The tremendous growth that comes from surviving a narcissistic relationship

hey everyone it's dr romini we're gonna now bring this series on narcissistic abuse to a close and here's where i'm gonna end on it it has been weeks of physical illness and a town and depression and you know confusion this has been a relatively depressing series but i want to tell you something as i was put bringing the series to a close out dawned on me that you know what if i was gonna go on like some sort of brutal mission into the wilderness you know who i'd want at my side a hardcore survivor of narcissistic abuse because i got to tell you people who have survived this and are still relatively intact are probably some of the most sort of badass people in our midst so let's talk about that let's land this on it's not all just confusion and it's not all self-doubt there's also a remarkable amount of growth that takes place and as always i'm going to invite you please come on in subscribe to this channel give this video a like if you end up like if only if you end up liking it hit that bell get the notifications for our many times a week content but let's talk a little bit about growth the growth that happens believe it or not when you go through narcissistic abuse now as i said this series was focused on all of the patterns of narcissistic abuse that can result in all kinds of dysfunction and disability and distress and health problems is not again it's not a very pretty picture but as i i really believe that misses something for all of the difficult experiences out there there are some strengths that emerge i'm gonna say this i've said this about a thousand times in the other videos and i know i'm starting to repeat myself but i don't care surviving narcissistic abuse is a superpower so just as i have provided a deep dive into the various problematic patterns associated with narcissistic abuse let's take a minute to review some of the unique strengths that come out of having experienced narcissistic abuse first people who have come to narcissistic abuse are exquisitely patient after what you've been through as a survivor of narcissistic abuse you know patients better than anyone if you were able to survive and truly grieve this relationship and put these patterns behind you one of the skills you cultivated whether you had intended to or not is incredible amounts of patience and while your patience was clearly wasted on your narcissist there are so many other relationships that can benefit from patients including parenting workplace issues and workplace relationships healthy friendships healthy family relationships and any number of other healthy relationships in your life after enduring narcissistic abuse and having to weather the storms of realistic expectations that are often dashed or having to hold your tongue and not getting into pointless struggles or pointless arguments and never being able to speak your truth you have become a patient's expert but sadly you have wasted this skill on the narcissist so take that patience and pay it forward and put it into relationships that could benefit from it and that will benefit you the second strength is resilience anyone anyone who can survive a narcissistic relationship and still laugh and smile and maybe even trust love again and have friendships and find joy that is resilience after living in an alternative reality and having your existence invalidated living in a way that you never feel like you can get it right and that you're able to still get up in the morning and get through the day that's resilience and resilience that quality will pay massive dividends in other areas of your life and particularly for those of you who are fortunate to get the narcissist out of your life that resilience really will work well for you number three people who survive narcissistic relationships no longer suffer fools you may have become more discerning many people after they experience narcissistic abuse are actually afraid of meeting new people whether it's dating meeting new friends getting to know new colleagues anyone you start thinking and fearing that everyone will be like this you may actually start to get concerned like maybe i'm being too fussy and too judgmental about people no i want you to think of yourself more as a connoisseur of people now you're a person who will pay attention to red flags and walk away early this time and then just a warning about this particular quality you have now all of those gaslighters and those enablers out there are not going to like that you're more discerning they're going to try to press you with that sense of doubt and they're going to say well you're being very judgmental you're not giving anyone a chance remember last time you listened to all that nonsense about giving people chances and all that rhetoric you wasted years of your life life doesn't last forever and you've already wasted enough time on this narcissistic relationship this time listen to your instincts no never suffer fools again fourth you may now be more willing to cut out other toxic people from your life forgive me for being cynical but once you are able to remove or at least set major boundaries with one toxic person in your life you are pretty quickly going to be able to do it with ease with many others you may now feel empowered to clean up your life remove the friends who undermine you and minimize you remove the co who hold you back remove the family members who invalidate you and clean up that social media feed and remove the voices that just bring more toxicity into your life if you can find the courage to eliminate one toxic narcissist it's like cleaning out a closet you start being willing to get rid of all of it and you may feel more fearless about being alone and instead recognize that being alone or alone is better than being with people who are bad for you and your mental health fifth after this relationship you've learned to no longer be an enabler many people who experience narcissistic abuse spent years being enablers years you spent years delivering narcissistic supply and making excuses and justifications and rationalizations and maybe even silencing the voices of those who told you that this is not a healthy relationship with this narcissist you now recognize how toxic that enablers are and may now not be any longer willing to be one and that doesn't mean that you're going to call the narcissist out to other people it may simply be an unwillingness to participate in the discourse of dysfunctional families workplaces and friend groups anymore sixth you may now be much more comfortable with your own company after this experience you recognize that alone is way better than toxic and after years of being afraid of being alone you may be more likely to feel as though while being alone may not feel good it certainly beats the hell out of putting up with the nonsense and abuse of a narcissistic relationship and once a person learns to enjoy their own company it's such a critical skill because then they do learn never again to settle for a messy cruel painful trauma-bonded relationship and label it a loving relationship seventh you learn to take ownership of your stuff a journey through narcissistic abuse forces you to do a deep dive into yourself to figure out how you found yourself in this mess and then you may need to own the early narcissistic relationships you had in childhood your child-like view that you've always had of toxic people your fears of being alone narcissistic abuse becomes a wake-up call to get your own house in order and own your stuff for no other reason than that you're not going to fly blind into another relationship and that's what happens in a narcissistic relationship you have to learn to do this deep dive into yourself and while it may be uncomfortable you now see it is not nearly as uncomfortable as your narcissistic relationship surviving narcissistic abuse can sort of imbue you with a serene sense of being self-possessed for not falling for the enabling nonsense that's happening all around you for finally connecting with yourself and learning how to set this boundary this can be a very lonely journey but it's well worth it there is nothing more wonderful than time spent with a fellow survivor the folks who are also i don't know sort of woke to this and who can look into your eyes and without saying a word they get it no more someone saying to you did you try everything or maybe it wasn't that bad surviving narcissistic abuse and not losing yourself in it is a surefire way to propel you to being your authentic self there are hordes of other narcissistic abuse survivors out there find them they're in the comments section too the quiet camaraderie of survivorship and the wisdom that comes with it can ultimately actually be incredibly comforting now everyone i listed seven things seven gifts seven strengths that come out of someone surviving a narcissistic relationship what i'd love to hear from you in this comment section because i actually think the other viewers would benefit too what strengths did you walk out of your narcissistically abusive relationship with i'm i haven't hit them all now that you're out and you survived you might very well be thinking gosh now i'm this or that please share that we're so used to sharing all the bad stuff that's happening it would be so good to hear your stories of strength and more importantly for other people who are going through it to hear about the triumphs so these are the things they know they can look forward to if they survive their experience of narcissistic abuse which i'm hoping through this channel and all these resources that all of you will thanks again for tuning in give us a thumbs up if you liked it come join this amazing community just take a look at those comments section you'll see what you're coming into there's a whole world of survivors out there find them bye

Channel: DoctorRamani

Views: 444,486

Keywords: yt:cc=on

Id: YmLPLzaQ5MY

Length: 12min 0sec (720 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 30 2020