all right we're very active in our youth group and in our church and um i just want to know who was the fool that came up with the lock-in what is a lock-in oh let's get all the hormonal teenagers together and let's put them in the church and let's shut the lights off and lock it maybe somebody'll end up pregnant are y'all with me i don't get that um my husband feels pretty good um he's a little grumpy because he's got to make a living for me and all these children and we don't turn the lights out like we're supposed to the only thing is he's unhappy with is his hairline he's got a receding hairline i think it's distinguished looking but he hates it so i said why don't i take you to my hairdresser and we'll get her to buzz you one of those hollywood hairdos like justin timberlake you know what i'm talking about real close to the head so we did and um she did his hair and well we didn't know his head was pointed [Applause] and he said i look like somebody and i can't quite think of who it is and i said is it bull on night court he said no that's not who i was thinking about about three days later he said i know who it is it's that lazy starfish patrick on spongebob squarepants um oh y'all i wanna before i get out of here i want to tell y'all share with y'all my sunday morning this is how my sunday morning goes all right i get up before everybody else so that i can get ready for church so i'm going to blow my hair out put my makeup on my pantyhose my dress then i get my three little children up and i get them dressed and fed all by myself because my husband's [ __ ] and and then eventually he gets up and pumps his boxers and coughs up something and he starts flaring his nostrils at me you always know what i'm talking about don't you he's so tickled with me he can't help it he starts flaring his nostrils at me and i know what's gonna have to happen and it's up to me if it's a good sunday we'll get to go eat chicken after church if it's a bad sunday we'll have to drive all the way in the minivan while he cusses to church it's up to me and my little children like chicken [Applause] [Laughter] and i like to think of myself as a good mama so i say to my husband [Applause] okay i'm only taking one leg out of these pantyhose thank you all so much [Applause] [Music] one leg out the pantyhose women what do you think men want what do you think men want maybe that's the problem because they y'all don't really ask us y'all talk to other women about what men want what do you think men want respect no we're gonna get that um that's way too much to ask for i don't know if any man has that so respect that [Music] like you're gonna give that one up [Applause] [Laughter] that's they're just trying to tease don't listen that you don't like ain't gonna happen uh what we want but thank you some woman that's been married a remote i want my remote i want my batteries fresh and don't talk to me hammer number vote and don't talk to me give me my remote and don't talk to me and then you can keep both legs in the pantyhose cause i got csi to make me happy i want him because we have one more comedian but i got i've been doing so well with the questions helping people out any other questions about anything else why is he why is economy so bad because you know we we're spending too much if you know we can save this country we should not buy nothing for six months you sound crazy think about it don't buy nothing for six months and learn to live off the land grow some plants live live off the food you have if you see loose animals in your neighborhood that way we're using what god gave us we're using if it can't run fast god gave it to you that's the secret so the key to not buy stuff is to get rid of your children give them to people give your children away for a month just find families that will take them like angelina jolie she'll take some of your children if you have black children madonna will take some of those children and then you can live without kids for a while you save a lot of money one more question when you think the second coming is coming i mean the second show see people are scared to say the name that's second coming who who when jesus coming he's here i saw him he's at the 7-eleven if you go to 7-eleven in studio city he has coffee every morning i see him he's got flip-flops on he has long hair he told me i'm here every time i go by he goes i'm here and i give him change i'm going to heaven i give him change he said you're going so i know i'm the only one i know about everybody else and i shouldn't have told you that's my spot i think it's going to be i feel it's going to be december 16 2010 and from wrong okay we'll keep this thing going right now very very funny and unique comedian i know you're gonna love him and his friends mr taylor mason [Applause] hey i'm glad to see you guys too thank you very much how about sinbad huh all the ads what a nice and i'm thrilled to be here with you guys i'm glad you're here um i brought all my toys as i always i never go anywhere without my toys this is my buddy i know you okay i feel good this is my buddy robert he's a lamb what do i do i need you to grab wool and pull what grab wool and pull the lamb on my hand that is disgusting that's it just pull oh you're doing a good job it's all right what is wrong with you cotton ball all right hello robert not everybody sounds the way they look say hello hello you okay you look hot i'm wearing a sweater you are a sweater okay all right you guys let's get along let's work together okay okay okay i'm good general all right i thought maybe we'd start with some music huh i thought we'd start with some music okay we're going to sing a song about noah's ark whoa it took noah 100 years to build the ark you know why why hondito get out of here my impression of the home depot hello hello hello hello oh get out of here don't do that help no no we're not doing that do your other one what he has another one you have another impression see it's hilarious all right what is it paris hilton in hell oh no tara shelton in hell do it it's hot oh come on [Applause] i told you whatever whatever that's not what we're doing we're singing a song about noah's ark and there were two of every animal on the ark three