Things Most People Learn Way Too Late in Life - AskReddit

a 20-minute longer commute is as bad for your job satisfaction as a 19 percent pay cut what do most people learn too late in life learning when to say no this can be quite hard for non-confrontational people or people who prefer to avoid conflict in order to please people consider what saying yes will cost you time energy money etc if you really can't part with what it would cost then no as a statement of fact and an act of self respect also recognize that other people are allowed to be upset or of negative emotions without it being your job to fix that even if they say you're the source or reason obviously if you've hurt someone with your words or actions you should apologize but if someone's mad at you for not doing them a favor too bad you are probably not their only option and they'll just have to learn to solve their own problems we're each responsible for our own happiness we can choose to add to the happiness of others but it's nobody's job to insure someone else's happiness what not to share on the Internet you should not share photos of your children for example too many predators and creeps out there lurking or stuff that makes your employer look bad and posts whining about how you got caught and fired to be more accurate it's important to be careful of what you share that as your identity attached to and/or has identifying details if you want to post offensive stuff never do it under your real name or even your main email just in case how to communicate not communicating with my wife almost destroyed my marriage I'm finally learning to tell my wife how I feel I learned to suck it up admit I was wrong and apologize feels so natural to me now to apologize to my wife when I'm being an a-hole I don't know what the appeal was to just dig my heels in and escalate but it's really nice now fights lasts all of five minutes if we even bother getting to that point I apologize to my sister once and she got all weirded out guess I know where it came from still don't do it on the Internet baby steps to not worry if you aren't living an exciting or extravagant life it's okay to live simply and quietly it doesn't mean that you're wasting your life I'm the most boring person ever I'm 30 never went out when I was younger never bunked a day of school got straight A's never smoked a cigarette or anything else never ever been tipsy and I don't drink I'm always at home crocheting playing with my kids gardening I have about four friends and no social media I didn't really date met my husband at 20 and got married didn't have a wedding and I loved getting a good bargain but I feel like I'm living the most exciting life because it's my most authentic life and I'm not changing the world but I'm keeping my part of the world beautiful and clean that happiness usually comes from a diverse range of interests hobbies and commitments you are not your job your romantic partner cannot be your everything etc it's so easy to get sucked into a life where your career is everything or where you wrap your entire identity around your partner there is nothing wrong with celebrating your loved ones and being close and there is nothing wrong with caring about your job you just need more to thrive I see this so often in relationships two people meet and fall in love they each inspire one another based on their interests and achievements it's part of what makes them fall in love but slowly over time they let those hobbies go stress gets in the way bills pile up and then one day they find themselves wondering why they ever love this person in the first place instead of being sexy and interesting they're just part of a routine how dangerous driving a car can be I survived two car accidents without any scratch in three months drive safe and remember just because you have priority way it doesn't mean that they will give it to you pay attention sometimes letting go of your priority is the way to avoid an accident that some things can never be undone the actions you take in the words you speak will come back around sooner or later yes some words can never be taken back I learned this the hard way this is why it's better to train yourself to think carefully before saying something I didn't do that because I wanted everything to come naturally but I realized that's just an excuse I used to avoid taking responsibility of things I said that dwelling in the past only wastes your present and shortens your future identifying mistakes in the past can ensure less mistakes in the future and might not the best thing to do but is certainly a good option self-reflection on past action is important but take your lesson from it and move on this quote for max payne 3 resonates with me a lot the way i see if there's two types of people in this world those that spend their lives trying to build a future and those that spend their lives trying to rebuild the past that it's never too late to learn my mother once turned down the opportunity to go to law school when she was 44 years old now that she is 68 years old and still working at really hunter she says this a lot to me because she'd be retired now after having been a lawyer for 20 years by now whereas she still has to work because she has only made a lower administrative wage all these years the value of walking away from someone toxic in your life even if it is your parents and family if you are thinking of it and are scared and have somewhere where you can