pigs no there were two of every animal tres cochino no listen to me created senor no there were two of every animal on the ark duck sticks the ark ducks did yep how do you know duct tape get out of here man stop it here we go ready who starts i'll start stop still listen to me god looked out at the briny scene he'd held the evil the single man declared he would destroy the land so he spoke to noah noah stop god said noah build an ark i want you to build it big and strong build it 300 cubits long 30 high 50 i have a tattoo what i have a tattoo you have a tattoo it's true a tattoo i do what does your tattoo say it says eat pork oh now look no paco it's okay i know you're scared no you need deodorant oh get out of here well after god told him what to do noah began to cut a new the ring on the handle was judgment the ring and the thoughts of the general pen for a hundred years they had it on solid building that art by the grace of god and after the foundation was laid they hewed the timber and the ark was made then he called them the animals two by two the ted the lamb and the kangaroo and then he called on javith sham and ham and who ham who ham noah had a son named ham i told you there were three kids oh get out of here you sit here what do i do you just stand right there i will just stand here senor are you okay i am okay all right these puppets can be anything you want them to be on my left hand he's robert i put him on my right hand he's a whole new puppet hello hello who are you brittany britney britney shears oh [Music] you sing better than i do that's because women are superior to men oh really go girl it's all good hey hey hey why are women superior to men what's a woman's best friend a woman's best friend is a diamond what's a man's best friend yeah okay all right a dog no tv remote control oh come on stop here you sit over here what you sit next to paco hold up are you okay yep wait a minute what's wrong who are you what do you mean are you robert or brittany yes we are okay the puppets can be literally anything they want to be it kind of comes from where i grew up i'm originally from illinois born and raised i went to the university of illinois in champaign urbana where i double majored agriculture and communications do it right i can talk to the animals perfect you know what i learned in graduate school you can sell anything in america you could sell anything in america you could put gravy in an aerosol can people would buy it you give it the right name and a nice package there'd be people in the store hey look at this it's gravy it's all in the name you know domino's pizza here's a joke to take home and use all right that's what we do we share our gifts joke to go okay take this home and use it dominoes next time you order dominoes make sure you're getting dominoes call them up and order 10 downloads peaches one at a time call them up order a pizza hang up call them up order pizza hang up wait 30 minutes there'll be 10 domino's pizza delivery guys lined up right outside your front door push the first one if they're really dominoes they'll all go down i've spent my entire career not working alone i work with these puppets are you good i'm good this is uh my buddy romeo whoa all right you okay i don't know man here my neck hurts sorry your hand is all sweaty okay stop all right what's up girl all right all right all right all right [Applause] romeo don't do this get your feet squared away let's do our thing good looking group yep what's up okay where did you get an attitude i got a job what are you doing i'm a motivational speaker you're a motivational speaker that's what you do for a living check it out man you inspire people to be their best and be number one i have a different take what's your take let the other guy do number one if you're in the top five you're okay come on man no no that's not what people want what do you mean people want to be successful you want to be successful you want to be number one no the second letter in success is you [Laughter] people want to get out of bed in the morning and make things happen i say sleep then let them do the work you pick up you're okay come on man early bird catches the worm the worm that sleets late doesn't get eaten [Applause] no romeo that's not motivational speaking to me it is people want to unleash the power within i had a burrito for lunch you don't want that come on what we're doing are you ready yes we're gonna do a little music you start ready kick it man can you dig it i can dig it can you dig it i can dig it you can dig it i can dig it they can dig it they can dig it we can dig it we all can dig it you can dig it i can dig it you can dig it we can dig it i can dig it you can dig it we can do it they can dig it i can dig it he can dig it she can dig it we can dig it they can dig it i can dig it you can eat it we can do it they can do it i can dig it you can do it we can do it they can do that i can do it okay all right all right come on then abraham he told moses moses told you she told ray charles she told us and now we're telling you that we can dig it you can dig it i can dig it you can dig it you can dig it i can do it we can dig it they can dig it i can dig it you can dig it they can dig it we can dig it i can dig it you can eat what we can do they can do it i can take it you can do it they can do it i can do it you can dig it all right all right all right fine what are you doing you stand here on the stool what i just want you to stand right here i just stand here yep whoa [Laughter] he's okay you got what's up [Applause] how you living girl all right all right you feel me see it's all an illusion what you mean the puppet is not real no yeah but i got it going on all right whatever whatever she is checking me out leave her alone leave her alone say goodbye yeah the great thing about what i've been doing with my act is i try to incorporate thank you as many um people as i possibly can let me get this set up the right way because this is very very important this puppet is very very interesting actually um what we do is we share our gifts whatever is that we do we share and so i'm going to need a couple of volunteers you two on the end whether you like it or not we only got a minute come