land in a safe place then do it it hurts like hell for a long while but it gets better in one day you realize how peaceful your life isn't you find you only miss the family you wish you had had also find a support net but for your own sanity just avoid the topic with people who are curious not many people understand and will try to talk you into making up with your family how to manage your finances lesson number one $1000 is not a lot to have but it's a lot to Oh lesson number two it's much easier to blow $100 than it is to make $100 lesson number three if you can't afford a contraceptive you can't afford kids lesson number four something expensive and unexpected will eventually happen whether you prepared for it or not have emergency money prepared for it lesson number five a talent can almost always be turned into a trade if you work hard and market yourself correctly lesson number six if something fancy was costing $1,000 and is now available at $750 doesn't mean you should buy it you didn't save $250 you just lost $750 instead of 1000 dollars friend have mind inherited four hundred thousand dollars from a relative he announced it on Facebook suddenly had tons of new friends a new apartment new electronics new girlfriend who was madly in love with him they got married in a huge ceremony the money was gone within eighteen months and within three months of that she divorced him for being broke and he had to move back into his mom's how do not care about how others see you seems simple enough for me now in my 20s but back in high school there were many ifs given about how others saw me ironically those people that didn't care how others saw them were often the more respected ones many college degrees have no job market trade school is a financially solid option out of high school my biggest regret in life is going to college I luckily got out of it with way less debt than most for my completely unmarketable degree woo communications in high school I wanted to be an electrician I was a musician and was fascinated with how amplifiers and whatnot work I didn't even know that that field is probably one of the most well paid trades there is because it's dangerous when I was 17 my parents told me go to college where you are and our son anymore off to college I went I've since restarted in a totally different field which I could have gotten into out of high school and would probably be in a cushy office position by now but I'm doing okay my story is a rare one there really shouldn't be people with master's degrees working at McDonald's but this is the world we live in that salary amount is not the entirety of an equation when deciding where to work you have to take into account the cost of living commute times the safety of the nearby area and the convenience of living in the area studies have shown that taking a 20-minute longer commute is as bad for your job satisfaction as a 19 percent pay cut on top of that wealth equals money in money out if a new job pays 20k more but if rent and property prices are 30k more per year you are taking a pay cut on top of that you have to consider your future do you have to move to an undesirable location to work there crammed in a little apartment where the nearest services are an hour away what about air quality what about noise levels is this a place where you want to start a family and raise kids all of those play a factor in determining the desirability of a job I am a firm believer that my job doesn't exist outside the city as a BS myth even if you're a super specialized rocket scientist with a PhD in orbital dynamics NASA is not the only organization with a job opening for you it's better to have a career in mind and then work backwards to find what is required to obtain it then go for an educational path and hope it all falls into place life is practically easy mode when you actually know what you want to do and can work towards it the world seems full of scammers and huxter's happy to prey on people who don't know what they want to do in life many of them at respectable institutions do this course ten thousand dollars per semester it's useful for everything translation it's less useful on your CV and for any job than a couple weekends browsing random Wikipedia articles but I think the problem is deeper that our society is comically bad at helping inform young people on the matter have I ever remarked on how completely ridiculous it is to ask high school students to decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives and give them nearly no support in doing so support like say spending a day of peace watching twenty different jobs and then another week at their top three choices with salary charts and projections and probabilities of graduating that subject given their test the more so considering this is a central allocation question for the entire economy that friendships and relationships should never be so difficult to be in that it drains you of joy or throws you into depression and if you are the depressed friend that keeps losing connections with meaningful people it's never too early to get help even if you think you can beat it it's temporary or you don't deserve it toxicity and any person is inevitable as people grow and change what separates the toxic people from others is that they refuse to or unable to recognize their own toxic patterns and they cannot change their toxic behaviors when they negatively impact others unlearn your own issues do self work