on up here give them a big round of applause everybody i appreciate you guys coming up this is a brian built right immediately and now brian he's deaf dumb and blind tommy can you hear me he can't he has no senses you are this is melissa and you are melissa and jared are going to help us out melissa take your right hand put it inside that hand puppet right there all the way inside jared your left hand will go right inside there melissa your left hand will be his right leg jared your right hand will be his left leg we are going to create comedy on the fly okay brian can't hear or see kind of move him around just to get the feel for the for brian the way it's going to work oh that's good you guys that's good oh you guys are awesome ooh can you hear or you can all right we've got oh all right you okay somebody is good over here all right all right i'm gonna give you an eye okay okay take it away take it away all right ugly ugly ugly stop it stop it stop it not you okay oh stop okay i don't know how's that ooh all right hello leave her alone why don't you leave no no no no no are you okay you can see everything now yes brian and jared melissa and i are going to work together i got hoons you have hands i'm going to give you a nose oh okay someone needs deodorant all right got unknown no i don't have a mint [Applause] now leave him alone that's jared hello jared you've lost a lot of wood all right all right all right all right you are hot all right all right here's some hair oh okay how do i look you look oh all right good jared get into it i like that all right good am i naked yes okay cover me okay all right oh the naked sloth you're fine you're fine you're gonna be all right here we can do this okay all right i gave birth to a see you none of me all right whatever whatever whatever all right who are you talking to her who her who her all right and i'm glad about it all right all right you need to use your hands can you use your hands in any way yeah sure i can oh i knew all right oh okay oh that's good oh that's nice that's nice i got that attitude yeah all right all right you got an attitude can you move your feet oh troy go ahead oh there we go all right yeah uncoordinated all right riverdunes okay all right all right you look a little paunchy do i yeah maybe a little exercise sure maybe we'll start with some jumping jacks okay all right are you ready oh yeah a little jumping jacks ready and one i wouldn't left sir all right all right all that you haven't done one and they're hundred to you all right all right all right yeah you okay i don't know all right try it again jumping jacks are you ready and one good and two all right three all right can you hold it you mean hold it up yeah yeah hold it all right four hold it right there on michael jordan oh come on karate oh stop you know you want me stop it i want to touch your hair i want to touch your hair yeah oh stop it stop it [Applause] we're gonna do a song what's the song called it's called the hokey pokey what the hokey pokey they know it they know it it's very simple you follow my vocal instructions do you understand i do are you ready yes all right no i'll sing it oh all right i put my left arm out i put my left remote good i put my left arm in i put my left thumb in good i put my right foot out i put my right foot out good i didn't put it in yet all right thank you okay put it in all right put my right foot in now i do the hokey pokey and to do that you take one finger and just spin it around like that do you see just spin one finger there's one okay let me try this one okay that's good do one on each hand all right there you go spin just the finger all right just the whole hand is good too okay all right [Applause] all right all right all right are you ready uh-huh all right we start i put my left arm out i put my left thumb out good i put my left arm in i thought i looked oh man i put my right foot out i put my right foot in i put my right foot in i put my right foot in i do the hokey pokey i do the hokie talkie and i turn myself around or turn myself that's it turn yourself all the way around all right that's it [Applause] [Laughter] that feels really good all right here maybe we can do this maybe here we'll just make a new puppet okay it's like being born all right all right and that's what it's all about okay give him a big round of applause for helping out you guys are awesome melissa thank you great job are you okay i don't know all right you've lost everything but you're hearing uh-huh can you sit here i'll just [ __ ] all right [Laughter] i'm not real i know the puppets often have more personality than people we know you know um this is a good story this one my favorite show business stories 1991 years and years ago back in the stone age romeo and i were on a tv show called star search this was 1991 and he didn't have these great sound systems that they that people have these days and not at all this is a good story you guys in 1991 during star search they were having trouble in those days they used directional microphones if you've ever seen the old tonight show with johnny carson every once in a while you'll see a boom microphone shadow go from johnny carson to the guest to johnny to the guest exactly during rehearsals for star search they were having trouble telling the lie they could hear me perfectly but romeo no sound tell them why the boom microphone operator was moving the microphone from me over to tell me what we did with 100 grand the hundred thousand dollars uh it's gone don't ask all right let's play vegas oh stop stop i don't believe in gambling you know what happens to gamblers they become the referee in the nba come on man hey nice to meet you guys thank you very much give them all a hand [Music] you

Channel: CrownTV

Views: 153,360

Keywords: christian comedy, clean comedy, best clean comedy, best christian comedy, best christian comics, christian comics, christian standup, Sinbad standup, clean standup specials, standup comedy, standup comedy specials, best standup comedy specials, sinbad comedy special, thor ramsey comedy, thor ramsey comedy special, funny, comedy, comedians

Id: Wtsz-Rj3h_k

Length: 93min 21sec (5601 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 07 2021