you're always going to be better for it knowing when to not be nice certain situations call for firmness it's just something you learn to feel out on the fly for me it came with becoming more adept at articulating my thoughts coupled with learning not to put much stock in what strangers or acquaintances I'm not close with think unfortunately there are many people out there even people one loves ready of take advantage of those who are nice and kind by nature knowing when not to be nice is liberating and will garner you respect maybe seems paradoxical but I've learned being kind when not being nice is often the best path to take avoids physical confrontation you know there will also be times when someone is a genital and being nice does F all this is when you put your foot down you're the master of your own head the big boss of brain town the Alpha have beta thoughts you shouldn't let stray thoughts or feelings control your life it's perfectly okay to disconnect yourself from them and control your mental state you are not your thoughts you are the awareness of your thoughts too many people these days don't understand that they let their thoughts control them unquestionably the ability to tell your own brain hey f off stop doing that is so irrevocably powerful that it's frustrating how many people don't understand that you can do that I think it's a realization that has to come through your own little epiphany drugs aren't as bad as your parents said drugs are actually just as bad or worse just in different ways take care of your body until age 30 and you'll probably be healthy forever don't take care of it and the rest of your life will be much worse save 20 percent of every single check from every job even your teenage after-school job and put it in a small bank or credit union that you can forget about emergencies are bad enough you don't need financial stress added to one it's never too late to get out of a bad relationship and never too soon either through rose-tinted glasses red flags just look like everything else if the only reason you're doing something is because of tradition it's probably a bad idea maturity I have many subjects that I'm passionate about and I seek out places to discuss but even if I meet someone that completely disagrees with me it's not my job or my desire to change their opinion or even discuss the subject with them when it has nothing to do with the relationship and sometimes I'm absolutely terrible at following that rule I'd always rather make friends than enemies it's tempting to make another out of someone but labeling someone a Lib [ __ ] or drum 4 reduces them to one subject matter and makes you lose out and what could be a valuable relationship that builds both of you up that being said there are toxic people everywhere sort of caution and prudence but do your best to never dehumanize that luck is a huge factor a lot of people go their whole lives thinking simply hard work gets you to the top that's the farthest from the truth hard work can get you places but not to the top without luck sorry that's just life it explains all the people at the top of the food chain they just got damn lucky only a few are mostly hard work heading on you might think hard work gets you to the top but so does networking which is just as important as the degree even if you get a degree in say drama or humanities if you know the right people or have the right skills you can get discovered way easier interest rates credit cards credit score money-saving techniques 401k in other words anything that keeps you from being trapped by poor money management take 401k matching it's free money keep three to six months worth of expenses either in the bank or somewhere easy to access no your expenses for that matter it's a bit easier to say during shelter in place because people are needing out and such if you've got two kids save in a 529 college savings plan don't need to do much per month if you start when they're born if you've got a kid spouse or property have life insurance unless you have a decent amount of cash left over at the end of the month you probably need supplemental long-term disability insurance it's cheap when you're young keep your credit cards below fifty percent capacity and as a rule of thumb never close them but stop using old ones Roth is better than traditional for most young people unless you expect your income to never go up in the future start a mentality of pay bills first save X amount next then spend what's left on leisure instead of pay bills first pleasure second and saving if there's anything left thanks for listening to radio TTS hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell for the answers to all live questions click the right box for the radio TTS life advice playlist let us know in the comments what you think about these stories [Music]

Channel: Radio TTS

Views: 136,914

Rating: 4.9620275 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, best of reddit, askreddit, reddit story, ask reddit, reddit cringe, askreddit funny, reddit funny, r/askreddit, top posts, reddit best, r/, reddit top posts, askreddit top posts, reddit top post, radio tts too late, radio tts life advice, reddit best advice, reddit advice, life advice reddit, reddit best life advice, good advice reddit, reddit life advice, life lessons, life skills, regrets, secrets of living, advise

Id: lUvhcFk01kE

Length: 15min 41sec (941 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 01 2020